The Heart of the Leader
by Kira Tamarion
Summary: AU: Siobhan Cousland, wife of Gareth MacTir brother of Queen Anora. Siobhan is Teyrna to his Teyrn. Now she is The Warden and he is leading the Chasind. Together will they change the face of Ferelden? A look at love, leadership & family during the blight
1. Prologue Lost in Thought

AN: Addai's wonderful story "The Arrangement" got me thinking, what if Loghain did have a son in addition to having Anora? A match between a Cousland daughter and Mac Tir son would be interesting politically at least, and would sure as heck complicate the DA:O story if you use the Cousland origin. So without further ado, here is my first foré into Fan Fiction.

I own nothing. Bioware owns all. And a special thank you to Addai.

**Prologue – Lost in Thought**

Gareth Mac Tir stood in his late mother's morning room, it was early in the day and he felt a need to be close to his mother's memory. When she was alive, the room was always filled with warmth and life. His mom _said _it was because the morning sun filled the room with the promise of a new day.

Gareth later realized that _her_ presence was what gave life to the room. Without her, the room was simply a room.

Gareth remembered sitting in this room with his older sister while Mother told them stories. She told them tales of fancy and she told them about the Mac Tir history, about their father at the River Dane and their grandfather, whose name he bore, leading the rebels in the Southron Hills. The thing he remembered most though was the faraway look in her eyes when she spoke of their father - Teyrn Loghain Mac Tir. The faithful husband, and caring father, who was forever absent and forever wore mask.

Once Mother died, life revolved around the palace in Denerim. As they grew up, Anora followed her father around like a shadow; Gareth became King Maric's squire and a friend to Prince Cailan. Cailan was good hearted and they got along well, but Cailan had a habit of ignoring reality or at least not being interested in it. Lore, flights of fancy, and knights of old were his passion, his ambition, and frequently his downfall. So Gareth became Cailan's protector – of sorts. Given his Father's relationship with the King, the irony of his relationship with Cailan was not lost on Gareth.

His thoughts continued to wander and he thought of his sister Anora, soon to be Princess Anora, and how she was _truly _their father's child. Like both of their parents, she was strong, very smart, and crisply efficient. However, she never learned to temper those traits with warmth or kind words and now she wore the same mask as their father. Anora and Cailan's marriage would be a good match, Gareth thought. He was quite sure his sister could handle administering a kingdom. Cailan would need that.

Gareth shook his head slowly, looking out the window. He thought about the examples of his father, of King Maric and of Prince Cailan. One day he would be Teyrn. How would he rule when his time came?

Then he remembered something his mother had told him – some leaders rule by strength of arms, some by strength of mind, and some by strength of heart, but the most memorable and effective leaders use all three. Gareth, in the silence of the empty room, promised his mother's memory that he would use his heart every bit as much as his might and his mind.

With that, Gareth softly closed the door.


	2. Saturnalia

**Satinalia**

She stood just outside of the main hall. It was Satinalia and King Cailan and Queen Anora were hosting the annual feast and ball. Her mother and father were insistent that she attend and wear clothing befitting her station. Siobhan laughed as she remembered her mother's horrified look when she wore her armor to the last event. That time, she had managed to evade her parents until the ball had started. Eleanor put up with it for a few dances, but then banished her daughter to their rooms for the rest of the night. Siobhan sneaked out of the Cousland rooms and spent the rest of the evening in the stables, with stable hands, grooming the horses. She considered it time well spent, even if she was forbidden from leaving castle Highever for a month.

Siobhan was always a bit of a tomboy, much to her mother's distress and her father's amusement. Instead of hosting salons and teas she would rather use her skill at arms to fight for justice. However, Siobhan Cousland's strong sense of duty made her realize that she needed to turn her attention to making an acceptable match.

So there she stood at the Satinalia Ball. Instead of her usual messy ponytail, her cognac colored hair was curled and pined within an inch of its life. Instead of her leather armor, she was gowned in a sapphire dress that enhanced her midnight blue eyes. The dress had a form fitting basque. The sleeves were long and tapered, flowing along the firm muscles of her arms ending in gentle frills of ivory lace. The full skirt fell gracefully to the floor accentuating her height.

Many think she is beautiful, but people learned that Siobhan didn't care a fig about it, and if pressed, her comments were not repeatable in mixed-company.

From her vantage point she could hear the music, and see the people. But she hated being at these events, and she really didn't look forward to being spun around the room by some stiff-necked, sweaty-palmed, noble's son trying to curry her father's favor. Fussing with her dress she said, "I feel like a Maker-forsaken, trussed-up Satinalia goose!"

"Yes, well as at least no one has cooked you, yet," Fergus said as he walked up to his sister.

Siobhan arched her eyebrow. "Oh? Is that a comment on married life? I'm sure Oriana wouldn't appreciate hearing that."

"Hearing what?" Her sister-in-law said as she joined Fergus.

"I fear my dear brother has just equated married life with being a cooked goose."

"What, I am no longer the ball and chain?" Oriana laughed, she and Siobhan always enjoyed teasing Fergus.

"Hey! Wait! I've...I've never said any such thing!" Fergus tried to defend himself to his wife.

"What was that comment the other day, when I asked to join you at the Tavern?" Oriana gave him a teasingly angry look.

"I was just kidding, Ana!" Fergus said helplessly, "I never think of you as a ball and chain."

"Yet you think that our marriage has cooked your goose. No?" Oriana said still smiling.

Siobhan laughed. "Fergus, just give up and say something romantic to your wife."

Fergus signaled his surrender, then knelt in front of his wife, "Ana, my dear sweet love, grant me the honor of dancing with the most beautiful woman in all of Thedas."

Oriana pretended to think about it for a second then smiled. "Since you put it like that." They all laughed and Fergus escorted her back to the ball.

"Teasing your poor brother again, Pup?" Bryce Cousland, gave his daughter a wry grin, as he passed Fergus and Oriana.

"It's not like it's difficult to do father. You know how flustered Fergus can get."

"You should be on the dance floor yourself, instead of hiding in the wings." Siobhan started to look dubious. "Lest I tell Fergus about how you fell off the horse this morning because you forgot to tighten the saddle."

"Father!" Siobhan looked horrified, but Bryce smiled warmly at his daughter. "You're not the only one capable of being a trouble-maker"

Siobhan kissed her father on the cheek and reluctantly moved into the dance hall.

**~oOOo~**

Gareth saw Siobhan Cousland enter the main hall. The way she bore herself like a trained warrior, but her expression spoke of a gentle heart. He saw her try to make her way across the hall, but was soon inundated with requests to dance. Eventually she took to the floor with Oswyn, Bann Sighard's son.

Thinking back to the feast, Gareth noticed, of all things, her interactions with the servants. Most nobles were, at best, dismissive of the help, but Siobhan's requests were always polite and kind, and her smile of thanks was always genuine.

"I've noticed you've been more a watcher than a doer this evening," Teyrn Loghain said, putting a hand on his son's shoulder.

His thoughts interrupted. He looked at his father. "Da, you know how I hate these things."

"They're not my favorite way to pass the time either." The Teyrn chuckled dryly, then said more sternly, "but you are my heir, so do your duty and stop sitting on your arse."

"Yes, ser!" Gareth said and moved towards the dance floor.

**~oOOo~**

As Oswyn and Siobhan danced, Oswyn talked ceaselessly about was how well the Bann was doing, how much he had personally helped his father run it, and how much he admired Highever.

_Maker save me, his palms are sweaty!_

Oswyn felt a tap on the shoulder and heard a deep voice. "May I cut in?" He was about to make a smart remark until he realized he was looking up at Gareth Mac Tir. Oswyn stood aside. "Yes Ser...please do. I fear I have...monopolized too much of Lady Cousland's time."

Siobhan smiled. "It was an honor Ser Oswyn, please give your father my regards."

Gareth took Siobhan's hand and began to gracefully move her across the floor. "I find these events quite tedious."

Siobhan, surprised by his statement, was cautious. "You do?"

"Yes, and if I may be so bold, given the look on your face when you entered the Hall, it seems you think so too."

"Ser, you may be too bold," Siobhan replied crisply, but his candor intrigued her. She softened her tone to take the sting out of her words. "but I would be a liar if I contradicted you." She smiled and added, "Though I would have to say 'tedious' is the least colorful term I would use."

Gareth laughed, which was a rich, musical sound. He gently pulled Siobhan closer to him as he looked into her dark-blue eyes. "Then, my Lady, perhaps we can endeavor to make this event less tedious."

They danced through a couple of songs, then he escorted her off the floor to get some refreshments. Seeing this, Fergus whispered to his father and mother, "Do you think it's wise that Siobhan gets close to Mac Tir?"

Bryce, who had been watching the event unfold on the dance floor, frowned, but replied, "Gareth Mac Tir has shown none of the traits that make his father...difficult to deal with. He has always been respectful, seems open-minded, and when asked gives well-reasoned opinions."

"But he's a Mac Tir!"

"And you're a Cousland; we treat people fairly and with honor," Eleanor strongly reminded her son. "Nothing Gareth Mac Tir has done has indicated that he is anything but an honorable man."

Fergus felt the sting of his mother's reprimand, but it didn't change his thoughts.

At the refreshment table, Siobhan graciously accepted a drink from the servant, and looked at her escort. "So, my Lord, why do you find these events so tedious?"

"I generally find the nobility are more concerned with gossip and positioning and less concerned with the health and welfare of the people under their rule. These events just makes that ever so much more obvious."

"You're quite forthright in your opinions with someone you barely know. How do you know I won't just use your words to my advantage?" Siobhan challenged.

Gareth looked into her eyes. "A woman who treats servants like people and not chattel is certainly not trying to curry favor with the nobility."

Siobhan blushed under Gareth's gaze; he favored his father in looks - the same strong face, jet-black hair and sky-blue eyes. He wore his hair to his shoulders and sported a goatee. Gareth was taller and more broadly built than his father, and his manner was something Siobhan had never encountered in the other young nobles: he had a poise and maturity about him that made him seem far older. From all she had seen so far, he was a gentleman, one that drew her in, and one she wanted to know better.


	3. Saturnalia Continued

AN: Sorry it's a short update, I want the Tourney to be it's own chapter. Thanks for those who faved this story! Also I'm looking for a Beta, so PM me if you could beta this story

**Satinalia continued**

"Do you intend to fight tomorrow's tourney?" Gareth asked as he spun Siobhan around the dance floor.

Siobhan sighed, "I told mother I would try to be more ladylike at this event."

Gareth chortled.

"Ser, you forget your manners." Siobhan responded primly.

"Sorry, bad timing. I was responding to the idea that being a lady precludes being a warrior. You mother was a battle maiden herself, was she not?"

Siobhan rolled her eyes. "She was. A point she seems to have conveniently ignored."

"Did you promise not to participate?

Siobhan smiled conspiratorially. "Why no, in fact, I only said I would try_. _And before you ask, yes I just happened to bring my armor."

Gareth laughed, "Then dear Lady, may I carry your favor into battle?"

"Only if I may carry yours."

**~oOOo~**

After the ball, the Couslands were returning to their rooms; Eleanor pulled Siobhan aside. "You spent quite a lot of the evening with Gareth Mac Tir."

"Yes, mother, he's a very interesting young man," Siobhan answered lightly, not sure where her mother was leading the conversation.

Eleanor smiled and put her arm around her daughter's shoulder. "I'm so proud of you! You looked lovely; you interacted with the other nobles. You see, when you try, you can actually enjoy meeting young men."

"Mother, the only reason I enjoyed meeting Gareth was because he isn't like the other young men."

Eleanor began to frown and Siobhan braced herself for a lecture, when Bryce interjected, "Fortunate, as you are not like the other young women, Pup." He took wife's hand and gently pulled her towards their bedroom.

After their door closed, Siobhan stood in the hall.

"Andraste's left foot! Should I just wear a placard saying 'marry me before my mother goes insane'?"

**~oOOo~**

Siobhan was up before dawn to take her armor and weapons to the field. She left a note for her parents saying she would be spending the tourney with some of the other young nobles, and would see them afterward. She felt a bit of guilt at the deception, but she knew of no other way to participate in the tournament. It also wasn't like she would be the only woman, either. She had heard that several other women would be entering the lists.

She met Gareth at the arena. Unlike last night she wore trousers and a tunic, her hair in its customary ponytail.

Gareth, already in his armor, took Siobhan's breath away. He wore a beautiful set of heavy silverite armor, on his back was a shield blazoned with the Mac Tir wyvern. His black was hair pulled back, and he wore a big smile. Being tall and broad-shouldered, made Gareth look every inch the Knight and heir to a Teyrnir. His helmet was under his arm and in his other hand he carried a delicate yellow ribbon.

Siobhan looked at the ribbon, confused at first, then with recognition came a blush and a smile, "Your favor, Ser?"

"As promised My Lady."


	4. The Tournament

AN: Thank you to the faves, alerts, and to Superstar Kid for the review. I still would love to have a beta.

**The Tournament**

The sky was clear, which was rare enough in Ferelden, and the air was crisp and cold, but nothing could stifle the excitement of the crowd. It seemed that all of Denerim, and most of northeastern Ferelden, had turned up for this event. The stands were full of nobles and commoners alike, united as one group of energized, cheering fans.

Siobhan looked at the sign up sheet at the entry table. Entrants could use their actual name and title, or a name of their own choosing. These mystery entrants were always well-received as they added to the entertainment value of the event. The more elaborate or ribald a mystery name was, the better.

Siobhan looked at the roster, in addition to the names she recognized, she also saw

_Ser Red Beard, the Mabari Master  
Ruthless, the Drakon River Raider  
Ser Peerless, Protector of Ferelden Maidenhood  
Ser Richard, Knight Errant of South Reach_

Siobhan picked up the quill and thinking about Gareth's comment last night wrote "The Lady."

This was her first Royal Tournament and she was a ball of nervous excitement. She had fought in local tournaments, sparred with many of the knights visiting Highever, and had a strict training regiment, so she was confident that she'd make a good showing, but still... Ferelden's best would be competing in this event.

Other women had entered the list, but they had used their real names, so the mystery of Siobhan's identity and the yellow favor she carried were creating quite a stir. Several competitors came up to her trying to figure out who she was and whose favor she wore. Siobhan, who was clad in medium armor, carried a shield with no markings and wore a mask under her helm. She kept her responses to "yes" and "no." Gareth aided in hiding her identity by keeping his distance, but at his waist he very clearly wore the favor of Siobhan Cousland – a blue square of fabric blazoned with the House Cousland laurel wreath.

**~oOOo~**

Fergus, nursing a sore shoulder stayed out of the tournament and was sitting with his family. Oriana and Fergus had given the nanny leave to enjoy the tournament, keeping Orin with them. The small boy was almost out of his skin with excitement. Mother, Father, Grandmother and Grandfather, all of his favorite people, surrounded him, with one obvious exception.

"Where is Auntie?" Orin asked his father.

Fergus suspected that Siobhan might have entered the tourney, but said nothing of this to Orin. "She is spending some time with her friends and watching the tournament with them."

Normally, Orin would have repeatedly asked, "why?" especially as he adored his Auntie, but he was quickly distracted by the Royal Herald who had just walked into the arena. Garbed in the bright red and gold of the Royal family he raised his arms and in a loud, clear voice greeted the crowd.

"Teyrns, Teyrnas, Arls, Arlessas, Banns, Knights, Ladies, Loyal Subjects of Ferelden, pay heed! Today, during the glorious festival that is Satinalia, we welcome into our most lavish royal arena knights, champions, and warriors of renown! Many have proven their strength-at-arms in tourneys throughout our fair Ferelden, but now, _now_ they come together here, in the presence of our Royal Majesties King Cailan and Queen Anora to prove their true worth.

Now it is my deepest honor and privilege to present our, Brave, Noble, and Generous, Sovereign, His Glorious Majesty, King Cailan, and his Beautiful, Gracious, and Graceful wife, Her Majesty, our Beloved Queen Anora. May the Maker continue to bless their reign."

The Herald finished with a sweeping bow and the crowd bowed their heads as Anora and Cailan entered their box. Cailan's smile was broad. He was in his element and fed on the excitement of the crowd.

He nodded to Anora, and then raised his hand to speak, "Thank you gentle herald for your wondrous words. Blessed subjects of Ferelden, today We dedicate this tournament to you, in humble thanks for your loyalty and steadfast support and for working to keep Our lands, strong and fruitful…_For Ferelden!"_

The crowd cheered until they were almost hoarse. Anora smiled as she sat beside her husband. She hated tournaments, but it was her idea to dedicate this one to their subjects. She knew that these were the kind of events that reinforced Cailan's popularity with the people. It was what he was best at so Anora encouraged him whenever she could.

Once the crowd quieted down, the Herald announced the rules for the Tournament. For the Passage of Arms each knight would fight in single combat against all challengers, using weapons of the challenger's choice. The fight would end when a combatant touched the ground with hand or knee. The victorious fighter would receive a token. Once the knights had battled their challengers, tokens would be counted and the top 8 fighters would be part of the two-team Final Melee. All members of the victorious team would receive tokens. The fighter with the most tokens would be the Tourney Champion.

After reciting the rules, the Herald continued, "Honored subjects of Ferelden to whom our Royal Majesties have most graciously dedicated this fine tournament, I present to you the brave and noble Knights who have entered the Passage of Arms to stand against all comers_._

_Ser Cauthrien, Knight of Gwaren_  
_Ser Donall, Knight of Redcliff_  
_Ser Gareth, Knight of Gwaren_  
_Ser Gilmore, Knight of Highever, and_  
_Ser Landry, Knight of Denerim."_

The crowd roared. As each Knight took the field they saluted the crowd, bowed to their Arl or Teyrn, and knelt as they faced the Crown.

Then the Passage of Arms commenced.

~oOOo~

Siobhan, skilled in both two swords and sword and shield fighting, challenged all five Knights. She was tall and strong, but it was her agility and speed that gave her an advantage over the larger, sword and shield wielding Knights. She defeated all, but it was Gareth who gave her the most difficult bout. When she brought him to his knee after hooking his blade with hers, he looked into her eyes and said quietly, "My Lady, next time I am on my knee before you, I hope it is under less public circumstances."

The crowd cheered the mysterious Lady, and the gallantry of Ser Gareth who kissed her gauntleted hand.

Having watched Siobhan train, Fergus and Bryce had figured out The Lady's identity. Fergus pulled his father aside. "Do you think Mother knows?"

Bryce sighed, "Fortunately Orin has been keeping her distracted, but if Siobhan wins this tourney-"

"-Mother will want to lock her in the castle for a year." Fergus finished.

Oriana, who had overheard Fergus, leaned in and whispered "Bryce, just remind Eleanor that many young suitors find victorious battle maidens very alluring. It could actually help her make a good match, just as it did for the both of you." she smiled.

"Fergus, your wife is a genius."

Fergus chuckled, "If Siobhan were here she would add something about Oriana being the brains and me being the brawn."

Bryce clasped him on the shoulder. "Siobhan would be proud, you tease yourself on her behalf."

Fergus simply sighed as Oriana and Bryce laughed.

**~oOOo~**

When the eight most victorious were chosen, each drew a stone from a velvet pouch to determine their team. Gareth and Siobhan were on the red team, along with Ser Gilmore, and Ser Red Beard, the Mabari Master - who Siobhan figured was really Ser Perth of Redcliffe. The gold team was made up of Ser Cauthrien, Ser Landry, Ser Donell, and Ser Peerless, Protector of Ferelden Maidenhood - who Gareth figured was really Thomas Howe of Amaranthine.

As the son of a Teyrn, the red team looked to Gareth as the leader. Gareth had everyone sum up their strengths and weaknesses, and based on that, he put paired Ser Gilmore and Ser Red Beard as shield partners and Siobhan would be his shield partner. She suggested that she fight with two swords as her agility would complement his size and longer reach.

Gareth chuckled, "Considering that is how you bested me, it's a suggestion I would be a fool to ignore."

Gareth looked at the team and said, "Remember, not only do we fight for our own honor, we fight for the honor and enjoyment of our people and our sovereigns." Everyone nodded in agreement, their excitement building.

Gareth then grinned widely. "Let's give them a battle worthy of their time and attention…For Ferelden!"

"For Ferelden!" his team shouted as they took the field.

The teams faced each other and began a complex dance, testing reach, testing weak points, and shouting good-natured taunts that entertained the crowd. When the swords finally clashed and the dust and sweat finally settled, team Gold yielded to team Red, who graciously congratulated them on a well-fought battle.

Tokens were distributed and tallied; there was a delay in announcing the winner as the tokens were recounted. The Herald conferred with King Cailan. The crowd sat in barely contained silence.

"Gentle audience, there is a tie between Ser Gareth, Knight of Gwaren, and The Lady. According to the rules of the list, in the event of tie there is a final bout to determine the winner."

"Your Majesties, may I propose an alternative?"

Cailan grinned. "Of course, Ser Gareth, what is your suggestion?"

"Your Majesties, The Lady already bested me during the Passage of Arms, and while my pride may desire a rematch, it should be in recognition of her unblemished record today that The Lady be declared the winner of the Tourney."

The chivalry of the gesture was not lost on the crowd. This was what they thought a knight should be. It was not lost on the King either who declared, "Let it be known that The Lady is declared the winner of the Royal Satinalia Tournament! Please join me in cheering her victory."

The crowd cheered loudly and then chanted for her to remove her helmet.

Siobhan never imagined in her wildest dreams that she would be standing here before the King and Queen as the tourney champion. She was also very grateful that a wall and several rows of seats separated her from her family, her mother in particular.

Cailan and Anora came to the field to honor the victor. Siobhan knelt and Cailan said, "Arise and reveal your true identity, as valiance and skill such as yours should bear the light of day."

Siobhan stood and slowly removed her helmet, and shook loose her hair.

The crowd gasped as they recognized Siobhan Cousland, then came to its feat, stomping and cheering.

Cailan turned to Gareth "And you, Ser Gareth, your display of chivalry today shall not go unrecognized by Us, what boon might We grant?

Gareth smiled, and took Siobhan's hand. "You Majesty, would you help me convince Teyrn Cousland to allow me to formally court his most amazing daughter."

Siobhan simply glowed.

Bryce and Fergus were floored; Bryce looked towards his wife and was astonished to see tears of joy in her eyes.

Teyrn Loghain may have been surprised, but his face held the same neutral expression it always did.

Anora smiled._ A Mac Tir alliance with House Cousland would solidify the Mac Tir standing in Ferelden._

Cailan looked to both Teyrns, to Siobhan, and then to Gareth, "Your boldness is matched only by your gallantry Ser Gareth; We would be happy to help you in your quest."

The crowd went wild.


	5. Hearts and Minds

AN: Thank you again for your reviews and faves! Bioware owns all and I am just playing in their yard.

**Hearts and Minds**

Siobhan and Gareth were in the arming area. With congratulations flying back and forth finding a quiet spot was next to impossible. Gareth leaned towards Siobhan's ear and whispered, "Meet me in the east garden in two hours." Siobhan smiled and nodded, Gareth kissed her hand and strode out of the room.

Thomas Howe walked up to her. She found his smile to be a mix of obsequiousness and arrogance, quite typical of both Thomas and his father Arl Howe, and just as disturbing.

"My dear Lady Cousland, you certainly struck a chord with the crowd and the Crown today. I'm sure you will become quite the inspiration for the other fair ladies of our Ferelden nobility. Though I do have some words of advice." he leaded close, "all good lionesses submit to their lions." And with that he walked away, leaving Siobhan red with rage and embarrassment.

Under her breath she mumbled, "Ser Peerless, Protector of Ferelden Maidenhood more like perverter" she shivered. _That man is as awful as his father._

Ser Gilmore managed to catch her attention and she was more than happy to motion him over. He wore an expression of brotherly pride, "Lady Cousland, I'm honored to have been one of those involved in your training; you made Highever quite proud today."

"You taught me many hard but important lessons, Ser Gilmore." Siobhan laughed, "In fact, I still have a bruise from the last one."

Ser Gilmore smiled. "Well, you did drop your guard, My Lady."

"Which is why she got the bruise." Fergus interjected. Putting an arm around Siobhan's shoulder he pulled her tightly against his side.

Siobhan knew that it was time to pay the piper. "Ser Gilmore, I really do need to see my parents, thank you for your kind words and for a well fought tourney."

Ser Gilmore bowed and excused himself.

Fergus carefully guided Siobhan out of the room. When they were away from the arming area, he let go of her. her brother looked and sounded grim. "Do you realize that Mother and Father are in a state?"

Siobhan nodded. "I know Mother must be-"

"Actually Mother is in a state of bliss, it's Father's state you should worry about."

**~oOOo~**

They were in Loghain's study. Gareth was sitting, facing his father's desk, the Teyrn was standing behind it. His expression was unreadable.

"I've seen bold actions before, but yours today was legendary. I would have expected something like that from Cailan, but not from you."

"Why thank you, Da."

"That wasn't meant as a complement." Loghain said dryly.

"I know."

Loghain arched an eyebrow at this, sighing as he sat down. "Why did you do it?"

Gareth knew that chivalrous, romantic notions were beyond his father, and would remain so no matter how he tried to explain the way Siobhan made him feel. "She is an accomplished woman, trained to be a Teyrna, and hails from a Ferelden family second only to the Royal house. Why wouldn't I?"

Loghain scoffed, "In such a public way? Is this some scheme of Cailan's?" Loghain pressed his son. A long time ago he realized that Gareth was both exceptionally bright and exceptionally forthright, sometimes distressingly so. He would make an excellent Teyrn as long as he didn't let his heart make the tough decisions.

Gareth sat silently, having said all he really wanted to at this point.

Loghain took a different tact. "Bryce Cousland takes many to Orlais. Do you know why?"

Gareth was surprised at this sudden change of direction, he approved of Bryce's diplomatic missions, but he knew they were an exceptionally sore point with his father. he spoke wth caution, "I know what I've been told. Why do you think he goes?"

Loghain was both perplexed and frustrated by his son's evasiveness and snapped, "Damn it Gareth, stop answering a question with a question and just answer me!"

"Fine, they are diplomatic visits, designed develop a trade relationship with Orlais. What is the question you actually want to ask?" Gareth challenged.

Loghain mimicked his son, mockingly, "Develop a trade relationship with Orlais. How in the Maker's name can you sit there and say that like it's the most natural thing in the world? Do you have any idea how dangerous Bryce Cousland's 'diplomatic visits' could be?" Loghain's frustration quickly turned to anger. "All I hear about now is how the occupation has been over for 28 years, that an alliance with Orlais would be good for Ferelden." Loghain sneered at his son. "You sound like Cailan."

Gareth stood and pounded his fist on the desk, "Father, you have done nothing but compare me to Cailan. You want to know why I did this in such a public way? Because I knew that it was a way to make people realize that I am not a replica of you. I can show emotion and still be seen as strong and in command." Loghain was about to speak, but Gareth continued, "Da, I am going to be Teyrn one day and I want to lead on my terms. I do not want people to expect me to be a copy of you. I want people to know, now that I am different. As I've already said, a match with Siobhan Cousland is politically and strategically smart, regardless of whether or not the Teyrn visits Orlais. I ask again, what-is-your-question?"

Loghain stood, and raged, "Enough! While you certainly are smart enough to make this kind of strategic decision, you are also perfectly capable of making a decision with your heart or your balls. A trait I hated in Maric, I hate in Cailan, and I will not tolerate in you!"

The two men stood there staring at each other, breathing heavily but saying nothing.

Gareth thought back over what his father had said and, more importantly, what he hadn't said. He realized that there was something… no, someone driving his father's fury. He said quietly, "Da, what's wrong? There is clearly something Cailan has done. I'm your son and your heir. Please, tell me."

It was moment's like this that Gareth reminded him so much of Celia. The same quiet understanding. The same ability to see to the heart of a matter. It was one of the things he treasured his son. Loghain placed his hands on the desk and slowly lowered himself to his chair. He pinched the bridge of his nose, and then looked up. His voice was strained and weary. "The longer Anora remains childless, the more the nobles will call for her to be put aside. Cailan is becoming more enamored with all things Orlesian. If he puts Anora aside, I fear that he might look to Orlais for a new bride. Then Orlais would win by marriage what it couldn't win by war."

Gareth sat and stared at his father. "Put Anora aside? They've only been married for 3 years. Have there been such rumblings?"

Loghain could only nod.

Realization suddenly struck Gareth. "You don't want me to court Siobhan because if Anora remains childless, you want to save her for Cailan. With Siobhan available, you think he won't look towards Orlais?"

Again, Loghain could only nod.

"No. Siobhan is not property to be held and traded and she is not a broodmare."

"So you do have feelings for her. That is what this show of chivalry was really about?"

Gareth slowed nodded. "Sometimes the heart and mind meet and it's a powerful force."

**~oOOo~**

Fergus and Siobhan arrived at their apartments where Bryce and Eleanor waited for them. When they walked in, Eleanor ran to Siobhan and hugged her. "My darling daughter, I'm so happy for you!" Siobhan was surprised and it took her a moment to return the hug.

"I'm not in trouble for secretly entering the Tournament?"

"Hardly darling! It's about time someone showed these ladies that holding salons and teas are not the only things women can do."

"Mother, I'm sorry if this sounds awful, but you are the same woman who banished me from a dance for wearing my armor, and when I secretly enter a Royal Tournament you're all smiles and hugs. I have to ask, would you be reacting the same way if Gareth Mac Tir hadn't asked to court me?"

Eleanor frowned. She had been so concerned about Siobhan's future. She had begun to doubt her daughter's desire to marry at all. To see her become the belle of the ball last night and then asked to be courted by the Teyrn's son had been such an enormous relief she hadn't really seen past that. She was so busy worrying about Siobhan never growing out of being a tomboy that she failed to realize she already had. Looking at her daughter with fresh eyes, she no longer saw the little girl covered mud, preferring trousers to skirts. The person who stood before her was a grown woman, who possessed a good head and a good heart .

Eleanor's eyes were bright with tears as she looked at her daughter. She gently brushed a lock of hair from Siobhan's eyes. "I am so sorry."

Siobhan didn't know how to respond. Eleanor took her daughter's hand. "I love you Siobhan and have only ever wanted the best for you. So much so, that I failed to notice when you grew up."

Siobhan's eyes then began to fill with tears. "I love you, too."

They hugged and cried until Bryce gently cleared his throat.

The women broke apart and started to laugh. Siobhan wiped her eyes. "What a soppy pair we are."

"Indeed." Eleanor pulled herself together. She looked at her husband. "I believe your father and brother would like to speak with you, in private, about Ser Gareth." Holding Bryce's hand she whispered into his ear. Her father looked serious for a second, and then looked at his wife. "Don't worry."

Eleanor left her with her brother and her father. Siobhan remembered what Fergus has said on the way here and after her mother's reaction she didn't think she was ready for her father's. Nonetheless, she held her head high, sat down and waited.

Bryce sat next to his daughter. In firm voice he asked, "Was Ser Gareth's request something you both planned?"

"What! Father, you know me, would I do something that underhanded?"

Bryce was angry. "You secretly entered that tournament."

Siobhan looked wide-eyed at her father. Tears fell down her cheeks as she stood quickly, about to stalk out of the room. Fergus grabbed her arm. "Sit."

She slowly sat back dowN as Bryce looked at her. "I'm sorry, Pup. I know you wouldn't do something like that. I'm just angry at being publicly painted into a corner, with the King pledged to help Gareth convince me about courting my daughter."

"Father, believe me, I had no idea Gareth was going to do that. Honestly, I was so taken in by the gallantry of what he did and how he did it, that I failed to realize how it might appear to you. I'm sorry."

Bryce hugged his daughter. "It's all right. I'm sorry for being so angry. Your mother was worried that I would react too harshly."

"That's what mother whispered to you?"

Bryce nodded.

"Wow, my sister the tomboy, swept off her feet by a man. Who'd have thought?"

It was just the right thing to say at just the right time to break the tension. Siobhan was speechless and Bryce simply laughed, "Pup, I hate to say it, but your brother's right."

Siobhan found her voice and grinned. "I suppose now and then even a blind pig can find an ear of corn."

Fergus opened his mouth and then closed it again. Bryce just laughed.

Bryce held Siobhan's chin gently in his hand. "Far be it from me to get in the way of romance, or your mother. You find Ser Gareth Mac Tir and tell him that I want to speak with him alone, tonight."

Siobhan nodded and left for her room. After she'd freshened up she headed for the east garden.

**~oOOo~**

Loghain stood up and looked at Gareth. "I suppose with Cailan on your side, there is nothing I can say that will stop this from happening."

"Da, even without Cailan's help, I would pursue this. Relationships between men and women don't have to be only political. I think that marriages also based on love create better rulers. I know he isn't your favorite person, but look at the relationship between Teyrn and Teyrna Cousland. Clearly they married for both reasons and look at how well Highever flourishes under them."

"Now you're impugning my marriage and my rule of Gwaren?" Loghain said hotly.

"No Da. Gwaren is doing well. I know you and mother loved each other, But I've known for a long time what kept you from home. You feared that love; you feared that somehow it would make you weak. You loved once before and it tore you apart so much that you've always feared it."

Loghain held his hand up. "I will not go down this road with you. You are too perceptive for your own good. Pursue your Lady Cousland and pray that Ferelden doesn't pay the price for your heart's choice."

Gareth stood up, "Nothing Siobhan or I will ever do will hurt Ferelden. On that you have my word as a Mac Tir." He bowed to his father and left the room.

Loghain looked at the door as it closed, caught between fierce pride and terrible fear, he put his head in his hands.


	6. Questions asked and answered

AN: Thanks for the reviews and the faves. This is a short update as I need to move the time line ahead a bit. Also the chapter after this will probably require bumping it to an M.

**Questions Asked and Answered**

Siobhan was actually relieved that she had arrived in the garden before Gareth. Her head was spinning from the speed of events. This time yesterday she was at the Satinalia feast, dreading the ball. Now she was a tourney champion, and about to enter into a courtship with Gareth Mac Tir.

She remembered her brother's comment about being swept off her feet. _Had that really been what happened?_ She thought about his respect and support for her skills as a warrior. She remember about the way he held her when they danced, about the way he'd boldly asked the King to help him pursue his cause to court her.

_Should I feel annoyed at his presumption. But was it really presumptive? He hadn't proposed marriage; he had only asked to court me._ _For women of my station, that is very progressive._ _But why did he do it? What it all some kind of show?_ At the time it seemed like he was the most romantic and chivalrous man she had ever known, but in the chill of the evening, after her father's angry remarks, she wasn't sure.

"Gareth Mac Tir," Siobhan whispered into the night, "Who are you?"

"Isn't that the point of a courtship, My Lady?" A deep and resonant voice sounded from the darkness.

His voice, its richness flowed through her body leaving warmth in its wake. Siobhan turned, and said simply, "That's what I've heard Ser, but I have no personal experience with the process."

Gareth could sense Siobhan's hesitation. _Have I been too bold and brash? Did I misread Siobhan's behavior?_ He walked closer. "Do you not want me to court you?"

Siobhan looked at Gareth as his face appeared out of the shadows; his expression was clearly one full of concern and self-doubt. _He is actually worried that he may have offended me! _Intrigued, Siobhan closed the distance between them, and looked into his sky-blue eyes. They held nothing save genuine warmth and concern. She saw no guile in them, no veiled intentions. She simply saw him, the Knight who showed valor in defeat and chivalry on the field. He was, as he appeared, a man with real emotions that he wasn't afraid to show, a man of strength, and of heart.

Putting a hand to his cheek, she smiled. "I do wish for you to court me, Ser Gareth. I want to know the man who is interested in who I am, a man who would petition a King to help him do it. I want to know the man who doesn't find tenderness a weakness. I want to know the man who can render me speechless with a few well-chosen words."

Gareth's face lit up, his eyes and smile were full of joy. He took both of Siobhan's hands in his and brought them to his lips. "I want to know everything that is you, Siobhan Cousland."

**~oOOo~**

Bryce had dressed for dinner and was in his study waiting for Gareth.

Siobhan had come by earlier to ask if her Father wanted to talk to Gareth before or after dinner. Bryce felt it best to talk before they saw the king at dinner. Her face had been red from the cold, but she glowed. _At least I'm not dealing with an arrangement that she didn't like._ He had hugged his daughter.

_Siobhan looked at her father and smiled. "Please Father, don't frighten him off."_

_"Pup, if I frighten him, then he's isn't the man for you."_

_A knowing smile lit her's face. "You know me too well."_

There was a knock at the door.

"Enter."

The door opened and Gareth Mac Tir entered the room. Seeing him standing there, Bryce was reminded so very much of Loghain's father. Gareth was the same height and had his grandfather's broad shoulders and chest. He also seemed to be possessed of the same easy manner.

"Please, Ser Gareth, have a seat. Port? Meade?"

Gareth sat. "No thank you, Your Grace."

"Fine then let's get straight to the point. You have put me in a difficult situation. How can I say no to the King of Ferelden should he press your case?

"I understand, Teyrn Cousland, and I apologize."

Bryce nodded. "Thank you for your apology, but why didn't you ask me for my permission? Why did you choose such a public display for what is rightly a private affair?"

Bryce was every bit as direct as Gareth had remembered, so he was equally direct in his response. "Your Grace, I honestly never thought about asking you first. I know how that sounds, but it's the truth. The only things I thought about were, first and foremost, that Siobhan is an extraordinary woman and all I wanted to do was sweep her off her feet. Second, that by doing it in such an unabashedly public way would set me apart from my father. I'm not blind your Grace, I know that the relationship between you and my father is difficult, that my father is feared and disliked in many circles, and that many people see my father when they see me. I am not Loghain Mac Tir and people need to understand that."

Bryce said nothing. He looked at Gareth and thought that the nature of his response alone set him apart from his taciturn father. "Why a courtship? You're heir to a Teyrnir; why not just pursue a marriage contract?"

Gareth replied, his voice deadly serious, "Because, Your Grace, you daughter is not property to be sold to highest bidder." Bryce was about to object but Gareth pushed on. "I know you would never actually sell Siobhan, but an arranged marriage over which the bride has no choice? She deserves so much more than that. She deserves to get to know me and I her. I don't believe in marriages solely for political gain, marriage should also be about love."

Bryce smiled. "Are you always so forthright?"

Gareth smiled sheepishly. "Yes. My father finds it distressing."

"I don't." Bryce said, "I respect a man who will speak his mind, even to a Teyrn. Alright Ser Gareth, you can call off the King. You have my permission to court Siobhan." Gareth started to smile, then Bryce's voice became stern and hard. "However, if you want to propose marriage to my daughter you had best come and ask my permission first. If you pull this stunt again, I don't care what your reasons are, you will never see my daughter again. Do I make myself clear?"

Gareth looked just as serious. "Yes Your Grace, I understand. I would expect no less of you if I were to do something that thoughtless with something as important as a proposal of marriage."

Bryce and Gareth stood up, and Bryce extended his hand. "You are a strong man Ser, one to be reckoned with. I would want nothing less for my daughter."

They clasped arms. "Thank you, Teyrn Cousland." Gareth bowed then left the room.

Bryce smiled and whistled a tune as he went to find his wife.

**~oOOo~**

Loghain and Cailan were sitting in the King's study having pre-dinner drinks. "I was very impressed with your son today. He showed great strength of character at the tournament."

Loghain snorted, "Before or after his ridiculously brash request?"

"Hardly brash, it was bold! I found it quite chivalrous. The crowd was enraptured, people will be talking about that moment for years."

"I'm sure that's a great comfort to Siobhan's father." Loghain replied with his customary sarcasm.

Cailan shook his head and grinned. "Bryce is reasonable man and I'm sure this will all work out perfectly. A match between the Mac Tirs and Couslands would be a strong one. Gareth needs a woman like Siobhan, and I would hate to see her wedded to someone of lesser stature."

Trying to change the subject, Loghain put down his drink. "Your Majesty, you have been having quite a few meetings with Arl Eamon recently, is there something wrong at Redcliffe?"

"Just some issues of trade." Cailan waived his hand dismissively, but his eyes betrayed him.

Loghain's stomach clenched. Arl Eamon and his Orlesian wife were a thorn in Loghain's side and he was quite sure that Eamon was the primary voice behind putting Anora aside. He sighed, "I know how much you enjoy discussions of trade."

Cailan wanted to steer his father-in-law away from this topic. "So, when Gareth and Siobhan marry will you step aside as Teyrn?"

"You mean _if_ they get married?"

"No my friend, I mean when. I can tell when romance is in the air."

Loghain swallowed what would have been a very cutting remark and focused on the question. "It was always my plan to step aside when Gareth married."

"Good! Then I will formally make you my chief military adviser."

"I already lead your armies, Your Majesty."

"Yes, yes, you're their General, but this would formally allow you to suggest and make military policy. Do say yes." Cailan pleaded.

Loghain arched an eyebrow. "Aren't we getting ahead of ourselves, Your Majesty? At the moment, I am still Teyrn of Gwaren." However the possibilities of what Cailan was offering him were impossible to ignore, and he smiled.


	7. Getting to know you

**AN: I thank you deeply for the reviews. They mean a lot to me. Bioware still owns all. I own nothing. I was going to publish this and the Engagement/Wedding/Honeymoon as one chapter, but it would be way too long. I am moving this to the M rating now, to be safe.  
**

**Chapter 6 – Getting to Know You**

Loghain and Anora were in the Queen's study, where he recounted his recent chat with Cailan. "Formally making me the Military Adviser for Ferelden is an interesting move. Were you behind the idea?"

"No Father, in fact this is the first I've heard about it." Anora replied, her eyebrow knitting together.

"Do you oppose the idea?" Loghain asked.

"No, no not at all, Cailan's idea is an excellent one…"

Loghain smiled. _Of course. T__hat's why Anora is perturbed_. "Perhaps Cailan is finally starting understand the threats from within and beyond Ferelden."

Anora shrugged her shoulders and said, "If so, I am all for it." Then changing the subject. "I do find Gareth's choice of match to be very politically astute, even if his method was unorthodox."

"Unorthodox? It smacked of something Cailan would do."

Anora laughed. "Yes, but I know my brother, there was more than showing Chivalry behind it."

"According to your brother, it was a way to show people that he is not me." Loghain said dismissively.

She thought about that for a moment. "Is that such a bad idea?"

Loghain arched an eyebrow. "How do you mean?"

The Queen leaned forward in her chair, "You have often complained that there are things going on in Ferelden, and in the Teyrnir that you cannot get information on because…well because you've intimidated people too much. Perhaps if they are more comfortable with Gareth…."

"I can have access to people who wouldn't normally talk to me. " Loghain finished, "Interesting. But Gareth keeps confidences very well."

"Yes, but if there's a danger to Ferelden, he wouldn't stay silent. He loves Ferelden every bit as much as we do." Anora replied.

He stroked his chin, "You have a fine mind, Anora."

She smiled, "Thank you Father, I've learned from the best." Anora continued, "The wild card here is Siobhan Cousland. I would like to get to know her better. Perhaps I should accompany Gareth on is trip to Highever."

Loghain thought about this then shook his head, "No, if you want get to know Siobhan, then you should arrive just _after_ Gareth's stay. If all goes well between the two of them, the she will latch on to a chance to visit with his sister."

Anora simply smiled.

~oOOo~

_16 Guardian, 29 Dragon  
_

_Dearest Gareth,_

_I hope this finds you safely back in Gwaren. With a little luck this will be the letter that welcomes you home!_

_Morning sparring sessions are just not the same without you and Fergus ganging up on me! Rory is happy to go back to the regular training regiment though. I suspect Fergus is too, as his shoulder was acting up again, though he would never admit it. What I miss the most though, is seeing you every day. Your smile and your voice are a tonic to me. _

_I feel like we could never run out of things to say. I most especially thank you for listening to my ideas and opinions. I feel that you respect and encourage them and that means so much to me. I grew up hearing my father call mother his most trusted adviser, but I also discovered, to my great disappointment, that that is an unusual trait for a man to have. In fact, I despaired of it being a trait unique to my father. I am thrilled to find that you possess it too._

_I think your ideas for Gwaren, especially about the Gwaren Alienage are wise - First bring up the quality of life for the elves in the Alienage and then work towards integrating them into all life in the Teyrnir. While the elves enjoy a much better quality of life in Highever, it pains me that they are still considered second-class subjects. Even the word "Alienage" itself has a negative sound._

_I don't know if you heard, but your sister arrived shortly after you left. It was a bit of surprise to say the least. I was worried as she hadn't said much since we announced our courtship, but she was so kind! She insisted that I call her Anora. Maker, did she have some very interesting tales about _you_! Now don't roll your eyes, they were sweet stories. You were a rascal, but a loveable one – not that I'm surprised in the slightest. We talked about being a woman of power in Ferelden. I really admire the ways she influences policy in the kingdom. She and Cailan make a good partnership._

_Speaking of King Cailan, Anora so much wants to have children; you can see it in her eyes. I wish the best for her. It was a lovely visit, for a week it was almost like having a sister. _

_I'm really looking forward to my visit to Gwaren! Thank you for extending the invitation my mother as well. She and I haven't had much time together that is just the two of us, so I look forward to the journey as well._

_Write soon._

_Yours,  
Siobhan_

~oOOo~

_3 Drakonis, 29 Dragon  
_

_My Lady,_

_Your letter did welcome me home! I was delighted to find it. Although I wonder how a letter can travel faster than I. Perhaps I should simply travel by courier._

_Tell Fergus that if he insists on over-reaching with his shield arm, his shoulder will continue to hurt. I say that with all due affection of course! He is a good man._

_I too miss your presence. After being with you, I wonder how I have tolerated the solitude of Gwaren for so long. The house seems much emptier than I remember. _

_I must say, I'm sorry that my respect for your ideas and opinions is such a unique trait. You're exceptionally intelligent and in possession of a exceptional amout of wisdom. Anyone that doesn't respect and support that is a fool. Of course given some of our young Ferelden noblemen…_

_Simply said, My Lady, you are a gem._

_I'm glad Anora was able to come to Highever. She had mentioned wanting to but had not said when. I'm glad you enjoyed her visit and that she opened up to you. I love my sister dearly, but sometimes her resemblance to my father is frightening. She is a very bright and knows much about navigating Ferelden politics. Yes, the issue of the heir is disturbing because I know that Anora has always wanted children. I can only hope that the Maker blesses them with children, sooner rather than later. _

_I must admit, however jokingly, that I haven't always been such a __sterling__ example of valor and chivalry. When I was a child I was an awful scamp. I'm just thankful Anora never drown me for some of the pranks I pulled on her! Yes, I rolled my eyes. _

_I'm glad your mother accepted the invitation. I am eager to show you both Gwaren and get to know her better as well. She and your father were exceedingly kind and welcoming during my visit and I want to return the favor in some measure. Although most of all, I long to see you again. _

_May the time fly between now and when we are reunited._

_Yours,  
Gareth_

~oOOo~

Eleanor and Siobhan arrived in Gwaren where they were surprised to be greeted by both Gareth and his Father. Later Gareth told Siobhan that his Father had _sworn_ to him that he would be on his best behavior, but felt that it was very important that he, as Teyrn be there. The visit of a Teyrna demanded no less.

They had been there for two weeks and Loghain proved to be a very cordial host. He and Gareth served as excelled escorts and tour guides. Each evening they had dinner together, at which time Siobhan would ask many questions about the history of the Teyrnir. Gareth and Loghain were both a wealth of information and Loghain told many stories of the early times of the Gwaren. Loghain, to Gareth's surprise, actually seemed to open up a bit during the visit and heard tales that his father had never shared with him. Of course, Gareth laughed to himself, the combined force of Siobhan and Eleanor was hard to resist.

During the fourth week of their stay they were treated to a surprise visit by King Cailan and Queen Anora. Loghain had been planning to escort Eleanor to the estate of a Bann Sardis who, Eleanor had discovered, cultivated a type of plum tree that she wanted to start growing in Highever. Anora and Cailan urged them to keep their plans; the trip would take a week giving the Anora and Cailan a chance to visit with Gareth and Siobhan.

The two couples got along quite well. During the day they played lawn bowl, went riding, and had picnics. During the evening, they played games and talked. Sometimes Gareth and Cailan would have drinks in the library while the ladies, embroidered.

Sitting in the library having a glass of port Cailan looked at Gareth, "I'm very pleased to see you and Siobhan getting along so well. You know your Father was very leery about this at first. But I like to think I had some hand in pushing him in the right direction." Cailan smiled knowingly

"Well I have to admit, after his chat with you he seemed much more amenable. So whatever you said, thank you" Gareth smiled, "And here I thought I would need your help with _Bryce_."

"Gareth, you know I love you like a brother?"

"Of course, as I do you."

"If she makes you happy, I would do anything in my power to help you. So, tell me, is this serious?"

Gareth couldn't stop smiling, "I believe I have fallen head over heels for Siobhan. She is simply amazing."

"Ahh, Gareth, I love the idea that young love blossomed at my Saturnalia Festival! So I assume that wedding bells will be ringing?"

"At some point in the future, I hope so, but please Cailan, don't mention anything. Unlike my asking to court Siobhan, I need to do this by the rules. It's too important."

"No worries brother. I'm so very happy for you."

They finished their drinks and rejoined the ladies.

At the end of the week, Anora and Cailan took their leave, and Loghain and Eleanor stayed an extra day with the Bann. This gave Gareth and Siobhan an evening to themselves. Gareth arranged for a candlelit picnic supper by the coast. They sat enjoying each other's company listening to the surf of the Amaranthine Ocean. The air was still warm, the sky crystal clear, and the moon full. It was a beautiful night and a beautiful setting.

As the chill started to set in they packed up their things. Gareth helped Siobhan stand up and she looked into his eyes. She had learned much about Gareth Mac Tir over the past months, but never more than by being here. "I cannot tell you how much it's meant to me seeing where you were born and seeing you in your element. You are a part of Gwaren and I can tell how much it's a part of you. Over these past months I found you to be even more amazing than I did at the Saturnalia Ball."

Gareth was silent except for his smile, the smile that made Siobhan's stomach do flips and made the blood race through her body.

Brushing a hair back from her face, he looked into her eyes and said softly his voice horse with emotion, "I love you, Siobhan."

Siobhan blushed and smiled, "and I love you."

"My Dearest Lady… may I kiss you?"

"You may," Siobhan said softly.

Gareth cupped her chin and gently lifted it, bringing his lips to hers. Then he kissed her, just the barest caress of his lips against hers. His lips were warm and gentle making Siobhan, for the first time in her life, weak in the knees.

Pulling away he looked at her and said, "Maker's Breath you're beautiful." Slowly he pulled her into his arms and held her. Enveloped in the warmth and strength of his arms Siobhan knew that she would never be complete without Gareth by her side. Together they were better than each of them were on their own.

~oOOo~

When Eleanor and Siobhan took their leave, Eleanor insisted on giving both Loghain and Gareth a hug. Siobhan added a kiss to Loghain's cheek, making him blush for probably the first time in his life. They waived goodbye and Gareth stayed watching until the carriage was well out of sight.

Later that evening Gareth knocked on door to his father's study.

"Come in"

"Da, do you have a moment?"

"I was expecting you come to see me as soon as they left."

"Pardon?"

"You are in love with Siobhan and would like to marry her, or did my eyes deceive me?"

Gareth looked down, sheepishly and ran his hand through his hair, "Yes. I mean no, your eyes did not deceive you."

"Sit down, son." Gareth motioned toward the chair.

"Da, I do love her and she loves me. I cannot imagine spending my life with anyone else."

"I have to admit, I was wrong. Siobhan and you make a very good match. She is a woman of strength and character and would be an excellent Teyrna."

Gareth felt that it would be unwise to comment on the rarity of such an admission from his father. Instead he said, "Da, what do I do now? I want to make sure that I follow the correct protocol with this. I gave Teyrn Cousland my word."

"Ah, so I take it you haven't spoken of marriage to Siobhan?"

"No Ser!"

"You are confident that she would accept your proposal?"

Gareth smiled. "Yes."

"Well, then I suggest speaking with Bryce at the Landsmeet next month. The Couslands will be there, so assuming Bryce consents you could ask her then."

"Do we both speak to the Teyrn or just me?" Gareth asked.

"Well, I suggest we both see Bryce, you can ask, and if he says yes, then he and I can discuss Bride Price and such." Loghain said matter-of-factly.

"Bride Price!" Gareth was horrified. "I am not buying Siobhan!"

"Calm down Gareth, I know you're not. The fact remains that you are the heir to a Teyrnir and she is the daughter of a Teyrn, there are arrangements that Bryce and I will need to discuss."

"Like what?"

"Like what happens to the Teyrnir if you die with no heir. Look, this is routine and for obvious reasons takes place between the father of the bride and father of the groom. Don't worry."


	8. The Union of Hearts

**AN: ** Thanks to all the reviewers! ConCrit is _completely_ welcome and encouraged as I don't yet have a beta.

This is almost the end of the back story. I have put in dates to give you a sense of where we are in the timeline. Per the Dragon Age Wiki, Cloudreach is the fourth month of the year and Haring is the 12th. For example, "1 Cloudreach" is the 1st day of the 4th month, so we open this chapter in at the start of the 4th month of 9:29 Dragon age. The in-game events start sometime during 9:30 Dragon Age _about_ one calendar year from the opening of this chapter.

Also I should warn you that this story may have spoilers for Stolen Thrown and The Calling, both are excellent books BTW.

*Last 1/3 of the chapter is NSFW, but I tried to make it more sensual than explicit. Hope I succeeded.*

I own nothing, Bioware owns all.

**Chapter 7 – The Union of Hearts**

_1 Cloudreach, 9:29 Dragon Age _

_My Dearest Love,_

_I hope your journey home was comfortable. I'm quite sure you and your mother had plenty to talk about! My father and I enjoyed having you both at Gwaren. Honestly, the Cousland women are a force of nature. I have never seen my Father full of such good will and, dare I say it, charm! You both were amazing at putting two bachelors at ease. _

_I understand from Da, that the trip to Bann Sardis' estate was fruitful, so to speak. Bann Sardis has the most amazing gardens, I would love to take you there. I was thinking of asking his advice about creating fruit orchards at the estate, what do you think? _

_It seems my Father and your Mother got along well. You know my Father, he didn't say much, but if there were problems he would have said a great deal more._

_I miss you so very much. Being with you for a whole month seems to have spoiled me rotten. I know you will be at the Landsmeet this month and I will have left for Denerim by the time you read this, so save your reply for when I can see you in person!_

_In the meantime, know this - I love you more than I thought I could ever love anyone. _

_You complete me. _

_All my love,  
Gareth_

~oOOo~

The Cousland's had settled into their apartments at the Palace, when a messenger arrived bearing an important note for Bryce. Bryce read it, quickly wrote a reply and handed it back to the messenger.

Once the messenger left, Bryce chuckled, "The boy knows how to keep a promise."

Eleanor had just come into the room, and asked, "What was that dear one?"

Bryce smiled and said, "Nothing my love, at least nothing I can talk about right now."

Eleanor looked up towards the ceiling, "Maker, the machinations of the Landsmeet start earlier each year."

Bryce smiled, kissed his wife on the forehead and went to their chambers to get ready for bed.

~oOOo~

It was shortly after breakfast the next morning and Bryce was sitting in his study. The note had been a formal request for a meeting_:_

_Ser Gareth Tynan Mac Tir of Gwaren  
and his father  
Loghain Mac Tir, Teyrn of Gwaren,  
request a meeting with His Grace, Bryce Cousland, Teyrn of Highever  
at a time that is convenient for him.  
_

Bryce's reply had been:

_I will be pleased to meet with His Grace and his son in my study two hours after dawn tomorrow morning._

Given what Eleanor had said when they returned from Gwaren, he knew exactly what the subject of the meeting would be, and thought it best to get the formalities out of the way early in the day.

_Upon their return from Gwaren, Eleanor told Bryce that Gareth had proclaimed his feelings to Siobhan, that that the feeling was mutual, and true to his word, marriage wasn't even hinted at by Gareth. Additionally, Eleanor observed that Loghain seemed very much in favor of the match as he was a cordial and warm host, and during their trip to Bann Sardis' estate he spoke very highly of Siobhan and her affect on his son._

_Bryce, of course, only cared about one thing: was Siobhan happy? The answer to that was quite apparent from the moment she stepped out of the carriage at Highever – she was glowing. Even the prospect of a Landsmeet didn't dampen her spirits._

At the appointed time, a knock sounded on the door, bringing Bryce out of his thoughts and back to the issue at hand.

"Enter" he called.

As was custom during a Landsmeet, all Teyrns, Arls and Banns were assigned administrators to help with the paperwork and meeting schedules. Bryce's administrator, Caen, entered the room and formally announced, "His Grace Loghain Mac Tir, Teyrn of Gwaren, and his son, Ser Gareth Mac Tir."

"Please show them in Caen."

Caen nodded and shortly Gareth and Loghain appeared, formally dressed. Loghain was his usual taciturn self, but Gareth looked nervous. Bryce stood and greeted them warmly "Well met Teyrn Loghain, and Ser Gareth, please have seat. May I offer you a beverage?"

Loghain and Gareth politely declined. Bryce dismissed Caen and sat down. Bryce smiled. "So gentleman, what can I do for you both?"

"Your Grace," Gareth began, his voice steady. "I come before you asking permission for your daughter's hand in marriage." Bryce was pleased to see that the seriousness of what was being asked was not lost on the young man and paused a moment before he made his reply.

"You come from an excellent family, more importantly you have shown yourself to be a man of good character. That you love my daughter is plain to see. Yes, Ser Gareth, you have my permission and my blessing to marry my daughter."

Gareth simply beamed. Loghain nudged him and he quickly regained his voice. "Thank you, Your Grace, this means so much to me. Thank you."

Bryce smiled and nodded, but his smile carried a hint of sadness, while he was happy for Siobhan, he couldn't escape the fact that his little girl would be leaving home forever.

~oOOo~

Fortunately Bryce had several meetings that day so he was able to avoid Siobhan. He met Eleanor at lunch and shared the news. She was not surprised, she was elated.

She smiled knowingly, "Oh Bryce, this is so exciting. Gareth came to our apartments shortly before lunch and asked Siobhan to have dinner with him tonight! I expect he plans on asking her then." Her expression sobered. "Did you and Loghain discuss...?"

Bryce nodded, and then said, "Given both our families' stations there is no issue of dowry. When Gareth and Siobhan are married, Loghain will step aside as Teyrn in favor of Gareth. Immediately after the wedding ceremony they will hold an investiture where Gareth and Siobhan will become the new Teyrn and Teyrna of Gwaren."

Eleanor's eyes widened. "Loghain is stepping aside?"

"Yes, I believe he's taking some kind of formal advisory position for the Crown. But that will be announced at the Landsmeet this week. Landsmeet business will also include the change of Teyrn and, of course, the announcement of Siobhan and Gareth's engagement." Bryce then quipped, "Unless Siobhan refuses him."

Eleanor laughed, "That's about a likely to happen as the palace being made of cheese. I have to say, I am thrilled for Siobhan and Gareth. I have really taken a shine to that young man."

Bryce continued, "The other agreement was that in the unlikely event Gareth passes without an heir, the Teyrnir would revert back to Loghain, if he is still living, or to the Crown if he isn't."

Eleanor dismissed this information with a wave of her hand. "That's standard. If we were in Loghain's position we would have requested the same."

~oOOo~

As the sun slipped below the horizon, Gareth came for Siobhan. She had been eager to see him all day. Their visit before lunch had been far too brief as Gareth said he had many things to attend to during the day in order to be hers for the evening.

He stood in the doorway wearing a royal-blue velvet doublet, trimmed in gold, his hair smoothed back in a neat queue. Siobhan wore an emerald gown trimmed in gold that enhanced the midnight blue of her eyes, the cognac color of her hair, and the cream color of her skin. Her hair was plaited down her back, and adorned with small, white, star-shaped flowers.

"You look beautiful," Siobhan said.

"My Lady you took the words right out of my mouth." Gareth smiled and kissed her hand, then offered his arm, which Siobhan took as they left the apartments.

"So, where are we having supper?" Siobhan asked.

"If you could have a candlelit dinner anywhere in the palace, where would you choose?"

"It would depend upon with whom I was dining." Siobhan slyly smiled.

"My Lady, you wound me to the quick!" Gareth said jokingly.

"Then may I assume that you would be my dinner companion?"

"Of course!"

Siobhan looked at Gareth and said, "The East Garden."

Gareth smiled. "By happy coincidence that is precisely where we're going."

Gareth ushered her into the garden which was covered in small candles that twinkled in the twilight. By the rose bushes stood a table set for two. Gareth seated Siobhan and then sat across from her. Dinner was already laid out on the table and there were no servants present.

"How did you manage all of this?" Siobhan asked.

Gareth just smiled, "It's a secret, my Lady."

Siobhan arched an eyebrow and smiled.

Gareth raised his glass in a toast, "To the joy that you have brought into my life." Siobhan blushed and they clinked glassed.

Throughout dinner they talked, catching up on the news and the inevitable rumors swirling around this year's Landsmeet. Once dinner was finished, Gareth stood up and helped Siobhan out of her seat, without a word he led her along a garden path, at the end of which stood a majestic tree.

Siobhan's eyes went wide. "A _Vhenadahl,_ here?"

Gareth nodded. "After his trip to the Deep Roads, King Maric requested that the elves plant it here. It's was a sapling from the one in the Denerim Alienage. Maric said that it would serve as a symbol of unity between the elves and the humans."

Siobhan looked at the tree in awe. "It's beautiful."

"So are you, My Lady," Gareth said as he looked into her eyes. After a few moments he knelt before her.

For a moment Siobhan thought he had dropped something, then he took her hand. She was transfixed and whispered, "Gareth?"

"Siobhan Cousland, will you do me the honor of marrying me?"

Tears of joy spilled out of Siobhan's eyes, "Yes, Gareth Mac Tir, I will."

Gareth slipped a beautiful gold and sapphire ring onto her finger and kissed her hand. Rising to his feet, his eyes bright with tears, he pulled her into his arms, kissing her with all of the emotion he felt. They pulled apart breathless.

Siobhan said, "I love you Gareth and this was a beautiful evening."

"My Dearest Lady, we will have many more beautiful evenings together."

"Indeed we will."

~oOOo~

Cailan thought the Landsmeet was quite a successful - the alliance of two powerful houses was announced and for once the Bannorn was unanimous in its praise and cheered loudly. Gareth's popularity in the Bannorn had soared since last Saturnalia, so the news about Loghain stepping aside as Teyrn once Gareth and Siobhan wed, was also well-taken. There were some rumblings about Loghain's future appointment as Military Advisor, but they were mostly from those in the Bannorn who are loyal to Bryce Cousland but they were _so_ thrilled about Siobhan and Gareth's engagement that nothing further came of it.

Cailan and Anora were insistent on hosting the wedding. It was decided it would be at the palace during the upcoming Saturnalia festival six months hence. The investiture would follow the ceremony and the new Teyrn and Teyrna would be the guests of honor at the Tournament.

Anora admonished them both with a smile, "And no sneaking into the Tournament!"

~oOOo~

On the 15th day of Haring, 9:29 Dragon Age, Siobhan Kellan Cousland became Siobhan Kellan Mac Tir, Teyrna of Gwaren in a wedding and investiture that was everything Gareth and Siobhan weren't - formal and full of pomp and pageantry. However, it wouldn't be the grandeur of the events themselves that would be remembered. What would be long-remembered by all in attendance was Siobhan's luminous smile as she walked towards her husband-to-be, the look of pure joy and happiness on Gareth's face as Bryce gave him Siobhan's hand, the raw emotion present in both voices as they recited their vows, and the searing kiss Gareth gave Siobhan as they were pronounced husband and wife.

The wedding feast was sumptuous, and here Siobhan and Gareth's touch was quite evident. In consideration of her Father-in-law, Siobhan made sure there were no Orlesian dishes on the menu. Gareth wanted to feature the best of the Bannorn as well as specialties from both Highever and Gwaren. The guests noticed this and members of the Bannorn were puffed up with pride.

During the feast Siobhan began thinking about the wedding night. She glanced at Gareth, who looked resplendent in his white and gold wedding doublet, and started to think about the feel of his skin against hers, his hands on her body….

Shaking her head slightly she brought herself out of her daydream. Surprised at her unruly thoughts she blushed. Gareth caught her expression and whispered in her ear, "Your blush is very appealing my dearest, but we still have dessert to get through."

This made Siobhan blush even harder, and they both laughed.

Their wedding night would be spent in their own apartments, which Siobhan noted earlier were big enough for both the Mac Tirs and the Couslands. Gareth had held her in his arms and said, "It will seem quite small once we have one or two children."

Siobhan smiled, "Or three or four."

Gareth replied, "Or six or seven."

Siobhan replied, "We'll certainly have fun making them My Lord."

"Cheeky wench!" Gareth laughed and pulled Siobhan into his arms.

~oOOo~

When they arrived in their rooms after the wedding dinner, Gareth used the other bath area to give Siobhan time and privacy. He washed up and he now stood in the bedroom looking out the window at the moonless night. He wore a royal blue linen tunic and loose-fitting trousers. His shoulder-length hair was down and still damp from his bath.

After a few minutes he felt Siobhan's presence behind him. Turning around, the vision before him took his breath away. She stood before him in a floor-length pale blue silk nightgown that flowed over her curves like water and made her dark eyes seem like calm pools. Her hair gleamed in the light of the fireplace, and flowed in gentle waves down the length of her back.

"You are breathtaking, my wife." Gareth smiled.

"So are you, my husband." Siobhan returned the smile, a hint of shyness in her eyes.

Gareth closed the distance between them and pulled her into his arms; holding her gently against him, he felt her tremble. As he expected, she was nervous. He lifted her face to his. "My Dearest Lady, may I kiss you?"

Remembering their first kiss, she smiled and nodded, "You may." Gareth leaned in and like the very first time, it was the barest caress of his lips against hers. Siobhan let out a soft moan as Gareth deepened the kiss holding her to him. She slipped her arms around his back, her lips parted and their kiss became a gentle dance of tongues. Gareth's mouth traveled to her ear, using his mouth to kiss and caress.

His hand traveled up, gently massaging her side as his lips began to kiss the place were her neck and shoulder met. Siobhan's body responded to his touch, clutching his back, and moaning softly. Then she pulled away slightly. "May I remove your shirt?" she asked hesitantly.

Gareth chuckled, "My darling, you may do whatever you wish."

She unlaced the top of his shirt and pulled it off. His chest and shoulders were broad and he had the musculature of a warrior. Her hands slowly traveled from his shoulders and moved over his chest. She used her fingers and her fingernails to lightly touch and stroke his tanned skin. A small sigh escaped Gareth's lips. Emboldened, Siobhan started to kiss everywhere her fingers traveled.

Gareth's hand moved up to gently cup her breast, his thumb lightly brushing the tip. At this Siobhan's knees buckled and Gareth tightened the arm around her waist, kissing her deeply. Siobhan couldn't think, she could only feel. She held on to Gareth as her body arched into him and she moaned.

Gareth continued to caress her breast thought the silk of her nightgown, his lips moving up her neck, leaving a trail of fire in their wake.

Pulling away, he looked at Siobhan. "May I remove your nightgown, Love? I want to feel your skin against mine; I want to see all of you."

Siobhan bit her lip and nodded.

"Are you scared?" Gareth asked

"Kind of. I know it's silly." Siobhan whispered.

Gareth replied softly, "It's not silly at all. Just know that I love you with all my heart and that I look at your body as a precious gift that you are sharing with me." Siobhan smiled, Gareth slowly unlaced back of the gown.

Feeling more secure, Siobhan stepped back and gracefully pulled the gown off her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor in a whisper. Gareth was struck by how perfect her body looked; muscled and curvaceous, she was indeed a goddess, _his_ goddess. Siobhan walked back into his arms and he held her close, the heat from his body mixed with the heat from hers exciting them both to a fever pitch. Siobhan felt his arousal hard against her leg. She looked up at Gareth, gently pulling on the waist of his trousers. "May I?"

"Of course" he said. The deep richness of his voice spread warmth all the way to her nether region. She untied the drawstring of the trousers and they too fell to the floor. Siobhan couldn't stop the gasp that escaped her mouth when she saw his more than generous endowment. She looked up at Gareth and saw tenderness and need in his eyes. He picked her up and carried her to the bed laying her down on the soft bedding.

From there it became a symphony of hands and lips as they explored each other. Gareth, taking the lead, trailed kisses up the inside of her thigh, his tongue then teased her navel then moved up her body as his hands massaged her breasts. When his lips enveloped a nipple Siobhan moans began in earnest. Gareth worshiped her breasts with his hands and mouth. Siobhan's breaths were irregular, interrupted by moans and sighs.

Gareth knew she was untouched and wanted to make her first time hurt as little as possible. Slowly and gently he moved his hand to her nether region, gently stroking her folds.

"Oh Maker! Gareth!" Siobhan cried as she arched her back almost bucking him off of her. He kissed her as his hands moved in small circles, slowly using his fingers to bring her over the edge for the first time. When she had calmed down a bit, Gareth continued to kiss and explore her body. As his mouth got closer to her strawberry blond curls below, Siobhan gasped, "Gareth! What…what are you doing?"

Gareth gazed up at her, his eyes were dark with desire, and he smiled, "Relax my love, remember I want to see _all_ of you." As his mouth and tongue found her pearl, Siobhan began to shudder and moan, within a few moments he brought her over the edge again. Gareth wiped his mouth a bit then moved over Siobhan to kiss her, and at the same time he moved his fingers inside of her, first one, then two, then three, gently moving in and out.

Siobhan was out of her mind with pleasure. Catching her breath she said, "Gareth, I want you so much."

"Are you sure? "

She nodded.

Gareth smiled, held her gaze with his own and he whispered, "I have waited my whole life for a moment like this." And with that he slowly slid inside her warm depths. As he broke her maidenhead Siobhan let out a yelp of pain but the look in her eyes told him to continue. Using every ounce of control he had he left, he stilled himself to let her get used to his size and length. His eyes posed the question and Siobhan nodded. He began to slide in and out in a slow irresistible rhythm that Siobhan began to match, faster and faster they moved together, their eyes never leaving the each others. Siobhan began to go over the edge for the third time that night, only this time Gareth joined her, kissing her as they rode out their pleasure, together.

Laying there wrapped in each other's arms, Siobhan whispered, "We complete each other. I cannot imagine a life without you."

Gareth, smoothed back her tousled hair and said, "I cannot imagine a life without you either." Smiling, he said, "So let's agree to never to be apart."

"Agreed."


	9. Changing of the guard

Chapter 8 – Changing of the guard.

_25__th__ Guardian, 9:30 Dragon Age_

_Dear Mother and Father (and yes, you too Fergus, now give them back the letter!)_

_We are happily in Gwaren. Taking a ship from Denerim was certainly faster than going over land, plus the sea is so captivating (and romantic). Captain Dylan, who is from Gwaren, told Gareth that he was "proud that our Teyrna is a natural sailor with a love of the sea." At least I have impressed one of our people._

_Thank you so much for making sure that Caradog arrived safely. I really missed him. He is already quite popular with the house staff, which puzzles him given his relationship with Nan. With Caradog in residence and our things already set- up coming here felt much more like coming home. _

_Before I go on, Mother I would be remiss if I didn't apologize for all the times that I got impatient with you. The job of maintaining an estate like this is taking up __all__ of my time! So for the record – I'm sorry. _

_A week after we arrived I employed an Assistant Seneschal, Arianrhod Ferch Blayney, to work with me and to assist Seneschal Rhodrim. Judging by the amount of correspondence alone, my Father-in-law nearly worked Rhodrim into an early grave. As Gareth and I plan to take a more hands-on approach to running the Teyrnir (sound familiar Father?) and we will be in Gwaren full-time, it seemed grossly unfair to add the additional burden on Rhodrim. He was almost delirious in his relief when I suggested to Gareth that we employ an assistant seneschal. _

_Assistant Seneschal Ferch Blayney (as she prefers to be called) is very formal, but very kind, and she is a wonder! She and Rhodrim get along quite well and at least that part of life is starting to work like a well-oiled machine._

_The estate itself, well…frankly it needs a woman's touch (no comment Fergus!). There is so much Gwaren and Ferelden history within these walls, it needs to be seen, not hidden under a dusty sheet in a dark room._

_Loghain, I'm still not sure how he wants me to refer to him, is arriving in a month to discuss the readiness of the Gwaren army. Father, I imagine that he will be visiting Highever soon as well. As Military Chancellor he has been reviewing, as stated in his recent missive: "Ferelden's readiness to secure her boarders from those who wish us harm." Gareth and I both found that statement alarmingly vague. With Ser Cauthrien stationed in Denerim, Gareth needed to choose her replacement and didn't agree with Cauthrien and Loghain's choice. Gareth and I train with the core army leadership in the mornings and they are good men and women, but Gareth and I both feel that we needed to make some changes. While I would hope that won't present an issue, I have a very bad feeling about this visit._

_I also worry about Loghain as his correspondences with Gareth are becoming increasingly…odd. I don't know how else, either directly or as a scapegoat. _

_I will write more soon. Tell Orin that when he comes to visit us in Gwaren during Justinian, I will take him on Captain Dylan's boat, and that the Captain has promised to show Orin how to steer!_

_My love to you both and please give my love to Oriana, Orin and Fergus (if by some chance he hasn't been reading this over your shoulder). _

_I miss you very much._

_All my love,  
Siobhan_

DA:O

Rendon Howe went to his study to meet with Loghain, who had being reviewing the readiness of Amaranthine's army. During the inspection his men had performed well and Loghain hadn't indicated a problem, so Howe was actually looking forward to high praise for his Arling's military might.

Then he walked into his study.

Sitting at Howe's desk, with several pieces of parchment laid out before him, was the Military Chancellor of Ferelden, Loghain Mac Tir. He sat there, his mouth set in a firm line, his eyes flinty. Loghain silently motioned for Rendon to sit down.

_Seated at my desk!__ How dare he! _Trying to control his anger, Rendon began, "Good afternoon, Chancellor Loghain"

Loghain merely nodded and without preamble asked, "Arl Howe, would you be so kind as to explain how exactly you are able to spend money like a king, and keep Bann Esmerelle is the matter to which she is accustomed, but choose not to invest in your army?" Loghain's tone was bland.

Howe's anger flared, "How dare you! What right do you have in questioning how I run my Arling?"

Loghain's tone remained even. "It becomes my right when I discover that your army's ill-outfitted and I question Seneschal Varel as to why. Varel is a good Seneschal. He does an excellent job in making money for the Arling, but when I hear that his requests for army funding have been repeatedly reduced or rejected, I have to ask, 'Exactly how are Arling funds being spent?' Imagine my surprise when my investigation turned up this."

Loghain leaned over the desk and held out a charred document for Rendon to see, "Why you are sending large sums of money to an Orlesian bard?"

Howe blanched slightly, but recovered quickly and said, "You are mistaken Chancellor. Marjolaine is a well-respected businesswoman in Orlais. She deals in certain…artifacts and I wanted information on any Ferelden items that may have been stolen, or otherwise lost to Orlais, during the occupation."

"I'm not stupid Rendon! Given the size of these payments I would expect to see the Urn of Sacred ashes turn up. No, Arl Howe, payments of this size are either to buy important information or someone's silence. Which is it?"

Rendon simply stared the floor. Beads of sweat dotted his forehead and upper lip.

"ANSWER ME!"

Rendon startled, looking up at Loghain, "Both," he said, his tone a combination of anger and defeat. "At first I hired her to find out information on the Ferelden nobles that traveled in and out of Orlais. Her information has been detailed and quite interesting, but recently she threatened to expose the operation unless I increased my payments. At first I thought she was crazy, as that would just expose her as well, but apparently she's found someone who could take the fall on her behalf, so I had no choice but to pay for her silence."

Loghain had already learned as much, but wanted to pressure Howe into admitting his actions. Rendon was a power-hungry bastard, but he had his uses, like any tool when applied to the correct task. Sometimes however, the tool needed to be broken in.

Loghain sat down and looked at Howe, "Well Rendon, where do you suggest we go from here?"

"Pardon me?"

"Tell me of the information you obtained from the Orlesian?"

DA:O

Loghain's arrival in Gwaren was delayed by two weeks. As soon as he entered the estate, he noticed the changes. Gone were the heavy draperies that had darkened every room. They were replaced by lighter more elegant ones that both kept the salt-air at bay and let through much needed sunlight. Displayed in all the public rooms were treasures from Loghain's and Gareth's travels. The décor reflected the history of both the Teyrnir and Ferelden.

Gareth and Siobhan had finished taking Loghain on a "tour," after which Loghain said, "It's nice to see that neither of you have adopted the Orlesian trappings that have been cropping up in Denerim. These rooms remind people of who they are and where they come from."

Gareth and Siobhan smiled but were concerned, while his words were positive, Loghain's tone held an undercurrent of anger. At what, or with whom, his anger was directed was not obvious, at least not yet

Loghain immediately wanted to meet with Gareth to discuss the review of the military situation in Gwaren, which was the reason for his visit. Gareth led his father into the study along with Siobhan. Loghain raised an eyebrow and said, "This isn't a family matter, it is a matter between the Crown and Teyrnir"

"As I am Teyrn and Siobhan is Teyrna, then you will be talking to the right people." Gareth's tone was light, but with a distinct note of challenge.

Loghain face set in its usual unreadable mask as he said, "Very well."

Once they were all seated, Loghain began, "I have launched a full investigation into the readiness of Ferelden's military forces. As this has never been done before; it seemed a logical first step."

Gareth and Siobhan nodded.

"Naturally this has ruffled the feathers of some in the Bannorn, but I won't compromise Ferelden's defenses because some Bann has his smalls in a knot. His Majesty, surprisingly, has been very supportive of this plan."

"I know you think Cailan has his head in the clouds sometimes, but he really understands the need for a strong Ferelden." He saw his father's eyebrow arch. "He asked you to be the Chancellor of the Military, he must recognize that your talents are needed there."

"Save the flattery for the Tournament field" Loghain growled.

Gareth let it lie. "So Father, you are here to asses Gwaren's readiness?"

"I had thought that this was the one place I wouldn't have to review, but after you refused to appoint the Ser Conobar over Ser Cauthrien's and my express recommendation, I had no choice."

Siobhan saw the warning glint in Gareth's eyes and asked, "What will you need us to do?"

"I want the army mustered by dawn tomorrow, fully outfitted and ready for inspection. After my inspection, I want them to run through these drills." Loghain handed a list to Gareth.

Gareth reviewed the list. "My choice for the head of my Teyrnir's army has not compromised its ability to turn out as requested. Given the hour, excuse me while I send the orders." Gareth bowed slightly and strode out from the room.

Siobhan caught her Father-in-Law's expression as Gareth left: a mixture of pride and anger flashed across his face.

In a soft voice Siobhan asked, "My Lord Chancellor, why are you treating Gareth in such a fashion? What has happened to anger you so?"

Loghain looked at Siobhan, his brows narrowed. "It is my duty to Ferelden that pushes me to make harsh demands. I will not molly-coddle a Teyrn because he is my son."

Siobhan arched an eyebrow. "So I am to believe that you have treated everyone else you've inspected in such an insulting fashion?"

"I beg your pardon, Madame?"

Concern in her voice, Siobhan pushed. "This has nothing to do with our army's readiness. It stands as ready as the day you stepped aside as Teyrn, and I refuse to believe that you have that little regard for your son's ability to make sound decisions. Is it me? Have I done something to earn your ire?"

At that moment, Gareth returned, he had heard the end of Siobhan's statement and looked at his father, "Da, what is it?"

Loghain stood up, his anger now plain to see. "My confidence in my son is not for you to question, Madame. I am here on the business of the Crown to assess threats to Ferelden. I will do whatever is necessary to root out such dangers regardless from where they rise!"

Fearless, Siobhan stood facing her Father-in-law, and snapped, "If you think that our Teyrnir harbors dangers to Ferelden or if you think either Gareth or I do, then you are either paranoid or insane."

"Madame, you forget to whom you are speaking."

"As have you, My Lord Chancellor. I am no Madame; I am Teyrna of Gwaren and if you are here on the Crown's business, you will address me as Your Grace or Teyrna Mac Tir!"

Gareth put a hand on his wife's shoulder and gently squeezed it. Siobhan understood. "Please excuse me, I must meet with our Seneschal about a few important matters." With her head held high, she turned her back on her Father-in-law and walked out of the room.

"Father, please sit down, please. It's just you and me. What in the Maker's name is going on?"

Loghain sat heavily. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he sighed and then looked at his son, "I am alarmed at the number of trips your Father-in-law has been making to Orlais. Are you aware that he has been there ten times in the last four years? That his trips have been typically on his own, or with Eamon Guerrin?"

Well then, let me help set your mind at ease Da, as we have discussed this once before. I know about the trips to Orlais, that Bryce has gone with Eamon is no real surprise. These have been diplomatic trips, speaking with other like-minded nobles who seek to create a safer and more stable relationship with Orlais through trade."

"You do realize how these trips look?" Loghain said

Gareth regarded his father coolly, "How they look is irrelevant. Do you have any evidence that these trips are anything other than what Bryce has said?"

Loghain eyed his son. "I have a contact that may have such evidence."

"I suggest that you investigate the contact before believing any 'evidence' he or she may have against Bryce Cousland. A Landsmeet won't accept anything less."

"You seek to instruct me on the ways of Court?"

"No Father I seek to remind you that blind spots exist where you least expect them. Now, if you are finished trying to accuse my wife's father, Teyrn of Highever, of treason, I suggest we get to the root of this. You act like a man seeing demons in the shadows, what has happened in Denerim?"

Loghain's face started to show his age, "Anora fears being put aside. Cailan has been spending a lot of time away from the Castle. Many times he is with his Uncle in Redcliffe, but other times…"

"Father, you and I both know the realities of royal life. The Queen's primary duty is to produce an heir, it may be unfortunate, but it is the way of things, especially in Ferelden. Anora knows this." Gareth paused and shook his head. "How she could have expected to remain Queen without the security of an heir in her arms is beyond me."

"She is your Queen and your sister. I would expect more understanding and sympathy from you." Loghain reminded his son.

"I do understand Father, very well in fact, which is why my sympathy is all that it is. I used to believe she truly loved Cailan, that they were a good match. Now I believe that she looks at Cailan like some sort of lame appendage that she is all too willing to shed."

"And you base this on what evidence." Loghain sneered

"Oh I don't know, perhaps it's the condescending tone she adopts when talking about, and to Cailan. She forgets that while I'm her brother, I'm also Teyrn and a close friend of the King. Cailan has mentioned it to me on more than one occasion."

"So your loyalty is to Cailan, someone who will lead this country back into bondage if left to his own devices?"

"My loyalty is unquestionable; it is and remains to Ferelden and it's rightful King. Perhaps if Cailan were married to a woman and not a power-hungry ice-queen he would be a stronger King! I love my sister, but right now, she is the true danger to Ferelden."

"ENOUGH!" Loghain shouted.

Gareth stood toe to toe with his Father. "NO! We are in my house, I am Teyrn and you will listen to me! My sister has you wrapped around her finger in a way I never could. To you she will always be 6 years old with pigtails and skinned knees. Just be very sure of what you are doing before you fight her battles."

A knock sounded at the door.

"Enter!" Gareth and Loghain said in unison.

Seneschal Rhodrim came into the room and said, "The hour is late Your Grace, would you like me to show Chancellor Loghain to the guest quarters?"

"Thank you Rhodrim, we are finishing up here here," Gareth said then turned to his Father. "I will see you in the morning Father. Given the early hour of tomorrow's activities, I will retire for the evening. Good night." Gareth turned and left the room, leaving Loghain with his former Seneschal.

After a moment, Rhodrim cleared his throat. "If I may be so bold My Lord, your son is a formidable Teyrn."

Loghain looked a Rhodrim with affection; he had become Seneschal just after Gareth was born. In voice that held both sorrow and pride, he said simply, "He is indeed."


	10. Calm before the storm

**AN: ** Happy New Year! This is a short update but important as it sets the stage. I will probably move to a 2/week update schedule now that the holidays are over. Right now I am thinking of Mondays and Fridays.

**Many, many thanks** to _Shakespira, Brass Camera, A Forgotten Fairy. .AKA- Fairy, Eva Galana, VoiDreamer, AHewlett, Superstar Kid, _and_ Grannaah_ for your reviews. They are real motivators!

Bioware owns all. I own nothing.

**Chapter 9 – Calm before the storm**

It was close to midnight a few days after Loghain's departure. Siobhan was lying in Gareth's arms with her head on his chest, her hands gently playing with his chest hair.

Gareth, kissing the top of her head, murmured, "Can we just stay like this forever?"

"Mmmm, you have my vote. Although in about 9 months the baby will have his or her own ideas."

Gareth hugged Siobhan tighter, "I wish we had known about the baby a few days earlier, perhaps Father would have been less obnoxious knowing you were carrying his grandchild."

"I don't think _anything_ would have improved his mood" Siobhan sighed. While the rest of Loghain's visit hadn't been _as_ contentious as the first day, it was still a tension-filled three weeks of watching Gareth and his Father clash over the running of Gwaren. "I was so proud of how you stood up to your Father, I know it wasn't easy. He was proud of you too."

Siobhan felt Gareth's chuckle rumble through his chest, "How could you tell? I swear his face is more stone-like each time I see him."

"I could see it in his eyes. He let his guard down when he thought no one else looking." Siobhan snuggled closer, "To change the subject a bit, I was thinking we could travel to Highever next month then return with Oren, Oriana and Fergus for their visit?"

"Wouldn't that too much travel for you?"

"Hardly! Oriana traveled to and from Orlais quite a lot when she was pregnant, and according to Father, mother insisted on traveling with him when she was pregnant with Fergus. We Cousland woman are quite tough."

Gareth turned to face Siobhan and smiled, "Alright. I know you want to tell them about the baby _in person_. You can't blame me for being cautious though," placing his hand gently on Siobhan's stomach, "you and the baby are everything to me."

Siobhan caressed his face, "I love you"

"And I love you."

DA:O

Loghain arrived at the Palace late in the afternoon. Tired from his Gwaren trip he wanted nothing more than a bath and a hot meal. No sooner had he closed the door to his chambers when he received a message that the Queen required his immediate presence in the family quarters. Frowning, Loghain turned around and headed back out of his room.

When he reached Anora's room, he entered to find Rendon Howe sitting in a chair, looking oddly smug and his daughter pacing the floor.

"Anora?"

Turning to her father, she said crisply, "Cailan is in Orlais."

"_Orlais_? When did he leave? Did he say why?"

Anora just looked at Loghain who crossed the room to his daughter, "Anora, did he say _anything_?"

She simply shook her head and looked at Rendon.

Howe looked up at Loghain, "Sire, his Majesty left just after you went to Gwaren. He traveled with Bryce Cousland and Eamon Guerin."

Loghain looked at Howe and growled, "Find out everything you can and report back to me as soon as possible."

Howe nodded smiling, "Of _course_ sire," bowing to the Queen he left the room.

Anora slowly turned from the window, her expression cool and collected, looking at her father she said, "I hope this visit is simply to sew his _royal_ wild oats."

"You _condone_ his infidelity?"

Before Anora could answer, there was a knock at the door.

"Please enter." Anora said.

The valet entered and said, "Your Majesty, the Commander of the Grey in Ferelden has arrived and asked for an audience. He says it's urgent."


	11. Warnings long ignored

**AN: **Thanks again for the reviews. They mean a lot. Thanks to Shakespira especially for her encouragement.

Some minor edits! **Also big spoiler warning for Stolen Throne and the Calling.**

**Chapter 10 – Warnings long ignored**

"Tell the Commander that My Chancellor of the Military and I will receive him in the Audience Chamber in 10 minutes."

The Valet bowed and left. Once the door closed, Anora looked at her father, "Condone his infidelity, in the sense of overlooking it? Yes, I do. Approve of it? No. However, he is the _King_." She said lightly.

"He is only the _king_ because he was the first legitimate child to spring forth from Maric's loins" Loghain sneered.

Anora answered coolly, "By might or by birthright is irrelevant, he is still King of Ferelden. Now, we need to see what the Commander of the Grey thinks is so urgent."

"I will be along in a moment Anora," Loghain answered.

She nodded and left the room.

Loghain waited until Anora was out of ear-shot before he walked up to the portrait of Cailan. It had been commissioned just after his coronation. The artist had managed to catch the grief still present in Cailan's eyes. Eyes that were so much like Rowan's. Loghain spat at the floor beneath the painting, and said "You are a disgrace to your mother's memory and I will not let you endanger the country for which she sacrificed _everything_ to free." He turned sharply and walked out of the room to join Anora.

Rendon Howe slipped back into the shadows of the hall and smiled.

* * *

Waiting in Royal Audience Chamber stood the Commander of the Ferelden Grey, known only by the name of Duncan. He was a tall, powerfully-built man, with sable-colored hair. His swarthy features and graying temples marked him as man of mature years. His eyes marked him as a man of vast experience. They were eyes that had seen many battles and endured much sorrow, yet still carried an unquenchable fire.

Duncan turned as the Queen was announced, bowing as she entered the room. His was a formidable presence and Anora felt that presence as soon as his eyes met hers. She thought warily, _He is not some weak-minded noble that I can easily put down. _ Anora said nothing; she motioned him to approach the throne. She took her time sitting down and smoothing her skirts. Loghain entered and she bade him to stand below the throne near Duncan leaving Anora positioned _above_ both men.

When she was ready she fixed her cold blue eyes on Duncan and said, "Commander Duncan, what business do you find urgent enough to disrupt my evening?"

Duncan cleared his throat, "Your Majesty, I have just arrived in Denerim and I bring news of an increase in Darkspawn activity in the Kocari Wilds."

Anora arched a delicate eyebrow, "Darkspawn activity in the Kocari Wilds is hardly unusual."

"In this case Your Majesty reports from the Wilds indicate that several Chasind tribes are moving north and that they are moving _from_ something. Signs indicate that it is the increase in darkspawn activity that is driving the Chasind away from their villages. That _is_ unusual."

Anora said blandly, "What kind of signs?"

"As Grey Wardens we…sense darkspawn, we have also battled the darkspawn in the wilds."

"Commander you said this was urgent. The Wilders have long since ceased to be a _Ferelden_ concern."

Duncan tried to hide his irritation, "Your Majesty an increase in darkspawn activity large enough to force wilder folk to move north may be a harbinger of a Blight. If that's the case, the sooner we can end it, the better. That is why I believe this is urgent."

Anora simply looked at Duncan, and then looked at Loghain, "Chancellor, what is your assessment?"

Turning to Duncan, "A blight? After four centuries? Aren't you being a bit alarmist?"

"Your Majesty, Lord Chancellor, Grey Wardens are sworn and trained to stand vigilant against the darkspawn, I would hardly call _preventing_ a blight being alarmist"

Anora's eyes flashed anger at Duncan, "Remember your place Commander."

Duncan lowered his eyes, "I apologize for my tone your Majesty."

_But not for your words, _Anora thought. "What course of action _do _you recommend?" She said sharply.

"Your Majesty, I recommend sending several armies to Ostagar. That would be the best place from which to scout and then to draw out and attack the horde."

Anora stood up looking down at Duncan, "And what do I say to the Bannorn when they see armies marching through their lands? If word gets out about a _possible_ blight, we may send half of Ferelden into a panic. I _will not_ allow that."

"Your Majesty…" Duncan began.

Holding up her hand Anora continued, "Here is what _I_ suggest - go to Gwaren. I will request that Teyrn Mac Tir send out a detachment of troops to assist you in scouting the wilds. If you do find the horde _and_ determine where it is headed, then we can form an _appropriate_ military response."

Loghain added, "A wise suggestion, your Majesty."

Duncan looked from Loghain to Anora, from father to daughter, his anger simmered below the surface. He marshaled his emotions and said, "Very well your Majesty, I thank you for your time and consideration of this matter. I will send a report from Gwaren as soon as possible." Pausing for a moment, he continued, "May I also request permission to recruit during my journey to Gwaren? Our numbers in Ferelden are still too few."

"Of _course_ you may Commander; Ferelden mustn't suffer from a lack of Wardens. I will have the orders for Teyrn Mac Tir ready for you tomorrow. Thank you for bringing this matter to our attention." Anora then left the room.

Loghain looked at Duncan, "This smells like an _Orlesian_ ploy. If our armies are focused on a manufactured threat in _southern _Ferelden, we risk leaving the rest of the country vulnerable."

"I assure you My Lord that the Grey Wardens are politically neutral. We are here to defeat the darkspawn, nothing more."

"_Really_?" Loghain remarked, his tone dripping with sarcasm, "I'm sure King Arland's ghost would disagree." Without waiting for Duncan's reply he turned and left the chamber.

Duncan sighed, _Sophia Dryden_, decisions from centuries ago are still affecting the reputation of the Grey.

**

* * *

**

_12__th__ Bloomingtide, 9:30 Dragon Age_

_Dearest Siobhan,_

_Your father has returned from his recent trip to Orlais and we are both thrilled that you and Gareth will be coming to Highever for a visit! I think the idea of your coming here and then accompanying Fergus and his family back to Gwaren is perfect. I know Oriana and Fergus are looking forward to a good long visit. _

_Within a few days of your father's return, we had a visit from Arl and Arlessa Howe. Apparently Chancellor Loghain deputized the Arl to carry out his inspections of Highever. The meeting was very amiable, and the Arl was going to give Chancellor Loghain a "glowing report." I have to admit a certain sense of relief._

_I'm very impressed with your quick decision to hire an assistant Seneschal. I recall Seneschal Rhodrim looking like a man being buried by too much work and I can imagine his relief at your suggestion. Well done dear! As for the estate, yes a woman's touch is exactly what is needed. The first thing I would do is get rid of those horrid dark drapes!_

_I would write more, but I have been asked to reserve some space for a note from your father. _

_Orin asked that I enclose his drawing of him at the helm of a ship (I think he is looking forward to his visit with Captain Dylan.) _

_All my love,_

ccccccccc

_Mother_

_Pup, _

_I didn't want to worry your mother with this, which is why I am adding this note and personally sending out this letter._

_I found the Arl's visit to be very disturbing. After the experience you recounted about Loghain's inspection of Gwaren, I dreaded his visit to Highever. I was floored when Rendon simply showed up, unannounced, carrying a letter from Loghain delegating the inspection to him. As your mother reported, Rendon __said__ he was pleased but I have known Rendon for years and something was different about him. I felt uncomfortable, but don't know why. I'm not even sure why I'm sending you this note other than to tell you and Gareth to be cautious around Rendon, if you encounter him at all. I'm sorry if this is vague. Chalk it up to a father's intuition._

_I look forward to you both coming to Highever. It isn't the same without you and Oriana double-teaming Fergus. He has become entirely too comfortable!_

_Love to you both,_

_Father_

**

* * *

**

Duncan did not want to simply show up in Gwaren unannounced, so a week ahead of his arrival he sent a letter along with the orders from the Queen.

Reading this correspondence during breakfast, Gareth asked Siobhan, "Did you find Anora's orders to be a bit…condescending?"

"If by condescending, you mean snotty? Yes." Siobhan frowned.

Gareth chuckled, "Indeed. 'Snotty' _is _a better term for the childishness of her behavior. I truly think that the only reason she is down-playing this threat is because it's a situation that she feels ill-prepared to handle on her own. By sending him to me, she simply postponed dealing with it at all. I'm just relieved that Cailan is back in Denerim, perhaps he will take more decisive action."

"But shouldn't your Father be taking this more seriously?"

"He has _never_ trusted the Grey Wardens. Perhaps if anyone other than their order had made this discovery he _might_ have given it more credit. In fact, I would bet he believes this to be an Orlesian plot."

"Maybe we should cancel our trip to Highever." Siobhan said.

Gareth took her hand, "Let's wait until Duncan arrives and we have a better sense of what's going on. Then we can decide if we need to change our plans."

* * *

Duncan and several of his Grey Wardens, including some recent recruits arrived safely in Gwaren. Unlike his reception at Denerim, Gareth and Siobhan were warm, welcoming, and genuinely concerned about darkspawn activity in the Wilds. As soon as Duncan and his Wardens had been shown their accommodations , had a chance to eat, and to rest a bit, Gareth made himself, Siobhan, Seneschal Rhodrim, Captain Donnelly, and Mayor Rhys available for a meeting with Duncan.

Gareth made the formal introductions and opened the meeting, "Commander, our time is yours. What is your assessment of the situation and your recommendations?"

Duncan looked at those assembled and spoke plainly about the darkspawn activity and the Chasind tribes.

"The Chasind have been settled for decades, for them to move now, and as a unit? That is very troubling." Captain Donnelly commented.

Siobhan asked pointedly "Commander, would merely sending scouting parties into the Wilds, as recommended by her Majesty, actually tell you anything you don't already know?"

Duncan was hesitant to answer as candidly as he would have liked, Siobhan sensed this and said, "It's alright Commander, this isn't the audience chamber at Denerim. Here, you are free to speak your mind and don't feel as if you have to honey-coat your opinions. Misunderstandings must be avoided at all costs."

"Very well your Grace. Sending scouting parties into the wilds with no large military force to back them up is a recipe for disaster. However, the Crown, for whatever reason, will not move out the armies unless we have more evidence. Queen Anora was worried about alarming the Bannorn and creating a mass panic."

Mayor Rhys said, "Are you sure about the presence, location and movement of the horde, Commander?"

"The location and presence yes."

"Even without actually seeing a horde?" Rhodrim asked.

"Yes."

Captain Donnelly added, "When speaking of Darkspawn, it had been my experience that their direction is typically towards populated areas. Give them a target and you can determine their movement."

"You are quite correct Captain Donnelly, you have experience with Darkspawn?" Duncan asked.

"Yes Commander, I lost my cousin and his family to the darkspawn."

Mayor Rhys looked at Gareth and Siobhan and said, "It would appear that we have confirmed the existence _and_ movement of the horde."

"Commander," Gareth began, "you said the _Crown_ wouldn't move without evidence, has the King heard of this situation?"

"No your Grace, his Majesty was not in Denerim when I spoke with Queen Anora."

Gareth looked at all assembled, "The _King_ completely supports the Grey Wardens and should be more willing to act. It would be helpful, however, to include in our report suggested strategies to fight this darkspawn threat."

"That would be wise your Grace." Duncan smiled. He was amazed at the reception the Wardens had received in Gwaren.

"Please, call me Gareth."

"Please call me Duncan."

**

* * *

**

Cailan arrived in Denerim late in the evening, eager to tell Anora about the breakthrough in trade negotiations with Orlais; however the first person he encountered was his father-in-law.

"Ah his Majesty has decided to grace our land with his presence. Had too much of Orlesian hospitality?"

Confrontations with Loghain were a constant factor in his life with Anora, so the sarcasm in Loghain's voice was no shock to the young King. Cailan merely looked at his Father-in-law and said, "Orlesian hospitality was up to its usual standard, however, I'm always happiest when I am back home in Ferelden."

"Really, and you don't believe your trip was at all _inappropriate_?"

"I explained everything in the note I left for Anora. I don't have to explain anything to you."

"Anora received no note. She would have told me."

Impatience colored Cailan's voice, "Are you _sure_?"

"Why you whelp! How dare you accuse _my_ daughter of _anything_! She may condone your infidelity, but I do not."

Cailan was shocked at Loghain's accusations, "I have not been unfaithful to Anora! I left Anora a note explaining where I was and what I was doing. That she didn't choose to share it with you is puzzling, but she is _my_ wife and the note was meant _for her_. Now, if you will excuse me, I'm tired from my trip. Good night Loghain." Cailan walked off to his rooms leaving Loghain with a blinding headache for which sleep now seemed to be his only escape.

Cailan walked into their bed chamber stopped when he saw Anora. She was seated at her vanity brushing her long golden locks. Cailan always felt like a young boy when he looked at her. She was his golden goddess. He walked up behind her, putting his hands gently on her shoulders. A huge smile lit his face and he said, "Hello my lovely wife. I have some _wonderful_ news!"

Anora looked at Cailan's reflection, trying to contain her anger, she simply said, "You have _finally_ returned home my husband."

Cailan blinked at the sarcasm in her voice, coupled with Loghain's accusation, made him wonder, "Anora, you knew when I would return, it was all in my note. You did _find_ the note didn't you?

Anora turn to Cailan, "You mean the one that said you were going to Orlais with Bryce and Eamon for important trade negotiations? Yes, I read it and burned it straight away."

"Anora, your father just accused me of being _unfaithful_ to you. I have never been unfaithful to you. You know that, don't you?"

Anora kept silent.

Cailan misinterpreting her silence he pleaded, "Anora, my love, I'm sorry if you thought I was cheating on you. This really was a meeting to discuss trade. Bryce and Eamon have made many excellent contacts and we were actually able to get an audience with the Empress. She was very open to the idea of free-trade. She agrees that countries that have a free exchange of money and resources are much less likely to fight each other."

Anora scoffed coldly, "Do you realize how _stupid_ it is for you to waltz into Orlais, with no other escorts save for an Arl and a Teyrn, and negotiate _anything_!

Cailan was floored, Anora had been getting increasingly condescending, but had never outright insulted him. His brows knit, his voice strained as he said, "All I wanted to do was try to bring peace to Ferelden, to do something that proved my worth as King, and perhaps _for once_ make my wife happy."

Anora stood up, "Make me happy? Maker's sake Cailan, are you _really_ that naive?"

Cailan felt as if he had just been slapped. He thought, _where is the girl I married? Where is my beautiful golden goddess, full of warmth and charm? Was she simply a dream?_ He looked at Anora for what he felt was the very first time.

"Not anymore." He said.

Anora rolled her eyes

Cailan's temper rose, "Obviously I may have been overly ambitious. You, my dear, would first have to _have_ feelings in order to be made happy!"

"Cailan!"

Ignoring her, Cailan continued, "You seem to think you are so much more valuable to Ferelden than I. I'm sick and tired of trying to prove myself to you.

"Cailan…" She tried to plead.

Cailan was angrier than he had ever been. "It's high time you, _and_ your father, realize who is King!" Cailan's voice dripped with malice, "So I give you a choice, you can remain my Queen in which case you will remember your place, or I will set you aside, releasing you from what you clearly consider to be an onerous marriage."

Anora, stunned by Cailan's rage, tried to retake control of the situation. She gently ran her hand up his arm and softly said, "I'm _so_ sorry. Of course I want to remain your _wife_. I just get so worried about you." Cailan was silent, so Anora went on, thinking she had started to turn the tide, a knowing smile on her face. "Clearly we are _both_ tired and the hour is late. Perhaps we should go to bed?"

Cailan said nothing. He simply pulled Anora into his arms. Breathless, Anora led him to the bed. Cailan took her roughly and with little affection. Afterward, he got up and threw Anora her robe, "I suggest that you sleep in your own rooms from now on. In the future I will send for you when your _talents_ are needed."

Anora simply looked at Cailan, her eyes brimming with tears of fury, "How dare you treat me like a common whore!"

"Common? Hardly. If you were a _common_ whore I would have paid you with sovereigns and not power."

Anora felt like a scalded cat and tired to slap Cailan, who caught her hand and said, "Good night my _Queen_."

Anora ran from the room.

Cailan sat on the bed in his empty bed and put his head in his hands.

**

* * *

**

In Gwaren the next several days were spent discussing and debating various strategies for fighting the horde. Gareth and Siobhan requested that Captain Donnelly bring his most experienced lieutenants and sergeants to the discussions. Duncan included his wardens. Between them all, they came up with several very sound ideas to present to their Majesties. The next step would be to craft the report in a way that would ensure the full cooperation of the Crown.

During the late afternoon of one of these days, Gareth and Siobhan were talking with Duncan. Siobhan said, "I don't think I should go to Highever, if Gareth is going to be with the Gwaren army at Ostagar, I should remain here."

Gareth was about to answer, when Duncan cut in, "Siobhan, you carry the heir to the Teyrnir, a child of Mac Tir and Cousland blood. We don't know how this fight will end. If it all goes badly, you _must_ survive to re-build. If this becomes a full blight, Gwaren, positioned as near as it is to the wilds, may not be able to stand for long. Highever gives you the advantage of mobility. If the blight starts to spread north, you will need to be able to get as far away as you can as quickly as possible."

"What does it say to the people of Gwaren if their Teyrna _hides out_ in another Teyrnir during a crisis such as this?"

"If I may your Graces," Mayor Rhys interrupted as he was walking by. "I apologize for intruding, but I couldn't help but hear Teyrna Mac Tir's concerns."

Gareth nodded for him to continue

"Teyrna, your willingness to stay in Gwaren only reinforces the reason for you to leave. Your love for our land and its people has already endeared you to us, and we would lay down our lives to protect you. If Highever is the safest place for you to be during this situation, then that is _precisely_ where you need to go."

Siobhan was speechless, her eyes filled with tears, "Mayor Rhys, I don't know what to say."

"Say nothing your Grace, for I speak the truth. Now, if you will excuse me I see you all at dinner."

Gareth took her hand, "You are not going to Highever alone, I will escort you there."

"Gareth, your place is with our armies. I can go to Highever on my own."

Duncan cleared his throat, "I also don't recommend that you travel unescorted Siobhan. I have to go to Highever myself as there is a knight there I need to recruit, I will be happy to escort you."

"Duncan, I appreciate your willingness, but escorting my wife and unborn child at a time like this is my duty and one I will not shirk." He kissed Siobhan's hand and looked directly into her eyes, "And no force possible will change my mind."

**

* * *

**

Siobhan had gone to bed early. Gareth requested Duncan's presence on the estate grounds. When they were alone and out of all hearing Gareth turned to Duncan, "Duncan, how is Alistair?"

Duncan couldn't stop the shock from showing on his face, "Your Grace, I cannot…"

Gareth held up a hand, "It's alright Duncan, I know about him."

Duncan was very guarded and quietly said, "What exactly do you know?"

"When I was Maric's squire, he came down with a serious illness. Cailan, being the sole heir, wasn't allowed to come near him for fear he would catch it as well. Cailan was terrified he was going to lose his father and insisted that I sit with Maric. At the height of his fever, Maric became delirious and thought I was my father." Smiling sheepishly he went on, "I was a bit of a scamp at the time and didn't try to dissuade him of that."

Duncan nodded.

"Maric started talking about a boy named Alistair. How one of his greatest mistakes was leaving Eamon to raise him. He grieved not being able to acknowledge Alistair, and for his being sent to the Chantry to be trained as a Templar."

"Did he say anything else?"

"Except for one thing, which I didn't understand at the time, he said he should never have listened to Fiona."

Duncan looked up into the star-lit sky and thought _ah the chickens have finally come home to roost._ He knew Maric and Fiona's secret would come out someday, he was just glad that it had happened during the quite of a Summerday evening, rather than during the tumult of a Landsmeet.

Duncan looked at Gareth, "Did you ever tell Cailan?"

"No, I never told anyone, not even my wife. Although I _think_ Cailan is aware of Alistair's existence. Clearly this was something Maric had expected to take to his grave and I felt _terrible_ about his pain. I did do some discrete checking and discovered where Alistair had been sent and how he was doing. When I was last in Redcliff I heard about the outrage caused by a _certain_ Grey Warden Commander who had conscripted an unhappy Templar _initiate_ instead of recruiting sworn Templars. I wasn't sure that the initiate you recruited was Alistair until I asked you how he was." Gareth looked a bit ashamed at that and said, "Sorry for tricking you."

Duncan simply laughed, he felt as if a great burden had been lifted from him. _This is a man who kept the King's confidence when most men of his age and station would have used the information for personal gain and here he is apologizing for __tricking__ me! _

"No apologies needed Gareth, you are a man of great personal integrity _and_ you managed to outfox and old fox. I don't want you to continue to bear this secret alone though; please feel free to share what you know with Siobhan. Your wife has every bit as much integrity and heart as you do and it would set my mind at ease to know that there are at least _two_ other people out there who care about Alistair and will look out for him."

"I will tell Siobhan when I think the time is right. What about Arl Eamon?"

"While I like the Arl, his treatment of Alistair was appalling."

"I take it that Alistair's mother, Fiona, isn't coming back?"

Duncan merely shook his head, "How much do you know about Fiona?"

"Other than she's Alistair's mother and clearly not a serving maid, nothing."

Not to be out foxed twice Duncan asked, "Why do you believe she wasn't a serving maid?"

"Maric would never have listened to a serving maid regarding the deposition of his own blood, legitimate or not."

Duncan thought for moment, "I will only say this about Fiona - she too was a Grey Warden."

The finality in Duncan's tone told Gareth that whoever Fiona was, her identity was something that Duncan would take to his grave and something that Alistair should never know.

**

* * *

**

The next morning, the Queen sent word that she was feeling under the weather and would remain in her rooms. Rendon Howe appeared in her study through one of the many secret entrances in the palace and said, "Over played your hand my dear?"

Startled, Anora almost screamed, "Damn it Howe! Stop doing that. Who would have thought Cailan would suddenly discover his spine."

"Yes, his Father was like that too."


	12. Clouds gather, hearts part

**AN: **Thank to Jinx1983, Count of Chaos and hetekos for your reviews and to Shakespira for her continued reviews and words of encouragement.

Bioware owns all, I own nothing. Although I wouldn't mind having Gareth to myself.

**Chapter 11 – Clouds gather, hearts part**

Reclining on her couch, Anora said, "Even though I _may_ have 'over-played' my hand, I think that my Father will still be _very_ displeased with Cailan. I may have lost a battle, but I believe I will win the war." She smiled.

"Unless of course he lashes out and kills Cailan in a fit of rage." Rendon Howe said, looking at his finger nails, while leaning against the wall.

"He won't. Remember, I _love_ Cailan and his demise would just be _devastating_."

The pathos in Anora's voice brought a chuckle to Howe as he looked up from his hands, "Just don't overdo it this time."

Anora smiled.

"It occurs to me, your Majesty that the darkspawn threat might work to our advantage."

Anora looked genuinely puzzled, "Really, how so?"

Howe's eyes grew wide, "My dear, a large battle, darkspawn and armies clashing, chaos, mayhem, death, Cailan trying to be the Hero… the opportunities that may present themselves to your father are _limitless_."

"My Father would never jeopardize Ferelden!" Anora snapped, and then Howe could see the lonely little girl in her eyes as she said bitterly, "Not even for his own daughter."

"My dear, he loves you every bit as much as he loves Ferelden, that's why he wants to see _you_ rule and not Cailan, he trusts _you_ to save Ferelden." Howe said soothingly.

"It matters little now. I have already quelled all thoughts of large battle against the darkspawn." Anora said dismissively,

Rendon pushed himself off the wall, "I doubt it. Your Chamberlain is briefing the King as we speak. I expect that in his current mood, once he hears about your lackluster response, he will be chomping at the bit to fight the darkspawn."

Anora stood up, looking down on the diminutive Arl, "My response was not lackluster, it was sensible and logical given the information we had."

Raking his eyes up Anora's body, he replied, "_Come now_, my dear, you _misunderstand_ me. _ I _didn't think your response was lackluster. But Cailan will."

* * *

Cailan's voice could be heard from outside of his study and throughout the halls as he yelled, "You mean the Commander of the Ferelden Grey Wardens was here requesting help fighting the darkspawn and was sent to _Gwaren_ to do more _scouting_! Am I hearing this correctly!

"Yes, my report is accurate Sire." The Chamberlain said warily. The King had been in a black mood since he emerged from his bedroom late this morning.

Cailan was furious. "Get my Chancellor of the Military and the Queen in here now!"

"Sire, the Queen said she was ill and left specific instructions not to be disturbed today."

"I don't bloody well care if she has the plague. You tell her to be in here in 15 minutes or I will drag her here myself."

The Chamberlain nodded, "By your leave Sire."

Cailan stood drumming his fingers on his desk.

* * *

Within 20 minutes Anora and Loghain were assembled in Cailan's study along with the Chamberlain.

"The Commander of the Grey in Ferelden comes to us seeking aid in _preventing_ _a blight_, and the best response either of you could come up with was sending him to Gwaren to do more scouting?"

Anora protested, "Cailan, he had no evidence, nothing except information on the movement of the Chasind, and his Grey Warden senses. What was I supposed to do, call our armies to march across Ferelden and battle some unseen enemy? That would have created chaos in the Bannorn."

"I would have expected that response from _you_ Anora. You are never one to let stewardship interfere in politics! What surprises me however, is the lack of any action from my Chancellor of the Military. Tell me Loghain - are our forces too _pathetic_ to raise arms against the darkspawn?"

"Your Majesty, perhaps if you had been at court to hear the Commander personally you would be less inclined to judge our actions quite so harshly. But as you were in _Orlais_…"

"I don't care if I was in Seheron! While I'm away I expect my Queen and my Military adviser to make decisions based on what is best for _all_ of Ferelden, not just the part with which they have political alliances."

Loghain tried to keep his temper in check, "Cailan, this is _not_ a Blight. There is _no_ Archdemon. There is _nothing_ to suggest any real problem aside from the movement of several Chasind tribes and the experience and vague words of a _Grey Warden_. We sent him to Gwaren and ordered Gareth to provide Duncan with enough troops to determine the facts of the situation to our satisfaction. If there is a horde out there, or an Archdemon, Ferelden will respond, but I'm not going to focus our armies in one remote area of Ferelden and leave the rest of our country unguarded on the basis of the word of a Grey Warden."

"Oh yes, we might risk being invaded by the horrible _Orlesians_. Can't have that can we?" Cailan mocked, before Loghain could say another word, "Duncan suggested amassing our troops at Ostagar. Loghain, which of Ferelden's larger armies can be ready to march on a week's notice."

"Including the Royal army, Gwaren, Highever, Amaranthine, and probably Redcliff." Loghain said in a monotone.

"Excellent! I will send word to Teyrn Mac Tir to muster Gwaren's army, and the Grey Wardens and head to Ostagar. You and I will leave tomorrow with the Royal Army and meet them there. Once I have spoken directly with Duncan we can decide if we need Amaranthine and Highever as well." Cailan sat down and began reading more of his correspondence.

Anora and Loghain still stood before him.

"I suggest you both read up in the history of the Grey Wardens. Dismissed." Cailan said without looking up.

Anora left the room Loghain followed her.

"Anora! Stop." Loghain called.

Anora stood waiting for her father to catch up.

"Anora, what in the Maker's name is going on?"

"It's nothing father, Cailan and I just had a disagreement last night and he's still a little angry."

"A little angry, I've never _seen_ Cailan like that. What did you argue about?"

"Father…it's…it's nothing." Anora turned to leave, but Loghain held her arm, Anora remembering her fight with Cailan last night involuntarily flinched."

"Anora, did he…_hurt_ you?" Anora could hear the murderous rage in Loghain's voice.

Thinking about Howe's comment earlier, Anora answered quickly, "No! Father no, he didn't. We just fought over his trip to Orlais. He _had_ left me a note that I _completely_ missed. I said some ratty things to him and he to me. We were both tired. Really, it's nothing."

Loghain let Anora go. He knew she was lying to him and swore that he would deal with Cailan once and for all, even if it was the last thing he did.

* * *

Later in the day, Loghain had cornered Rendon Howe, "Howe, where is the information I requested when we learned of Cailan's departure to Orlais? Too much is going on of which I have no knowledge!" Loghain demanded.

Rendon looked nervous and hesitant, "Sire, I do have information, but frankly it's quite explosive and I…I almost cannot believe it myself."

"What have you found?"

Rendon handed a parchment to Loghain who opened it read the contents. In a hoarse whisper he uttered, "Traitorous bastards!" Looking up at Rendon, he said, "Are you _sure_ about this?"

"Yes, Sire."

After we deal with the issue in the Kocari Wilds, we will bring this before a Landsmeet."

Rendon looked worried, and shuffled his feet.

"Howe, you disagree? Treason _is_ a capital offense and the King has the right of high justice."

"Yes, but you and Cailan haven't been on the best of terms and you have amassed several powerful enemies in the Bannorn, I fear they may not believe any evidence you present. They _will_ fight and we risk a civil war. For the _good of Ferelden_, might I suggest a more covert approach?"

"I'm listening." Loghain asked.

* * *

_21__th__ Bloomingtide, 9:30 Dragon Age_

_To their Graces, Gareth and Siobhan Mac Tir, Teyrn and Teyrna of Gwaren, and Duncan, Warden Commander of Ferelden:_

_We have recently learned of your efforts on behalf of the Crown in investigating the darkspawn threat in the Kocari Wilds. We are deeply grateful for your help as Ferelden cannot stand idly by as a Blight starts to take root in our fair land. Know that we are prepared to send the Royal Army to Ostagar where we expect to meet the Gwaren Army and the Ferelden Grey during the 1__st__ week of Justinian. Once we meet and have heard a full report from the Warden Commander, we can decide what additional Ferelden forces will be required._

_Know that we will give our full support the Grey Wardens and Ferelden will stand to fight any and all darkspawn that threaten our lands._

_Again, you have the thanks of the Crown for your actions._

_Cailan Therirn, Rex_

_Ferelden_

_

* * *

_

_25__th__ Bloomingtide, 9:29 Dragon Age_

_Your Royal Majesty, King Cailan Theirin,_

_We have received your letter and will do as commanded. Based on the information obtained by the Grey Wardens, the darkspawn activity is increasing and is a clear and present danger to Ferelden. We are drafting a report containing possible strategies that we will present to you in person. _

_We thank the Crown for its swift action and will be ready when you arrive in Ostagar._

_Gareth Tynan Mac Tir, Teyrn_

_Siobhan Kellan Mac Tir, Teyrna_

_Gwaren_

_and_

_Duncan, Warden Commander of the Grey_

_Ferelden_

_

* * *

_

_25__th__ Bloomingtide, 9:29 Dragon Age_

_Dearest Father and Mother_

_We will be leaving for Highever the day after tomorrow. We have to stop along the way to meet with His Majesty, but expect to be in Highever by the second week of Justinian. Sorry for the delay. As you know running a Teyrnir can wreak havoc on travel plans!_

_All my love,_

_Siobhan_

* * *

It was the evening before their departure from Gwaren. Gareth had left orders with the Seneschal that he and Siobhan were not to be disturbed unless the castle was under attack. He had supper brought to their apartments. In a room awash with candle light and perfumed by a bouquet of star lilies they ate dinner and then sat on their terrace watching the stars.

"I will miss Gwaren" Gareth signed.

"I know, dear one, as will I. I do hope we are back in time for the birth. I so much want to have _our_ baby here in _our_ home."

Gareth held her hand and both had the same unspoken thought, _if there's a Gwaren to return to._

After several moments of peaceful silence, Siobhan softly began to sing. It was the song to which they first danced as husband and wife.

_For I love you so much, truly, _

_that one could sooner dry up_

_the deep sea _

_and hold back its waves _

_than I could constrain myself_

_from loving you, _

_without falsehood; for my thoughts_

_my memories, my pleasures_

_and my desires are perpetually of you, _

_whom I cannot leave or even briefly forget._

Gareth, smiled and took up the next verse

_You are the true sapphire _

_that can heal and end all my sufferings,_

_the emerald which brings rejoicing, _

_the ruby to brighten and comfort the heart. _

_Your speech, your looks, _

_Your bearing, make one flee and hate and detest _

_all vice, and cherish and desire all that is good. _

_I want to stay faithful. . ._

Together they sang the refrain

_I want to stay faithful, guard your honor, _

_Seek peace, obey _

_Fear, serve and honor you, _

_Until death…_

Gareth finished with _"…Peerless Lady."_

Standing, he pulled Siobhan up and took her into his arms, then he picked her up and carried her into the bedroom where all thoughts and fears of what lie ahead were, for one night, quelled.

* * *

The Grey Wardens and Gwaren forces arrived in Ostagar, Ser Donnelly and Duncan's senior warden scouted the area to determine how camp should be laid out. Gareth, Duncan and Siobhan stood on the bridge that overlooked the valley.

"Duncan, what is that Tower?" Gareth asked.

"That is the Tower of Ishal, named after the Tevinter Archon who ordered its construction. The tower and this fortress were originally built to protect against wilders. That's why it provides an excellent vantage point for threats coming from the Kocari Wilds. The valley is the most likely spot for us to battle the darkspawn."

"Duncan, do we really have a chance against this horde?" Siobhan asked, afraid of his response.

Duncan thought a long moment and then said, "It depends upon several factors, none the least of which is the size and strength of our forces. For that I hope to convince the King to send for support from Orlais and its wardens."

"For that you would need to render my father unconscious. Can we do this without the Orlesians?" Gareth asked.

"Perhaps. If the archdemon appears though, we will need every Grey Warden available."

"Can only Grey Wardens kill archdemons?" Siobhan asked.

"Yes." Duncan replied.

"Why?" Gareth asked.

Duncan smiled, "I could tell you, but then I would have to make you a Grey Warden."

Siobhan smiled, "Well then let's just have the answer to that question remain a mystery."

* * *

Cailan, Loghain and the Royal Army arrived ahead of schedule. Cailan was pleased that camp had already been laid out. Siobhan and Gareth went to greet Cailan and Loghain, and Siobhan was immediately struck by how much both appeared to have _aged_.

"Father, it is good to see you." Gareth smiled.

"As it is you my son." Loghain looked to Siobhan, his brows knit, "As I am here on the Crown's business shall I refer to you as Teyrna Mac Tir?"

Catching the barb in his words, Siobhan said simply, "Siobhan is fine. How do you wish me to address you?"

"Loghain will do." He replied gruffly, "If we are done with the greetings and felicitations, the King and I need a status report."

"Of course Your Grace," Duncan said. "I suggest we go to the area we have laid out to hold war counsels. It's large and secluded and will provide us with a measure of privacy."

Duncan and Gareth updated the King and Loghain on the current status and their suggested strategies. Duncan pointed out the need for a large number of troops and made the suggestion that the King send to Orlais for additional troops and Wardens.

"Absolutely not!" Loghain yelled. "Ferelden can defend itself. Cailan, this is _lunacy_. We have ample troops in Ferelden!"

Cailan thought a moment. "Duncan if we added the armies from Highever and Amaranthine, would that be enough?"

"Perhaps."

"Alright, I will send to Highever and Amaranthine. Duncan, how can we drive the horde towards us?"

"Your Majesty, they already know we are here. We should start seeing smaller attacks by week's end."

Gareth spoke, "Your majesty, by your live, I would like to escort Siobhan to Highever? Duncan will accompany us as he has a potential recruit that he needs to evaluate. The Gwaren army is yours to command in my absence. I can return with Teyrn Cousland and his forces."

"That would be unwise Gareth." Loghain warned.

Gareth ignored his father and looked at the King.

Cailan looked at Loghain then at Gareth, "Of course, go ahead; we have plenty of troops for a few skirmishes and you can give the Teyrn a more detailed briefing." To Siobhan, Cailan said, "I was worried you were going to stay in Gwaren. Given its proximity to the wilds, I think Highever is the safest place for you."

Loghain visibly bristled, but said nothing.

Gareth whispered in Siobhan's ear, she nodded and said, "Your Majesty, may Duncan and I escort you around the area that we have set aside for the royal encampment, and perhaps you can tell me the news from Denerim."

Cailan smiled, but his eyes held a sadness, "Yes, My Lady, there is much to share."

When they were alone, Gareth looked at his father, "What's wrong with me escorting my wife to Highever?"

"You are leaving your troops during a very dangerous time."

"Try again. You're the one who has been _downplaying_ this threat since Duncan showed up in Denerim."

"You're escorting your _wife._ Do I need to remind you that you are a Teyrn and as such your duty is to the Crown, to Gwaren and _then_ to family."

"Do not instruct me as if I were a child."

"Then stop acting like one. Your wife is perfectly capable of handling herself and the Warden Commander will be there if something happens." Loghain advanced on his son, growling "Your place is _here_ and _traveling_ to _Highever_. Leaving right _now_ is _irresponsible_!" he poked a gauntleted finger into Gareth's breastplate, to emphasize each word.

At this point Gareth could have mentioned Siobhan's pregnancy, but held his tongue. His father's mood was nasty and dark and for the first time in his life, he feared what his father might be thinking.

Gareth grabbed Loghain's hand and forcefully pushed it away, his voice deadly calm, "I am going to see Siobhan to Highever, not just because she is my wife, but because she is Teyrna of Gwaren and it is my duty to ensure her safety. I will be back with Teyrn Bryce and his troops and we will _all_ deal with the darkspawn horde."

Loghain remained silent, so Gareth went on, "I'm _through_ trying to figure out your inner demons! When you are ready to act like a caring human being, let me know."

Gareth turned and stalked from the war council grounds, leaving Loghain feeling very much alone.

* * *

The Kings summons to Ostagar arrived just ahead of Gareth, Siobhan, and Duncan. Bryce and Eleanor, while thrilled to see Gareth and Siobhan, were deeply worried. After everyone had a chance to unpack and freshen up. Gareth and Siobhan met with Bryce and Eleanor in the study.

"What is the news from Ostagar?" Bryce asked.

Siobhan smiled, "Actually it's the news from Gwaren that first brought us here." Taking Gareth's hand she said, "I am with child."

Bryce was speechless but Eleanor more than made up for her husband's silence. "Make bless us! Siobhan, Gareth that is marvelous! We are going to be grandparents again Bryce!" She pulled Siobhan into a hug. Siobhan looked at her father and said, "Father?"

Bryce broke out of his thoughts and smiled, "Pup, I'm sorry, you took me by surprise, that's all. I'm thrilled for you both!"

Eleanor grabbed Siobhan by the hand and said, "We must find Oriana and tell her. Bryce, I will send in Fergus."

Bryce looked at Gareth, "Rendon Howe is coming to Highever with his troops. He should be here within the next two days. I assume you will be riding back with us?"

"Yes, Bryce, I'm needed in Ostagar as are you. I had to escort Siobhan here first."

"Even though Duncan was coming along as well?"

"Do _you_ think I should have stayed in Ostagar?"

Bryce smiled, "No. You did the right thing."

"To hear my father talk you would think I betrayed the Crown by coming here."

At that point Fergus came into the room. "Gareth, I understand congratulations are in order! I cannot wait to tease my sister about being barefoot and pregnant. Brilliant, simply brilliant!" Fergus then sobered, "Father, I understand that the army will be marching to Ostagar?"

"Yes, we leave as soon as Arl Howe and his men arrive. I will leave a smaller force at Highever. With your mother, Oriana, and now Siobhan around, I think all will be safe here while we are gone."

"I see that the Warden Commander is here as well. Is he recruiting?"

"Yes, I believe he is interested in speaking with Ser Gilmore."

"Excellent choice, Rory will make a fine Warden."

* * *

Arl Howe arrived in the morning two days later with only a small portion of his army. The rest were delayed and would be arriving the following day. Walking into the great hall, Rendon Howe was shocked to see Gareth Mac Tir and Duncan standing next to Bryce.

"Your Grace, Warden Commander, I wasn't expecting to see you both at Highever." Rendon bowed.

Gareth nodded. "I escorted my wife here and will be returning to Ostagar with yours and Bryce's troops, if that is alright?"

"Of course, of course, I would be _honored_."

"Duncan arrived with Siobhan and Gareth, is there a problem?" Bryce asked.

"No, but visitors of such stature requires certain protocols, I'm afraid I'm at a disadvantage."

"Rendon, I'm sorry if I have made you feel uncomfortable, these are unusual times however, protocols are really not necessary." Bryce smiled.

* * *

Later that morning, Bryce came to Gareth and Siobhan, he looked very worried, "Gareth, I want you and Fergus to leave today and take the Highever forces with you. Duncan and I will follow tomorrow with Arl Howe and his troops."

Siobhan put her had on her father's arm, "Father, what's wrong?"

Bryce was silent a moment, "Howe's men are delayed, and I would just feel better knowing the troops are in Ostagar as requested. It would be a help to me if Gareth accompanied Fergus. I also think the two of you would make an excellent team."

"Of course Bryce, I will be ready to leave with Fergus on your command."

"Pup, will you go and let Fergus know?"

Siobhan looked from her husband to her father, "Of course Father."

When they were alone, Bryce looked at Gareth. "Stay alert on your way to Ostagar. I have a bad feeling and I don't know what it is."

* * *

Siobhan has seen Gareth to the gate. He held her as close as possible then her tear-stained face to his and looked into her dark blue eyes. Parting from her is the most difficult thing he had ever had to do, but for some reason, beyond rational thought, beyond faith, he knew with every fiber of his being that this would **not** be the last time he held her.

Siobhan broke the silence first, "Maker preserve you my dearest love. I will miss you terribly."

"As I will you My Lady." He pulled her into his arms for their last kiss, appearances be damned.

The troops cheered.

AN: **The song they sing is from the 14****th**** century and is called** Foy porter (I want to stay faithful) by **Guillaume de Machaut: **Translated from the French by Paul Brians


	13. The firestorm of destiny

AN: A million thanks to my reviewers and to Shakespira for her continued reviews. Some of the dialog is directly from the game and there are two quotes (marked with an * that are taken directly from Stolen Throne (citations at the end).

Bioware owns all. I own nothing.

**Chapter 12 – The firestorm of destiny**

Fergus and Gareth arrived at Ostagar, they had made good time and Cailan welcomed them as they reached the fortress. The King was beaming, his spirits high.

Fergus and Gareth bowed, Gareth said, "your Majesty we didn't expect…"

"…a Royal Welcome? I was beginning to worry you would both miss all the fun. We've beaten them twice already and I don't expect the upcoming battles to be any different. However, the bulk of the horde is still over a week away. Where are Duncan and Teyrn Cousland?

"My father sent the Highever troops ahead, he is arriving with Duncan and Arl Howe, whose forces were delayed a day."

"Gareth, I take it the Teyrna is safely at Highever?"

"Yes, your Majesty.

"Excellent! Teyrn Loghain and I were just about to meet, _once again_, to discuss tactics. Please join us when you're ready." With that Cailan turned and jauntily walked back over the bridge.

"He seems a bit…" Fergus began

"…over confident?"

"Well yes."

"We should get to this meeting. Somewhere between Cailan's over confidence and my father's paranoia, lays a _realistic_ picture of what's going on."

Fergus added, "I really wish Duncan were here, but at least all of his Ferelden Wardens have arrived."

Fergus and Gareth didn't have enough time to get to the meeting as it was as brief as it was contentious. Duncan's senior Grey Warden, Kester, warned that the past battles were simply small raids and that the bulk of the horde would be _magnitudes _larger. Cailan suggested waiting for the Orlesians, to which Loghain violently argued that Ferelden was perfectly capable of fighting its own battles. Kester remarked that Darkspawn were not just a threat to Ferelden, and Loghain, his face red with fury stalked out the meeting.

Just outside, he encountered Fergus and Gareth. Stopping he said testily, "Well if it isn't my _prodigal_ son returned to play war with our Boy King."

Gareth refused to take the bait, and simply nodded, "Father."

Loghain looked at Fergus, his face twisted in disdain, "So your father _stays_ in Highever, while his troops come here?"

Fergus, "My Lord, Father stayed so he could accompany Arl Howe, whose men were delayed arriving in Highever."

Loghain raised an eyebrow, "Arl Howe went from Amaranthine to Highever before coming here?

"Yes, My Lord."

"I expect he had his reasons for making the detour." Loghain nodded to them both and left for his tent.

* * *

Gareth, still angry with his father, talked with Cailan in the Royal pavilion.

"Gareth, your father will come along. He's just having problems letting go. That was the real reason I made him Miliatary Chancellor, I _thought _it would et him out of your hair."

Gareth smiled, "I though it was _my _job to look out for _you_?"

"Brother, we look out for each other. I have to admit thought that I envy what you have with Siobhan. You are each better for the presence of the other. It will make for a very powerful Teyrnir. If Anora and I had that perhaps Ferelden would flourish just as much."

"Ferelden is doing well Cailan, darkspawn aside, whatever problems you and Anora have, you have always presented a united front to the Kingdom."

"We've tried, or at least_ I_ have. I just cannot shake the feeling that Anora has some kind of plan up her sleeve."

"That's worrisome. My sister has spent her life learning subterfuge from father and the nobles in Ferelden, and regrettably, she is very good at it. What has she been doing?"

Cailan recounted the fights with Loghain and Anora, and the huge fight over the Orlais trip. Gareth listened, connecting the dots with things his Father had mentioned. Realization dawned on him and he said "Maker! Cailan, I think Anora is trying to usurp the throne and she may be trying to get my father to do her dirty work."

Cailan's eyes went wide, and then he laughed. "I think you've been infected with your father's paranoia! Anora may be an insufferably arrogant, but she's not a traitor. Besides, Loghain would no more act against me than he would have my father. "

Gareth was about to argue, but saw the pain behind Cailan's eyes, and thought that maybe after the threat of darkspawn was eliminated he would try to see what Anora was scheming. "Perhaps you're right. My father has been getting on my nerves recently." Changing the subject, "Cailan, Fergus and I are going on a scouting mission later today, if we need to run a message back here, I want my men to have a code word known only to you and father. This way you will know the message is from our party."

"Do you anticipate a spy?"

"Just a precaution. Chalk it up to _paranoia_."

"Alright," Cailan laughed, "what is the code word"

"Saturnalia"

Cailan smiled and they both shared a laugh.

* * *

When Loghain reached his tent, he found his hands shaking slightly as he remembered his last conversation with Rendon Howe.

"_I'm listening."_

"_Bryce is too popular with the Bannorn. We need him to confess his treason and turn on his co-conspirator."_

"_How do you propose we do that?_

"_Bryce has one very well known weakness…his family"_

"_What about Siobhan?"_

_Well Sire, she is part of his family and __particularly__ special to him._

_Loghain looked away from Howe and thought - This is like Katriel all over again. Only that time I had to explain to Maric that a king does what __has__ to be done, as opposed to what he wants to do. Now it is Gareth's turn to learn the same lesson. Traitors must be routed out and dealt with decisively, by __any means necessary__. It will be devastating to the boy, but I warned him about Bryce when he first started courting Siobhan._

_He looked back at Howe, "Bryce played with fire, and now he and his line must burn. Do what you need to do to exact the confession, but cover your tracks well."_

"_Of __course__ Sire." Howe nodded and left the room._

Loghain coming back to the present looked up to the ceiling, "Maker for what is about to happen, know that I do it for a far greater good."

* * *

Fergus and Cailan had taken a group of their elite troops and headed into the wilds to try to get a fix on the Chasind and the darkspwan. Going through the wilds under cover of dusk, they tried to remain hidden in the shadows as the moved. Deep into the wilds they came to a small hut, it was clearly occupied. Gareth, suddenly felt his insides tense, a feeling of malevolence seem to permeate his being, not knowing who or what was in the hut, Gareth signaled to the troops to go around.

Inside the hut an old woman was stirring a pot of stew. She picked up her head and turned towards the sound outside. Her eyes turned a deep red as her sight looked inward, her hands flexed and then were still. She thought_ the son of Maric's betrayer_ _has finally arrived to meet his destiny. _ After a few moments, she stood up and went outside.

After several small skirmishes with the darkspawn Gareth and Fergus found a place to camp, it was defensible and had good clear lines of sight. They were about to determine the order of watch when fire suddenly rained down from the sky. In the span of a heartbeat, several of the men were incinerated. Suffocating from the smoke and the heat, Gareth and Fergus barely made out the shape of a dragon. It descended on the party and the remaining soldiers joined Gareth and Fergus in battling it. Several of the men managed to draw the dragon's attention away from Gareth who saw the opportunity and leaped upon it, spearing its wing with his sword. The beast reared in pain, its scream deafening. Gareth was able to maneuver onto the Dragon's back where he plunged his sword into it again. The Dragon reached around and caught Gareth in its mouth and threw him high into the air. The last thing he saw before the darkness overtook him was Fergus under the monster's claws.

* * *

Siobhan awoke to the frantic barking of Caradog. She could have sworn she had heard screams, but the hall outside was eerily quiet.

"What is it girl, are you trying to tell me something?"

Caradog barked more frantically, growling at the door. Siobhan quickly put on her armor and grabbed her weapons. She went to the door and, using it as a shield, opened it. An arrow flew past and into the room just missing Caradog. As the soldier tried to enter Siobhan bashed him with the door dropping him to the ground. Another soldier took his place, and Siobhan sliced through his hand with her sword, blood poured out of the severed appendage and solider fell screaming in pain. Using the door as a choke point, Siobhan fought her way out of the room. As the last man fell, she turned around to see her mother armed and armored.

"Darling I heard fighting outside and feared the worst are you hurt?"

"No mother I'm fine."

"The screams woke me up. There were men in the hall so I barred the door. Did you see their shields, those are _Howe's_ men. Why would they attack us?"

"I don't know. Howe must have waited until most of our troops were away from the castle."

"You don't think Howe's men were delayed…on purpose? That bastard, I'll cut his lying throat myself."

"Where is Oriana?" Siobhan asked.

Eleanor's eyes went wide and they both ran across the hall to Oriana and Fergus's room. The image of Oriana and Orin lying broken in pools of their own blood would be forever burned in Siobhan's mind.

Eleanor screamed, "My poor Orin, what manner of fiend slaughters innocents?"

"Where's father?"

"He never came to bed…you don't think? Oh Maker, Bryce! We must find him."

Together the Cousland women battled their way to the main hall where Ser Gilmore found them

"Thank the maker you're both alright!" He said

"Rory, have you seen Father?"

"The last time I saw him, he was wounded and making his way to the larder. He hoped to find you by the servant's entrance."

Loud pounding sounded at the door

"You'd better go. I will hold them as long as I can to buy you time."

"Maker bless you Roland" Eleanor said.

"Maker bless us all." and with that he ran back to the doors.

Siobhan and Eleanor made it to the larder where they saw Bryce in obvious agony holding his side. When he saw Siobhan and Eleanor his eyes lit up.

"Bryce!" Eleanor ran to her husband's side.

"Thank the maker you're both safe." Bryce smiled through the pain.

"Father why is Howe attacking us?"

"I don't know pup…I suspect it has to do with…our trip to Orlais." He paused as pain lanced through his body, his breathing ragged, trying to take a deep breath he continued, "Howe isn't expecting any survivors, you both must get to the King, let…him…let him know what happened." Bryce grimaced again leaning his head against Eleanor's shoulder.

"Bryce we cannot leave you here, you must come with us."

"I can't…I would only slow you down, if I made it at all." He groaned again.

"I'm afraid the Teyrn is correct."A deep voice answered as Duncan emerged from the shadows "Howe's intent is not to leave a single person alive; our only choice is to get both Teyrnas out of Highever."

"I'm not leaving you Bryce."

"Eleanor."

"No, you are my husband and my place is by your side." Putting her arm around him gently, her voice soft, "We've had a good life together my darling and two fine children. They _must_ survive. I will shoot every bastard that comes through that door to buy Duncan and Siobhan time."

"Pup…you must…avenge…you must protect your...child."

Siobhan was on her knees next to her parents her eyes bright with tears, "I will. Though I would go to the Black City itself if it would save you both."

"We know that my darling, but you must save yourself and get to Gareth and Fergus."

"I love…you Pup."

Siobhan kissed her father and mother. Standing up she said what would be her last words to them for all time, "I love you both"

She and Duncan fled through the service entrance.

* * *

Soft light filled his vision and gentle voices filled his ears. He tried to pick up his head and a searing pain shot through his body causing him to scream. Then he felt hands on either side of his head, the hands were warm and the pain instantly vanished, causing him to fall into darkness once again.

* * *

Duncan and Siobhan did not stop until they were safely off the castle grounds, Duncan found a place to camp and they settled in for the night. Siobhan stared at the campfire, she look haunted, holding back the tears, and utterly still.

Duncan knelt in front of her, "Siobhan?"

Silence

"Siobhan!" He shook her slightly, she startled and looked up at him.

"I'm sorry Duncan. I'm just…in shock. I don't know what's going on, it's like the world has suddenly gone mad."

"No need to apologize. How are you…feeling?"

Siobhan immediately understood, her hands moving to her stomach, "The baby is fine. It's still early in the pregnancy. I just need to get back to Ostagar and see Gareth. I just need…to…see…him" her shoulders started to shake and she began to cry. Duncan came over and put his arms around her. She buried her face into his chest and sobbed. Duncan just held her until she cried herself to sleep.

* * *

The old woman was sitting outside of her hut when she saw a soldier slowing limping by.

"Ser, are you in need of healing?"

The soldier stopped looking at the woman, "I have no time madam. I must deliver an urgent message."

"You might want to at least stop the bleeding or you won't make anywhere."

The soldier looked at his leg, and then to the woman, "Why do you care?"

"Just because I live in the wilds doesn't mean that I'm without a heart. Please, let me help."

The soldier felt a measure of comfort and trust and moved closer to the old woman, "My thanks Madam, it would make my task easier if my leg hurt less."

The old woman walked over and placed a hand on his leg, the wound knit cleanly.

The soldier looked glassy eyed, "Maker, that's amazing."

The old woman leaned close to the man, her eyes turning a deep red, then she said, "Go forth and deliver your message."

The soldier silently turned and left and a young woman appeared from behind the hut.

"Mother what did you do to that man?"

"I healed his leg of course, is there something wrong with your eyes girl?"

The younger woman rolled her eyes and went back into the hut.

The old woman sat back, smiled and thought, _now she will have no choice._

* * *

Cailan and Loghain were worried. Fergus and Gareth were two days over due and there had been no word. They were discussing sending out a search party when suddenly there was a commotion at the gate to the wilds. Thinking the troops were back, Cailan and Loghain hurried over. All they saw was one of Gareth's most trusted lieutenants. He looked dazed and practically fell into the arms of the guard. Loghain walked up to him and said, "Report!"

The man startled and looked at Loghain, then at Cailan. "I bring word…that Ser Fergus...and Teyrn Mac Tir…died fighting a dragon."

Cailan paled, and said, "How do we know your message is true."

The soldier drew what would be his last breath and said "Saturnalia" as he fell to the ground.

Cailan looked at Loghain, who looked like his soul had just been torn apart.

* * *

"A dragon? Could the archdemon be in the wilds?" Cailan asked Kester.

"I don't think it was the archdemon your majesty."

"DON'T YOU KNOW! Isn't that what you Grey Wardens are _for_!" Loghain slammed his fist into the table. "I swear if we sent my son into the Wilds with the Archdemon on the loose, I will personally crucify every member of your order."

Cailan looked at Kester and motioned for him to leave, turning towards Loghain he said, his voice strained with emotion, "Loghain, I know how upset you are, we all are devastated by the loss, but we have to press forward. _Ferelden is depending on us_."

Loghain looked at Cailan and the the body that once held Loghain Mac Tir walked away.

Back in his tent, Loghain began to drink. Drinking to dull the pain, dull the memories, and dull the guilt. But the more he drank, the more he heard echoes of voices.

"_You've got rage enough inside you, tempered into a blade of fine steel. Into whose heart will you plunge that one day, I wonder." *  
_

"_quite explosive and I…I almost cannot believe it myself."_

"_Keep him close, and he will betray you. Each time worse than the last"**_

"_Cailan is in Orlais"_

"_Your majesty, we should send to Orlais for additional troops and Grey Wardens."_

"_He traveled with Bryce Cousland and Eamon Guerin."_

"_Teyrn Mac Tir…died fighting a dragon"_

"_Orlais"_

"_Orlais"_

"_Bryce Cousland and Eamon Guerin"_

"_Cailan"_

"_Cousland"_

"_Orlais"_

"_troops"_

"_Orlais"_

"_Orlais"_

"_Orlais"_

"Enough!" Loghain yelled falling to his knees and throwing his bottle against the bed post, the shattering glass splitting the still of the knight." He sat on the floor holding his hands to his ears, begging the voices to stop, tears as hot as fire spilling down his face.

* * *

Siobhan and Duncan arrived back in Ostagar. When they got to the tower, she started to run for the camp. Arriving at the bridge, she saw a lone man walking across and recognized Cailan. Siobhan couldn't see his face, but she could see the heaviness in his step. Duncan had caught up to her just as Cailan's face came into view. Siobhan saw Cailan's expression and fell to her knees, knowing that her world had just ended. Gareth was dead.

* * *

The bright light was long gone. Opening one eye then the other, he waited for the pain to come back. When it didn't he tried to focus his eyes on his surroundings. He was in a large round hut, like none he had ever seen. Around him lay other men in cots. He looked at his own body, all his fingers and toes were intact, he felt his face, then his head. It was tender to the touch, but otherwise OK. Standing up slowly he tried to see the identities of the three men in the hut. Two were Gwaren soldiers, the third was almost unidentifiable as he was covered in poultices and was one big bruise from head to toe.

* * *

Citation for * and **

pp 83 and 84 respectively. Gaider, David, (2009). Stolen Throne. Tor: New York.


	14. Stripped bare

AN: Short but important update - didn't want to keep everyone in too much suspense. Thanks for the reviews! One reviewer was concerned that as we get into the cannon, the story will head down a predictable road. I promise to try keep this story on its unpredictable path!

**

* * *

Chapter 13 – Stripped bare**

Standing in the court yard where the soldiers were bringing the dead, Rendon Howe searched through the bodies like a man possessed. When his Captain of the Guard limped up to him, Howe pulled out his sword and held it to the man's throat.

"Where is she?"

"The Teyrn and Teyrna are dead my lord, as is the woman and her child. The daughter and Grey Warden escaped through the servant's entrance. We have scouts in the woods around the castle, we'll find them."

Rendon spat, "You fool! They're half-way to Ostagar by now. You were supposed to kill _everyone_ and bring the daughter to me!

"My Lord, the forces the Teyrn left behind were too strong, and the daughter and Teyrna were ferocious fighters."

"You failed to capture a _woman! _Your troops are a _disgrace_! They have failed me as have you McGregor." Without warning Rendon ran his sword through McGregor stomach. As the man slid to the ground in shocked agony Rendon spat on him and walked away.

* * *

Cailan reached Siobhan as Duncan was helping her up. He was grief-stricken, and seeing the pain on Siobhan's face made it so much worse.

"Siobhan," he said softly, "I'm so sorry."

"How did it happen? Was it darkspawn?" She asked

"He and Fergus…."

"Fergus too!" Siobhan cried, "Maker no!"

Cailan held her hand, "They were on a scouting mission and apparently encountered a dragon. They died trying to kill it."

"_Apparently_? Did you recover their bodies?" Duncan asked.

"No, we found out when one of Gareth's lieutenants came back to camp. His dying act was to tell us what happened."

Cailan suddenly noticed the blood on both Duncan and Siobhan, "Maker, are you hurt? What happened to you both?"

"Cailan, we've been on the run from Highever, _Rendon Howe_ murdered my family."

Cailan was speechless, "How could he think he'd get away with that? We will find that bastard and he will hang for this. I promise you."

Duncan looked at Cailan, "The bulk of the horde will be here any day. We must be ready."

Cailan nodded. "Kester didn't think the dragon was the archdemon."

Duncan shook his head. "It wasn't. I don't know what the dragon was, but it wasn't that."

Siobhan trying to get her heart to continue to beat, and her mind to think looked at Cailan and said, "Loghain! I must go to him." She started to move quickly towards the encampment.

"Siobhan wait!" Cailan called.

"No Cailan, he must be devastated, I have to go to him."

Duncan looked at Cailan "How _is_ Loghain?"

Cailan eyes spoke volumes

Duncan said, "We'd better follow her."

* * *

Pushing past the guard, Siobhan entered Loghain's tent. It was dark and dank and smelled of stale spirits. Sitting on the floor near the bed, was Loghain. He wasn't wearing his armor, and his hair and clothes looked disheveled and dirty, in his hand was a piece of parchment. He looked old and broken and Siobhan tread softly into the room.

"Loghain?" She whispered. "It's Siobhan."

Loghain raised his head, when he saw her, his eyes came to life and burned with a deep hatred. He stood up and turned towards Siobhan. "You traitorous _bitch_!" he spat.

Siobhan staggered at the venom in his voice, "What?"

"You heard me. Your whole family is a bunch of Orlesian-loving traitors. Your father's trips to Orlais were about _trade_ were they? Ha! Trade indeed. Ferelden security _traded _for money!"

"You lie!" Siobhan was reeling from his accusations.

"Do I _Madam_? How do you explain this?" Shoving the parchment in front of her

Siobhan read the parchment

_Dear Bryce,_

_Your information is most appreciated and you will be paid handsomely. Our mutual friend in Orlais stands ready to assist. Expect our arrival within a month._

_Chevalier Etienne  
Commander_

"This is a forgery! How dare you falsely accuse my father."

"Rendon Howe has a very well-placed contact in Orlais, I _guarantee_ this is real."

"_Rendon Howe _just murdered my family not more than three days ago! My father _never_ sold secrets to Orlais. He _never_ spoke with Chevaliers. His contacts were all nobles interested in _trade_. The Landsmeet will never believe this piece of garbage." She gestured to the parchment.

"Perhaps, but when they're presented with his confession…"

"Confession? Was _murdering_ my family the way you were going the extract this confession? Did you put Rendon up to this or were you simply his _pawn_?" She spit out this last statement.

"I am no one's pawn! This is the culmination of an ongoing investigation into your father's traitorous affairs."

"Then you told Howe to do this? You paranoid bastard, how dare you! We are loyal to the Crown and fought to free Ferelden – you know this! Your obsession with Orlais has blinded you to Howe's evil." Trying to calm down, her voice softened, "Loghain, Gareth is _dead_. We're family…"

"Ah, about that." Loghain sneered, "As my son has died without an heir, the Teyrnir reverts back to me. As the daughter of a traitor, all of _your_ lands and titles are forfeit – _you-are-nothing_!"

"Loghain. I'm carrying Gareth's child, _your_ grandchild." Siobhan pleaded.

Loghain's heart gave pause, but was overruled by his fear for Ferelden and his need to protect Anora. He snorted "Convenient, but as Gareth never said anything to me about it, excuse me if I doubt the veracity of your claim."

The shock unsteadied her for a moment, she growled, "A healer can easily confirm my pregnancy Loghain."

"But not the _identity_ of the father." he spat back.

Pain, grief, and anger overwhelmed her, Siobhan, dagger in hand, lunged at Loghain. Were she not off-balance when she struck, she would have put the knife through his heart. Instead she just grazed his ribs. Loghain hit her across the back of the head and she fell to the ground unconscious.

"Guards!" Loghain called.

The guards came in, closely followed by Cailan and Duncan.

"Arrest this woman for treason to the Crown, she tried to kill me!"

"Loghain…" Cailan started

"Your Majesty, the law is clear on attempting to murder a _representative_ of the Crown. It is the same as having attacked the Crown itself. Her lands and titles are forfeit and the penalty is death."

Cailan was caught, his hands were tied. If he let this go, regardless of the circumstances it could undermine the power and status of the crown. His father had managed to drum at least that much into his head. More importantly, if he arrested her pending a trial, she couldn't be protected from Loghain. He looked to Duncan.

"You're Majesty I will take responsibility for this woman. I hereby conscript her into the Grey Wardens."

Loghain said, "Hardly surprising as your order seems to be a refuge for refuse."

"Enough Loghain!" Cailan warned. "Duncan I will allow this."

Duncan called for two of his wardens, "Take this woman to the Warden infirmary, when she is healed report to me immediately. Watch over her and talk to _no one_."

The two wardens nodded, gently lifted Siobhan and took her out of the tent.

"Your Majesty, the Darkspawn are all that matter right now. We _must_ defeat this horde, are you sure you don't want to send for Redcliff forces."

"There is no time Duncan, we will face them as we have before and we _will_ triumph. Regardless of the tragedy, we will join together, the King Ferelden beside the heroic Grey Wardens and we will stem the tide of evil. It's the least we can do for the memory of those we have lost."

"Cailan, you should not be on the front line." Loghain warned.

"Nonsense, I will not hide in the background while my armies fight evil."

"My Lord Loghain, will you assume command of Gwaren's forces?"

"Yes, we must meet tonight to discuss the plans." Loghain responded

"As you wish. Your majesty, I must attend to my recruits."

"Of course Duncan."

When they were alone, Cailan turned on Loghain, his eyes like fire, "Loghain, you have crossed the line! I heard about Howe's massacre of the Couslands and I have dispatched some troops to investigate. You undoubtedly provoked Siobhan into attacking you and if I could prove that, you would be the one cited for treason, you _heartless_ bastard! Duncan is right though, the only thing that matters is defeating the darkspawn. Once we have done that I will deal with you, Rendon Howe, _and_ your conniving daughter!" Without giving Loghain a chance to speak turned and walked out of the tent.

Loghain looked at the tent flap that Cailan had just passed through, the parchment in his hand, "For Ferelden I would endure the Maker's wrath itself, what chance do you have of intimidating me you whelp?"

* * *

The hut was on stilts about 25 feet off the ground. Several times a day women would come up on a ladder and bring food or help him clean up, and then tend to the other men. It took a week for Gareth to clear his head enough to remember _who_ he was, _what_ had happened, and that Donnelly, Liam, and Fergus where the men that lay in the other cots. Fergus was by far the most seriously injured. The women didn't speak Ferelden, but through sign language they were able to convince him that Fergus would recover. Gareth also realized that he needed to get word to Ostagar, and tried, unsuccessfully, to get one of the women to understand him. Finally, after a week and a half, an aged man came into the hut. He was tall but very thin, had skin that looked like well-worn leather, deep-set brown eyes and long iron grey hair that was drawn back in a braid. He wore animal skins and was adorned in necklaces and bracelets that looked to be made of many small carved stones. The man carried himself with an air of nobility and strength. A strong presence seemed to radiate from him and Gareth knew immediately that he was a tribal elder and probably the leader.

Gareth bowed. "I'm sorry that I do not speak your language, do you speak Ferelden?

The man looked surprised and bowed back, "Yes, I do."

Gareth smiled, "I am Gareth Mac Tir of Ferelden and I owe you and your tribe a debt of gratitude for helping me and my comrades."

"Welcome Gareth Mac Tir of Ferelden. I am Udell, son of Ewan, leader of the Ywen Tribe. The Mac Tir name is known to my tribe, are you related to The Mac Tir?"

"I am the son of _Loghain Mac Tir_, he led Gwaren. I now lead Gwaren." Gareth prayed that his father had not done something awful to this tribe.

Udell nodded. "The Mac Tir in Gwaren was not hostile to us, nor was he welcoming, but we will speak of that later. You will now come to meet our tribe. Your _com-rads_ will rest comfortably."

Gareth followed Udell down the ladder and got his first look looked around at the village. The huts were of various shapes and sizes, adored with carvings and totems. All the huts were held up on stilts or built into the trees, and seemed to be arranged so they all opened towards a central area of the village. In the exact center stood a sapling framed by stones into which some kind of pictures or symbols were carved. Surrounding the tree were other types of tribal paraphernalia. The man motioned Gareth to follow him to the young tree as the villagers emerged from their huts and gathered around to see Gareth. They didn't look afraid, just wary.

* * *

Siobhan woke up, an hour or so later, to see an older woman by her side. She tried to sit up, but the woman gently pushed back on Siobhan's shoulder.

"Easy my dear," said the warm contralto voice. Trying to focus, Siobhan saw that the woman wore mage robes and her gray hair was held back in a short pony-tail.

"Where am I?" Siobhan looked around, disoriented.

"You are in the Grey Warden infirmary, suffering from a nasty blow to the head."

"My baby?" Siobhan panicked.

"Is just fine."

"Thank you….I'm sorry I don't know your name."

"I am Wynne, a mage of the Circle."

"I am Siobhan Mac Tir. Thank you for your healing magic. Do you know why I'm in the Warden Infirmary? I thought I would wake up locked in irons."

Wynne said, "I cannot answer those questions Siobhan, I have been instructed to alert the Warden Commander when you woke, and he will explain everything. Please stay here."

Wynne left and Siobhan started to shake, she was cold and scared. Pulling the blanket up she willed her body to still. _ I must conserve her strength; I might have to escape, if they try to arrest me. _ Recalling the confrontation with Loghain, she knew an arrest would be her death sentence. She would never make it to trail or even to Fort Draken.

Duncan and Cailan walked in a short time later.

"You gave us a bit of a scare." Cailan said, sitting down next to her bed.

"Your Majesty, I apologize for my actions, they were not befitting a person of my station. I was overwhelmed by the situation, although that is no excuse."

Cailan took Siobhan's hand, his voice gentle, "You have _nothing_ to apologize for. Gareth was like a brother to me and your father like an uncle. If I had been in your shoes I would have done the same thing. Only I hoped I wouldn't have missed." The last he said with the lopsided grin that was the trademark of Theirin men.

"So what is to happen to me?"

Duncan responded, "You have been conscripted into the Grey Wardens. You are under my protection and will not suffer reprisal from Loghain. Your Majesty, by your leave, I need to brief Siobhan on her new duties and have her an my other recruits ready for the joining."

"Of course Duncan." Looking at Siobhan, tears in his eyes, "I wish for all the world that this was just a very bad dream. I miss Gareth terribly and I know that he loved you more than life itself. He would want you to live and be the strong battle maiden he married. Remember that."

"I will your Majesty, thank you. I know Gareth loved you like a brother."

"As I him. Good luck Siobhan," Cailan said as he left the infirmary.

Duncan sat down. "The healer has cleared you. I want you to find Alistair and bring him back here. There are things I need to discuss with both of you. Then we must get ready for the Joining."

"Duncan, will this 'joining' harm my baby?

"We don't speak of the joining ritual until it's time. I will explain afterward why, but no I don't believe it will harm your child."

"Where would I find this Alistair, what does he look like?"

Duncan's brows knit, "Gareth didn't tell you."

"Tell me what?"

Duncan sighed, "I suppose there wasn't really time." He explained Alistair's identity, how Gareth had found out, and how he had said he would tell Siobhan when he thought the time was right. Siobhan wasn't surprised at the story, or about Gareth's not telling her.

"Gareth takes…took…his confidences very seriously. Given the tumult over the darkspawn, he probably figured he would tell me when we next had a calm moment…" Tears started to well up in her eyes, but Siobhan resolutely wiped them away. "Does Alistair know?"

"He knows he is Maric son, but not about Fiona, and he is never to find out about Fiona either."

Siobhan nodded, bowed to Duncan and went to find Alistair.


	15. Not by any means necessary

**AN: **Short update. I had to re-think my approach to the joining thanks to some advice that I tried to take to heart. I hope you all like the direction we are taking.

Thanks to ALL my reviewers. The reviews do not fall on deaf ears.

Bioware owns all. I own nothing.

**Chapter 14 – Not by any means necessary**

Once all the villagers had gathered, Udell spoke in a clear strong voice that rang with authority. As he spoke, he pointed to Gareth and to the hut in which he and his men were staying. Gareth knew that the Chasind spoke a dialect of Alamarri, which long ago his father _tried_ to make him study as part of an effort to education him on Ferelden's history. Drawing upon this, Gareth could tell he was being introduced as the son of "The Mac Tir" and he was able to pick up words like _Drachä_ which was "Dragon" and _Hexe_ that meant "witch." When Udell said _hexe_, the villagers looked at Gareth in dismay then sympathy. Then Udell held up a necklace and motioned for Gareth to approach. The necklace was like the others Gareth had seen on the villagers. Looking at it up-close he saw that the stones were carved into figures of wolves and trees.

When Udell finished talking he looked at Gareth and said in Ferelden, "This necklace will tell _all_ that you are guests of the Ywen Tribe. I have explained to my people how you came to us and that you will be with us for some time as you heal from the witch's attack"

Gareth was filled with questions and concerns, but he was patient man. Looking at Udell, still trying to remember his studies from so long ago, he bowed and said, what he hoped wasn't _feed me to your dogs_, "Geehrt mit ihrem willkommen" (honored with your welcome).

Udell smiled, placed the necklace on Gareth and bade him to rise, "You honor us by trying to speak our language. Come, you look like you still need much rest."

"Udell, I really need to determine what's happened with my people. When I left, the darkspawn horde was ready to attack our armies."

"Dark-_spawn_?" Udell puzzled over this for a moment and said, "Ah, we call them Dark _Murderers_, _'Dunkle Mörder'_. Come to my tent, we will speak in private and we will eat and you will rest."

* * *

Upon leaving Duncan's tent, Siobhan found where she could wash up as she needed to feel cold water against her burning swollen eyes. After washing her face and hands, and wiping off her armor, she took down her hair, re-braided it. Finally, she thought she at least looked better than she felt. Her mind was racing and she was very worried about this joining ritual; she didn't want to do anything to harm the baby. It was all she had left of Gareth as they couldn't even bring back his body. She was about to start crying again when she remembered what Cailan said to her '_live and be the strong battle maiden he married_' She looked down at her wedding ring and said, "My dearest one, I will fight to clear our name and fight to preserve Ferelden so there is a country into which our child can be born. This I promise you." She kissed the ring, and then with all the willpower she possessed, Siobhan Kellan Mac Tir stood up straight, squared her shoulders, closed her eyes and exhaled, opening them again, she walked out of the wash area in search of Alistair.

She found him off to the side of the main camp, where he was being berated by a mage. From what she could tell, it was a _kill the messenger_ situation with Alistair being the messenger, but Alistair wasn't helping his cause by sassing the mage. She could only see him from the side, but the resemblance to Cailan was obvious. He was taller than his brother, and broader, but the likeness was clear.

When the mage stalked away, Alistair turned toward Siobhan, stunned for a moment she felt like she was looking at a mirror image of Cailan. While Alistair's hair was shorter, darker and his eyes were amber, he was unmistakably a son of Maric.

Alistair looked a Siobhan and, "You know, one good thing about the blight is how it brings people together."

He had the same lopsided Theirin grin but Siobhan couldn't bring herself to smile, "Alistair, Duncan requested that I find you and bring you back to his tent."

Alistair looked at the woman in front of him, she was stunning, but the pain behind her dark blue eyes was deep and raw. "I'm sorry. Do we know each other?"

"_I'm _sorry, I've forgotten my manners. I'm Siobhan. Duncan described you to me and you _are_ unmistakable."

"Really? Are you the new recruit from Highever? I thought we were getting a _man_ named Gilmere."

"Gil_more_" Siobhan corrected.

"Yes! That was it."

"Yes, I am a new recruit, but not the recruit you were expecting from Highever." Siobhan couldn't bring herself to explain so she said, "Ser Gilmore….won't be joining the Grey Wardens."

Alistair knew there was more to it, but let it lay. "Then we best not keep Duncan waiting."

They arrived in Duncan's tent and he asked them both to sit down and told the guard that they were not to be disturbed.

"Alistair as my junior warden, I want you to watch over the new recruits and Siobhan is a special case."

Siobhan looked at her hands, unable to meet either Alistair's or Duncan's eyes.

Alistair looked surprised and was going to make a joke, but the seriousness in Duncan eyes stayed his tongue, "How do you mean?"

"Siobhan is Teyrn Mac Tir's widow."

Alistair now understood the raw pain in her eyes, turning to Siobhan he said, "I'm _so sorry _Teyrna Mac Tir. If I had known it was you I wouldn't have made that crack about the blight bringing people together."

Siobhan could only nod.

To Duncan, Alistair said, "I don't understand. Why have we recruited the Teyrna?"

Duncan was about to speak when Siobhan interrupted, in a monotone voice she said, "I'm no longer Teyrna. Loghain planned to have me jailed for treason, my title was stripped and instead of letting me be arrested, Duncan conscripted me."

"_Treason?_" Alistair looked horrified.

Duncan picked up the story, "Loghain claims he has evidence regarding the selling of information to Orlais and was anticipating a confession from Bryce Cousland. The Cousland's were massacred by Howe just around the time Gareth and Fergus were killed, so Loghain and Howe can say whatever they want and who can counter them? Siobhan and her family have been falsely accused, Loghain wants her dead and I feared that she would never make it to trial alive. Cailan agreed as his hands were tied, so the only thing I could do was invoke the Right."

Alistair sat back and looked at Siobhan and then at Duncan, "I have this feeling that there's more to this then you're telling me."

"Yes… I'm pregnant."

"Loghain wanted to _arrest _the mother of his own grandchild?"

"Loghain's grief and paranoia have overwhelmed him. He's convinced himself that it isn't Gareth's child I carry. That would make killing me much easier for him to reconcile."

"Clearly he is unhinged, why doesn't King Cailan just lock him up."

"For Cailan to lock up Loghain on the eve of battle would all but guarantee a Darkspawn victory. Cailan knows this, which is why he does not move against Loghain."

Alistair stood up and ran his hands through is hair, "So Loghain's _'battle prowess'_ is more important than the life of a woman and her unborn child, especially as she carries the heir of Highever and Gwaren! Duncan, I thought more of Cailan… and of _you_! I've heard the Warden's say '_by any means necessary'_ but there are some things that are _more_ _evil_ than darkspawn." Alistair was confused and angry at his mentor's actions. They seemed so heartless.

Duncan hung his head. Alistair's accusations were no worse than what he had told himself. It went against his heart put a pregnant Siobhan through the joining and he felt deeply conflicted. He had see the look in Loghain's eyes, if he had let her be arrested, Siobhan would have suffered depredations that would have been worse than death. He owed Gareth a way to give Siobhan at least a fighting chance.

"Duncan couldn't you just conscripted her and held off on the joining until Cailan can investigate Loghain and Howe? Then she could just go back to being Teyrna."

"She would still have to undertake the Joining." Duncan said.

"Maker's sake, why?"

Siobhan found her voice and answered, "Assuming I _could_ defeat Loghain's charges, if Duncan were to conscript me then release me afterwards, people would see it as the Warden's meddling in Ferelden politics. This is the very thing that Loghain has been railing against and was used as an excuse to throw the warden's out of Ferelden two centuries ago. Besides, what if Cailan dies during the battle, especially as he's planning to fight on the front lines? Gareth is…was… sure that Anora is mixed up in all of this too. How do I know she won't carry out her father's designs?"

Alistair looked at Duncan and Siobhan, "What if we wait until after the baby is born to put her through the joining?" Duncan looked reluctant, Alistair, suddenly furious, threw caution to the wind looking at Siobhan he said, "Maker's sake, did he at least tell you that you and the baby _could_ _die_ from the joining, that you are taking poison into your body?"

"Alistair!" Duncan said the warning in his voice was clear.

Alistair felt torn, did he support Duncan, the man who saved him from the Chantry, who had been like a father to him or this woman, whose world has been torn apart and now faced a future over which she had no control? He knew what _that_ was like; it had been the story of his life until he chose to let Duncan recruit him. Even though Duncan had to Conscript him to take him out of the reach of the Chantry, this was something Alistair _wanted_. Becoming a Grey Warden had been an honor to him, a chance to fight evil. _Fight evil, not be a perpetrator of it,_ he thought. Resolute he looked at his mentor, "No, Duncan. I _cannot_ be a party to this! You need to tell Siobhan _everything_ and she needs to make her own decision. If she chooses not to go through the Joining, you _have_ to let her go. To do anything else would be unspeakably evil."

Duncan looked at Alistair, as a junior member of the order, he still didn't know everything himself about being a Grey Warden, _but he knows how to fight with heart and compassion, _Duncan thought proudly.

"Alistair, Duncan, I _will_ die if left to the hands of Loghain. I'm grateful for a least a _chance_ to live and then for a _chance_ to fight. I want to bring my child into a world that isn't overrun by darkspawn, I want to have the ability to clear my family name…" suddenly overcome with emotion Siobhan cried, "I owe it to Gareth to take every chance I can get…" she buried her face in her hands, her shoulders started to shake.

Duncan looked at Alistair, "Alright, I will tell Siobhan everything she needs to know to make an informed choice, and I will abide by whatever she says and so will _you_."

"As long as it's _her_ choice."

Duncan sat next to Siobhan and proceeded to explain the joining ritual, how the person took the taint into their bodies, how in return they could sense darkspawn, have more stamina and be better warriors. He told her about the nightmares, the shortened life-span, and about not being fertile. Duncan explained that some warden females were ordered to give up their children, but that was only done in and around Weisshaupt. If they tried that in Orlais or Ferelden, the First Warden would lose both countries.

Duncan spoke for a half hour, never once did Siobhan even react, except briefly over the issue of fertility. When Duncan was through, Siobhan looked at them both and said, "I understand Duncan and thank you for telling me everything. Alistair, I know it took courage to challenge Duncan, that you did it on my behalf is something I will never forget. I would like some time to think, but that's a luxury none of us possess, so I will go with what my heart tells me and that is to undergo the joining _after_ I have given birth. I have to ask though, what if you're not around to perform the joining? Do all wardens have the ability to perform it?"

Duncan shook his head

"Surely it can be taught or written down?" Alistair asked.

Duncan thought long and hard, he was violating so many Grey Warden strictures already, "We have a storage warehouse in Denerim, I will give you and Alistair the information on how to access it. In there are instructions and supplies for the joining ritual. Know this, if you become infected by the darkspawn taint before your joining, you will either have to undergo the joining then or you will die, pregnant or not.

Siobhan nodded, "I will take that risk Duncan."

Duncan nodded and looked grave, "I have broken a great many Grey Warden rules in telling you this. The Order keeps these things secret for very important reasons. However, I know the honor and integrity that runs through your very being. I sensed it when I met you in Gwaren. You and Gareth believed me without question, understood the threat of the darkspawn better than any of the Ferelden nobility _and_ you were willing to challenge the Crown on the Order's behalf. For that our Order owes you a debt and perhaps this is some form of repayment. That being said, Alistair you will still be taking your recruits to go into the Kocari Wilds, even though Siobhan isn't taking the joining yet, she must participate in this part of the ritual."

"Understood." Alistair said the relief was clear on his face.

"Now, there is one last critical thing we need to discuss." Duncan said looking pointedly at Alistair.

Alistair had a feeling he wasn't going to like what Duncan said, "Siobhan knows you are King Maric's son."

Alistair's open friendly expression closed like vault. His eyes darkened. "Might I ask how?"

"I told her." Holding up his hand as Alistair was about to speak, "Gareth Mac Tir was King Maric's squire. Once when Maric was delirious with a fever, he talked about you. According to Gareth your father said that one of his biggest regrets was letting you go. Gareth never spoke of this to anyone until we met at Gwaren, where I gave him leave to tell Siobhan."

Siobhan interjected, "Gareth never got the chance. Duncan told me before I went looking for you, although even if I hadn't known I would have guessed by the family resemblance."

Alistair sighed, "So you know I'm a bastard then."

"Technically, you're a _Royal_ Bastard, but I actually think you're kind of nice." Siobhan joked lightly.

Alistair found that he couldn't help but smile.


	16. Command Decisions

**AN: **Shout out to my reviewers: Shakespira, Eva Galana, RandomWittering, Warrose, A Forgotten Fairy, Requiem192 and Sniper1250.

A shout out to the Cheeky Monkeys, you know who you are!

Bioware owns everything!

**Chapter 15 – Command decisions**

Duncan, his face like thunder said, "Siobhan, I need to speak privately with Alistair. I would suggest that you get something to eat and visit the quartermaster if you need additional supplies. We will all gather in an hour and a half for your trip to the wilds.

"Of course Commander." Siobhan nodded, bowed and left the room

When Siobhan was gone, Duncan turned to Alistair, his voice grave, his eyes dark, "You are my _junior_ warden, don't think that because this situation turned out as it did gives you the right to challenge my actions and decisions in such as fashion_._ I should punish you for such insubordination."

The Alistair of yesterday would have meekly shrunk into himself for such a reprimand, but the Alistair standing in front of Duncan, stood tall and confident. He nodded and said with equal seriousness, "I understand Duncan, it undermines your authority to be challenged like that and if you think I need to be punished for it, that is your right as Commander."

"My rights as Commander seemed to matter little enough to you a half hour ago."

Alistair's calm began to waiver, "That's because putting a pregnant woman through the joining is _wrong_ - full stop. While you _are_ the commander, someone needed to point out to you that there are certain lines we must not cross. If we do then we are no better than those we are sworn to destroy. I realize none of the other wardens would have even _considered_ questioning your decision…I guess being junior warden just makes me less disciplined… or more stupid."

"I have been a warden for 29 ½ years _longer_ than you. There are many things we do as Wardens that are _necessary_ to accomplish our goals, just because you cannot stomach them does not mean that you have right to question my authority or my experience. This is your first and last pass, next time I won't be as forgiving."

"Duncan…"

Duncan put up his hand. "You need to understand that this was a _unique_ case. Now, you must swear to me that you will only perform the joining for Siobhan, if and only I cannot carry it out. There is more to recruiting wardens than a junior member of the order could ever hope to understand so I don't care if you are the _last_ warden in Ferelden, you must swear this to me or I will not give you the codes."

"Alistair knelt before Duncan and said, "I give you my oath, and swear upon my life to only use the joining ritual for Siobhan and _only_ in the case where you cannot perform the ritual."

Duncan nodded, "I accept your oath."

When Alistair stood up he was puzzled by the look on Duncan's face, he looked _proud_.

* * *

Siobhan knew that by going into the wilds she may be passing over the same soil that carried Gareth to his final destination. Unable to give him a proper funeral, she thought that if she could put _some_ kind of remembrance in the wilds it might help give her a measure of comfort. Thinking while sipping a cup of tea, she took out a piece parchment and wrote a poem typically read at Gwaren funerals:

_On the floating, shapeless oceans  
I did all my best to smile  
'til your singing eyes and fingers  
drew me loving into your eyes._

_And you sang "Sail to me, sail to me;  
Let me enfold you."_

_Here I am, here I am waiting to hold you.  
Did I dream you dreamed about me?  
Were you here when I was full sail?_

_Now my foolish boat is leaning, broken love lost on your rocks.  
For you sang, "Touch me not, touch me not, come back tomorrow."  
Oh my heart, oh my heart shies from the sorrow.  
I'm as puzzled as a newborn child.  
I'm as riddled as the tide.  
Should I stand amid the breakers?  
Or shall I lie with death my bride?_

_Hear me sing: "Swim to me, swim to me, let me enfold you."  
"Here I am. Here I am, waiting to hold you." *_

After she finished, she undid her long braid and gathered it into a ponytail, took her dagger and sliced it off. She braided the bundle of hair and wrapped it in the parchment securing it with a string. Shaking out her newly shortened hair, she remembered, how much Gareth loved to run his hands through it, tears streaming down her eyes, she placed the bundle in her pack and went to meet the others.

* * *

Gareth found the food in tribe Ywen to be quite good. It wasn't plentiful but it was flavorful. Since he had been here he had eaten nothing but a porridge that was creamy and quite filling, but now that the healers had cleared him for more substantial food, Udell saw to it that he experienced everyday tribal foods. He sat in Udell's hut sharing a typical mid-day meal which included roasted bird flesh, nuts, broad leafy greens, and some kind of soup made with grain that Udell called "spelt". Udell showed him how to wrap the nuts and flesh in the leaves and eat them. It was delicious and before he knew it, he had eaten all of it and polished off the soup as well.

Udell smiled and exclaimed, "_Sie schauen gesünder_!" Gareth looked puzzled, and Udell said in Ferelden "You look healthier! Please rest and let me answer what I am sure is your first question …how did you get here?"

Gareth smiled and wiped his mouth, "Are you also a mind reader?"

"It does not take a _sinnesleser_ like me to see what you would be most concerned about."

"Sinnesleser?"

"The closest translation in Ferelden would be _sense reader. _That is one of my gifts, the ability to read people through my senses. In your experience, the closest thing would be how an animal smells fear. A sense reader uses the totality of the senses, sight, hearing, smell, touch, and in some instances taste, to understand people, motivate them, and heal them. But that is all talk for later. Now I will tell you how you came to our village."

Udell explained how his scouts happened upon Gareth's group. How the dragon was severely injured and was changing back into her human form. At first glance, the scouts thought everyone was dead, however after the witch left the scouts saw that four bodies that still took breath. They brought Gareth and the other three back to the village. The other 10 soldiers were in either mangled or charred and were left in the wilds.

"We fought a dragon. You mean she was really a witch?"

"Yes, Flemeth, mother of the Witches of the Wilds. She is a powerful changer of shape and one of her forms is a dragon. That is how my scouts knew it was her."

"In my culture when people die valiantly we give them a funeral pyre, could I be lead back to the area to perform that?"

"That would be dangerous to my people and to you. I do not know yet if Flemeth is angry at us for rescuing you."

"Why would she be angry at your tribe?"

"Why _wouldn't_ She? She is hideous and beautiful, savage and serene, She simply is. Could you answer a question of mine?" Gareth nodded, "What were you doing in our wilds?"

"My soldiers and I were scouting the area trying to locate the extent of the encroaching horde of darkspawn, _dark murders_, and we were to report back to Ostagar…wait, did you say the other 10…_Zehn…_men?"

"Yes."

"We started as a group of _15_, if your scouts only saw 10 bodies then one of my soldiers must have escaped! Did they see _any_ traces of another body?"

"No, the scouts were certain there were 10 dead and 4 among the living."

More to himself than Udell, Gareth muttered, "Perhaps the soldier made it to Ostagar, maybe they sent out a search party." Then to the Udell he asked, "Could one of our search parties find your village?"

"Our village is well hidden amidst the trees. It is unlikely that a group of _ausländers…_foreigners would find us unless they were escorted here."

Gareth stood up, "I need to get to Ostagar. I need to find out what's happening." The dizziness hit him like a mace to the head and he fell to his knees.

"You my friend are not yet well enough to travel. I will send some of my scouts to see what they can find out, but you _must_ rest. I promise, we will talk more later."

Gareth was escorted back to his hut, by one of the village women and given a warm drink that quickly put him to sleep. Udell, still in his own hut, gathered his best scouts

"I have an important but dangerous task for you. I need information from the Tevinter ruins of Ostagar."

"Would this information be about our guests?" The lead scout asked

"Yes Geert, you are perceptive as always." Addressing all of the scouts, Udell continued, "Son of The Mac Tir was very agitated, speaking of the Dark Murders gathering in the wilds and moving towards the ruins. We need to know what the Ferelden's know. Son of The Mac Tir has been cut off from contact with the rest of his people and hopes they have sent out a search party. You all know dangers of having foreigners wandering unescorted in our wilds. If there is such a group they must be found. While you are gone I will determine if we have antagonized Flemeth by harboring our guests. Go with caution but with haste."

The scouts bowed to Udell and left. Udell closed the door to his hut and crossed the room to a curtain. Pulling aside the curtain revealed a large ornately carved wooden altar centered in a wooden shrine.

* * *

Siobhan met Alistair, Duncan and two other men at the warden campfire. Alistair noticed Siobhan's short hair and commented on it.

Siobhan simply shrugged, "It's easier to keep this way."

Duncan stood before them, "So we are all finally together."

Siobhan looked at the other two recruits. One was a stout fellow with very short hair. He held himself with an arrogance born of insecurity. Siobhan had seen it before. Undoubtedly he was a skilled knight, but at the moment, he facing the unknown he seemed very unsure of himself. The other was a thinner more wiry looking bloke with shaggy black hair and a permanent smirk on his face. Siobhan guessed him to be a rogue or pick pocket. Alistair cleared his throat, gesturing to each recruit as he introduced them, starting with the stout man, "This is Ser Jory a Knight from Redcliff and this is Daveth, a…ah…_fellow_ from Denerim."

Daveth elbowed Jory, and bounced on the balls of his feet, "I'm a fellow now."

"This is our newest recruit, Siobhan, recently from Highever."

Siobhan nodded at the other two men, "Well met."

Daveth waggled an eyebrow at Siobhan, "Well met _indeed_."

Siobhan looked at Daveth with eyes of ice and then looked to Duncan, "What is our mission Commander?"

"You four will be headed into the Korcari Wilds to perform two tasks. The first is to obtain three vials of darkspawn blood, one for each recruit. There was once a grey warden archive in the wilds abandoned long ago when we could no longer maintain such remote outposts. It has recently come to our attention that several scrolls were left behind magically sealed to protect them. Alistair, I want you to retrieve them, if you can, and bring them back here."

"What do the scrolls contain?" Siobhan asked.

"The scrolls contain treaties promising support to the Grey Wardens. They may become necessary in the days to come. May the Maker watch over your path, I will see you all when you return." Looking directly at Alistair, "Alistair, I want you to look out for your charges. Return quickly and safely."

"I will Duncan." Then he joined the recruits as they headed for the gates leading to the Korcari Wilds.

When they entered, Siobhan looked around and thought "Wilds" was a fitting word for this place. An infinite variety of plants grew in great abundance spread haphazardly as far at the eye could see. Paths wandered hither and yon, some blocked by trees that had fallen so long ago, that they too were carpeted by the untamed flora. Ruins, partly concealed in the haze, dotted the horizon.

Siobhan thought about Gareth and Fergus. They would have entered the wilds through the same gate and walked this same first path.

As the group paused to get its bearings, Siobhan noticed a patch of Andraste's Grace, her favorite flower and ever since their courtship Gareth had shamelessly spoiled with bouquets. Unobserved by the other two recruits she took the parcel containing the parchment and her braid and laid it among the patch of flowers, whispering, "Rest in the Maker's grace my beloved."

She turned from the flowers and without a backward glance looked towards the path before her. Her face was once again a study in focus and determination.

Alistair had heard her, seen what she did, and it tugged at his own heart. He admired her strength in going on despite the magnitude of her loss and was grateful that he had helped in some measure by defying Duncan.

Siobhan could feel the tension emanating from the small group. Jory especially looked increasingly uncomfortable. It wasn't long before they got their first taste of battle as they fought and easily dispatched an onslaught of violent white wolves. As they continued down the path, they heard a sound. Moving towards it they saw a soldier lying on ground surrounded by the remains of carts, humans, and bloodied, dead pack animals. As they approached the solder moaned and tried to crawl.

"Not half as dead as he looks." Daveth quipped.

Siobhan knew by his armor that he wasn't from the Gwaren or Highever armies. She knelt in front of him, and he grabbed her wrist, "M'Lady, our scouts…overtaken by darkspawn." His voice strained by pain, "…they came _out_ of the ground!"

Between Alistair and Siobhan they bandaged the wounded man and he limped away towards the gates to Ostagar.

Jory looked at Alistair, "Did you see that, an _entire_ patrol killed by darkspawn."

"We'll be fine if we're careful." Alistair said in calm and confident voice

Siobhan looked at Jory and gently reminded him, "This _is_ part of our test."

Jory grew more agitated, "Maker's sake, there are _four_ of us, how many darkspawn can we slay, a dozen? What if we face 20 or a hundred?

"We are no danger of walking into the bulk of the horde." Alistair's voice continued to be calm and controlled.

Jory looked down his nose at Alistair, "How do _you_ know? I'm no coward, but this a foolish and reckless, we should go back."

Alistair began to understand how difficult it was for a leader to face challenges to their authority. He looked Jory directly in the eyes and in clipped tones said, "That is _not_ your decision to make, it's _mine_. We _will_ move forward."

Jory looked broke eye contact first then Alistair continued, his voice softer. "Know this…all Grey Wardens can sense darkspawn. Whatever their cunning, I _guarantee_ they won't take us by surprise."

Daveth piped up, "See we might die but we will be warned about it first."

"That doesn't mean I will make it easy." Alistair looked at Daveth.

No sooner had they started to move then Alistair shouted a warning, within 5 minutes, their nostrils were assailed by the smell of rotting death and their ears were filled with banshee wails. Large muscled creatures ran towards them. The faces looked like a mask of death, devoid of skin, showing nothing but sinuous mottled muscle. Within minutes they were fully engaged with the creatures in a howling cloud of dirt, blood and sweat. Siobhan yelled herself horse as she sliced, stabbed and bashed at their attackers with Alistair as her shield partner.

She saw Jory fall, "Daveth!" She yelled, "disengage we will cover." She and Alistair moved together to protect the rogue and provide shield cover for Jory. Seeing Jory fall, remembering the site of the injured solider, and thoughts of Gareth fueled the battle fury raging in Siobhan. Smashing another of the creatures to its knees, she plunged her sword in its eye. Pulling it out she saw an arrow fly by her head and looked up to see a smaller creature with pointed ears knocking arrows at them. Looking at Alistair, she said, "Cover Daveth" and ran forward using her shield as cover against the arrows. She charged the small archer taking him down quickly, stunning him with her shield and practically decapitating him with her sword. Hearing a sound behind her she turned to strike, Alistair seeing the look in Siobhan's eyes slowed up and yelled, "Hold!"

Siobhan realizing that it was Alistair, immediately dropped her sword arm. Breathing heavily and wiping the blood and sweat from her eyes said, "Are we in the clear?"

"For now, yes. What in the Maker's name do you think you were doing charging the genlock like that?"

Siobhan shrugged, "Jory was down and Daveth is a rogue, I figured they needed your shield more than I did."

"_You_ figured?"

Siobhan realized that she had overstepped her authority on the battlefield and was about to apologize, but Alistair said, "Let's tend to Jory first."

Jory was alright for the most part; embarrassed that he had fallen so early in the battle. Once he was given a healing potion and was able to stand up, Alistair took him aside, "Jory, darkspawn are creatures of indescribable horror, you are a good warrior or Duncan would never have recruited you – remember that."

Jory looked at Alistair with respect in his eyes, "Thank you Warden."

Alistair gathered them together and explained about the darkspawn they had fought. He explained how the large human shaped ones were Hurlocks and the shorter ones Genlocks. He explained that within these types of darkspawn, as with other types, are alphas who were the commanders and generals of the darkspawn armies. He explained that alphas tend to stand out among the average group of darkspawn."

Jory asked, "What do you want us to do if we see an alpha?"

"It is best that you let me take on the alpha, speaking of which, now that you have killed your first darkspawn, I would like to discuss our tactics. First of all, in a melee situation, Daveth, as a rogue I need you to use your ability to flank the darkspawn and be in position to back stab. Jory, you need to raise your shield higher as the Hurlock that knocked you down was able to reach over your shield. Siobhan, I want you to be Daveth's shield partner. Jory you pair with me."

"What about arrow attacks?" Siobhan asked.

"If you see any arrow attacks, Jory and I will advance, using our shields as cover. If it's a magical attack, let _me_ move forward first and you and Jory provide shield cover for Daveth. Lastly, I don't want to see _anyone_ _ever_ _again_ charge a darkspawn on their own during this mission. Understood?"

"All three recruits nodded, although the two men looked pointedly at Siobhan while they did."

Siobhan looked at Alistair, "It was stupid for me to charge like that, and while it worked it was a dangerously risky tactic. I apologize Warden Alistair."

Alistair merely nodded, "Now let's get our vials of darkspawn blood and go find those treaties."

* * *

*Lyrics to "Song to the Siren" by This Mortal Coil


	17. A moment ago

**AN**: Thanks to my reviewers Liso66, fifespice, Fairy, Shakespira, Sniper1250, Eva Galana. Also a shout out to all the Cheeky Monkeys!

Some dialogue is from the game, but tweaked for purposes of the plot. Bioware owns all.

**Chapter 16 A moment before**

As they battled more darkspawn, Alistair observed the recruits. _Jory's confidence is increasing, Daveth is solid rogue, and Siobhan is one of the most skilled fighters I've seen. I know my experience with female nobles could fit in a thimble, but clearly Siobhan is unique. She's certainly nothing like Arlessa Isolde, thank the Maker. _

Siobhan also thought about the members of their party. _Jory has to manage his fear or won't survive being a Grey Warden. Daveth, while a lecherous wise ass, is a good rogue and really seems to believe in the Warden's cause. Alistair, is so young and untested as a commander, but the strength he showed in standing up to Duncan tells me there is something deeper. _

Finally they reached the ruins Duncan described. Siobhan was the first one to see the _remains_ of a chest. As Alistair joined her she said, "They're not here."

He didn't have a chance to reply as they all noticed a woman descending the stairs. She was striking, both in her physical attributes and in what she was wearing. She was of medium height with black hair pulled back in a loose twist. Her face was exotically beautiful with yellow, almost cat-like eyes. Her shirt was no more than a wrap that covered her ample essentials and left _little_ to the imagination. One arm was sheathed in black leather that matched her skirts. Her necklaces were distinctly tribal.

She looked at the party and in a cultured voice laced with disdain said, "Well, well what have we here? Are you a vulture I wonder, a scavenger poking amidst a corpse whose bones were _long_ since cleaned? Or merely an intruder come into these darkspawn-filled wilds of mine in search of easy prey?"

The small party was monetarily speechless.

The woman snapped, "What say you hmm scavenger or intruder?"

Siobhan answered, "Neither, we are Grey Wardens looking for items that were held in this chest."

The woman replied, "I have watched your progress for some time. Where do they go? Why are they here? Now you disturb ashes none have touched for so long. _Why_?"

Alistair whispered to Siobhan, "Don't answer her, she appears to be Chasind and that means that others may be near by."

The woman apparently also had preternatural hearing, "Oh, you fear _barbarians_ will be swooping down upon you!"

Alistair mumbled "Yes, swooping is bad."

Daveth said nervously, "She's a witch of the wilds she is!"

Jory whispered, "Hush Daveth, do you want her to turn us into toads?"

Siobhan closed her eyes for a moment, annoyed and embarrassed by her companion's attitudes.

The woman scoffed, "Witch of the wilds? Such idol- fancy those legends, do you not think for yourselves? You there" she motioned to Siobhan, "as a woman surely you must think with a clearer head."

Ignoring the question Siobhan replied, "My name is Siobhan, what may I call you?"

"A civil response. You may call _me_ Morrigan. You sought something in that chest, something that is here no longer."

Alistair piped up again, "Here no longer! You stole them didn't you? You're some kind of sneaky…_witch-thief_."

Siobhan stifled a chuckle.

Morrigan responded, "How _very eloquent_. How does one steal from dead men?"

"Those were Grey Warden property!" Alistair argued.

"Invoke a name that means nothing here I will not be intimidated!"

Siobhan put her hand on Alistair's shoulder and squeezed, then she looked at Morrigan,

"Morrigan, these are important Grey Warden documents. Do you know what has happened to them?"

"I do."

Alistair was tensing under Siobhan's hand, but kept silent.

"Please, could you give them to us or take us to them?"

"I cannot give them to you, as t'was not I who took them, but I can take you to them. They are with my mother."

"Thank you Morrigan. Shall we follow you?"

Morrigan nodded.

Siobhan went first, followed closely by Alistair.

Daveth was nervous, but Jory pointed out that anywhere warmer than this would be welcomed.

The meeting with Morrigan's mother was a disturbing experience for Siobhan. The woman was old, and seemed to vacillate between periods of lucidity and cackling insanity.

She gave them the scrolls, when Alistair started to sputter at the lack of seals. Morrigan's mother told him that the seals wore off long ago and that she had _protected_ them. When asked _why_ all she said was "Tell them this blight's threat is greater than they realize."

When asked what she meant, she rambled "Either the threat is more or they realize less. Or perhaps the threat is nothing! Or perhaps they realize nothing!" Then she started to cackle.

The old woman then became silent and focused on Siobhan. Her gaze was intense and penetrating as she said. "An open mind yet not made of mush, so much about you is uncertain, yet I believe. Do I? Well it seems I do."

Siobhan looked back at the woman, "Pardon me for asking, but did you perchance see a party of soldiers come by here about two weeks ago? They wore shields with either a yellow wyvern or a laurel wreath?"

The woman's eyes narrowed, "I see many things, however, soldiers coming through here do so at their _own_ peril." Then she started to cackle, again, "Listen to me, I sound as mysterious as the stories Morrigan tells! Morrigan, please see _your _guests out."

As they followed Morrigan, Siobhan looked back at the old woman, their eyes locked and the woman quickly turned around and walked into the hut.

* * *

They arrived back in Ostagar, exhausted but pleased that they accomplished both of Duncan's tasks. Jory and Daveth were very anxious about the joining and Siobhan was emotionally spent. Between grieving for her family, for Gareth, and then encountering Morrigan and her mother, it took all of her energy to stay focused. Still her mind wandered, _the old woman knows more about Gareth than she let on, but what? Is it possible that he's still alive?_ At that moment they met up with Duncan forcing her to concentrate on matters at hand.

The Commander wasn't particularly interested in the two women they'd met in the wilds. He went so far as to shrug off Alistair's comment about them being apostates, by saying sharply "I know you were once a templar, but Chantry business is not _ours_, we must concentrate on the joining."

Duncan and Alistair led the recruits to a secluded part of the ruins. Siobhan was nervous. She knew that Duncan wanted to keep it secret that she wasn't taking the joining. She wondered if she should even be _watching_ it, and looked a Duncan questioningly. The return look he gave her was as clear as if he had spoken, and she stayed where she was.

Duncan explained that the Grey Wardens drank of darkspawn blood and mastered their taint. That it was this mastery of the taint that was the source of a Grey Warden's power and of victory against the Archdemon.

Alistair added, "Those who survive the joining become immune to the taint."

At Duncan's bidding, Alistair then spoke the simple words of the ritual, "Join us brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be forsworn and should you perish, know that your sacrifice shall not be forgotten and that one day _we_ shall join you."

Duncan then gave the chalice to Daveth.

The next several minutes were like scenes from a nightmare

Daveth drink from the chalice and within seconds he grabbed his throat in agony as if something was trying to rip him apart from the inside. His eyes turned white and he collapsed to the stone floor. Duncan knelt next to his still form and said, "I'm sorry Daveth"

Seeing this, Jory tried to back out of the joining and pulled his sword. Duncan took out his dar'misu and ran him through. Siobhan would forever remember the shock in Jory's eyes as he fell to the ground.

She stood there amidst the bodies of two men who, only minutes ago, were alive. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves then looked up at Duncan and at Alistair. Duncan suddenly looked older, as if each of the two deaths had aged him, his eyes held a faraway look as he surveyed the area. Alistair met her gaze directly. Siobhan placed her hand to her stomach and with her eyes tried to convey all the gratitude she felt.

* * *

The Chasind scouts made it to Ostagar and concealed themselves in the camp near the bridge. They listened and watched.

* * *

Gareth had woken up from a very deep sleep. Donnelly and Liam were now awake but Fergus was still unconsciousness.

Donnelly spoke first, "Are we captives Your Grace?"

"No, we are guests of the Yuen tribe of the Chasind. Their scouts rescued us and their healers have been taking care of us."

Liam's eyes grew wide, "We're among the Chasind barbarians?"

Gareth looked sternly at Liam, "Do you know what the _Orlesians_ call _us_?"

"No Sire."

"Barbarians."

Liam understood immediately, "Sorry Your Grace."

Gareth nodded and continued, "These people rescued the four of us from a _shape-changing witch_, healed us, and have sent scouts to Ostagar help us get more information. I think _friends_ would be a better choice of words. How are you both feeling?"

Both men indicated that while weak, they weren't in pain. Gareth explained what had happened thus far. He told them what he knew about the tribe and of Udell, their chief.

Then they heard Fergus groan, "Oriana?" Gareth went to him, "Fergus, it's Gareth. It's alright, you're safe."

Fergus opened his eyes, "Gareth?"

Gareth smiled relief clearly in his eyes, "Glad you decided to join party old man."

Fergus tried to smile, and said weakly, "You throw...awful parties."

* * *

"Duncan, how do you _want_ me to act?"

"You are a Grey Warden and even without the taint you will fight and _act_ as one. When the battle is over I will explain to the other Wardens what is happening, but not now." Duncan was impressed with her stoicism, many would have been sickened physically and mentally from what they had just seen, but he suspected that Siobhan had been through so much in so little time, that this was just another bucket of water into her well.

"Siobhan, the King has requested that you accompany me to the war council."

"What about Alistair?" Siobhan frowned.

"Alistair, you are to wait here. Siobhan's presence was _specifically_ requested."

If Alistair was feeling annoyed at being left out, it wasn't apparent on his face. He simply nodded to Duncan.

They arrived at the war council, which was an important name for what was really a secluded area containing a long wooden table. The voices reached Siobhan first as she recognized Loghain's condescending tones.

"…The darkspawn horde is too dangerous for you to be _playing_ _hero_ on the front line,"

"Then perhaps we should wait for Orlesian forces to join us after all."

"I must repeat my protest to your _fool_ notions that we need the _Orleans_ to defend ourselves!"

Cailan's voice was sharp, "It is not a fool notion! Our arguments with the Orlesians are a thing of the past, and you _need to remember_ who is King!"

"How fortunate _Maric_ didn't live to see his son ready to hand Ferelden over to those who enslaved us for a century!"

"Then our current forces will have to suffice, won't they?" Noticing Duncan and Siobhan had arrived. His eyes searched Siobhan's. She simply smiled and bowed, as did Duncan.

"Welcome, it's good to see you Warden Siobhan, congratulations on joining the ranks of the legendary Grey Wardens."

Siobhan suddenly realized why Cailan requested her presence. She was safe from Loghain and Cailan wanted to rub Loghain's nose in it.

"Thank you your Majesty. I am honored to join their ranks"

Refusing to acknowledge Siobhan, Loghain sneered, "Your fascination with glory and legends will be your undoing Cailan. We must attend to reality."

"That is _why_ I've asked Duncan and Siobhan to join us as we review the battle strategy."

Cailan then explained how the main army, along with the wardens, would draw the darkspawn into charging them. He will send a signal for the beacon on Ishal to be lit. The beacon would let Loghain know when to lead the Gwaren forces in a charge from cover, thereby flanking the darkspawn.

Cailan asked, "Duncan are your men ready for battle?"

"They are your majesty. Who shall light the beacon?"

Loghain said off-handedly, "It isn't a dangerous job, but it _is_ critical. I'll have a few of my men stationed there."

"If it's critical then we will send our best, Alistair and Siobhan, to make sure it gets done."

"Both of us Sire?" Siobhan asked.

"It's best if you both go." Cailan said softly but firmly

"Cailan you depend upon these wardens _too_ much. Especially as they gave safe harbor to the daughter of a traitorous family!"

Cailan turned to Loghain, "_Enough_ of your conspiracy theories Loghain!"

Cailan then got a faraway look in his eyes, "I cannot wait for that glorious moment, the Grey Wardens battle beside and the King of Ferelden to stem the tide of evil."

"Yes, a _glorious_ moment for us all." Loghain said as he stalked from the council, leaving only Siobhan, Duncan and Cailan.

Siobhan said "Sire, permission to speak freely?"

"You never have to ask that of me Siobhan."

"Cailan, why are you on the front line? I don't believe for a moment that you are 'playing the hero' It's dangerous and you now it. You're the King of Ferelden. You are more valuable to us alive."

Cailan took Siobhan's hands in his, "Siobhan, my men are facing an evil that they have never seen before. I must stand confidently _with_ them not tucked away somewhere, hiding. I have to be strong _for_ them, to give them the confidence they need to fight."

"Then why do you let Loghain think that you're just doing this for glory?

"Because I will never let Loghain see into my heart or mind _ever_ again!"

Siobhan saw the hurt and anger in his eyes, it was like looking at a young boy abandoned by his father. In a sense, that's exactly what had happened. Twice, once with Maric and now with Loghain.

Siobhan gently touched his cheek, "But what if you don't survive the battle?"

"Why do you think I'm sending you and Alistair to Ishal?" Siobhan arched an eyebrow "Yes, I have total confidence in your ability to get the job done. But if I die, Alistair is the last of the Theirin line. If I die, he needs to take the throne, not Anora, _never Anora_! You, Siobhan are the last of the Couslands and inside you is a child of Cousland and Mac Tir blood. You and Alistair represent the last of three of the most powerful families in Ferelden. You _have_ to survive."

"Cailan, _so do you_." Tears started to form in Siobhan's eyes.

Cailan caught the tear on his finger, and smiled, "Then you better light that damn beacon."

Siobhan smiled through her tears, "Yes your Majesty!" Then she sobered, "Cailan, Gareth loved you as a brother, and so do I. Maker watch over you and bring you back to us safely." With that, she gave him a kiss on the cheek. He held her hands to his chest and said, "Farewell My Lady."


	18. Picking up the Pieces

AN: L_**et's try that again. **_ Sorry folks, problems with the upload and I failed to read it over to detected the upload issues - I'm a dufus.

Thank you so very much for all your reviews. The are such an encouragement. Thank you also to my wonderful, amazing beta Nithu. Any errors in the are all mine not hers.

Some of the dialouge is from the game, but with my own spin for purposes of plot and character development.

As always a shout out the Cheeky Monkeys!

Bioware owns all, I'm just playing in their sandbox.

-o-o-o-

**Chapter 17 - Picking up the pieces**

On Udell's altar sat a leather pouch, a small metal basin, flint and steel, and a drum. The drum was a hand's span tall, with a round wooden frame, inside which was a handle carved into the shape of a leaping wolf. The drum's surface was painted with symbols and runes.

A coded knock sounded at the door.

"Enter."

In walked a younger man, dressed in similar fashion to Udell but with symbols painted on his chest and arms that matched the drum. He bowed to Udell.

"Thank you, Devdan_,_ for coming so quickly." He motioned to the drum, which Devdan took, sitting near the pillows off to the side of the altar.

Taking the pouch from the altar, Udell removed several oil soaked sticks, which he placed in the small metal bowl and lit on fire. Eyes closed, he inhaled the sage oil smoke as it began to waft through the room. He sat downon the pillows, crossed his legs and closed his eyes. In a few moments he became very still, his breathing steady and rhythmic. Devdan started to beat the drum softly, watching the rise and fall of Udell's chest. The drum sounded like a beating heart and, as Udell's breathing became deeper, Devdan increased the volume of the beats. He kept this rhythm constant; his arms strong with muscles developed precisely for what he was doing.

Udell felt his heartbeat and the beat of the drum become one. He was in the hut, and then he traveled through the village and into the wilds. His essence moved towards the wilds and sensed the Dark ones. Their stench enveloped Udell as he heard the song they followed, a song both painful and beautiful. Travelling on, Udell's awareness was drawn to a bright light in the distance. At first the light had no form, no beginning and no end. Then it coalesced into the brilliant presence that represented Flemeth. Reaching out with his senses, Udell did not taste anger. He tasted…indecision. He smelled…confusion. He saw a huge web like structure begin to spin from the presence. Faster and faster it spun. In it Udell heard voices; one sounded like Gareth. One was a young woman whose voice held great sadness. Again he smelled the Dark ones, but the smell came from the web. Symbols, feeling, and sounds spun out from the web, faster, more chaotic, threatening to overwhelm Udell. Suddenly the wolf leapt in front of him urging him away, refusing to leave until he was back in his hut, the drum beats slowing as Udell opened his eyes.

* * *

The scouts, Geert, Searle, and Ahren, had seen the exchange at the long wooden table. Udell had chosen them for their ability to be stealthy, keenly observant, and to understand modern Ferelden. What they heard from the shadows was troubling. The Mac Tir was clearly filled with a murderous rage and the Ferelden King seemed unaware of the man's true threat. The woman, Siobhan, seemed to be central to the Mac Tir's ire. Looking at her shortened hair, Geert realized that she was clearly the same woman who left the braid and the poem at the entrance to the wilds. It went against their custom to disturb a death token, but he knew the hair and the poem would be important to Udell, so he had Searle copy the poem and took a sample of the braid. Once Siobhan and the king left the area, they waited for several minutes, then moved closer to the bridge so they would have a view of the battlefield.

* * *

Udell came to the hut to speak with Gareth, and when he saw all four men awake, he smiled. Gareth introduced Udell to his men and to Fergus.

"Gareth, could I speak with you in private?"

"Yes, although Fergus is still too weak to leave the hut. Is it alright if we talk somewhere else?"

"Of course."

Gareth and Udell left the hut and sat by the small sapling at the center of the village.

"Gareth, are you familiar with our spiritual practices?

"Somewhat. My father wanted me to learn points of view that differed from or opposed our Chantry teachings. As I recall, you follow spirits and have out of body quests, correct?"

Udell smiled, "Yes, although we call them _spirit journeys, _or_ geistreisen _in our language, but that is only an easy name for something that is nameless. Following the spirits is an interesting choice of words and fairly accurate. The spirits guide us. They are intertwined with all aspects of our lives. Unlike your Chantry, we are not petitioners of an entity; we are partners with the spirits and they lead us to answers and help us solve our problems. Does that make sense?"

"I believe it does."

"Good. I ask because if it didn't, it would make what I have to tell you more difficult."

Gareth remembered their last conversation, "You had a spirit journey to determine if Flemeth is angry with your village?"

_This man misses nothing._ "I did, and while I haven't fully incorporated all that I experienced, I do know that Flemeth is _not_ angry. However, at some point she set in motion a complex plan. I know not what it is, only that it doesn't seem to be evolving exactly as she anticipated and she is making changes. I know that it involves the Dark Murderers, a young woman…and you."

"A young woman? Could it be my wife?"

"I do not know. In a spirit journey things do not look as the do here, and much of what you _see_ is symbolic or picked up by other senses. In this case, I was unable to see who was involved this plan, but I heard voices, yours and a young woman. I knew it was you because I know your voice. The young woman's voice held a deep sadness as if she had lost something.

"Siobhan was with child! Maker, did she loose the baby?"

Udell shook his head, "The woman's sadness didn't taste or smell like the loss of a child. I am sorry Gareth. I seem to have created more questions than I have answered. We will know more once the scouts return, and then some of what I experienced in the spirit journey will make more sense."

"Don't apologize Udell. We can never repay you for all you have done for us and _continue_ to do. I'm _relieved_ that our rescue has not brought Flemeth's ire onto your people. We owe you much."

Udell found Gareth's perception, and genuine kindness to be a powerful combination. _He has the ability to show heart and not seem weak._ _This man could inspire fierce loyalty, and unite many under his banner. There is little doubt why Flemeth would want him, but for what purpose?_

* * *

The scouts left for the wilds. There was nothing left for them to see except more death, more blood and more suffering. The Dark Murderers did their job with horrifying efficiency; there would not be a living soul left in the fields or the ruins. The scouts knew Siobhan had gone to the tower along with the man who resembled the Ferelden King. Later, they had seen an inhumanly large bird leave the tower with two people in its talons. The scouts could not tell who they were or whether or not they were alive. The bird appeared to be headed into the wilds and that meant it was a shape shifter, which _meant_ that it had something to do with Flemeth or one of her daughters. Geert knew that to go _near_ Flemeth's hut would mean certain death, so he led the other two scouts away from her hut along a different trail to the Village. They had much to tell Udell.

The large, yellow-eyed spider that had been watching the scouts from the brush, scuttled away.

* * *

Morrigan watched Siobhan as she thrashed feverishly on the bed, clearly in the throws of a nightmare.

Siobhan in a haze of sleep and fever remembered.

_The tower has been taken over by darkspawn?_

_Well, Alistair you wanted to be in a battle. _

_The stench, the tainted foul creatures are everywhere!_

_It smells like blood, innards, and lyrium. _

_Push forward, level after bloody level._

_The beacon! Alistair, light it! I'll deal with the Ogre._

_Ogre's frozen. I'll slide under it and slice through the muscles in his hindquarters. _

_Maker the hide on this beast's back is like rock._

_Again, stab again, and again. _

_Alistair lit the beacon! _

_Maker preserve us, we've been ambushed!_

The woman let out a small scream and continued to thrash.

* * *

"Mother, what have you _done_?"

"Have you forgotten how to use your eyes? What do you think I've done?

"Those scouts _saw_ you; they could have followed you here."

Laughing, Flemeth said, "What, and risk death at the hands of the mighty Witch of the Wilds? You under estimate their faith Morrigan."

"Will the woman and her child live?"

"Yes, she is a strong one. She will find an end to this blight."

"The man certainly didn't seem all that intelligent. '_Sneaky witch-thief' _indeed!" Morrigan rolled her yellow eyes.

"You won't need him for his _brains_ girl."

"Are you going to tell her that her husband still lives?

"Their destinies lie along separate paths…for now. She is still with child, and has not gone through the Grey Warden joining. Once the baby is born, she _must_ join the Wardens to be able to end this blight. You _must_ make sure that happens, Morrigan; if she tries to back out, ensure that she has no choice."

"I…I understand Mother."

* * *

Siobhan woke up in a bed in a small hut, disoriented but no longer in pain. Under the sheet she discovered that she was naked, except for her breast band and smalls. Sitting up slowly, she looked up to see the young woman with the yellow eyes. It was hard to concentrate, but after a moment she thought she remembered her name, "Morrigan?"

"Yes. I am surprised you remember."

"Is my baby alright?"

"Yes, your injuries were severe but you are healthy now, and your baby is fine. Do you remember Mother rescuing you?"

Siobhan was still trying to clear the fog from her mind, "Your Mother…_wait_, what happened to the armies, to the King?"

"The man who was to respond to your signal quit the field. The darkspawn won your battle. Those he abandoned were massacred."

"Loghain _quit_ the field." Siobhan gasped, "The king, Duncan, the other wardens…are dead?"

Morrigan nodded. "The darkspawn now carpet Ostagar, as well as the wilds."

The meaning of what Morrigan said began to sink in; her eyes became glassy with tears. Using the sheet to wipe them, she tried to stem their flow. "What…happened to Alistair?"

"By Alistair, I assume you mean the suspicious dim-witted one. He is outside by the fire, very worried about you in fact."

"Does he know about what happened?"

Morrigan nodded, "He is not taking it very well. I am sure knowing that you are well will help."

"Thank you for helping us, for healing me."

" 'Twas not I. It was my mother who picked you both off the tower and brought you here to heal you. She would like to speak with you when you are able."

"Your Mother? Why?

"I do not know. She rarely tells me her plans." Morrigan turned towards the door.

"Morrigan?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

"You… are welcome." Siobhan thought it odd that her expression of gratitude has some how startled Morrigan_._

Siobhan got out of bed and donned her armor. She stood there in the middle of the hut, tears still threatening to overwhelm her. Thoughts of Gareth flooded her mind, now mingled with thoughts of Cailan, of his gentle farewell, of Duncan…all gone beyond her. Now she and Alistair were the only wardens left in Ferelden and she was really only a Warden in name. Much rested on Alistair's untried shoulders and she vowed to help ease that burden, to figure out how to get them through this blight, and to put Alistair on the throne or at least remove _Anora_. Even with the enormity of those tasks laid before her, she also needed to clear her family's name and bring a baby into this world. The last being her most treasured responsibility, to make sure Gareth lived on through their child.

That made her remember Morrigan's mother and the feelings she'd had after returning from the wilds. Siobhan squared her shoulders and opened the door to the hut; where she saw Alistair sitting by the fire. Even in profile the look on his face was heart breaking; like her, he had lost everything. She walked over to him and gently said "Alistair?"

Startled, he looked up; seeing Siobhan standing there was the answer to his prayers. Standing quickly, "You're alright, and…the…" he stammered. For the last three days, he'd kept vigil outside the hut worrying about Siobhan. Morrigan had told him about the battle, about Loghain quitting the field. He was dumbstruck by the turn of events and grief-stricken over the loss of Duncan and the rest of the Wardens. He prayed to the Maker that Siobhan and her baby would survive.

"Touching her stomach, she smiled softly, "Yes, we're _both_ fine." Placing a hand on his shoulder, "I am so sorry about Duncan, I know what he meant to you."

"I can't believe he's gone." Alistair's voice was a whisper. "I can't believe Loghain quit the field. Cailan and the rest of the Wardens…dead? It seems unreal. If it weren't for Morrigan's mother we'd be dead on top of the tower."

It was at that moment Morrigan's mother appeared in front of the hut. Siobhan turned; bowing to the old woman she said, "I understand from Morrigan that we have you to thank for our rescue. Might we know your name?"

"Names are pretty, but useless, the Chasind folk call me Flemeth. I suppose that will do."

"_The_ Flemeth? The Flemeth from the legends?...You _are_ the Witch of the Wilds" Alistair said, with alarm.

"And what does that mean? I could have left you on that roof to die."

"Point taken. I apologize." Alistair said, "But if you are powerful enough to have rescued us then why didn't you save Duncan? He is…was…our leader."

"I am sorry about your Duncan but your grief must come later. Duty must come first. It has always been the Grey Wardens duty to unit the lands against a blight or did that change when I wasn't looking?"

"The land is hardly united, thanks to Loghain." Alistair sneered.

"Men's hearts hold shadows darker than any tainted creature. This is particularly true of Loghain. He does not see that the evil behind the Blight is the true threat." Flemeth remarked.

"The Archdemon." Alistair said knowingly.

"Then we must defeat it." Siobhan said.

Alistair looked at Siobhan as if she had just sprouted a tail, "By _ourselves_? No Grey Warden has ever defeated a Blight without the army of at least a half dozen nations at its back." Then his expression changed to one of self-doubt, his voice tight, he said, "Not to mention, I _don't know _how!"

Looking at Alistair, Siobhan asked, "How to kill an Archdemon or how to raise an army? Those are two separate questions."

Flemeth smiled approvingly, "Have the wardens no allies these days?"

Alistair began to think, "Well, Cailan was supposed to have requested help from the wardens in Orlais. Wait! Arl Eamon's forces should still be at Redcliff. We need to see the Arl, he would _never_ stand for what Loghain did and he's Cailan's uncle, well-respected in the Landsmeet."

Siobhan smiled, encouragingly "What about the treaties?"

"Maker you're right. Those treaties are with the Dwarves, the Dalish, and the Circle. The treaties call on them to assist the Grey Wardens in times of a Blight. They are obligated by them."

"Dwarves, elves, mages, this Arl Eamon, This sounds like an army to me." Flemeth said.

Alistair looked at Siobhan, "So can we _do_ this, travel to Redcliff, Orzamar and the other places and build an army?"

"Hasn't it always been a Grey Warden's duty to stand against the Blight? It isn't a matter of _can_ we do this, we _must_." Siobhan said resolutely. Turning to Flemeth, "Thank you for saving us. Because of you there are at least two Wardens in Ferelden who can work to defeat this Blight."

"No, thank _you_," said Flemeth, "_You _are the Grey Wardens. Before you leave though, there is one thing I can offer you. Morrigan, come here please."

* * *

After a hard ride, Loghain arrived back in Denerim under the cover of night. Word of the battle hadn't yet reached the palace and he needed to see Anora.

He had seen the light under her door and knew that she was still awake. He entered her chamber unannounced, where he saw Anora on a chaise, reading a book.

She looked up at the sound, "Father!"

Without a word, Loghain quickly walked up to his daughter and knelt before her; his eyes sought hers. She could see by the look on his face, that he was trying to find the right words. Anora put her hand on her father's shoulder, fear gnawing at her. He had only looked this way once before, when he told her that her mother had died.

"_Gareth_?" She whispered.

Loghain nodded.

Anora hand went to her chest, her eyes wide, "No! Maker, no! Not him, not HIM! How?" Anora wailed.

The sound tore at Loghain's heart, "He was felled by a dragon in the wilds while on a scouting mission. There was no way to bring back his body. Anora…I'm sorry I couldn't protect him."

"Where…where is Cailan?"

"Cailan didn't survive the battle. There is more, but it can wait for tomorrow."

Anora was too grief-stricken over Gareth to question her father about Cailan or anything else. She just nodded. He watched her try to gain control of herself.

Standing up, looking every inch the queen, she said, "There is no time for our personal grief, no matter how great. In the morning we must announce Gareth and Cailan's deaths. Father, until the Landsmeet confirms me as Queen, I need a regent. You must be that regent. You and I must be strong for Ferelden. I will summon the Chamberlain so we can prepare the announcement."

He looked at Anora, proud of her strength and her determination. To him, she embodied Ferelden. He would see that she remained on the throne, just as he would see that Ferelden remained free. He turned and left Anora's chambers.

Anora wiped the tear from her eyes. _Gareth you poor fool. I will miss you, but clearly you were destined for nothing save an early death, whereas I am destined to rule Ferelden._

After Loghain left Anora's room he askeda servant if Arl Howe had arrived at the Castle.

"Yes, Lord Chancellor, he arrived two days ago. He is in the guest apartments, second on the left."

Loghain walked off towards the guest quarters. His anger at the man's failure had been seething in him ever since he saw Siobhan. Reaching the door, he saw a guard "My Lord, the Arl's instructions were that he was not to be disturbed until the morning…for any reason."

Loghain said nothing; the smoldering anger in his eyes was enough for the guard to swallow and quickly unlock the door.

The guard was about to go and announce him, but Loghain put a strong hand on the young guard's shoulder and said, "You are relieved for the night."

The guard bowed and left quickly and Loghain walked into Howe's suite. The Arl was in his nightclothes, having a drink. Startled, Howe glanced towards his bedroom then back at Loghain.

Loghain said through clenched teeth, his eyes as cold as ice, "Get rid of her Rendon. _Now_."

When Howe didn't immediately move, Loghain strode towards the bedroom. Howe jumped and ran ahead. "Loghain, please, I will deal with this. Get a drink, I'll be back shortly."

He heard a woman's voice; it sounded like she had accent, but her voice was too low to understand. Loghain heard more whispers, the sound of moving stone and then silence. Rendon emerged from the room.

"We're alone."

Loghain walked past Howe into the bedroom, it was empty. He turned to Howe; moving fast, he grabbed the diminutive Arl by the throat and pushed him against the wall, "You were supposed to get rid of _all_ of the Couslands! Explain to me how _she_ ended up back at Ostagar?"

* * *

Before Alistair, Morrigan, and Siobhan were to leave, Siobhan asked for a moment of Flemeth's time to which, much to Morrigan's surprise, Flemeth agreed. Standing back in the hut, Siobhan looked at the old woman whose eyes held a wisdom and power that spoke of many long years; if she were _the_ Flemeth, it would be many long centuries. Steadily meeting Flemeth's gaze, Siobhan said, "When last we met I asked you about the scouting party. You never really answered my question. I sense you know more than you are telling me, and while I do respect your power, please if you have more mercy in your heart, tell me what _really_ happened to my husband? Is he truly dead?


	19. Questions, Answers & Destiny

AN: A million thanks to my awesome Beta Nithu. Thank you all for your continued reviews.

As always a shout out to the wonderful Cheeky Monkeys!

* * *

**Chapter 18 - Questions, Answers, and Destiny**

"There are those who struggle against destiny, and yet achieve only an early grave. There are those who flee destiny, only to have it swallow them whole. And there are those who embrace destiny, and do not show their fear. These are the ones that change the world forever."

~Flemeth

Flemeth gave Siobhan a small smile, "This is the problem with questions. Sometimes those that ask them are not ready to hear the answers."

"I would be the first to agree with you, and yet I'm still asking."

"Why do you not believe what you have already been told?"

"If believed everything I've been told_, _then I'd think my father is a traitor to Ferelden!"

"That is _not_ an answer. Why do you not _believe_ what you have already been told?"

Siobhan sighed, "I just didn't want to believe Gareth was dead, so at first I thought was just denying it. I thought that leaving my token in the wilds was step towards accepting it. When you gave me such an odd answer about seeing the scouting party, I started to wonder why you said that? What did you mean? Then I remembered something my father taught me. Always _listen_ to what someone _doesn't_ say."

"Wise counsel. Tell me, Warden, what would you do if I answered your question?"

"You mean directly or in riddles?

"Directly."

"It would depend on what you told me."

"Should it?"

"Yes, I think that would only be natural."

"Perhaps that is why I do not answer."

"Why do you continue to toy with me?"

Flemeth shrugged. "I do not toy with you Warden. I am _merely_ trying to determine if you are worthy of answers."

"Oh? And if I'm judged worthy, will light shine upon me and song burst from the trees?"

Flemeth's eyes narrowed. "Don't be facetious, girl. You are either very brave or very foolish to challenge _me_."

"I'm neither brave nor foolish as you wouldn't _dare_ harm one of the last _two_ Grey Wardens in Ferelden. I've answered your questions; now answer mine. Or are you simply going to continue spewing philosophical platitudes and empty threats?"

Flemeth went quiet, and then burst out in a hysterical cackle, "Oh, I like you. Such spirit!" In a more sober voice, "Warden, you are so young; are you as formidable as you seem? What would you do if I told you that your husband lives? Would the Blight _still_ seem as important or would you drop everything and go to him? Hiding behind hearth and home?"

Siobhan listened to what Flemeth was really asking. _Would I choose being with Gareth over ending the blight? _

Siobhan laughed mockingly, "I am _not_ some foppish nobleman's delicate flower! I'm married to a man of strength and heart. My world with him includes more than tending the fires of hearth and _bed_!" Stepping closer to the old woman, "Understand this, Flemeth; my husband and I vowed to share our lives, to be partners in _all_ things, and if he lives, that _will not_ change. The Blight must be stopped and I have sworn to do so. I will not abandon my vows to my husband or to the Wardens. Now I'm done dancing with you. Answer my bloody question!"

Flemeth smiled, "Your husband lives."

-0-0-0-0-

* * *

Fergus still required a lot of rest and quiet, so Gareth spent his days in the village common area, sometimes alone, sometimes with Liam and Donnelly. He found that several of the tribesmen spoke passable Ferelden and as Gareth was picking up more of their language, he was able to learn more about the tribe and its customs. The first thing he discovered was that they didn't have a word, or even a concept, for 'wife.' A woman simply belonged to a man or to her family. To the Chasind, the man carried the family name and history; a woman was either a part of her father's family or a part of her man's family. Men and woman mated based on shared affection. If the woman or man no longer wanted to be together then the woman went back to her father's family. If they had children together, the children were still raised by both parents but stayed with the mother. Gareth also found out that they were a very egalitarian culture, there being no castes and no nobility. Food and resources were shared equally. Even raising and watching over the children was a communal responsibility. The only people of 'stature' were the tribe's healers and their leader.

Physically, Gareth thought the people looked very similar to Fereldens. With the exception of the healers and Udell, their clothing resembled those worn by the Ferelden freeman. The women wore long chemises, with an overdress as they did in Ferelden; however, the typical Chasind woman's overdress was sleeveless and clasped at each shoulder with identical brooches. A girdle or belt fitted around the waist, and the type of girdle indicated whether or not she was a maiden. The style of brooch signified the woman's family origin.

The men wore very loose trousers, gathered at the ankle, and long tunics. Color and trim designated family origin. The men wore their hair collar length or shorter and most were clean-shaven. Without exception, all of the people were clean and well groomed. _Well so much for Ferelden teachings… filthy barbarians indeed!_

The afternoon that the scouts returned, Gareth was watching the children play. It brought a smile to his face to see that they were so openly given love and affection. It reminded him of Siobhan's family. _Make, I miss her so much. _Loneliness and worry gnawed at him once hated being this out of touch. The number of things he didn't know, coupled with Udell's recent discoveries, sent his imagination down very dark paths.

He saw the scouts and stood to go to them, but they quickly disappeared into Udell's hut. Gareth started to pace, the scouts had looked tired and worried.

-0-0-0-0-

* * *

Loghain let go of Howe who dropped to the floor gasping and rubbing his neck. "What. Happened?"

"You mean _before_ or _after_ my son died."

Rendon stared at Loghain, fear clear on his face, "What? He left Highever alive! I swear it!"

"Gareth was killed on a scouting mission along with Fergus Cousland." Loghain sat heavily on the bed, with his head in his hands. The silence in the room was oppressive, but Howe waited patiently.

Loghain looked up, his face more haggard that Howe had ever seen it. "So, imagine my surprise when Fergus turned up at Ostagar and then Siobhan shows up a few days later _with_ the Warden Commander!" he growled.

"My Lord, Bryce sent Fergus out with the army early. _I_ don't know why."

"Perhaps because somehow you managed to alert Bryce's suspicions. He was a traitor, he wasn't blind."

Loghain's eyes glazed as revulsion filled his core, "She tried to play on my _sympathy_. Tried to convince me that her father was _innocent_, that she was part of _my_ _family _too_,_ and the then she attacked me! _Attacked_ _me_! I wanted to see her hang for her treasonous family but the Warden Commander _conscripted_ her and that whelp of a King allowed it. How _typical_ for the Orlesian-loving Wardens to bring another traitor into their folds."

Trying to focus Loghain on the present, Howe said, "Loghain, what _else_ happened at Ostagar?"

"The darkspawn horde was overwhelming. I certainly wasn't going to treat my army like sacrificial lambs, so I sounded the retreat. Cailan insisted on being on the front line along with his precious Wardens. Ha! For all the good it did him! The Warden's failed to beat the darkspawn horde and now Cailan is just another corpse."

"The king is dead along with the _Wardens_? What about Siobhan?"

"Dead, along with Maric's bastard."

Rendon Howe could not believe what Loghain was telling him. It had all turned out so much better than he had hoped! Rendon kept his face composed and serious. "What a _horrible_ tragedy. It is _obvious_ that it was the Grey Warden's who betrayed our King! I think the Ferelden Wardens were told to by their Orlesian masters to sacrifice themselves in order to kill Cailan. That's why you were unable to beat the darkspawn horde."

Loghain looked at Howe, "How very _Orlesian_."

"Did you tell Anora?"

Loghain was finding it hard to think. The pain he felt over the loss of Gareth was too raw to contemplate, so he buried it deep. Focusing on Ferelden and her Queen was his sole purpose now. "Yes, I told her about Gareth and Cailan. She wants me to be her regent."

"She is a wise queen. She will do well by Ferelden _especially_ with _your_ guidance. I do apologize for letting Siobhan and the Warden Commander slip through my grasp; however, the loose ends seemed to have been tied up. Just in case, I _did _obtain this." He held out a parchment to Loghain.

_15__th__ Solace, 9:30 Dragon Age_

_I, Bryce Cousland, do hereby renounce my Teyrnir and confess to the following acts of Treason against the Crown of Ferelden:_

_First, that I willingly sold information about Ferelden's military to Orlais and for that information I was paid the sum of 1000 sovereigns._

_Second, that I willingly engaged in discussions with Orlesian officials about using Highever as a base of Orlesian operations in Ferelden._

_So that you know these are my words, I have confessed these acts before Sister Celwyddwr of the Chantry of our Lady Redeemer, City of Amaranthine._

_May the Maker show me mercy,_

_Bryce Cousland_

_Witnessed by:_

_Sister Celwyddwr of the Chantry of our Lady Redeemer, City of Amaranthine _

Loghain looked at Rendon. "This writing will bear scrutiny?"

Howe nodded

"And the good Sister Celwyddwr will bear witness?"

"Yes, My Lord."

Loghain rolled up the parchment. "Then the Couslands are no more. Rendon Howe, you are now Teyrn of Highever. I will ask the Queen to announce this when the she announces Gareth and Cailan's deaths."

Howe bowed, "Thank you, My Lord, or should I say, _Sire_?"

-0-0-0-0-

* * *

_He lives! Merciful Maker, he lives!_

Flemeth went on, "But you cannot yet contact him. He is in the wilds hidden among the Chasind. You must be patient. Defeating the Blight is your destiny. For now."

"Does he know what has happened at Ostagar? Is Fergus with him?"

Flemeth looked thoughtful, "I have no answers about this Fergus. Your husband will know soon enough and he will continue down his path."

"What path?"

"More questions! Listen to me Warden! A capricious thing, Destiny; but to fight against it will only ensure an early grave for _both_ of you. If you want Gareth to live and if you want to be reunited, then you must embrace your destiny now and go forward."

"Will he at least know that I'm alive?"

"Yes. Now I am _done_ talking with you. Leave the wilds and gather your armies. The land falling to the Blight is more pressing than the reunion of a husband and wife."

-0-0-0-0-

* * *

It seemed like hours passed before the scouts left Udell's hut. Udell spotted Gareth and motioned him over. Once Gareth was inside, he was surprised to see another man in the hut, introduced as only as Devdan. Gareth noticed the body art, but was not inclined to comment. Udell and Gareth sat across from each other at the table; the older man looked at Gareth, concern etching deeper furrows in his aged face.

Gareth's blood ran cold, but he kept his voice steady. "What did the scouts find, Udell?"

"I have some answers for you, not all are good and not all are bad. First I need to know, what is your wife's name and what does she look like?"

Gareth described Siobhan and as he did Udell's face grew more distressed. Holding a hand up to stop Gareth, he pulled out a piece of the braid and the copy of the poem. "These were found at the entrance to the Korcari Wilds. My scouts did not want to remove it, so they copied the poem and brought a sample of the hair. It was from a thick, two-foot long braid. The parchment was tied around the braid with a yellow string."

Gareth knew instantly that the hair was Siobhan's. His throat tightened, he remembered running his hands through it many times, and with a slight tremor_, _he read the copied poem. "This is a poem read at _Gwaren_ funerals. The hair is Siobhan's. She must think I'm _dead!_ But what is she doing in Ostagar? She should _be_ in Highever."

"Here is what I learned from the scouts. They saw your wife with the Grey Warden leader, the Ferelden King, and your father. The King addressed your wife as _'Warden.'_ Later, your father told the king that he put too much trust in the Wardens and in his words, referring to your wife, _'especially as they gave safe harbor to the daughter of a traitorous family!'_ There was much disagreement between your father and your king about the king fighting on the front lines. It was decided that your father would bring his troops in at a signal from the Tevinter tower. Contrary to your father's plan, the King specifically ordered the signal fire to be lit by Siobhan and another young warden, Alistair. It seemed quite important to your king that this Alistair and your wife stay as safe as possible."

Gareth was confused and alarmed. "She's a Warden? You said 'safe harbor' is that the exact the term the scouts heard?"

Udell nodded.

"Unless she volunteered, Duncan would have had to use the Right of Conscription to make her a warden. In either case, she became a Warden for protection."

"That would make sense given what the scouts explained. It appeared to them that it was your father who was the eminent threat to your wife _and_ your King."

"But why was she even _at_ Ostagar?

"Please, my friend, there is more to tell."

Udell explained about the battle, about the tower fire being lit and Loghain's army retreating. Tears flowed down Gareth's cheeks as he heard about the massacre, about the King's death. Tears of anger and of loss, and tears of guilt for not being there. Then Udell explained about the ravaging of the tower and the bird that carried away two people towards Flemeth's hut.

Gareth stood up, "By the Maker, I must go to that hut and find out what happened to my wife!"

Udell felt the sorrow, guilt and anger roiling inside the young Ferelden; he stood up and clapped his strong hand onto Gareth's shoulder. "Sit, my friend. Leaving in this state serves no purpose and will only deprive your wife of her husband. Your wife still lives, I know that much from my journey."

Gareth reluctantly sat back down. "How do you know?"

"Because it is now clear to me that your wife was the voice of the young woman and _that_ young woman is a large part of Flemeth's plans. As it was Flemeth who rescued your wife, and probably this Warden Alistair, from the tower, she no doubt healed them."

"Are you sure the bird was Flemeth?"

Udell smiled knowingly, "Yes."

"But I need to find Siobhan."

"Right now my friend, the wilds and Ostagar are teaming with the dark ones. It is not safe for anyone to leave our village and it is not safe for our village if anyone is seen leaving."

Gareth understood; he couldn't endanger the village. Especially not after all they had done for himself and his men. He stood up. "Udell, you have indeed been a friend and I cannot thank you enough. If there is anything I can do for your tribe please let me know. Right now, I should speak with Fergus and my men."

Udell nodded, his heart feeling the pain in his Ferelden friend.

Before Gareth could leave, screams could be heard coming from the entrance to the village.


	20. War, Peace and Love

**AN: **Thanks to all of you who have reviewed including Shakespira, Aya001, Warrose, Jinx, RandomWittering, Fifespice, Fairy, Liso66, Sniper1250 and Eva Galana who have each helped make this story better.

Thanks to my awesome and patient Beta Nithu, you rock.

Bioware owns all.

* * *

**Chapter 19 – War, Peace, and Love**

Gareth held the door ajar and peered out; he saw men rushing to secure the entrance and women gathering children to hide in the huts. Fearing darkspawn, Gareth opened the door wider to get a better look. Udell was behind him for a moment and then slammed the door shut.

"These are not Dark Murderers; these are the warriors of the Falke Tribe! They come with their _Druhtniaz_…sorry, War-leader. I fear they plan to take over our village and use it as shelter from the Dark Ones."

Urgency filled Gareth's voice. "Udell, what kind of weapons do you have and who leads your fighters?"

"We have archers, and spearman but we have no battle leader."

"Stay here, Udell. Keep safe. I will see what I can do."

Gareth opened the door, and dashed towards his hut, but Liam and Donnelly were already outside with Gareth's weapons, none of them had armor. Gareth looked around and called loudly, hoping that he knew _and remembered_ enough of their language, "_Alle Krieger kommen!_ All Warriors, to me!"

The fighters assembled quickly while the pounding continued at the entrance. Gareth looked around and pointed to the archers. "_Krieger mit pfeile, gehen Bäume_. Warriors with arrows, go trees! _Mein signal, schießen pfeile hier_! My signal, shoot arrow here!" Pointing to the rest of the fighters he stood and gestured to the area across the village and said, "_Zwei linien_! Two lines!"

Quickly, Gareth, Liam and Donnelly divided the two lines that spread across the front half of the village; two rows on the right and two to the left, leaving a gap in the center where he placed a single line of younger looking spearmen. The idea was to draw the enemy toward the "weak" centerline, if they broke through that they would be flanked by the rest of the Ywen warriors, be caught in clear line of fire by the archers hidden above, and then face a well-armed Gareth, Liam, and Donnelly. It was a hasty plan, but it was the best Gareth could do in this situation.

Standing at the ready, the three Fereldans crouched about twenty feet behind the lines. Gareth couldn't _see_ the archers and hoped that was because they were well hidden. The Ywen fighters stood shoulder to shoulder in a fairly good shield line; _at least they've had some training. _

The pounding at the gate became stronger and louder.

"_Im Krieg…Sieg!_" Shouted Udell who stood outside his hut.

_In war, victory. _Gareth smiled.

The warriors responded, "SIEG! SIEG! SIEG!"

With a thundering crash, the invaders broke through the entrance. Most wielded spears and shields; several, including the war-leader, had swords. They seemed surprised to see the organized line of defense; they hesitated, then moved towards what _looked_ like the weakness in the line; the center.

The Falke charged, and the lines clashed violently; the Ywen held strong, buoyed by Gareth's plan; they began to flank the enemy and drive them towards the center. The warriors who broke though, pulled up as they suddenly faced three well-armed foreigners. Their pause allowed Gareth time to signal the archers, who killed many of them; the flanking lines of Ywen surrounded the rest of the Falke.

Four of the enemy fighters managed to escape the flank and the arrow storm, one of which was the leader, who charged Gareth. The other three attacked Liam and Donnelly; two attacked Liam, and one went for Donnelly, who managed to dispatch his attacker. He went to help Liam who was already injured. Donnelly fought like a lion and killed both attackers but not before one landed a killing blow on Liam, who was dead before he hit the ground. Looking up at Gareth, Donnelly could tell that he was not fighting to _kill_ the leader but to _capture_ him. Gareth signaled to Donnelly to go help the rest of the fighters. He nodded and launched himself into the fray.

The Falke were clearly not prepared for the resistance they encountered. Their leader was engaged with a foreigner and none of them could get past the double line of Ywen warriors. Donnelly's attacks were controlled and effective, and several of the Falke fled; the Ywen killed those that remained.

Meanwhile Gareth and the leader fought furiously, Gareth did not want to kill the man, but the Falke leader would not yield. Finally, Gareth launched a final flurry of blows dropping the leader to his back. He held the sword to the man's throat, giving him one last chance to yield. Quiet filled the village.

Udell's loud voice split the silence. "_Ertrag?_"

The Falke leader nodded, "_Ja! Ertrag_!"

The man had agreed to yield. Gareth removed the sword from his neck and motioned to Donnelly and a tribesman to bring him to his feet. He was quickly bound and brought to the see the bodies of his warriors.

-0-0-0-0-

* * *

Alistair and Morrigan had been bickering for what felt like the entire trip from the Kocari Wilds. Morrigan picked on Alistair for being sullen. Alistair picked on Morrigan for not being understanding. He accused her of being creepy. She accused him of being dumb. The only break in the squabbling was to fight the bandits who had foolishly demanded a toll.

_Maker, this is pointless._ Siobhan thought.

Finally they arrived in Lothering.

Alistair stopped them before they entered the village. "I thought we should discuss where we want to go after we leave Lothering?"

"Did you have any thoughts on that Commander?" Siobhan asked.

"Do not task him further than necessary. Is it not enough that he can walk _and_ talk at the same time?"

Siobhan shot Morrigan a cold look, temporarily silencing the witch.

"_Commander?_ I'm…I'm not…"

"You _are_ the Senior Warden." Siobhan gently reminded him

Alistair nodded reluctantly then said, "Well, _I_ think it we should seek out Arl Eamon first. If we can garner his support, then perhaps we can use Redcliffe as a base of operations while we go to Orzammar, the Brecilian Forest, and the Circle."

"What about Loghain?" Morrigan asked. "We should remove him _first_ before we concentrate on the treaties."

"Oh I don't know. It's not like he doesn't have an _army_ or _experience_ to get in our way." The sarcasm dripped from Alistair's voice.

"True, we just have a dim-wit with a sword."

Siobhan snapped. "Will you stop it! Morrigan, he has every right to grieve, and it's cruel to tease him about it!" Siobhan voice softened, "Regarding Loghain, it's complicated. I don't believe that he's acted alone. We _need_ more information on what's happening in Denerim, and the most logical place to find it is from the Arl of Redcliff." She looked at Alistair. "If you're sure we are going to be well received?

"I'm positive." Alistair said confidently.

Morrigan sighed, "Then I suppose we should acquire supplies and leave for Redcliffe?"

"Alistair?" Siobhan wanted him to give the command.

"We will stock up, find a place to camp tonight and head out for Redcliffe in the morning."

Morrigan stalked away from them and entered the village. Siobhan placed her hand on Alistair's arm, holding him back gently. "Alistair. Could I say something?"

"Of course."

"I understand how much you are grieving, but as a leader you have to inspire your group, so try no to let the grief overwhelm you."

Alistair looked into Siobhan's eyes, which mirrored the pain in his heart. _She too has lost so much and yet she is still able to show concern for others and take the time to give a kind word. _"Thank you Siobhan. You've been so supportive and understanding, and I know that you hurt every bit as much as I do, probably even more. Please know that I'm there for you too."

Siobhan simply smiled.

-0-0-0-0-

* * *

The war-leader was ashamed of the poor showing of his fighters. He had _never_ lost a battle, and was sullen and silent as he sat in Udell's hut. Udell, made sure he was given food and water; however, he refused to eat or drink.

"_Druhtniaz. _Do you have a name or shall I just use your title?"

"Kasch, I am called Kasch. You used _foreigners_ to defeat us. Ywen alone could not have stood up to Falke warriors."

"These foreigners are _guests_ of my tribe! One of whom has _died_ because of _your_ tribe's unprovoked attack! Both of our tribes now owe a guest-debt to these men."

Kasch hung his head, "Then take my life to pay the debt."

Gareth held up a hand, as Devdan had been translating the conversation. "Udell, may I offer an alternative?"

Udell looked at Gareth. "What Kasch has offered is a typical and appropriate payment."

"I understand, but these are not typical times. As the darkspawn advance, more tribes may try to usurp villages for protection. Perhaps we can negotiate with the Falke tribe to form an alliance against the darkspawn."

"Two tribes cannot battle the Dark Ones, my friend."

"Two cannot. But two can work to unite more. Together you can build an army of Chasind warriors to _defend_ your homelands."

"As you know, there is more to building an army than gathering fighters. What we need is someone to train and to lead the army. We Chasind are a fiercely independent people and would never unit under one tribe's banner."

"Then perhaps the debt could be paid by uniting under mine."

Udell smiled and turned back to the Kasch. "I would like to meet with your spirit leader, to discuss another option to pay the guest-debt."

"Bryti will not come here and you will not set _foot_ in our village."

Gareth looked at Udell and said, "Maybe we could meet somewhere in between the villages?" Udell shrugged his shoulders

Gareth looked at the war-leader and said, "_Kasch. Treffen zwischen dörfer?_ Meet between villages?"

Kasch was stunned at Gareth's willingness to speak their language. He sized up the foreigner. _He is a warrior, and fought with honor. He was responsible for organizing the Ywen fighters; it was __his__ quick thinking and skills. He could be of use to my people._ "I will send a message to Bryti."

That night, when Gareth laid down to sleep, the empty bed where Liam once slept bothered him deeply. He was sore, tired, and desperate to see Siobhan. He longed to feel her touch, to hear her laugh. _Maker, just to see her would be better than this._ He would kill every darkspawn between here and her if he could, but even if that were possible, he would not leave Fergus, and he would not endanger the Tribe; he needed to help them, he needed to help make them safe. It was the best he could think of to repay Udell for saving them, and he knew Siobhan would agree. For now he would have to fight this loneliness with his memories and he went to sleep hoping to glimpse her in a dream.

Udell knew how much Gareth suffered. He also knew that a lesser man would have just left. Gareth's courage and compassion were both his greatest strength and his greatest weakness. _The poor man needs a respite from the worry._ Although Udell now understood Gareth's part in Flemeth's plan, he didn't know _why_. Why would Flemeth be concerned with uniting the Chasind tribes? Udell once again lit the sage oil; this time he put something in a small pipe and sat on the pillows to smoke it. Within a few moments his body stilled.

-0-0-0-0-

* * *

Siobhan was sitting and staring into the campfire. Thanks to the Bodahn Feddic, the dwarf merchant that now traveled with them, she would be able to get armor to accommodate her soon to be expanding waistline. Through their time at Ostagar and the week of walking from Ostagar to Lothering, she had lost weight in some places but gained it in the others, so things still fit, but that wouldn't last forever; soon she would need more room at the waistline and bust.

She couldn't believe that it had been close to five months since she told Gareth she was with child.

_The healer was leaving their bedroom. Gareth, who she heard pacing outside, came in before the healer could close the door. She was sitting on the bed and Gareth knelt before her, worry in his face and voice as he asked, "Cariad, what is it?" _

_She smiled. Cariad was an old Gwaren term for "love." She gently stroked his face, as if trying to smooth out the worry lines. "Dear one, I'm fine. Actually __we're__ fine."_

_Gareth's eyes widened as a smile lit up his face, "We? Does that mean…"_

"_Yes." Tears of happiness filled her eyes. "I'm carrying our child."_

_Gareth's response was not in words and they didn't emerge from the bedroom until the morning._

Siobhan wiped the tears from her eyes as she remembered, then she focused again on the parchment before her. She decided right after they left the wilds to chronicle this journey and to frame it as if she were writing to Gareth. It made her feel closer to him, and if anything happened to her, she would want him to have this, and to share with their child should the maker bless them with its birth.

_Dearest Gareth,_

_I'm now in a village called Lothering. It is a small hamlet that is exploding with refugees. The darkspawn are headed this way and those that should be protecting this village have abandoned it to the Blight. We tried to help where we could, but I know in my heart it won't be enough._

_Morrigan has been poisonous to Alistair, who has been letting his grief overwhelm him. I snapped at her when we arrived in Lothering; I have to admit, it felt good. _

_Our party has expanded; in addition to Alistair and Morrigan, we now have a Chantry lay-sister named Leliana, and a Qunari named Sten._

_Leliana came to our defense when we encountered some of Loghain's henchmen. We killed all but one, who we spared to tell Loghain that we know what really happened at Ostagar. Yes, I know letting your Father know I'm still alive is risky, but I felt the gauntlet needed to be thrown down. _

_Leliana __says__ she is a lay sister, that she had a vision from the Maker that she should join us. Frankly, I find her having a vision easier to believe than her being a lay sister. She obviously has training with weapons. She was born in Ferelden but raised in Orlais, and seems nice enough, but there is more to her than she lets on..._

A shadow covered her parchment; Siobhan looked up from her writing to see Alistair standing over her. "Siobhan, may I talk with you, privately?" He seemed nervous and ill-at-ease.

"Of course, do you want to talk away from the camp?"

Alistair nodded and extended a hand to help her up. They walked away from the camp towards the stream, where they sat together on the grass bank. Alistair plucked up a blade of grass and started to wrap it around his finger.

Siobhan put her hand gently on his shoulder. "Alistair, what's troubling you?"

"I don't think I should lead our group."

Siobhan was surprised. "Why ever not?"

"I don't have enough experience."

"You were trained as a _Templar_."

"Yes, trained to guard and hunt mages. Trained to wear a faceless mask, trained to watch and wait. What we _need_ is someone who has experience with battle tactics. Someone who is can be diplomatic _and_ persuasive. Someone who has been trained to _lead_." He smiled, looking into her eyes. "Sound like anyone we know?"

"But you are a full Grey Warden. I am not."

"Yes, that means that I can _sense_ the darkspawn, which is critical in battle, but you have to agree that we need more than that. Siobhan, I saw how you dealt with the guards in the tavern, how you were able to talk the Revered Mother into releasing Sten, how you talked that horrid trader into lowering his prices. We need _you_. _I_ need you."

"Alistair, you realize that your assessment of our needs already shows you have what it takes to lead?"

"I may have the raw stuff, but it needs to be sharpened."

"Are you telling me that you have a blunt blade?" Siobhan smirked.

Alistair turned a brilliant shade of red. "My _Lady!"_

Siobhan thought about it; she knew he was right; she was trained to be a Teyrna, trained in the Highever tradition of leadership, stewardship, and diplomacy. But Alistair needed to learn these skills as well.

"I will lead, but you will serve as my second. I will try to teach you what I know, but if something happens to me, as my second you _must_ take over. You cannot pass this duty to anyone else."

Alistair smiled, "I would be honored to serve as your second. Perhaps you can help me sharpen my blade."

They both laughed. It was the first time Alistair had heard her laugh and he vowed to make sure he heard it more often.

-0-0-0-0-

* * *

Udell traveled the fade trying to find Siobhan. He had sensed, from his time with Gareth, the part of his presence that was joined with his wife; using that as a reference he tracked her. He knew he was close when suddenly an impenetrable forest sprung up in front of him. Magic flowed over his essence, one with which he was very familiar.

"Hello, Morrigan."

She materialized from the forest, her eyes held surprise, but her voice was a cool and calm. "Udell? Of all of the beings I could have encountered here, 'twould not be you I would have expected."

Udell smiled. "It is nice to know I still can surprise you, my _geheimer lehrling_."

Morrigan laughed, "You have not called me your 'secret apprentice' in many years. I admit that I have missed it."

"What beings do you fear that you stand as sentinel?"

"I have been charged by my Mother to make sure the two Grey Wardens defeat the blight. There are many beings in the fade that would not want to see that happen."

"I am not such a being, Morrigan."

"You seek to reunite them?"

"I seek to bring them some peace while they are apart. Between the two of us they _can_ meet in their dreams."

"'Twould seem you have a soft spot for Siobhan's husband."

"Why wouldn't I? Do you not have one for Siobhan? You cannot hide these things from me _lehrling_. Siobhan is everything you admire. She is strong, determined, and competent _and_ she can stand up to your mother." He said the last part with a knowing smile. "Morrigan, any kind of connection between them can only strengthen their will to survive; is that not what we all want?"

"Allright, Udell, refusing you has never been easy for me. What do you suggest?"

"Find Siobhan in her dreams and act as her escort in the Fade. I will do the same for Gareth, and then I will lead him to you. They will not remember the dream, but the effects should lighten their spirits."

"I will do as you ask, _mein lehrer_." She smiled.

"You are no longer mine to teach. Thank you, Morrigan."

Udell traveled back to the village. He could see Gareth already moving into a dream state. He touched Gareth's shoulder. "My friend, you are dreaming."

Gareth looked and was startled to see Udell, "I'm sorry,my friend, I was hoping to dream about my wife."

Udell smiled, "Then come with me."

-0-0-0-0-

* * *

"Morrigan, what are you doing in _my_ dream?" Siobhan stood in the hall of her home in Gwaren. She went to sleep thinking about this place and hoped to dream of Gareth.

"I am here to act as your escort."

"Surely I'm capable of navigating my own dreams?"

"Typically yes, but not this kind of dream. No more questions. I promise you will like this dream."

_I feel I should trust her, but Maker knows why. _Siobhan nodded and followed her to the front door. Morrigan then slipped out of sight.

Udell sensed Morrigan's presence as he saw a house up ahead. Gareth recognized it instantly and ran towards the door; he was about ten feet away when the door opened. There before him was Siobhan. Not the one of his memory; her hair was short, the dress she wore showed off the small swell of her stomach. _Our child! _Gareth's heart skipped a beat; she would always be his goddess and the light of his life.

Siobhan saw him and put her hand to her heart. "Gareth?" Her voice was barely a whisper; fearing that if she spoke any louder she would wake. He wasn't the Gareth she watched leave Highever; this Gareth wore strange clothes, his hair was longer and his goatee was now a full beard, but it was him, all of him, tears of joy ran down her face.

Gareth closed the distance and pulled her into his arms.

After several moments, he pulled back and placed his hands against her stomach, then looked into her eyes. "_Cariad,_ there is so much to tell, and we have so little time."

"Then let us not waste all of it with words."

Gareth smiled and pulled her back into his arms.


	21. A Time for Love, A Time for Hate

**AN: **Sorry for the delayed update.

A **_huge thank you_** to my reviewers: _Shakespira, Jinx1983, RandomWittering, Warrose, Fifespice, Fairy, StarrChilde, Liso66, Eva Galana, Lemonjay,_ you keep me going. As a special thank you to my 100th reviewer _**Aya001,**_ I have asked if I could use Aya's name for a named character in the story and happily Aya agreed! That character will be introduced later in this chapter and will play an important role as the story unfolds.

Lastly, a **big hug and thank you** to _Nithu_, my awesome beta!

* * *

**Chapter 20 - A time for love, a time for hate**

Despite Loghain's protests, Anora was determined to have a funeral for Cailan. She pointed out to her father that the people would expect it, and not doing so would only raise questions; Loghain reluctantly agreed.

Wanting to capitalize on the shock and grief people felt over the loss of Cailan, Anora was decisive and efficient in planning the funeral. She arranged for the construction of a bier to hold Cailan's coronation armor. She organized a procession that would escort the bier as it was carried through the streets of Denerim, where it would pause at the Chantry for a special service. The procession would end at the harbor, where the bier would be loaded on to a boat and set ablaze. Anora had planned everything to the last detail. She told her advisors, and the nobles assembled in Denerim, that it was the least she could do _'to honor my fallen husband, our beloved King.'_ Even the pathos in her voice was carefully calculated play on people's sympathy.

The day of the funeral, the weather was dreary even by Ferelden standards. However, neither the dank weather nor the threat of a Blight deterred Fereldens from lining the streets. They were there to pay tribute to their fallen King, sometimes with flowers, but mostly with tears. Anora, as Queen and widow, walked alone, directly behind the bier. Dressed in a somber colored gown, she looked appropriately grief-stricken while maintaining the poise and grace that has always been her hallmark. Her father and the other chancellors followed behind Anora.

As planned, the procession arrived at the Denerim Chantry where Mother Perpetua stood near the bier and led those assembled in Transfigurations 12. Hundreds of voices joined together in grief; clear and strong they recited:

_O Maker, hear my cry: _

_Guide me through the blackest nights _

_Make me to rest in the warmest places. _

_O Maker, hear my cry: _

_Seat me by Your side in death _

_Make me one within Your glory _

_And let the world once more see Your favor _

_For You are the fire at the heart of the world _

_And comfort is only Yours to give._

Once the chant concluded, the procession continued to the harbor. The bier was loaded onto a boat and as it floated a way, a specially chosen Royal archer shot the flaming arrow into the boat. Those gathered bade a final farewell to their King and Anora stood and watched until the boat vanished on the horizon. A set of coaches waited to bring her, her father, and the chancellors back to the palace.

Loghain and Anora shared a coach, but rode together in complete silence. When they returned to the palace, Anora retired to her rooms. Loghain went straight to his own room and poured a large brandy. Sitting at his desk, emotionally drained, he stared blankly into the dimly lit room. There would be no funeral for Gareth. Anora worried that it would draw attention away from mourning Cailan. While Loghain could have forced this issue, Ferelden was already on unstable ground. If the people could unite over their shared grief, like they had done over Maric, then perhaps it would be worth it. Loghain swirled the amber liquid in his glass._ How fitting that Cailan would prove more useful in death than he ever was in life. _He quickly drained the glass and poured another, and then a third.

Loghain could hear Gareth's voice. _'Da, Cailan is a good man; you can't keep expecting him to be Maric'. _Loghain had lost count of the number of times Gareth had to remind him of that. _Gareth always seemed to understand my moods and how to lighten them_. He continued to drink. _So many memories! _Gareth's birth, his first sword, talks at the Gwaren tavern, traveling through the Teyrnir,_ All…gone_. Soon brandy began to spill out of the glass as Loghain's body jerked with sobs. Quiet tears of agony spilled down his face. _Maker, I miss my boy. I miss my son! _The glass fell to the floor as Loghain gave in to the grief that tore through the remnants of his soul.

* * *

"Maker, that was an exhausting experience!" Anora said, as she dropped on to her chaise. Rendon Howe, now Teyrn of Highever, sat across from his Queen.

"Yes, but you did _splendidly_. Your subjects _actually think_ you mourn for Cailan. I do say your father also played his part very well."

Anora rolled her eyes. "_Father_ was thinking about Gareth. I told him to simply pretend the funeral was for him."

"Perfect."

Anora simply smiled. "Well, seeing as how we couldn't have a funeral for Gareth, it made perfect sense for my poor father. That people now believe he too mourns for Cailan? That's simply a bonus." Anora stood, walked over to the window and peered through the curtains. The streets of Denerim were still filled with mourners. "At least the funeral distracted people from my recent announcements. The Bannorn, it seems, is going to be difficult to sway."

"Yes, it's a pity that Bann Teagan was so vocal in his opposition. Although I imagine he will soon have more pressing concerns to occupy his time." Howe said, with a knowing look in his eyes.

"Yes, it was fortunate for my Father that he was able to apprehend that malifcar before the Chantry could get their hands on him. With the Guerrin family absent from Ferelden politics, it will, as least, be easier to bring the Bannorn to our side."

"_Easier_, but not easy." Howe reminded. "We need to settle this civil unrest quickly, especially with the Darkspwan nipping at our heels. Haste will require a show of might, and that will require a full treasury. I'm meeting with your father tomorrow to discuss possible ways to fill our coffers."

"You are a dedicated adviser, Teyrn Howe, how shall I ever repay you?

"Your Majesty, it is simply a _privilege_ to serve the Queen of Ferelden."

* * *

After telling her that Fergus was alive, Gareth and Siobhan spoke only with their hands, their lips, and their bodies. Lying in each others arms they knew time was fleeting. There were many questions that needed answers and Gareth was the first to speak, "Siobhan, I don't know how much more time we have."

"I know my love, I keep forgetting that this is just a dream."

"And it's a _good_ dream." Gareth smiled as he held her tighter. "I know what happened at Ostagar, but what happened after I left Highever?"

Siobhan told him about Howe's attack. Desperately trying not to cry, she told him how she and Duncan had fled to Ostagar only to find out that he and Fergus had been declared dead. She could feel Gareth's body stiffen with anger, but she went on. "As soon as Cailan told me, I went straight to your father's tent. He was sitting on the bed, unwashed, drunk. I thought he must be distraught, so I spoke softly to get his attention."

Siobhan took a deep breath and went on. "Gareth, he looked at me with _hatred_ in his eyes. He accused my father of trading Ferelden secrets to Orlais; he even showed me a letter from a Chevalier implicating him."

_That_ _bastard!_ "How did he get this letter?"

"I don't know. I believe that he's working with Rendon Howe, who has access to _many_ dark corners of Thedas. I told your father that it was an _obvious_ forgery and that the Landsmeet would never believe it. He said they would once they were presented with my father's _confession_."

"Confession? That's insane!" Gareth looked at Siobhan in total shock. _It's like she's talking about a complete stranger._

"I accused him of being paranoid, of being Howe's pawn. Then I started to think that maybe it was his grief talking, so I _tried_ to calm down. I reminded him that we were a _family_. That's when he told me that as the daughter of a traitor all my lands and title were forfeit."

"I told your father that I was carrying our child, _his _grandchild. He accused me of lying. I told him that my pregnancy could easily be confirmed. Then…" Her shoulders started to shake, as the tears streamed down her face. "Then. He said, _'But not…the __**identity**__ of the father.' _I was furious. I took my dagger. I tried to _kill him._ Gareth, _I tried to kill your father!_" She gasped, "I'm so… sorry!" She collapsed into his arms sobbing uncontrollably.

Anger clouded Gareth's vision and sorrow gripped his heart. He wrapped his arms around her, held her close, his voice a mere whisper, "Shh, cariad. Shh. You've done nothing wrong; you have no reason to apologize for _anything_!"

Siobhan looked at her husband. She could _feel_ the hurt and anger she _saw_ his eyes. "Duncan conscripted me. He said he had done it to save me from being tried for attacking a representative of the Crown. He…he felt that I wouldn't _live_ to see a trial."

Gareth held her face between his hands and looked into her eyes. "My precious love, if I had known how truly paranoid my father had become, I would never have left you at Highever. I would never have left your side. I promise you, Loghain, Anora, and Rendon Howe will pay for this." _They will pay with their lives_.

Siobhan caught that Gareth referred to his father by name. "Gareth, he's still your father and he loves you."

"No, My Dearest, my father is _dead_. That man is _not_ my father."

"Gareth, we don't yet know the whole story. Right now the Blight is the most important fight we have. If we lose that, we lose _everything_."

"I know, I know." Wiping her tears away with his thumbs, he said, "I love you my Lady."

Siobhan smiled, "And I love you."

* * *

Gareth opened his eyes, the sun streamed through the window; sitting up he looked at Fergus. An unbelievable sorrow filled Gareth's heart. "How do I tell him?"

* * *

Siobhan woke up in her tent; sitting up she hugged her self, tears of joy rolling down her face, Fergus lives!

* * *

Morrigan awoke; she was disoriented, confused, and very tired. She stood up and stretched, then she remembered:

_She was on her back, Udell kneeling next to her, "Geheimer lehrling, are you alright? You fell, I was worried."_

"_I am fine, Udell. I…I do not know what happened."_

_Udell smiled, "Clearly you must get more rest Morrigan. I will guard the fade. Go. Sleep, lehrling, sleep."_

Morrigan knew she should have been irritated at Udell, but she wasn't, she simply felt affection and pride for the wily man. _T'would seem that while I am no longer his to teach, I still have things left to learn. If Udell could __**send**__ me back from the fade without my knowledge, then he did not need __**me**__ to bring Gareth and Siobhan together. What, mein lehrer, are you trying to teach me?_

* * *

Udell stood in front of his altar, putting away the pipe. He smiled; Morrigan would soon realize his bit of trickery, but Gareth and Siobhan _would_ remember their dreams. _Flemeth, I __**will **__find out what you are planning, but not at Siobhan and Gareth's expense. _

A knock sounded at Udell's door. He opened the door to see Aya, standing there.

"Come in my dear."

Aya walked into the hut. She was the senior female healer in the village and had been working with Udell on nursing their visitors back to health. She was half elven; Aya's mother, Raelyn, was a city elf from the Gwaren Alienage who had been traveling with her family, north to Highever when they were attacked by a Chasind tribe. Raelyn, only a child then, was the only survivor. The Ywen scouts found her in the wilds and brought her back to the village where she was raised by the tribe as one of their own.

Aya was petite like many elves; hair as black as night hung down her back in a shimmering wave. Her green eyes sparkled with a keen intelligence. She was exotically beautiful, with a strong presence, and she was a gifted healer. She looked at Udell and smiled as she said, "Good morning, Father."


	22. Inner Demons

**AN: **Thanks to all my reviewers, faves, and alerts. It inspires me and I'm deeply grateful.

Thanks to my wonderful, awesome (and patient) beta, Nithu!

* * *

**Chapter 21 Inner Demons  
**

"Aya, how are Gareth's men doing?"

"Donnelly is completely recovered. Fergus is not coming along as well as I would like. He still has much pain and limited energy." She looked at her father, "but this is what I told you when you asked yesterday. What has changed?"

"Please sit, Aya. I need to share with you some information about Fergus that may slow his progress even more."

Aya paled; concern plainly written on her face. _Fergus is such a gentle soul; like Gareth, he is kind, funny, and introspective; everything I have been raised to value, and everything I thought Fereldens __**weren't**__._

Seeing her distress, Udell reached out and touched her hand; she looked so much like her mother. She had her mother's eyes, and the same inner light. He was proud of his Aya. Proud of her skill, her compassion, and her wisdom. He had hoped she would find a match among the village men, but so far none had captured her interest.

"Aya, you know that Fergus's sister is Gareth's wife? Aya nodded. Udell continued, "Their parents were the rulers of Highever."

"You say _were_?"

"Patience, daughter, sometimes the tale is more educational in the telling. Fergus was joined to an Antivan woman and together they had a son. Fergus was to inherit his father's holdings and title. This is a man whose was raised to lead."

Aya nodded, that much was clear from how Gareth and Fergus interacted. "Clearly, Gareth and Fergus are peers."

"Yes. Gareth took his wife…"

"Siobhan?"

Udell nodded "…back to Highever for protection during the battle; then returned to Ostagar with Fergus. While he and Fergus were here in the wilds, a lesser nobleman, a man named Rendon Howe, slaughtered Fergus's mother, father, wife and son. Only Siobhan survived."

"_Barmherziger Geist!"_ Merciful spirits. "Has Fergus already been told?"

"No, but Gareth just found out; and unless I am very wrong he will want to tell his friend as soon as possible. How Fergus will react though, only the spirits know. I tell _you_ because Fergus talks to you, trusts you, and because I worry that his grief will put his health into a permanent decline."

"I will prepare accordingly Father; Fergus must recover, his light is too bright to be prematurely extinguished."

"Thank you, my sweet Aya."

"Father, I understand the guest-debt, but you are treating these men more like you are their teacher or mentor. What are you up to?" Aya's face was full of affection and love for her father. She knew he was both wily and wise, but as his daughter it was her duty, and joy, to worry about him.

Udell smiled. "My wise Aya, you guess so much without being told. What would you say if I said I saw Morrigan again?"

Aya's face grew serious. "I would say that Flemeth is involved in all of this, and to step carefully."

"Morrigan_ isn't_ her mother, you know."

"So you have always told me; However, I have yet to see the proof of it."

* * *

After breakfast, as the camp was broken down, Siobhan went to Morrigan, who was her sitting on her pack staring into the brush.

"Morrigan?"

"Oh 'tis you." Morrigan responded, clearly distracted from her thoughts.

"Thank you. I don't know why you did what you did, but thank you, from the bottom of my heart."

Morrigan seemed uncomfortable. Looking up at Siobhan, "'Tis not really me you should thank, for 'twas not _my_ idea."

Siobhan looked puzzled, "But you _led _me to the house in the fade?"

"That _is_ true and for that you are…welcome." Clearing her throat, clearly uncomfortable with Siobhan's gratitude. "'Twould seem that everyone is ready to leave."

Siobhan didn't know why Morrigan was so uncomfortable, but decided she wouldn't push. "Right, we should get going."

On the way to Redcliffe, Siobhan told Alistair about her dream.

"Maker, that's amazing! I'm so happy that your brother is still alive. And you say that Morrigan _helped?_ That doesn't sound like her."

"When I tried to thank her she was very uncomfortable about it and claimed that it wasn't her doing."

"_That_ sounds like Morrigan. She _did_ acknowledge that it actually happened, right?"

"Oh, yes. It's obvious that she knows what happened and how, but she isn't volunteering the information. Perhaps tonight, at Redcliffe, I can get her to open up."

They walked a little longer in silence, then Siobhan asked softly, "How are you feeling about seeing Eamon again?"

Alistair had been thinking about that since Lothering; he looked at Siobhan. "I'm not sure. I care about him very much, but sometimes I still feel like an angry ten year-old boy. I understand _why_ he did what he did, but part of me wishes that it didn't have to be that way. If Isolde could have _accepted_ me, or if he had stood up to her, I could have been part of a family. Then again, if that _had _happened, I wouldn't have met Duncan or become a Grey Warden. So what right do I have to complain?"

"You have every right to, Alistair._ Understanding_ why people act the way they do isn't the same as _condoning_ it. I'd be shocked if you weren't still at least a little angry. I'm sorry if I am stirring up painful memories."

"No. Actually it feels good to talk about it. For so long I've avoided talking about my childhood partly because of being the king's bastard, but mostly because there was never anyone willing to hear me whinging on about it. Except perhaps for Duncan."

"I hardly think it can be called whinging when you're expressing your feelings about being a neglected child who was shoved off to the Chantry at age ten."

"See, that's why I can talk to you; you listen and you understand. In any case, my anger is partly toward Eamon but mostly towards Isolde. What kind of woman sends a _child_ to live in a stable? I know that the rumors of my being Eamon's son made her uncomfortable, but how was that _my_ fault?"

"Alistair, are you _sure_ that Eamon will help us?"

"Yes! He loved Cailan."

"That's what I'm worried about, you heard what they said in Lothering; Loghain has painted the Grey Wardens as Orlesian sympathizers, as traitors, as _regicides_. Will Eamon even believe us?"

"Eamon is a smart and reasonable man. He'll see the truth."

Siobhan signed, "I hope so. Otherwise we are arriving as the last survivors of 'Orlesian' order that killed Ferelden's King, led by a woman who has been stripped of her titles and whose father sold Ferelden secrets to Orlais. If that wasn't enough, an apostate, an Orlesian, and a murderous Qunari accompany us. _I'd_ arrest us on the spot."

Alistair stopped and put his hands on her shoulders. "Siobhan, I don't believe anyone in their _right_ mind believes the Grey Wardens killed Cailan or that your father is a traitor, regardless of _any_ evidence Loghain could produce. We are Grey Warden's, sworn to defeat the Blight; we've come to Redcliffe to seek the Arl's aide and, by the Maker, that's what we'll get!"

"Thank you Alistair. I needed that."

"Good. It seems even the leader needs a pep talk now and then."

"It was a well done pep talk. Soon you'll be bucking for my job!"

"Perish the thought! I'm just your cheese-loving second in command, who is also happens to be a Royal Bastard. I'll leave the hard stuff to you."

Siobhan laughed.

* * *

Gareth signalled to Donnelly to leave the hut for a while and make sure no one came in. Once Donnelly left, Gareth went to Fergus' bed. His brother-in-law was just waking up; Gareth could see the chronic pain had taken its toll. Fergus was pale, with dark circles under his eyes, and he had lost a lot of weight. Gareth thought about waiting until he felt better, but he knew Fergus well enough to know how bad an idea that would be.

Fergus looked up and saw Gareth; slowing sitting up he said, "What is it old man? It's not Siobhan is it?"

"No. She's all right. In fact, I was able to contact her last night."

"Really? Wait…_how_?"

"Udell helped us meet in the fade, I don't know how."

"What did Siobhan say?"

"Fergus...she explained how she ended up in Ostagar with the Grey Wardens. She… escaped from Highever…"

"Escaped? From _what_? Darkspawn?"

"No." Gareth took a deep breath. "From Rendon Howe's men. They came to Highever the night after we left. They came to murder everyone there. Duncan and Siobhan were able to escape, but no one else made it out alive."

Fergus looked like a ghost. His voice was a whisper. "Orin and Oriana?"

Gareth shook his head.

"Mother and Father?"

"Your father was gravely injured and your mother stayed with him."

Fergus was still and silent.

"Fergus. I'm so…so sorry."

Fergus turned his head to look at Gareth; his eyes so like Siobhan's, burned with anger. "On whose orders was Howe acting?"

Gareth was puzzled by the question

"On _whose_ orders was Howe acting?"

Suddenly Gareth understood; he lowered his head in shame for all the lives his father had ruined. Unable to meet Fergus's eyes, he answered, "My father's."

There was a long pause, then Fergus said, his voice devoid of warmth or emotion, "Get out Gareth."

"Fergus, I…"

"GET OUT!"

Gareth left the hut; he had to wait and hope Fergus would understand that he was not his father. He tried to think of how he would feel if the situation was reversed. _I might be waiting a long time. _Gareth looked up, _Damn you old man! Damn your paranoia, your misguided loyalties! You will pay for your actions, I swear. _ Looking back down, he saw Aya.

"You told Fergus of the atrocities committed against his family?" Aya asked, the softness of her voice taking the harshness from her words.

Gareth lowered his eyes, "Yes."

Aya put his hand on Gareth's chest. "Gareth, you are not responsible for your father's actions. Fergus may not see that now, but in time he will. You need to keep being strong."

Gareth nodded, his voice tight. "Thank you Aya. Fergus looked liked he was in a lot of pain this morning, even _before_ I opened my mouth. He needs you." Gareth turned and walked away.

Aya went into the hut. Fergus was laying down staring at the ceiling; he was utterly still. Aya walked softly to his bed. "Fergus?"

There was no hint of response.

Aya sat next to the bed. "Fergus?"

Still no response.

Aya put her hand on his shoulder. Fergus slowly turned his head towards her; the look in his eyes spoke of unbearable pain, physical and emotional. "Leave me Aya. I am beyond a healer's skills."

"Fergus, you are not beyond _mine_. Close your eyes."

"Leave me!"

"Close them!"

Fergus, too weary to argue, slowly closed his eyes. Aya placed one hand on his forehead and one on his chest and softly chanted; as his breathing deepened she started to sing an elven song her mother had taught her many years ago.

_Anírach únad  
Egor gurth hen  
Han cenin vi chen lín  
Egor ú-erin le devi  
Tellin men achae  
Brennin men anann  
Rago! Ú-erich leithio,  
Ú-erich o nin gwanno.*_

Her voice was rich and soothing; she poured into it all of her healing skills, trying to feel the source of pain in Fergus's body. All the while singing her song. When Fergus was deeply asleep, she sang it in Ferelden

_You want nothing more  
Than this death.  
I see it in your eye.  
But I cannot let you  
We have come too far  
We have held on too long.  
Reach! You cannot let go,  
You cannot leave me.*_

Removing her hands, she watched the even rise and fall of his chest and the color come back to his face. She had made sure he would sleep deeply with no dreams, then stayed to watch over him.

* * *

_Dearest One,_

_We found Redcliffe in total chaos. The village was being subjected to nightly attacks from walking dead, each night worse than the last, and Arl Eamon has been lying unconscious for weeks. Bann Teagan is here, and he was trying to shore up the village's defenses. He recognized me immediately, and quickly assured us that he does not believe the 'lies being spewed by Loghain and Anora.' _

_I could not leave Redcliffe alone to fight the coming darkness, so we spent the day building up the militia and essentially lending our swords to help completely rid the village of these animated skeletons. Apparently, Loghain sent a blood mage to poison Eamon under the guise of helping Arlessa Isolde hide Connor's nascent magic abilities. Connor is now possessed by a demon! The demon keeps Eamon alive, and through Connor created the walking dead from the lives of those in the castle. _

_To kill the demon we have three choices: 1. Kill Connor. 2. Use blood magic with a human sacrifice to enter the fade and kill the demon, or 3. Go to the Circle of Magi and ask their help to enter the fade and kill the demon. _

_At dawn we're heading to the Circle. _

Siobhan put down her journal as a knock sounded at her door.

"Enter"

Alistair walked into the room. He was wearing a simple tunic and a pair of breeches, and he carried a tray. "I was getting a snack and thought if you were hungry, you might want to join me."

The smell of fresh cheese wafted through the air; Siobhan smiled and said, "Dragon's Peak Blue if I'm not mistaken."

"Ah, the woman knows her cheese!"

"I _never_ pass up an opportunity to eat cheese Alistair."

"I feel the same way; though some would say it's an unhealthy obsession. "

"Better than some obsessions I could name. Gareth loves cheese too, which is fortunate; I don't think I could have married a man who didn't," she said blithely, happily snagging a piece of the delicate blue-veined cheese and savoring the morsel with obvious delight.

Together they enjoyed their snack and regaled each other with tales of wonderful cheeses, favorite foods, and several food-related _mis_adventures. Siobhan's laughter was infectious and Alistair felt relaxed and comfortable for the first time in many weeks. _This is what I've been missing; the camaraderie between friends and talk that isn't centered on darkspawn or battle. We're just two Grey Warden's enjoying one another's company. _It was something Alistair treasured in his first months as a Grey Warden, and was happy to have rediscovered it with Siobhan.

* * *

Gareth had to put the pain of Fergus' accusations out of his mind. Now, more than ever, he had to focus on trying to encourage the Ywen and Falke tribes to work together. Siobhan was trying to unite dwarves, mages, elves, and humans, and she had to do it with only Alistair and a handful of companions. If he could organize the Chasind fighters, they could better defend themselves and provide help by attacking the horde's rear flank. But, for this to happen, he needed to work with Udell and arrange the meeting with the Falke leader.

Udell's smile welcomed him into the hut. He saw the pain Gareth was trying to hide and put his hand on the younger man's shoulder. "Today, we will focus on what we _can_ do and not what is out of our hands."

Gareth, took a deep breath, let it out slowly and looked Udell. "What do we need to do to set up this meeting?"

"All we need to do is name a time and a place."

Gareth thought a moment. "Let the place be between the villages, wherever the darkspawn are, and the time be a ½ candle before dark.

Udell looked at Gareth. "I see you want a live example of the darkspawn threat?"

"Actually I'm hoping to _demonstrate_ what can be achieved _together_. Can we ask that the Falke bring five of their best warriors? We will do the same."

Udell stroked his beard and nodded. "I will arrange this. Is there anything else I can do?"

Gareth smiled, "Yes, there are several phrases I would like to learn in your language; could you teach me?

Udell simply smiled.

* * *

"Siobhan, how do you know if your decision is the right one?"

"Do you mean generally or regarding Connor?"

"Both."

Siobhan thought about it a moment. "How do _you_ know if your decisions are right?"

"I don't. Frequently, I'm indecisive because I don't trust my judgment."

"That wasn't true when you stood up to Duncan regarding me taking the joining. What made you decide to do that?"

"It was the right thing to do! I couldn't abide by what he was going to put you through."

"You weren't worried about his punishing you?"

"Yes, I was, but it was a risk I was willing to take."

"You weren't worried about not being able to persuade him?"

"Yes, but I knew Duncan fairly well; it was a safe bet that he would see reason."

"Did you look back on the decision?"

"Yes, I learned that doing what I feel is right is more difficult than I first thought, but it was worth the pain."

"So, you made a decision based on what you thought was right not just for your own conscience, but for me as well, and weighed the risks and obstacles against the gain, then you evaluated the decision afterward to determine what you learned?"

Alistair laughed, "Did I just answer my own question?"

"Technically you were answering _mine_." Siobhan smiled. "Alistair, no one makes the correct decision every time or even half the time. You know what your goal is, you know what you are willing and not willing to do to achieve it. You make a choice based on what you think is right and you weigh the risks versus the benefits. Then you review what you did and what you learned from it. Just as _you_ did when you stood up to Duncan on my behalf. You make good decisions every day, you just need to trust your judgment more than you do. Being right doesn't make you a leader, being thoughtful does. Now, it is _my_ judgment that we get some sleep!"

"Yes Commander! Sleep well Siobhan."

"You too Alistair, and thanks for the cheese."

* * *

AN: *Don't Let Go (featured in The End of All Things) Lyrics credited to Gwaith-I-Phethdain (both the English and the Elven)

A special shout out to the Cheeky Monkeys at ht tp :/ www .darkstorm. co .uk/cmda (remove the spaces). This is a wonderful forum for FF writers and readers, come and hang out for a while.


	23. A time to rend, a time to sew

**AN: **A huge thank you to all those who have reviewed: Shakespira, Aya001, LadyCalia, Shoveler, Jinx, and Warrose. Your reviews mean a lot to me. Thank you also to all who lurk, fave and alert.

A big and special thank you to my awesome beta Nithu!

**Chapter 22 A time to rend, a time to sew**

Aya never left Fergus's side. After a long while, he opened his eyes; he looked confused for a moment, then Aya saw the grief overwhelm him. She laid her hand on his shoulder, "Fergus, _Meine helle Seele._" My bright soul.

Fergus looked at Aya. His was voice strained, "Why are you still here?"

"You were in pain; I am your healer."

"Don't bother. My pain is beyond your skills." His words were bitter. He stood up slowly, refusing Aya's help, and walked to the window. Aya could feel the tension in his body; it was by strength of will that he stood at all. Fergus looked out the window for a long time; his silence was palpable. Aya said nothing, but lent her spirit to him, willing strength and comfort across the space between them. _He must let down this barrier over his soul; he needs to allow himself to __feel__. _

Slowly his shoulders sagged, his head bowed, and his voice rasped, "They were supposed to be safe there." He looked skyward for a long time, then slowly turned towards Aya. Anger filled his eyes, as he poked a finger into his chest. "Oriana was so worried about _me_ being hurt, _me_ not coming back, _me_ dying! What did _I _do? I joked_._ I laughed at her concern. Never once did I think they would be the ones to die!"

Fergus's face contorted with pain, "I will never get to hold them again, never touch them, never…see…them… smile. Oh Holy Maker, no!" Falling to his knees, a cry that was as silent as it was primal burst forth from his very soul. Beating his hands on the floor, the sound finally erupted from his throat as wails of agony filled the hut.

Aya went to him and grabbed his hands before he could break them. Fergus was strong but, in his weakened state, Aya was stronger. She held his hands; she held him close. "Let it out; cry, _meine helle seele." _Long painful sobs racked Fergus as he clung to Aya, who held and gently rocked him, singing softly.

* * *

Loghain was meeting Howe in the king's office which, as Regent, was now his. Loghain concentrated on the treasury reports and correspondence from various allies among the Bannorn. With a growl, he threw the papers on the desk, stood up and poured himself and Howe a drink.

Handing a glass to Howe, he said, "We cannot afford to fight both the Bannorn and the Darkspawn! Don't these idiots realize that they threaten the safety of Ferelden? Damn Teagan for his ill-considered remarks!"

"Sire, your attention is unnecessarily divided. You need to focus on strategies to fight the darkspawn."

"We must bring the Bannorn into line first!"

Howe tried to placate the angry Regent. "Sire, you have _many_ allies among the Bannorn; Bann Ceorlic is very vocal and loyal. He can sway many, especially now with Teagan's attention being absorbed by the troubles at Redcliffe …Such a pity about the Arl."

Loghain frowned. "Eamon's a fool for marrying that overly pious, Orlesian simpleton."

"Yes, but it did make our job _easier_."

Loghain merely grunted in agreement.

"Sire, I've had been contacted by a Tevinter magister. Apparently we have a…commodity...for which they are willing to pay handsomely."

They were interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Enter!"

A guard walked in. "Sire, one of the soldiers just arrived from Lothering; he said he has a message that he must deliver to you personally."

Loghain arched an eyebrow. "You seem concerned. Is the soldier a threat?"

"Not exactly, Sire. He looks more scared that devious, but I would prefer him to be unarmed while in your presence."

Loghain merely nodded. A few moments later the guard brought in the solider. Loghain loomed over him; he could smell the filth, the wounds, and the fear that radiated from the solider. "Clearly you were on the loosing side of the fight. What is your message?"

"Si….Sire, I bring word from….a Warden in Lothering."

"A _Grey_ Warden?"

"Y…yes Sire. She traveled with a man and a Chasind witch."

Loghain's face reddened with anger; he exhaled sharply through his nose. "Describe them!"

He did. They were unmistakable. _So, my former daughter-in-law and Maric's bastard survived. _"What was her message?"

The soldier swallowed, "She said to tell you that 'we know what happened at Ostagar._' _"

The silence was oppressive. Loghain barked at the guard, "Get him out of my sight!" After the guard and solider left, Loghain sat heavily on his chair. He was exhausted and angry. Looking up at the Howe, he said, "It appears your mistake is coming back to haunt me. I want her and Maric's whelp dealt with this time!"

"Of _course,_ Sire." Howe bowed apologetically, then said, "About the Tevinter…"

"Yes." Loghain said impatiently. "What commodity do they want?"

"Elves, Sire. Something we have a plethora of in both Denerim and Highever. "

"You're talking about selling elves into slavery? I will not do it!"

"Sire, it isn't just about having the money to fight both the Bannorn and the Darkspawn; we do not have enough money to fight either the Bannorn or the Darkspawn. It is quite clear, Sire, that this must have been Orlais' plan all along. Orlesian sympathizers in the Bannorn have sowed the seeds of civil war, knowing that we cannot afford a protracted battle."

Howe paused, watching Loghain's think about the implications, then said, "Without the money from Tevinter, we cannot win either battle. Orlais will be free to _swarm_ over Ferelden under the guise of defeating the Darkspawn, and we will not be able to stop them. I know the Night Elves were a potent force during the rebellion; don't besmirch that by being unwilling to make the hard decision now."

Howe saw his words play on Loghain's fears, saw the war behind Loghain's eyes.

Loghain sighed, putting his head in his hands. His abhorrence of slavery was second only to his hatred and fear of another occupation. _I must save Ferelden by any means. _Lifting his head to address Howe he said, "Make the arrangements."

* * *

In her room at Redcliffe, Morrigan was standing by the fireplace. Her thoughts filled by the sudden reappearance of her old mentor. She was drawn into the memory of the first time they met.

_Morrigan was about 11 years old, and had recently learned how to transform into a wolf. She considered this an enormous step up from a spider, and was eager to explore the wilds in wolf form. _

_It didn't take her long to encounter a pack of wolves, and while she merely wanted to observe them, the wolves immediately growled at her. 'Why? I look like them. Why are they treating me like a threat?' Before Morrigan could react, the largest wolf attacked. The next thing she knew, she was lying on her back, on a soft bed of leaves, beneath some trees. Kneeling over her was a man, and a girl about her age, who was clearly his daughter._

"_Junge eine? Young one, can you hear me?"_

"_Who…who are you?" Morrigan asked. She knew they were Chasind, but didn't know if they meant her harm._

"_I am Udell, and this is my daughter Aya. How do you feel?"_

_As Morrigan became more alert, she realized that she hurt everywhere, but not badly. "I am sore, but not very. What happened?"_

"_What do you remember?" Udell asked._

"_I saw a group of wolves and they were angry at me. Then one them attacked." Morrigan decided not to mention she was in wolf form at the time._

_Udell smiled, "Simply looking like a wolf is not the same as being a wolf."_

"_I know that!" Morrigan said testily, as the man caught her lie._

"_Yes. So do wolves."_

"_How did you know I was in wolf form?" Morrigan asked._

"_If you knew that, young one, you would not have been attacked."_

_Morrigan grumped under her breath. " 'Twas not this difficult when I was a spider."_

_Aya had heard her and laughed, "Spiders aren't pack animals."_

"_Aya! Do not laugh at her ignorance." Udell said sharply. _

_Aya looked down at her feet. "I'm sorry for laughing." _

"_I am not ignorant!" Morrigan snapped at Udell._

"_It was not meant as an insult, youngling. Ignorance simply means being uninformed."_

_Aya tried to make amends, "So, what's your name?"_

_Morrigan frowned, "Why should I tell __you__ anything?_

_Udell signed, "I apologize for my daughter's lack of manners in laughing at you. Let us start again. I am Udell. This is my daughter, Aya. We found you badly mauled and healed you. What may we call you?"_

_Morrigan sighed in resignation. "You may call me Morrigan."_

"_Very well, Morrigan. Can you stand?"_

"_I believe so."_

_With Udell's help Morrigan was able to stand, albeit wobbly. She looked at Udell, as if sizing him up. "Of __what__ am I uninformed?"_

"_Ah, many answers to that question are possible. Let me ask you something. What did you feel like when you took wolf form?"_

"_I felt like myself, with a wolf's body."_

"_Therein lies your answer. You may be able to take the shape of a wolf, but you will not have the mind of one. However, while you will __never__ have the mind of a wolf, you __can__ learn to understand what it is to __be__ wolf."_

"_Be wolf?" Morrigan asked. His words fascinated her._

"_Yes, when you learn how to use the senses of a wolf, understand the body language of a wolf, how wolves interact and how to interact with them. These things will let you __experience__ the wilds as a wolf, not merely as a human in disguise."_

"_How am I to learn all of that?_

"_I can teach you, as I teach my daughter, who is also my apprentice."_

"_I am afraid my mother would not approve."_

_Udell knew of Morrigan's mother. "Aya, could you run back to the village and let your mother know I have been delayed. I will return in time for the evening meal."_

_Aya looked skeptically at Morrigan and then at her father, but obeyed. "Yes, father."_

_When Aya was out of sight, Udell looked at Morrigan. "I never suggested telling your mother. You are correct, Flemeth would not approve." _

Morrigan smiled remembering those years of learning to 'be wolf and bear and bird.' She learned how to experience the wilds in the animal forms she could take. She learned many fascinating things from Udell, and even from Aya. Although in the end, she knew that Aya wished they'd never met. _Then again, given what happened to Raelyn, I cannot really blame her._ Morrigan signed; the memories of that day still hurt.

_She had been angry with Aya for trying to teach her to sing. Morrigan cared little about music, much less being able to sing it, but Aya explained that songs could actually heal, so Morrigan reluctantly agreed. She __did__ learn how to heal minor wounds through song, but Aya could heal much more and Morrigan was envious. In her mind __anything__ Aya could do, __she__ should be able to do._

_She was so jealous, that she violated Udell's one rule of apprenticeship – never practice new lessons without supervision. Not only did Morrigan practice the new healing songs on her own, she was also careless about __where__ she practiced. One day, Flemeth was unexpectedly in earshot. Upon hearing Morrigan, she knew that her daughter had been interacting with the Chasind. Something that Flemeth had expressly forbidden Morrigan from __ever__ doing._

_Flemeth vented her some of her anger on Morrigan, but it was Udell's family that suffered the most. Morrigan never found out exactly what happened, except that Raelyn had paid the ultimate price for her carelessness. _

_She never saw Udell again, but she saw Aya once several months later. Morrigan was wondering the wilds as a wolf one night when she happened upon Aya. She was sitting under a tree, sobbing and cursing the day they had ever met Morrigan, wishing that her father had simply left her to die. Morrigan left the area and never revealed herself to Aya._

'_And I never looked back, until now.' _Morrigan walked away from the fireplace and crawled into bed.

* * *

It was early morning at Redcliffe, the castle was quiet, and Siobhan had come to a difficult decision. First, she needed to consult with Alistair.

She found him in the library. _This isn't going to be an easy conversation. _She looked at her second in command. "Alistair, I need to confer with you."

Alistair knew, by the tone of her voice, that she was speaking as the Commander to her Second. This was in stark contrast to her naturally affable tone; at first he thought he had done something wrong. "Have I done something wrong, Commander?"

Siobhan startled for a moment. "No. Why ever would you think so?"

Alistair gave his lopsided grin. "Usually when people are formal with me, it's because I messed-up somehow."

Siobhan smiled. "Under my command, formal means that this is a business discussion, not a friendly chat over cheese. It isn't meant as a reprimand. Trust me, if you had done something wrong, you'd know it."

Alistair appreciated the difference and took note of it. Matching her formality, he said, "What is on your mind, Commander?"

"I've been giving our mission to the Circle a lot of thought. It wasn't an easy decision, but I would like to leave you and Morrigan, here with Jowan. I will take Sten and Leliana to the Circle. If, for some reason, I cannot get help from the Circle or get help in time, I want you to have Jowan to perform his ritual, and send Morrigan into the Fade."

Alistair looked like someone had poured ice-cold water over him. "Permission to speak freely, Commander?"

"Of course."

"You _want_ to use _blood magic_?"

"No, Alistair. I want the Circle to send mages so we can save both Connor and Isolde. I do not want to kill an innocent child unless there is no other choice. Isolde has already volunteered go through with the ritual, and I respect that. Most mothers would willingly give their lives for their children."

"What about the Arl? What about Bann Teagan?"

"The Arl lies comatose. I was going to bring this to Bann Teagan after speaking with you."

"But what if Jowan is lying, or Morrigan becomes possessed?"

"You're a trained as a Templar; you know what to do if that happens. If Jowan or Morrigan become possessed, you must kill them, and if that happens, and we aren't back in time, you must also kill Connor."

Alistair sat down. "But without me, you can't sense darkspawn."

"Teagan is giving us the use of the Arl's ship. It will be a quick two-day trip to the Circle by water, giving us far less chance of encountering darkspawn."

"I don't understand how you can even contemplate this course of action."

"First of all, you do not create contingency plans for _good_ outcomes. Second, your reluctance to use blood magic is the Chantry talking. Use your heart Alistair. What does your heart tell you?"

"Save Isolde and Connor." He said without hesitation.

"And if it isn't possible to save both?"

"Save Connor, and if it comes to a choice between Connor and the wholesale slaughter of the people of Redcliffe, kill Connor." The enormity of what Siobhan was asking him was sinking in.

Siobhan caught the look in his eyes. "Alistair, I'm asking you to command this team and carry out my orders in my absence. I know I'm asking a lot of you, but if I had _any_ doubt about your ability, I would leave Sten here, not you."

"Thank you for your confidence in me."

"You have more than earned it. Now, let's talk with Teagan."

The talk with Teagan and Isolde went well. While Teagan did not like blood magic, and did not trust Jowan, he understood the tactics behind Siobhan's plan. Isolde was simply glad that her son would probably survive this whole ordeal.

Before they left, Siobhan spoke with Alistair again, "Do not let Morrigan goad you. Use this as an opportunity to try to understand her. You don't have to like her, but you have to be able to command her."

Alistair nodded. "May the Maker be with you, Commander."

"Maker be with us all." Siobhan replied.

* * *

After the report from the Ywen scouts, Gareth and Udell worked with Kasch to set up the meeting with the leader of the Falke tribe. It was to take place a half-candle before sunset, two days hence, at well-known clearing between the two villages. The clearing was ringed by trees, with soil so fertile it could nurture and grow whatever was planted. According to the scouts, the clearing had been recently overrun by darkspawn and now was dead and reeked of darkspawn taint. Udell and Gareth doubted that the Falke tribe had seen the corruption; it would make a very graphic point about the threat facing _all_ the Chasind.


	24. A Time to Reap that which is Planted

**AN:** Thanks to my awesome reviewers: Shakespira, Aya, Jinx, Wildcat717, Eva Galana, and Fairy. Thank as always to those who lurk, alert and fav this story. Last but not least, thanks to Nithu my wonderful beta and reviewer. The story is always better because of you.

Shout out to the Cheeky Monkeys! It is an honor to be in the virtual company of such great authors and friends.

Next chapter will go more into Siobhan world (and yes, some romance!)

Last note: I own nothing, bioware owns all. Also, thanks to the Byrds and Ecclesiastes for some of my titles

* * *

**Chapter 23 - A Time to Reap that which is Planted**

After the ship left the Redcliffe docks, Morrigan looked pointedly at Alistair. "So our warden has left _you_ in command? It must be the pregnancy that has made her take _leave_ of her senses."

He looked at Morrigan. _I cannot let her get under my skin. _"Yes, Morrigan, as you have so nicely acknowledged, I am in command, and as such, you will restrict your opinions about said command to the privacy of your own thoughts, is that clear?" Without giving her a chance to answer, he gestured to Bann Teagan. "Now let us meet with the Bann and discuss the plan for the next several days."

Morrigan's eyes flashed in anger, but she held her tongue as they went to talk to Teagan.

Teagan, standing with Ser Perth, watched the ship set sail. "Maker protect them and bring them back safely." Turning, they saw Alistair approach.

"Bann Teagan, I would like an opportunity to discuss how we will set up guard over Conner and the castle."

Teagan nodded. "Of course. Perth, please meet me back at the Castle…"

"Actually, my lord, would you allow Ser Perth to join us? I would like to include him in these plans as well."

"You do not want to have a templar from the Chantry?"

"No, my lord. Ser Perth has shown himself to be an excellent knight and has a level head. I don't want to risk having a templar over-react around Connor and Jowan."

Ser Perth stood even straighter at the grey warden's compliment. Teagan nodded. "Wise choice, Alistair."

Alistair explained his plans for the watch. He wanted the two mages to take turns watching over Connor and Alistair, and Ser Perth would serve as guard. Jowan and Alistair would be primary watch with Ser Perth and Morrigan each rotating in, so Jowan and Alistair could rest.

* * *

Aya had been with Fergus for the whole day and well into the night. He alternated between wake and sleep, tears and silence. Aya stayed by his side the whole time. Periodically, she would hold his hand, or stroke his hair, or gently sing. When he would not eat, she made sure he drank. When he was finally spent from crying and was limp in her arms, he fell asleep for the night. Aya, not wanting to disturb him, stretched out and gave herself over to dreams.

When Gareth came to collect his bedroll, they were still sound asleep. Watching the two of them overwhelmed Gareth with a sense of relief and a deep longing. He was relieved that someone was there to comfort and help Fergus. Aya had both the strength and compassion Fergus needed right now. At the same time, Gareth missed Siobhan so much it was a physical pain. He couldn't help but remember how it felt to hold Siobhan in his arms.

_They had just arrived in Gwaren that afternoon; it was the first night in __their__ own bedroom. The estate was quiet, especially welcome after the constant bustle at the palace. The curtain was open; moonlight beamed through the window and onto Siobhan's face, as she lay with her head pillowed on his shoulder. She was asleep, spent from making love, and Gareth was content to just watch her, memorizing every detail of her face. He remembered the feel of her warm body next to his, the silk softness of her hair._

Shaking himself out of his reverie, he gently placed a blanket over Aya, then took his bedroll and laid down outside, near the hut. Looking up into the sky, he fell asleep, remembering Siobhan's face as she slept in his arms.

* * *

Late the next morning, Fergus woke; his eyes were swollen and painful as he took in his surroundings. Aya was already awake, washed and changed, sitting next to him writing. Next to her was a steaming pot and a towel. Donnelly was snoring soundly. Gareth's bedroll was missing. Looking at Aya, his voice hoarse from crying. "How long have you been here?"

Aya smiled, "You mean this morning or yesterday?"

Fergus ran his hand through his hair, "_Both?_"

Aya smiled, "Not counting washing and dressing? Most of a day and all night."

"So you are my personal healer?

"No, _Mien Helle Seele, _I'm the _tribe's_ healer. Right now no one _else_ is in need of healing, so I have some free time." Aya said wryly.

The ghost of a smile passed across Fergus's face. "What do you mean when you say '_mine hell salla'?_

Aya, smiled at his accent, "'_Mine __hel__leh __sah__la' _means 'my bright soul' and that is how I see you."

Fergus felt drained, looking at the empty space where Gareth's bedroll once was. "I certainly wasn't being a bright soul when I kicked Gareth out of here."

"Gareth is your friend, and brother; he _knows_ it was the pain talking. He hates his father for what was done to your family, and feels terrible that he was powerless to stop it."

"I should apologize to him. None of this has been easy for him either."

Aya smiled, "See! You are my bright soul after all."

Fergus chuckled weakly.

* * *

Morrigan and Alistair were sharing a meal. This was the first time in two days they had been off watch at the same time. Connor was getting restless and Jowan wanted to take a longer shift to keep him calm.

"Morrigan, can I ask you a question?"

"From your tone, I assume this is not related to your _command_?"

"No. This is unrelated what we're doing here"

"Then why ask what would clearly be a pointless question?"

"Perhaps, it's my way of annoying you."

"Then you have succeeded." Morrigan stood up to leave.

"Morrigan, wait. I know we'll never be friends, but if we're working together to end this blight, then maybe we can come to some kind of middle ground. Please?"

Morrigan sighed deeply and sat down. "One question then."

"Did you find growing up in the Wilds lonely?"

Morrigan simply looked at Alistair. _What an odd question._ Thinking about it for moment she replied,_ "_At times perhaps. If wished companionship I ran with the wolves and flew with the birds. If I spoke, it was to the trees."

Alistair took that in. "That actually sounds wonderful."

"Interesting. 'Tis not the response I would have expected. Did you not like being raised in the Chantry?"

"No. I hated every minute of it."

"I thought they had to draft you into the Grey Wardens?"

"I was _conscripted, _but that was only because the Grand Cleric wouldn't let me go."

Morrigan stood up. "Well, I believe 'tis time for my watch." Without further comment, she walked away.

Alistair simply shook his head. _It might be easier to understand the wind._

* * *

Udell and Gareth were sharing the mid-day meal. They shared many meals together; Gareth would ask Udell about the Chasind culture and traditions and Udell would ask him about Ferelden. As a student of history, Gareth reveled in Udell's knowledge and vast experience, and he was becoming increasingly convinced that Udell was more than he appeared to be. Udell enjoyed his talks with Gareth. Gareth was a strong, passionate man with a quick mind, but he didn't let his passion rule him. In Gareth, Udell saw a natural leader, with the wisdom to integrate his strengths into a powerful force.

This morning's talk was not about history or culture, or even the meeting with the Falke. This morning's the subject had been Fergus.

Udell, looked at Gareth in amazement. "I cannot believe you slept outside the hut my friend. Why did you not come here?"

"I wasn't going to wake you up for that. I'm quite capable of sleeping outside, on the ground."

"You are a stubborn man, Gareth Mac Tir. Although, it is one of the many things I admire about you."

Gareth laughed, "Udell, not even my wife considers my stubbornness a virtue."

Udell smiled. "She is a wise woman, she knows that it is your stubbornness that helps you survive."

Gareth's expression sobered, as he pushed the ever-present thoughts of Siobhan from his mind. Udell noticed.

"I know you worry about her, my friend"

"I will continue to worry about her until I actually hold her in my arms again. I swear Udell, this time I will never let go."

Changing the subject, Udell said, "Let us discuss our plans for the meeting."

They talked and worked late into the evening before saying good night. Gareth was exhausted but, before turning in, he wanted to see how Fergus was feeling. As he approached the hut, he saw Aya come to the doorway; she had been waiting for him and met him downstairs.

"How is he?" Gareth asked anxiously.

Aya smiled, "He's resting. He is quite upset with himself for how he treated you."

Gareth waved his hand dismissively. "He has nothing to be sorry about. I just hope, at some point, he can forgive me for being the son of a monster."

Aya smiled, "Worry not my friend; Fergus bears you no malice. I suggest that you and he speak _tomorrow_ after you _both_ have had some more rest. I will stay in the hut with him tonight to make sure he sleeps. You take my hut."

"Are you sure? I can sleep outside just as easily."

"Please, Gareth. You need rest as well, and my hut is certainly more comfortable than the ground."

* * *

Gareth had a restless night, his dreams were filled with terrible images, and visions, of Siobhan being in danger. He finally gave up at dawn, got out of bed, washed and changed into clean clothes.

He had been too tired to notice much last night, but as he looked around, he found Aya's hut to be warm and cozy. While Udell's was very orderly and uncluttered, Aya's was awash in parchments; they were stacked by a comfortable chair, on her table and by her bed. She appeared to be a voracious reader and writer. Gareth tried not to read any of the parchments, but as they were piled near every possible place he could sit, he couldn't help but look. Many looked like sheets of music. _That makes sense, she sings healing songs. _Then Gareth noticed the lute and lyre. _She is a musician! I recall Siobhan mentioning how she and Fergus grew up loving all forms of music, and how it was difficult sometimes as Oriana, only liked Chantry music. _

_Trust the daughter of Udell to be more than she appears. _Gareth smiled as he left the hut to check on Fergus and join Udell for the morning meal.

When Gareth approached the hut, Fergus standing by the door squinting into the morning light, supported by Aya. He saw Gareth and weakly waved his hand; motioning him towards the hut as Aya gently pulled him inside. Needing no more encouragement Gareth jogged over and took the stairs two at a time. Pausing to collect his thoughts, he walked into the hut.

Fergus stood unsupported; Aya stood off to the side. His eyes, so like Siobhan's, held a deep sorrow. Fergus looked at Gareth. "Forgive me?"

In a voice hoarse with emotion, "There is nothing to forgive. You are my friend and brother." With that Gareth pulled Fergus into a hug and both men stood there unafraid to share their grief and their tears.

Aya smiled and softly left the hut, leaving the two men to talk.

* * *

_My Dearest one, _

_Where do I start when the last two days have tried my very soul? I suppose, I should first say that that __we__ are safe, and Sten and Leliana are safe as well. I only hope that we find things at Redcliffe no worse than when we left._

_We have secured the help of the Circle. However, as with every aspect of this journey, it came with a price. When we arrived at Kinloch Hold, we found that the Circle was no longer under the control of the Templars. A blood mage named Uldred, along with several of his supporters, turned on the Circle. During the battle, while trying to summon a demon, Uldred himself became an abomination and ravaged the Tower. Knight-Commander Greagoir sent to Denerim for the Rite of Annulment._

_That is where we came in, literally. _

_Greagoir wanted to completely purge the tower! I __refused__ to accept that the Circle was lost and argued with him (I will never again be vexed by __your__ stubbornness, my love). Greagoir finally relented and allowed __me, __Sten, __and __Leliana into the tower to rescue Irving, the First Enchanter. Fortune favored us, as the first survivor we encountered was Senior Enchanter Wynne. Not only was she alive, but she had also erected a barrier protecting her, several mages, and the children. She joined our small band as we proceeded through the tower. _

_We fought through the entire tower, and successfully rescued the First Enchanter. _

_That looks like such a simple sentence. Twelve words. Yet, hidden in those few words are horrific details I have not the stomach to recount. Suffice it to say, words like Sloth Demon, raw fade, and a slew of other equally frightening ones, would be needed to truly describe our time in the tower. _

_We have Irving and several other mages on the ship with us, and I hope that once we get to Redcliffe we can defeat the demon plaguing Connor._

_I will write more later on. _

_You are always in my thoughts, in my heart, and in my soul._

_Siobhan_

She put away her writing and noticed Leliana on deck, looking out over the lake. Since Lothering, Siobhan and Leliana has spent a lot of time chatting over the campfire. Leliana said that she was traveling minstrel, who came to Ferelden and found peace and succor at the Chantry. The mystery for Siobhan was what had _driven_ Leliana, a minstrel, from Orlais to Ferelden in the first place. Siobhan remembered Leliana's fade dream; knowing how important the Maker was to the minstrel, she worried about her.

"Leliana, could we talk for a moment?"

"Of course. What about?"

"I know what we went through at the Circle was very difficult, if you need to talk…"

Leliana laughed her musical laugh and said knowingly. "If I need to talk? You are the one carrying the biggest burdens, yes?"

Siobhan smiled. "We are all carrying burdens, but…"

"But what? Just because you lead us doesn't mean you're not allowed to feel and to show your feelings."

Siobhan looked directly at Leliana, "Just a minstrel huh?"

Leliana smiled. "Well perhaps not, but that is a tale to be told in a less public place, yes?"

Siobhan nodded. "Indeed."

* * *

Gareth stood alone at the clearing and watched both the Falke and the Ywen leaders approach. The area he chosen, marked by two chairs, was a particularly desiccated patch of ground, with a panoramic view of the oozing pustules that dotted the land. Upon seeing the clearing, the Falke leader looked as though he'd been stabbed through the heart. Udell also deeply felt the pain of the tainted land, despite being forewarned. Nothing could have prepared him for this. Their respective guards also looked around in shock.

Surrounded by the devastation, Bryti and Udell faced each other for the ritual greeting. In unison, each put their first finger to the other's forehead. "_Grüße Mein Geistbruder._" Greetings, my Spirit Brother. Gareth could hear the pain in the men's voices.

Only the two leaders sat; the warriors stood behind them. Gareth nodded to Bryti and Udell and, as Udell had taught him, said, _"Gruß-Stammes - Ältestes, danke für Ihre Anwesenheit."_ Greetings, Tribal Elders, thank you for your presence.

Kasch had already informed Bryti of the young Fereldan's battle prowess, however, it was the respect and confidence Gareth had just showed, that moved Bryti to return the greeting in Fereldan. "Thank you for the respect you show by greeting us in the Chasind tongue."

Gareth nodded.

Although Bryti and Udell spoke Fereldan, both tribes had brought a translator. Gareth wanted there to be no misunderstandings.

Gareth stood before the assembled group. Over the past two days, he and Udell had worked tirelessly on this plan. _Maker please let this work. _ His voice was calm, clear and confident. "Tribal Elders, warriors of the Falke and Ywen tribes, we are gathered here to discuss the guest-debt owed to me by both tribes. First, let it be known that Kasch, the _Druhtniaz_ of the Falke warriors, asked that his life be forfeited to pay this guest-debt. Let it also be known that I, _not_ Udell, who turned down Kasch's honorable request. Instead, I asked for this meeting to suggest another way to pay the debt. One that could bring peace to the Wilds."

Bryti speaking through his translator said, "You speak of peace? You interfered with the Falke tribe's _ability_ to find a safe home! The Ywen village was to have served that purpose."

Udell spoke, "Served that purpose? You would have murdered my people and taken our village as your own!"

"They are not my people."

Udell spat on the ground, "That is what I give your people!"

Bryti tensed, hand to his dagger.

"GENUG! ENOUGH!" Gareth's voice boomed, stopping the two men and bringing all eyes to him.

Gareth pointed to the dead and rotting ground. "Do you want this putrid taint to be all that's left of your Wilds? Do you think that running away or hiding in a village will save you? The horde will not go away quietly; they will not respect village gates; they _cannot_ be outrun."

"But we are the Falke!" One of the Falke warriors said proudly.

Gareth turned to the tribesman and said with disdain, "The Horde doesn't care what tribe you're from! The horde doesn't care if you're human, elf, or dwarf. They don't care. They kill."

"But the Horde is massive, how can we few defeat them?" Bryti asked, in Fereldan

"You few cannot."

Shouts came from both tribes.

Gareth held up his hand. "Alone you will fall. The _o_nly way to defeat them is to be united, to fight them as one people. For this war you cannot just be Falke or Ywen, you must be the Chasind. You want to settle this guest debt? Then here is my price; I ask that you join me. Together we work to unite the other tribes. Together we can reclaim the Korcari Wilds for the Chasind!"

"You ask the impossible." Bryti grumbled.

Gareth deliberately goaded him. "Really? My _woman_ is a Grey Warden. _She_ brings together Dalish, dwarves, and Fereldans to fight as _one,_ because this evil threatens more than just the Wilds. This is a disease that will devour all life in Thedas. I thought you were warriors! Can Fereldans, Dwarves, and Dalish do what the Chasind cannot?"

Both groups were silent. Bryti requested the translation cease and spoke directly to Udell "_I am shamed that it took a Fereldan to point out our lack of honor in the face of the Dark Murders."_

"_By 'our' you mean the Falke?"_

"_No, I mean the Falk __and__ the Ywen."_

"_Spirit Brother, if we can share shame, can we not also share honor?"_

Gareth didn't understand what had been said; he held his tongue and waited, counting on Udell's wisdom. Bryti stood up and said in Fereldan. "Gareth Mac Tir, you have shamed us by pointing out our lack of honor in dealing with the Dark Ones. We need to regain our honor. _Chasind_ honor."

Gareth spoke to both men, "Then may you unite in the name of Chasind honor. Only a united Chasind force can drive the horde away from the Wilds and into the maw of the larger army."

Udell stood next to Bryti, "Let Yew and Hawk join, and serve as the beginning of the end of the Horde."

Bryti nodded; he and Udell grasped arms in agreement. Bryti gestured to Gareth and said to all assembled, "Together, with the help of our Fereldan guest, we will fight to wipe the Horde off the face of Thedas!"

Gareth shouted "_Für das Chasind!"_ For the Chasind.

Both tribes cheered. Udell looked at Gareth and smiled.

* * *

Siobhan arrived at Redcliffe and was relieved that the situation had not gotten worse. In fact, one aspect had actually improved: Alistair and Morrigan. Alistair gave Siobhan a status report and Morrigan didn't interject with an acerbic or cutting remark, even once. It wasn't that she wasn't thinking them; they were plainly written on her face, but she was actually holding her tongue. _Well done Alistair!_

It was evening; the mages went back to Kinloch Hold. Connor, freed from the demon, was sleeping. The Arl was still comatose, but Siobhan had agreed to seek the Urn of Sacred Ashes. A relieved Isolde retired for the night. Teagan assembled everyone in the dinning hall and treated the group to a banquet.

The small group feasted on good food and ale. Siobhan found out, during the ride across the lake, that Sten loved cookies, so she asked if the cook could bake some. After dinner Sten sat with a basket of cookies, savoring each one with a look of pure delight. Leliana played and sang. Teagan tried to get Siobhan to dance, but she politely refused; a shadow of heartache in her eyes. Alistair noticed and suggested that Teagan ask Wynne to dance. Teagan understood. Alistair brought over some dessert cheese to savor with Siobhan and regaled her with his knowledge of cheese making. After dancing, Wynne and Teagan sat with Alistair and Siobhan. Teagan shared funny stories about Alistair as a small boy, including the one about his being covered in mud. Teagan's love and affection for his foster nephew was clear to Siobhan, who wished he had been Alistair's foster father.

Alistair was different too. He stood straighter, was less self-effacing, and more confident in his speech and manners. Siobhan smiled with sisterly pride.

Siobhan tried to enjoy the small party, but inside she was a storm of worry, heartache and fear. She stayed as long as she could, but was the first to leave the party, claiming the need to sleep for two. Once out of sight, she practically ran to her room; she threw herself on the bed and gave herself over to tears.

Alistair's worry was clear and he started to go after Siobhan, but Wynne held his arm. "Alistair, let me check on her; I might be able to help."

Alistair nodded, and Teagan asked a servant to direct her to the Warden Commander's room.

* * *

It was a triumphant group that returned to the village. Aya met them at the gate and Udell filled her in on the meeting. Aya smiled and hugged her father and Gareth.

Gareth looked at Udell, "Now the _real_ work begins."

Udell smiled, "Not until tomorrow. Go to sleep Gareth, sleep well and dream."

Gareth was too tired to catch the smile in Udell's voice and simply bid the older man and his daughter good night.


	25. A Time To Speak

AN: Thank you to all who review, alert and fav. It means a lot to me. Thank you to Jinx and Randomwittering, two awesome women, who are responsible for me having the courage to continue writing this story. I am privileged to call you friends.

A shout out to all the Cheeky Monkeys - you often make my days possible.

And a special thank you to my awesome, talented, and patient Beta, Nithu.

As always, Bioware owns all.

Contains content NSFW!

* * *

**Chapter 24. A Time to Speak**

Aya pulled her father aside after Gareth left for the hut. "Father, what are Morrigan and Flemeth up to? I've spent a lot of time thinking about this and something doesn't add up. Why is it _so_ important to _Flemeth_ to end the blight? She is too powerful to be threatened by the Dark Ones."

"The Archdemon affects us all. Even Flemeth."

"Then why doesn't she use her powers directly to fight? Why is she manipulating things?"

Udell looked sharply at Aya. "What do you mean?"

"Fergus and Gareth were talking yesterday and Gareth said something that didn't make sense. Fergus and I spoke about it later. Gareth said that they had been _declared_ dead. However, Fergus remembered that just as the fight started, he signaled one of their men to go back Ostagar and request _help_."

"Perhaps the man never made it back to Ostagar?"

Aya shook her head sharply. "Fergus was very clear on this Father. He said, that if the solider never arrived at Ostagar, Fergus and Gareth would not have been _declared_ dead; they would have been considered _missing_. No, for them to be declared dead, someone would have had to report that. Fergus trusted this man, he could not figure out _why_ he would deliver the wrong message?"

"You believe that _Flemeth_ is the reason the soldier changed his message?"

"Father, I have nothing but theories, but that _feels_ right."

Udell thought about it. "According to the scouts who rescued Gareth and Fergus, the fight with Flemeth was fairly quick; it must have been over soon after Fergus dispatched the solider to Ostagar. Given where they were found, it is easily possible that Flemeth had enough time to intercept the soldier."

"Father, clearly she has an ulterior motive; I don't want to see you or _any_ of us hurt."

"Ah, my wise, Aya. I do not know what Flemeth's plan is, but I do know that Morrigan is involved." Aya was about to speak, but Udell held up his hand. "I do _not_ think that Morrigan _truly_ knows the extent of her own involvement. Flemeth is manipulating Morrigan as well."

"So what do we do?"

"You mean what do _I _do. _I_ must see what I can find out about Morrigan, and that is not a job for _you_, my sweet Aya."

Aya looked down at the ground then looked up at Udell, her eyes filled with tears. "I will never forgive her for what she did. I don't know how you can even _talk_ to that cold, heartless _dämonfischeier!_"*

Udell pulled Aya into his arms, stroking her hair he spoke very softly. "I can talk to Morrigan because she is _not_ the one who killed your mother. Flemeth bears sole responsibility for that act. Morrigan is, and always has been, manipulated by her mother. If I can get her to see that and break free of her mother, then perhaps I will have, in some small measure, struck a blow against Flemeth."

Aya pulled away from Udell. "Father, I _beg_ you to be careful. I will not loose you to Flemeth too."

"I will be careful, Aya, that I promise you. Now, go to sleep, it had been a _long_ day."

Udell went up to his hut and prepared his ritual pipe. Tonight he needed to talk with Siobhan directly.

* * *

Wynne knocked on Siobhan's door. She heard the sobs within abruptly stop. A few moments later, Siobhan opened the door; her eyes and nose were red, but her voice was calm. "Hello, Wynne, is there something I can do for you?"

"Actually, I was wondering if _I_ could be of some assistance?"

Siobhan looked at the older woman. She reminded her of her Grandmother, Edana Cousland, both in looks and personality. Both women had strong opinions that they were all too happy to share, albeit lovingly, and both had backbone's of steel.

Siobhan smiled and sighed. "Thank you, Wynne. It's nothing that my husband's return and the end of the blight wouldn't cure."

Wynne entered the room and looked at Siobhan with a critical eye. "I don't have to tell you that stress isn't good for the baby do I? I know you're a strong woman, but you _can_ lean on others, talk about your pain. Open up. It will be better for you, for the baby, _and_ for us."

"I know. It's just been so _overwhelming_. I barely have time to catch a breath; I never _expected_ to be leading a party through _Ferelden,_ trying to amass an _army_…Maker, now I'm whinging." Siobhan sat heavily on the bed, rubbing her forehead. "You're right, Wynne. I cannot do this alone, I will open-up more; I promise."

"From anyone else, I would think I was being brushed off, but not from you. You have a genuineness about you that is quite refreshing to see among young nobles."

"Thank you, Wynne; that means a lot." Siobhan chuckled. "You remind me a lot of my grandmother, genuinely kind, and tough as nails."

Wynne smiled. "She sounds like someone I would have liked."

"Wynne, could you…make sure everything is ok with the baby? The episode in the Circle really scared me."

"Certainly. Have you felt that anything was wrong?"

"No. No pain or anything, it was just…the horror of what we went through at the circle…I…"

"Siobhan, why don't you lie down?"

Siobhan laid down on the bed and closed her eyes, her heart pounded in her chest. _Maker,_ _please let the baby be well. Please let the dreams only be nightmares. _As Wynne waved her hands over Siobhan, a blue glow emanated from them. Siobhan felt the warmth spread over her body.

After a few minutes, Wynne straighten up and smiled. "The baby is fine. In fact, you should feel it quicken soon."

Tears of relief came to her eyes. "Thank you, Wynne." However, the tears didn't stop; she began to sob, and couldn't stop. Wynne took her into her arms and rocked her. After a little while, the crying subsided.

Siobhan looked at Wynne. "I'm sorry, I got your shoulder all wet."

"Worse things have happened to these robes. Do you feel better?"

"Yes. Actually, I do."

"See, that wasn't hard?" Wynne smiled

Siobhan wiped her eyes. "I think that we'll stay at Redcliffe for another day, if it's alright with the bann. It's important that we all get at least one solid day of rest before starting out. I'll check with him and then let everyone know before bedtime."

Wynne nodded. "I think that is a _wonderful_ idea."

"Thank you, Wynne. For everything."

Wynne smiled and left the room. Siobhan took some time to fix her hair, wash her face, and straighten her clothes. Looking in the mirror, she shuddered, shook her head, and left the bedroom.

She went looking for Teagan. Walking around the corner of the hall, she almost ran directly into him. Siobhan tried to dodge out of the way, but Teagan instinctively reached out to her so she wouldn't fall. Their combined momentum and Teagan's tipsiness, made them loose their balance and fall. They ended up in a heap on the floor; Teagan was on his back, Siobhan partially over him, with one leg between his.

Teagan tried to extricate himself, and was completely flustered. "Maker! Lady Cou…Commander …_Siobhan! _I am _so_ sorry! Are you hurt?"

Siobhan, who was still partially on top of Teagan, took in the ridiculousness of the situation and started to laugh.

Teagan looked concerned for a moment, then he too started to laugh. Gently pulling away from Siobhan, he tried to stand up, but stumbled. He began laughing so hard, he slid down the wall; this made Siobhan laugh more.

"We…we'd better… be quiet…be…before we wake…Arlessa Isolde." Siobhan tried to say between giggles.

The thought of his sister-in-law's face if she saw this, made Teagan laugh even harder.

Alistair, who was going to bed, came to see the source of the noise. He saw Teagan leaning against the wall trying to stand up and, Siobhan leaning back on the floor, both were laughing so hard that tears were streaming down their faces.

"I didn't realize the party had moved to the corridor." Alistair smiled and extended a hand to Siobhan to help her up. Despite being tipsy himself, Alistair was strong and sturdy and Siobhan was able to let him to do the work in helping her stand. Teagan had also managed right himself and was brushing off his clothes.

Siobhan was taking deep breaths to quiet the giggles. Looking at Alistair, she smiled. "Thank you, Alistair."

Teagan cleared his throat. "Commander, please accept my apologies. I should have looked where I was going."

"Oh please, my lord, do not apologize! Aside from a slightly bruised backside, I think I'm the better for the laugh. However, I _do_ apologize for any awkwardness my sense of humor may have caused you."

"Please, my lady, no need to apologize for _that_!"

Clearing her throat, Siobhan said, "Actually, I'm glad I _ran_ into you my lord. I was going to beg your indulgence and ask if we could impose upon you for an additional day? I would like my companions to have a full day of rest before we continue on our journey."

Teagan smiled. "It would hardly be considered an imposition, considering the assistance you have given my family. Please stay as long as you need. I just have one request, Commander."

"My lord?"

"_Please_ call me Teagan."

Siobhan smiled. "Please call me Siobhan."

Alistair shrugged. "Everyone calls _me_ Alistair."

Siobhan's eyes twinkled, "I could call you Al?"

Alistair rolled his eyes.

"Perhaps you prefer '_Monsieur Expert en Matière de Fromage_'"

Alastair arched an eyebrow then laughed. "_Ser Cheese Expert! _No, thank you! I think I'll just stick with Royal Bastard."

Teagan looked between Siobhan and Alistair, smiled and shook his head, "I think this is where I will bid you both good night."

After bidding Teagan good night, Alistair looked at Siobhan. His eyes were full of concern. "Are _you_ alright? When you left the festivities tonight, I was worried."

Siobhan placed her had on his shoulder. "I was feeling a bit overwhelmed and needed to be alone, then Wynne came by and gently beat some sense into me. After a good cry and a good laugh, I'm fine."

"A good laugh, huh? Well, I'll keep that in mind. Would you like me to inform everyone about the change in plan?"

"Are _you_ alright staying here an additional day, or do you think we should just get on the road?"

"I'm fine with staying here. I think it's a good idea; thank you for thinking of it."

"Yes, if you could let the other's know that would be a big help. I think I need to get some rest. Good night, Alistair"

"Sleep well, Siobhan."

* * *

Udell moved quickly through the fade, tracking Siobhan, hoping she was asleep. As expected, Morrigan was standing watch; a lone sentinel in the eerie wash of the fade. _I may have taught you much, my lehrling, but not __**everything.**_

Udell's essence coalesced into the body of an elderly mage, one of the many who walk the fade. He moved past Morrigan, feigning disinterest, as many mages did when recognizing their own kind. Morrigan looked at him, saw no threat, and looked away. Once out of her line of sight, he resumed his own form and saw Siobhan shimmer into the fade.

Siobhan started when he appeared next to her. Without thinking, she lashed out with her fist, hitting Udell in the face. Udell staggered, but did not defend himself. Siobhan recognized this and visibly relaxed. "My apologies, I feared you were a demon."

"A smart thing to fear in the fade. Although, you are not a mage, how did you know?"

"Let's just say, I've recently had an accelerated education about fade demons." Siobhan looked closely at the old man, "Udell?"

"You recognize me?"

"Gareth described you. He has a knack for descriptions."

"He is a very intelligent man, but you already know that."

Siobhan smiled, and then furrowed her brows. "Why isn't Morrigan here?"

"I wanted to avoid her, as what I have to say is for your ears alone."

Siobhan nodded. "Is there actually a _private_ place to talk in the Fade?"

"Close your eyes Siobhan, and you will see."

Siobhan closed them, reluctantly; she briefly felt off-balance. "_Udell?_"

"Open your eyes."

She was standing in the courtyard of their home in Gwaren. Udell sat on the grass under a tree and motioned Siobhan to join him. "Siobhan, how much do you know about Morrigan?"

Siobhan thought about it for a moment. "She is Flemeth's daughter, and grew up having very little contact with life outside the wilds. She values power and self-preservation above all else; although my _sense_ is that this is more a matter of Flemeth's influence. Her disdain for men is clear; however, in her heart, I think she _can_ care about others but she was raised to think of that as a weakness."

"You have known Morrigan for only a short time, but you have learned much."

"So, you were testing me?

"Not you, but Morrigan. Have you ever wondered why Flemeth sent her along with you?

"Many times, although the simple answer is that as two fledgling Grey Wardens, we needed all the help we could get. However, I do know that nothing involving Flemeth is simple."

Udell stroked his chin. "You see much, Siobhan. My concern is that Flemeth is weaving a plan that goes beyond the defeat of the Blight. Morrigan is a part of the plan, but I don't think she realizes that her mother is merely using her."

"You think Morrigan is unaware of this?

"No, not entirely. I am sure there is the reason Flemeth _told_ Morrigan, and then there is the real reason. Morrigan is only aware of the former not the latter."

"Am I harboring a traitor?"

"No. Morrigan will not betray you, of that I am sure. Flemeth wants the Blight to end just as much as any of us. I know that I am being, as my daughter would say, _annoyingly cryptic_, but all I have is my intuition and my knowledge of Flemeth and Morrigan."

"How is it that you know Morrigan?"

"She was my apprentice a long time ago."

"Apprentice? I cannot imagine Flemeth allowing that."

"You are right again. I trained Morrigan in secret. She and my daughter were apprentices together."

"Is that why Morrigan has such a deep understanding of the Wilds and places like it? I know she's a shape shifter, I've seen her do it, but she assumes more than their shape. She has an intrinsic understanding of the animal shape she assumes. Did you teach her that?"

Udell smiled, a hint of pride in his eyes. "Yes, those were the nature of many of our lessons. I think the reason I am telling you all of this is that I don't want you to hold Morrigan at arms length. I want you to continue to befriend her, draw her out, and show her that it isn't a weakness to care."

"Other than being a kind human being, why are you asking me to do this?"

"Two reasons. One, because I want to help right a very old wrong and two, because it is the only way we will be able to unravel Flemeth's web."

Siobhan studied Udell, the way he held himself, the look in his eyes, the power that radiated from him, all summed up to more than simply the chief of a Chasind tribe. She should have been hesitant, but in her heart she knew she could trust this man.

"I will do as you ask."

Udell stood up and held a hand to Siobhan. "You are all that Gareth says, and more. Your trust honors me. Now, go into the house and say hello to your husband. I will be here to escort you back."

Siobhan smiled and ran towards the house.

Gareth found himself, once again, in the bedroom of their house in Gwaren. He suddenly heard someone run up the stairs. _I'd know those footfalls anywhere. _He was just about to open the door when in walked Siobhan.

Without pause, he pulled her into his arms. His mouth found hers, in a kiss that was a spark to a flame; passion ignited in them both. Gareth left a trail of blistering kisses down her neck. Siobhan, eager to have his skin against hers, pulled his tunic off and ran her hands over his warm chest, feeling the muscles ripple under her touch. She started to lick and nibble his shoulders, traveling down to his chest and abdomen, stopping just above the waist of his breeches.

From a kneeling position, she looked up into Gareth's eyes as she unlaced his breeches and slowly slid them down. Gareth stepped out of them, and Siobhan ran her hands up the insides of his legs, making him throw his head back and moan. Then she did the same thing to his smalls, but instead of running her hands back up his leg, she took him into her mouth. Gareth's head came forward as he gasped, the feeling of her warm mouth on him caused him to buck his hips.

Siobhan's mouth had firm command of his arousal, using her tongue, fingers, and lips to bring Gareth perilously close to his own release. "Maker, Siobhan, I won't be able to hold out if you keep that up." Pulling her up gently, his deep voice like an intimate caress, he said, "Cariad, you are over-dressed."

Siobhan smiled. "Why don't you lay down, while I rectify that?"

"Putting on a little show?"

"Only for you, my dear one." She purred.

Gareth laid on the bed and watched as Siobhan slowly unlaced her nightdress, bringing it off her shoulders, and letting it slide down in a puddle on the floor. Naked, save for her smalls, she raised her arms above her head, stretched her body and arched her back. Then she stood up straight and ran her hands over her breasts, twirling her fingers around her nipples and moaning. All the while looking at Gareth. She ran her hands down her sides to her hips, slipping her thumbs below the waistband of her smalls. She turned her back to Gareth, and slowly slid them down her legs, bending at the waist as she did so, and giving her husband a full view of her rounded behind and her glistening nether region.

Before she could straighten up, she felt Gareth behind her. One hand slid around her shoulders, pulling her back up and against him, the other hand slid around her waist. He growled in her ear, "You make me want to toss you on the bed and take you repeatedly, making you come until you can't anymore."

Siobhan purred and rubbed her back against his coarse chest hair, and rubbed her bottom against his manhood.

Gareth responded, by rolling a nipple between his thumb and forefinger, while he kissed her neck, and slowly slid his hand between her legs. His fingers fluttered around her wet lips teasingly.

Siobhan gasped and moaned at his touch; her hips rocked against his hand as he continued to tease. Panting, she reached between behind her and started to stroke his hardness.

Gareth pinched a nipple hard and gently bit her neck, she squealed and her knees buckled. His finger slipped inside her and his thumb stroked her pearl. Siobhan came hard, calling his name like a prayer. Still trembling from her release, Gareth picked her up and carried her over to the bed. Laying her down, he looked at her. "That's one." Then he covered her body with his, slipped between her legs and took her fast and hard bringing her over the edge again.

Siobhan looked up into Gareth's eyes, which burned with the same passion she felt. He still had not had his release, and Siobhan smiled. "That's two."

Later, they laid in each other's arms. Gareth told Siobhan about the success of the meeting between the two tribes. He told her about Fergus, and how Aya had stayed by his side. She told him about the Circle, and about the Arl and the Urn of Andraste's ashes.

Siobhan said, "We need to meet outside of the Fade. I need to hold you in my arms and know that you'll be there when I wake up."

"As do I, Cariad. What is your next task?"

"We need to go to Denerim and find Brother Genetivi. On the way, I want to go to the Brecilian Forest and see if we can secure the support of the Dalish. Regardless of what we find in Denerim, we will go back to Redcliffe. I figure that will take about a month or so.

"By then, I should be able to get a force together to move through the wilds. It is my hope that we can reclaim Ostagar as a base of operations for the Chasind. Perhaps we can meet there? Then we can decide how to proceed, especially considering the baby. I will try to find a way to get a message to Redcliffe. Be very careful in Denerim, Cariad, _please_."

"I will. I love you, Gareth Mac Tir."

"And I love you."

* * *

Siobhan woke up and curled against her pillow. She was feeling more rested than she should, and thinking about all that Udell had said. _Please, keep Gareth and Fergus safe. _Tears threatened her eyes, so Siobhan resolutely got out of bed and decided to train.

She met Alistair in the courtyard. He was up early, too, and had the same idea, so they sparred together. Siobhan was able to direct her worry and nervous energy into the sparring session, and felt some of the tension bleed away.

Afterward, Siobhan looked at Alistair. "Thank you. I needed that."

Alistair rubbed his shoulder, where he had taken a solid hit, and chuckled. "You mean sparring, or beating me up?"

"Beating you up? I only _bruised_ your shoulder. I didn't realize you were so delicate." Siobhan smiled.

"_I am_, _I am_." Alistair teased.

"Alright, my tender second, apparently you need more toughening up." Siobhan laughed. This banter reminded her of her many training sessions with Fergus.

Alistair, pleased to see her laugh, said, "As long as I can raise my arms enough to tend to my hair!"

"You mean that look is _intentional_? I thought it just grew that way."

"Is this kind of teasing that goes on between siblings?" Alistair laughed.

"Well, it did between Fergus and me." Siobhan wished Alistair had had a chance to experience the kind of bond with Cailan.

Alistair nodded. "I have a half-sister, we've just never met. Her name is Goldana and, I think, she lives in Denerim."

Siobhan knew Alistair didn't have a sister, but this wasn't the time or the place to discuss it.

"Alistair, would it upset you if I told that _I_ have come to see you as a brother?"

"That would depend."

"On?"

"Whether or not, you let me win once in a while." Alistair smiled.

"Spoil sport."

The both laughed as they went inside for breakfast. Alistair left to wash up, and Siobhan intercepted Teagan, who was on his way to breakfast.

"Pardon my appearance, Teagan, but I wanted to catch you before you began your day. Could you and I talk later on?"

"Of course, shall we meet in my brother's study after the mid-day meal?"

"Thank you. That would be perfect."

"Might I ask what this is about?"

"Strategy."

"Shouldn't we involve Alistair?"

"After I've had a chance to talk with you, yes."

Teagan arched an eyebrow and nodded. "I understand."

"I thought that you would."

Soon after finishing the midday meal, Siobhan arrived in the study. Teagan sent a message that he would be slightly delayed, so she looked around. The sleeve of her tunic caught on the filigree of small ornate box, sitting atop the arl's desk. As it toppled on to the floor, an amulet rolled out.

Quickly setting the box back on the desk, she examined the amulet. It had clearly been broken into many pieces and painstakingly reassembled. _Maker! This is Alistair's mother's amulet! _Alistair had described it to Siobhan during one of their evening campfire chats. Looking to make sure no one was around, Siobhan pocketed it. She had just enough time to stash it and sit down when Teagan walked in.

Siobhan began, without preamble. "Teagan, what do _you_ think the arl should do once he recovers."

"You mean _if_?"

"No, I mean when. We _will_ find those ashes."

"I admire your confidence Siobhan; it gives one cause to hope. Why do you ask me? I'm only the bann."

Siobhan smiled. "Don't play coy with me. You may be bann, but you are the arl's brother and your sister was Queen Rowan; you know more than most about Ferelden's political landscape."

Teagan thought about it, and then said, "Eamon should, and probably will, call a Landsmeet to bring Loghain's various actions out in the open, and to formally decide the throne. But you are a teyrna; you didn't need _me_ to tell you that."

Siobhan merely shrugged. "Will the arl support Anora for the throne, or will he put Alistair forward?"

Teagan looked at Siobhan. "He _will_ put forth Alistair."

"What if Alistair doesn't _want_ to be King?"

"For my brother, I don't think _want_ enters into it. Eamon would think it is Alistair's _duty_ as a Theirin."

"What do _you_ think?"

Teagan leaned back in his chair. "What do _I_ think? You are a Cousland; you cut your teeth on the concept of duty. Don't _you_ think it's Alistair's duty to assume the throne?"

"Teagan, I'm going to be _very_ blunt with you, please know that I bear _you_ no malice. The arl and arlessa treated Alistair _deplorably_. He spent his life being hidden like a dirty little secret, was made to sleep in the _stables_, and then forced into the Chantry when he was _ten years old_. He hated every moment of his time there. The _only_ thing he was able to _choose_ was to become a Warden. He found fellowship among the wardens, which was _ripped_ from him at Ostagar. If he _truly_ doesn't want to be king, I think it would be cruel to force it upon him."

Teagan stroked his chin and frowned. "I cannot argue with the truth; I too was ashamed by how Eamon and Isolde handled Alistair. However, I know Eamon; if he couldn't convince Alistair to take the throne, he would give his support to Anora, just so we can avoid a civil war."

"The arl has never made a secret of the store he puts in the Calenhad bloodline. Would he _really_ support Anora or would he merely _threaten_ it in order to manipulate Alistair?"

Teagan leaned forward. "You presume much about _my_ brother's motivations."

"What motivations would those be? Ensuring a Theirin sits on the throne or keeping the peace in Ferelden by supporting the woman who had a hand in Cailan's death?"

"What?" Sputtered Teagan.

"Gareth and I had known for some time that Cailan was suspicious of Anora. Gareth was concerned that Anora was manipulating their father's blind spot, when it came to Ferelden's security. After Highever and Ostagar, I firmly believe that Anora is either in collaboration with, or acted at the behest of, Rendon Howe to fuel Loghain's paranoia."

"Those are grievous charges, if they are true."

"Weren't you the one who said you didn't believe the 'lies being spewed by Loghain and Anora'? Who do you think came up with the false document implementing my father in an Orlesian conspiracy? _Loghain?_ He may be one of the least liked men in Ferelden, but it has _never_ been for his skills in subterfuge. He has always been forthright, painfully so." Siobhan's voice softened to almost a whisper. "That's where Gareth gets it, although he hates to admit it."

Teagan saw the pain in Siobhan's eyes, and realized how much rested on her shoulders, how much grief and suffering she had endured. Yet, he was filled with an almost brotherly pride at the strength and grace with which she bore it. Suddenly it occurred to him, when Siobhan spoke of the accusations against her father, she said document not documents. _Maker's sake, she may not know about the documented confession! _

Teagan came around to face Siobhan, then knelt in front of her taking her hand in his. Siobhan saw the worry in his eyes, and felt fear suddenly wrapped its icy tendrils around her heart.

"Teagan?"

"Siobhan, what I have to say is going to be hard to hear, but know that I _don't_ believe a word of it."

"Of what?"

"In addition to the document Loghain showed you at Ostagar, there is another." He felt her hand tighten in his. "Loghain has a document that is _purported_ to be a confession of treason, signed by your father and witnessed by a Chantry priest."

Teagan saw all the color drain from her face and caught her as she started to slip out of the chair. He lifted her into his arms, calling for someone to get a healer.

* * *

* Approximately translated as Demon spawn


	26. Promises Broken

AN: This is a short update, but an important one for Alistair. This chapter refers to conversations in the chapters Stripped Bare and Not by Any Means Necessary.

Thank you to all who have reviewed, faved and alerted. Your reviews mean a lot to me.

A special thank you to my awesome Beta Nithu, and to Jinx for her insight and input.

* * *

**Chapter 25 - Promises Broken**

Wynne arrived as Teagan laid Siobhan on a couch.

"Bann Teagan, what happened?"

"I gave her some upsetting news. She went pale, then fainted."

Wynne held her hands above Siobhan's head. Within moments she opened her eyes to see Wynne, Teagan, and now Alistair standing over her.

Siobhan blinked a few times.

"How are you feeling, dear?" Wynne asked.

"Woozy, but otherwise alright. What happened?"

"What's the last thing you remember?" Wynne said softly.

Siobhan's eyebrows furrowed as she tried to gather her thoughts. Suddenly, her eyes went wide, then she squeezed them shut, and covered them with her hands. Her body trembled. Then she took several very deep breaths. After a few moments she uncovered her eyes, stood up, squared her shoulders, and cleared her throat. "Bann Teagan, I need a place to meet with my party, so I can share this recent bit of news. Especially, as we need to go to Denerim to speak to Brother Genitivi."

"You may have the arl's study; I will have the staff notify the rest of your party. When do you want to hold the meeting?

"I would like to start the meeting as soon as everyone's assembled. I will inform Morrigan, as I have something I need to discuss with her privately. Thank you, Bann Teagan. I really appreciate your help."

Alistair placed his hand on her shoulder. "You gave us a bit of a scare. Are you sure you're feeling alright?"

Siobhan simply nodded.

* * *

Siobhan knocked on Morrigan's door.

"You may enter."

Morrigan's back was to the door; she was standing by her fireplace, much as she did by her fire in camp.

Morrigan turned. "I suppose our party will expand to accommodate that _crone_ from the Circle?"

"If you mean _Wynne_, yes. During our time at Kinloch Hold, she proved to be a gifted healer, something our party could use… unless, of course, _you_ plan on continuing in that role?" Siobhan knew very well that Morrigan preferred battle, and complained _constantly_ about being the party's main healer.

Siobhan hit her mark. Morrigan shuddered and sighed. "No! Thank you very much. I will gladly give over that duty to the Circle mage. Is there anything else?"

"Yes. When we were in the tower, Wynne and I came across a book. Not being a mage, I wasn't sure what it was. _Wynne_ recognized it as a grimoire, specifically Flemeth's." Siobhan brought the large book from behind her back and presented it to Morrigan. "I thought you might like to have it."

With great reverence, Morrigan took the book. Her eyes alight. "This _is_ my mother's grimoire! I had always suspected it was with the Circle. You have my thanks! I will study the tome immediately."

"What do you expect to find?"

"Secrets. My mother has many of them, and this tome represents one of the few times they were able to get away from her. I _do not_ intend to squander the opportunity to learn more than Flemeth wished me to know. This should be…interesting."

"Then I'm very glad _Wynne_ knew what it was." Siobhan smiled.

Morrigan smiled reluctantly. "I am sure she has her uses. However, do not tell me that she was _willing_ to hand it over to _me_. I am very sure 'twas your insistence that won the day. The thanks, my friend, is _yours_."

* * *

Alistair, Wynne, and Leliana were already in the study when Siobhan and Morrigan entered. Sten arrived shortly after. Siobhan looked at the group. _Maker, please guide me in this journey, help me do right by these people._

She explained about both of the documents now being used to prove her father of treason. "I know this is…difficult news to take in. If any of you have _any_ doubt about my family's allegiance, or me, or about _me _leading this group_,_ please speak up, either here or privately, without fear of reprisal. I promise to fight with every fiber of my being to end this blight, and clear my family name, even if that includes my not being the leader."

Alistair was angry. "Maker's sake! Is there no end to their villainy? We cannot let them drive a wedge here too" _How much does this woman have to bear?_

Siobhan's voice was soft and calm. "Alistair, please. I appreciate your support, but everyone needs to voice what's in _their_ hearts."

Leliana spoke. "I know it is the Maker's wish that I follow you. You are meant to lead this group."

Wynne smiled. "You are the reason I still have a home to return to."

Sten frowned. "It is a strong leader who can even ask such a question. I will continue to follow you."

Morrigan looked at Siobhan. " 'Twould take more than this to make me doubt your leadership, Siobhan."

Siobhan smiled at the genuine affection conveyed by everyone's words. "Thank you, all of you. Now we need to discuss what this information means for our next steps. I had _hoped_ to go the Brecilian Forest and seek out the Dalish. After securing the their commitment, we could continue on to Denerim to seek out Brother Genitivi."

"Crafting those false documents required very special skills, and very special contacts. When we are in Denerim, I can track who has such talents for sale. That would be useful information, no?" Leliana asked.

"Frankly, I think it's too dangerous for Alistair or Siobhan to go to Denerim. Surely your likenesses are well-known?" Wynne added.

"Perhaps I and one other should go to Denerim and the rest go to the Brecilian forest?" Leliana suggested.

Siobhan sighed. "I don't want to split up the party; there are too few of us as is.

Sten rumbled, "Tracking down this information will not bring us closer to ending the Blight. Would it not be more prudent, to first end the Blight? If we fail at that, what would be the point in determining who is responsible for the documents?

"Sten, this is beyond the integrity of _my_ family name. We must have a united Ferelden to fight this Blight. To do that, we must eliminate this divisive regency. Knowing how those documents came into being will bring us a step closer to doing that."

Sten thought about this growled his displeasure. "As you wish, Commander."

"You all have made valid points; I need to think on this before I decide. I propose we stay an additional day, as it will give us more time to plan. Agreed?"

Everyone agreed and Siobhan ended the meeting. After she was alone, Siobhan dropped into the arl's desk chair, her face deathly pale. As she rested, she looked around the study. Her eyes were drawn to a small portrait of Maric and Rowan. She thought about Alistair and Cailan. She remembered Duncan telling her about Alistair's parentage at Ostagar, and how Gareth had found out. She also remembered Duncan's final words to her on the subject. 'He knows he is Maric son, but not about Fiona, and he is never to find out about Fiona either.'

_Maric, I don't know why Fiona made you promise not to acknowledge Alistair, and I don't care. You were a __**fool**__ to make such a promise, and a thoughtless bastard to force Rowan's own brothers to help you. _

She pulled the amulet out of her pocket. _The secrets end now. _

* * *

Siobhan looked for Alistair. She found him in dining hall, having a small snack.

"Alistair, I need to speak with you, but I would rather it be somewhere more comfortable and less formal."

Alistair arched his eyebrow and smiled. "Commander, you are a _married_ woman!"

Siobhan realized how it sounded and laughed. "No, no. I mean that this is a serious conversation; one best had, sitting in comfortable clothing, in a comfortable setting."

"Serious, huh? Ok, but after the _last_ meeting, I suggest this one include cheese."

"Alright. We'll meet two candle marks from now, in the library, and you bring the cheese."

"On it, Commander!"

A short time later they were settled in the library. Siobhan smiled. "Alistair, I don't know what you said, or did, to Morrigan, but whatever it was, I applaud you. She still _looks_ at you like you're boot scrapings, but at least she's holding her tongue."

Alistair chuckled. "At least she didn't turn me into a toad." Siobhan eyes were deeply troubled. "Commander, clearly something is upsetting you."

She arched an eyebrow. Alistair stammered. "I…I mean upsetting you _beyond_, your family, and the endless darkspawn…Blight…thing."

Siobhan smiled, but it failed to reach her eyes. "It's true, I _am_ deeply upset by a number of things. Right now, none more than what I'm about to discuss with you."

"That doesn't sound good." Alistair quipped.

Siobhan ignored the comment and continued. "Do you know what the arl will do once he revives?" Her voice was soft, almost soothing.

"I _hope_ that he will agree to pledge his army, and help us defeat the Blight." Studying Siobhan's face, he knew there was something he was missing. She said nothing, but waited for him to work it out.

"You mean regarding Loghain?"

Siobhan merely nodded.

Alistair leaned foreword, resting his forearms on his knees, clasping his hands. "I think Arl Eamon will call a Landsmeet to accuse Loghain of regicide, and nullify his regency."

Siobhan was still silent; Alistair thought through what he was saying. Leaning back, he ran his hand through his hair. "Maker, I _am_ an idiot! If he did _that_, the country would be leaderless, or forced to accept Anora as Queen. The arl will have to put forward an alternative choice for the crown."

"Who do you think he'd choose?"

The realization struck Alistair, like a physical blow. "Maker, no! I do _not_ want the throne! I have _never_ wanted it. He _cannot_…"

Siobhan held up her hand. "Alistair, I need you to answer a question for me, but before you do, I want you to think on this. Your fears about your ability are _baseless_. Assume, for the sake of argument, that those fears do not exist, and we successfully end the Blight. When all is said, and done, what do _you_ want? Do you _want_ to be King?"

Alistair looked defeated. "Why even discuss it? I know how this works, Siobhan. I am the _last_ of the _vaunted_ Calenhad line. It is my _duty_ to be king. What I _want_ is of little consequence."

"Bullshit!"

Alistair was stunned by Siobhan's comment. She went on. "It is not your _duty_ to be _repeatedly_ forced to live out everyone else's plans for _your_ life. Duty means that your actions _come from respect_ to what's right, nothing more."

"What is _right _in this situation?"

"Would it be _right_ to force anyone with Theirin blood to rule Ferelden?"

"No."

"Then it's wrong to force you to be King merely because of your bloodline. If you truly don't want the throne, then you have no duty to take it up.

Alistair simply looked at Siobhan. "What about Arl Eamon? What about what I owe him? Owe Ferelden? What if there is no on else to take the throne?"

"Alistair, if you choose to be king because _you feel_ you can do good things for Ferelden, that's fine. But do not choose it out some misguided sense of, duty, loyalty, or allegiance. If you want to lead the Grey Wardens back to greatness, and _that_ is where your heart lies, then do that. Maker's sake, if you wanted to retire to the country, and be cheese maker, that's fine too. You need to think about this Alistair, long and hard. Whatever you choose, choose it for the _right_ reasons. I _swear_ to you, that I will defend and support that choice with the last breath in my body."

"You would support whatever _I choose_ to do with my life, as long as it's what _I __want_? What if Ferelden doesn't survive because of my choice?"

"Ferelden _will_ survive. We will find someone to wear the crown, or we'll settle this civil war by setting-up a temporary regency, a regency that is _agreed_ upon by the people of Ferelden not _imposed_ upon then. If Ferelden can be destroyed by one man refusing to take the throne, than the blame rests at the feet of the people who couldn't pull their heads out of their arses, not at yours."

"No to sound ungrateful, but why is this so important to you?"

Siobhan smiled. "I seem to recall, not that long ago, a junior Grey Warden who defied his own Commander, for _my_ right to choose."

"That isn't _all_ is it?"

"Don't diminish what you did for me at Ostagar. I owe you the life of _my child_, which brings me to my next difficult subject. You remember at Ostagar when Duncan told me about you being Maric's son?"

"How could I forget the first time I was called a Royal Bastard?" Alistair smiled.

Siobhan chuckled. "Well that _is_ memorable. Seriously though, popular gossip likes to portray Maric, and Cailan, as having wandering eyes. That damn Theirin charm makes it easy to believe. But, I knew Cailan and, through Gareth, I learned about Maric. When those men gave their hearts, they did so completely. Cailan never cheated on Anora, and Maric would never have _simply_ sown his royal oats. Maric must have _loved_ your mother, loved her enough to promise her to stay out of your life. A promise he _deeply_ regretted. Does that sound like a man who had a dalliance with a servant?"

"You're saying my mother _wasn't_ a servant?"

"I'm telling you what I know about your father. What does your heart tell you?"

"You're maddening sometimes. Why don't you come out and say what you think?"

Siobhan stood up and went to the window, wrapping her arms about herself; she hung her head. "I made a promise to Duncan. A promise that was wrong to ask of me, and wrong of me to make. You have a _right_ to know who you _are_; how else can you decide what you _want_?"

Alistair came to stand behind her. "Sometimes things happen that we don't expect. Circumstances change. I'm sure Duncan would agree."

"I'm not so sure, but the fact is, _I don't care_. The secrets must stop."

He turned Siobhan to face him. "Siobhan, who is my mother?"

Siobhan placed the amulet in his hand and closed his hand over it. "Alistair, your Mother was named Fiona, and she was a Grey Warden."


	27. Relearning

**AN: ** Sorry for the delay, work was getting in the way of my life. Things are quieting down now, so I _hope_ to update 2/week. After this chapter, I will be moving the timeline ahead as this story is not meant as a re-do of all the campaign quests.

As always, a billion thanks to those that review, favorite, alert and lurk. To Aya and Shakespira especially, your regular reviews are wonderful, and helpful.

Hugs to the awesome Cheeky Monkeys, you are all a source of inspiration. Thanks again to Jinx and RandomWittering for creating such a haven.

Lastly to Nithu, my fantastic Beta – I am very lucky that you were willing to beta my work – you rock!

**Chapter 26 - Relearning**

Alistair stared at his hand, and slowly uncurled his fingers to reveal the amulet. It was riddled with cracks, as if painstakingly glued back together. He whispered, "She was a Grey Warden."

His voice was so soft, Siobhan wasn't sure if he was asking _her _or telling himself. "Alistair?"

Looking up at Siobhan, he said, "Are you _sure_ she was a Grey Warden?"

Siobhan nodded. "Yes. Duncan either knew her personally, or knew of her."

"You remembered me talking about the amulet?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Siobhan was puzzled at his train of thought.

"I'm kind of used to people _not_ listening to me. Where did you find it? Last time I saw it, was when I threw it against the wall."

"It was in a small, filigreed box in the arl's study. It seems the arl glued it back together."

Alistair looked at his feet, and ran his hand through his hair; Siobhan recognized it as his nervous gesture, which fit, because Alistair seemed lost. "Why would he do that?"

She bent her head down a bit, trying to catch Alistair's gaze. As their eyes met, she said, "I would hope it was because he cared." _Even if his treatment of Alistair was deplorable. _She thought to herself.

"I can't believe Duncan kept this from me. Why didn't he tell me? Why didn't anyone tell me?" Anger started to color his voice.

"Because your parents were trying to protect you."

"Protect me? By abandoning me?" Alistair was clearly angry now.

Siobhan tried to explain. "If your mother had been a serving maid, Maric could have recognized you as his son, and made you second in line; he would have had the proverbial heir and a spare. It appears that the only reason he didn't was because he promised Fiona not to."

"So, I was only abandoned by my mother." He growled.

"I don't believe that. Duncan told me that female Grey Wardens in Weisshaupt are forced to give up their babies."

"Let me get this straight. My mother had to give me up, so she brings me to Ferelden, only to forbid my father from being a part of my life, and you think she loved me?"

Siobhan's voice was sharp. "Yes, I do. If she didn't care about you, she could have simply dumped you on Maric, or on some family in Weisshaupt. She didn't. What she did do was bring you to your father's country, left you her amulet, and made Maric promise to keep you from court. You forget that I'm the daughter of a Teyrn, and Gareth was Maric's squire. Believe me when I say, that keeping a motherless son out of the shadow of court is a mercy, not a punishment. You were not shunted off like some dirty little secret, but protected by those who loved you."

This seemed to deflate Alistair's anger as he sat heavily on the chair and put his head in his hands.

She knelt in front of him and held his hands in hers; tears glistened in her eyes. "Alistair, don't you see? Maric would not have made such a promise if he didn't love your mother and, I have a strong feeling, Fiona loved your father. You have to stop thinking of yourself as less than you truly are. You are the product of love…That's a very powerful thing to know."

Alistair looked up, gently wiping a tear from her cheek, his voice hoarse."Now what?"

"Now you have to figure out who you are, and what you want. You're right, no one foresaw the situation we're in; how could they have? You have to make decisions no one intended you to ever have to make. I didn't break my promise lightly; I felt you needed this information."

Alistair stood up. "Siobhan, I don't for one moment regret what you've told me. What you've done, and how you've stood by me, is something I will never forget. I swear I won't make you regret breaking your promise to Duncan."

"I know you won't."

"Thank you...sister." He pulled her into his arms, hugging her close. Siobhan returned the hug thinking, _Eamon, you have a lot to atone for._

* * *

Loghain was in the audience room, sitting on the throne. The weight of his responsibilities seemed heavy on his shoulders, his age more apparent than ever. Rendon Howe and Anora stood before him.

Howe began. "It seems that the fighting is going exactly as you…"

On cue, Anora interrupted. "Father, what do you intend accomplish with this? Shouldn't we be focusing on the Blight instead of _fighting_ each other?"

"The nobility needs to be brought into line and then the darkspawn defeated. This is no true blight, Anora. Only Cailan's vanity demanded it be so." Loghain responded firmly.

Anora countered. "Cailan approached the Orlesians for support, did he…?"

Loghain stood up, the anger radiated from him. "Never! Maric and I drove those bastards out! I'll not roll out the welcome mat for them now."

"But Father, we need help!"

"Ferelden must stand on its own!" He sat back down, trying to control his temper. "I will lead it through this Anora; you must have faith in me."

Anora looked at her father for a long moment.

"Tell me Father, did you kill Cailan?"

Loghain was blind-sided by Anora's question. Frowning he said, "Cailan's demise was his own doing."

Anora looked like she was going to argue, but shook her head in frustration, and left the room. Thinking as she left, _That went rather well. I've put him on edge, and now he's defensive. Good!_

Rendon cleared his throat. "Sire, I have received word that the two Wardens, who survived Ostagar, are traveling about Ferelden trying to build an army."

"They are trying to challenge me?"

"Clearly they mean to take advantage of the unrest, a very Orlesian thing to do."

"Find a solution, Howe. Soon."

"Of course, Sire." He turned to leave, and then turned back. "Ah, about the Queen…she seemed a little…unsettled."

Loghain looked up. "She certainly isn't thinking clearly."

"I'm sure she acts in, what she believes, to be Ferelden's best interest…"

"She should trust me to do just that!"

"She is headstrong, Sire. Such is the nature of the young. Cailan was a lot like that."

Loghain looked at Howe, his eyes narrowed. "Headstrong is a fine quality in a ruler, as long as she keeps sight of what's important."

"I'm sure she will," Howe said unconvincingly.

"You don't agree?"

"I'm an old war dog; I still see Ferelden as a young country, and am partial to having a wise leader, with a stronghand. It's a bias leftover from the occupation, just ignore me, Sire."

"As biases go, it seems a good one. You make a good point about Ferelden being in her youth."

"If you will excuse me, Sire. I will see to solving our warden problem."

Loghain nodded. "Thank you for your counsel, Rendon."

Rendon smiled and bowed, leaving the audience chamber.

He met Anora in the garden, on his way to his room.

"Well?" She asked.

Rendon smiled. "He is starting to doubt you. Well played, my dear."

"You're sure that you can catch him before he moves against me?"

Rendon waived off her question, "That won't be problem. I am, after all, his most trusted advisor. Once he commits to a course of action against Ferelden's rightful Queen, I will move quite swiftly."

Anora sighed. "It will be nice to have this all behind me, and never again to have my rule challenged." Anora smiled. "Thank you, Rendon. I will see that you are richly rewarded." She turned and left the garden, leaving Rendon Howe alone with his thoughts.

_My dear Anora, this __**will**__ be over soon, and there will be __**no**__ challenges to your rule. After all, one cannot challenge the dead._

* * *

Fergus looked out the door of the hut. This round room had been the whole of his existence since that fateful day in the wilds.

Today, I finally get to leave this room and walk around the village. Turning, he saw Aya, who wore a worried frown.

"Aya, you've been clucking around me like a mother hen. I am not a chick leaving the nest." His smile softened the tone of his words.

Aya was having none of it. "A chick leaving the nest? You wish you were that strong. Do you realize that it's a miracle you can even walk again?"

"That was no miracle, Aya. Just the dedication of one exemplary healer."

Aya blushed under his gaze. "Well, the healer would you rather sit down for a bit before we leave."

"I'm sorry. You thought I meant you were the exemplary healer?" Fergus teased, but sat down.

"Funny. Tell me Fergus, was it the head injury or was your sense of humor always this bad? "

"Actually, if you ask Siobhan, it was worse."

Aya smiled. "Then perhaps it is a good thing your skull was cracked." Kneeling down, she massaged the muscles of his left calf. The bones in that part of his leg had been nearly obliterated, so the muscles now knotted up without warning. This caused Fergus to lose his balance. Massaging them helped them to stay loose.

Aya stood up and said briskly, "How do you feel? Are you ready?"

"Ready enough."

"Well then, in honor of this occasion, I brought you a gift"

Fergus raised both eyebrows and watched Aya, step outside the entrance briefly and reappear with a long staff. It was approximately his height, rough-hewn in some places, polished in others. A grip was carved into it, above which were several runes. Carved into the very top section of the staff was the Cousland laurel wreath intertwined with the Yuen tribal tree.

Fergus was stunned, gently taking the staff from Aya's hands. The grip was carved to match his hand and was at precisely the correct height on the staff. Grasping it firmly, he stood up. Standing before Aya always made him feel huge next to her petite form; he knew that she was deceptively strong, however, having the staff relieved him of the worry of hurting her should he fall.

"The staff is amazing! I would ask how you managed this, but I have long since given up being surprised by what you do.

"Are you calling me predictable?"

"Hardly. I just don't think there is anything you can't do."

"There are plenty of things I cannot do Fergus."

"Name one."

Aya laughed. "What, and spoil your illusion of me?" She clapped her hands together. "Now we go outside. Gareth is waiting for us downstairs."

Fergus smiled. "Lead on, Aya of Infinite Talents."

"Remember, don't fly too quickly, mein kleines Huhn."

"My what?"

"My little chicken." Aya smiled.

Fergus just laughed and followed her down the stairs, one step at a time.

Once at the bottom of the stairs, Gareth smiled. "Welcome back, old man!"

Fergus smiled, while Aya looked on, beaming.


	28. Assassins & Golems, & Dalish, Oh My!

**AN**: Wrestled my muse from the hand of Verric. Sorry for the delay.

Thanks to all for your reviews, alerts, faves, and lurks. It makes my day. A special thank you (and hugs) to my awesome, fabulous, talented Beta, Nithu!

Bioware owns all, I just play in their pool.

* * *

**Chapter 27 Assassins & Golems, & Dalish, Oh My!**

Gareth and the leaders of the Falke and Ywen tribes had been successful, beyond their dreams, in gathering support from the other Chasind tribes. Gareth thought that fear of the Darkspawn and the Blight were powerful motivators, however, Bryti and Udell argued that Gareth's personal integrity and leadership were the real motivators.

All in all, they had amassed a force of 150 strong warriors, training was in full swing, and the Falke and Yuen villages were used to house the warriors. Gareth had chosen Donnelly and Kasch as the training captains, who in turn chose squad leaders. Gareth's most important rule was that there was no individual _tribal_ identity among the warriors, they were _Chasind_ warriors, full stop. Yuen and Falke tribes contributed food and lodging, the rest of the tribes contributed tunics, of the same design and color, and weapons. Tunics and weapons were collected and distributed throughout the unit.

It was difficult at first; squads were formed, trying as much as possible to ensure no one squad had more than two warriors from a particular tribe. The squads were small; about six to seven warriors, who slept, ate, and fought together. Each squad was trained to fight as an autonomous unit and then grouped into four cohorts of six squads each. At each level, the warriors were trained to fight as an autonomous group as well as part of a larger formation. Gareth and Fergus wanted the army to have the flexibility to fight in a large formation, or in smaller groups, if they needed mobility. Gareth and Fergus also trained each squad and cohort leader in tactics and strategy; if necessary those leaders could then carry out objectives independently of the main army.

As soon as Gareth could manage, squads and cohorts were taken into the wilds to fight Darkspawn. Each time they came back victorious, and the warriors proudly shared their battle stories over an evening meal with the full army. Soon they would be ready to march through the wilds, take back the fort at Ostagar from the Darkspawn, and use it for their base of operations.

Now, Gareth needed to get a written message to Siobhan at Redcliffe, but he didn't want to disrupt the unit's operations by taking a small group out of the wilds. For days Gareth worried over this, trying to figure out a way. Finally, Udell pulled him aside. "Why does your brown never un-furrow, my friend?"

Gareth smiled, "I seem to be an open book to you, Udell. I'm trying to figure out how to get a written note to Siobhan."

Udell laughed. "In all the time you have been here, have you never once guessed what other talents tribal leaders possess?"

Gareth looked surprised. "I know _you_ are a sense reader, and can travel the fade…"

"All tribal leaders can travel the fade, _and_ we all can change shape as well."

Gareth's eyes widened with realization. "Your shape is a wolf, isn't it?"

"Yes, and more importantly for you, Bryti can assume the shape of a hawk. He can fly a message to Redcliffe. I will go and ask him for you."

"Wait, isn't that dangerous?"

Udell shrugged. "Fortunately, the Dark Ones don't fly, and most people do not hunt hawks. Write your note, and I will speak with Bryti."

"Once again Udell, there is no way I can repay you."

Udell gestured to the men that filled the village, "You already have."

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* * *

Fergus was happy to be able to teach strategy and tactics to the new leaders, but he was frustrated by his inability to fight. Aya and Fergus had worked very hard to get him to the point where was able to walk and move more normally, but his strength and coordination, especially his manual dexterity, were severely diminished.

One afternoon, Aya was going to see Fergus in his hut. She stopped short at the door; as he tried to hoist his shield. He lifted it to the proper height, holding it only for a moment before his arm started the shake. He tried to push past it, but couldn't and the shield dropped to his feet. Although, Aya could only see Fergus from behind, the pain and frustration were evident in how he held his body. Aya ducked back from the door as Fergus picked up his sword. His fingers were stiff as he grabbed the pommel. He was able to swing the sword, but his wrists lacked the supple grace they had before. Gently putting the sword down, Fergus sunk to his knees. He put his head in his hands as his shoulders started to shake.

Aya slowly approached, placed her hand gently on his shoulder, and said, "_Meine helle Seele_, why do you try to walk before you can crawl?"

Fergus looked up at Aya, her gentle voice and touch drained much of his anger, but his voice was still filled with sorrow. "How much of that did you see?"

"Enough. Fergus, regaining your strength is not a quick process."

"Patience never was one of my strong points." The beginnings of a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

Aya knelt in front of him, "Fergus, you know that you will probably never be the same kind of warrior you were before?"

"Not the same _kind_ of warrior? You mean not as good a warrior, don't you?"

"No. I meant what I said."

Fergus looked unconvinced.

"Fergus, do you think lesser of those who wield two daggers? Two swords? Archers? In your eyes, are warriors only those who wield a sword and shield or two-handed weapons?"

"No. But…"

"No buts! We will work on your strength and your coordination, and it _will_ improve. However, I will _not_ stand by and hear you spout any of your defeatist nonsense."

Fergus smiled, Aya always got on him when he started to wallow in self-pity. One day he had been particularly self-indulgent and Aya dumped a bucket of ice-cold water over his head. Sputtering, he had yelled at her. She simply shrugged her shoulders and said, _"Next time you start with this 'poor me' business, it will not be water that I dump on your head."_

Fergus shook his head at the memory and said, "I promise. No self-pity. Maker knows what you'd dump on me."

Aya smiled, "You do not want to find out." She then took the lute, which she had laid against the doorway, and handed it to Fergus. "I know you know what this is, and a little bearded bird told me that you have had some training in playing it."

Fergus shook his head, smiling, "Remind me to punch Gareth when I see him next."

Aya laughed. Fergus loved her laugh; it was like dark velvet, throaty and full of life. "So, what does a lute have to do with me regaining my strength?"

"Stand up, and hold it like you were going to play it. Don't play it, _just_ stand there."

Within a short time, Fergus could feel the strain in his arms, back and legs. Aya made him hold it a few moments longer and then told him to put it down.

"You will do that every day for the next seven days. You will do it when you wake up, before each meal, and before you sleep. You will start by holding the lute for a slow count of 120, each time add 20. By the end of the week you should be holding the lute for a slow count of 800, almost a candle mark."

"But this is _your_ lute"

Aya smiled, "Is it?"

Fergus looked at the lute and realized that while her lute had an ornately carved neck, this one did not, and this lute was new.

Looking at Aya, Fergus asked, "Is this for me?"

"Yes, my bright soul, it is. After dinner we are going to meet in my hut, and I will see how much you know about playing that instrument. Tomorrow we will begin your lessons."

"Am I to be a minstrel then?" Fergus joked.

"If that is _your_ goal, go ahead. _My_ goal is to gently re-train the muscles in your upper body, and improve the suppleness of your wrists and fingers. At the same time, I thought I could teach you to play Oriana's favorite song."

Fergus looked at his feet, his eyes bright with tears; he looked up at Aya. "Thank you for remembering that. It would mean a lot to me to learn it, as a kind of memorial to her."

Aya gently stroked his cheek. "_Meine helle Seele_, you will get through this. I promise."

Fergus caught her hand in his, and held it for moment. "I owe you my life, Aya."

Their eyes met and there was nothing more that needed to be said.

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* * *

_6__th__ Firstfall, 9:30 Dragon Age_

_My Dearest One,_

_It seems like we have been on the road forever. The baby and I are fine, and now even better protected with my new piece of armor! Varathorn, the Dalish weapon smith, crafted a plackart for me from ironbark scales! It is a thing of unique beauty, which is good, as I look like I swallowed a nug – whole. _

_Most importantly, the Dalish __will__ uphold the treaty and we now know where to find Brother Genitivi!_

Siobhan shifted her body while writing, trying to find a comfortable position, as the baby kicked.

_That's the good news. _

_The bad news is that Howe is more deeply involved in the political upheaval than I had previously thought, Brother Genitivi is up in the __Frostback Mountains__ in a village called Haven, and we have learned that Maric's sword and some of Cailan's documents are hidden at Ostagar. _

_Time, isn't on my side. _

_Wynne confirmed what you and I already figured, and believes that I will have the baby sometime in early Haring. While our party could be in Haven within a week after we return to Redcliffe, we have no way of knowing what awaits us in Haven. Given our track record, we could be there for several weeks, and I haven't even accounted for the weather. _

_Maric's sword cannot fall into the hands of the Darkspawn. The documents cannot fall into the hands of Rendon Howe, Loghain, or Anora, and I don't want to have our baby in the mountains, in the snow, in a strange village. Then again, I didn't __want__ any of this. _

Tears welled up in Siobhan's eyes; she closed the book, wiped her eyes and sighed. After a long while, she opened the book and continued.

_On the bright side, we have two new party members: An Antivan Crow, named Zevran and a stone golem, named Shale. Yes, you read that correctly, an assassin and a golem. _

_So, a Qunari, a golem, and an assassin walk into a tavern… never mind, that already happened - it wasn't pretty._

_Sorry, my mind is wandering a bit._

_About a day out of Redcliffe we encountered a rather shady character, who gave us a golem control rod, along with instructions on to where to find, and how to activate the golem. I remembered that some of my studies of dwarven history mentioned the power of golems; I thought that perhaps, at best, we'd have a companion immune to darkspawn taint. _

_So, we decided to take a small detour south, and track down the golem. _

_In the center of a practically deserted village, we found a large stone statue, which appeared to be the golem. The control rod didn't work (of course) but after hunting around a bit (and killing a few darkspawn and some demons) we rescued the villagers. The son of the former owner (who was killed by the golem) gave me the correct command for the control rod, and poof! We wake up the Golem. You would think that would be the end of the story, right? Hardly. The "control" part of the rod doesn't work. Shale, what the golem believes is his name (her name? I'm not at all sure), is awake and willing to accompany us, but we cannot command Shale. Which is fine, I wouldn't really want to control anyone like that, anyway, except, however, when Shale sees a pigeon._

_We were back on the road to the Brecilian Forest, and were a few days east of Redcliffe, when a woman, who claimed her caravan had been attacked, flagged us down. In retrospect, we fell for the oldest trick in the book. However, with Darkspawn teaming around the Bannorn, we didn't have the luxury of caution. In the end, we were the only ones left standing. An elven assassin, named Zevran, led the ambush. He is an Antivan Crow, and proved to be a wealth of information, even if it was information that I would have been happier not knowing. _

Siobhan put down her quill and remembered the encounter. Zevran had been very free in answering their questions.

"_Who hired you?" Alistair asked the bound elf._

"_A rather taciturn fellow, named Loghain."_

_Siobhan, who had heard about the Crows from Oriana, asked, "Who __approached__ the Crows?"_

"_Ah, my dear Warden, you are not only lovely, but wise. Those are two different questions, and as you already surmised, there are two different answers. I was brought to the palace to meet this Loghain, and the man who introduced me indicated that he had found a 'solution' to their problem. He was the one who most likely approached the Crows."_

"_We need a name," Alistair growled._

"_Rendon Howe," Zevran and Siobhan said at the same time."_

Siobhan picked up her quill once again.

_Zevran actually seems happy to have failed his mission, especially when he found out I was with child. A fact never divulged to him by either Howe or Loghain. Zevran became very angry, and let out a string of angry Antivan. It was at that moment, I decided to let Zevran join us. We could use his skills and, as he pointed out, the contract was still open, and he could help us avoid further Crow entanglements. For a moment, I thought Alistair was going to object, but as his eyes looked over our rather unique set of companions, he simply nodded and untied Zevran._

_Having an assassin and a stone golem in our group turned out to be a distinct advantage when we found the Dalish, who were being decimated by curse that was turning infected members of their tribe into werewolves. We were told by Keeper Zathrian, that honoring the treaty was quite impossible given their current situation. _

_In order to recruit the Dalish, we were going to have to deal with this ancient curse ourselves. We did, and as you will have guessed, the wolves, the curse and the Keeper, were not what they seemed. The elves are fine, the werewolves have been cured, and the Dalish have a new Keeper, Lanaya, who fully intends to honor the treaty. As Alistair said, 'Pretty good for an alleged traitor to the crown, an apostate, a bard, an assassin, a qunari, a spirit-possessed circle mage, a stone golem, and of course our favorite Royal Bastard.' _

_Two weeks later, we were on the road to Denerim. I will not commit that information to paper, but is burned deep in my heart and will be shared only when I see you in person. _

_Our current speed will bring us back to Redcliffe in about 10 days. I have managed to befriend an officer in the Denerim City Guard, and he has agreed to help us get this message to Redcliffe, where maybe it can find a way to you. _

_I only hope the carrier pigeon doesn't meet up with Shale._

_I pray that when we return to Redcliffe, there will be a message from you._

_You are my light, my life, and my soul._

_Love,  
Siobhan_

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_

* * *

When they traveled, Alistair always took point and Siobhan shifted her position in the group depending upon where they were. It wasn't like they were always in imminent danger, so there was ample opportunity to chat, and Siobhan used the time to get to know her companions. She had learned much about the Qunari and about Sten, his natural reticence to speak had long since evaporated, and he told her about his sword, his soul, Asala, and she had vowed to retrieve it. She had even learned that he was really "a Sten" which was his position in the Qun, where there were no individual names as such.

Leliana was quickly becoming one of her closest friends. With Leliana, Siobhan felt more like a young woman again, reconnecting with the Siobhan that had been the blushing bride, who danced in Gareth's arms, and kissed Loghain on the cheek after her first visit to Gwaren. In turn, Leliana found someone to whom she could tell about her life as an Orlesian bard, about Marjolaine, and about the betrayal that led her to Ferelden.

"Marjolaine claimed that our employer just wanted us to plant some 'embarrassing' papers…" Leliana spoke softly.

"You looked, didn't you?"

"Yes. I…they were not _embarrassing_ papers; they were _incriminating_ documents, carrying the Orlesian Military Seal. The documents showed Orlesian troop locations."

"Upon whom were to documents to be planted?"

"The Arl of Denerim."

Siobhan struggled to keep her voice down, "Urien Kendells? Maker, if those had been found it would have been war, for sure."

Leliana's blue eyes were filled sorrow. "I know. It was treason, and that's what I told Marjolaine."

"And that's when she double-crossed you?"

Leliana just nodded. "That's not all, Siobhan. I told you that we discovered that Rendon Howe had found a bard to help him plant false evidence against your family, yes?"

"Yes, and you figured that the bard had to be an Orlesian; you suspect something further?"

"Indeed. I believe the bard to be Marjolaine herself."

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* * *

Fergus was with Aya, learning to play the lute; Donnelly had started visiting with Aya's best friend and was "taking a walk under the stars" as he told Gareth. Gareth was enjoying the relative quiet, and was composing his note to Siobhan.

_8__th__ Firstfall, 9:30 Dragon Age_

_Cariad,_

_I pray to the Maker, that this finds you safe. I had wanted to get this note to you sooner, and hope I have not missed your stop back at Redcliffe. _

_The plan is proceeding beyond what we could have hoped, and we expect to be at our new base camp by month's end. It is my hope we can meet there, although much depends upon you and the baby. _

_I will save the rest for when I see you in person. _

_My eyes have too long been deprived of your beautiful face, and my soul aches for completion._

_Love,  
Gareth_


	29. Insight

AN: Thank you as always for your reviews, faves and alerts. Thank you to my awesome Beta Nithu and to the wonderful Cheeky Monkeys!

Bioware owns all - drat!

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**Chapter 28: Insight**

They made camp near a forested area. Tents went up, watches were set, and Zevran was starting supper. One of the other benefits of having the Antivan in the group was that he was quite a good cook. He had already treated the party, whose taste buds had gone numb from Alistair's cooking, to the most interesting combinations of spices and flavors. Zevran's take on Ferelden Lamb and Pea stew was such a winner that Alistair actually relinquished the cooking duties to Zevran. Siobhan could cook but Alistair, for reasons he would never articulate, wouldn't let her. After one particularly dismal meal of something unidentifiable, Siobhan was on point of issuing a command-order to let her cook; except that, at the time, she was seven months pregnant, and was so tired by day's end she really couldn't summon the energy.

On the long walk back from Denerim, Zevran and Leliana had managed to catch some rabbits, which he was now roasting over the fire. In addition, he was cooking up some combination of nuts, berries, greens, and mushrooms that was making everyone's mouth water.

Morrigan had already set up her campsite away from the main camp, which was typical, but recently she had started joining them for meals. Since they left Denerim, Siobhan started using the time before dinner to chat with Morrigan. At first the mage was reticent, but Siobhan's honest interest in what Morrigan thought and felt was a unique thing to the mage, and she started to relax more in Siobhan's presence. They talked about many things, like the nature of power, how women's roles differed throughout Ferelden. Siobhan began to learn that Morrigan was raised to _seek_ power, but not what to do with it once she had it. Morrigan, it seemed, wasn't really raised to think about the future. It seemed odd, but Morrigan could never articulate a solid future goal for her life.

Tonight though, Morrigan was the one eager to ask questions of Siobhan.

"How does it feel to carry something…someone…inside of you?" Morrigan asked when they were settled with their pre-dinner tea.

Siobhan thought about it for a moment. "It's like having a constant companion. When I'm alone, I'm not _really_ alone."

Morrigan arched an eyebrow. "Does that not bother you?"

"Actually, it's comforting; I talk to the baby, who reacts to sounds and movement. For example, when the baby was really kicking the other night, I sang to my stomach and the kicking stopped."

"Do you…love it, even though you've never seen it?"

Siobhan smiled. "Honestly, I didn't realize how much I loved the baby until I felt the first _solid _kick. That made it all very real." Siobhan watched Morrigan carefully and asked, "Have you ever thought of having a baby?"

Morrigan laughed. "Tell me a way to have one without being bound to a man, and I might consider it!"

Siobhan knew that this was the tone of voice Morrigan used when things got too personal, when Morrigan was not entirely being honest; it was how she hid. _Interesting, _Siobhan thought.

"Morrigan, you always seem to be so attuned to the wilderness. Wherever we camp, you always seem…I don't know how to explain it…comfortable? Was it just growing up in the wilds?"

" 'Twas that, in part,…but it was also because I was taught how to observe and to be a part of the wilds."

"You mean your shape-shifting?"

Morrigan shook her head. "I learned, the hard way, that being in the shape of an animal is not enough to understand what it is to _be_ that animal. I am still human, but in animal form I have senses that I really did not know how to use. I was trained by a Chasind tribal elder. You might have met him in the fade."

"Udell. Yes, we met."

Morrigan nodded, looking at Siobhan closely. Siobhan's next question was unexpected and distracted Morrigan from further study.

"Could you teach me some of what you learned?"

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* * *

Anora was standing in her bedchamber, looking out the window. The news from the Bannorn was increasingly bad. The darkspawn were running wild, spreading the blight throughout the country, and the civil war upon them.

_If I don't act soon, there will be nothing left of Ferelden to rule. _

Turning away from the window, she looked at the portrait of her mother. Anora remembered growing up, watching her mother trapped in a marriage that seemed to be one born of convenience, rather than of love.

_Typical for Fereldan nobility, _Anora scoffed. _Women are chattels, sold into marriages to breed their precious heirs._ _I never wanted that. I wanted to be the one in command. I stuck close to my father while growing up, because I wanted to learn. Learn the ways of politics, of court, of power. _

Her eyes moved to a smaller portrait of her and Cailan.

_Then I met Cailan._

Anora remembered her first reaction to Cailan. They were teenagers; he was tall, blond, handsome, and radiated Theirin charm. She chided herself for being so taken with him, but she wanted him from the first time they met. During the first years of their marriage, Anora even fancied herself to be in love with him. She found Cailan open to her opinion and thoughts; he actually allowed her to make decisions, and followed her counsel. He was the face of Ferelden; she ran the kingdom. It was a _status quo _that Anora could live with, except for the issue of an heir.

It wasn't that they didn't try. _Maker knows Cailan was insatiable. _Months became years, and then the murmuring began. Suddenly, all of her intelligence and wise counsel meant nothing. All that mattered to Cailan's advisors, to people like his Uncle Eamon, was her womb, her empty womb. To Cailan's credit, he refused to listen to his advisors, but Anora knew better. At some point he would have no choice. _Of course, everyone assumed it was my fault; a Theirin man couldn't be anything __**but**__ virile. _

That's when she started to realize that if she wanted to stay on the throne, she would either have to keep playing nice with Cailan, and hope for the best, or she would have to take the throne herself.

Ever the strategist, as soon as she married Cailan, Anora began to develop her own espionage network. She understood the value of information and of knowing people's secrets. Shortly before Gareth met Siobhan, Anora discovered information about a failed attempt to plant documents in Urien Kendall's estate. The culprits were Orlesian, and the leader had turned on one of her own bards. The betrayed bard, a young woman named Leliana, was rescued by Reverend Mother Dorethea and was now a lay sister at the Chantry. From there, it took Anora's network very little effort to find out the leader's identity.

Then came word of Bryce and Eamon's visits to Orlais, and Cailan's frequent visits to Redcliffe. Cailan was starting to take more notice of the politics and issues facing Ferelden and Thedas. He even started to question some of her decisions. Anora, started to grow increasingly worried about her security as Queen, and she felt it was time to move to a more permanent solution.

Growing up, Anora was painfully aware of her father's fervent, often obsessive, love of Ferelden. He would do anything to protect it. She figured if she could just push him in the right direction, she could use that obsession to her advantage.

Remembering the information on the Orlesian spy, Marjolaine, Anora started to plan. While she had no Orlesian contacts, she knew someone who did. It was easy to convince Rendon Howe to seek out Marjolaine. Anora simply explained that she needed information on possible internal threats to Ferelden security and that there was _no one_ she trusted more than him to secure that information. Howe practically preened at the compliment and set about doing Anora's bidding.

Worried about the dangerous path she had laid, Anora kept telling herself, that like her father, she would do whatever was necessary to secure Ferelden. Ferelden was a strong land and it needed a strong Queen. Nothing, and no one else, mattered. While she had hoped that Gareth and Siobhan would be untouched by her plans even that became a secondary consideration.

Through Howe, information started coming in, Anora didn't care if it was true or not, that wasn't the point. The information was explosive, and precisely what she needed to have trickle down to her Father, while keeping her involvement secret. She just needed to find a way.

An opportunity arose when Howe had been arrogant enough to bring Marjolaine to Denerim, to show her that he was a man of _power_. That gave Anora an opportunity to arrange a meeting with the Orlesian bard.

They met in a small house in Denerim.

"_I would not have expected to be entertaining the Queen of Ferelden. I am impressed that you were able to find me."_

"_It's amazing how easy it can be to motivate people into divulging secrets." _

"_I have always thought so. Now, as I am not dead nor in the dungeons, I think that you have business with me, yes?"_

"_I will be frank with you. I want you to blackmail Rendon Howe." _

"_Now why would I do that? He has his __**uses**__, and he pays very well."_

"_Really, I would never have thought that his sexual skills would be good enough to dissuade you from increased profits."_

_Marjolaine smiled, "And what protections do I have from you if he tries to expose me?"_

"_Marjolaine, I'm surprised at you. Surely you have someone to use as a scapegoat, someone already __**my**__ kingdom perhaps? A certain bard, who is merely a loose -end you need to tie up?"_

_Marjolaine smiled. "I have underestimated you; your information is very, very good. What assurance do I have that if Howe tried anything stupid, you will allow me to, how do you say, 'tie up that loose end' and not just expose me?"_

_Anora smiled, "Because it is more important to me that I be able to manipulate Howe than it is to cross you."_

"_That, and I can expose your little secret, no?"_

"_As I can expose yours."_

_Marjolaine extended her hand. "We seem to have an understanding… and an agreement."_

Anora laughed as she remembered how angry Howe had been when Marjolaine started to blackmail him. Anora had soothed him and said that all would be washed clean when she controlled the throne.

Once her father started reviewing Ferelden's military readiness, Anora made sure he discovered Howe's financial predicament. She knew her father; he would see this as an opportunity to use Howe. Now Anora would be able to use Howe, directly, to fan the flames of father's fear, keeping suspicion away from her.

All was going splendidly, until Cailan's last trip to Orlais, the Darkspawn, and the debacle at Ostagar. She tried to salvage what she could of her plans, but it was time to push her father over the edge and for her to take the reins. That she could do this without remorse did not surprise Anora. She was only able to do this was because her father valued Ferelden above everything, and everyone.

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* * *

Teagan had just finished reading the message from Siobhan, when a servant ran up to him.

"Landis, what is it?"

"My Lord, the falconer needs you at once. There is a hawk with a message. He said to come quickly."

Teagan didn't think twice, and followed Landis. They reached Garrett, the falconer, who motioned for them to approach slowly. On his arm was a hawk, wearing a message capsule. The hawk was magnificent, regal, but what really caught Teagan's attention, and that of the Falconer, was the intelligence in the hawk's eyes.

Teagan spoke first. "Garrett, have you retrieved the message yet?"

"No, my Lord, every time I reach for the capsule it shakes its head and squawks, and then it just stays perched. I _asked _if the message was for someone specific, and the hawk actually nodded. When I mentioned _your_ name, the hawk nodded again. I think, my Lord, the message is meant for you. But clearly this isn't a normal hawk, if this is some kind of demon…"

The hawk reacted to the word "demon" by fluttering its wings and squawking angrily.

"Clearly he's offended by that remark, Garrett." Teagan smiled. He approached the Falconer and looked directly at the bird. "I am Teagan Guerin, Bann of Rainesfere. I understand you have a message for me?"

The hawk stuck out its leg, allowing Teagan to remove the capsule and read Gareth's note to Siobhan. Gareth had included a few words for Teagan, that proved the message was from him. Teagan looked at the hawk. "I have a return message; can you see that it gets into the hands of the one who sent you?"

The hawk nodded.

Teagan took Siobhan's note, placed it in the message capsule, and tied it back on the hawk's leg.

"Are you hungry?" Teagan asked the hawk.

The hawk shook his head

"Shall we just send you on your way?"

The hawk nodded.

"Then, thank you for delivering these messages; I bid you a safe journey."

The hawk nodded again and flew away.

Throughout this exchange Garrett simply looked at Teagan like he had grown a third head. Teagan chuckled and patted Garrett on the shoulder. "Garrett, in the last several months, this is the _least_ strange thing I've seen."

"If you say so, my Lord."

Teagan went back to the castle with a sense of hope.


	30. Worth, Honor, and Duty

**AN**: First, a BIG thank you to Shakespira, Aya001, Eva Galana, Jinx1983, RandomWhittering, and Nithu for your continued reviews, and to those who have recently added this story to thier favorite's list: LilLaoRyo704, Elengaer, Lord Durion, Evil Elvin Pirates, and Breaniver.

A special extra thank you to the best beta ever - Nithu. Sending hugs!

Sending a shout out to the Cheeking Monkeys - you all rock.

Bioware, of course, owns all. I only play in their sandbox. But hopefully they will let me keep Gareth. :)

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**Chapter 29. Worth, Honor, and Duty**

Zevran was sitting by the river, watching the sun disappear behind the tree-lined horizon. He was troubled and needed an opportunity to sort out his thoughts. Ever since the failed ambush, he had been trying to figure out exactly why the Warden had given him his life and his freedom. _At first I thought it was just because she needed another body to help fight the darkspawn, but she makes me feel like perhaps I have worth beyond just my skills_. That was a completely new feeling for Zevran, one that made him very cautious and very suspicious. On their way back from Denerim, he had tried to ask her. Each time, he had changed his mind to say something flippant, or lascivious, he couldn't bring himself to _ask_.

_Bah, what does it matter; what's done is done. Why should I care? I am free of the Crows, is that not enough? _ Picking up a small stone, he turned it around in his hand, still lost in thought. _Why can I not ask her a simple question…Ah, Zevran that is the problem, no? It isn't a simple question is it? _He flung the rock into the water, watching the ripples form. _Merda! I am just afraid. Fear, what an unlikely disease for me to catch. _But he _was_ afraid, afraid that he was wrong about Siobhan's actions; that she really did just see him as a weapon. That he simply is, what he always thought he was: a weapon, a tool, one that was easily used and just as easily discarded.

Standing up and brushing the soil off his pants, he said aloud, "Enough! Tonight I will get my answers." He walked resolutely back to camp and found Siobhan was sitting by the fire.

He sat by her side and watched as she sharpened her blade. Feeling Zevran's eyes on her, she looked up. He was always amazed at the sharp intelligence and soft heart visible in her deep blue eyes. Hers were eyes in which he could happily lose himself, but she was married and, more importantly, she suffered from that annoying Ferelden habit of monogamy.

Looking away, Zevran said, "So I take it that you let me live for reasons _other_ than my offer to warm your bed? You were previously unaware of my exceptional cooking skills, and you really do not need me to assassinate anyone." He leaned close and whispered, "That is, unless you would like me to assassinate our Templar's virginity?"

"Zevran! You are _incorrigible_!"

"Ah, but you do not deny that our Templar is a virgin?"

"I don't know. The subject hasn't come up."

"_Really_?" Zevran wiggled his eyebrows. "Not come up? That is _hard_ to believe, given your lusciousness, and of course the presence of our beautiful bard."

"Zevran, I meant…never mind you know _exactly_ what I meant. Broadening Alistair's sexual horizons isn't the reason I let you live."

Zevran laughed. " '_Broadening sexual horizons_' I must remember that one. Steeling himself, he asked, "Alright, _mia travolgenta comandante, _why _did_ you let me live?"

"I'm not _captivating,_ Zev. I spared you because of your reaction to finding out your mark was pregnant."

That was not the answer he expected. "What? You liked that I was duped?"

"No, I liked that you said that anyone who would hire an assassin to kill a pregnant woman was a 'maker-forsaken pile of _merda_ dropped from a horse's diseased hind-end.' "

"Not only are you captivating but also _compiuta_. I didn't think anyone knew what I had said. You speak Antivan quite well."

Siobhan smiled, "I will accept accomplished, but not captivating. I learned Antivan from my sister-in-law. She is…was…Antivan." Tears began to fill her eyes; she turned her head from Zevran and focused on the edge of her blade.

"_Mia comandante, _your tears are a tribute to her memory."

Siobhan looked up, her voice steady and serious. "You have a _good_ heart, Zevran. _That's _why I spared you."

Before Zevran had a chance to respond, Alistair had returned to the camp. Siobhan, stood up, mischief twinkled in her eyes. "Now, if you want to understand the intimate customs of Fereldan males, I'm sure Alistair would be a _wealth_ of information." With that she left for her tent, leaving the two men stunned, but for completely different reasons.

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* * *

Gareth was reading Siobhan's message. He and Fergus were sharing the mid-day meal with Udell and Aya.

"How are things going for them?" Fergus asked Gareth, anxiously.

"So far, so good, but there is no way Siobhan should meet us in Ostagar. She is too close to having the baby."

"She wants to come to Ostagar?" Aya asked.

"That's where we originally planned on meeting, and it seemed the best place devise a battle plan. Also, she writes that they recently discovered that Maric's sword and several important documents of Cailan's are hidden there."

"We can certainly retrieve those." Fergus said.

"What about the battle plans?" Aya asked.

"Most likely Siobhan will send someone from their group." Fergus answered.

Gareth nodded and folded the note, frowning.

"Gareth?" Fergus said.

Gareth looked up and sighed, "I don't want to miss the birth of my child, and I want to hold my wife in my arms and never let go, but time is working against us both. What we are each doing is too important to the future of Ferelden…to the future of our child." He voice cracked. Standing, he said, "If you'll excuse me, I have to meet with Donnelly and Kasch."

After Gareth left, Fergus said, "I remember when Orin was born. I was not allowed in the room, I was a nervous mess, and father kept giving me brandy. But the minute I heard the baby cry, I practically broke down the door to get into the room. Oriana was holding him; it was…like a dream, a family of my _own._"

"I felt like that when Aya was born." Udell smiled.

"Then I passed-out cold on the floor. The brandy had gone straight to my head. When I woke up, Siobhan vowed never to let me forget it." Fergus laughed at the memory, and while the pain was still there, the memory left him feeling warm and happy.

Aya noticed, and smiled at her father.

Fergus looked at them both, his face set, he voice decisive. "When we set up camp at Ostagar, we have to find a way for Gareth to get to Redcliffe. I will not let him miss the birth of his first child, and I will not have my sister give birth without him there."

Udell looked thoughtful for a moment, and then said. "I am confident that an opportunity will present itself."

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* * *

Siobhan and the party arrived back at Redcliffe ten days after they left Denerim. The small group had really bonded during their time away. Morrigan was more a part of the group. Shale and Sten had struck up an unlikely friendship. Leliana was friends with everyone; her tales and music frequently buoyed their spirits after particularly long days. Wynne was more like a grandmother to Alistair and Siobhan, although she and Morrigan kept their distance. Zevran had even managed to win over _most_ of the group with his cooking, humor, and unique charm; Sten being the notable exception. Even Morrigan was, if not friendly, at least tolerant of the assassin. In part, because he understood power and supported a woman's right to wield it. The group didn't always agree, but they now respected each other's opinions.

The one thing the group _uniformly_ held was a deep respect for, and fierce loyalty to Siobhan. Even as her pregnancy advanced, she led by example, trying never to ask anything of anyone that she wasn't willing to do herself. She was fierce fighter and a gentle friend. Not to say that Siobhan was perfect, she had a fiery temper, and sometime she spoke her mind a little _too_ sharply. But, she was aware of her own faults and was willing to admit when she was wrong.

Alistair was proud to be her second and during the journey had begun to understand what it really meant to lead. He began believing that this was something he _could_ do, maybe even enjoy. He also remembered his promise to Siobhan, and spent time thinking about what he wanted to do with his life, and while he was fairly sure of his decision, he wasn't at all sure how to bring it about. Siobhan said she would support any decision he made, but he didn't know if she would support this one. He decided to keep his council until they were able to revive Eamon.

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* * *

Siobhan was sitting in the Arl's study, with Teagan and Alistair. She had just read Gareth's note, and heard Teagan's account of the hawk.

Siobhan smiled. "That would be from the Falke tribe."

"They enchant animals?" Teagan asked.

"I don't know; I think they might change shape. I really cannot explain it. I met Udell in the fade, but he wasn't like Morrigan. Regardless, Gareth and the Chasind force will be at Ostagar by the end of the month. Hopefully, Haven will be a short trip."

"Siobhan." Alistair began. "You can't possibly be thinking of going to Haven, much less to Ostagar?"

Siobhan's eyebrows furrowed, her eyes were like ice. "We have to get the ashes for the Arl and we need to meet with the force in Ostagar to plan…"

Teagan saw both faces set in hard lines, standing to leave he said. "I will leave you both to discuss this."

Alistair looked at Siobhan; he felt her formidable will bear down on him, but he wasn't going to back down. "You are too close to your confinement. Do you really want to have the baby in Haven, or worse yet, in _Ostagar_? That place is Blight-infested; is _that_ where you want to bring your child into the world? There is _no way_ I'm going to let you do that!"

Siobhan sat in stony silence. "_Let_ me? May I remind you that _I_am the Commander?"

Alistair matched her tone, "And _I_ am your Second. As such I can relieve you of Command if I, and our healer, judge you unfit for duty."

Siobhan arched her eyebrow at Alistair's words. "But I _must_ to see this through."

"And you will, but not this part of it. Makers sake, Siobhan, see reason! Gareth would _never_ let you do this. "

Alistair's logic was inescapable, Siobhan's face started to soften. "I…I just want Gareth to see his child be born. Once I take on the taint, this will be the only child I'll ever have. He will have missed _everything_." Tears filled her eyes.

Alistair put his hand on her knee. She held his hand, gaining strength from his quiet sympathy.

Siobhan spoke softly, "You're right, I'm sorry. No matter how much it hurts; I know we're doing this for the greater good." Wiping her eyes, she looked at Alistair and smiled, "So, it looks like _you_ will be in command."

"I'm glad you…_what_!"

"You will be in command. Do I need to use smaller words?" She chuckled.

Alistair looked surprised for a moment. Then he just gave her that lopsided grin. "Sorry, I just never thought I would _actually_ be leading the group. Which is patently ridiculous given you're pregnant. I should have thought that when you were near your confinement, I would need to take over…I'm rambling again, aren't I."

Siobhan simply nodded.

Nervous excitement was clear in Alistair's voice. "Alright, so I will take a group to Haven, and then to Ostagar. Once you're recovered from the birth, we will move on to Orzammar. I need to figure out who I will take with me and how we should provision ourselves. Can we meet tomorrow and go over the plan?"

"Of course." Siobhan smiled.

Alistair looked a bit dazed.

"Alistair, you _are_ ready. You know that?"

"Yes and no. That you think I am helps."

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* * *

Fergus now spent the mornings training with a bow. He had used bows many times while hunting in Highever, but never as a combat weapon. At first, he was reluctant, but between Gareth and Aya, Fergus didn't stand a chance. Working with several of the senior Chasind archers, Fergus found that he a very good eye and hunting had taught him how to read the wind to adjust his aim. The archers told him, that these were the foundation of a good archer. He simply needed to continue to build up his strength and dexterity and he could rival any of the Chasind archers.

The lute was helping him do just that. It was early evening and Aya and Fergus were sitting outside, near the village gathering area, for his regular lute lesson. After spending so much time in the hut, it was hard to get Fergus to go inside, except to sleep and even then he was reluctant. So Aya was worried when Fergus had missed the last three lessons, and each time Aya found him in the hut. Fergus would simply tell her he was too tired from training and strategy sessions, and needed to turn in early. Aya would nod, and leave; she knew Fergus was lying, but not why.

When he eagerly turned up this evening for the regular lesson, she said, "Have you gotten enough, how do you say, 'beauty rest'?"

Fergus looked puzzled, then laughed and started to look a little guilty. "Actually, I wasn't sleeping. Although, I suppose you already knew that?"

"Well, I knew you weren't sleeping, but not what you were really doing."

"I was practicing Oriana's song on my own. I think I have it down quite well."

Aya smiled, "Fergus, that's wonderful! Please let me hear…or is it too personal?"

Fergus sat next to Aya, and took her hand, "Aya…I…There is nothing I would find too personal to tell _you_. You honor Oriana by all that you've done to help _me_. So, I dedicate this song to her memory and to your soul, for both have brought me back from the brink of death, and taught me to value being truly alive."

Aya was speechless by Fergus' words; she simply smiled.

Fergus adjusted the lute and began. His fingers in command of the instrument, his voice rich and clear as he sang:

_More than honey the words you speak are sweet,  
Honest and wise, nobly and wittily said,  
Yours are the beauties of Camiola complete,  
Of Iseult the blonde and Morgana the fairy maid.  
If Blanchefleur should be added to the group,  
Your loveliness would tower above each head.  
Beneath your brows five beautiful things repose:  
Love and a fire and a flame, the lily, the rose.**_

Fergus had tears in his eyes as he finished the song that was both homage to his late wife, and a heartfelt thank you to the woman who had healed his body and brought life back to his soul.

Together they sat in the quiet of the evening, the song echoing in their hearts.

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* * *

After breakfast the next morning, Siobhan noticed her feet and legs had swollen. It was as if the baby was confirming Alistair's desire for Siobhan to stay at Redcliffe. "Not even born yet, and you're smarter than your mother." Siobhan sighed.

She went to Wynne, who was herb-gathering in the garden. She saw Siobhan and smiled at the slight waddle that she had developed, not much, but it was there.

"How are feeling this morning, my dear?"

"Alright, except my feet and legs are swollen, and now I feel a bit light-he…headed." Siobhan went pale and staggered. Wynne moved quickly and helped Siobhan to a bench.

"Swelling of the feet is usually normal, but the legs and the light-headedness, worries me a bit. Let's get you back to your room, so I can have a look." Alistair entered the garden, looking for Siobhan, and Wynne waved him over, trying not alarm him or Siobhan. Alistair, could you escort Siobhan to her room? I will be there as soon as I wash up."

Alistair could tell something was wrong, but Wynne's look told him that she wanted everyone to be calm. He helped Siobhan stand up, so she could lean on him as he walked her to her room. Wynne came upstairs a short time later, followed by Morrigan. Both wore the same look of concern.

Wynne shooed Alistair away, then turned to Siobhan. "Alright, let's take a look." Wynne said as she approached the bed with Morrigan. Wynne ran her hands over Siobhan's swollen belly and Morrigan over her chest, arms, and head. Smiles of relief lit both faces which did more to relieve Siobhan than any words could have.

Wynne smiled. "Everything is just fine. The swelling you have is normal and your heart is just fine. The baby is fine too. I would like you to keep an eye on the swelling, especially if you notice it in your face and hands. I will want to check your heart every week until you have the baby."

"What were you so worried about?"

Wynne sighed, "Sometimes a pregnant woman's body doesn't process things well and certain fluids build up, in addition or perhaps because of this, her heart can work too hard. Even in a mild state this can be very dangerous. But I am happy to say that is not what's causing your symptoms. The swelling is because have been on your feet way too much, so you need to rest more. The light-headedness is from not getting enough of the right foods, so I am going to give you a potion that I want you to take _every_ morning. I will also give the cook suggestions for the kinds of vegetables I want you to eat. "

"Thank you Wynne, I promise to be good." Wynne left the room and Morrigan sat next to the bed.

"You gave me a scare, my friend. I…I am not accustomed to these feelings."

"Feelings?"

"Fear. 'Tis not in my nature to care so much about the well-being of someone, as I have come to care about yours."

"It's scary to feel vulnerable, isn't it?"

Morrigan looked away, "Mother always said that caring was a weakness."

Siobhan sat up. "Morrigan, do you trust me, my opinions?"

Morrigan turned her head back to Siobhan, "I have learned that trusting you is not only logical but almost unavoidable."

"Then think on this, perhaps it takes more courage to care. That there is strength in _allowing_ yourself to vulnerable."

Morrigan arched an eyebrow. "Because this comes from you, I will give it some thought."

Siobhan smiled, "How is your study of Flemeth's grimoire progressing?"

"Very well, you and I shall talk more about it later. Right now, rest and then eat a good lunch." Morrigan walked to the door, turned and said, "I am glad you are well, my friend."

The door closed softly behind her.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

* * *

Siobhan was settled in the library after lunch. The room had a comfortable chaise where she could rest while meeting with Alistair.

She could sense the undercurrent of excitement in him, and felt a sense of pride. _He is no longer the scared young man that walked into Lothering._

Sitting with map of Ferelden spread out before them, Alistair explained, "I will take Sten, Leliana and Shale. I don't really know what we'll encounter, but I want to make sure we have some strong fighters, including one that is immune to the taint. Leliana gives us a solid ranged attack and someone well-versed in Chantry lore"

"Those are very smart choices, but why don't have a mage?"

Alistair ran a hand through his hair. "That's because I'm on the fence."

Siobhan knew exactly why he was on the fence. "Who would you choose if I weren't here?"

"Wynne. Not because Morrigan gives me the creeps, but because she's the better healer."

"Alistair, I'm not it in the middle of the wilds, this is Redcliffe, they have midwives and Morrigan is good enough to handle my giving birth. Plus, if worse comes to worst, the Circle is two days away, take Wynne."

Alistair nodded solemnly and when on with his plans. "I want to stay off the Imperial Highway as much as possible; there are several well-marked trails that we can take to Haven. If we get there and cannot find Genitivi, or the ashes, we are coming back to Redcliffe. I am _not_ going to wander around half of Ferelden looking for Andraste's urn."

"But Alistair, we need to revive the Arl."

"Not at the cost of time. I am not going to send us on an impossible quest, like the one Isolde set upon the Knights."

"Alistair, we need to stop this civil war, and to do that we need the political power to call a Landsmeet. Eamon is the only one we can count on, who wields that kind of power."

Alistair was silent for a long moment; then quietly said, "No, he isn't."

Siobhan looked at Alistair, and then she realized what he was thinking. "No, Alistair, we cannot have Gareth call the Landsmeet. It's too dangerous right now to reveal that he's alive. Howe and Anora would have no qualms about killing him."

"Siobhan, I never said it was a great option, but between that and traipsing all over Ferelden looking for something that might not even exist, it's the best option."

Siobhan looked at her hands, then at Alistair. "Then you had better find those ashes in Haven. While we are discussing worst case scenarios, we need to talk about what happens if you don't make it back from Haven or from Ostagar."

"I've been thinking about that too."

"Alistair, I know you went to the Denerim vault and obtained the joining supplies and instructions. Zevran told me."

"Zevran! Did he know what I was doing?"

"No, no. He realized that you were trying to do something in secret, and made sure that no one else noticed your activities. Alistair, you have to show me how to do the joining. If you don't make it back, I have to undergo the ritual or all will be lost."

Alistair looked at Siobhan and sat back in his chair. She could tell he was weighing something in his mind, so she kept silent and waited.

_Should I share with her my ultimate goal or wait until I return from Ostagar? _Alistair then mentally shook his head, and leaned toward Siobhan. "If I should die before we meet the Archdemon, I don't want you to undergo the joining. I want you to use the ritual to recruit other wardens."

"What? What are you thinking?"

"That you might die during the joining and all will _truly _be lost. _You _are the one people will follow, taint or not. _You _are the one who has gotten us this far. You _cannot _die! If I die, recruit new wardens and lead _them_ to end this Blight. There are enough supplies for five recruits. Hopefully you will get a least two maybe three Wardens from that."

Siobhan was stunned. "Alistair, we promised Duncan."

His eyes twinkled at her as he smiled, "Well, a wise woman said to me once that 'no one foresaw the situation we're in. That we have to 'make decisions no one intended us to ever have to make.'"

Siobhan remembered those words that she has said when she told him about his mother. "A wise woman, indeed! I hear she has a great second in command."

Alistair laughed. "Let's just hope I don't get the party lost or forget my pants."

Seriousness overtook them once again. Siobhan spoke softly, "I will do as you ask. Just make sure it doesn't come to that."

Alistair took her hand, "I'll do my best, Sister."

* * *

**** Strambotti Siciliani (Sicilian Love Song) **(12th century)


	31. Trust

**Chapter 30. Trust**

**AN: **Sorry for the delay. A big thank you to Shakespira, RandomWittering, Aya001, Grannah, and ArcturasB for your reviews, and to all who have this on alerts and faves.

Huge, enormous, thanks to my patient beta Nithu!

Bioware owns all.

* * *

Satinalia had settled upon the land; it was cold and clear, the sun shone brightly but without warmth. The Yuen village was overflowing with people, as the Chasind army assembled and made ready to leave for Ostagar. Many had turned out for the send off; the families and friends of the warriors, along with all the tribal leaders. Several of the tribes were able to send healers; Aya, who was the most experienced healer, would oversee them. The tribal leaders elected Udell as their representative and he would accompany the army. Gareth looked out at the fighters, who stood tall and proud in their armor and forest green over-tunics. They had mustered quickly and were standing in perfect formation, ready for Gareth's command.

Because each village had sacrificed warriors to this effort, Gareth felt that they would each need to have smaller, more defensible populations. However, he also wanted to assure the fighters that their families would be cared for in their absence. After speaking with the tribal leaders, at some length, it was decided that the families of all the warriors would stay together at one village, and that village would receive an additional squad of trained warriors to add to its defense. When the Yuen tribe offered to share their resources and to house and care for the additional families, it was met with _gratitude_ from the leaders. Gareth took this as sign that attitudes might be changing, at least under the threat of the Blight.

Fergus was well enough join them, but his role would be advisory until he regained his full strength. He would travel with the healers, while Gareth marched at the front. He was looking through the crowd to find Aya, when he felt a light touch on his back and looked to see her standing next to him.

"Why does Gareth put himself in front? That is a dangerous place for the leader."

"In this, Aya, Gareth is immovable, and very much like his father; he will never use his army as his shield and he will always lead from the front." Fergus was relieved that Aya would be with them on the journey. He had thought she would be staying at the village and that he would have to say goodbye. As much as the emotions scared him, he had slowly realized that Aya had become a part of him, one he was not willing to leave behind.

"I see you brought your lute and staff, as I requested." Aya smiled.

"I still think I look like a bloody minstrel!" Fergus complained.

Aya was unmoved by his complaints. "I told you, the lute is still the best way to work on your finger strength and mobility. The staff will help you conserve your energy on the long march."

Fergus scowled, "Just as long as no one asks me to entertain the warriors."

Aya smiled, "Given how you torture that lute in the minor key, they are more likely to ask you to scare away the Darkspawn."

Fergus shook his head and smiled. "You are incorrigible."

Aya laughed, looking into his eyes. "But I am right,_ Mien Helle Seele_."

It was time for the army to leave. The tribal leaders gathered together to give the traditional Chasind blessing before battle. Gareth could feel the wisdom and strength of spirit flow from these six men, and it was inspiring. Fortunately, his knowledge of their language was sufficient to understand their words.

_We are thankful for the miracle of each day.  
Thankful for the beauty and the wonders that surround us,  
For hearth, home, and family,  
For the cycle that is nature,  
For the fields and forests, and for the animals they shelter  
It is in the grace that is gratitude, where we are able to join with the spirits.  
It is from this joining that we gain strength,  
The strength to live, to protect, and to heal,  
May you walk in gratitude, join with the spirits, and come back to us safe and whole._

Then Neirin, the leader of the Airth tribe, bade Gareth speak.

Gareth hopped up on a tree stump so all could see him. His ice blue eyes took in the battle-ready warriors, the families saying good-bye to loved ones, the friends, and the leaders, all gathered to help move their people forward into an unknown and possibly terrifying future. That he had started them down this path was a responsibility that weighed on Gareth shoulders; their trust filled him a fierce determination to succeed, or die trying. The emotions of the moment were clear on his face, and in his voice, as he began to speak in Fereldan.

"Yesterday, you were enemies.  
Yesterday,you were Falke, Yuen, Dreas, Arith, Foraois, Críonna,  
Strong, proud, but isolated.  
Today, you are one tribe.  
Today you are the Chasind.  
United in peace; united in pride; united in strength.  
Together, you fight to defend your homeland.  
Together, you will defeat the darkness that threatens all we hold dear.  
I am proud to be your sword-brother.  
Proud to fight _for_ you.  
Honored to fight _with_ you."

Pulling out his sword, pointing it skyward and holding it high over his head, he yelled, "_Im Krieg…Sieg! _In war, victory!"

Everyone cheered and started chanting loudly.

"_Seig"_

"_Seig"_

"_Seig"_

* * *

The journey to Haven had been uneventful, except for Sten's very vocal discontent. He was not happy to have been separated from Siobhan, and he did not think highly of Alistair's experience, so he questioned his orders at every turn. As they approached Haven, Alistair had had enough. He stopped and turned to Sten, pitching his voice low, so as not to carry beyond the party. "Is the disrespect _typical_ of Qunari honor? Or do you behave this way because you have _no honor_?"

The party was stunned by Alistair's remark, but Sten grunted, "You have depths, I give you that."

"I don't care if _you think_ I'm as shallow as a puddle, I am in command here and as such you will respect my position, _and_ you will respect Siobhan, who put her trust in _me_."

Sten stared at Alistair, who had his hand on the hilt of his sword. Amber eyes met violet in a silent war. Sten let out a long growl, but Alistair never dropped his gaze. Finally, Sten lowered his eyes and sighed in resignation. "You are more formidable, than I had thought. I am ashamed that it took a _Bas_ to put me in my place."

Alistair assumed _Bas_ was the Qunari equivalent of _Shem_, but really didn't want to find out. He simply nodded to Sten then turned towards the rest of the group. "I want us to put up our weapons. I'd prefer to look more like travelers, than a small army. Leliana, please join me at the front, Sten and Shale please watch Wynne, and our backs."

No one questioned Alistair's command and arranged their gear to tried to look more like travelers as they faced the guard at Haven's gates.

* * *

About a week after Alistair's group left for Haven, Siobhan wandered the castle gardens not sure what to do with herself. The last eight months had been almost non-stop activity; from Lothering to Redcliffe, to the Circle, back to Redcliffe, to the Brecilian forest, to Denerim and back to Redcliffe. Suddenly, she had little to do, but wait, rest, make sure she drank that awful potion, and eat her vegetables. She thought about doing some training, to keep in shape, but Wynne had forbidden it, and made sure that Morrigan and Zevran enforced it.

"Now I know what it feels like to be a chicken sitting on a nest," she said to the empty garden.

"An interesting image, _mia dolcezza signora_. _I_ prefer to think of you as a swan."

Siobhan laughed, "A swan?"

Zevran stepped closer, moving a stray hair away from her eyes, "You would prefer me to imagine you as a fat barn fowl?"

"You shouldn't be imagining me at all, Zev."

"Alas, you ask for the impossible, my beautiful Warden."

"I _will_ give you this, Zevran, you do have a way of making me feel less like a bloated bowl of dough."

"You must not talk like that. I refuse to let anyone insult you, including you."

She put her hand on his shoulder. "Thank you, Zevran, you are a like a tonic."

"A tonic? Surely not like one of Wynne's regrettable tasting concoctions?

Siobhan smiled, "Maker_, _no! You_, _Ser, are like an Antivan brandy, _and_ you are a good friend."

"Then I am excused for my wandering imagination, yes?"

"As long as it's only your _imagination_ that does the wandering."

Zevran smiled. "I make no promises for my eyes. Let us take a walk through the garden and you can explain me, _cara,_ why you feel a kinship with fat chickens."

After Siobhan and Zevran walked through the gardens, he led her to the Arl's study, where Teagan was waiting for them. Siobhan looked from Zevran to Teagan; her face reflected the confusion she felt. "I'm sorry, did I forget a meeting?" Siobhan asked.

Teagan smiled, "Not at all. Zevran and I have received some information that we wanted bring to your attention." Turning to Zevran. "What kept you?"

Zevran waggled his eyebrows. "Can you blame me for wanting to enjoy a walk with a sexy and beautiful woman?"

Siobhan blushed and smiled. Teagan grinned. "Zevran, you must teach me how you can say something so rakish, to a _married_ woman no less, and not give offense."

"I can teach you so much more than that." Zevran smiled wickedly at the Bann.

Siobhan laughed. "Enough! What information do you have?"

Teagan's expression sobered. "Before you left for Denerim, Leliana, Zevran and I discussed your father's alleged confession. It turned out that Leliana knows the Chantry sister who 'witnessed' the confession."

"That would be this Sister Celwyddwr from the Chantry in Amaranthine, right? Did Leliana meet her while she was a lay-sister?"

"Yes, and when she described her, it turned out that Zevran knows her as well."

Zevran picked up the story. "During my final years of training, one of my 'tutors' was a woman named _Padrona di Dolore_."

"Mistress of Pain?" Siobhan asked.

"You are quite correct, _cara_. For obvious reasons, I remember her quite well. The Sister and the _Padrona_ are one in the same. She also had the most unique tattoo on her behind."

"I know I'm going to regret this, but a tattoo of what?" Siobhan asked.

Teagan was blushing, but Zevran was nonchalant. "Imagine the Templar's symbol piercing the symbol of Andraste."

"What is so unique about that?"

"The sword was drawn to resemble a man's pintle.*"

Siobhan couldn't help but chuckle at the irony of the tattoo, then turning her attention to the real meaning of this, "So, Sister Celwyddwr is really Antivan, and she trained Crow Assassins?"

"Yes, my Warden. We received a small missive this morning from Leliana's contact in Amaranthine confirming this woman's identity, and the tattoo. She knows many Crow secrets and has clearly been in Ferelden for some time. What I do not know, is if she is hiding from the Crows or if she is still in their employ. When we are back in Denerim, I will make some discreet inquires."

"Zevran, you _must not_ contact the Crows."

"Siobhan, Zevran may have to. Her true identity will completely discredit the case against your family and will strike a huge blow against Loghain's regency."

"Not at the risk of Zevran's life. We must think of another way to expose her."

"Interesting choice of words, however simply _exposing_ her tattoo would not be enough." Zevran smirked.

"Zevran this is serious. I am not going to let you endanger yourself just to clear my family's name." She looked at Teagan.

Teagan knelt next to her, "Siobhan, clearing the charges against your family is important to reuniting the Kingdom, which is critical to ending the Blight. We have to explore every option, no matter what the risk."

Siobhan looked into Teagan's eyes, shaking her head. "Teagan, it's enough that my companions sacrifice themselves to end the Blight. I am not asking them to sacrifice themselves for the sake of my family's honor." Standing up, she looked at both men. "I'm pleased to know that this woman is someone who _can_ be compromised. If there is a way to do it without taking dangerous risks, then I'm open to it, otherwise this subject is closed." Her voice softened as she smiled, "I know it may not seem like it, but you both have given me hope today. Now, please excuse me, I'm feeling a bit tired at the moment and need to lie down."

Zevran and Teagan moved to help her, but she smiled and waved them away. "I'll be fine."

Both men watched her leave the room. After she was out of sight, Teagan looked at Zevran; he had watched the assassin's eyes follow Siobhan out of the room. Clearing his throat to catch the elf's attention, he said, "She won't budge on this, will she?"

"No, my dear Bann, she will not. She is one of the most stubborn women I have ever met."

"You'll make the inquiries when you are in Denerim?"

"Of course."

* * *

The Chasind force had easily won several small skirmishes against the Darkspawn. The only injury came when one soldier broke ranks to take on a single darkspawn. Were it not for the quick thinking of his squad leader, and his shield partner, the soldier would have died. Adler, the young man's squad leader, had taken the young warrior aside after the healers had tended to his injuries.

"Kess?"

"_Kapitän._"

"What did you learn today?"

"Never to leave your shield partner, and not to break ranks unless commanded."

"You're an excellent fighter, Kess. I know that this style of fighting is different, but trust me, it will do nothing but make us stronger."

Kess rubbed his shoulder and hung his head. "It was a stupid action. I am only lucky it was not a fatal one."

"Get some rest, Kess. We have an early morning."

Adler went to Gareth, who was near the campfire, looking at a map. "_Kommandant_?_._"

"Adler, we're at the campfire, not in battle. Gareth is fine."

Adler nodded. "Gareth, I spoke to the man who broke ranks."

Gareth grinned. "How is Kess feeling? I saw him while he was being healed; I don't think he was conscious at the time."

"Suitably humbled."

"You weren't too hard on him were you?"

"No, he was hard enough on himself. Still it was a happy accident. It was a lesson that all the men understood, but now have now taken to heart, it increases their trust in the formation techniques."

Gareth smiled. "It's a new way of fighting. I'm just thankful that the lesson was learned during a less intense battle. Your squad did very well today, Adler. Thank you."

Adler unconsciously stood a little straighter and nodded. "Good night, Gareth."

"Good night_, _Adler."

Gareth stood up and walked among the warriors and healers, as he had each night. He already knew them all by name; it had been was his very first task when they formed the army. Since then, he spent time each night talking with them, listening to their concerns and opinions, sharing stories. Udell watched Gareth perform this nightly 'ritual,' smiling to himself, as he saw the effect on everyone to whom Gareth spoke; they sat straighter, stood taller, smiled wider, and fought more fiercely. _This man is meant for more than being a Teyrn of a small fishing village, although Gareth would be the first to deny it. _"Humility is a trait that that takes mere rulers, and makes them leaders." Udell said quietly, as he went into his tent for the night.

Two days later, the Chasind force came upon a large group of darkspawn. The mass in front of them was as large as their own force, and would be their first full battle. The Chasind scouts had already reported the horde's position, so it was not a surprise attack. Gareth signaled the warriors to form shield walls, and the archers to aim high. At his signal, the archers released arrows into the horde, as quickly and as many as possible. A storm of arrows hit the Darkspawn felling and injuring many. The archers continued to kill darkspawn archers and emissaries, while the remaining monsters broke upon the shield wall and were quickly surrounded by full formations of Chasind, enveloping them in an embrace of death. Sharp metal pummeled, slashed, stabbed, and dismembered the darkspawn. The natural skill and ferocity of the Chasind, honed and focused into formation fighting, proved a deadly combination, as they dispatched the darkspawn with brutal efficiency.

When the last of the darkspawn had died, Gareth sent several scouts forward to determine if there were stragglers, the rest of the army was moved away from the tainted corpses, Aya and her healers moved through the ranks tending to wounds and injuries. Gareth ordered the darkspawn corpses be burned.

The Chasind army has survived its first major battle, intact.

* * *

Siobhan was in her room, sitting by the fireplace, writing in her journal.

_Dear One,_

_I am waiting for Morrigan, as she is going to try to determine how close I am to giving birth. By the original estimate, I still have a little less than a month, but my stomach has swelled so much in the last two weeks, Morrigan wants to see if the estimate needs to be revised. _

_I really hope that isn't the case, if I cannot have you here, than at least let me have all of my companions nearby and not split between Redcliffe and Haven._

_On another note, Morrigan told me that the black grimoire was not her mother's true grimoire. While she seemed disappointed, she did say that this book might yet reveal some of Flemeth's secrets. I'm glad she's been more comfortable confiding in me. I have to admit, ever since she started teaching me how to become a part of nature, I feel as if a new world has been opened to me. I hope that when this is all over, I can go back to the forests of Gwaren with this knowledge. Perhaps I can convince Udell to take another student. _

_Maker, my mind seems to wander. Morrigan told me that Flemeth was the one who brought her apprenticeship with Udell to a 'violent end' but she wouldn't go into the details. I can only imagine. Flemeth kept Morrigan so isolated; she would not have reacted well to Morrigan's apprenticeship to a Chasind tribal leader. Udell is still alive, so exactly what violence Flemeth wrought remains a mystery._

_In all honesty, I wish there was more time to spend with Morrigan. In many ways I admire her. She has become a friend and I just wish I could undo Flemeth's teachings..._

A soft knock sounded at the door

"Enter." Siobhan called.

Morrigan walked into the bedchamber; there was a hesitation in her step that caught Siobhan's attention, and a shadow behind her yellow eyes that spoke volumes. Siobhan stood, moving towards the mage, her voice filled with concern, "Morrigan? What's the matter? Are you alright?"

Morrigan motioned for Siobhan to sit down. "You have my apologies, Siobhan. I did not mean to startle you. 'Tis just my mother's grimoire; it vexes me."

"What did you find out?"

"I promise to share it with you, but first I must examine you and the small-one you carry."

Looking down at her stomach, Siobhan smirked. "You mean the _not-so-small_ one?"

Morrigan smiled warmly, "I admit your stomach has grown a considerable amount. Lie down, my friend."

Morrigan ran her hands over Siobhan's belly for a long time. Her concentration was so focused that Siobhan thought it best to remain still and silent. After half a candle mark, Morrigan stopped and straightened, stretching her back for moment, then smiled. "You have a strong, healthy, and large baby. Your body shows no signs of an early birth."

"That's good news, right?"

Morrigan nodded, but looked thoughtful. "If the baby gets significantly larger 'twill be hard to predict how difficult the birthing will be."

Siobhan smiled to reassure Morrigan. "I come from a proud tradition of large babies, according to my mother, Fergus was the size of large, fat nug, and she birthed him without issue."

Morrigan smiled. " 'Tis good to know."

Siobhan bade Morrigan to sit with her by the fire. "What is it about the grimoire that vexes you?"

Morrigan curled up in one of the comfortable chairs. "While the grimoire did not contain Flemeth's spells, it did contain many secrets. Including how she has managed to live such a long life." Morrigan paused, looking into the fire; her worry was palpable. Siobhan saw it in her eyes; in the way she held her head, the tenseness in her body. After a long moment, Morrigan turned her eyes back to Siobhan. "Flemeth raises daughters, so once Flemeth's body becomes old and wizened, she can possess their bodies. Clearly, that is what she planned for me."

"I would ask if you were sure, but I can hear it in your voice."

"I oft wondered if Flemeth was my real mother, it seems like a pointless question now."

Siobhan was appalled,_ being raised to be nothing but a vessel;_she knew that there was only one option. "Then Flemeth must die."

Morrigan looked startled at the matter-of-fact way Siobhan offered to do just what she had planned to ask. "You would do that?"

"Yes, without question. That kind of evil must end and more importantly, you are my friend, how could I _not_ come to your aid?"

"You know that I cannot accompany you there?"

"Of course, if you were close, she could just posses you."

"I know not if she can truly die, but if you killed her current body, she would have to find another to possess, and that would take her some time." Morrigan again looked at the fire.

Siobhan knew there was more to it than Morrigan was letting on. "Morrigan, why would she risk your life by sending you with us?"

Morrigan looked back at Siobhan, "…Perhaps she wanted me to become more powerful, so I would make a better vessel."

Siobhan caught the momentary hesitation in Morrigan's response and was sure that she was not being completely honest. She stood up and looked at Morrigan. "I will kill Flemeth for you. I only hope for one thing in return."

Morrigan remained silent, but arched an eyebrow.

"I hope that you will trust me as much as I trust you, and tell me the _real_ reason Flemeth sent you with us."

"Doubting my words hardly sounds like trust."

"Morrigan, I trust you with my life and I am trusting you to bring my child into the world. I only hope that you can give me the same trust."

"I do not understand why you trust me so. I certainly would not if our situations were reversed."

Why shouldn't I trust you? Oh wait, maybe because you have shared with me your love of the wild, or perhaps because you have given of yourself to heal our wounds and fight by our sides? I'm sure all of those are very good reasons to be suspicious of you."

"How do you know I'm not here to destroy you?"

Siobhan grinned. "If that were so, then you are a poor assassin. There have been plenty of times you could have ended our lives and no one would be the wiser. No, Morrigan, whatever Flemeth sent you to do, it was not to kill us."

"Siobhan…"

"Morrigan, Udell taught you a love of the wild that is almost reverent, and helped you understand not only the heart of the forest, but also of the animals it shelters. Flemeth taught you to trust no one, to rely on no one, to value power above all else, and kept you so isolated that she violently ended your apprenticeship with Udell. So when it comes to issues of trust you choose follow the teachings of the one that has spent your life molding you into the vessel she wants to fill."

Siobhan's words, while spoken softly, were like the crack of a whip, shocking Morrigan into silence.

"My friend, I am ready to listen, whenever you are ready to talk." Siobhan moved towards the door.

"Wait." Morrigan said

Siobhan turned back

"What happened with Udell was not entirely Mother's fault."

Siobhan nodded. "Perhaps when you are ready to truly trust me, you can tell me exactly why you think so."

Siobhan softly closed the door. Morrigan looked into the fire.

* * *

* Old English for penis.


	32. Haven?

**AN: **Thank you to all of those who have been following this story, and to my awesome beta Nithu!

**Chapter 31. Haven?**

During the time Siobhan had been at Redcliffe, Isolde spent every waking moment with the comatose Arl. Teagan, a bachelor and a Bann, knew little about running a household of this size. Since Siobhan had nothing else she was _allowed_ to do, she took over the basic running of the house and was also more than happy to take charge of Connor, who Isolde had practically ignored since the episode with the demon.

She and Connor had struck up an easy friendship. In Siobhan, Connor found someone who didn't talk in hushed tones around him, and didn't look at him with suspicion or sorrow. He found that he could ask her anything and she would know the answer, find out the answer, or _show him _how to find the answer. She was kind, firm but fair, and she always made time for him, something he remembered his father doing before he got sick.

For Siobhan, Connor, reminded her of happier times with her nephew, Oren. Siobhan loved children; she enjoyed seeing how their minds worked and seeing the world through their eyes. Connor, like Oren, was as kind-hearted boy, bright and inquisitive, with a curiosity that knew no bounds. It was a sometimes a challenge to keep up with his questions, but she realized how starved he had been for so long, so she reveled in the opportunity act as a friend and tutor.

Connor was also fascinated with Zevran. The only elves with whom he had contact were the Castle servants. Zevran quickly realized that Connor had a mischievous streak that hadn't been nurtured nearly enough. He also encouraged Connor to talk to him and ask questions. Zevran didn't hide that he was an assassin. He told Connor about Antiva, leaving out the horrors he had suffered as a boy, but sharing, instead, stories about how he had learned the subtle art of observation. Connor soon learned that Zevran missed nothing, and was eager to learn how to do that. Zevran also showed him how to safely use a dagger and started to show him how to defend himself with it. At first, Siobhan worried that this might not be the set of skills a young mage should learn and she said as much to Zevran.

"_Dolcezza_, he should understand the world around him, yes? He should know that there are other ways of thinking, and acting. It is not like he will learn that at the Circle, nor does it appear that he had learned it in this tomb of a castle."

Siobhan conceded the point.

Siobhan had also been spending a lot of time with Morrigan, and frequently, she and Connor would go with her to the Castle gardens and watch the non-migratory birds. Connor already knew one bird type from another, but Morrigan taught him how to look at a bird and tell one of one type from another of the same type. In this, his lessons with Zevran on observation dovetailed nicely. He also began to understand what the birds were doing and why. Morrigan, despite herself, enjoyed the opportunity to share some of what she had learned from Udell. Siobhan found that focusing on running the household, Morrigan's lessons and Connor's questions, gave her less time to worry and fret.

Teagan, who had been watching all of this with great interest, was amazed. _Trust Siobhan to bring together an apostate and an assassin to help watch and tutor the son of an Arl, who is also a fledgling mage._

Late one afternoon about two weeks after the group left for Haven, a loud commotion at the Castle entrance brought everyone running. Standing in the entry, snow gently frosting his head, stood Alistair, soon followed by Sten, Wynne, and Leliana. Shale was brutalizing pigeons in the courtyard, which had started all of the chaos.

Alistair wore a large grin. "We have the ashes."

Teagan smiled, tears glistening in his eyes. "Maker, bless you! We need to get them to Eamon, at once!"

Alistair nodded. "Wynne, please take the ashes and go with Teagan."

Wynne, Teagan, and the healers headed straight to the Arl's chambers.

Siobhan smiled at the two head servants, "Tanya, could you ask the cook to warm-up some of that lovely soup we had for lunch? Kiran, please have hot baths drawn up for our companions. I'm sure they will want to warm up and change into some dry clothing. Thank you both." The servants complied with smiling faces, reflecting their pleasure in serving Siobhan as the temporary lady of the house.

Alistair grinned. "So, have you added Acting Arlessa to your list of jobs?"

Siobhan waved the remark aside, wearing a smile of pride at her companions. "You all have brought forth a miracle! I expect you to tell me all about it, but not while you stand here chilled to the bone. Bathe and change, then meet me in the dining hall. You can eat while we wait for word on the Arl."

Connor, who was waiting in the main hall with Zevran and Morrigan, walked up to Siobhan and put his hand in hers. She gave it a squeeze and knelt down a bit so she was eye-level, "You've been strong for so long, Pup. We just need to wait a little longer."

Connor could only nod. The fear was almost overwhelming him. Siobhan gathered him in her arms, rocking him gently. Connor held on to her like a lifeline.

About a candle mark later, Teagan jogged into the main hall his face alight in joy. "The Arl is awake, weak, but awake!"

Siobhan closed her eyes, _Maker, thank you. _"Can he have visitors?"

"He is asking for Connor."

Siobhan looked at Connor. "Are you ready, Pup?"

Connor smiled and nodded. "Yes, Siobhan."

All right, go with your uncle. She looked at Teagan, he understood the unspoken question, and looked thoughtful, "Yes, it will be a long conversation. I will seek you out later this evening."

She nodded and watched Connor and Teagan walk towards the family rooms.

* * *

Later, everyone else had gathered in the dining hall. Spirits soared as the news from the Arl's chamber continued to be positive. The cook, Paulina, had outdone herself, not only had she prepared more of the thick, creamy potato soup, but she also produced an amazing pudding of custard and fruit served over warm sweet bread. Everyone tucked in; Alistair, in particular, was packing away the food like a starving man.

Well into the meal, Teagan came into the dining hall with Connor, both were smiling. Alistair and Siobhan stood up; Teagan motioned them to sit down. "Please, I just brought Connor downstairs, as the Arl needs his rest. The healers are working on rehabilitating his muscles, but he will make a full recovery!"

Siobhan came over to Connor. "Pup, you hardly ate any lunch today, have Paulina fix you a plate, and don't forget the pudding!"

Connor smiled and practically skipped into the kitchen. Alistair joined Teagan and Siobhan, concern on his face. "How is he _really_, Teagan?"

"Honestly, he is doing amazing well. The ashes not only brought him out of the coma, but also gave him back most of his strength. He should be out of bed in the morning, just as if nothing had ever happened. Siobhan, Alistair, we owe you both so much."

Siobhan laid her hand on Teagan's arm. "We are happy to have been of service, although credit for the ashes has to go to Alistair, Leliana, Wynne, Sten and Shale. All of whom, I hope will regale us with the tale of this quest."

"I don't want to miss that! Hopefully after dinner?"

Alistair bowed. "It would be my pleasure to share the tale of dragon cults, guardians, and the gauntlet."

"Oh ho! No suspense there! All right, Alistair, with that preview, it should be a tale well worth hearing. After dinner it is." Teagan laughed and left for Eamon's room.

Connor, who had gotten a plate of food and was sitting next to Zevran, looked hopeful. "Do you think Siobhan will let me stay up to hear it?"

"Perhaps, Connor. You need to ask Siobhan, remember what I taught you, and wait for the right moment."

"How will I know when that is?"

"When she is relaxed and smiling, of course. See that small furrow between her eyes?"

Connor nodded.

"Wait until it goes away."

Connor continued to enjoy his lunch and, as Zevran had taught him, he listened to the good-natured teasing going on around him, and unobtrusively kept an eye on Siobhan. Finally, he saw the furrow between Siobhan's eyes vanish, and she was enjoying one of Alistair's jokes. Getting up from his place, Connor walked over to Siobhan.

He stood politely waiting for Siobhan to turn to him. When she did he placed his head closer to her and said, in what Zevran told him was _sotto voce_, soft voice, "_Cara zia, _may I please be allowed to stay up and listen to Alistair's story about the quest for the urn?"

Siobhan's eyes widened, and she smiled, and whispered, "Beloved Aunt is it?" She gave him a warm hug. "Yes, _nipote favorito, _you may."

"_Nipote favorito_?"

"Favored nephew." Siobhan brushed a small piece of hair away from his eyes. "Tell Zevran, that he taught you very well."

* * *

With Connor at dinner, and the healers in their rooms resting, it was just Teagan, Isolde and Eamon. The Arl was sitting comfortably on pillows, and Isolde was seated at his bedside. Eamon knew there were things Teagan wanted to tell him and that he did not want to do so in Isolde's presence. He stroked his wife's hair. "Isolde, please go and get some rest. I would like to have a chance to speak with Teagan in private."

"Eamon, what business could you possibly have with Teagan that cannot wait for another day?"

"Isolde, I am his brother and his Arl, there are things he and I need to discuss."

Fear was clear in Isolde's eyes; she knew what Teagan was going to tell her husband. She also knew that when it came to Arling business, Eamon always spoke to Teagan in private. Once he dismissed her like this, she could not argue.

She gently kissed Eamon. "_Je t'aime, mon mari." _Standing, she looked at her brother-in-law. "Good night, Teagan." She softly closed the door behind her.

Teagan took Isolde's place, beside Eamon's bed. Eamon saw the troubled look on his brother's face. "Teagan, I can tell that much has happened. I know that Jowan was to blame for my coma, Isolde said as much. Start with the worst and then we can go from there."

Teagan looked at his feet, then looked up to his brother. Eamon could see that the stress and strain of the last several months had taken its toll on the younger man.

Teagan took a deep breath, held it, and then slowly let it out. "Eamon, what Isolde didn't tell you is that she brought Jowan here because she wanted him to teach Connor how to hide his magic…Connor is a mage."

The shock on Eamon's face was as Teagan expected. "A…a mage? How is that possible? Are you sure?"

"I don't know how, brother, but we _are_ sure. There's more. Connor…accidentally tore the veil to the Fade. A Fade demon promised him that she would keep us…the family… alive, _if_ he…cooperated. When he agreed, the demon possessed him."

"Merciful Maker, no! He seems fine. Is he still…?"

"No, Eamon; the demon was killed. Siobhan Mac Tir went to the Circle and brought back the First Enchanter and several mages to help. Connor is fine, and shows no memory of the time he was possessed. But many things happened during his possession. We lost many people in the Castle, and in Redcliffe, and we would have lost many more if Siobhan hadn't showed up when she did. This brings me to what is really the beginning of the story."

Teagan proceeded to tell Eamon about Ostagar, about Cailan, about the Couslands, Gareth, and the Regency. Eamon listened and asked questions. Aside from the tears in his eyes when Teagan told him about Cailan, he expressed no other emotions. Not grief, not anger, not even relief. He simply took in everything Teagan said. Once Teagan had brought Eamon up to date, the Arl rolled onto his side and slowly stood up.

"Brother, you must rest."

"Teagan, I will, but first I must see Siobhan…and Alistair. I owe them both a debt of gratitude."

"Eamon, they know you need your rest, please lay down, I will bring them _here_ if you like."

The Arl nodded. "Bring them here then, but I will meet them while standing on my own two feet."

Shortly thereafter, Teagan brought in Siobhan and Alistair. Eamon eyes immediately went to Siobhan's belly, then he looked at Teagan. "Sorry, I forgot to mention that, Eamon; Siobhan is with child."

Siobhan curtsied to the Arl. "My lord, it is a blessing to see you alive and well."

Alistair bowed. "Arl Eamon, I am relieved to see you up and around."

"Please, Siobhan, Alistair, there is no need for such formalities. Please, just call me Eamon. Without you, I would not have a family or even an Arling. I owe you my life, the lives of my family, and my people. I don't believe that is a debt I can repay, but I will try."

Alistair smiled. "Seeing you alive is enough for me."

Siobhan stood silently, casting her gentle eyes on the Arl. She remembered her father describing Eamon as a good man, but such a consummate diplomat that one should never take _anything_ he said at face-value. She sensed the genuine gratitude in his voice, but also a sense of guile. _We shall see how far his gratitude extends._ Siobhan smiled sweetly. "Arl Eamon, we appreciate your desire to thank us personally, but you really shouldn't be out of bed yet. Please, do as the healers ask. There will be plenty of time to talk tomorrow before Alistair and our companions leave for Ostagar."

Siobhan and Eamon's eyes met, each measuring the other. Siobhan has spent too long schooling her eyes and face against this type of scrutiny, and they communicated nothing, save concern for the Arl's health. Eamon, seemingly satisfied with what he saw, smiled. "It would seem that you are correct, Siobhan. I will listen to the healers and bed down for the night. Teagan, please ask Isolde to return, she and I have much to discuss."

"Good night, Arl Eamon." Siobhan said as she laid her hand on Alistair's arm.

"Yes, good night, Eamon."

Teagan showed them out, but before he went to get Isolde, he looked at them both. "My brother has had to take in a lot of horrific information in a short time. I'm not really sure what he will make of all of it."

Siobhan nodded, her brows knit together. "I'm sure that we'll have a better idea tomorrow. I'm just thankful that the ashes worked."

"I will join you in the dining room after I bring Isolde to Eamon. I don't want to be around during _that_ conversation."

Alistair and Siobhan went back to the dining hall. All eyes on them, Siobhan looked at Alistair. "So, my illustrious second, are you ready to spin the tale of your quest for the Urn of Sacred Ashes?"

Alistair bowed with a flourish. "I am yours to command, however, some more ale _would_ help loosen my throat."

Zevran managed to hide his complete surprise at Alistair's reaction; he looked over at Leliana, who was looking at Alistair with a sense of sisterly pride. _I must ask Leliana about what really happened at Haven._

Mug of ale in hand, Alistair began. "First, let me say that Haven is aptly named. For not only did it provide a haven for Andraste's ashes, but also very safe harbor for a rather nasty pieced of work named Revered Father Eirik

"A revered _father_?" Teagan was shocked.

"Yes, that was our first clue that not all was as it should be."

Leliana laughed. "Actually, Alistair, our first clue was that horrid guard."

"Oh yes." Alistair dropped his voice in an imitation of the guard. "We do not appreciate Lowlanders looking about our homes like we're some sort of zoo."

Wynne added, "Then there was the singing child with the old bleached finger bone that he kept as a 'secret.'"

"Yes, could that have been any more creepy?" Alistair continued with the tale. "We rescued Brother Genitivi, who, it turned out, was being held captive by Father Eirik and his minions of cultists. I couldn't believe that the Urn would anywhere near this awful place, but Genitivi was insistent. I have to admit, if it wasn't for Leliana begging me to believe him, I'm not sure that I would have let us continue on."

"The sounds of begging coming from those luscious lips would get me to do much indeed."

"Zevran!" Leliana smiled.

Alistair looked at Zevran and simply shook his head. "As I was saying…Brother Genitivi lead us into the ruins of a temple, where he said the ashes should be. Our hope that the urn was nearby proved fruitless, of course. We ended up fighting dragonlings, Dragon Cultists, and their leader, before we actually confirmed the urn's existence."

Connor, who had been hanging on Alistair's every word, looked astonished. "Dragon Cultists! Who are they? Do they worship dragons?"

Leliana went to Connor, and sat next to him. "Not quite, _cherie_, this group did worship a High Dragon but they did so because they believed it to be the prophet Andraste, reborn."

Connor looked skeptical. "Why would Andraste be reborn as a dragon?"

Alistair looked at Connor. "_That_ is a good question. However, considering that the ever so sane Father Kolgrim wanted us to pour dragon blood over the ashes, I doubt he would have been able to give us a rational answer. In fact, he didn't take it too well when I questioned him about any of his rather odd beliefs."

Wynne laughed softly. "Alistair, I think you understate his reaction."

Alistair smiled sheepishly. "Weeeell. Yes. We did end up having to battle him _and_ his followers, which while difficult, was clearly not impossible. At least we ended up finding out where the urn actually was. We left the ruins, and found ourselves on the mountain top. Connor, what do you think was the first thing we saw when we walked out of the ruins?"

"The _real_ temple?"

"Right! I bet none of you could guess what the _second_ thing we saw was?"

"The dragon?" Connor whispered.

"Right again! You weren't following us were you? Alistair raised an eyebrow and put his hands on his hips.

"No! How could I have been?" Connor's smile turned into a laugh.

Alistair stretched, flashing his lopsided grin as he looked at Connor. "Wow, is it that late? I think I need my beauty rest."

"Oh no, my foster nephew! You had better finish this story or I will tell the cook to dispose of all the cheese in the castle and inform the merchants that they are no longer to sell you, or serve you, _any_."

Everyone laughed. Connor looked at Teagan, confused. "Why would keeping cheese from Warden Alistair be a punishment?"

Siobhan laughed so hard she had to hold her stomach. "Alistair finish the story, I don't need my Second craven from cheese deprivation."

Alistair threw up his hands and sat down. "Alright, I know when I'm outnumbered. Now where was I, Connor?"

"You had seen the dragon."

"Yes, well. We were so happy to be out of the hands of the cultists, that we almost didn't notice the high dragon that flew over us."

Siobhan's eyes grew wide. "So this would be…"

"The _Andraste_ Kolgrim mentioned? Yes." Alistair grinned.

Leliana frowned. "A _false_ Andraste. I suggested that it would not attack us if didn't provoke it."

Alistair shrugged. "That seemed like a good idea to me too, as I had no desire to engage a High Dragon. We managed to reach the temple without it bothering us. Leliana, would you care to continue with the tale?"

Leliana stood before them and described the temple. Her blue eyes tear-filled; a beatific smile lit the room. "The entry hall itself was clearly something worthy of Andraste. The carvings and statuary were quite old but elegant. They represented Andraste's life and sacrifice. At the end of the entry hall, waiting at the door, was a fully armored warrior wearing a Griffon's helm. He bid us welcome and told us that he was the Guardian, the protector of the urn of sacred ashes."

Alistair interrupted. "He told us that we first needed to prove ourselves worthy before we could get the ashes though."

"But you were there to save my father, how is that not worthy?"

Alistair smiled at Connor. "You know, I asked that _very_ question."

Leliana placed her hand on Alistair's arm, softly squeezing it. "The Guardian told us that it wasn't his job to prove our worthiness. It would be the Gauntlet that did that. If we were found worthy we would see the urn, and be able take a small pinch of the ashes. If not…"

Connor's eyes were as big as saucers. "If not, what?"

Alistair leaned towards Connor. "He never said. Probably it meant that we would have become dragon food."

"Alistair, _please_." Leliana tried to sound severe, but the smile tugging at her lips betrayed her. "According to the Guardian, the Gauntlet tells the 'true pilgrims' from the false. The Gauntlet was four tests of faith. The first test required us to answer riddles posed by the various people from Andraste's life."

"Can you ask me one of the riddles, Lady Leliana?"

"Certainly, this was the riddle from Thane Shartan."

"The elven leader who joined Andraste?"

The very same, _cherie_, or at least his spirit. His riddle was 'I'd neither a guest nor a trespasser be; in this place I belong, that belongs also to me.' What is he?"

Connor's face scrunched in concentration. "Home?"

"Amazing! I still think you followed us." Alistair lightly ruffled his hair, and was rewarded by another of Connor's laughs.

"After that we saw..."

"Yet, another door." Alistair interrupted.

Leliana raised an eyebrow. "Yes, another door, behind which was our second test. We had to fight spirit versions of ourselves." She continued to give a colorful account of the fight.

Siobhan caught the exchange between Alistair and Leliana. _I will see what that was about when I next speak with Alistair._

"The third test was _actually_ a puzzle."

Sten who had been listening and periodically nodding, or growling his agreement, suddenly looked angry. "Yes, it involved us standing on, and moving to and from, various stone squares. If we did this in the correct sequence, it revealed a bridge. I fail to see the faith involved solving that kind of puzzle."

"Leliana, I have to agree with Sten, I was puzzled too." Alistair smiled at his joke. Connor laughed.

Leliana sighed. "After that was the fourth and final test."

Holding his hands over Connor's ears, Alistair cleared his throat and looked pointedly at Leliana.

"Hey! Why are you doing that?" Connor frowned, as he looked up at Alistair.

Alistair removed his hands. "Because not everything is safe for young ears."

"But how will I know what the fourth test _was_?"

Leliana looked at Alistair, then at Connor. "_Cherie_, the fourth test involved stripping ourselves bare, and walking through a giant wall of blazing _fire_."

"You had to walk through fire? Like when Andraste was burned?"

"Precisely, _cherie_, and that is when we saw the final resting place of the Ashes of Andraste. It was an experience I will always treasure."

Connor smiled at the Bard. "Wow, that is great story, and it's true! Are you going to write a song about it, Lady Leliana?"

Leliana smiled. "Perhaps. If I do, you will be the first I will sing it to, _cherie_."

Connor was going to ask more questions, when a huge yawn threatened to split his face in two.

Siobhan stood up. "It's well past your bedtime, Pup."

Connor looked like he was going to ask to stay up longer, Alistair smiled. "Would you like me to give you a nug-back ride to your room?"

Connor, who had begun to worship the tall blond warden, whooped and clapped his hands. "That would be great!"

With Connor securely on his back, Alistair jogged up the stairs to the bedroom.

Siobhan looked at her companions. "Sten, Leliana, Wynne, Shale, you have done what was thought to be impossible and have saved the Arl's life. I am proud and grateful beyond words. As you know, the next journey will be to Ostagar; Alistair will be in command and, with the exception of Morrigan, all of you will be going. After Alistair and I meet with the Arl tomorrow, we will all meet and discuss the plans. I expect you to leave for Ostagar the day after tomorrow. For now, rest well and, from the bottom of my heart, thank you."

* * *

Teagan and Siobhan had moved into the library, as Siobhan felt that the chaise was the most comfortable place for her to sit. Teagan was amazed that the urn had been found and Eamon was awake and making a full recovery. Siobhan and Alistair had been his family's salvation. He also noticed that there was a confidence that radiated from Alistair which he would never have thought possible_. Something else for which Eamon and I will need to thank Siobhan._

Teagan looked at Siobhan. "Do you think Alistair will consent to being put forward as king?"

Siobhan looked troubled. Taking her eyes off Teagan, she focused on a picture on the far wall, lost in thought. Then she looked back to Teagan. "I honestly don't know. I do know that I will support whatever decision he makes. Teagan, if Alistair refuses the throne, can I ask you to help me convince Eamon to support Alistair's choice? If Eamon refuses, of course, I will not ask you to defy him."

Teagan was quiet for a long time. Then he slowly nodded.

Siobhan stood up and knelt next to Teagan, taking his hand in hers. "Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. You are a true friend."

"I also consider you a friend, My Lady."

Alistair walked into the library as Siobhan has settled back on the chaise. Teagan stood up and looked at both of the Wardens. "Tomorrow promises to be a busy day. Good night and thank you again, although the words seem so inadequate."

Alistair put his hand on Teagan's shoulder. "The thanks is in seeing Redcliffe come back to life along with its Arl. Good night Teagan."

Once they were alone, Siobhan looked at Alistair with a gentle smile. "What happened in Haven that you wouldn't let Leliana mention during the tale?"

Alistair ran his hands through his hair and looked like a guilty school boy. "You caught that huh? I was hoping you wouldn't."

Siobhan simply tilted her head to the side and arched an eyebrow.

"Yes, I know, what's the chance?" Alistair chuckled. "The Guardian asked me if I still blamed myself for Duncan's death and if I wished that he was still alive instead of me."

Siobhan's voce was very soft. "Do you?"

"Here's the thing; I used to feel that way, but not anymore. That answer seemed to satisfy the Guardian's rather intrusive curiosity."

"I'm glad that you no longer blame yourself. I believe you were meant to survive Ostagar, and that Duncan would have had it no other way. However, the Guardian's question wasn't where you interrupted Leliana. What happened right after the riddles?"

Alistair was silent; Siobhan could see the battle within him on what to say and how to say it.

Finally, Alistair held Siobhan's gaze. "Duncan appeared after the room with the riddles."


	33. I am, I said

AN: Thank you to all my readers. Special thank you to Shakespira, Aya, ArcturusB, Eva Galana, and RandomWittering for your reviews.  
A special thank you and hug to my amazing beta - Nithu!

Bioware owns all. Thank you to Neil Diamond for the title.

* * *

**Chapter 32. I am, I said.  
**

"You _saw_ Duncan?"

Alistair rubbed his forehead. "Yes, well his spirit I guess…but he seemed so _real_. He… said he was sorry that he left me…_us_…but…things happened that way for a reason. He said that he had no hold on me that I have to move past this and make my _own_ path. He also said that the task ahead of us is harder than we realize, but that in the end we would not stand alone."

Alistair looked at his feet and wrung his hands.

"Did he say anything else?" Siobhan's voice was a soft whisper.

Alistair looked up, grief clear in his face. "He said that he was…proud of me…that..." tears streamed down his eyes, his voice cracking as he tried to finish. "that he loved me …like…a _son!_" Like a broken dam, a rush of tears, grief and happiness, pride and deep sorrow overwhelmed him. He dropped his head in his hands as his entire torso was wracked with sobs.

Siobhan knelt on the floor in front of him, gathered him in her arms and gently rocked him. Letting Alistair spend his grief, showing him that he wasn't alone.

After a while, Alistair's breathing began to return to normal. His tears slowed as he calmed down. She gave him her handkerchief so he could wipe his eyes; all the while, saying nothing.

He fixed his swollen, red-rimmed, amber eyes on Siobhan. "How can you always be so calm?"

His question surprised her. "Would you rather I run about screaming like a banshee?"

"No, but doesn't _any_ of this get to you?"

Siobhan looked at Alistair, not sure where this was coming from. "Of course it does. Many a night I cry myself to sleep, having spent my day in a state of constant worry. Are you insinuating that I have no feelings?"

Alistair's eyes were nearly round in shock. "Maker, no, I'm sorry, Siobhan! I…I'm just ashamed for breaking down like this."

"Why?"

"You know. Because…"

"Because you are a man, a warrior, always stoic, always in control?"

Alistair smirked and nodded his head. "Something like that."

Siobhan narrowed her eyes at Alistair. "I learned from my father that a strong person, man _or_ woman, is not afraid of having or expressing emotions, they know when and where to do so, but are never _afraid_ of expressing them when the time is right. Tell me, what did you do in Haven after seeing Duncan?"

"I led everyone through to the next room"

"Did you break down there?"

"No, I couldn't, it wasn't the right…time…"

Siobhan smiled. "See? You know what to do_ instinctively_, you only get into trouble when you start consciously thinking like the neglected stable-boy you _were_."

"Alistair thought about it for moment. "You know you are what I always thought it would be like to have an older sister, and I love you for it."

Siobhan smiled, teary eyed. "You, Fergus, Gareth, and this baby are _my_ family. Now and forever."

They hugged and then Alistair looked wide-eyed at Siobhan. "Maker's sake, Siobhan! You're still kneeling on the floor! Let's get you back to the chair."

Waving away his hand, she smiled. "I can do it myself." She tried then promptly sat down, looking up at Alistair. "Well, that was pointless. Could you give me a hand?"

Alistair stood with his arms crossed over his chest, a teasing look on his face. "Why should I as you just refused my help? Besides, you've _seen_ me cry."

"If you don't help me up, I'll _make_ you cry." Siobhan smirked.

"Touchy, touchy. All right, here." Helping her to her feet, he held her making sure she was stable, then he led her back to the chaise."

"Andraste's arse, I feel like gravid cow." Then looking at Alistair. "Don't you dare say anything."

Alistair pointed to himself. "What? I wasn't going to say a word."

Siobhan smiled, then sobered. "Alistair, we still need to talk before we meet with Eamon tomorrow, but the hour grows late. Let's eat our breakfast early tomorrow and meet in the garden, it will be cold, but we can be assured of some privacy."

"Yes, Bessy…I mean Siobhan."

Siobhan laughed, "For that, my dear brother, you will pay. I would look at your bed very carefully from here on out, you never know what will seek out the warmth of a soft pillow."

* * *

After breakfast Siobhan and Alistair bundled up and went into the gardens.

"Alistair, Eamon will suggest a Landsmeet."

Alistair nodded. "I would hope so."

"He will probably want to put forward you as king."

"Yes, I know."

Siobhan looked at Alistair, her deep blue eyes held his in an intense gaze. After a minute, she sat back. "You've made a decision, haven't you?"

"Yes, I have. I don't want to be King, Siobhan. I have a duty to the Grey Wardens, one that cannot be foresworn. If we can defeat the Archdemon, I want to spend my life rebuilding the Wardens in Ferelden. I want them to be respected and not thought of as invading foreigners. I don't want what happened at Ostagar to _ever_ happen again."

"You have my full support and I will fight for that choice with my dying breath."

Alistair held her hand and gave it a squeeze. "You are amazing, Siobhan Mac Tir."

"No, just a protective big sister." She smiled.

* * *

The Chasind army was about four days out of Ostagar. They encountered an area so blighted that Udell and Gareth feared that it would be impossible to avoid Blight-sickness. They went around the area only to encounter a large horde. Because of the scouts, the Chasind had the element of surprise, but the sheer size of the horde made for a protracted battle. The Chasind ultimately won, with no fatalities, but a fair number of injuries. Gareth decided that there was no reason to march into whatever Ostagar held without everyone being 100% fit, so they found a defensible place to camp and let the wounded fully heal.

It was early evening, and Gareth was sitting by a small campfire.

"You looked concerned, my Friend."

Gareth started. "What…oh…Udell, my apologies, I wasn't paying attention." He motioned for Udell to sit down.

"I said that you looked concerned."

"Concerned? Not really. I'm just reviewing our strategy and plans. It's a habit I learned from my father. He always told me that during a war, there were enough unpredictable events that you should try to eliminate as many predictable ones as possible; to do that you have to continually assess and reassess."

"That is wise council."

"Yes, my father _was_ a great general."

"Your father _is_ a great man, what he did for your country was extraordinary. I believe that there is more to what is happening than you realize. It is not yet time for you to judge."

"He was going to have my wife and child executed. What more do I need to know?

"Gareth, everyone has a blind spot, and we are all in danger of it being exploited. I do not excuse his actions, but if you act without understanding why, you will always regret it. That kind of regret is just like a poison."

Gareth thought about Udell's words. "I will try, but it's difficult."

"Doing the right thing is rarely easy, my friend."

Gareth nodded. "So, what do you think about Aya and Fergus? They seem very close."

Udell accepted the change of subject with a smile. "Fergus is a good man and Aya is happy because of his presence, therefore I am happy for her."

"If I had a daughter, I'm not sure I would be so calm about who she chose to spend time with."

Udell smiled and his eyes were filled with merriment. "If you have a daughter, she will be as headstrong as you and Siobhan; you too will have little choice but to trust her judgment. It is the nature with strong women."

Gareth simply laughed.

oOo

Aya and Fergus were behind the tents, sitting by the stream. Together, they watched the moonlight as it left a sparkling trail on the icy water. Its frozen beauty enhanced the warmth and depth of emotion both of them were feeling.

Turning to Aya, Fergus looked at her elegant profile, high cheekbones, full bow-shaped lips, and long graceful neck. _Maker, she is beautiful. _He thought as covered her hand with his.

Aya felt the warmth of his hand and the happiness that radiated from him. She smiled and turned to Fergus. His eyes, which were windows to his soul, shone in the moonlight, shone with joy and with peace. She brought her hand to his face, gently tracing his strong jaw.

He leaned his head into the gentle caress. "I am so lucky to have you in my life, Aya. You have given me a new life, a new purpose. _You_ are my joyous heart." He brought the hand he was holding to his lips and gently kissed it.

"Where there was darkness in my life, you have brought light, Fergus."

Fergus took the hand caressing his cheek and used it to gently pull her closer. Aya leaned in, their foreheads gently touching.

Aya's voice was a whisper, "You are my bright soul, Fergus Cousland."

"You are my heart, Aya von Yuen"

He kissed her, gathering her into his arms. Then he pulled back and caressed her face. "Together we make a whole person; I never want to be without you in my life, Aya."

"My bright soul, I will never leave your side."

* * *

Eamon shook his head. "Loghain instigates a civil war even though the darkspawn are on our doorstep? Long I have known him. He is a sensible man, one who has never desired power."

"I was there when he announced he was taking control of the throne; he was mad with ambition."

"Mad indeed. Mad enough to kill Cailan, to attempt to kill myself and destroy my lands."

"I would agree that it is a madness that grips Loghain, but it isn't an ambition for power alone. It is for the power to protect Ferelden from what _he sees_ as a threat." Siobhan interjected.

Eamon arched an eyebrow. "Threats that don't seem to extend to the reality of the Blight."

Siobhan nodded. "Madness indeed."

Eamon paced. "Regardless of what motivates him, he must be stopped. What's more we can scarce afford to fight this war to its bitter end."

"Arl Eamon, it isn't just Loghain that needs to be stopped. He is not alone in his actions. I…I believe him to be merely the tool in all of this." Siobhan explained.

"How do you mean?"

Siobhan looked at Teagan who nodded. "It seems that the architect in all this is either Rendon Howe or Queen Anora or both."

Eamon's frowned, his voice dismissive. "Anora? Preposterous. Rendon Howe I would believe, but why would Anora want to destroy her own kingdom?"

"Arl Eamon, my husband was suspicious for some time that Anora was trying to manipulate their father."

"My dear, the rivalry between those two is well known."

Siobhan swallowed the condescension in Eamon's voice. "My Lord, I believe I know my husband well enough to know when his concerns are genuine. However, it wasn't only Gareth who felt this way.

"Oh?"

"Yes, Cailan did as well. His last words to me were regarding the throne. He said, 'not Anora, _never_ Anora.' Anora, Loghain and Howe, must _all_ answer for their crimes against Ferelden. We must unite the nobility against them."

"My nephew tended toward the melodramatic. The fact of the matter is that Loghain has some very powerful allies. We have no time to wage a campaign against him, much less the Queen and the Arl. Someone must surrender if Ferelden is to have any chance of fighting the darkspawn."

"But once people learn what they've done…" Siobhan pleaded.

"Those claims will give Loghain's allies pause, but we must combine it with a challenge Loghain cannot ignore. We need someone with a stronger claim to the throne than Loghain's daughter, the Queen."

"You mean me?" Alistair said, his voice firm.

"Teagan and I have a claim through marriage, but we would seem opportunists no better than Loghain himself. Your claim is by blood."

"What if I don't want to be King?"

Eamon simply stared, as if Alistair has suddenly spoken in a foreign tongue. "Alistair, you don't mean that."

"I do. I am a Grey Warden; I do not want to be King of Ferelden. My purpose is _as_ a Warden, my duty is to defeat the Blight and, Maker willing, rebuild the Ferelden Wardens."

The look Eamon gave Alistair was withering and clearly one that he had used when Alistair was a young boy. "Alistair, our need is grave, we have no other option. _You_ have a responsibly. Without _you_ Loghain wins. I would have to support him for the sake of Ferelden; is that what you want?

Siobhan watched as the fight went out of her Second.

Siobhan waited, praying for Alistair to speak up, but he simply looked at the floor. "I understand."

Siobhan was clearly annoyed. "_He _has aresponsibility? Alistair has spent the last eight months fulfilling his responsibilities by marching all over this country, fighting things you wouldn't find in your worst nightmare."

Eamon nodded; his face was unreadable, "I acknowledge that. However, he has a responsibility to keep the throne in the Theirin bloodline."

Siobhan's anger knew no bounds, no control, with fire in her eyes she turned on Eamon. "What of the responsibility to him?" She gestured to Alistair. "Where was the vaunted Theirin bloodline when he was being kept as a stable boy, neglected and alone, living lower than the elves in Redcliffe? Where was it when he was treated like a dirty little secret and made to believe he wouldn't amount to anything? Where was it when he was shunted off to the Chantry to be raised as a lyrium-addicted Templar? You speak of _his_ responsibility, but what of _your_ responsibility to HIM!"

Her words were like the crack of a whip, stinging Eamon repeatedly. "Young woman, you forget your place!"

"_My_ place?" Thoughts of Loghain filled her mind; an icy calm settled in Siobhan's face and voice and sent shivers down Alistair's and Teagan's spines. "What place would that be, _Arl_ Eamon? Daughter of the rightful Teyrn of Highever, wife of the current Teyrn of Gwaren, Warden Commander of the Ferelden Grey, or the person to whom you owe the lives of you and your family?"

Siobhan and Eamon locked gazes; it was indeed a battle of wills and Eamon blinked first.

"I do apologize; I realize that this is not an easy situation for any of us."

Siobhan nodded, trying to control her temper. "Arl Eamon, we are on the _same_ side. We _both_ want to end the Blight, and we _both_ want to end this civil war. We only differ in _how_ to achieve it."

"You have quick mind, Siobhan. However, I have been involved in Ferelden's political theater since before you were born. I tell you, that in order to end this civil war, we must present a more appropriate candidate for the throne, and that candidate is Alistair."

"Eamon, there hasn't been a Blight in 400 years. The play has changed and so have the actors. The there is no point in deciding the throne now, if we don't defeat the Blight this will be all be irrelevant. We can ask the Bannorn to pick a temporary regent. Someone they could all agree on so we can put the full might of our forces into fighting the Blight. Let the Bannorn do what it is designed to do. Let them make a choice instead of having a regent shoved down their throats. If we defeat the Blight, _then_ we can settle the issue of who sits on the throne."

Scorn was clear on Eamon's face. "And who might they chose for a regent? The Bann of Nug Wallow?"

Siobhan ignored the sarcasm. "Whomever the Bannorn deems worthy. That's what they did when Cailan was elevated, that's what they _do_."

"We do not have time for the Bannorn to argue and delay."

"Brother, with all due respect, you do not give the Bannorn enough credit. We can decide quickly when the need arises. While we may argue endlessly about the price of wool, we come together quite well for the important things. Siobhan is right; the Bannorn would react quite favorably to being given the opportunity to decide."

"Teagan, you actually _agree_ with this ill-advised idea?"

Teagan nodded.

Eamon paced, then turned to Siobhan. "If, by the time we have the Landsmeet, you cannot come up with enough evidence of Howe and Anora's complicity to satisfy _me_, I will have no choice but to support Anora for the throne." He said the last while looking directly at Alistair.

"If it comes to that, I will put myself forward for the crown."

"Alistair, no!" Siobhan looked at Eamon. "One way or another, I will have all the evidence _necessary_ to remove Anora's claim to the throne."

Eamon looked unconvinced. "We shall see. In the meantime, I will call for the Landsmeet; it will take time for people to travel to Denerim. I believe you still have to travel to Ostagar and to Orzamar and I don't want to go to Denerim without you. Once all is ready, we will travel there together. Siobhan, I trust you are not planning on traveling to Ostagar?"

"No, I am too close to my confinement. Would it be an imposition for me to remain here for the duration?"

"Of course not. I would be honored to host you during the birth of your child." While Eamon's voice was accommodating, his eyes were hard.

Teagan felt very uncomfortable with Eamon's response. After a moment he said, "Siobhan, wasn't Wynne telling you earlier that she is concerned about the cold's affect on your body and that you needed to seek warmer shelter?

Siobhan was befuddled, but Alistair picked up on Teagan's idea. "Indeed, she was just discussing it with us this morning. Siobhan, you really must take better care of yourself this close to your confinement. If Wynne believes that the draft is hard on your body, then a warmer set of rooms is necessary."

Teagan looked at his brother. "Eamon, it is common knowledge that that Castle is too drafty. I believe Siobhan's joint condition would be much better served at Rainesfere, where the smaller estate is easier to keep warm."

It took a moment for Siobhan to understand what Teagan was doing, and then she smiled. "Thank you for your offer, Teagan." Looking apologetically at Eamon. "My back and knees have been so very sore. I'm sure that accounts for my deplorable temper."

"Allowances must be made given that you are carrying a child in such stressful times. Rainesfere might be the better option."

"You are too gracious, Arl Eamon."

Teagan clapped his hands. "Perfect, I will be ready to escort you this afternoon as your companions leave for Ostagar."

"I will leave the details to you, brother. Alistair and Siobhan, Maker be with you."

"Maker be with you, as well." Alistair bowed.

Eamon nodded and left the room.

Siobhan hung her head. "I was never cut out for diplomacy. Teagan, Alistair, I apologize for my loss of control. I'm afraid in trying to help; all I have done is make a muddle out of things."

Alistair put his hands on her shoulders and made her look at him. "Don't apologize. I…have never had anyone do for me, what just did. You fought for me, for what I wanted, even when I couldn't fight for myself."

"I agree, Siobhan. You have done what very few have ever managed; you made my brother back down. I have to admit it was refreshing."

Siobhan smiled. "If you believe he backed down, then why am I staying at Rainesfere?"

Teagan sighed. "All right, _temporarily_ backed down. Alistair, after you have spoken with your companions, we can pick out the horses we discussed earlier."

"Teagan, thank you again for providing the horses. You are my favorite uncle."

Teagan smiled. "I am your only uncle."

"Alistair, you need to take Wynne and Morrigan."

"No Siobhan, I am not leaving you without a healer."

"Please, women have been giving birth for centuries without magical aid. Morrigan's battle magic is powerful against the Darkspawn and I don't believe the Chasind have mages. Besides, if things go badly, Morrigan knows the Wilds."

"But what if you have a problem during birth?"

"The Circle is two days from here."

"Less if they use oars." Teagan added. "What I do suggest is that you leave either Leliana or Zevran here to watch over Siobhan."

Alistair was genuinely puzzled. "Why?"

"Something about my brother's attitude disturbed me. I cannot put my finger on it, but I would feel better knowing that Siobhan was ensconced at Rainesfere with a really good bodyguard."

"Then I will leave Zevran. Siobhan?"

Siobhan nodded. "I agree. Leliana gives you your only non-magical ranged attack. Important if you come up against emissaries or other archers. Alistair, please inform Zevran and then we will come together as a group for the final plans. That should get you on the road to Ostagar just after lunch."

"On it, Commander."

* * *

It was her first evening at Rainesfere. The estate, while not grand like Redcliffe castle, was simple and elegant. Her room looked out over Lake Calenhad, but was cozy and comfortably appointed. Teagan had even brought Connor to the estate, under the guise of giving Eamon and Isolde some time together. The relief on Isolde's face was something he hoped Connor would never see.

Zevran was happy and proud to be asked to protect Siobhan. He had been scouting the estate since they got there, and going over general security with Teagan. Her room was a direct result of that conversation. Zevran deemed this room to be the hardest to access from the outside. There was a large closet that Zevran was going to use to sleep. This way he could be in the room with Siobhan in a way that she was comfortable with.

After a lovely supper, Siobhan curled up in the chaise that had been at Redcliffe. _Teagan, bless you. _

* * *

When the party reached Ostagar, Alistair and Wynne were shocked at the near obliteration of the ancient structures. It looked nothing like they remembered. The tops of tents could be seen in an orderly fashion in and around the ruins. They were in groups; each tent group was in a very defensible position and in view of at least two other groups. As they approached, an alert was sounded and a band of warriors formed a shield line across the entrance. They all wore the same forest green tunics and stood like seasoned veterans.

"Lower your weapons." Alistair signaled to his companions. To the leader he called. "We are not your enemy. I am Alistair of the Grey Wardens, Second in Command to Siobhan Mac Tir, Commander of the Ferelden Grey."

"Mac Tir? How can I take your word for truth?"

_Alistair thanked the Maker for Siobhan's foresight in giving him a letter using her signet ring as the seal._

"I bring you a letter from my Commander, bearing her seal."

"Place the letter on that rock and step back." Once Alistair was back up on the horse the leader took the letter from the rock and gave it to another soldier who then left the formation. A short time later, a man with the same eyes as Siobhan, approached them. Alistair took off his helmet.

Fergus stopped, thinking he had seen a ghost, then after a quick shake of his head he came closer. "You must be Alistair."

Alistair bowed, "Yes, Teyrn Cousland, I am."

Fergus smiled, but felt a twinge of sadness at being addressed by his father's title. "Fergus, _please;_ the day I am that formal with a friend and companion of my sister is the day they should put me out to pasture. Maker, you are all a welcome sight." He signaled to the lead soldier who nodded and dismissed the men.

"Please, come into the camp. I will have Connelly see to your horses. Gareth and two of our squads are taking a turn through the ruins cleaning out the remaining Darkspawn."

"Fergus, perhaps I can be of some assistance with that?" Alistair asked.

"I'm sure they would appreciate the help of a Grey Warden. I will give you a map showing their intended route."

Alistair looked at his group. "Shale, Leliana, Morrigan, come with me. Sten, we will need a defensible place to camp, Wynne, please find the healers and see if there is any assistance you can lend."

Alistair looked at the map; the route included the tower and the field. Given when Fergus said Gareth's party had left, he thought they should be through the tower by now, unless something disastrous had occurred. "There's a short cut from here that will take us down to the field."

oOo

As they approached the field, Alistair was the first to see the men; they had just finished off fighting skeletons, and an emissary had animated the body of an Ogre General. "Leliana and Shale take out that Emissary; Morrigan, let's help them with the Ogre."

Alistair led the charge toward the field, making it clear they were engaging the Ogre. The squad leader saw this and commanded his men to allow Alistair and Morrigan to join the assault. Alistair let out a smite as Morrigan hit the beast with a cone of cold. With the Ogre momentarily stunned and frozen, a large man in silverite armor leapt at the Ogre thrusting his sword up into its heart. The beast shook off the spells, arched its back and roared in mortal agony. At the same time, the large warrior held on to the sword, using it as an anchor, flung off his shield and pulled his dagger. Walking up the Ogre's chest, he stabbed it through the eye. As the Ogre fell backward, the warrior jumped down, using the Ogre's backward momentum to help him dislodge his sword. The Ogre hit the ground, dead.

The warriors let out a cheer. Alistair watched the large man get to his feet, shake off the dirt, and retrieve his shield. He was a good hand taller than Alistair and broader across the shoulders. Only his ice blue eyes were visible through his helmet. For a moment Alistair thought he was looking into Loghain's eyes. Then the man removed his helmet.

The Warrior looked at the man in medium splint mail, whose helmet only hid part of his face. He smiled broadly and in a voice far deeper than Loghain's he said, "Alistair Theirin, your appearance was timely, and welcome."

Alistair was in awe of the man standing before him, he had a regal bearing, looking like a king of old. Finding his voice, he said, "Gareth, I mean, Teyrn Mac Tir. Glad to be of assistance."

Gareth laughed, "You are my wife's second in command; Gareth is more than appropriate." He held out his arm, which Alistair grabbed, and then Gareth pulled Alistair in to a hug. "You are Maker sent, Alistair."


	34. Don't ThinkFeel

AN: To all who review, fave, alert and lurk. Thank you for your encouragement and support. To my Beta Goddess Nithu, many heartfelt thanks.  
Bioware owns all, and thank you again to the great Neil Diamond for the title.

* * *

**Chapter 33. Don't Think...Feel**

Releasing Alistair from his embrace, Gareth looked into the younger man's eyes. "Please tell me that Siobhan is safe and well."

Alistair smiled, "Indeed, Your Grace, she is."

"Please, call me Gareth. My wife speaks of you as if you were her brother, let there be no formalities between us." He turned towards his two squad-leaders. We need to clear the bridge between our encampment and the ruins of the previous encampment."

Kasch nodded. Adler looked towards Morrigan, then at Gareth. "_Kommandant?"_

"One moment please, Alistair." Gareth walked towards Alder, who had moved a bit away from the squad.

"_Kommandant, die Frau ist eine Hexe vom wilden."_

"Yes, I know she is a witch of the wilds, but she has earned my wife's trust and has fought along side of us. Will this be a problem?"

Adler thought about it. "_Kommandant_, you have earned my trust. If you trust her, then that is enough for me. I will pass the word to Kasch and the other squad leaders that she is as much a part of our army as the Warden and his companions."

Gareth nodded. "Your trust honors me, Adler. Thank you."

Adler nodded and went to Kasch. Gareth turned towards Alistair and Morrigan. "Warden Alistair, if you are agreeable, please join me in leading this scouting group."

"I am at your disposal. Please, before we start, I would like to introduce my other companions." Pointing to each in turn and speaking to all assembled. "Leliana, Shale, and Morrigan."

Gareth bowed to them. "Well met. I look forward to getting to know each of you. However, first we need to clear the area of further Darkspawn."

With Alistair's Warden abilities, they were able to quickly clear the bridge access of remaining Darkspawn. Gareth spotted a tall set of posts midway down the bridge. As they slowly approached, Gareth looked to Alistair the question obvious in his eyes.

Alistair shook his head. "No, I don't sense any Darkspawn."

Gareth was the first to recognize it as a human body and ran towards it. When he reached it, he stopped short and dropped to his knees. His men, fearing an attack, quickly surrounded him. Waving them away, Gareth slowly stood up as he, and now Alistair, looked up at the body impaled on posts.

Cailan.

Gareth's eyes full of anguish, looked up at the man who had been a brother to him. "Maker, the cursed Darkspawn left him to rot! We must get him down from there."

Adler signaled to several men, and Cailan was quickly brought down. Gareth and Alistair looked at the body.

Alistair's voice was gruff. "Clearly magic had been used to slow the process of decay.

We will create a pyre and send him off properly."

Gareth could only nod.

Word was sent to the camp, Fergus, Udell, Wynne and Sten had joined them, along with several men carrying supplies. Gareth was going to personally prepare Cailan's body. Alistair put a hand on Gareth's shoulder. "Please, I would like to help."

"As would I." Fergus said.

The three men gently washed the blood from Cailan, being careful and following Alistair's warnings. Gareth looked at Alistair. "We found Cailan's armor and Maric's sword. I think it would appropriate for you to have them, Alistair."

"Gareth, I cannot wear the armor of a king, even if he was my brother. I'm a Grey Warden now. As for my Father's sword, it would honor me if you carried it. I never knew King Maric, but you were his squire, and a brother to his son. I think they both would approve."

Leliana cleared her throat looking at both men. "May I suggest that you honor Cailan by having him wear his armor one last time."

"That would be fitting. Gareth?"

"I agree. Thank you, Leliana."

Cailan was laid out in his armor with his shield over his chest. The pyre was on the bridge, overseeing the field. Alistair stood next to Fergus and Gareth. Each man carried memories of their fallen King.

Fergus spoke first. "I will never forget when he met us at the entrance to camp, full of confidence and good cheer. That is the Cailan I will always remember, the confident leader, joyful in heart and mind."

Alistair looked up to the sky, then down at Cailan. "If it were not for his insistence that I join Siobhan at to light the beacon, I would not be standing here today. His last actions as king were to protect a brother he hardly knew, and the wife of his best friend. I am proud to have been his brother, and I wish that I could have known him better."

Gareth squared his shoulders, trying to control his voice, but failing miserably. "He was a good king and, in time, would have been a great king. He was my confidante and he was my best friend. One of his last words…to me were 'Brother, we look out for each other.'" Tears streamed down his face, his voice a hoarse whisper, "Forgive me…for not being able to look out for you…when you needed it most." Gareth leaned over Cailan and gently kissed his forehead. "Farewell…my brother."

Watching Gareth's heartfelt goodbye and hearing Gareth's words filled Alistair with a profound regret. _I was never given the opportunity to know my own brother and I will mourn that loss until the end of my days_. As tears filled his eyes, and spilled on to his armor, he remembered Siobhan's words, _a __strong person, man __or__ woman, is not afraid of having or expressing emotions._

As the pyre was lit, Leliana recited the chant. Gareth, his head held high, tears spilling onto his tunic, joined his voice to hers.

* * *

Eamon and Isolde were eating breakfast. Eamon was reading a report from his exchequer and showed little interest in his wife's endless chatter about Chantry and court gossip.

Isolde, noticing his inattention, tried a different subject. "Husband…surely you do not believe Anora capable of manipulating her own father in such a foul manner?"

Eamon looked up from his report, his voice calm. "I am not sure what to believe, Isolde. My concern is for the safety of Ferelden, and that means uniting this country under the Theirin banner and ending this Blight."

"Why are you so focused on the Theirin line? What about Rowan's? She was just as much a part of the victory as Maric. Why is it opportunist for _you_ to be put forward as regent, or even King? If Anora _is_ responsible for this unrest, we need a strong and experienced leader." Taking Eamon's hand she smiled. "Surely no one is as experienced or well respected as you."

Eamon was still angry with Isolde for what she had allowed to happen to Connor and Redcliffe. Ignoring her obvious attempt at flattery, he removed his hand from hers. "The opinion of one who brings a blood mage into our house to help our child hide his magic is hardly worth discussing."

"Eamon, please, you must forgive me! I only did it to protect our _son_. I will regret what happened until the end of my days, but it was not I who sent Jowan here, it was Loghain, you _know_ that."

"If you had simply _accepted_ that our son was a mage, then Loghain would never been able to trick you with the offer of Jowan's services; Jowan would never have been able to poison me and Connor would never have been possessed! Your ignorance nearly cost me everything!"

"What about Connor? He will go to the Circle and we will never see him again. Is that what you want for Connor? For us?" Tears filled Isolde's eyes.

"For us? It has been many long years since anything existed between _us_, so let _us_ speak the truth. To outsiders, sending the knights after the urn might have seemed like the act of a desperate _loving_ wife, but we both know that losing me would mean losing your position as Arlessa. Your concern for Connor is admirable, albeit new. Were you really afraid of losing our son, or given your age, afraid loosing my only heir?"

An expression of anger and resentment replaced the look of dutiful contrition. "_Yes!_ I was worried that if something happened to Connor, you would put me aside. Do not think that I failed to notice how you spoke to Cailan of Anora's barren womb. But I realize, I needn't have worried, you are already married to Ferelden and to whichever Theirin _bâtard_ sits upon her throne!" Throwing her napkin down, Isolde stalked out of the room.

Eamon calmly returned to his breakfast; a half candle mark later, a knock sounded at the door.

"Enter."

A man, in leather armor, entered the room. He was of medium height; his hair was a dull blonde, his eyes were a brown, and his tanned face was utterly forgettable. However, his eyes quickly took in his surroundings and reflected a cunning mind. He bowed to Eamon, who nodded and said, "Welcome, Samuel. I appreciate the speed with which you arrived."

"I am yours to command, My Lord." There was nothing distinctive about his voice; his accent could have been from anywhere in Ferelden.

Eamon removed a sheaf of parchment from the exchequer report and handed it to Samuel. "Find out as much information on these issues as possible. I expect your utmost discretion and that there be no unfortunate loose ends. Report to me through the normal channels as soon as you are done."

Samuel nodded. "My Lord, by your leave."

"Be quick but thorough, Samuel."

"Aye, My Lord."

Samuel left the room and Eamon calmly went back to reading the report.

* * *

After the last embers of the pyre died, Fergus, Alistair and Gareth went back to the camp. Udell and Morrigan were nowhere to be seen. Aya was waiting for Fergus; her eyes sought out his, she looked deeply troubled and sad. Fergus quickly went to her. "Aya, what's wrong?"

"_Mien helle Selle_, I would like to avoid Morrigan, tonight, if possible. I am…not ready to speak to her."

"I was worried about that when I realized who she was. Is she with your father right now?"

Aya nodded.

"Then how about we take some food and go eat by the stream. Perhaps we can bring our lutes?"

"We can have a, how do you say it, _peek-nick_?"

"_Pick_-nick, yes." He pulled her into his arms. "Just us, under the moonlight."

"What woman can say no to that?"

Fergus smiled. "Every woman in the Thedas can say no to that, as long as you say yes."

oOo

Gareth met Wynne and Sten and invited the whole party to gather at the main campfire, for dinner. He introduced his squad leaders and the healers, and told about their journey through the Wilds. In turn, Alistair told them about their progress with the treaties, the movements of the Darkspawn, and the nature of the Archdemon.

Once almost everyone had left the campfire, Gareth turned to Alistair. "Typically at this time, I walk through the camp and talk to the men and women. For some odd reason, Udell likes to refer to it as 'a little touch of Gareth in the night.' Please, if you are not too tired, I would like you to join me. I think it would be helpful for the men to get to know you, and see what a Grey Warden can be."

Alistair nodded. "I would like that very much, but first, I have a message from Siobhan. She asked me to give it to you and be available for questions afterwards."

Gareth wanted nothing more than to grab the letter from Alistair right now, but he knew better. "Though it's not my first choice, let's take our walk, and _then_ I will read the letter."

Gareth and Alistair walked among the army. Alistair could see the easy rapport Gareth had with the warriors and healers. They addressed him by name; he called each of them by name, asked after their various injuries, and talked about the recent battle. _Like Siobhan, this is person born to lead, not just armies, either. They both command such loyalty and affection. Together they would be a powerful force. _

Gareth introduced Alistair, and, as Gareth suspected, seeing an actual Grey Warden inspired them. Gareth saw Alistair's initial reserve quickly disappear, as he answered their questions, asked about their thoughts and experiences with the Darkspawn. _Duncan and Maric would have been so proud of him. He has Maric's sincerity and compassion, and some of Duncan's presence. _Gareth also saw what were clearly Siobhan's teachings come out in Alistair. _Cailan, it was a disservice to you, not to grow up with this man. You both could have learned so much from one another._

Back at the campfire, Alistair handed Siobhan's note to Gareth. "I will check on my companions and give you some privacy while you read."

"Thank you, Alistair." Gareth broke the seal and eagerly read the familiar script.

_Dearest one,_

_If you are reading this, than my companions have found you at Ostagar. I am fine, rotund, but fine. The baby is fine too. We are at Rainesfere now, for reasons that Alistair will explain. _

_This letter isn't about strategy, nor is it about the Blight. As I sit and think (for I have had little else to do) it occurred to me that we have never discussed names for the baby you have never had the chance to feel it moving, or kicking. I wish so much to have shared at least that much with you. Granted, you've missed my constant trips to the privy, and my endless complaints about my ever-expanding waistline, so perhaps there is a very small silver lining…very small. _

_I was thinking about names, and it was Alistair who suggested writing them in this letter. He also said, and I quote, 'If he's not happy with them then he can just get his arse up here and say so.' He was kidding, of course, but he reminds me a lot of Fergus. They have same sense of humor and like Fergus, he provides me with many opportunities to tease. Except for his eyes, and hair color, he looks very much like a Theirin. I look forward to your meeting him, though I warn you, he was partly raised in the Chantry, so try not to shock him too badly. (Please pass that along to my rather bawdy brother as well.) _

_My mind is wandering. Sorry, my love, back to names. I thought long and hard on this and I pray you agree._

_If it's a girl, I would like to name her, Celia Eleanor, and if it is a boy, I would like to name him, Bryce Gareth._

_Maker be with you, and I wish with all my heart that we can be reunited soon._

_Please let Fergus know that he is constantly in my thoughts and that I miss him terribly. _

_All my love,_

_Siobhan_

Gareth folded the letter and put his head in his hands.

* * *

When Morrigan had first seen Udell, Aya had been standing next to him, so she was relieved when Alistair made her a part of the group looking for Gareth. When she came back, Udell was waiting and quickly guided her into his tent and left for the pyre. Before it ended Udell slipped back into camp and into his tent.

Morrigan was sitting was sitting there, waiting.

"_Mein_ _lehrling, _much has happened since we last met in the fade. Tell me, do you remember the last thing I taught you?"

"You can manipulate the fade without the assistance of a mage."

Udell's eyes sparkled with merriment. "Yes, but what did that _teach_ you?

Remembering how Udell had dumped her out of the fade, Morrigan frowned. "Clearly, I still have things to learn."

Udell sat across from Morrigan. "We have little time, but much to discuss. Unless your skills have dulled, you have now learned one of your mother's most unfortunate secrets."

Morrigan arched an eyebrow. "Somehow, 'tis not surprising that you already know."

Udell nodded. "You needed to find out for yourself; if I thought, for a moment, that you would have believed me, I would have told you. The question is what are you going to do with this knowledge?"

"I told Siobhan, she volunteered to kill Flemeth."

Something in the Morrigan's matter-of-fact tone confirmed Udell's suspicions. "She volunteered to protect you, and that has you deeply conflicted. You have grown to care for Siobhan haven't you?"

"'Twould seem, _mein lehrer,_ that my mind is an open book."

"I am a _Sinnesleser_, it is not your mind I read. You should know that."

"I have to admit that I have forgotten how good you are. As for Siobhan 'tis as you said. Though she is a fool too trust so easily."

"Really? As I see it, she has chosen to trust you, and you feel unworthy of it. Which means you are hiding something? Perhaps you are hiding the real reason you were sent with the Wardens?"

Morrigan's silence told Udell much. She shifted uncomfortably under Udell's gaze, and refused to look him in the eyes.

"Morrigan, look at me!"

Morrigan's met Udell's eyes. "Yes, I am! I can no longer hide it. I want to tell Siobhan and tell her that I cannot go through with it."

* * *

Gareth's eyes were tired and scratchy when he woke up. He and Alistair had been up late discussing the situation Redcliffe and Rainesfere. Now, more than ever, he wanted to just get on a horse and ride straight to Siobhan. Coming out of his tent he saw Fergus and Alistair deep in conversation; he smiled to himself and headed to the stream.

"Alistair, Gareth _needs_ to be with Siobhan. He cannot miss the birth of his first child, and I will be void-bound if my sister gives birth without any family nearby. How can we make this happen?"

"You mean, how can we convince Gareth to leave?"

Fergus grinned. "That is exactly what I mean. He feels responsible for this army, and Gareth takes his responsibility _very_ seriously."

"Then you must combine his responsibilities here with his responsibilities to his family, no?" Leliana's voice came from behind them.

Leliana sat with them as they continued to discuss the issue; Udell joined them, as did Kasch. Many options were discussed and discarded. As Gareth came back from the stream, Kasch, who favored a direct approach, motioned him over. "Gareth, your place is at the birth of your child. Take me and a healer, and let us ride out today. We can talk strategy with your wife and you can be a whole person."

You could have heard a pin drop around the campfire. All eyes were on Kasch and Gareth.

Gareth voice was calm, but warm. "Kasch, my place is here, I cannot leave now that we have come all this way and have retaken Ostagar."

Kasch was not be dissuaded. "Please, your position as our _Kommandant _is without doubt, our loyalty to you is without question. I think I can speak for all when I say that we want to give you this time. To give back some of what you have given to us."

The surprise was clear on Gareth's face. "Kasch, I am honored by your words. Thank you."

Fergus stood next to Gareth. "So, are you going to listen to him?"

Gareth was silent, and then simply nodded his head. He looked at Kasch, "You're with me. I will also take Wynne, Kess, and Donnelly. Fergus, you are in command, Adler is your second. Alistair, you are the Warden Commander on the scene and will be the final authority on anything dealing with Darkspawn. Kasch, we ride in two hours." Gareth walked into his tent.

Adler started to chuckle. Kasch and Fergus looked at him. "That man never misses a beat. Kess was the young warrior who had difficulty working as part of a team, learned the importance of formation fighting…the hard way. Taking him on such a journey is a stroke of brilliance, he will come back a smarter warrior."

oOo

After Gareth announced the change in plans, Udell sought out Aya. "Daughter, I would like to speak with you."

Aya held up her hand. "Father, I know you want to bring Morrigan and I together; I am not yet ready. Please, I need more time."

"Aya, time is not a luxury we have. Please, you need to do this. Bring Fergus if you like. But this needs to happen."

Frustration and resignation was clear in Aya's face and voice. "I understand Father. Thank you for suggesting Fergus; I will discuss it with him."

Udell held out his arms, and Aya slowly went to them.

* * *

Siobhan wasn't needed to run the house staff, which was fortunate because, as she pointed out to Teagan, "I would need to be towed around by a bronto." Zevran and Teagan were very solicitous of her health, and Zevran was deadly serious about her security. That Siobhan didn't fight him on this was surprising and Zevran asked her about it.

"_Dolcezza_, I expected you to be more combative regarding the security arrangements. Docile is not an adjective I would ascribe to you."

"Zevran, I agree with Teagan's suspicions. Eamon is too entrenched in his traditional political views to back down like this. I suspect that he is plotting something, but until I know what, I am not taking any chances this late my pregnancy. You are my first and best defense; I would be a fool to fight you."

"You are as wise as you are beautiful, my Warden. So, if I suggested that it would be safer if I wrapped my body around yours at night, you would not argue?"

Siobhan rolled her eyes. "All right, _then_ I would argue."

* * *

One night, after dinner, Teagan and Zevran were in the library teaching Connor and Siobhan how to play Wicked Grace. The door gong sounded and soft voices could be heard from the entry. Shortly after, Teagan's seneschal came into the room.

"My Lord, Bann?"

"Yes, Ryan?"

"The Warden Commander has visitors."

Siobhan rose, but Zevran held her shoulder and asked, "Did they say who they were?"

A deep voice sounded from the doorway, "I had hoped to keep that a surprise."

Siobhan pressed her hand to her chest, tears springing to her eyes. "Gareth?"

A large man entered the room. His hair was longer and his goatee was now a trimmed full beard, but it was him; the other half of her soul. She couldn't move, she could only put her out her hand. Gareth quickly closed the distance and took her hand in his, holding it to his chest. He gently cupped her face in his other hand and drank her in with his eyes. Siobhan gently touched his face, as if trying to believe he was real.

Neither said a word. Teagan and Zevran took Connor and quietly left the room.

Finally, Siobhan found her voice. "You... are not a dream."

Gareth placed his forehead against hers. "No, my dearest lady, I am no dream."


	35. Reunion

AN: Sorry for so long a hiatus. Medical issues kept me offline for the last month. I was going to post this, but then I got sick.

I'm back and will update again this week.

* * *

**Chapter 34: Reunion**

Gareth cupped her face in his hands and kissed her. It was a kiss that was as gentle as it was passionate. He gathered Siobhan in his arms and held her as close to his body as he could. Suddenly he felt something bump into the bottom of his cuirass. Pulling back, his eyes full of wonder, as he looked at Siobhan.

Siobhan smiled trembled, "I believe the baby feels left out."

Tearing off his gauntlets, Gareth knelt in front of Siobhan and placed his hands against her swollen belly. His deep voice soft and resonant as he said, "Hello, small one. I am your father, and I apologize for my tardy appearance." Almost as if in response Siobhan's belly rose and looked as if something under it, rolled over. The baby kicked twice, each time it was clearly a foot.

Gareth looked up at his wife and smiled. "Is that a nice answer or did the baby just tell me off?"

Siobhan laughed as Gareth stood up again. Smiling, her eyes moist with tears of joy, "I think it was an 'I'm eager to get the heck out of here and start my life' sort of response."

* * *

Teagan, Zevran and Connor had left Gareth and Siobhan's presence. Both Teagan and Zevran were pleased to see Wynne again. Zevran looked at the two strangers and carefully placed himself between them and Connor.

Wynne smiled. "Kasch is one of the army's leaders and Kess is one of its many brave soldiers." Pointing to Teagan, Zevran and Connor, "Kasch and Kess, this is Teagan Guerin, Bann of this area. This is Zevran Arainai…from Antiva, and this is Connor Guerin, Teagan's nephew."

Kess and Kasch nodded and bowed. Kasch stepped towards Teagan with his arm extended, "Vell met." His voice thickly accented.

Teagan gripped Kasch's arm, "Well met, and welcome to Rainesfere. I am honored to meet you both."

The men each greeted the other. Kasch was taller than Gareth and when he got to Connor, he squatted down a bit so he could be closer to eye-level with the young man as he greeted him.

Zevran noticed that Connor's eyes were wide at the sight of Kess and Kasch. _Connor has seen knights before, but these two men have an air of command, they aren't servants of a higher rank, they are their own men. This is a useful thing for Connor to see, I must speak with him about it later._

Teagan led his guests into parlor, and everyone settled in with some refreshments. Teagan had already told the house staff to prepare rooms and baths. A short time later, Siobhan and Gareth joined everyone. Zevran and Teagan saw a different side of Siobhan, she glowed, she was at peace.

Kasch smiled to himself. He saw the piece of Gareth that had been missing. _He draws a tremendous amount of strength from his woman as she does from him. They are indeed a Geist Kraft. Their spirit is a force to be reckoned with. _He was glad that he had insisted on Gareth making the journey.

Gareth introduced Kess and Kasch to Siobhan. She smiled, "I am honored to be in your presence, and thank you for all that you have done for my husband."

Kess spoked up, "_Meine Dame, _your husband has done much for our people, it is our honor to fight beside him."

Gareth cleared his throat, clearly embarrassed by Kess' praise, "So, I suggest that we gather tomorrow and start making plans. I don't know yet when our child will make an appearance, aside from it being soon."

Siobhan laid a hand on Gareth's. "I think for now, it would be enough to show our guests to their rooms and let everyone get a bath and a good night of sleep."

Teagan saw the relief on Kess and Kasch's faces and smiled. "Kess, Kasch, please follow me. Zevran, I had a room made up for you as well."

Gareth looked puzzled, Zevran turned towards him, "My dear Teyrn, I doubt very much that you would like me to continue to sleep in your wife's closet, yes?"

Gareth's eyes narrowed then rose in understanding. "You have my eternal thanks for watching over Siobhan. However, now that I'm here, you can free yourself from the closet."

Zevran just smiled.

* * *

Aya had decided to take her father's advice and talk to Fergus about accompanying her when she met with Morrigan. She was now seated across from him on the bank of the stream; her head down, her hands loosely in her lap. Fergus was quiet, giving her time to collect her thoughts. Finally, she looked up, her green eyes held a lifetime of hurt. "Fergus, you know that my mother died, but I never told you how, or why."

Fergus nodded. "I figured that you would tell me when you were ready."

Aya slowly shook her head. "I will never be ready to tell _anyone. _It is a tale I had hoped never to tell, but Morrigan's presence in the camp has made it…unavoidable."

"Morrigan?" Fergus' voice mirrored the perplexity in his face.

"Yes, Morrigan and I were apprentices to my Father, however, Morrigan's apprenticeship was kept secret."

"Because of Flemeth?"

Aya nodded. "One afternoon, Mother and I were outside of the village harvesting some healing herbs." Aya's eyes had a faraway look, "I remember the sky was a perfect blue, the wilds were in the full bloom, young animals were venturing away from their nests and burrows. Mother was laughing and we were singing as we worked...

_Raelyn suddenly frowned and looked up._

_Mother? What is it?_

_Raelyn's voice was calm, but firm, "Aya, get behind me."_

_Aya obeyed without question and tried to reach out with her other senses. Raelyn's presence was like a sentinel and Aya couldn't push past it._

_Raelyn stood, as a large bird landed before them, "Andaran atish'an, Asha'belannar,"_

_Flemeth! Aya thought_

_The bird in front of them transformed into Flemeth. Aya didn't need special senses to tell that the infamous Witch of the Wilds was enraged._

"_Ar'din atisha, Raelyn__."_

"_Why are you not at peace, Asha'belannar?"_

"_Arrogance tends to disturb it."_

"_I know not of what you speak."_

"_Don't play coy with me; it doesn't suit you. You know precisely of what I speak."_

"_I know nothing of any arrogant acts." _

"_You do not think apprenticing my daughter to be arrogant!"_

_Aya was terrified; how did she find out…Morrigan!_

_Raelyn turned to her daughter, her eyes full of love for her only child. "Aya, please go to the village and ask your father to join us."_

_Aya didn't want to leave her mother, Raelyn's voice was soft, calming, lyrical, "Aya, emm'asha emm'vhenan, dar'atisha. My girl, my heart, be peaceful."_

_Aya felt the calming warmth spread through her body, looking from Raelyn to Flemeth and back. _

"_Ma'arlath, Mother."_

_Raelyn smiled at her daughter and made a shooing motion with her hands. _

Aya, coming back into herself, looked at Fergus, "Those were to be the last words mother and I shared. I ran to the village and found my father. When I told him what had happened, I could see the color drain from his face. He made me stay at the village and left to be with my mother." Aya held Fergus' hand, took a deep breath, and then let it out. "Father came…back to the village with Mother in his arms. He was silent as be brought her to our hut and laid her out on the bed. There wasn't a mark on her; she simply looked like she was asleep…" Aya's eyes again looked into the past…

"_Father, is she unconscious?"_

_Udell shook his head, "No, my sweet one, she is with the spirit of our ancestors."_

"_Dead! Why did Flemeth kill her? Why…WHY!..." Aya collapsed on the floor in tears. _

_Udell gathered his daughter into his arms._

Once again focusing on Fergus, tears streaming down her face, Aya continued, "I never understood how my mother could _die_ on a day that teemed with _life!_ Father told me that Flemeth decided that there was a price to pay for the 'audacity' of teaching _her_ daughter _anything_. Flemeth had planned on killing my father, but according to Father, my mother convinced Flemeth to accept _her_ as some kind of sacrifice. She gave her life to save my father. Father knew that the only reason mother sent me to get him was to bring back her body and to keep me safe. I found out later, that it had been Morrigan's selfish pride and carelessness that led to Flemeth's discovery."

Fergus was quiet.

"Fergus?"

Fergus started. "Sorry, I was just thinking about what you went through; losing your Mother at such a young age." Pulling her into his arms, he stroked her hair. "I will always stand with you and support you. You _never_ need to ask."

Aya relaxed into Fergus' arms as the tension eased from her body. After a few precious moments, she pulled away just enough to look into his kind eyes. "_Mien helle seele_, your support means everything to me. I'll suggest to my father that he set up this meeting as soon as possible."

Fergus smiled, the setting sun bathing them in a warm red glow. "Let's enjoy the sunset first, then you can talk to your father." Fergus shifted slightly so Aya was still in his arms, but snuggled against his side, affording them a wonderful view of the fading daylight.

The next day, after the morning meal, Aya and Fergus entered Udell's tent where he and Morrigan were already seated. Fergus took Aya's hand and tried to send as much love and strength as he could through this simple act of touch.

Udell stood, he knew the courage it took for Aya to face the woman she had always held responsible for her mother's death. He motioned for Fergus and Aya to sit.

Morrigan was also dreading this meeting, but she was, surprisingly, intrigued. She remembered the young Aya, the sometimes unsure, sometimes overconfident, and sometimes bratty, Aya. However, during the short time in camp, she had watched Aya interact with Sten and Shale, and play music with Leliana. She watched Aya act as a healer, and serve as a leader among the healers. She was impressed by Aya's strength, independence, and fierce determination; all were traits that Morrigan admired. _Aya, like Siobhan, could be as gentle as a breeze or as tough as steel. Yet, Aya clearly asked Fergus to come with her, to support her, did that make Aya weak? _

Morrigan was surprised when the answer came unbidden to her mind…_No._

As Aya sat down, she was surprised at the look in Morrigan's eyes…_Respect?_

Though physically separated by only a couple of feet, the emotional distance between the women seemed infinite. Udell looked up at Morrigan and Aya, his face and voice calm and neutral. "This meeting isn't about past hurt, anger, and blame. That is something for your own hearts to pursue. Today's meeting is about gathering strength to battle the current forces of darkness."

His words lifted some of the tension in the room and both women focused on Udell, who opened a small box lying in front of him. Inside the box were two pieces of polished, featureless, blue-grey stone.

"This is a ritual of binding. It was something I was going to perform after you had finished your apprenticeships. Although you are both well beyond that now, it is still a necessary ritual."

"Father, why are you doing this? Why _now_?"

Udell looked at his daughter, "Would you deny me, a tradition that has been in our tribe for many generations?"

Aya looked down at the floor. "Of course not, Father."

"Before I continue, I will need each of you, in turn, to hold the rocks, and speak of the most important thing you learned as an apprentice." Udell gave the stones to Morrigan. The pieces warmed to her touch. She thought for a long moment. "The most important thing I learned as an apprentice was something I only recently understood. That there is still much I still have to learn." As she spoke the stones began to faintly glow.

Aya was surprised by Morrigan's admission, the Morrigan she remembered was quick tempered, intolerant and arrogant. Morrigan passed the pieces to Aya, their eyes met, green to yellow. As Aya took the stones, her hands met Morrigan's and memories started to flash through her mind, memories of laughter and joy as Morrigan and Aya both began to learn, and to experience the world around them.

Morrigan was also flooded with memories, of her first meeting with Aya and Udell, about the freedom in learning and the joy of making and _sharing_ discoveries. She pulled her hands away from the stones. The images stopped, but the emotion still flowed through her.

Surprised by the power of those memories, Aya almost dropped the stones. After securing them in her hand, she felt a presence in them. As if a portion of Morrigan's essence remained. Aya thought for a long while. Then spoke softly, "The most important thing I learned as an apprentice seems to be the one lesson I have forgotten…'To judge is to become blind to further knowledge.' " Looking at Morrigan. "It appears that I too, still have much to learn." The pieces of stone glowed more brightly.

Udell took the pieces and held them in his hand. "You are bound by the path of discovery upon which you both once journeyed. As the path diverged, one became two, but what was once joined can never truly be sundered." The stone mirrored Udell's words, coming together as on brilliantly glowing stone, no longer featureless but marbled with various brilliant shades of blue. Then stone quietly split into two pieces, each retaining the brilliance and the beautiful marbling.

Udell gave one piece to Morrigan and one to Aya. "As long as you keep this stone on your person, you will always feel the essence of the other and can draw from the knowledge and the strength of that bond. Choosing to use it, and how you use it, is up to each of you."

Aya felt Morrigan's essence with her, but instead of fighting it, she let it in. She felt Morrigan do the same thing. For the moment, a quiet truce existed between the two women.

* * *

It was late afternoon when Alistair saw Fergus sitting by his tent oiling his bow. Alistair didn't remember Fergus being an archer, but as reflected, he hadn't seen Fergus carry a sword and shield since they arrived. Fergus finished the bow and secured it to his back. As he stood, he winced for a moment, then ducked into his tent and returned with a tall walking stick. He turned and saw Alistair watching.

Alistair felt like an idiot for starring. "I…I'm sorry your gra…Fergus. I didn't mean to stare. It was only because I didn't remember your being an archer and you are obviously recuperating…actually then, I guess I did mean to stare… but in a…good way?" Alistair stopped and just sighed, looking at his feet.

Fergus looked confused at first, then smiled, then started to laugh. After catching his breath he looked at the red-faced Warden. "Alistair, I apologize for laughing, I wasn't laughing at you, it's you just reminded of the time I first met King Maric. I was about fourteen. The King had a pronounced limp, which, I found out later, was from a recent accident. I just remember staring at his limp thinking, 'Do I mention it? Do I look away? What do I _do_?' I just stood there and stared at his limp. Maric simply stopped walking and waited for me to notice. When I _finally_ looked up, I stammered out some, maker knows _what_, kind of apology. Maric laughed as he clapped me on the back and told me, 'Young Fergus Cousland, just because I'm King doesn't mean that my crap smells like roses.'

"He actually _said_ that?"

"He did indeed. So, please, don't apologize for staring. When I last saw you, I was hale and whole, swinging my sword and carrying a shield. Now I carry a bow and need the assistance of walking stick. I would be surprised if you _didn't_ stare."

"Thanks. I tend to ramble when I'm nervous."

Fergus nodded. "Truth to tell, so do I."

Alistair smiled. "I take it, then, your crap doesn't smell like roses, either?"

"Only if I squat in a rose bush, my friend."

Both men laughed heartily. Fergus was the first to speak, "So, aside from noticing my change in martial skills, what do you need?"

"I need your advice and counsel."

"Sounds serious, does it require privacy?"

Alistair simply nodded.

"My tent would be the best place. Go on in and I will tell the watch to make sure we're not disturbed."

Once inside Fergus' tent, Alistair noticed two large cushions on the floor, a lute resting against the tent poll and piece of parchment lying on the bedroll. The drawing on the parchment was a beautiful portrait of the healer, Aya. The sketch captured Aya the way a lover would, luminous, highlighting her soft curves and beautiful eyes. At that moment, Fergus entered the room; he saw Alistair looking at the parchment. Not knowing Alistair all that well, he was unsure of what to say. Fortunately, the younger man smiled. "She seems to bring you joy; Siobhan will be so happy to know that."

That simple statement allowed Fergus to completely relax his guard around the young warden. Motioning toward the cushions, he smiled. "She does, and I look forward to introducing them. Please, let's sit down. How can I help?"

"Fergus, you know that I wasn't raised near court, so the knowledge I have of the Fereldan political affairs could fit into an ink-well. You know from Gareth, that Arl Eamon wants to put me forward as king?"

Fergus nodded. "Yes, I'm not surprised. I also understand that isn't what you want."

"No it isn't."

Fergus grinned, understanding in his eyes. "I'm sure Eamon didn't take that well, did he?"

"That's an understatement. Fergus, your sister fought for me, even when I was unable to fight for myself. She believes I should be able to follow my own path."

Fergus leaned back on his hands. "Siobhan and I were raised to think differently about the nature of duty. Father firmly believed that if your action came from a respect to what's right, you were being dutiful. He felt that duty was not some tradition-bound dogma designed to strip one of their free will. Our father said, 'duty is something you should be able to embrace, not something you endure.' In the case of Highever, father spoke with me as soon as I was old enough to understand, to determine if I wanted to succeed him as Teyrn."

"Did you?"

Fergus suddenly had a far away look in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Fergus, I didn't mean too…"

"Alistair, it's all right. It is a legitimate question, and yes, I did. I also know that if I had not, _truly_ did not want to. Father would not have forced me."

What your father would have done if you'd said, no."

"Done the smart thing and made my sister do it." Fergus smirked. "So let me ask you. What is it that you would rather do than be King of Ferelden?"

Alistair spoke _without_ a second thought. "Remain a Grey Warden. I want to work to rebuild all that we lost at Ostagar. I want to _change_ the Fereldan image of the Grey; undo the lies Loghain has spread. I want Fereldans to know that even if the Archdemon is dead, the Wardens are _still_ needed. Fereldans need to know and to understand that we are _not_ an Orlesian mouthpiece."

Fergus saw the passion in Alistair's eyes, heard it ring in his voice. _Would this passion better serve Ferelden, with Alistair as king? _"Alistair, could you not accomplish this as king, with the aid of a Warden Commander?"

Alistair shook his head. "No. Wardens strive to be politically neutral. While the crown could _partner_ with the warden commander, the final decision rests with Commander of the Ferelden Grey. I want to be the one making that _final_ decision, I want to set the direction. I also swore an oath when I became a Grey Warden, to become king would require me to break that oath. Ferelden does not need an oath breaker as king…it already has one as it's regent."

"Alistair, I can see why Siobhan supports your decision, but you didn't need me to confirm that."

"Where I need your counsel and advice is that I know who I _want_ to take the throne, but not how, or if I should even try, to make that happen."


	36. Family

**Chapter 35: Family**

**AN: **Thank you to all who are reading this. Thank you, especially, to Shakespira for her support and reviews and to Nithu, beta surpreme.

Bioware owns all.

* * *

After Fergus and Aya left the tent, Morrigan was about to leave when Udell motioned for her to stay.

Udell went straight to the point, "_Mein_ _lehrling, _Flemeth has taken time to weave a strong web."

Morrigan nodded." 'Tis what she does best, it seems."

"Yes, however, this one started long ago, before Maric met your mother."

"King Maric met _my_ mother?"

"He was not King at the time, he was with Loghain when they happened upon her. In return for her help, she elicited a promise from Maric, one he never revealed to another soul."

"I suppose, of course, you know what promise was?"

"I cannot confirm it, of course, but I _believe_ it was for Maric to allow the Grey Wardens back into Ferelden. She also said to Maric and Loghain that a Blight will one day happen in Ferelden."

Morrigan looked surprised. "How could she _know_ about that a Blight would start in Ferelden?"

"As prognostication is not one of Flemeth's talents, either she knew who would cause it or she helped it to happen."

As Morrigan began understand the impact Udell's words, her blood ran cold as terror gripped her heart.

Udell watched the emotions play out on Morrigan's face. "Now you realize how you fit into this puzzle. The question is what will you do?"

"If I do nothing then either Siobhan or Alastair will die. If I do what I was sent to do, they will live, and if Siobhan kills my mother's body it will give me time to escape."

"If you believe that killing your mother's body will somehow buy you time, then you do not know Flemeth as well as you should."

Morrigan looked unconvinced. "It matters not. Siobhan and Alistair are the only two wardens left, although Siobhan has not yet taken the joining, she will."

Again Udell smiled. "You presume too much. Do not be too sure that either will have to die."

Morrigan looked at Udell. "Do I? A Grey Warden must slay the Archdemon. When Gareth finds out, he will demand on becoming a warden. You and I both know that Siobhan would sacrifice herself to save Alistair or Gareth, either of whom would lay down their lives for Siobhan. The only way to prevent needless deaths is to perform the ritual. There is no one else; Siobhan, Alistair and Gareth are the only family they have left, and each would die for the other."

"Ah _mein l__ehrling,_ it is good to see that you have begun to care about those with whom you travel. And while the situation may look this way for now, remember, how one defines family is a not set in stone. It is fluid, changing with time."

Morrigan smiled without mirth. "Aya always said you were annoyingly cryptic."

* * *

Loghain sat alone in his bedchambers; across from him hung a portrait of Celia, holding Anora. It was painted when she was pregnant with Gareth. Loghain's mind couldn't help but wander back to the day he came home, intent on being there to welcome his second child into the world. Celia was sitting in a pool of sunlight holding Anora and singing the child's favorite song.

_In Gwaren's fair city, where girls are so pretty,  
that's where I first met Sweet A'nora MacTir.  
She wheeled her wheelbarrow  
Through streets that are narrow  
Crying Cockles and Muscles  
Alive alive-o!" _

_Alive, Alive-oho! Alive, Alive-oho!  
Crying Cockles and Muscles  
Alive alive-o._

Loghain smiled at the memory. There were other verses to that song, but Anora never stayed awake very long once Celia began to sing. He remembered the softness and richness of her voice. His mind then wandered to Gareth's birth. Gareth was a large baby with a shock of black hair. He remembered when he first held him, Gareth was whimpering, Loghain remembered a part of his childhood and sang softly:

"_Over in Ferelden  
Many years ago,  
Me Mither sang a song to me  
In tones so sweet and low.  
Just a simple little ditty  
In her good ould Gwaren way,  
And l'd give the world if she could sing  
That song to me this day_

_Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li,  
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, hush now, don't you cry!  
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li,  
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, that's an Gwaren lullaby." _

He knew his voice was gruff, but Gareth stopped his fussing and fell asleep in his arms. Loghain took a moment to happily gaze at his sleeping son, and then carefully, handed the baby back to Celia.

Loghain's memories took a sharp turn to the last time he saw Gareth, and the harsh words he said to his only son, never realizing they would be the last.

The loss, again feeling so fresh, forced tears down Loghain's weathered cheeks, his voice a horse whisper began to sing.

"_Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li,  
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, hush now,...don't you cry…" _

Lost to tears and memories, Loghain laid down to try and get a few hours of sleep.

* * *

Anora was in her sitting room, with Rendon Howe. Her face unreadable, her eyes like ice. "Is it _true_ that Orlais sent troops to assist us, and that those forces have been stopped at the boarder?"

"Yes, and that is where they'll stay."

"But they could help against the Blight…"

"We cannot simply let the _Orlesians_ waltz into Ferelden!"

"But there will be no Ferelden to save if the Blight destroys our country!"

"Anora! This Blight is not the problem. It is simply a diversion. We must stand strong."

"I believe the Blight to be real. May I remind you that I am the Queen and I will not stand by and let my people fall victim to hordes of darkspawn! I want the Orlesians to help us, and as Queen, that is what I will do!"

Rendon clapped. "Perfect! Your voice carried just the right amount of command and challenge. Your father is going to have no choice but to lock you away. That certainly will not sit well with the Bannorn, and it will _endear_ you to Ferelden. The Queen will be seen as defending her people, even against her own father."

Anora smiled. "As long as I am simply 'locked' away. I take it you are prepared?"

"Have you ever known me to be anything else?"

Anora thought about Marjolaine, but simply smiled. "Of course not, Rendon."

* * *

For Siobhan, waking up was a languorous process, carefully stretching her legs, which had been cramping up recently, then rolling over and smiling to see Gareth who was still asleep. After so many months of longing, Siobhan welcomed the opportunity to simply watch him. His jet-black hair was tousled, and she spotted some grey hairs. His full eyelashes feathered against his tan skin. Siobhan looked at the full beard, having always seen him with a goatee, she pondered the look, deciding that it gave him a look of maturity, which the rakish goatee had not.

She reached toward his face, her hands soft and light, stroked his cheeks, and beard. She wanted to kiss him, but her ever-widening stomach made that impossible.

"I am a lucky man to wake up to a beautiful woman, stroking my face." His deep voice sounded, though his eyes were still closed.

"How long have you been awake?"

"Long enough to know you were watching me."

Siobhan blushed and gently pushed his shoulder. Gareth chuckled, opening his eyes. "The blush on your cheeks suits you, my pale beauty."

Siobhan smiled. "Please, I feel like a cow, not a beauty."

Gareth rolled over, pushing her on to her back and looking her in the eyes. "You are a breathtakingly beautiful, glowing expectant mother, who I love more than life itself. Remember that."

Siobhan looked into his light blue eyes, and smiled. "Maker, how I have missed you."

Gareth smiled and gently kissed his wife, pulling her into his arms. Siobhan laid back in his strong arms and felt completely relaxed, until the baby started to kick.

Siobhan slowly, and reluctantly, rose from the bed and sighed, "Privy visit number one."

* * *

Zevran woke up feeling a sense of unease that he could not ignore. Getting out of bed and quickly putting on his leathers, he moved in the shadows, checking the house. He heard Gareth and Siobhan whispering, Teagan was snoring, Wynne, Conner, Kess, Kasch, and Donnelly were all sleeping soundly.

As he moved downstairs, he heard a noise; most humans would have missed it. Zevran slowly and silently moved in the direction of the sound, leading him to the study. Once there, he could smell not just the leather furniture, but also another type of leather, one similar to his own. Glancing around the room, he noticed a bookcase in the far corner that was not quite in the right place, as if it was a half a hand's width off from where it normally sat._ A secret passage! Does Teagan know about this?_

Zevran stilled himself, invisible in the shadows of the early morning; he waited and watched as the bookcase slid slowing back into position, the smell of leather still present.

Zevran was patient. _Whoever it is, they are still in the study._ He waited for the leather-clad person to come into sight. Finally he caught a glimpse of dull blond hair as it disappeared into the shadows.

_Ah, cat and mouse is always my favorite game. _ Zevran enjoyed the chase even more than the capture, and he knew that his opponent was good. Zevran moved to a position that gave him control of the only other exit from the room. Using the shadows like an expert, no one could have seen him move.

His opponent, cursed to himself, at the sound of the bookcase. He knew that an Antivan Crow was in the residence, and he could only hope that he was still asleep. Samuel, moved like a cat in the still of the study, he smelled leather, but as the furniture was leather he dismissed it. Moving through the shadows of the bookcases, Samuel eased towards the door.

Zevran watched and waited. The smell of leather came closer. As the sun rose, casting different shadows, Zevran moved with them still cloaked in darkness.

Samuel approached the door. _Just a few more feet... _

He never got that far, seemingly from nowhere Zevran quickly appeared behind him, wrapping arm around his neck, quickly disarming him.

"Tch, tch, you are good, _mio amico_, but alas, I am better. Now, we should talk about your business here, yes?" Zevran gave out a sharp whistle, which brought Teagan and Gareth, and sent Kasch and Kess to guard Siobhan and Conner.

Samuel was bound and seated in a chair when Gareth entered the room. "So Zevran, what have you caught for us this morning?"

* * *

Gareth had been firmly against Siobhan going downstairs until it was safe. Siobhan tried to argue, but even she realized there was nothing she could do. Kasch, guarded Siobhan, waiting for Zevran's 'all is well' signal. Impatient, Siobhan paced, worried about what was happening and wishing she could get into her armor and follow Gareth.

When Zevran signaled, Kasch escorted Siobhan downstairs where she saw a bound man, Zevran holding a knife at his throat, and Gareth and Teagan looking like storm clouds.

It was at that point, Siobhan felt a large cramp, and water streamed down her legs.


	37. Labors and Delivery

**Chapter 36. Labors and Delivery**

**AN**: Thanks to all who have reviewed, faved, set alerts, and lurk. Warning, this chapter has a dark Zevran, and a depiction of childbirth. The birthing experience is different for everyone. This one was drawn from my experiences and those of my friends.

Thanks so much to my awesome beta, Nithu!

Bioware owns all, and I wish I could keep Gareth!

* * *

Kasch escorted Siobhan downstairs where she saw a bound man, Zevran holding a knife at his throat, and Gareth and Teagan looking like storm clouds.

It was at that point, Siobhan felt a large cramp, and water streamed down her legs.

Siobhan knew she was starting labor, and looked up from the puddle on the floor. "Gareth!"

Gareth turned, his eyes wide, but his voice was calm and firm. "Kess, please bring Wynne to our room, and keep Connor away from here. Kasch…"

Kasch had already lifted Siobhan in his arms.

"Please bring her to our room, then come back here. I want you to help Zevran and Teagan with the questioning."

Kasch nodded; another cramp shot through Siobhan and she groaned while Kasch whisked her upstairs.

Gareth then turned to the prisoner. "Teagan, Zevran, figure out _everything_ he knows, but keep him alive."

Zevran smiled. "I will try…"

"Zevran, _alive_!" Gareth turned and headed upstairs.

Zevran smiled as he whispered into the man's ear. "The definition of alive can mean many things, my friend."

He went pale.

* * *

Wynne and two serving maids met Kasch and Siobhan in the bedroom.

"Please lay her down on the bed as close to the foot of the bed as possible. Sela and…"

"Trinian, ma'am." The taller of the two servants replied.

"Sela and Trinian, please bring towels, several blankets, warm water, a knife, and some string"

The two servants nodded and quickly left the room, along with Kasch, as Gareth came in.

Wynne turned. "You shouldn't be in here, Gareth. Please, just wait outside."

"To the void with that, Wynne, I am _not_ stepping foot out that door."

Wynne was torn for a moment, it was scandalous for the father to watch the birthing of his child, but the set of Gareth's jaw and force in his voice gave her no choice but to agree.

Siobhan arched as another contraction took hold, she was sweating and panting with the pain.

Wynne examined her. "Things are progressing normally. Gareth, if you are going to stay here, then you cannot just stand by and watch. I want Siobhan to try and walk around the room for a while. Siobhan, I want you to lean on Gareth. When you have a contraction lean forward. Gareth, this is going to be hard to watch, but don't say I didn't warn you."

"I dare say Wynne, this will be far harder on Siobhan than it will be on me." Gareth gave a half smile.

Siobhan leaned on Gareth's arm as they walked slowly around the room. When Siobhan had a contraction, she would lean forward and groan.

"Just hold on to my hand, love, squeeze as hard you need to."

Siobhan hear the deep rumble of his voice, and it calmed her, she looked up. "I'm happy beyond words that you're here."

Gareth kissed the top of her head, "Nowhere else I would rather be."

Another contraction hit Siobhan; she squeezed Gareth's hand, and started to scream. Then, remembering injuries she had suffered during this odyssey, Morrigan voice came to mind.

"_Honestly, screaming only makes it worse, and half the woods will hear you. Just breath through the pain, pant if you need to."_

Siobhan started breathing, short breaths, and then, as the contraction eased, she took a long, deep breath.

Wynne kept monitoring the contractions; Siobhan would groan and take shallow breaths, and then a long one once the contraction ended. When Gareth started breathing with her, she looked at him and smiled. "Are you encouraging or sympathizing?"

Gareth chuckled. "I'm not sure."

* * *

Zevran looked sharply at Teagan. "Are you aware that there is a secret passage into this study?"

Zevran saw that Teagan's shock was genuine and relaxed. Twirling his dagger, he looked the bound man. "So, _mio amico,_ let us start with something simple. What is your name?"

The bound man said nothing.

Zevran leaned close, a predatory smile spread across his face as he gently ran his dagger up the inside of Samuel's thigh stopping just short of his groin. "Come now, let us not get unpleasant this early in the game. What is your name?"

"Samuel."

"Samuel, here is how it will go, I will ask you a question. For each one you fail to answer truthfully, I will cut off a piece of your armor. Once there is no armor left, you will only have your skin. Do you know what it is like to be skinned alive, _mio amico?_

Samuel's eyes widened. "You have to leave me alive."

Zevran became a mask, his voice flat and deadly. "One can lose skin and remain alive, of that I assure you."

* * *

Siobhan's labor proceeded; the contractions came very close to together, making it hard for Siobhan to take a deep breath. Tears sprang to her eyes; Gareth's voice was firm. "Breath, Siobhan, breathe with me, in…out…in…out."

Siobhan was sweating from the effort, her red hair plastered to her pale skin, looked like flames. She groaned "Damn you, Gareth, why are you always so calm!"

Gareth laughed. "Would my lady prefer me to run around the room screaming?"

The image made Siobhan laugh, albeit for a short time as another contraction ripped through her body.

Gareth looked a Wynne and mouthed "How much longer?"

Wynne examined Siobhan. "Siobhan, you have a very large baby in there. You're doing very well, just keep it up."

"Great, I felt like a cow and now I'm giving birth to one!" Siobhan groaned

* * *

Zevran knelt in front of Samuel. "Who sent you?"

Samuel was defiant. "No one you know."

"Really? I know quite a few people. Try me."

"Mosley."

"The Snake? I hardly think so." Zevran stripped the greaves off Samuel's right leg, gently running the edge of his blade down the calf, shaving off hairs as he went. Samuel shivered.

"Try again, _amico_."

"It was Mosley!" Samuel insisted.

"Do you know, how I know you are lying? Mosley the Snake is merely a leader of bandits. He takes jobs like yours, but he is never the one who pulls the strings." Leaning close, Zevran said in silky tones, "I should know, he is particularly vocal in bed." Zevran stripped off the other leg greave. "So, I ask again, who are you working for?"

Samuel hung his head. "The Arl of Redcliffe."

Teagan's face was red with fury. Zevran gripped his shoulder and whispered. "Stay calm, my dear bann. Please."

Turning back to Samuel. "What were you supposed to look for?"

"How do you know I'm not just an assassin sent here to kill everyone?"

Zevran's laugh was genuine. "Please, our dear Arl may be devious, but he is not stupid. You are not an assassin. You are a spy. You gather information, and maybe tie up loose ends." Then he leaned close. "I am an assassin, my friend, a very good one."

Zevran stripped the Samuel's stockings from both thighs. "One is for not answering the question and the other is because I was insulted by your claiming to be an assassin." Zevran gently ran the dagger up the inside of Samuel's naked thigh. "Such lovely skin you have, my friend. So, what were you supposed to look for?"

* * *

"We don't have a birthing stool. Siobhan, I want you to sit as close to the edge of the bed as possible. Gareth, get behind her and support her back. "

Siobhan felt much better in the new position, leaning against Gareth's broad chest

Wynne examined Siobhan again. "Well, my dear let us see if you can push this baby out. When you feel a contraction, I want you to push as hard as you can."

Siobhan was tired but determined. Gareth wiped her brow with a damp towel. "I am so proud of you. We're almost there."

Siobhan looked up and Gareth kissed her forehead and smiled. "Sorry, love, that's as far as I can reach."

Siobhan smiled, "You'd better make up for it later."

Gareth just laughed, then another contraction hit. Both Wynne and Gareth said in unison, "Push, Siobhan."

"I knooooow." She groaned and pushed as hard as she could.

* * *

Samuel was reduced to his codpiece and paldrins before Zevran was able to get the details of what the Arl wanted.

Teagan's anger knew no bounds. "That conniving bastard! I'll kill him myself!"

Zevran again tried to calm Teagan. "Killing him will not further our cause. We need his influence and his army."

Teagan, snorted like a bull, but regained his composure. "I know, it's just outrageous. Especially after Siobhan and Alistair saved his life and the life of his wife and child."

Zevran nodded. Then turned back to Samuel. "So my friend, you have so little armor left and I still have several more questions. Tell me when and how did our dear Arl summon you?"

Samuel spat at Zevran.

Zevran sighed. "I have been very patient with you, and still you resist. You have already told me so much, why fight now."

"You're nothing but a filthy knife-ear." Samuel tried to look tough.

Zevran smiled. "I have been called worse things by far better people." Squatting he looked into Samuel's eyes. "Do you _want_ me to skin you? Is that a proclivity of yours or do you doubt that I will go through with it?"

"Bastard!" Samuel yelled.

"That is very true, I am." Zevran said calmly. "Kasch, please hold our friend down, I would hate for him to accidentally hurt himself."

Zevran took his dagger and gently sliced a very small piece of skin off of Samuel's thigh.

He screamed.

* * *

Siobhan felt like she was in an endless wave of pain. When a contraction hit, her body gave her no choice but to push. Between a particularly painful set of contractions, an exhausted Siobhan looked up at Gareth. "I…I can't do this anymore. Can we just go home?"

Gareth looked at Wynne who whispered. "Don't worry, it's just the pain talking."

Gareth gently squeezed Siobhan's hands. "I'm sorry, _cariad_, we can't go home just yet. You can do this."

Another contraction hit and once again Siobhan had to push. Wynne smiled. "I can see the crown of the head Siobhan; we are almost there!"

* * *

Wiping off his knife while Samuel whimpered. Zevran said, "Tch, Tch, such a large scream for such a small amount of skin. Now, tell me, when and how did our dear Arl summon you and how were you supposed to give him the information?"

Samuel was quiet, breathing hard, looking at Zevran, saying nothing.

Zevran shook his head. "Perhaps, you need more encouragement, yes?" He then proceeded slice a longer piece of skin from the inside of Samuels' thigh.

This time his scream was heard through out the house.

* * *

Siobhan screamed as the head emerged. Wynne, holding it gently, said, "Siobhan, one more push, you can do this."

Gareth could see the head of the baby, a shock of black hair. _Maker there is so much blood and why is the baby so purple? _ "Come on, my love, the baby has black hair. Let's see the rest."

When the next contraction came and Siobhan gave one last push, Gareth felt like he was pushing too. Suddenly, there was a cry and then a warm, wet baby lay upon Siobhan's stomach. Siobhan instinctively reached for it and pulled the baby to her breast. Gareth was simply speechless.

"Congratulations, Gareth and Siobhan, you have a beautiful baby boy."

Gareth stroked the hair from his wife's eyes as the baby latched on to Siobhan's breast. She looked down and said, "Welcome to the world, Bryce Gareth Mac Tir."


	38. The Art of Subtlety

**Chapter 37. The Art of Subtlety**

**AN: Thanks to Shakespira, Eva Galana for their reviews. Special thanks to Nithu, my awesome-tastic Beta.**

* * *

Gareth and the servants settled Siobhan and the baby into a larger room. Wynne, tired but happy, went downstairs to share the news. She too had heard the screams, and was worried.

When she got downstairs, she saw no sign of the captive; everyone was in the dinning hall, starting dinner. Wynne paused at the door, all heads turned towards her. Smiling, she said, "I am pleased to announce that Bryce Gareth Mac Tir has arrived. He is a large and healthy baby. Siobhan and Gareth are also doing fine, tired, but fine.

The room erupted in cheers; Teagan escorted Wynne to a table and asked to servants to bring more ale in celebration.

Wynne saw the shadow behind Teagan's eyes; whatever had transpired here today had not brought good news. She was going to ask, but Zevran pulled her away from Teagan and whirled her around the room in a short dance. "For helping to bring Siobhan's baby into the world, I will refrain from commenting on your lovely bosom, but only for tonight."

Zevran's smiled was so engaging, that Wynne didn't have the heart to rebuff him.

* * *

Gareth and Siobhan moved to a room with a larger bed. Exhausted from the birth, Siobhan happily crawled under the clean sheets, curled up next to Gareth, and fell asleep; Bryce was already asleep in a wooden cradle that had been set-up nearby. While Gareth was watching Siobhan, his mind was a whirl of thoughts and emotions. He felt a sense of joy being with Siobhan and Bryce that he never could have imagined. At the same time he felt the cold fingers of fear begin to grab hold of him. He needed to know what happened downstairs; he had heard the screams but Siobhan, thankfully, had not. He needed to contact Alistair and Fergus and find out what was happening at Ostagar. _How is Siobhan going to carry on the rest of her mission? Who will watch out over Bryce, while we both fight this Blight?_

Exhaustion finally overpowered his worries and the next thing he knew, the morning sun was shining through their window. Siobhan, wearing a simple shift, was sitting in a chair by the fireplace, nursing Bryce.

"Good morning, sleepy head." Siobhan smiled.

Gareth just smiled. Siobhan was bathed in the sunlight, bringing out the gold in her fiery red hair. Light and shadow played across her body, highlighting the gentle curve of her breasts as Bryce continued to nurse.

"I wish a painter could capture you, sitting there bathed in sunlight, nursing our son. It's a vision I could wake up to for years."

Siobhan laughed. "Trust me, dear one, it was not a vision when I was up nursing in the wee hours."

Gareth got out of bed, walked over to Siobhan and tilted her head up to look at him. "You, _cariad,_ are always a vision." Kneeling, he looked at his son, he clearly had his hair color and his eyes would be blue but it would be a few days before they could determine which shade. His nose and mouth were, very much, Siobhan's.

"He is a hungry one, it seems." Siobhan said moving the baby to the other breast; he needed little help latching on. "From the size of him, I will hazard a guess that he will grow to be the same tall broad strapping man his father is."

Gareth stood up with a huge grin, stuck out his chest and flexed his upper arm muscles.

Siobhan laughed so hard that Bryce had trouble feeding, and he began to fret.

"Shhh, _stóirín_. Don't fret." Siobhan cooed as she helped him latch back on.

"Love, I'm going to fetch some breakfast and catch up on things downstairs. Do you want to have breakfast brought up?"

"Yes, but only if you promise to tell me everything that is discussed. I will be talking to Wynne about some healing spells that can make me well enough to start training, as I still need to go to Orzamar." She looked down at Bryce and said in a soft voice, "You and I also have to think about how we are going to take care of Bryce."

Stoking Siobhan's hair. "_Cariad_, we will figure things out. That I promise you." Gareth then dressed in a pair of simple breeches and a tunic and went downstairs.

* * *

It was early, and Teagan was the only one up when Gareth came to the dining hall. Teagan looked up, seeing it was Gareth, stood up and quickly strode over to him. "Congratulations! Wynne told us the blessed news. How is Siobhan feeling today?"

Gareth smiled and ran his hands through his black mane. "She's tired, but fine. I woke up to her happily nursing Bryce. She is eager to know what is going on and start training and planning."

Teagan faced darkened. "Gareth, get some breakfast and then I'll fill you in."

"I'm not going to like this am I?"

Teagan shook his head. "No."

While Gareth was eating, Zevran, Kess, and Kasch came downstairs. They all offered congratulations and quickly ate their breakfast. Teagan suggested that they meet in his office.

As soon as Teagan closed the door, Gareth, looked at the four men. "Who was he, who sent him, and what was he doing here?"

Zevran began, "He is a spy…"

"…sent by my brother." Teagan interrupted, the anger clear in his voice.

Zevran handed Gareth the piece of parchment Samuel had hidden.

_Destroy any evidence against the Queen and Howe_

_Find Gareth Mac Tir and report location_

_Confirm that Siobhan and Gareth are conspiring to put Loghain on the_ _throne._

_Obtain sample of Siobhan's handwriting, _

Gareth was stunned as he read the list. "The _Arl_ of Redcliffe wants to discredit me, and _my wife_ who saved the lives of him and his family? Aside from my wrath, what does he hope to gain?"

Zevran spoke first, "It seems, my dear Teyrn, that the Arl wants to put our former Templar on the throne."

"Clearly he sees Siobhan and you as standing in his way." Teagan added.

Gareth sat heavily in a chair. "He wants Alistair on the throne because he _thinks_ he can control him and therefore control the throne. I always knew he was a political animal, but this…this is too much. So how was he planning to discredit us?"

"_Amico mio_, I suspect that was the reason for a sample of Siobhan's handwriting, clearly he has some kind of missive he wants to create."

Gareth threw the parchment on the desk, "If he thinks anyone would believe that garbage, then he is insane."

"Remember, Gareth," Teagan began, "Siobhan is taking a big risk by trying to discredit the Queen, and Rendon Howe. Especially Howe, as the massacre of her family put her motives into doubt. Unfortunately, I believe when she confronted Eamon she accidentally let slip that you were alive. As he _believes_ that only Loghain can clear the Cousland name, and as you are Siobhan's husband, he thinks that both of you are actually working _with_ Loghain."

Gareth's expression was pure fury, his voice deep and menacing. "I wouldn't work with _my father_ unless his head was first separated from his shoulders! Do we still have the spy?"

Zevran nodded.

Anger was still driving Gareth. "Then I suggest I take the spy, and this list, and confront Eamon!"

"Confront Eamon about what? Siobhan had come downstairs to see about breakfast and opened the door after she heard the anger in Gareth's voice.

Gareth turned to see his wife standing in the doorway. "Siobhan, what are you doing out of bed?"

Siobhan came all the way into the room and closed the door. "Stretching my legs a bit. At Wynne's suggestion." Looking at the faces of the men around her. "Clearly something dreadful has happened, so why don't you all forget that I gave birth yesterday and tell me what in the void is going on." She sat down on a chair next to Gareth and waited expectantly.

"Siobhan, I don't think getting upset is exactly what Wynne wanted you to do." Gareth said.

Siobhan put her hand on his knee, her eyes held his. "As Commander of the Grey in Ferelden, I _need_ to know what is going on."

Gareth knew he'd have better luck moving a mountain, than changing Siobhan's mind. So he explained what had transpired, Zevran and Teagan filling in parts of the story.

Siobhan hung her head. "I knew that outburst of mine would comeback to haunt me." Looking up at her husband. "It is not safe for you to be here. You need to go back to Ostagar. As soon as possible."

"No, I need to face down Eamon."

"To what end? Would it not just show him that you are the threat he thinks you are?" Siobhan said softly.

Gareth was taken aback by Siobhan's words, and calmed down. "You're right, my love, as much as I want to wring the Arl's aristocratic neck, what we need now is subtlety. Let's leave the idea of my going back to Ostagar out of this, _for now_. Zevran, what would you suggest?"

"I suggest that we have our _sporca spia_ report to the Arl as planned, he will say you are somewhere in southern Ferelden, and that while he could find no direct evidence, he discovered Teagan's journal which indicated that he too is suspicious of Siobhan. My dear Bann, you must visit your brother to voice your concerns, gain his trust and agree to continue to keep and eye on Siobhan. Hopefully we will, as you say, give Eamon 'enough rope to hang himself'"

Teagan continued, "If we discredit Eamon at the Landsmeet as well as Anora, Howe, and Loghain, Gareth can appear and be able to sway the Bannorn to agree on a temporary regent during battle against the Blight."

Gareth nodded. "The Chasind and Rainesfere troops can replace Eamon's soldiers if needs be, but I suspect the _Arl_ will still have his soldiers fight, if only to save his skin and his Arling."

Siobhan looked concerned. "This is a very risky plan. A lot depends upon, controlling, as Zevran put it, our dirty spy. Also we still must find enough evidence against Anora and Howe. That means we need to go to Denerim, which I cannot do without first securing the support of the Dwarves."

Siobhan slowly stood up. "Right now, I need to have some breakfast and tend to our son." Gareth, walked next to her, offering his arm. When they left the office, she looked up at him. "My dearest one, I'm sorry my mouth got us into this mess."

Gareth stopped and turned Siobhan to look at him. "No, you did nothing, save defend a friend's right to choose. This 'mess' is the fault of my father, my sister, and Rendon Howe. Two of the three are _my_ kin. If anyone need apologize it should be me."

Siobhan stroked his cheek and smiled, "You cannot apologize for your father and sister's actions."

Gareth smiled. "Then let there be no apologies between us on this. Neither I am going to hide in Ostagar." Siobhan was going to interrupt, but Gareth put his fingers to her lips. "_Cariad_, we can face anything if we're together. From here on out we are one mind, one spirit, one heart." He replaced his fingers with his lips as he pulled her into his arms.


	39. The Essence of Necessity

******Chapter 38. The Essence of Necessity**

**AN: **This is a short chapter, but hopefully sets several events into motion. Thanks for all who have reviewed, faved, alerted. A special thanks to Shakespira, for her reviews and words of encouragement. Special thanks to my beta extraordinaire - Nithu **  
**

* * *

Gareth came back into Teagan's office. Kess had gone on an errand. Kasch, who had been silent during the meeting, deep in thought, looked at Gareth, Zevran and Teagan. "After that trash sends his report, perhaps it would be wise to, ... _Wie kann man sagen, dass es?..._How do you say it? Tie up the loose ends?"

Zevran smiled. "My friend. I have to admit, that thought also crossed my mind."

Teagan wore a look of concern. "But what if we need him again?"

Gareth's face was grim, when he answered. "No, Zevran and Kasch are right, he becomes a liability if we leave him alive. Zevran, can you convince him that we are going to keep him alive, if he does our bidding?"

"Why do we need to convince him of that?" Teagan asked.

"To motivate him." Gareth and Zevran said in unison.

Gareth's smiled carried no mirth. "Zevran, please retrieve our, _guest_."

* * *

Siobhan finished nursing Bryce and Wynne arrived just as she had put him down for a nap.

"Wynne, can you heal me enough so I can start training tomorrow, and get ready for Orzamar?"

"You are rushing things. You need to wait a couple of weeks before we try that."

Siobhan was insistent. "Wynne, I don't have that kind of time. We need Eamon to call the Landsmeet and he can't do that until I've secured aid from Orzamar against the Blight."

"But _you_ don't have to go. Alistair…"

"Wynne, I am the Commander, it's my duty to see this through. How much can you heal me?"

Wynne sat down, frowning, but thinking. After a few minutes, she looked at Siobhan. "I can heal you, however your body's energies will still have to swing into balance on their own."

"How do you mean?"

"Siobhan, aside from getting bigger, your body went through many changes while you were carrying Bryce. Now that you've given birth, things like your emotions, moods, energy levels, even concentration, will still be adjusting to no longer carrying a child. Healing will not speed up that process."

Siobhan brushed aside that concern. "Can we start today?"

Wynne sighed, "No, I need to prepare. Let us start tomorrow."

* * *

While staying with the Chasind army, Alistair learned how Gareth had brought the tribes together and forged an army that seemed to be the equal of any in Thedas. Alistair knew that the Chantry thought the Chasind to be primitive barbarians, fueling the fear that if the Chasind united, they could threaten Ferelden. He realized this now as pure Chantry dogma, spread because the Chasind were not _Andrastians_. Looking around him, he thought _we could learn a lot from these people. _

In addition to Fergus and Aya, Alistair had spent a time with Udell. There was something about the wizened man that drew him in. It wasn't anything that Alistair could articulate, just a feeling that he should seek him out and get to know him.

Udell was more than happy to spend time with the young Grey Warden and teach him about Chasind culture. Alistair was fascinated by their spirit journeys, asking Udell what they were like.

"Come, Alistair, let me help you experience some of what we do."

They sat in Udell's tent. Devdan was summoned. Udell took out the drum and placed several oil-saturated sticks, into a metal bowl, and then lit them. The smell of sage oil and something Alistair couldn't identify began to permeate the tent. He found it soothing, and felt a little sleepy. Udell had Alistair get into a comfortable position, and taught him how to focus on his breathing and concentrate on the sound of the drum. Udell sat next to Alistair, and nodded to Devdan, who began to beat the drum in a steady rhythm. After few minutes he began to slow down the beats.

Alistair woke up in a place that looked nothing like the fade. He felt unsteady, like he was going to fall.

"You have tremendous mental fortitude Alistair, most people do not make it here on their first attempt."

Alistair couldn't see Udell. "Udell, where are you? Where are _we_?"

Again he heard Udell's voice. "This is what we call _Der reich des wesentlichen. _ Roughly translated means the realm of essence."

"How is that different from the Fade?"

"Look at your hands."

Alistair looked, but could see _no_ part of his body, he could feel himself, but it was like he wasn't there.

"How can I be here, and _not_ be here?"

"Because this realm only contains the _essence_ of who you are. It is a realm that is…_abstract_. Look around you; tell me what you see?"

Alistair looked around; there were distinct areas of light and blackness, swirling pools of what looked like pure energy. Nothing that looked _solid_. At the same time if he squinted, he could see the vague shadows of Ostagar and the Wilds, as if this realm were superimposed upon it.

"What are the black areas off in the distance?"

"What do they feeling like?"

It didn't take Alistair but a heart beat to answer. "Darkspawn."

"Correct."

Alarm sounded in Alistair's voice. "Can they sense me?"

"No. Darkspawn are not able to navigate this realm. Here, they are blind. Come. Let us move on. Do you see that blue-green mist ahead?"

"Yes."

"Focus on it and think about being directly in front of it."

Alistair found himself in front of the mist. "What is this?"

"This is our camp."

"How do you know?"

"Alistair, close you eyes and use your other senses."

After a few moments, "I can hear voices, I recognize Fergus!"

"Good. What do you _smell_?"

"Campfire, food, it all _feels_ peaceful. Can you find others in this realm?"

"Yes, you have to be familiar with their particular essence, and that takes time, practice, and skill."

"Can the Archdemon exist in this realm?"

"No, not while it's essence is tainted. You would sense it as you did the darkspawn, though it would leave a larger, darker essence, but it cannot sense you." After a long pause, "Alistair, do you know how the Grey Wardens kill an Archdemon?"

"No, there is a lot about the Wardens that Duncan didn't have time to tell me."

"Then let us go back to my tent. There are many things you need to know."

* * *

Aya and Morrigan were walking around the camp. Aya was curious about Fergus' sister, and asked Morrigan what she knew about Siobhan.

"She is…compassionate, kind, strong, and _far_ too trusting."

"By that you mean that she trusts _you_?"

Morrigan stopped. "Aya, I _was_ careless when I practiced, but I never believed my mother would find me. When she did, I tried to keep the truth from her." Morrigan looked away. "Flemeth can be…difficult to refuse."

Because of the stone, Aya could sense the pain in Morrigan's memories. "Morrigan, did Flemeth…hurt you to get the information?"

Morrigan merely nodded, then proceed to walk at a swift pace.

"Morrigan! Stop. Please."

Morrigan gave an exasperated sigh. " 'Tis pointless to keep dredging up the past. Clearly, you have cast me in the role of villain, years ago."

Aya's embarrassment and shame were clear to see, but Morrigan also felt it. "Morrigan, I…I'm sorry for blaming you. It was your Mother's choice to attack my family. I'm sorry you were hurt trying to protect us. I have spent many years thinking that you willingly gave us up. It wasn't until I felt the pain and truth in your voice, that I found out how wrong I was."

* * *

Fergus was sitting near the center of camp writing a note; eager for news from Rainesfere. He planned to use one of the carrier birds they had brought.

_Gareth and Siobhan,_

_I hope this finds you well and safe. I hope that if Siobhan has given birth, that my niece, or nephew, is well too._

_Things at camp are quiet. Alistair believes that the Darkspawn have moved on, so may I suggest we move the army to you; perhaps they can train with the other fighters?  
Aya is well, as is Udell. I look forward to the day they both meet Siobhan._

_Make sure you tease my sister for me; I would have loved to see her waddle like duck!_

_Yours,  
Fergus_


	40. Good Knight Bad Monster

**Chapter 39 – Good Knight. Bad Monster  
**

**AN:** _Thank you to all who lurked, faved, and have this on their alert. Special thank you to Shakespira for her continuing reviews and to Nithu, my wonderful beta._

* * *

Gareth was seated in the study, as Zevran brought in Samuel. The spy was looking distinctly worse for wear, and was clearly terrified of Zevran.

Gareth summoned a servant and instructed them to draw a bath and find some clean clothes for their guest. Smiling at Samuel's confusion, he stood up and waved off Zevran, his voice rich with affability and command. "Samuel, you must excuse Zevran, he can be somewhat…_ruthless_ in his questioning. I hadn't realized how ruthless he had been with you. As soon as I found out I summoned a healer. After your bath and change of clothes, let us have lunch and you and I discuss your future." Nodding to Kasch, who escorted Samuel to his bath.

After Samuel was out of hearing, Zevran, with a wide smile, looked at Gareth. "My dear Teyrn that was well played! So I am to be the nightmare from which you will grant our spy his deliverance, yes?"

Gareth returned the smile. "I need him to trust me. You need continue to play monster to my knight."

Lunch was being laid in the dinning hall when Kasch returned with Samuel. The spy looked around the dining room for Zevran. Gareth took note of this. "It's safe. I have ordered Zevran away. This lunch will be just the two of us. Come. Sit. You must be starving. Also the ale is quite good."

Kasch guarded the door, leaving the Teyrn and the spy alone in the dinning room.

Samuel looked at Gareth, clearly sizing up both the man and his own situation. _Maker, the food smells wonderful. _Hunger won out and Samuel sat across from Gareth.

Samuel was cautious taking small nibbles, clearly worried about poison.

"Samuel, why would I poison you after provide healing, a bath and clothing?" Gareth chuckled. "Worry not, Zevran didn't come near your food or ale."

Samuel relaxed a bit and began to eat, quickly quaffing his drink.

They ate and drank in silence, once Samuel seemed to have appeased his appetite; Gareth stretched and looked at the spy. "So, how long have you been employed with Arl Eamon?"

Samuel was just starting his second ale. "Three years, My Lord. Mostly spying on his brother, the Arlessa, and any visitors to Redcliffe."

Gareth's tone was nonchalant. "It seems the dear Arl is getting a bit paranoid in his old age. How do you like the work?"

Samuel shrugged. "It pays good coin."

"Indeed. Is that all that has kept you in the Arl's service?"

Samuel frowned. "As long as I was paid, I worked for the Arl."

Gareth stroked his beard. "I have a proposition, if you will?"

Samuel nodded.

Gareth leaned across the table. "The Arl has some _interesting_ ideas regarding me and my wife. I would like to disabuse him of these, but as you know, the Arl can be like a mabari with a bone."

Samuel smiled at the image. "You know the Arl well."

"So I am left with subterfuge and subtlety. Something, I _clearly_ cannot do." Gareth's self-deprecating humor relaxed Samuel even further.

"What of…Zevran?"

Gareth was dismissive. "Zevran, for all his skills, is not much of a spy. He is an assassin, plain and simple." Smiling, he said, "You, on the other hand, have caught the attention of Arl Eamon, a man who is known to only pay for _talent_."

Samuel preened a bit at the implied complement.

"That brings us to the business which brought you here. Clearly, I want to make sure the Arl pays you what is due, but I would like to _provide_ the information you are to deliver.

Samuel rubbed his chin. _How can I work this in my favor? Clearly there is no love lost between these men. Can I play them both?_

As if Gareth could read his mind, he said, "Don't even think about playing us both. Zevran takes his oath of loyalty very seriously, which means I can keep him leashed, _for the most part._ But if you cross me, I fear I would not be able to _contain_ Zevran."

An involuntary shiver ran up Samuel's spine as memories of the interrogation filled his mind.

"What I am proposing is a way to extricate yourself from your current employer, and work for me. I promise you, the coin is much better."

"How do I know that you won't cross _me_?" Samuel asked.

Gareth's voice was low and sure. "Samuel, I am the Teyrn of Gwaren. Would I disgrace my own _father_, the Hero of River Dane, in such a fashion?"

Gareth's personal charisma, and logic won the day. Samuel stood up and held out his hand. "I am please to be in your employ."

Kasch entered just before Gareth was to shake Samuel's hand. "My Lord, you wife has urgent need of you!"

Gareth patted Samuel on the back. "I shall return soon, please enjoy more ale. Kasch when he is ready, please show Samuel to his room."

Gareth went upstairs to Teagan's room, where het met up with Zevran and Teagan.

Zevran, who had heard the entire conversation, chuckled. "My devious Teyrn, that was a masterful performance."

Gareth frowned as he ran his hand through his hair. "I admit to feeling somewhat ill for lying like that."

Zevran put his hand on Gareth's shoulder. "You did what had to be done."

Teagan agreed. "Gareth, we need to bring down my brother. This is our best way of doing that."

Gareth nodded, still looking troubled. "If you excuse me, I'm going to check in on my wife and son."

Once Gareth left, Teagan looked at Zevran. "The Maker knew what he was doing when he put Gareth together."

Zevran smiled, leering at Teagan. "Speaking of men who are _put together_…"

Teagan looked at Zevran, and chuckled. "You never stop, do you?"

"I'm afraid not, my handsome Bann."

* * *

On his way to their room, Wynne, concern and frustration on her face, stopped Gareth in the hall.

"Gareth, please talk some sense into Siobhan."

Gareth leaned against the wall, his arms crossed. "She asked for healing so she can train."

Wynne could tell that this was a statement not a question. "She _told_ you, and you didn't talk her out of it!" Wynne was clearly angry.

Gareth looked a little sheepish. "Well, she said she was going to talk to you about it. Honestly, I had hoped it couldn't be done and that would be the end of it. I take it that isn't the case?"

"Gareth, her body needs time, healing can speed it along, but it should not be done at the pace Siobhan seems to want."

Gareth sighed. "You're right Wynne. I know that. But I also understand _why_ Siobhan wants to get moving again. The Blight isn't going to end by itself, and neither will this civil war my father has brought about. Let me talk with Siobhan and see if we can reach some middle ground."

Wynne face softened. "It is a rare thing for a husband to give his wife respect as a warrior."

Gareth smiled. "She will always be my battle maiden."

* * *

Gareth had just reached their room, when Teagan intercepted him with a message that recently arrived via carrier bird.

Gareth read the note and smiled. Looking at Teagan. "Fergus suggests moving the Chasind army here to begin working with your men."

Teagan thought about it. "Eamon will know that you're here."

Gareth nodded. "It may force his hand. Bann Teagan, I ask for permission to have the Chasind army lodge here."

"Permission happily granted Teyrn Gareth. Now, go see your wife and son."

Bryce was sleeping and Siobhan was pacing. She looked up when Gareth entered the room. "I take it you ran into Wynne?"

Gareth sat on the bed and patted the space next to him. "_Cariad_, sit. Let's talk."

Siobhan sat next to Gareth who put his arm around her. "I received a note from Fergus. Apparently the Darkspawn have moved away, and he wondered if we should move the army up here. I think it's a sound idea, but I want to know what do you think."

Siobhan turned towards her husband. "That puts you very close to Eamon. Leaving that out for the moment, it does solve the problem of you going back to Ostagar, and it would be helpful to integrate the Chasind and Fereldan fighters."

"That was my thinking too. It will take a week or so for them to get here, so you couldn't possibly leave for Orzamar before they arrive." Looking into her eyes. "And, it would give you some additional time to heal."

Siobhan sighed and smiled. "One week, then Wynne heals me and I train."

Gareth chuckled. "Deal…who gets to break it to Wynne?"

At that moment, Bryce started to cry. Siobhan picked him up and looked at Gareth. "Bryce needs his lunch, and unless you have suddenly grown breasts, that leaves you to tell Wynne."

"Cheeky wench! Wait until I can get my hands on you."

"Well, that _would_ be another reason for Wynne to heal me sooner."

Gareth, his hand softly resting on her back, whispered in her ear.

Siobhan blushed from head to toe.

* * *

Gareth and Samuel were in the study with Teagan. Samuel waited for his instructions.

Handing the spy a page from a journal, Teagan looked at Samuel. "You will copy this now. Tell Eamon that it is a page from my journal, it shows that I am beginning to suspect Siobhan and Gareth."

Gareth picked up where Teagan left off. "You will also inform Eamon that I will be arriving at Rainesfere within the week."

"What about the sample of your wife's handwriting, My Lord?"

Gareth looked thoughtful. "Would Eamon have you create whatever forged document he is planning?

"Yes. I have done that for him on many occasions, Sire." Upon hearing this Teagan quietly fumed.

Gareth leaned forward. "Tell him that you didn't have an opportunity to find a sample, but that you think that if you came back with the document to be forged, that you would have a better opportunity find a sample and create the document quickly."

Teagan continued. "As for the last item, you did not find any evidence against Queen Anora and Rendon Howe to destroy."

"Basically I will have the journal entry and news that Teyrn Mac Tir will be here within a week. That should satisfy the old man."

Teagan urged. "It is essential that the document you get from Eamon is in his handwriting."

Samuel smiled. "If not, I _can_ forge the Arl's handwriting. I learned that in case I ever needed…insurance."

Gareth chuckled. "Alright, my friend, when and where do you need to meet with the Arl?"


	41. Time to keep silence & a time to speak

**Chapter 40. ****Time to keep silence, and a time to speak***

**AN:** Thank you to all who have been reading, reviewing, and following this story.

A special thanks to Shakespira for her continued support and, of course, to Nithu, my awesome beta.

* * *

~Knowledge of what is does not open the door directly to what should be~

Albert Einstein

Alistair opened his eyes, and quickly looked around. He was still sitting in Udell's tent and Udell was sitting next to him. The older man turned towards Alistair and looked into his eyes, as if he looking for something. After a few moments, Udell smiled and stood up. "Would you like something to drink, Alistair?"

Alistair was about to decline, when he suddenly felt very thirsty. "Yes, please."

Udell dismissed Devdan and sat down next to Alistair. "This is a flavored water, it usually helps clear the mind after such a visit."

Alistair ran his hand through his hair, took the drink and quickly quaffed it, coughing as the liquid burned going down his throat. Udell laughed. "I suppose I should have told you to _sip_ it. Are you alright?"

"I'm…I'm…fine." Alistair said between coughs. Clearing his throat, he looked at Udell. "How much do you know about the Grey Wardens and how did you find out?"

Without a word, Udell went to a trunk and pulled out a small satchel. He held it to his chest and stood still and silent before returning to Alistair.

Udell opened the satchel. The first thing he pulled out was a piece of parchment; it was worn as if it had been read and re-read. He showed it to Alistair, while it was not in Fereldan, three words needed no translation: Weisshaupt and Grey Wardens.

He handed it back to Udell, Alistair's curiosity bordered on suspense.

Udell translated as he read.

_Dearest Anmut,_

_How I miss you. I never wanted to leave so soon after Udell was born, but this was a summons I could not ignore._

_You will be pleased to know that the journey to Weisshaupt, while long, was without incident. It is strange to be among the Grey Wardens again, it reminds me of all the reasons I left. The brothers here carry themselves with such a superior attitude that they make the Orlesian wardens seem humble._

_I hope this issue will be easy to resolve. If not, then please do not raise Udell with any illusions about the Order; I want him to know all that I have shared with you. I __**never**__ want him to follow in my footsteps._

_I have left you my amulet; please give it to Elder Adlerauge so he can look into the blood contained therein. Many a time has he asked after it, wanting to unlock its 'secrets.'_

_I will write more after I have met with the First._

_I give you all my love and honor,  
Ewan  
_

Udell finished and refolded the parchment. "My father never returned."

The shock Alistair felt was clear on his face and in his voice. "Your father was a Grey Warden?"

Udell nodded, then took out the amulet and handed it to Alistair. "Yes, my father was born in Hossberg, in the Anderfels; he was a mage and when he was just a lad of sixteen, he was caught using magic to defend his sister from bandits. He was about to be taken into custody when a Grey Warden, who had watched the event unfold, conscripted him. My father was sent to Jader. He was with the order for six years when he had enough and walked away. Knowing that Order of the Grey had been exiled from Ferelden, he decided to come here, even though it was under the control of Orlais at the time. He tried to go as far south as possible, traveling by sea. In the Amaranthine Ocean, the ship he was on hit some rocks and sank. My father washed up near Gwaren, broken, bruised and cold. By chance he happened upon a man name Gareth Mac Tir…"

"Loghain's father?"

"Yes, it was Loghain's father who helped my father, brought him to his farm, where Gareth and his wife took care of him until he was well enough to travel. Given the unrest in Ferelden, Gareth suggested going to the Korcari wilds. Gareth had traded with our tribe once or twice and suggested that he come here. When Elder Adlerauge found out that Mac Tir had sent him to them, the Elder welcome him to the tribe. This began a friendship between the Ywen tribe and the Mac Tir family. When Teyrn Loghain Mac Tir heard about the massacre of my wife's family, he helped us hunt down the tribe responsible and exact revenge.

" My father married my mother, and aside from this summons to Weisshaupt, he never served the wardens again. Now you know the depth of my knowledge about the Grey Wardens, which includes how they kill an Archdemon."

Alistair was speechless. He realized he was staring, and started. "Does Gareth know about this?

Udell shook his head. "No, I know that his father taught him about our lands and culture, but I don't think he ever mentioned anything. I haven't told Gareth, as it would involve telling him that my father was a Grey Warden. When my mother told me all she knew about the Wardens, she swore me to secrecy. Mother could not have foreseen the situation we are in now, and _you_ need to know this information.

"Wow…I…I… don't know what to say. I'm surprised you don't hate the Wardens."

Udell smiled, his eyes twinkled. "I understand what motivates the wardens and know that their sacrifices are great. Would you like me to tell you about the Archdemon, or have I shocked you too much for one day?"

"Well…uh…no… I mean I'm shocked but…please continue."

"When an Archdemon is defeated, it soul or essence is drawn to the taint. If a non-tainted being defeats the Archdemon, the Demons' essence would simply seek out the nearest darkspawn. As the dark ones are soulless…"

"The Archdemon would live on?"

Udell nodded. "However, when a Grey Warden deals the death blow to the Archdemon, its soul will be drawn to the Warden, the the nearest tainted being."

Alistair's eyebrows narrowed. "But _we_ are not soulless."

"Precisely, two souls cannot occupy the same body and both souls are destroyed."

Alistair took a deep, shaky breath. Then he squared his shoulders and looked at Udell. "Then I must deal the final blow."

"Alistair, please, now is not the time to choose suicide. What I have told you is only, the beginning."

* * *

* "Turn, Turn, Turn" by the Byrds


	42. Honor

**Chapter 41 Honor**

* * *

**AN: ** Thanks to everyone for their continued support and reviews. A special thank you to Shakespira for her reviews and general awesomeness. All the thanks in the world to my wonderful, patient beta, Nithu.

* * *

Samuel wasn't to deliver the information to Arl Eamon until tomorrow; in the meantime, he stayed as a guest at the Rainesfere estate. Samuel acted like any good guest; he was polite and helpful. He knew he was being watched at all times, but his actions seemed very genuine. Other than looking terrified at the mere mention of Zevran, he seemed at ease, even happy.

Gareth sat on a bench in estate gardens, lost in thought. _Clearly, our plan worked; Samuel seems to have believed all that I said, just as we planned. So, why does it make me feel miserable? _Ever since his meeting with Samuel, Gareth had felt uncomfortable, unclean. He kept telling himself, _don't second-guess yourself; Samuel is a loose end and therefore a threat. _

He remembered a talk he had with his father after a particularly difficult session of court in Gwaren. Bann Steffan Dyfnallt had refused to contribute his share of wheat to the emergency communal stores. The Bann had a large family and felt that because all was well in the Teyrnir, and the stores were full, that missing a year would do no harm. Loghain disagreed, and took away part of his land. Gareth questioned his father after court.

"_Da, Bann Steffan was right the stores __**are**__ full. He is a good Bann, a kind man; couldn't you have made and exception?"_

"_No, son. The communal grain supplies are there for emergency purposes. If one Bann decides to withhold his contribution, what stops the others from following suit? Do I feel good punishing a good man? No, I do not, but I do it because that is what is best for the __**Teyrnir**__."_

"Copper for your thoughts, milord."

Gareth started and looked up at Siobhan; she saw the concern on his face and sat down next to him. "Dearest one, what's troubling you?"

Gareth stretched his long legs and turned towards his wife. "Have you ever made a command decision that was for the _right_ reasons, but upon reflection you felt so awful about it that you second guessed your decision?"

Siobhan thought for a moment. "I've second guessed decisions, yes. Every leader does. You're upset about your decision regarding Samuel, aren't you?"

"You know me too well, _cariad_. Where is Samuel by the way?"

"He's in the dinning hall playing wicked grace with Kasch and Donnelly; so if we speak softly no one should hear."

Gareth looked around, and then leaned toward Siobhan. "I made him feel like he could _trust_ me, that hewas going to have a better life working for me. When in reality, he is a loose end that I need to eliminate…but that just feels evil."

Siobhan stood up, went behind Gareth to message his shoulders. "Dearest one, there is a difference between second guessing yourself and actively thinking you made the wrong decision. Is Samuel that much of a threat?"

Gareth hung his head as Siobhan's fingers soothed his mussels. "_Cariad_, if you had asked me that before I met with him, I would say, yes, unequivocally. _After_ I met with him though, my gut told me something very different. I see value in having Samuel continue working for us. I cannot place my finger on it, but I also see something valuable _in him_."

"Do you think you can trust him?"

"Yes. Very much so, actually."

Siobhan continued to message his shoulders. "Can we minimize any danger he poses to us?"

"With Zevran and Leliana around, probably."

"Gareth, you of all people know that being a commander it isn't all emotionless logic, your gut instinct has value. _Especially_ yours." She sat back next to him and put her hand in his. "You know what to do, you just have to do it."

"Have I told you lately, that I am the luckiest man in Thedas?"

Siobhan smiled. "Yes, but don't let that stop you."

* * *

Fergus had read Gareth's note and called for Adler, Alistair, and Udell to meet with him.

Alistair and Udell arrived together, the young warden looked as if a weight had been placed on his shoulders. He didn't look upset or unhappy; he just looked burdened.

When everyone was assembled, Fergus held up Gareth's note. "Given the lack of darkspawn activity, I suggested to Gareth that we move the army to Rainesfere where we can reunite with Gareth and work with the Fereldan soldiers. Gareth agreed, _provided_ that the four of us agree. Adler, what are your thoughts?"

Alder, surprisingly, responded without blinking. "We _should_ move to Rainesfere It is important for our warriors to work with their warriors, understand each other before going into a large battle."

Alistair smiled. "I agree as well. Siobhan and I still have to meet with the dwarves in Orzamar to enlist their help against the Blight."

Udell also saw no down side to the move.

Fergus looked at Adler. "How quickly can we muster?"

Adler smiled. "Just tell me when you want to leave."

* * *

Gareth and Siobhan met with Kasch, Teagan and Zevran. Gareth explained what he felt and what he thought about the situation with Samuel.

"I cannot order him killed. I really think that we have use for him, beyond this assignment, and frankly, I feel that killing him would be wrong."

Teagan looked concerned. "Gareth, didn't you say he could pose a real danger to us?"

Gareth simply nodded.

Zevran placed his hand on Teagan's shoulder. "My dear Bann. I believe that Gareth's little chat with our spy had far more impact on Samuel that we thought. A tribute to you, my wily Teyrn." Zevran smiled widely.

"Zevran, I am relying on you to keep a close eye on him."

Zevran's face and eyes became as stone and ice, voice terrifying calm. "If he steps but a toe out of line, he will be dead before he can take his next breath"

Kasch looked at Gareth. "_Kommandant, _I was never comfortable with this…_betrug_…sorry, deception. I should not have worried, you continue to act with honor because that is your nature."

Gareth smiled wryly. "Thank you, Kasch. Zevran, I'm glad you agree. Teagan?"

"I have to agree, as well."

Gareth looked at his wife with a tender smile. "Thank you, my most trusted advisor."

* * *

Wynne had ordered Siobhan back to bed for a few days, following a fainting spell shortly before dinner. Wynne turned to Gareth, "I _need_ your support on this. She has been entirely too active for someone who has recently given birth."

"Aside from tying her to the bed, I don't know that I can keep her there. Does it have to be bed rest or is it really that she shouldn't exert herself?"

"Bed rest would prevent her from getting involved in current events…but you're right, that _would_ be impossible. What do you suggest?

"Most of the activity happens in the library or dinning hall, but Teagan has a family room, that is virtually unused. Perhaps if we set things up for her in there, including Bryce's cradle, and that room can be her daytime rest area. If there are things that need to be discussed, we just use that room. Would that do?"

Wynne sighed, then smiled. "Yes, that would."

It didn't take long to arrange things in the family room. In fact, Teagan was glad to finally be able to make use of the room. Siobhan thought it was a great idea as she was tired of walking up and down the steps. When Gareth jokingly suggested that she could just stay upstairs in the bedroom, Siobhan arched and eyebrow. "You would have to tie me to the bed…then again…"

"Saucy wench."

* * *

At the appointed time, Samuel went to a remote area between Redcliffe and Rainesfere, where he always met the Arl. It was dawn, and the Arl was waiting for him. As was typical, the Arl wore plain clothes and cloak.

The hooded cloak hid his face, but the voice was unmistakable. "You have what I requested?"

Samuel handed the information to the Arl. Eamon read over the journal entry and the news that Gareth was at Rainesfere. "There was no evidence to destroy, no sample of her handwriting?"

"No, My Lord." Remembering Gareth's instructions. "Given that the Warden had just given birth, I didn't have an opportunity to find a sample, but I'm sure that if I came back with whatever you need to _have_ in her handwriting, I would have a better chance to find a sample and create the document quickly, before anyone can notice it missing."

The Arl thought for moment. "Yes, I suppose the birth would have created chaos. If you think you can do this, then meet me at the same time tomorrow and I will have what needs to be copied. In the meantime, I will invite Teagan to Redcliffe; perhaps he will reveal the suspicions he obviously has. Good job, Samuel." The Arl handed Samuel a small bag of coin, turned and left.

Samuel went to where Kasch was waiting and together they went back to Rainesfere.

Zevran put away his blades and throwing knife, then stepped from the shadows, a mere five feet from where Samuel met with the Arl. "It seems Gareth may be right about our spy."

Samuel met with Gareth and Teagan after his meeting with the Arl.

Your grace, the Arl seemed to believe me about giving me what he would like to have forged. I will be getting it from him tomorrow morning. My Lord Bann, your brother mentioned that he would be inviting you to Redcliffe to talk about your suspicions."

"Perfect, I was thinking that if I requested the audience, it might seem suspicious."

* * *

Connor had missed Siobhan and he was fascinated with Bryce. He visited Siobhan and the baby often, even watched when Siobhan changed Bryce's diaper. Siobhan even let him hold the baby while sitting in a chair. She would only shoo him out of the room when she needed to feed Bryce.

Wynne kept a careful eye on Connor and began tutoring him. This was in addition to visiting with Siobhan and the baby, his lessons with Zevran, and his talks with Gareth about the Chasind. Connor quite busy, and to Siobhan it was exciting to see him blossom. He was starting to accept his magic and looked forward to going to the Circle. Siobhan worried about sending him back to Redcliffe, but so far the Arl and Arlessa were perfectly happy that he was here, the Arlessa especially.

Gareth and Siobhan were in bed, Siobhan had her head on Gareth's shoulder, and Bryce was asleep, having recently fed. Gareth ran his hand gently on her shoulder. "Wait until the Chasind arrive, that will be an eye opening experience for Connor and for Rainesfere."

Siobhan smiled. "I cannot wait to see Fergus, _and_ meet Aya. For at least a little while, I will all of my family under one roof." Like the snuffing out of a candle, Siobhan's expression changed to worry. "Will you be ok here with Bryce?"

"Actually, I was thinking about that; we should hire a wet nurse then Bryce could stay here with Teagan and Connor, while we go to Orzamar."

Siobhan arched and eyebrow. "We?"

"Yes, we. I am _not_ going to be parted from you again, if I can help it, full stop."

Siobhan snuggled against him. "But what about Bryce? You should be _here_."

"_Cariad_, he is but a wee one. He will be fed and well cared for, and Connor and Teagan will enjoy helping us. Bryce will be alright for the short time we will be in Orzamar."

"Speaking about Orzamar, I need to talk to you about when I am going through the Joining."

Rolling over to face Siobhan, Gareth brushed her hair back. "That discussion, my dearest lady, needs to wait until Alistair is here."

"What discussion? That was always the plan."

"I know, but I would be happier talking about this when Alistair is present. Please, _cariad_, the joining will change our lives, give me a chance to speak with Alistair, that's all I ask."

Siobhan nodded looking into Gareth's blue eyes, after a few moments, he pulled Siobhan in for a kiss, enfolding her in his arms. Their kiss, tender at first, quickly became passionate. Gareth pulled away. "My Lady, we need to stop, you are not yet healed."

Siobhan smiled. "True, but there is still something I can do for _you_."

In a few moments, Gareth was moaning with pleasure.


	43. On the Precipice of Change

**Chapter 42. On the Precipice of Change**

**AN**: Borrowing from Flemeth for the title. This chapter may jump around a bit, but it is to set up for the next couple of chapters, which will take us into Orzamar and ready for the Landsmeet.

Thank you to all those who follow this story, to Shakespira for her continue reviews and support, and to my beta-extraordinaire, Nithu

* * *

Samuel returned after his second meeting with Arl Eamon. Siobhan, Teagan, and Gareth were in the family room when Samuel handed Siobhan the document to be copied.

_L_

_Landsmeet is going forward. The "Templar" is being put forward as King, as you thought. I will ensure that our mutual enemy no longer a problem. When the throne is yours, I expect you to honor our agreement._

_S_

Siobhan put down the note in shock. "I knew he wanted to discredit me, but this is madness. How does he reconcile this to us having saved his life?"

Teagan shrugged. "The only thing I can think of is that Eamon is consumed by the idea of putting Alistair on the throne. When he threatened to support Anora if Alistair refused, he saw Alistair's reaction. You are the one Eamon sees as standing in his way. Additionally, he cannot use that threat if Anora is _actually_ guilty, as you claim. So he has Samuel destroy any evidence you may have, and tries to tie you to Loghain in a plot to discredit Eamon. My guess is that this note would be left somewhere where Alistair would 'happen upon it.' "

Siobhan looked sick. "Given Alistair's feeling toward Loghain and Eamon. Eamon figures that Alistair will push me away and Eamon will be sitting there with open arms."

Gareth was shocked. "That is not the Eamon I remember. What's happened to him?"

Teagan shook his head. "I think that the situation with Connor, Redcliffe, Cailan's death and the Blight, has sent him into some kind of blind panic."

"This whole thing is madness. I should have left the bastard in a coma." Watching Teagan stiffen. Siobhan looked at him. "I'm sorry Teagan, I'm just upset and frustrated. I would never have left Eamon like that even if I _had_ known he was going to do this."

Teagan's face relaxed and he smiled. "I know."

Just then, Sela looked in the room and met Siobhan's eyes. "My Lady, the young one is awake and hungry, do you want me to bring him down?"

"No Sela, I'll go up; I need to stretch my legs."

After Bryce had finished nursing,Siobhan burped and changed him, then laid him on the bed and started playing with his feet and hands as the baby wriggled. Siobhan smiled and cooed, "Well, my wee man, it seems as you will have your Da's eyes after all."

Playing with Bryce allowed Siobhan to get some perspective. _The Blight is the focus. If we fail at that, nothing else will matter. It is my duty to see this through, and I will be void-bound before I see Eamon interfere. _Kissing and cuddling her son, she put him the cradle and put on her Dalish armor. She no longer needed the placard across the stomach, so the armor fit much better. She pulled a couple of vials out of her rucksack, one she drank the rest she placed in her belt pouch. After arranging for Sela to watch Bryce, Siobhan walked downstairs.

The men were still in the family room when Siobhan arrived. Gareth saw her, his brows knit. "Siobhan?"

"Gentlemen, I have come to a decision. This mess with Eamon is interfering with fighting the Blight. The Blight comes first, and I cannot have Eamon stirring yet another pot. I _need_ his army committed to the fight. I _need_ to go to Redcliffe and make him realize that we are on the _same side._ I know we had all agreed to trap Eamon in his own game, but frankly, I don't have the time, energy or inclination. I want him to stop this madness and focus on the Blight, and accept that Alistair _will no_t take the throne."

The tilt of Siobhan's jaw and the fire in her eyes brooked no interference. "It's bad enough that we have to contend with this bloody civil war!"

Her fury had silenced Teagan and Samuel. Gareth, however, his voice low and calm, walked over to her. "Siobhan, _cariad_, I understand _and_ I agree with you. But you're still healing. Sit down, and let us discuss this and figure out a way to approach him."

"I have done nothing but think. We all have done nothing but talk. The Blight has to take priority because if I fail…if I fail… then I have brought our baby into the last days of Thedas. " Her voice became a hoarse whisper. "As Warden Commander, I cannot let that happen. This. Ends. Now."

Gareth nodded. "I will not prevent you from doing your duty as Warden Commander. However, I _can_ accompany you."

"Contrary to what you all may think, I don't need a chaperone. I've taken a health potion and I'm carrying several more."

"I am not going as your _chaperone_, my love, I am going as the rightful Teyrn of Gwaren."

The anger drained out of her. Her voice calm as she looked at Gareth. "That means a lot, to me and to the Wardens."

"Sit, _cariad_; I will get ready."

Teagan ran his hand through his hair. "This is a risky course of action. What if you are unable to convince Eamon?

Siobhan turned to the Bann. "Then at least he knows we're on to him...Samuel, this will expose you, but you're with us now, and _we_ look out for our own."

Zevran appeared from the shadows and stood next to them. "_Amico mios_, do not think you are going without protection."

Samuel stood with Zevran, his fear of the Assassin still evident. "We… we…will both escort you"

Teagan stood tall. "The Bann of Rainesfere will also attend this meeting."

Siobhan looked around. "You all are a credit to what is best in Thedas; you have my thanks as well as the thanks of the Wardens."

* * *

His conversation with Udell, weighed heavily on Alistair's mind. That, somehow, Morrigan was involved in this made his blood boil. Even though Udell assured him that Morrigan feels deeply for Siobhan, and will tell her everything when they get to Rainesfere. Alistair was also angry with Duncan for not sharing this important bit of information about the Archdemon. _I was a Warden for six months, he knew the Blight was coming; he should have __**made**__ the time to tell me. _ At the same time he desperately wished Duncan were here for guidance. Alistair had told Udell about his own desires for post-Blight Ferelden. All Udell did was smile knowingly.

In another development, several of the Chasind had approached Alistair wanting to learn about the Grey Wardens. Alistair first thought it was just curiosity, but then realized that they were actually interested in _becoming_ Grey Wardens. Alistair knew he promised Duncan not to recruit. He hoped that if he survived the blight, he could meet with the Wardens in Jader; He would ask their help to recruit, so he could build up what was lost in Ostagar.

He really needed to talk to Siobhan and was glad that they were headed to Rainesfere now, without further delay.

As they were traveling, Fergus caught up to Alistair. "So, my friend, what troubles you? Your shoulders seemed to have gained additional weight."

Alistair smiled. "You are just like your sister. Nothing misses her attention either. Let's just say that being a Grey Warden became more complicated."

Fergus arched his eyebrow. "I know the Wardens have their secrets, but if there is anything I can do to ease your burden, let me know."

Alistair looked at Fergus, he had only just met the man and he already felt as comfortable around him as he did with Siobhan. Alistair smiled. "You are so much like your sister, it's scary."

"Yes, but she looks far better in a dress than I." Fergus laughed.

* * *

Eamon was in his study. Isolde was in the Chantry, as she spent every day now. Eamon's manservant came into his study.

"My Lord, you have visitors."

"I'm not expecting anyone. Who are they?"

"They said to say that, 'The Warden Commander, the Bann of Rainesfere, and the Teyrn of Gwaren, request an emergency audience with the Arl of Redcliffe.' "

Eamon could not hide the shock in face fast enough. His manservant was worried. "My Lord, I…I'm sorry to have disturbed you. Should I tell them to come back?"

No, no, Arlan. You did the right thing. Please show them into the audience chambers. Tell them than I will be there when I'm ready."

Arlan nodded and left to deliver the message.

Eamon sat in his chair. _That they arrived and gave their titles is interesting. Perhaps they're formally asking for my assistance, or perhaps something has happened to Alistair. Maker, I hope it's not that! _Then it occurred to him. _ Perhaps they caught Samuel._ Eamon stood up, straighten his doublet, took a deep breath and went to greet his guests.

* * *

Morrigan was deep in thought as they traveled to Rainesfere. _What had happened with Udell and Aya was an enlightening experience, to say the least. I feel as if everything I thought I knew is wrong somehow. Yet, not everything Flemeth taught me was a lie. I have to tell Siobhan when we get back. _ Morrigan sighed. _I may even have to tell the half-wit Templar._

* * *

During a travel break, Aya and Fergus sat next to each other while they ate.

"I am very excited about meeting your sister. Are you sure she'll like me?"

Fergus laughed. "Like you? She'll love you. I bet within hours you both will be teaming up on me. She teases me like you do."

Aya arched an eyebrow. "_Just_ like I do?"

Fergus blushed. "No, not quite. Then again, we will finally have a bed and some privacy. Perhaps this teasing can come to an end."

Aya smiled. "I will always _tease_ you, _mien helle selle_,"

Fergus grinned. "And such a sweet torment it will be."


	44. Expectations

**Chapter 43 Expectations**

Eamon walked into the audience chamber; Siobhan, Gareth, and Teagan all stood in their armor. Seasoned politician that he was, Eamon's face did not show the worry that he felt like a knot in his stomach. "Greetings. Commander, Your Grace, congratulations on the birth of your son; Your Grace, thank the Maker that you are hale and whole. I'm sure the story of your survival is remarkable, but clearly that is not why you are here."

Siobhan stepped forward. "My Lord Arl,as the Warden Commander of Ferelden,I am the one who needed an audience with you. Bann Teagan and Teyrn Mac Tir are here at their own request. What I have to discuss with you is a matter of grave importance and one that I'm sure you'll want to have in private, not is an open audience chamber."

"Of course. First, if you can allay my fears, Alistair is well?"

Siobhan nodded. "Yes, he's fine My Lord. Currently he's leading a detachment to OstagaR. We have reason to believe that Maric's sword and several documents are hidden there."

Arl Eamon could not hide his genuine relief. "Thank the Maker. Please, please follow me to my study. I will make sure we are not disturbed."

Once settled in the study, Eamon acted as the Elder Statesmen. "Commander, what counsel can I provide?"

Siobhan looked him in the eye. "My Lord, it is not your counsel I seek."

"Then let me assure you, my army _will_ stand with the Wardens."

"My Lord, I do not doubt that your army will join our flight."

_What is she up to?_ "Then I admit to being at a loss. What prompted your…visit?"

Siobhan pulled out the note and the original list from Samuel, opened them then placed them on the desk, in front of Eamon. "Drop the statesman act."

Eamon looked at the notes in silence, both papers were clearly in his own hand. _Samuel double-crossed me. _ He looked up at Siobhan, she could see the anger in his eyes, but his voice was calm and firm. "The issue of succession is a political one, and not part of the purview of the Wardens. Your Order is supposed to remain _neutral_. Need I remind you of what happened to Sophia Dryden, and _her_ wardens?"

Gareth gestured to the note, contempt clear in her voice. "As Teyrn of Gwaren, it _is_ _my_ purview. Eamon; I would expect such filthy deceit from Howe or Ceorlic, but not from the head of the Guerrin family, not from the uncle of our fallen king. This is _beneath_ you, Eamon."

"We are the _brothers_ of Queen Rowan; Eamon what were you _thinking_?"

Eamon's anger was clear on his face. "Our country needs to keep the throne in the _Calenhad_ line! I work for the sake of Ferelden, and Rowan would have _agreed_ with me."

Siobhan lost her temper. "For the sake of _Ferelden_, or for sake of your own power? This isn't about the Theirin bloodline. If you had been so concerned about the stability of Ferelden's throne, you would have trained Alistair at an early age, and brought him up to be a king. Cailan was the heir; you could have raised the spare. But you didn't, and now you sit there and spew rubbish about your doing this for the sake of Ferelden! Face it, Eamon, you would put Alistair on throne, but you would be the one pulling the strings."

Eamon sneered. "The way you stick up for Alistair…is it just _sisterly_ affection that drives you?"

Gareth stood up and in one quick motion put himself between Eamon and Siobhan. Looking down on the Arl, his voice, calm, controlled, and deadly. "Eamon Guerrin, need I remind you that you are speaking to my _wife_?"

Teagan tried to calm the situation. "Please, everyone, let us sit down and discuss this like rational people."

Siobhan took a deep breath. "Arl, Bann Teagan, I apologize for my fit of temper."

Eamon slowly sat back down, stiffly. "I accept your apology."

At that point, Gareth could have cheerfully killed the Arl. Breathing deeply he kept his demeanor calm and reasonable.

"Eamon." Gareth began. "Did you ever wonder _why_ Maric charged you with raising Alistair?"

"Maric needed to hide his little…_indiscretion_, of course."

Siobhan knew where Gareth was going with this, and added, "So you treated him like the _indiscretion_ he was, instead of the heir you now so desperately want?"

Eamon looked Siobhan. "You don't understand; _Maric_ was the one worried about Alistair being a threat to Cailan. I _needed_ to remove that threat."

Gareth looked at Eamon. "Did Maric _actually_ tell you that?"

"Well, not in so many words, but his intent was clear."

Siobhan smiled at Eamon. "Well, then you should know that it was not Maric's idea to keep Alistair away from court."

"And what would _you_ know about it? You were barely out of diapers when this happened."

Gareth leaned forward in his chair. "Eamon, you forget that I was Maric's squire. I learned from Maric that it was Alistair's mother that wanted him to be raised away from court. Maric was abiding by _her_ wishes. A decision, he said was was one of his biggest regrets."

Eamon could not keep from showing the shock at Gareth's words. _There is no guile in those eyes. Merciful Maker, what is going on?_

Siobhan gently placed her hand on Eamon's forearm. "Arl Eamon, you know Gareth speaks the truth."

Eamon removed his arm from under Siobhan's. "If Maric regretted keeping Alistair away from court, then _clearly_ he also wished Alistair to be the line of succession. Do you really want to go against _Maric's_ wishes?"

Siobhan shook her head and was about to speak, when Gareth placed his hand on her shoulder. "Eamon. I knew Maric as my liege lord, my father's best friend, and as the father of a man who was as dear to me as a brother. Maric may have _wished_ for Alistair to be in the succession, but he would never have _forced_ it on him."

Tears welled in Siobhan's eyes, as she felt Gareth's pain at loosing the three most important men in his life. She looked at the, now pale, Arl. "Eamon, please, you of all people know how important it is to Alistair to choose his own path. I ask you, _I beg you_, if you care about him, as much as you claim, _let him go_."

"Brother, Siobhan and Gareth speak sense and the truth. Please."

Eamon was silent, his face unreadable. Then, slowly, the creases in his forehead softened, his shoulders slumped. He looked up at Gareth and Siobhan. "It speaks highly of Alistair that he has gained your loyalty. Please, I need time to think about all you have said"

Siobhan's temper flared again. "No Arl Eamon, I want your assurance, _now_, that these shameful attempts to discredit my Wardens, my husband, and me will end, and that you _will_ support Alistair's wishes. Lastly, I _expect_ you to be the statesman that you are and work _with_ us to dethrone the architects of this civil war."

Eamon stood up looked at Siobhan, his eyes reflected great regret and great respect. "Warden Commander, you have my assurance, as the Arl of Redcliffe, that things will be as you have asked."

Siobhan nodded. "I regret having had to take this tone with you, but you gave me little choice. Nonetheless, thank you, Arl Eamon, for your assurances and I'm glad to have you on our side."

Gareth turned to the Arl. "Eamon, it would work to our mutual advantage if we kept my existence hidden."

"I understand. Is it true that Chasind Army is heading to Rainesfere?"

Gareth nodded.

"Wise choice. Teagan, I would like have companies of my army spend time at Rainesfere, we need to make sure this large unit can work together."

Gareth smiled. "My thoughts, exactly."

Eamon sat down and looked at his brother. "Teagan, could you stay here? There are many things I would like to discuss with you."

"Of course, Brother."

With that, Gareth and Siobhan took their leave. Once in the entryway, Siobhan let out a deep breath, and reached into her belt pack for a healing potion. Gareth stopped and put his arms around her. "You, Madame, were magnificent."

Siobhan smiled weakly. "It was not I who carried the day, my love. I'm only sorry that you had to suffer. I know you miss Maric and Calian."

Gareth let out a deep breath and kissed his wife on the top of her head. "Come on; let's get you home. I have a feeling we'll both be facing the Wrath of Wynne."

When they were in the Castle courtyard, Samuel and Zevran appeared, seemingly from nowhere. Both were smiling. Zevran looked at the couple. "_Il miei Leone e Lioness_, such a formidable pair. If you ever decide to enlarge your pride, you only have but to ask."

Gareth chuckled. "Zevran, you know that a pride has only one male."

"Ah, my handsome Teyrn, I would never consider being the _dominant_ male."

Gareth just laughed. "Samuel, your services have been invaluable. Let us all go back to Rainesfere, have a pint, and relax."

* * *

Teagan poured a brandy for Eamon, and for himself.

"Eamon, please, tell me what's going on, what drove you to that course of action?"

Eamon slowly sipped his drink. Teagan noticed how _old_ his brother looked, as if recent events had aged him ten years.

Eamon looked up, as if he hadn't heard Teagan's question. "Was I really that _terrible_ a foster father?"

Teagan put down his drink. "You were raising Alistair under…_difficult_ circumstances."

"Please, Teagan, let there be no artifice between us."

Teagan sighed. "Brother, you _let_ Isolde influence you more than you should have, and Alistair paid the price for it. Siobhan is right; given all that's happened to Alistair, it would be cruel to force him onto the throne, Theirin blood or not. Perhaps if Alistair was raised as the traditional spare, Ferelden may not be in the political turmoil it is now. But we will never know."

Eamon slowly nodded his head. "I suppose we should let the past bury it's dead. Thank you, Teagan, for everything you have done for Redcliffe and for Ferelden. When this is all over, whomever sits on that throne will be made aware of your contributions to ending this Blight."

* * *

The group arrived back at Rainesfere; Gareth had to carry Siobhan into the house. Wynne looked daggers at him. _Thank the Maker she cannot cast a fireball with her eyes!_

He put Siobhan down. She put her hands up and looked at Wynne, her voice weak. "It wasn't Gareth's fault. This was _my_ idea. And while I don't regret what I did, I'm quite sure you will have your revenge; my body is going to punish me ten-fold. Right now though, I _really_ need to feed Bryce." She whispered in Gareth's ear, "Can you find someone to discreetly clean the inside of my breast plate, I've been leaking all the way here."

Gareth threw back his head and laughed. "Your wish is my command."

Once Siobhan was ensconced in the bedroom with Bryce. Gareth gathered the men for a trip to the pub, The Balmed Spirits.

* * *

Alistair could see Rainesfere in the distance and turned to Fergus. "I'm going to ride ahead and them know we will be arriving soon. I imagine it will be a bit chaotic getting everyone settled. Bring the men, in formation, to the courtyard in front."

Fergus nodded. "It will be done."

Alistair spurred his horse ahead.

* * *

Siobhan was in the family room again. She had been trying to convince Wynne to let her out of bed and after three days, she finally relented.

After the night at the pub, Kasch, Kess, Zevran and Samuel, were more comfortable together. Zevran, his usual lascivious self, spared no one, save Samuel. Gareth and Kasch good-naturedly put down Zevran's continued advances. Surprisingly, Kess did not, he laughed like everyone else, but he seemed _intrigued_ by Zevran. Gareth caught this and mentally shook his head. _Zevran is a law unto himself_.

Teagan, Kasch and Gareth spent a lot of time discussing Ferelden's political history. Kasch like Gareth, missed very little. Looking at both men with a thoughtful expression. "So, Orlesians thinks Fereldans are backwards and barbarous, but isn't that how Ferelden sees the Chasind?

Gareth sighed. "Unfortunately, yes. Ignorance breeds ignorance."

Kasch sat tall in his chair. "Then we will show Ferelden who the Chasind really are."

Gareth was about to respond when a servant looked into the room. "My Lords, the male Grey Warden has arrived."

When Gareth, Teagan and Kasch arrived, Alistair was standing in the main entryway, his cheeks red from the wind. When Gareth saw him, he grabbed him a bear hug. "It is _good_ to see you, Alistair. How far behind you is the rest of the group?"

Gareth's warm welcome brought a smile to Alistair's face. "They stopped for rest break, so I would say a half hour."

Gareth and Teagan had already determined that there was room in the barracks and tents could be easily pitched around it. Rooms had been set up for the three healers, Udell, and Fergus.

When the army arrived, Teagan, Gareth, Kasch, and Kess, were in the courtyard, in their armor.

Gareth formally introduced Bann Teagan Guerrin as their host. Then looking out over the assembled, his voice loud and clear. "Today is an historic day; the first day of a new era. An era ushered in by your courage and by your dedication. I am proud to welcome you, my sword-brothers, to Ferelden! _Im Krieg…Sieg! _In war, victory!"

The troops cheered.

_"__Seig"_

_"__Seig"_

_"__Seig"_

Teagan could not help but be caught up in the moment and cheered with the troops

Alistair was also caught up in Gareth's address and the men's response. He admired Gareth's presence and command and was more determined that ever to stick to his plans.

The troops were dismissed, Kasch and Kess leading the way. Teagan and Fergus were having an emotional reunion. In the meantime, Gareth escorted Udell and Aya into the estate. Siobhan was standing in the main hall with Bryce in her arms. When she saw Udell, she knew the woman next to him was Aya.

Aya saw the woman holding a baby, with eyes like Fergus. _Siobhan._

Siobhan, tears in her eyes, closed the distance between them. "Aya, there are no words for the joy it is to finally meet you. Welcome."

Aya was grateful for the warm welcome. "I too feel joy in meeting the sister of one I hold so dear." Then looking at the baby. "He's beautiful, Siobhan. Aren't you, _Lethallin_?" She cooed. "May I hold him?"

Siobhan smiled. "Of course." Just then she heard a loud voice from the doorway. "I hear there is a crazy woman around here that _claims_ to be my sister." Siobhan turned to see Fergus. She ran to him, they threw their arms around each other. Tears of joy and of sorrow mingled on their faces. Holding onto each other, tightly, Fergus whispered. "Pup, it's not your fault."

At that moment, the last vestiges of Siobhan's guilt and doubts about whether or not Fergus was going to blame her for leaving her parents, fell away and Siobhan held on to Fergus and sobbed, tears of joy, tears of grief, and tears of relief.

* * *

**AN** Thanks to all who are following this story. Special thank you to Shakespira for her continued reviews and support, and to Nithu for her wonderful Beta-skills.


	45. Chaos and Complications

**Chapter 44: Chaos and Complications**

"Out of chaos comes order."  
~Friedrich Nietzsche

* * *

The Chasind army set-up in the barracks and in tents; the Rainesfere solders split their group between tents and barracks, as well. Adler came to report to Gareth, who gave him a bear hug, which was returned in equal measure.

"_Kommandant__, _may the spirits smile upon your son! Congratulations."

"Thank you Adler. I understand from Fergus that you mustered the army in less than an hour. Well done, man!"

Adler grinned.

At that moment, Adler's Rainesfere counterpart arrived. "Greetings, your Grace, Ser Adler. I am Ser Lorcan. Welcome to Rainesfere."

Adler looked at the man. _I'm happy it is cloudy today; Lorcan's armor would be blinding in full sunlight._ "Ser Lorcan, thank you for sharing the barracks with my men. Please, what form of address is 'Ser'?"

"Ser means that Lorcan is Knight of the Realm." Gareth responded, with a hint of unease.

Adler smiled. "I am no Knight of a _Fereldan_ Realm, but you can call me Herr Adler, or simply Adler. Will that be acceptable, Lorcan?"

Gareth tried not to laugh; Lorcan didn't know what to make of Adler's request. Finally, held out his arm, Adler gripped it. "Well met, Adler."

"You as well, Lorcan."

Gareth looked at the two men. "I was thinking that training would start tomorrow, and then the day after, the men might enjoy an informal tournament. What do you both think?"

Adler raised an eyebrow. "That could be interesting; do you want us to mix up the men or have our army versus army?"

Gareth looked thoughtful. "I would like to integrate the soldiers in to two mixed teams. It might help them bond faster."

Adler and Lorcan nodded their agreement. Adler looked to Gareth. "If you will excuse me, I need to make sure that my men are settled in."

"As do I. Adler. perhaps I can arrange some entertainment for tonight? We have some fine minstrels and dancers who would love to perform in front of such a large audience."

Adler nodded, as he and Lorcan walked off the barracks discussing watch schedules.

Gareth let out a deep sigh of relief. Kasch came up next to him. "_Kommandant_, would you prefer me to stay with the men, or continue my guard detail inside the estate?"

I think you should be with the soldiers and your squad. Much has happened since we left Ostagar. With all of my wife's companions around, she will continue to be protected. Your service has been invaluable Kasch, thank you."

Kasch bowed left to join his men. Gareth went back into the estate.

* * *

While Gareth was out with the armies, Fergus stayed in the estate. He and Siobhan had a lot to talk about, and not all of it would be easy, so he was hesitant. Aya, however, was insistent.

"Do not waste a moment, please, you both have much to discuss." She waved her hands dismissively. "Do not be sidetracked by this chaos. Go somewhere private and talk."

"But Bryce…" Siobhan began

Aya merely raised an eyebrow. "I will watch Bryce. He has been fed, yes?'"

Siobhan smiled. "Yes, very well in fact."

"Then _go_, both of you."

Teagan let them use his study. It was quiet and private. It also had a very comfortable sofa, which turned out to be a blessing for both Siobhan and Fergus. When they sat, they both sighed in relief of their pain. Looking at each other, they just shook their heads and chuckled.

"I've only just met Aya, but I can already tell how deeply she cares for you."

"Then you're alright with her and I?"

"Of course! She makes you happy. Does that mean I don't miss Oriana? Of course not, but she would want you to go on and live your life. Which is what I want you to do as well. Besides, I now have someone who I _know_will tease you when I cannot."

Fergus rolled his eyes, and then looked in mock horror. "Please, please be gentle with me!"

Siobhan laughed. "I'm so grateful to have you back."

"Same here, pup; same here."

Fergus asked about the Grey Wardens and the Blight. Siobhan explained, as best she could, about what a Blight is, what it could mean, and that Grey Wardens were the only ones who could slay an Archdemon.

His eyes could not hide the fear and worry he felt. "Surely, there are others who are going to assist?"

"Yes, definitely! " Siobhan explained about the treaties and that the only help they hadn't yet secured were the dwarves. "That's why I need to leave for Orzamar, as soon as possible. Once we have the support of the Dwarves, we will have an army large enough to help Alistair and I… kill the Archdemon."

Fergus looked at his sister. Her youthful face was belied by the haunted look in her eyes. Her eyes reflected the all the toil, worry, pain, and death she had seen.

He asked about the birth of his nephew and Siobhan's face lit up. He was surprised to hear that Gareth was there to watch the birth. "I'm just glad he was able to be here."

Siobhan smiled. "You, of course, had nothing to do with that…"

"Actually, it was a group effort; your husband has developed an extraordinary relationship with the Chasind."

Siobhan smiled with pride. "He is an extraordinary man."

"Yes, but stubborn. Very, very stubborn."

"Well, he does give _me_ a run for my money."

Fergus was silent a long time, just watching Siobhan. She knew what he was thinking and braced for the question she dreaded.

Fergus leaned forward and held her hand. "Siobhan, what happened the night of Howe's attack?"

She proceeded to recount the events of that horrible night in Highever. She did not go into detail about how Oriana and Orin had been found, but she told him everything else.

It was so difficult for Siobhan to retell the events of that night; several times she broke down and sobbed, reliving the nightmare. Fergus was about to have her stop talking about it, but Siobhan refused.

"Fergus, do you want to know all that happened?"

Fergus sighed. "Yes, but not at your expense."

"From who else can you hear it, if not from me?"

Fergus hung his head as Siobhan stroked his hair and ended her account with her arrival at Ostagar. After that, she couldn't go on, she could only cry. Fergus moved closer to her on the sofa and held Siobhan in his arms as she sobbed.

_My heart began healing, while my body was healing. Siobhan has never really had a chance to grieve. Maker, if I ever see Howe or Loghain…_

Once Siobhan's sobs had quieted, she continued. "Fergus, Loghain was just awful. I could tell that the news of Gareth's death tore his heart out, just as it did mine, but the horrible things he said to me were beyond words."

"That's when you tried to stab him?"

Siobhan could only nod.

"So Duncan conscripted you into the Grey Wardens to protect you from the right of High Justice?"

Again, Siobhan could only nod.

"Pup, I can't believe you _missed_."

Siobhan startled and looked up to see the twinkle in her brother's eyes. As it always had, it made her laugh.

Fergus walked Siobhan upstairs after their talk. He then found Aya in the family room singing to baby Bryce. When she looked up at Fergus, his breath caught in his throat. He loved Aya, but it wasn't until that moment, looking into her eyes as she held Bryce, that he realized he wanted to start a new _life_ with Aya, and to be a father once again.

* * *

Alistair was pacing in his room, going over everything he had learned from Udell; between killing the Archdemon, and the situation with Flemeth and Morrigan, his blood was boiling.

He was so deep in thought that he started at the knock at his door. "Enter!"

In walked last person he expected, Morrigan.

She looked uncomfortable, but still carried herself with the annoyingly, condescending, self-assurance that Alistair loathed.

"Alistair, I need to speak with you and Siobhan. There are…some things you both need to know."

Alistair motioned for her to come in. After he closed the door, he turned to her, his face, dark and angry, his voice cold. "You mean about how to kill an Archdemon? Aren't _you_ are the expert, isn't that why your _mother_ pushed you on us?"

Morrigan simply looked at Alistair, her gaze scorching. Alistair ignored it and continued.

"Remember, I talked with Udell; he furthered my Warden education, quite well. So I ask you, _what_ did your mother send you to do?"

Arching a delicate eyebrow. "Are you finished bellowing? I assure you, 'tis not something that would hurt either of you. 'Twill only help you. I was going to talk to Siobhan about it, and came here to bring you with me."

"You are here to _help_ us? That's rich!"

"Believe what you will, 'tis, however, the truth."

"I don't want to involve Siobhan until I know what we're dealing with."

"Is she not the Commander? Are you not required to report this situation to her immediately?"

Morrigan was right. He knew that if Duncan had been the Commander, he wouldn't have hesitated going to him. _Of course Duncan wouldn't have been a week past giving birth._

Alistair gritted his teeth. "As much as I hate to admit it, you're right."

"Your…apology is _so_ heartfelt"

Alistair ignored the sarcasm. "Let's just go find Siobhan, shall we?"

On their way downstairs, they encountered Leliana, who mentioned that Fergus and Siobhan were having a private talk in Teagan's study.

Alistair motioned Morrigan aside and whispered harshly. "This is not over!"

Gareth had just come inside when he saw Alistair walking away from Morrigan; both wore expressions of frustration and anger. Gareth intercepted Alistair and motioned towards the dinning hall. "What's the matter? You and Morrigan looked like you were going to tear out each other's throats."

"Morrigan has been nothing but a thorn in my side, a big ugly one."

As they entered the dining hall, Gareth asked one of the servants for two pints of ale.

Alistair smiled. "So you are a mind reader as well?"

"It didn't take a mind reader to know that you needed a drink, just a pair of eyes."

The men settled in the far corner of the dinning hall with some ale and nutmeats. They mostly chatted, until Alistair had a half pint in him and he started to relax.

"So, aside from being a colossal pain in the arse, what was going on between you Morrigan?

Alistair looked at Gareth. He looked like a younger version of his father, but he was as different from Loghain, as chalk was from cheese. There was something in his eyes and relaxed manner that put Alistair at ease.

Alistair stared at his mug, then looked up. "Udell was a wealth of information about the Grey Wardens. As it turns out, his father was a Warden."

Gareth arched an eyebrow, he has suspected some connection, given the tribe's battle cry, but he had never asked Udell and Udell had never volunteered the information. "I get the impression that not all Udell told you was good news."

Alistair nodded. "He told me how Grey Wardens slay an Archdemon, and that Morrigan and Flemeth are somehow wrapped up in all this. Flemeth sent Morrigan to us for a special reason and Morrigan knows what it is, but has failed to mention it, until now."

"Alistair, Siobhan brought up her need to go through the Joining. I'm not asking what's involved; I know that it's something the Warden's keep confidential, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried."

Alistair sipped his ale and regarded Gareth for a moment. _What do I tell him? Do I tell him that I don't want her to take the Joining, ever?_

Running his hands through his hair. "About that. I would like to delay Siobhan's Joining."

Gareth looked surprised. "Have you mentioned that to Siobhan?"

Alistair nodded. "Honestly, I wasn't going to tell her, I was just going to do it."

Gareth laughed. "You _have_ met my wife?"

Alistair chuckled. "Yes, that _is_ the tricky part."

Gareth's smiled faded as his brows knit together. "Is the Joining dangerous?"

At that moment, Alistair hated the secrecy of the Wardens. He was silent for a long while, trying to find a way to answer his question without divulging any more secrets. Looking at Gareth. "All I can say is that Wardens fight the blight using any means necessary. I need to make sure _nothing_ can interfere with Siobhan's ability to gather the forces we need to defeat the Archdemon."

Alistair watched Gareth's reaction. He looked Alistair in the eye and knew that the young Warden had answered his question.

The men fell into more casual conversation over another ale. Then Alistair asked the question Gareth had been waiting for.

"Gareth, what was Cailan like?"

* * *

Siobhan was laying down on the bed resting. The talk with Fergus took its toll, but in many ways she felt much better, like a weight had come off her shoulders. She hadn't realized how much she kept locked inside. Sharing with Gareth helped, but it wasn't until she spoke with Fergus, that the damn of pain and guilt opened. She was glad for it.

There was a soft knock at the door.

"Come in."

Udell and Wynne came into the room.

Siobhan and Udell hugged. Looking at him, her voice filled with emotion. "There are no words to express how grateful I am to you for all you've done for my family and for the Wardens. "

Udell smiled. "Those will do just fine. Besides, we benefited from having Gareth and Fergus with us."

"Then, I'm happy that we could repay, in some small measure, the debt we owe you and your tribe."

Although Udell's skin was very tan, Siobhan could see a faint blush color his cheeks.

Siobhan looked at Wynne. "So, what brings you both here?"

"Udell and I have been talking about your desire to be up and about so you can travel to Orzamar. As I said before, I can really only heal your body. However, Udell, tells me that he can help your…how did you put it, Udell?"

"I can rejuvenate your body's energy paths, and bring your emotional state in line with your healed body."

"So, I will be like I was before I had Bryce?"

Wynne shook her head, "There are permanent, subtle changes to a woman after giving birth, they don't interfere with anything, but it makes having a second child easier."

"Will I still be able to breast feed?"

Udell nodded. "For a while, but that will end sooner than normal."

Siobhan's eyebrows knit. "How long will this healing take?"

"The healing I give you" Wynne began, "will take a couple of hours."

"My healing will take part of an afternoon, but I need tomorrow to prepare."

Siobhan nodded. "With all the chaos today I haven't had a chance to talk to the rest of our group. Hopefully, I can do that tomorrow while you both prepare."

Udell and Wynne nodded.

Siobhan sat back down on her bed. "You don't know what it means to be finally be able to meet with Dwarves. This is our last treaty and I hope they will honor it without issue. Once we have secured their assistance, then we can settle this void-bound civil war, and be ready to meet the horde and end this blight."

Udell arched an eyebrow. "Have you spoken with Alistair?"

"No, there hasn't been time. I plan on speaking with him either after dinner or in the morning. Why do you ask?"

Udell shook his head. "No reason, other than to know if you have strategized the upcoming confrontations."

Siobhan took Udell's words at face value, but she knew there was more to his question than simple curiosity.

Wynne motioned to the door. "Why don't we go downstairs and get ready for supper?"

"You and Udell head down; I will be down you shortly."

* * *

"What was Cailan like?" Gareth sat back and thought a moment. "First, let me tell you what his wasn't like. He was _not_ the jaunty, over-confident Cailan you saw at Ostagar; that was a mask, the public persona. Cailan did _not_ have a wandering eye, and he did _not_ sow his royal oats while married to Anora. He also was _not_ a figurehead."

Gareth took another swig of his ale, finding it difficult to talk about this.

"Gareth, if this is too much for you to talk about…"

"No. You should know about your brother, who he was and why. He was first and foremost, a loyal friend and husband. He cared deeply about preserving his father's legacy. Sure, in the beginning of our friendship, I spent _a lot_ of time getting him out of trouble. He was prone to flights of fancy, and knights of old were his passion. But, contrary to my _father's_ opinion, he grew out if that. When he became King, he _knew_ Ferelden was mourning the loss of his father, as was he. Anora was a good match because she understood politics better than Cailan, and Anora did have a lot of influence on Cailan's _early_ actions as king. But that changed."

Alistair saw Gareth's empty mug and signaled a servant for another round. "Changed how?"

Gareth ran his hand through his hair, blowing out a breath, his eyes suddenly far away. Then he leaned forward on the table, closer to Alistair. "About three years into his rein, around the time I met Siobhan, Cailan felt that my father wanted him to be more like Maric, and was angry that he wasn't; Anora began to see herself as the true power behind the throne. Cailan started to spend more time talking to Eamon and Bryce, Bryce especially; they began to mentor him on politics and statesmanship. They talked about the need for trade and stability with Orlais. He had these meetings in secret because of my father's attitude towards anything having to do with Orlais._" _

Alistair could hear the anger in Gareth's voice whenever he mentioned his father.

"Granted, my father has good reason to hate Orlais, but his anger created a blind spot. There is no grey area for my father. Things are either black or white. For him everything is an _Orlesian_ plot and anyone in contact with Orlesian is somehow plotting against Ferelden. That included the Grey Wardens."

The servants brought another round of ale.

"My father was very angry, and worried that Eamon would manipulate Cailan into putting my sister aside so he could remarry and produce an heir; more importantly he believed that Cailan was going to marry Celene and essentially hand Ferelden back to Orlais."

"Would Cailan have done that? I know Eamon has an _obsession_ with having heirs of Theirin bloodline." Gareth noticed the bitterness in Alistair's voice.

"Cailan would have _killed_ himself rather than put Anora aside, much less even consider marrying Celene. He still continued to be mentored by Bryce, although he became weary of Eamon. That was one of the reasons he was reluctant to have Eamon's forces join in the battle at Ostagar."

Alistair arched an eyebrow. "What was the other reason?"

"If all went badly at Ostagar, Cailan didn't want to leave Ferelden without some kind of army. Good strategic thinking for a man who was supposed to have his head in the clouds." The sarcasm was clear.

"According to Cailan, Bryce and Eamon had been working with like-minded Orlesian nobles and had finally arranged an audience with Celene. Cailan felt, as King of Ferelden, that he needed to be there. Cailan told me that he had left a note for Anora; she did not share it with her father. Something happened when Cailan came home from Orlais. He wouldn't tell me what, but his attitude towards Anora changed. He was no longer the love-struck young man. Then came the news from Duncan and you know the rest of _that_ story."

Gareth took a long pull from his mug. His eyes started to redden, as tears formed. "Cailan knew about you, Alistair. If he had survived Ostagar, he would have liked to get to know you better. He was the best friend I have ever had. As Maric's squire and through Cailan's friendship, I felt more a part of their family than I did my own." Tears started to stream down his face. "I wish more than anything that you could have known him like I did."

* * *

Dinner was a jovial affair, with everyone present; there was much banter, tales, and laughter. After dinner, Alistair reluctantly pulled aside a tired Siobhan; she was holding a hungry Bryce.

"I hate to do this; I know how tired you are. But Morrigan and I need to talk to you, and it really can't wait."

Siobhan heard the urgency in Alistair's voice. "Of course. Let me feed Bryce and put him to bed. Find a place where we can talk."

Morrigan, Alistair, and Siobhan settled into Teagan's study.

Siobhan looked around, and sighed. "Unfortunately, I think I will always associate this room with unpleasant news and discussions. Before we start, I would like to infuse this room with some good news. Alistair, Eamon is not going to put you forward as king."

Alistair felt a weight come off his shoulders as he smiled. "Really?"

"Really, and we are still on speaking terms with him, too."

"I don't want to know what it took, but thank you."

"You do realize that this is not a typical reaction one finds in heirs?" Siobhan smiled.

Alistair basked in his happiness for few moments. Then Morrigan cleared her throat.

At the sound of Morrigan's voice, anger came flooding back into Alistair."I don't know how to start. I spoke to Udell at some length when we were in Ostagar. It turns out his father was a Grey Warden."

Siobhan was stunned. "Really? How could that be?"

Morrigan waved her hand dismissively. "'Tis a tale for another time."

Alistair nodded in reluctant agreement with the witch. "The point of this is that he knows about the taint, the joining, and about Archdemons, most especially why Grey Wardens are the ones that must slay them."

Siobhan's eyes flicked over to Morrigan, then back to Alistair.

Alistair understood. "Morrigan already knows of all this as well, she learned it from _Flemeth_."

Siobhan arched an eyebrow at Morrigan. "I take it this was the information you did not trust me enough to share?"

Morrigan nodded. "I was going to tell you when we came back from Ostagar. However, the half-wit templar found out and has already passed judgment on me."

Alistair practically growled. "Too little, too late."

Siobhan held up her hand, command in her voice. "I understand that whatever this information is, it is critical, however, if neither of you will behave like adults, then the meeting ends, now! Alistair, as my Second, you especially need to set an example. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Commander. Forgive me."

Morrigan lowered her eyes. "I too apologize."

Siobhan nodded. "Then let us continue. Alistair?"

"Udell told me that when an Archdemon is slain, its soul, or essence, is not destroyed, but travels to the closest tainted being. Darkspawn are soulless and can easily serve as a host for the Archdemon's soul, corrupting it once again making the Archdemon essentially immortal."

Siobhan sat back. "But Grey Wardens are not soulless."

Alistair nodded. "When a Grey Warden slays the Archdemon…"

Siobhan felt the fear and hysteria just below the surface as she realized the full impact of what Alistair was saying, pushing it down, she spoke softly and calmly, "Then the Grey Warden dies along with the spirit of the Archdemon."

Alistair simply nodded.

Siobhan collected her thoughts. Looking a Morrigan. "What role are you to play in this, Morrigan?"

"Mother also knows how an Archdemon is killed. She sent me along to so that I could perform a ritual that would allow the Grey Warden who slays the Archdemon to survive."

Alistair looked wary, "What kind of _ritual_?"

"On the eve of battle, I need lay with a male Grey Warden, like Alistair, or anyone else who had recently joined. From this union will come a child. When the Archdemon is killed the newly forming child will be like a beacon and the Archdemon's soul will travel to the child. At such at early stage, the child can absorb the soul without danger."

"Lay with you, you mean have _sex_ with you? This is a _sex_ ritual?" Alistair's voice cracked has he sat in disbelief.

Morrigan turned and glared at Alistair "Udell's idea is too uncertain. I know this ritual will work. No one has to die."

Siobhan turned to Alistair. "What else did Udell tell you?"

"Udell took me on a journey to the realm of essence. To make a long story short, he said that once the Archdemon is killed, its soul would appear in that realm for a few brief moments. Udell believes that it can be captured there and destroyed."

Morrigan's tone filled with condescension. "What Alistair _fails_ to realize, is that the timing is critical, 'twill only be in that realm for a brief period before it finds a new host, the Grey Warden or a Darkspawn."

Alistair looked a Morrigan, disgust in his eyes, "It's a better option than producing some kind of God-baby, swamp witch!"

Morrigan sighed.

"Enough! If you both insist on acting I like children, then I will treat you as such. Morrigan, please leave and go to your room. I will speak to Alistair. When I am done I will come and talk with you. Alistair, I suggest that after we talk, you go to your room and stay there. When this discussion is over, I don't want to see or hear either of you until tomorrow."

Morrigan nodded and left the room, a look of sorrow on her face.

Siobhan turned to Alistair. "Before you become a commander, you had better learn to control your temper. You don't have to _like_ those under your command, but you must respect them."

Alistair nodded. "I know, she's just…"

"I don't care if she turns you into a frog. In order to command, there is a time and place for anger. If the person is being insubordinate to you, then you must mete out the appropriate punishment, firmly and without dramatics, just as you would _anyone_ else under your command. Is that clear?"

Alistair nodded.

Siobhan raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, Commander."

Siobhan stood and placed a hand on Alistair's shoulder. "You will make a great commander, Alistair. You just need to learn to school your emotions better. Now, tell me about this realm of essence."

Alistair explained the 'trip' with Udell to this realm and what he saw. Siobhan listened quietly, her face showed nothing of the fear that continued to well-up inside her.

When Alistair was finished. Siobhan looked at him. "Who would need to travel to this realm, and how exactly would they capture and kill the Archdemon's soul?"

"Udell said it would take about three 'spirit travelers', as he calls them; Udell and two others. They would need to locate where the Archdemon is being fought, and be ready for the moment the Archdemon's soul is released from it's corrupted form. When it appears in the realm, they can contain the soul; Udell used the analogy of fishing nets. Once caught, the soul cannot leave the realm. The spirit travelers would then sever the soul's ties to the mortal world, the soul will simply start to disintegrate, until there is nothing left."

Siobhan's mind was a whirl. "So the only foolproof way to kill the Archdemon is for a Grey Warden to sacrifice their life?"

"Yes."

"We cannot risk the disposition of the Archdemon's soul, neither can we have only one Grey Warden fighting the Archdemon. I cannot recruit people simply to be fodder. I have to undertake the joining, Alistair, there needs to be at least two of us."

Fear coiled in Alistair. He knew with complete certainty that if Siobhan survived the Joining, she would make sure that she landed the killing blow. _ That cannot happen! Perhaps Morrigan's ritual…is a better idea._

It was almost as if Siobhan read his mind. "We cannot have a child with the soul of an Old God, loose in Thedas. When Morrigan first told me about Flemeth's plot to take over her body, she also mentioned that she did not _know_ if Flemeth can truly die; even if I succeed in killing Flemeth, Morrigan could still be hunted by her. What if Flemeth is successful? Then Flemeth will raise Old God."

Siobhan stood up. "Thank you, Alistair. Would you please send Morrigan down?"

"I will. Good night, Commander."

"Good night, Alistair."

Alistair closed the door and Siobhan sat down, her body and mind completely numb.

* * *

**AN:** Thank you to Shakespira for her continued reviews and support and to xseikax for her wonderful review.

The biggest thanks goes to my patient and terrific beta, Nithu


	46. Choices

**Chapter 45. Choices**

**AN: **Short update. Thanks you to Shakespira for her encouragement and reviews, and to Nithu, my terrific beta. Thank you to those that have set alerts and favs for this story as well.

Bioware owns all**, **probably including my soul**. -.^  
**

* * *

When Morrigan reached the study, Siobhan, back to the door, was staring at a portrait. Morrigan softly closed the door. Siobhan didn't turn around as she addressed Morrigan. "You've known the whole time you've been with us, what is required to kill an Archdemon?"

"I have."

Siobhan still faced the painting. "You knew what Flemeth wanted you to do?"

"I did."

"Yet, you kept your secret, even though you knew what we were facing?"

"I did."

Siobhan turned towards Morrigan, her eyes filled with sorrow. "You marched with us throughout Ferelden trying to secure these Maker-forsaken treaties. You fought with us, spilled blood with us, and healed our wounds, while all the time you _knew_ what we would have to face in the end?"

"I did."

Weary, Siobhan sat across from Morrigan. "Why was I _unable_ to win your trust? What didn't I do or say that held you back?"

Morrigan had no way to describe the emotions she was feeling. " 'Twas not my lack of trust that stilled my tongue."

"Then what was it?"

"I was raised to believe that to trust is to be weak, and I vowed to never be weak. Then I met you. You gave trust easily. At first, I thought your trusting nature was your biggest weakness. Then I found that it to be one of your strengths. You are strong yet vulnerable, trusting yet cautious. When you expressed your trust in me, that you considered me a friend, I did not know how to feel. I was afraid."

"Afraid of what?"

Morrigan simply looked into Siobhan's eyes. "Afraid of what having a friend would mean."

"I take it, that changed?"

Morrigan nodded. "It changed when you sent me to Ostagar. Adler took Gareth aside and told him I was a witch of the wilds. Gareth did not know me at all, yet he gave me his trust because you gave me yours."

Siobhan smiled. "It seems sort of a round-a-bout way to come at it, but I'm glad you did. "

"Siobhan, I _do not_ want you to die."

"What makes you think I will?"

"Now who is withholding the truth?"

Siobhan's eyes were downcast. "Yes, I cannot risk Alistair taking the final blow, he needs to rebuild the Wardens."

"Nonsense. What is the real reason?"

"I owe it Cailan to save his brother's life. Just as Cailan saved Alistair's and mine, by not letting us face the horde at Ostagar."

"You cannot sacrifice yourself. _My_ way keeps you safe."

Siobhan stood up. "Your way brings forth a child with the soul of an old god. Now, the hour grows late and I have a baby that needs feeding. Good night, Morrigan."

Watching Siobhan leave the room, Morrigan clenched her hands into fists. _Curse you Andraste, for all the lies your Chantry has spewed. _

"Tch, Tch, my dear witch, surely you are not going to give up that easily?"

"Assassin! How much of that did you hear?"

Zevran brushed a spec of dust off of his shoulder. "As much as I needed to. We should figure out how to save Siobhan from herself, yes?"

* * *

After feeding Bryce, Siobhan watched him sleep in his cradle. The realization of the path that lay before her was overwhelming. It took every ounce of her being not to scream and cry. Having thought Gareth was dead, then finding him again, carrying and giving birth to their son, the thought of leaving them was heartbreaking. Yet, if the Archdemon were not killed, everyone would die anyway. If her sacrifice was needed to preserve the very lives she loved the most, than that is what she would do.

Gareth woke up when she came into the room, he stayed silent; content to watch her feed Bryce and put him to sleep. Suddenly, he felt his heart lurch; he knew Siobhan's body language as intimately as he knew his own. The way she stood at the cradle watching Bryce, spoke of something tragically wrong.

Slipping out of bed, he pulled her into his arms. "Cariad, what is troubling you so?"

Siobhan couldn't speak; she just collapsed into his arms and sobbed. Gareth was shocked at the violence of her tears; he picked her up and carried her to the bed. She held onto him as if he was a lifeline, and they laid in bed a tangle of arms and legs as Siobhan continued to sob.

"Shhhh, Cariad, shhhh. What has gotten you into this state?"

Siobhan's sobs had turned into soft hiccups, as she tried to calm down enough to speak. "Gareth, I…I…it's Warden b…business."

"Is it about the Joining?"

"Not directly. Gareth, I can…not tell you warden s…secrets."

Gareth knew Siobhan would not divulge the information. He tried a different tact. "I know the Joining can be fatal."

Siobhan looked at him wide-eyed. "How…"

"I read between the lines the last time I spoke to Alistair."

Gareth watched Siobhan's reaction carefully. _No, it isn't her fear of dying during the joining. _

He tried to piece together all the various bits of information he had heard since Ostagar. Udell's father being a Grey Warden, Morrigan and Alistair's rather contentious after-dinner meeting with Siobhan. Alistair's cryptic answer to whether or not the joining could be fatal. _What exactly did Alistair say…__oh yes, he said he needed 'to make sure nothing can interfere with Siobhan's ability to gather the forces we need to defeat the Archdemon'._

"Cariad, is this about gathering the forces and killing the Archdemon?"

Siobhan desperately tried to contain her emotions, but they were so raw, so strong, she just couldn't help herself, the sobs started afresh.

Gareth held her close as she sobbed. Fear clutched at his heart. "Cariad, whatever it is, please, I beg you, don't decide how the future will go, before it happens. I cannot live without you."

Siobhan heard the pain and need in Gareth's voice; she knew what he was asking. She pulled back and looked at him. "What if I have no choice?"

"There is always a choice."

"But what if I don't see one."

"You have companions, a husband, and a Second. Use our combined wisdom and _find_ choices."

How he managed it, Siobhan didn't know, but without actually knowing what it was that upset her, he had said the exact right things to give her hope.

"You are an amazing man, my husband."

"And you are extraordinary, my wife."

He pulled her into his arms and kissed her softly.

* * *

Alistair could not sleep, so he went to the larder to find a late night snack. On the way he saw Zevran speaking with Morrigan. Alistair shuddered. _I would have thought the assassin had more taste. _

Zevran heard his approach and without turning, laughed. "You are many things, my handsome warden, stealthy is not one of them."

"I didn't mean to interrupt your…whatever it is I'm interrupting…Just ignore me."

Zevran turned and beckoned Alistair. "Actually, your timing is very good."

"You needed rescuing?"

Zevran laughed. "Afraid I might fall under the spell of this lovely witch?"

Alistair blushed. "It's not really any of my business."

"Ah, dear Warden, it is very much your business. Come, we three need to speak."

Zevran looked at Morrigan and Alistair, he could not tell which of the two was the most uncomfortable. Smiling and shaking his head, he led them into the study.


	47. Plans within Plans

**AN:** Thank you to all who have alerted, faved and lurk. Special thanks to Shakespira, Jinx1983, and xseikax for their wonderful reviews, and to Nith for being a terrific beta.**  
**

**Chapter 46. Plans within Plans**

Zevran, Alistair and Morrigan sat in the study. Alistair leaned forward in his chair

"Zevran, what's going on?

"It seems that the Assassin overheard our conversation with Siobhan."

Alistair was stunned; images of Jory went through his mind. _Now what?_ "Zevran, _exactly_ what did you hear?"

Zevran leaned back in his chair. "As I told our beautiful witch, I heard exactly what I needed to hear_. _We need to protect our commander from herself, yes? Surely that is more important than overhearing the fabled Grey Warden secrets?" Zevran body tensed. "I _assure_ you, I am not some green recruit that will fall easily to your blade."

_Maker's breath! If Duncan were here he would either conscript or kill Zevran. _

Both Morrigan and Zevran watched Alistair.

_But Duncan __**isn't**__ here. __**I'm**__ here! _"We will save Siobhan."

Zevran visibly relaxed. "Sensible, _amico mio_. You have some ideas, yes?"

"A way already exists, 'twas Siobhan who refused."

Alistair sighed deeply. "There is one sure way; I will not have her undertake the joining."

"My friend, you understand that leaves **one **warden to defeat this Archdemon?"

Alistair hung his head and nodded.

"My ritual only works if you actually **manage** to stay alive long enough to face the Archdemon. "

"That assumes that I undergo your…ritual. Which I'm still not sure about."

"You addle-brained templar; 'tis your devotion to a senseless religion that stays your hand."

"It could also be that I would rather die killing the Archdemon than sleep with you."

Zevran raised his hand. "_Brasca_! Now I understand how our commander feels. Enough! There are two ways to save the one who slays the Archdemon, and it appears that there is only one full-proof way to save Siobhan. This is a correct assessment, yes?

Alistair nodded. "That sums it up."

"_Amico mio_, you cannot be the only one present with the ability to slay this demon."

"Siobhan doesn't want to recruit anyone. She feel we would just be throwing them at the Archdemon."

Morrigan threw her hands up in the air. "Does she not realize what she gives up?"

"I believe our lovely warden cares more for what would be lost, should the Archdemon survive, no? Alistair, you will not administer this joining to Siobhan. Is there any chance she can do it herself.

"No. I've deliberately kept that from her."

"Then 'twas always your plan to not have Siobhan become a full warden? Interesting, that is not would I would have expected."

"Turns out I'm just full of surprises."

"Then it seems, _amico_, that you need to recruit more wardens, and have both our lovely witch and the tribal elders both perform their rituals. That protects Siobhan, and none of the new recruits would be…_fodder_."

"I will think over your plan, Zev. But I really need some sleep."

Morrigan stood up and to walk out of the study. "As do we all. Till tomorrow."

Alistair stood up, but Zevran motioned him to stay. Once they were alone. "She will be furious at you for withholding the joining; you know that, yes? Aside from your luscious biceps, you must have something up your sleeve."

Alistair ignored the comment about his muscles he leaned towards Zevran, his voice uncharacteristically cold and hard. "If you speak of _anything_ said in this room without my express permission, I will conscript you or kill you. Are we clear?"

Zevran smiled. "Agreed, though I should warn you, I am incredible hard to kill." Relaxing back into the chair. "Now, what have you been scheming?"

"I don't want the crown; I've made no secret about that. I would be breaking my oath as a Grey Warden to do so. Siobhan has not made that oath, because she has not taken the joining."

"You are thinking of making Siobhan queen? What of Gareth, he would he also be king?

"That's my plan. Tell me, Zevran, can you think of a better pair to rule Ferelden?"

* * *

Gareth woke up at dawn; Siobhan was sound asleep. Their room had an east-facing window, big enough to watch the sun rise while still laying in bed. After the sun made it's appearance, Bryce started to fuss. Smiling, he went to the cradle. Siobhan has changed him when she fed him in the middle of the night, and a quick check confirmed that diaper change was not needed. For which Gareth was secretly relieved. He picked up Bryce and cradled him in his arms. Bryce quieted.

"It seems you have the Mac Tir eyes, but you've been blessed with your mother's nose. Marveling at Bryce's small hands, and the way his eyes followed Gareth's face, the love he felt for his son was overwhelming. Thinking back, he remembered the lullaby his father sang to him.

_"Over in Ferelden  
Many years ago,  
Me Mither sang a song to me  
In tones so sweet and low.  
Just a simple little ditty  
In her good ould Gwaren way,  
And l'd give the world if she could sing  
That song to me this day_

_Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li,  
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, hush now, don't you cry!  
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li,  
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, that's a Gwaren lullaby."_

Siobhan woke up to the sound of Gareth's voice. He was rocking and singing to Bryce. _How, in the Maker's name can I leave them? _Thinking back to Gareth's words last night. _Perhaps now was the time to for Alistair and I to lay everything on the table for our companions. To the void with Grey Warden secrecy, we must stop the Blight by any means necessary._

She crept quietly out of bed and slid her arms around Gareth, resting her head on his back. "The Maker smiled on me that day I met you, my dearest one."

"Then we are both Maker-blessed." Siobhan could hear his deep voice rumble to this back.

At that moment Bryce began to fuss; Gareth turned to his wife, with a large smile. "I think this is where you come in, _cariad_."

Taking Bryce from Gareth, Siobhan cooed. "You must be hungry, sweetling."

* * *

For the rest of the day, Gareth was training with the Rainesfere troops and the Chasind army. Apparently the entertainment arranged for last night was just what was needed to break the ice and help the warrior begin get used to each other.

Teagan, Fergus and Gareth were watching the men practice. Teagan, looked at Gareth, a smile on his face. "You have done an amazing thing bringing the Chasind together like this. "How, in Andraste's name, did you do it?"

Gareth smiled and shrugged. "Largely being in the right place and the right time. The Chasind are the ones who agreed to put aside tribal differences."

Fergus laughed. "Don't listen to him, Teagan. It was a lot more than serendipity that made this possible. Gareth truly deserves the credit, as does Udell."

Teagan nodded then motion towards the practice field. "Do you think we can combine these forces with Eamon's army?"

Gareth's brown knit together in thought, as he stroked his beard. "Perhaps, now that we are on speaking terms with Eamon again. Fergus, what do you think?"

"We would be outnumbering the Chasind two to one."

Gareth shook his head. "That's what I was thinking. I think it's important for the Chasind to not be _absorbed_ by the Fereldan warriors, and I think that's how it would feel."

"Excellent observation. All right, no Redcliffe."

Gareth smiled. "All right you two, time to suit up and get out there. We need to train every bit as hard as they do."

Fergus rolled his eyes, but still smiled. "Teagan, I warn you, Gareth is a bit of a task master."

Gareth laughed. "Let's go…before I crack a whip."

The three men laughed as they went to down to the barracks.

* * *

Zevran, Samuel and Leliana had gone to the local pub, which Siobhan felt was rather suspicious. Zevran talked to her before they left. "My lovely Warden, do not furrow your brow, I promise I will be on my best behavior, however tempting my companions are."

"Zev, you are incorrigible."

"Hardly, I can be _corrigible _for the right…incentive."

Siobhan laughed. "That's not even a word." Zevran merely smiled and bowed as he left for the pub

Siobhan curled up on the couch in the family rooms, Bryce was awake and Siobhan was playing with his feet. Connor had gone back to Redcliffe; all of the men, save Zevran and Samuel were training with the armies. Morrigan felt cooped up in the estate, decided to spend the day outside. Wynne was preparing for the healing spell for tomorrow, as was Udell. Even Shale was out with the armies. Siobhan was beginning to wonder if she was the only one indoors, when Aya peaked her head in the room.

"Might I join you?"

Siobhan smiled. "Of course."

"Do you want something warm to drink? I was going to ask the cook for some of that spiced apple drink I had this morning."

"Mulled cider. Yes, I would love some."

The women settled in the family room with their cider. "Siobhan, I am amazed at all that you have done during this…quest. Your companions are fiercely loyal to you and committed to seeing this through. You and your brother have great strength."

"Aya, I…I cannot thank you enough for all that you have done for Fergus. Not only have you healed his physical wounds, but you've also mended his soul. The way he is with you gladdens my heart to see."

Aya blushed. "It hasn't been all one way. Fergus brought light to my heart. Has he always been such a gentle man?"

"Yes. _I_ was the troublemaker. I remember when I was seven and wanted to start learning how to use a sword. My mother was _completely_ against the idea. She felt I should be learning how sew and other such fluff. My father tried to change her mind, but for some reason, Mother had it firmly in her head that I would never learn how to be a lady if I was 'playing in the dirt with a sword'. "

"Clearly, at some point, she changed her mind."

Siobhan nodded. "One afternoon I was sitting in my room, practicing my sewing, _hating it_, when Fergus came to see me. He had something behind his back and told me, 'Pup, there's a time for sewing and a time for fighting.' He then whipped out a beautiful wooden practice sword and said, 'and it isn't time for sewing.' I squealed as he gave me the sword, but then I gave it back and telling him that mother would never approve. Fergus said that she had changed her mind. You can imagine, how excited I was.

"From then on, I trained in the morning and learned more 'ladylike' skills in the afternoon. I was twelve before I found out that it was Fergus who had gotten my mother to change her mind. It turned out that mother was afraid of me getting hurt, so he promised her that he would always be with me when I trained. Fergus and I trained together until I was married."

"And I bet he made the sword too, didn't he?"

"He did indeed. Of course he can also be very stubborn and tells lousy jokes!"

Aya laughed. "I know! I asked him if it was the head injury or were his joke always that bad?"

"Aya, it wasn't the head injury."

The two women spent most of the afternoon talking, getting to know each other, during which, Aya looked at Bryce. "Siobhan, I know you have to go to see the dwarves. Why don't you leave Bryce here with Fergus and I?"

"You would do that?"

"Of course. I think of us all as family."

"So do I, Aya."

The women were hugging when Fergus walked into the room and laughed. "Uh oh, you both have obviously been plotting against me."

"_Mein helle sele_, Siobhan and I do not need to meet, to plot against you."

Siobhan snickered. "We have had a wonderful afternoon talking and getting to know each other."

"And swapping several stories at my expense, I suspect."

Aya went to hug him. "While we did talk about your antics as a child, she also told me how lucky she is that you are her brother. Now, go and bathe. I do not know what is on your armor, but it smells. I will be up in while."

Fergus kissed the top of Aya's head. "Anything for you, my love."

* * *

Siobhan spent the whole next day in the bedroom being healed by Wynne and Udell. Aside from feeding Bryce, she did nothing else. Wynne's spells were powerful and she could feel her body mend. When Wynne was done, Udell came into the room. Siobhan sat across from him; he touched her temples and began to hum. The humming was rhythmic and soothing, and Siobhan's eyes fluttered shut. She woke up, in her bed, near dusk. She felt…wonderful! The nagging pains of childbirth were gone, her tummy was flat, not as hard as it was before, but that's why she needed to train. She slowly sat up and looked in the mirror. The circles under her eyes, were gone, the nightgown she wore was too big, except in the bust. Her breasts were still tender and full. _I need to get dressed and go see find Bryce. Thankfully, I kept my 'pre-cow' clothing. _

Everyone was in the dining hall getting ready for dinner and she hear Bryce start to fuss. Walking into the dining hall, she saw everyone getting ready for supper. Gareth was holding Bryce while talking with Alistair. Bryce started to fuss as Siobhan walked over to them.

Alistair saw her first. "Siobhan, you…you look amazing."

Gareth turned around and smiled. "Cariad, you always look amazing."

Siobhan blushed. "Let me feed Bryce."

Gareth stood up and walked out of the dinning hall with her. Siobhan sat down to nurse Bryce. Gareth sat next to her with his arm around her shoulders and Siobhan leaned against him. They sat just like that, watching their son.


	48. Laying Your Cards on the Table

**AN:** Thank you to all who have alerted, faved and lurked. Special thanks to Shakespira and xseikax for their thoughtful reviews, and to Nithu for being a terrific beta.

The early part of this chapter is NSFW. Not graphic, but still NSFW.

_**Bioware owns all, although, I think Gareth can be mine. **_

* * *

**Chapter 47. Laying Your Cards on The Table**

Smiling, Zevran took a drink of his ale. "I have more information on our dear Sister Celwyddwr. Apparently, she still works for the Crows as the _Padrona di Dolore_."

Samuel looked puzzled. "Who is this Sister, and what does _Padrona di Dolore_ mean?"

"As to the who, Sister Celwyddwr is the one who 'witnessed' Teyrn Cousland's written confession of treason. _Padrona di Dolore_ means, Mistress of Pain. She was one of my 'tutors' when I was in the Crows."

Leliana was surprised. "She _still_ works for the Crows? She never leaves Amaranthine. To be the _Padrona _she would need appropriate equipment, no?"

"You are correct on both points, lovely Leliana. Apparently, Arl Howe has some…_interesting_ proclivities and has created a rather unique dungeon at Vigil's Keep. Also, it seems that the Arl is a _very_ devout Andrastian because Sister Celwyddwr visits the keep frequently. Tending her flock, so to speak."

Samuel snorted. "She is tutoring Crows in Arl Howe's dungeon? Talk about a compromising position."

Zevran smiled. "You seem to have to have a firm grasp of the situation."

"Can we expose her?" Leliana was not to be left out.

All three laughed and ordered another round, after which they got down to business.

"I believe I should pay our dear sister a visit; I'm sure she will be delighted to see a former…student. Then I can _personally_ explain the reality of her situation. Operating outside of the Crows, as she has done by involving herself in the fake confession, is frowned upon. Master Ignacio would not be pleased if he knew."

Leliana thought a moment and smiled. "That should, at least, eliminate the treason charges and expose Howe and hopefully Loghain. When will you be able pay the Sister a visit?"

"I was thinking that while the group goes to Orzammar, I would make a trip to Amaranthine. I have a feeling that once the Sister understands her options, she will be a veritable fountain of information." Zevran arched and eyebrow and looked at Samuel. "Perhaps, you should accompany me? I think that we would make a good team, yes?"

Samuel raised his mug. "I'm with you, Zev."

"Excellent. My lovely Bard, are you part of the group going to Orzammar?"

"I am indeed, and I will keep an eye on Siobhan."

* * *

Bryce began waking up at dawn to be fed; afterwards he settled back down with a full tummy and slept for two candles or so. A naturally early riser, Siobhan was happy to be able to greet the sunrise nursing her son. "The sunrise is particularly beautiful today, don't you think so, _a __stóirín_?" She stroked his jet-black head as he nursed. "You have your father's hair, sweetling. You are going to be a handsome man when you grow up, just like your Da."

"Handsome, huh?" Gareth's deep voice rumbled, seductively, from the bed. He was lying on his side watching Siobhan and Bryce, who had finished nursing and was ready to be burped and put back to bed.

Once the baby was tucked in, Siobhan looked at her husband. "Yes, you are handsome, and you know it!"

"I might need convincing. It's been a while, you know."

"Really. How am I to do _that_?"

Gareth gave her such a rakish smile; Siobhan's body responded so quickly she blushed.

Gareth got out of bed and went to her. He was a bare chested, wearing loose-fitting pants, that rode low on his hips. His black hair sleep tousled, his blue eyes filled with a heady combination of love and lust.

Pulling her into his arms. "I can think of _many_ ways, _cariad_." He softly kissed her along her jawline and then down the side of her neck, coming back to her mouth for a searing kiss. Then he pulled her to the bed.

At first, they were tender, almost tentative with one another, but the need from many months apart took over. Like a starving man, Gareth's mouth explored every inch of her body. Siobhan reach her peak at least twice before Gareth placed his rock-hard member between her legs and slowly slid into her depths. Moaning, Gareth began to thrust in and out in a slow, steady, pace, twisting his hip slightly as he thrust in, touching nearly every part of her core.

Siobhan was panting and moaning as he teased her with his slow pace. She moved her hips trying to speed him up. Gareth leered at her. "It seems, my lady is a wanton wench tonight. Very well." Placing a hand on her hip, he sped up his thrusts.

Siobhan matched him stroke for stroke, all the while moaning, "Gareth…m…maker this feels…so…good."

Gareth was getting close to his own release. 'Look into my eyes, love." The hand on her hip moved between them to stroke her pearl.

Blue met blue, as their eyes locked on one another's. Siobhan and Gareth reached their peak in a crescendo of pulsing ecstasy. Gareth kissed her as they both rode out the wave their release. Spent, they lay in tangle of limbs.

Siobhan smirked. "Does that convince you how handsome you are?"

"It will do…for now."

Siobhan stroked Gareth's beard. "I love you, with all my heart."

"You complete me, _cariad_."

Gareth and Siobhan arrived in the dinning hall shortly after everyone had finished breakfast, save for Alistair, who was eating what looked like his third helping. He saw Gareth and Siobhan, smiled and waved them over.

"Good morning you two, a little late for breakfast?"

Gareth smiled slyly. "Actually, I had a wonderful feast this morning."

Alistair caught the meaning immediately and laughed. Siobhan blushed to her toes.

Alistair was still chuckling. "You do realize, I'm the one who typically blushes?"

Siobhan hoping to steer the attention away from her, smiled wickedly. "Yes, how is that Alistair? Has Zevran finally _rubbed_ off on you?

Alistair blushed and stammered. "What? No…No!"

Siobhan laughed. "Revenge!"

Alistair was still blushing, and had a glint in his eyes. "Wait until we train today."

Gareth laughed. _Maker, they are just like siblings _"Just return her in one piece. I would hate to go hungry."

Bother Siobhan and Alistair blushed.

After training with Alistair, Siobhan's muscles made their presence known, but it felt good. She should be up to speed in a week, and some of that will be while traveling to Orzammar.

After her bath, Siobhan was getting ready to watch the tournament when someone knocked on her door.

"Enter."

Zevran entered the room, dressed in his armor, looking ready to travel. Siobhan arched an eyebrow.

"My Warden, Samuel and I need to travel to Amaranthine to procure some very important information. Please do not ask what, just know that it is crucial to our mission. I ask you for your trust."

Siobhan knew it had something to do with the Crows, but was surprised about Samuel's inclusion. More importantly, Zevran was asking for her trust, something he would never do, which spoke to the necessity of whatever it was he was _going_ to do.

"You have always had my trust. Can you delay a day? You will be missing our meeting tomorrow."

"Unfortunately, we cannot."

"Then stay safe, my friend."

"Of that, you have my word. Nothing can stop me from returning to the beauty of your eyes."

"Zev!"

Smiling, he took his leave. Teagan, who knew about this mission, had given them the loan of two horses to help speed their journey.

* * *

Gareth spent the rest of the day with the Chasind army. In the afternoon they held the informal tournament over which Teagan presided. The house staff, the Chasind healers, Udell, Siobhan and her companions were all invited to watch. After wrapping Bryce in as many blankets as she could, Siobhan brought out Bryce, periodically, so she could watch the tourney.

Unlike most tournaments, there was no Passage of Arms. Instead, it consisted of squad on squad battles, starting with squads of four increasing until it was army versus army. Teams had been chosen in advance. By design, Gareth and Fergus were on opposite teams as were Adler and Lorcan. Kasch ended up on Fergus' team. The Chasind took part in the typical taunting during the battles, enjoying it greatly, and all the warriors performed beautifully. Gareth could see the beginnings of true camaraderie between the Chasind soldiers and the Rainesfere troops.

Fergus's team eked out a win. Earlier in the morning, Adler and Lorcan had polled both teams and asked what they wanted the losing team to do, the decision was unanimous: the loosing team was to jump into Lake Calenhad in nothing save their smalls. Gareth led his team to the lake. As they were disrobing, he addressed his team loudly, "Let us show them our _true_ strength by doing what _they_ _will not_. To the lake!"

The implied challenge was not lost on Fergus and his team and soon most everyone jumped into the cold lake.

When a damp and chilled Gareth and Fergus arrived back at the estate, Siobhan and Aya rolled their eyes and in unison said, "Men."

* * *

Because Siobhan had included, Teagan, Gareth, Fergus, Udell and Aya in the formal meeting, it was held in the dining hall. A guard was stationed at the door to prevent eavesdroppers.

Siobhan had spoken to Alistair earlier about laying it all out on table, they both agreed that this situation was unique and rules needed to be bent or broken, and that they would only share the Grey Warden secrets that were relevant to the issues.

Siobhan and Alistair wore their armor, and Siobhan was in full command of the meeting.

"First, what is spoken here _never_ leaves this room. Each of you have voluntarily given of yourselves and followed Alistair and me on this quest, risking your lives because you also believe the Blight must end. We have fought together, traveled together, and have been there for one another. I cannot, in good conscience, keep important information from you. You have all placed your trust in me, and I place my trust in you.

"You all know that the Grey Wardens keep many secrets. I've called this meeting, because Alistair and I recently became aware of information that is critical to stopping the Bight. Because of the magnitude of this information, Alistair and I are lifting the veil on some of those Warden secrets.

"Some of you may know, from history, that _only_ a Grey Warden can kill an Archdemon. This is because when someone joins the Wardens they take in the taint of the darkspawn. The taint is what allows Wardens to sense darkspawn and to be immune to Blight sickness.

"We have recently learned _why_ only a Grey Warden can slay an Archdemon. When the Archdemon dies, its soul seeks out the nearest tainted being, if someone other than a Warden makes the kill, its soul will simply travel to the nearest darkspawn, who are soulless, and live on. If it's a Grey Warden makes the kill, the Archdemon will seek out the Warden, as being the nearest tainted being. However, we are not soulless. Simply put, the Warden who kills the Archdemon dies."

The room was silent as everyone took in the implications and sheer horror at what they had just heard.

Siobhan waited before going on. When all eyes returned to her, she continued.

"As some of you know, because of my pregnancy, I have not undergone the formal Joining ritual. Once I do, we will have two Wardens to face the Archdemon."

Again, there was dead silence. Leliana spoke first. "We cannot lose either of you. Not after all this!"

That sentiment echoed around the room.

Wynne, who knew how to mix the joining potion, made the suggestion of recruiting more Wardens. To which, Sten, Shale, and Leliana eagerly agreed.

Siobhan raised her hand to get everyone's attention. "_Assuming_ they survive the Joining, would we be recruiting Wardens or sacrificial lambs?"

Murmurs could be heard through out the room. Sten gently hit his hand on the table. All eyes were on him. "If they know the what they face, then they consent to whatever happens."

After a few moments, Siobhan held up her hand. "Please raise your hands if you have questions or comments."

Leliana's hand shot up. "Is there no other way? Is there are way to protect the Warden?"

Alistair stood up next to Siobhan. "There are two ways that have been presented to us. I will be honest with you, our Commander, rejected both, but has been convinced to have them presented here for your consideration. Udell and Morrigan, please present your ideas. Morrigan will go first, followed by Udell." Siobhan and Alistair then sat down and listened.

After Morrigan and Udell told their ideas. Siobhan stood up. "You now understand what we are up against. Her eyes traveled to Gareth. He had an inkling about of all this, but this was the first time he had heard the whole truth. Right now, his face was unreadable_._

"We also need to consider that Fereldans will be needed to replace those Wardens we lost at Ostagar. I don't want to depend on Orlais to do that. Ideally, Alistair would be the best suited to that task; one I know he would prefer to being King." She smiled at her Second.

"I will table this discussion, to give you all time to consider what we have told you. Our next order of business is about the last treaty, which is with the dwarves of Orzammar. I would like Leliana, Alistair, Shale, and Wynne to come with me. The rest of you will stay here. Zevran and Samuel are on a different mission and will return here when they have completed it. We will leave for Orzammar in three days."

Gareth raised his hand. Siobhan nodded. "I request that I and a couple of warriors accompany your group, two from the Chasind army and, by your leave Teagan, two of the Rainesfere troops. I understand that darkspawn are the most prevalent in the deep roads of Orzammar. You may need more assistance."

Siobhan's stomach dropped. She knew he was insistent about this. Trying to think about this as dispassionately as possible, his idea made sense. She just wished it didn't have to include him.

Reluctance colored her tone. "A solid tactical suggestion that would unwise for me to ignore. Your request is granted."

I know this has been a stressful meeting and you have been given a lot of information. We will reconvene tomorrow afternoon, at the same time, where we will discuss and decide how to proceed. For now, _please_ do something enjoyable and relaxing this evening. Dismissed."

Siobhan, Gareth and Alistair, were the only ones left in the dining hall. Gareth looked a both Siobhan and Alistair, his voice fierce. "By the Maker, I will make sure _neither_ of you take that final blow."

Siobhan placed her gauntleted hand on his. "Dearest one, short of actually channeling powers of the Maker, you cannot ensure that."

Alistair looked at Gareth and Siobhan. "Honestly, I'm in favor of using both alternatives."

Siobhan was stunned. "Alistair! One of those ideas includes making a "god-baby" with Morrigan. How can you even consider that?"

"Because the Blight must be stopped, and if Morrigan's ritual works as she says, then it doesn't have to be a Warden who kills the Archdemon. We increase the chances of _someone_ being able to kill it."

Siobhan countered. "And if the ritual doesn't work, we have failed to end the Blight."

Gareth placed one hand each warden's shoulder. "Neither of you are going to see eye to eye on this, and I'm surely not objective. That's why you both shared this information; _listen_ to your companions, Udell, Aya and Fergus. They _will_ come to a consensus on a strategy; you both need to abide by that. Otherwise this meeting was pointless, and cruel."

Siobhan hung her head in defeat, and did not see the look that passed between Alistair and Gareth.


	49. Making Plans

**Chapter 48. Making Plans**

**AN:** _Thank you to Shakespira, Xseikax_ and Eva Galana for thier reviews, an to all who have set alerts, of faved, this story.

Special thanks to my Beta, Nithu.

* * *

Siobhan was thrilled to be able to lift a sword and train. Earlier in the morning, she trained with Gareth and Alistair, and was relieved that she really hadn't lost her technique or strength, just her speed. She really needed to improve her reaction times.

When they finished and put up their weapons, Gareth looked at Siobhan, his face glowing with pride and wonder. "You were a tremendous fighter before but you're ferocious now. Though I wish you hadn't had to hone your skills fighting darkspawn." He gave her a rakish smile. "Maker, woman! How can I misbehave, when you can take my head before I know it?"

Siobhan smiled and whispered in Gareth's ear.

This time, he was the one to blush.

In the afternoon, everyone gathered in the dinning hall to continue the discussion from yesterday. The room was quiet as everyone waited for Siobhan and Alistair to arrive. Since yesterday, there had been many smaller discussions among the party. Everyone felt they understood the situation well enough to, hopefully, reach a consensus.

Siobhan and Alistair walked in, again both of them in their armor, only this time everyone else was in their battle gear as well. Alistair sat down, and Siobhan looked out at all assembled. _Any commander would be Maker-blessed to have this group at their side._

Trying to affect a calmness she didn't feel, she relied on formality. "I officially reopen the discussion from yesterday, regarding the killing of the Archdemon. Alistair and I will abide by any consensus you reach. Please share your comments or ideas. Once we have ideas proposed, Alistair will lead the discussion."

Gareth and Fergus remained silent, as their opinion could hardly be considered unbiased. A murmur spread through out the room. Leliana began.

"We have talked _so much_ about this. Udell and Morrigan, told us quite a lot about their rituals and how likely they are to succeed."

Sten picked up the discussion. "Ending the Blight is where we should be focusing our attention. Nothing else is relevant. Any solution must ensure our success."

Wynne raised her hand. "We thought it would be wise to recruit more Wardens..."

Sten interrupted, "We _must_ recruit more wardens. That is best chance of ending the Blight."

Wynne sighed, "Agreed. However, we also do not want them to simply be sacrificial lambs."

Morrigan was annoyed. "My ritual _will_ succeed. Killing the Archdemon would not require _any_ sacrifice. Your doubt seems misplaced."

Udell spoke, his voice gentle, his conviction strong. "As Sten rightly points out, the only way to ensure success is if a Grey Warden strikes the final blow." Looking at Morrigan, an unspoken challenge in his eyes. "I propose we use both rituals."

_Still, Udell doesn't trust my motives. _"Saving the Grey Wardens is the goal. 'Tis no harm in using Udell's ritual in addition to mine; if his does not succeed, then the Archdemon's soul _will_ be drawn to the child." Morrigan explained.

Alistair nodded. "And if neither these rituals succeed, then the Archdemon's soul will go to the Grey Warden who slays it?"

"Yes." Morrigan and Udell said, in unison.

Siobhan spoke up, "What happens to the child if Udell's ritual works? Will you raise it, Morrigan?"

Morrigan arched an eyebrow. " 'Twould not be my first choice."

"The child can be raised in our tribe." Udell offered.

Wynne raised her hand. "I believe that would depend on the _Father's_ wishes. Alistair, if you were the father, would you want to raise the child?"

Alistair was taken aback by the question. _Clearly, I've received too many blows to the head; I cannot believe that I'm actually speaking about sleeping with Morrigan_. He hadn't even considered raising a child. "I…I'm not sure that I could do that and focus on rebuilding the Wardens."

Gareth looked at Siobhan who nodded. He stood up. "The child needs to grow up feeling loved and wanted, not just the left-overs of a ritual. If the father wishes, Siobhan and I will adopt the child, and the father can have as much contact as he would like."

Alistair bowed to Gareth. "If the child were mine, I would be honored to have you both as its parents_. _So, the idea put forward, is to recruit more wardens to give us the best chance of having a Warden slay the Archdemon. Both Udell and Morrigan will perform their rituals. If Udell's is successful, and the father is willing, Gareth and Siobhan will raise the child. If Udell is not successful, but Morrigan is, she will take the child far away and raise it, and we are not to follow her. Correct Morrigan?"

Morrigan nodded.

"And if neither succeeds, the Warden whose slays the Archdemon will make the ultimate sacrifice. Is that your consensus?"

There were nods through out the room.

Alistair looked at the group. "Does anyone else have another idea or suggestion?"

No one spoke.

"Then I suggest you vote. Given that Wynne, Sten, Leliana, Shale and Morrigan are voting, we have an odd number of people, so there shouldn't be a tie."

Alistair sat down.

Leliana stood up. "All in favor of the idea please raise your hand."

Everyone, quickly, raised his or her hand.

Leliana smiled. "It's unanimous, so there is no need to ask if anyone is opposed, yes?"

Siobhan took a deep breath and stood up. "I thank you for your careful consideration and for your thoughts and ideas. I know this wasn't easy, and I thank Morrigan and Udell for their candidness. Alistair and I could never have gotten where we are now, without each and every one of you. We will go forward with the approved plan. Dismissed."

Everyone left the dinning hall; Siobhan stopped Alistair and motioned for him to sit.

Her voice reflected the stress she felt. "Alistair. I need to undergo the Joining."

"Not yet. Not while we have _so much_ riding on your skills. We have Orzammar to deal with first."

Siobhan sighed. "Alright, let's discuss recruitment."

Gareth who stood casually just outside the hall, smiled.

* * *

Zevran wanted to speak with Ignacio, so they went to Denerim first. Riding horses helped them make good time, even accounting for several scuffles with amateur bandits. While they rode side-by-side Zevran explained many things about life in the Crows, in particular, the training, especially, the job of a _Padrona di Dolore_.

"A _padrona_ is responsible for making sure that a Crow trainee understands torture…by knowing how it feels. This has the added benefit of increasing a Crow's tolerance to pain."

"So, why is she in Ferelden?"

"_Amico mio,_ she is not the only _padrona_ among the Crows, although our naughty sister has been a _padrona_ for a very long time."

"What's Ignacio's connection to the Crows?"

"About two years ago, the Crows set up training facilities in Orlais and Ferelden. In order for the Crows to operate away from Antiva they needed handlers. They are the people who hire agents, purchase potential talent and such. Ignacio is the new Fereldan handler for the Crows. For the _Padrona_ to operate in Ferelden, Ignacio must act has her handler, he also sends Fereldan Crow recruits to her for that part of theirtraining."

"Can a Crow do work on their own?"

"No, no, no. When you are a Crow, you do nothing other than what your handler tells you."

Samuel nodded. So, if Ignacio finds out about the _Padrona's_ side-job…then the Padrona _se morte_"

"Indeed. Your accent is _very_ good, like velvet, very alluring."

"Focus, Zev, focus."

Zevran leered. "Oh, but I am, I am"

They reached Denerim under cover of dark, and took a suite at the Gnawed Noble Inn. Samuel was disguised as a visiting noble and Zevran as his elven servant.

The Gnawed Noble had the advantage of being in the Denerim Marketplace, and thus closer to Ignacio. Additionally, it would be the last place one would expect to find two assassins; the Pearl, a brothel, was the most likely place. The suite was spacious, opulent, and clearly designed for nobles.

Samuel had never seen such luxury, and he spent the first few moments just looking around the suite.

Zevran casually walked into the bedroom. "Clearly this room is meant for foreign _nobleman_, yes. It's beautiful and does not smell like wet dog."

"You forgot the rotting garbage."

"How could I forget that?" Zevran laughed. "So, my handsome spy, is the bed big enough?"

"That entirely depends upon what you have in mind?"

"Did I mention I particularly love four poster beds?"

The next day Zevran had a young boy deliver a message to Ignacio, who was working in the marketplace. Zevran's note had been brief.

**_One of your birds has acquired a cage all her own. I'm sure you agree that all your birds must live in the same cage.  
Please meet me at the Gnawed Noble tonight, one candle past sunset. Come to the front desk and I will find you.  
_**

**_I will explain all when we meet._**

**_Regards,  
A fellow bird watcher_**

"The note is brilliant, Zev"

"I admit. I do have a certain way with words."

"As with other things, as well." Samuel winked.

At the appointed time, Ignacio came to the front desk; Samuel greeted him. "Master Ignacio, would you like a drink? I believe they stock an Antivan brandy."

Ignacio smiled. "I will never turn down an _Antivan_ Brandy.

Drink in hand; Ignacio followed Samuel to the suite's sitting room. Ignacio was very puzzled by Samuel, the wording of the note could have only come from a Crow, and Samuel did not bear _any_ Crow markings.

Zevran emerged from the bedroom. "Ignacio, I thank you for meeting with us. I know you are a busy man so we should get down to business, yes?"

"Yes, which bird are we discussing?"

"The _Padrona_ operating in Amaranthine as a Chantry sister. She goes by the ridiculous Fereldan name of Celwyddwr"

Ignacio's face held no recognition and Zevran smiled. "Come now, Chantry _sisters_ do not have a Crow tattoo, not to mention a tattoo of the symbol of Andraste being speared with a pintel-shaped sword.

Ignacio lifted he head towards the celling and let out a deep breath. "What has she gotten herself into?"

"Her services were purchased by Arl Rendon Howe, to create a forged confession, and to serve as the witness to that confession.

Ignacio's face flushed in anger

"Tch, Tch, such a naughty _Padrona, _is she not, Ignacio? I understand the fee was quite substantial."

Ignacio rubbed his chin. "Zevran, you know I need proof."

"Indeed. Which is why I propose that you accompany us to Amaranthine. I'm sure I can have her give us all the evidence you need."

Ignacio thought about it. He could just go there on his own and deal with the _Padrona_ by himself, however he had to be sure. She was too important to the Crow's Fereldan training for Ignacio to simply take Zevran's word. _One thing I can say about Zevran, he is very good at getting information from the reluctant, far better than I._

Ignacio nodded his head. "I will accompany you. I expect you to be able to deliver solid proof her arrangement."

Zevran smiled. "That goes without say. I just ask one thing?"

Ignacio frowned. "You may _ask_."

"Do not kill her until we have solid evidence to provide to the nobles; after that, she is yours to do with as you will. For that favor, I promise not to implicate the Crows when the evidence is presented."

"I have always maintained that what happened with your _last_ job was between you and Taliesin. If you cross me, Zevran, I will take a very personal interest in your situation."

Samuel was watching the two Crows interact; they were both so calm and collected, as if they were merely talking about the weather.

They set out for Amaranthine the next morning.


	50. Mother isn't Always Right

**Chapter 49. Mother isn't Always Right**

**AN:** Thank you to xseiksx and Shakespira for their reviews and support and to Nithu, my wonderful Beta.

* * *

Ignacio, Zevran, and Samuel arrived in Amaranthine and settled in a large suite at the Crown and Lion, one of Amaranthine's better inns, and across from the Chantry. Before they could pay the good sister a visit, they needed to know her habits. With that in mind, the next morning, Samuel went to the chantry for the day's services. His plain features, average build, and dun-colored hair. allowed him to sit among the attendees without drawing unwanted attention.

During the morning service, Samuel watched, listened to the surprisingly dulcet tones of the _Padrona,_ as she sang the chant.

After the service, Samuel leaned towards the young man next to him. "Excuse me, m'lord, I didn't think Chantry Sisters were allowed to lead the Chant?

The young man smiled. "Mother Cely was only recently elevated."

"Well, that _is_ good news."

"Indeed it is. Did you know that Arl Howe and Bann Esmerelle _personally_ spoke to the Revered mother on behalf of Mother Cely? They explained to her how instrumental she's been in spreading the Chant of Light throughout the Arling."

Samuel nodded. "We _are_ fortunate to have such a devout woman in our Chantry."

Samuel watched Mother Cely. _Maker, she's tall, and built like a dockworker! I can see her being the Mistress of Pain. Just having to look at her would be torture._

* * *

Ignacio and Zevran were just about to eat supper, when Samuel returned. He grabbed one of the turkey legs and threw himself into one of the comfortable chairs. He had eaten half of the leg, before he looked up at Zevran and Ignacio.

"So, my famished friend, did you see our dear _Padrona_." Zevran smiled.

Swallowing another piece of turkey, he smiled conspiratorially. "Oh yes, and Sister Celwyddwr is now _Mother_ Celwyddwr, or Mother _Cely_ as she is refereed to by the locals."

Ignacio snorted.

Zevran laughed. "There is nothing remotely motherly about the _Padrona_. I wonder why she was elevated."

"Apparently, Arl Howe and Bann Esmerelle, personally, spoke to the Revered mother and _extoled_ the Sister's virtues. Sister 'Cely' was only recently elevated to Mother."

Zevran rubbed his chin. "That will make getting her alone much easier. _Amico mio,_ would you be willing to confess your sins to our dear Mother Cely, so you can devote your life to the Chantry?"

Samuel smiled. "Certainly. Obviously, if our dear Arl speaks so highly of her, then who else would I seek out for spiritual guidance?"

"Zevran, I'm starting to understand what you see in Samuel."

"Oh yes, Ignacio, there are _many_ things I see in him."

* * *

The next day, Samuel stayed after services; Mother Cely was tending to the candles next to the altar.

Samuel slowly walked over to her, his voice soft, almost timid. "Excuse me, are you Mother Cely?"

The woman turned, her smile welcoming, if a little forced. "I am. I don't recognize you, though. Have you been in our Chantry before?'

Samuel affected a guilty demeanor, and looked up at Mother Cely. "My…name is James… Sam James, and no, Mother Cely, I'd never been to Chantry services 'till yesterday. That's…that's why I'm here; I've done a lot of bad things, Mother Cely."

"It's clear that your soul is deeply burdened, my child. What isn't clear is why now, and why me?"

"Mother Cely, I'm from one of the outlying farms near the Knotwood Hills. Word reached us of your piety and devotion to teaching the Chant in the Arling. I felt that I needed to seek you out, to confess, and to learn of how I can devote my life to the Chantry."

"What made you decide to repent, Sam?"

"I almost died at the hands of a bandit. I really _should've_ died from my wounds, but I didn't; I felt like the Maker had given me a second chance. So, I took stock of my life and realized that I had wasted most of it, being a sinner."

The Mother studied him closely. "Sam, come with me, we will go somewhere private so I can hear your confession."

The Chantry had a private room for tutoring and study. Mother Cely sat across from Samuel. "What do you wish to confess?"

Samuel spoke of actual events in his life. Omitting, of course, things that would tie him to Arl Eamon or Gareth Mac Tir. When he was done, he hung his head as if the guilt was overwhelming.

Mother Cely put her, rather substantial, hand on his head. "You contrition is sincere, my child. What I suggest is that we meet daily this week and talk about your desire to devote yourself to the Chantry, and what that will mean. We will begin tomorrow, after morning services."

"Thank you…thank you Mother Cely. This means a lot to me."

"As it should, child. I will see you tomorrow."

* * *

Stretching out after a filling dinner, Zevran was grinning, obviously pleased. "Now that Samuel has set up had set up a regular meeting with Mother Cely, we need to plan when and how we will pay, our dear _Padrona_, a visit."

"We need her to be relaxed, unsuspecting; I want your appearance, Zevran, to take her completely by surprise."

Zevran nodded. "I agree, Ignacio." Looking at Samuel. "It is quite interesting what people reveal when they encounter the…unexpected."

Samuel tossed a grape into the air and caught it in his mouth, and then he grinned. "I will make sure Mother Cely suspects nothing."

* * *

Samuel and Mother Cely had begun to establish a routine. They would meet after services, then go to the private room where he and Mother Cely would discuss the Chant and Andraste.

On the fifth day, Mother Cely told Samuel that, two days hence, she would be making a visit to Vigil's Keep to 'tend to some of my flock.'

That night at the inn, the three men discussed this latest development. "Well then, I think I will pay my respects to the _Padrona,_ tomorrow." Zevran was calm, like a snake waiting to strike.

The next day, Samuel and Mother Cely met as usual, She was tutoring Sam on Chantry practices.

"So, we use a pyre because Andraste was also burned?"

"Yes. We also use a pyre so the body is not in danger of demonic possession."

"My mum used to say 'Blessed are the righteous, the lights in the shadow.' Is that from the Chant of Light?"

Mother Cely smiled. "Yes, it is from Ben…" She didn't finish her sentence as she saw Zevran appear from the shadows at the side of the room.

"Interesting things hide in the shadows, wouldn't you agree…_Mother Cely_?"

Shock was the only thing that registered on the woman's face.

Zevran grinned. "I am hurt, do you not recognize your star… pupil?"

Mother Cely looked at Samuel realizing that he was a part of this. Shock gave way to recognition, which gave way to wariness. "Zevran?"

"Tch, Tch, you have been naughty, Mother Cely."

The Padrona stood, her voice and face indignant. "I am the _Padrona di Dolore_ for Ferelden, and this is my cover. Frankly, I am shocked that you don't know that." She sneered. "You're slipping, Zevran."

Zevran, leaning against the wall, looking at his nails, looked up after her brief tirade. "Is it also part of your _cover_ to work for Rendon Howe?"

She could not school her expression fast enough to save her. She looked every bit as exposed as she was.

"Tell me, _Padrona_, exactly how much did he pay for the forged confession? My sources say, twenty sovereigns."

Celwyddwr thought she had figured out the reason for Zevran's visit. "Zevran, I know you run from the Crows and you need coin; you didn't have to resort to such an elaborate plan. I am always willing to help a former pupil, especially one as _talented_ as you."

Zevran leaned towards Celwyddwr. "I wasn't sure your would recognize me, _Padrona_. So, were my sources correct?"

Celwyddwr looked down her nose. "That paltry sum would have been an insult, you need better sources."

A voice came from behind Celwyddwr. "Then you will have no problem giving me a percentage, would you, _Padrona_."

Celwyddwr whirled around, her eyes wide. "Ignacio!"


	51. Giving

**AN:** Thank you to all who have reviewed, read, alerted, faved, it means a lot to me that you are reading an enjoying this tale.

I have a special thank you to **xxseikaxx** who was my **200th** review! I have asked if I could use her name for a character in the story and she happily agreed! She will be introduced later in this chapter and will play an important role as the rolls towards its' conclusion.

* * *

**Chapter 50. Giving **

"Padrona, it has been a while. Too long, it seems."

"Ignacio…I…"

Ignacio held up his hand, his voice firm, but calm. "Stop. I know what you did and I'm _very_ disappointed." He walked behind her and lightly placed a hand on her shoulder. After a moment, he squeezed.

The Padrona was clearly in pain. "Ig…nacio…please…stop."

Loosening his grip, he spoke softly into her ear, "I no longer know where your loyalties lie, Ilaria."

"With the Crows, Ignacio! I just performed this one task for Howe for some extra coin. I know I should have shared it with you, but I was…foolish."

"Foolish? No. Conniving? Yes. I know you. This wasn't a one-time event; you performed this service for Howe to show him how valuable an asset you are." Squeezing her shoulder again. "A Crow has only _one_ master."

She grimaced. "Ig…nacio, what can I do, to prove my loyalty is with the Crows?"

Ignacio released her shoulder. "I want all of the evidence you have on this forgery job."

"Done."

"Then I want you to tell Zevran _everything_ you know about Howe and his plans."

She hung her head. "I…Yes, I will."

"Excellent. Why don't you gather what you need from here and we will go somewhere more _private_ to talk. I have a suite at the Crown and Lion. Samuel, please escort the Padrona as she gathers her things."

Samuel nodded.

Once Samuel and Ilaria left the room. Ignacio looked wearily at Zevran.

"Unfortunately, Zevran, it seems everything you said is true."

"Ignacio, would I lie to you?"

Ignacio simply looked at Zevran.

"Alright, I would lie to you, but not this time. Once we have the information what will you do with your naughty _Padrona_?"

"I haven't yet decided. It depends on how…_playful_ I feel."

Zevran laughed softly. "Like a cat _plays_ with a mouse, I'm sure."

* * *

Siobhan and Alistair were sitting in the dining hall, after the meeting. Alistair leaned back and ran his hand through his hair. "Recruiting? Duncan told me that there was more about recruiting than I knew."

Siobhan pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed deeply. "Alistair, from here on out, I don't think we can use Duncan's words as our guidepost, as a resource yes, but we have to make decisions based on what _we_ think is right."

His head bowed, his eyes closed. "I know."

Siobhan placed her hand on his. "I'm so sorry, I know this is painful to hear and I know how you feel about Duncan."

Alistair looked at Siobhan. "It's ok. I keep remembering what I was told by the Duncan I saw in Haven. I have to let it go and make my own path and I've been working on it. Your advice helped me realize I can do just that. My chosen path, should I survive the Blight, is to build up the Wardens in Ferelden."

Siobhan watched Alistair sit up and square his shoulders. In his eyes, she saw the raw young recruit begin to recede and the increasingly confident warrior coming forward.

Siobhan smiled. "I think we might get an insight into recruiting, by looking at the wardens you know. Aside from you and me, I only know Daveth and Jory. How well did you know the veteran recruits?"

"Not very well. I knew Kester the best; he was a warrior, not nobility, but that's all I know."

"Then we look at our cohort."

"Duncan thought my templar skills would help in fighting Darkspawn mages."

"If that were the case he could have recruited _any_ templar. I believe he was impressed with your compassion and integrity, as well."

Alistair's ears reddened. "Not to mention that he probably didn't want Maric's bastard son to become a lyrium-addled templar."

"Alistair, he wouldn't have recruited you unless he thought you could make it as a Warden."

Ok, I'll agree with that, but what about Daveth? He spent six years in Denerim being a _cutpurse_. Duncan only became aware of him because he tried to steal from Duncan, and got caught. Why would Duncan have given _him_ the honor of being a Grey Warden?"

Siobhan thought back on what seemed like a lifetime ago. "Remember Daveth and Jory talking just before the joining ritual? Jory was starting to worry about dying from it; how he was worried about his wife who was with child?

Alistair nodded.

"Daveth said he'd sacrifice a lot more if knew it would end the Blight. Clearly Duncan didn't care about his previous occupation, Daveth was a good rogue, and clearly understood the threat of the blight."

"But a _criminal_?"

Siobhan ignored that remark. "What about Jory?"

Alistair leaned forward. "Not to speak ill of the dead, but Jory complained the entire time he was with us, and in the end he couldn't get past his fear."

"I believe Jory was picked because he was an excellent fighter; if he'd lived he would have been an asset to the wardens. I think he would've always been condescending and whiny, but he _could_ fight."

"What about Ser Gilmore? If you don't mind talking about him."

Siobhan teared-up a bit but went on. "Rory was the full package; an excellent fighter, smart, honest, dedicated and loyal. He would have made a fantastic warden.

Alistair spoke softly. "Then there's is you."

"No, we will not use my recruitment as an example." The finality was clear in Siobhan's voice.

Standing up and stretching his legs, Alistair paced a bit. "A cutpurse, two Knights, and a rebellious almost-templar. What did we all have in common?"

"The only thing really in common is that you all had useful skills for fighting the Blight. I don't think Duncan looked upon being a Grey Warden as an honor or a reward, _per se._ If he did, you're right; recruiting a career criminal would make no sense."

Alistair looked both surprised, and cross. "Are you saying being a Grey Warden _isn't_ an honor?"

Siobhan thought a moment on how to word her answer. Alistair practically revered Duncan and still looks at the wardens through rose-colored glass. "Alistair, think back to my recruitment, for a moment."

Sarcasm was clear in his voice. "I thought we were _not using your_ recruitment as an example?"

_Alistair is being mulish. He has to see beyond these blasted legends!_

"It wasn't pertinent until now."

Alistair raised an eyebrow.

"I remember what you said while arguing with Duncan, you know that the wardens will use _any means necessary, _because that was what you were arguing against."

Alistair looked puzzled but nodded.

"Alistair, the only things we _know_ about the Wardens are tales that have been handed down for _four hundred_ years. The Grey Wardens were kicked out of Ferelden two hundred years ago, and have only been back for twenty years. We don't really know _anything_ about the Wardens beyond the tales and our own limited experience. You learned from Duncan that the Wardens defeat the Blight using any means necessary. Does that sound like they're going to care about whether the person is a career criminal, if he is a terrific swordsman and agrees to fight the darkspawn?

Alistair sat back down, but remained silent.

Siobhan sat back and waited for him to speak.

"The wardens I met were honorable people, dedicated to fighting darkspawn."

"But you didn't know what they did before they were wardens."

Alistair conceded. "Point taken. So we should look to people who have useful skills, and at least an understanding of the importance of what the Warden's do."

"That's how_ I_ see it. Think about it. We don't have to recruit anyone right now."

Alistair nodded and placed his hand over hers. "You have done so much for me, I don't know that I can ever repay you."

Siobhan smiled. "No need to, this is what _families_ do."

* * *

The next couple of days were a whirlwind of activity. Teagan, Gareth, Adler and Lorcan met to decide which soldiers would accompany them to Orzammar.

Adler was the first to speak. "Kess, is first on my list."

Gareth nodded. "He's an excellent fighter and an introspective man. Who else is on your list?"

"Macht, he has show an interest in learning more about Ferelden, and he has a good head for tactics."

Gareth smiled. "Kess and Macht it is. Teagan and Lorcan, who have you agreed on?"

"I went to Redcliffe to ask my brother if Ser Perth could join us. He was tremendously helpful during the incident with Connor. Very level-headed in a crisis.

"My other choice is Ser Lorcan himself, he has shown a remarkable ability to adapt to new situations, and thinks with his head, not with his sword."

Ser Lorcan bowed at Teagan, "Thank you, my Lord."

Gareth was pleased. "You have chosen good men. Thank you for your work on this. We leave for Orzammar the day after tomorrow at dawn."

* * *

Later that day, Siobhan and Gareth were talking to Fergus and Aya about Bryce.

Teagan spoke first. "Hopefully you won't think this is too presumptuous, but we have found a wet nurse for Bryce. Her name is Lyla, her baby died at birth and she would love to have the opportunity to serve you, Siobhan, by acting as Bryce's wet nurse."

"Why me?"

"She is best friends with Kaitlyn, who's brother is Bevin. Kaitlyn and Lyla were both grateful that you took the time to find him before the attack."

Siobhan was thoughtful. "You were not at all presumptuous, this is one of the many kindness you have shown us during this…madness. Could we meet her tonight?"

Teagan smiled. "Of course, I will make the arrangements."

Once Teagan left, Gareth looked to Aya and Fergus. "Thank you for agreeing to watch over Bryce while we're gone. I cannot imagine two people I would trust more."

Siobhan looked up, and held Gareth's hand, tears filling her eyes. "Fergus, if…if we don't make it back from Ostagar, or if Gareth and I don't survive the Blight, we want you to raise Bryce."

Fergus left his chair and knelt in front of his sister, taking her face in his hands. "Pup, I would have it no other way." Standing up with a grin on his face. "But you are both coming back, if not, I'll find a way to send Aya after you."

"And I will find you." Aya smiled."

As Fergus intended, the sudden levity lightened heaviness in the room.

* * *

Fergus, looking out the window of his bedroom, was pensive after the talk with Siobhan and Gareth about Bryce.

_It's been eight months since I lost Oren and Oriana. I remember the day I left for Ostagar. Oren wanted a s_w_ord; he'd have a habit of pronouncing s-ward. When I mentioned wenches Oren thought I meant a winch. So many memories, when Gareth told me about their deaths, I wanted to die too. If Aya hadn't been there, I'm sure I would have slit my throat one night. _

_Aya. She came into my life like soft breeze. She understood my pain. She became more than my healer she became my friend. She pushed me when I wanted to stop, held me when I needed to grieve, and supported me when I needed to stand. I don't know when it happened, but contemplating a life without her was no longer an option. She healed my shattered soul and in doing so, I was able to believe in a future. I will always miss Oriana, and Aya isn't a substitute, she has a place in my heart all her own._

_Oriana, my love, you and Oren will always have a place in my heart. I will never really get over loosing you both, but it gives some measure of peace to know that neither of you is alone. You have always given me strength my love, even now. Now, I am ready to__ put both feet on this new path to a new__ life._

Fergus came out of his reverie as the call came for dinner.

It was late at night, the estate was finally quiet, and Fergus and Aya were taking a stroll through the garden. Fergus stopped as the moon shone directly on Aya, bathing her in an almost ethereal light. He cupped her face gently in his hand. "Aya, my heart, I love you. I know it's only been eight months, but those months have transformed me. There are no words to tell you much you've touched my life. Despite all the swirling chaos around us, _you_ have been a calm pool of light for me."

"And I love you, _mien helle selle_. You are my life and my light in the darkness."

Fergus pulled her into his arms for a kiss. After a few moments, he looked at the woman in his arms. The one who had, single handedly, healed his shattered soul. "Aya…will you marry me?"

Aya gently stroked Fergus' face. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears, her smile spreading wide. "I will."

Fergus gently kissed her then looked into her eyes. "Do I need to ask your father? Is there some custom I've missed?"

Aya laughed. "My Bright Soul, none of that matters. I do have one question. Where will we live?"

"Are you willing to leave your tribe? If not, then we will live with them."

Aya held his chin in her hand. "Where ever you go, I will go."

Fergus nodded solemnly. "If I can get back my family home, would you live there and be my Teyrna?"

"Would I still get to tease you when you do something foolish?"

"You would do that anyway." Fergus laughed. "However, being Teyrna would give you a chance to tease the nobles who do something foolish"

Aya laughed. "Perfect!"

* * *

Fergus and Aya had decided to keep their engagement secret for now. While Siobhan would be thrilled, it just didn't seem to Fergus that now was the time to tell them. When they returned from Orzammar, they could celebrate.

The day before the group was to leave, Aya took Siobhan aside. "While I have no doubt Wynne is an excellent healer, there are still certain injuries her magic cannot fix. I ask you to please consider taking one of my healers with you, as well. She is very skilled and next in-line to take over my duties of chief healer, and before you ask, yes, I spoke with Wynne and smoothed things over."

Siobhan grinned. _I would have loved to see that meeting. _"Thank you, Aya. That is a generous offer, and I would be an idiot to decline. Can Alistair and I meet with her before we leave? What is her name?"

"Her name is Seika, and you can meet with her right now, we will meet you both in the family room?"

Siobhan smiled. "I will round up Alistair."

Siobhan and Alistair were already in the family when Aya returned with Seika. She looked to be about Alistair's age. She was tall and shapely, with high cheekbones and dark auburn hair. Like most of the Chasind, her skin was lightly tanned, bringing out the red in her hair and highlighting beautiful green eyes.

"Greetings to you both. I'm glad that my skills as a healer will be helpful to you. I have already met with Wynne. We agreed the she will serve as lead healer."

Siobhan thought her to be poised, confident, and friendly. She smiled "It is a pleasure to me you, Seika."

Siobhan looked at Alistair. With a gleam in his eyes, he stood up and bowed. "Seika, you have a beautiful name. My name is Alistair, and I am Siobhan's second in command. Pleased to meet you."

Seika looked from Siobhan to Alistair. "I am pleased to meet you both and am looking forward serve as one of your healers."

* * *

The day came to leave for Orzammar. Gareth and Siobhan spent as much time as they could, holding Bryce. Siobhan had met Lyla, and was immediately taken by her gentle nature. Her husband, Kyle, was an apprentice smith, and was supportive of his wife being a wet nurse, especially to the woman who had done so much for so many.

Aya took Bryce when the time came to leave. She looked at Gareth and Siobhan. "You take care of yourselves and _do not worry_ about Bryce. He will be fine with us. You just focus on getting the Dwarves to honor that treaty."

Gareth smiled. "Yes, ma'am!"

Aya looked at Siobhan. "Does he always take orders that well?"

Siobhan simply laughed.


	52. Cupid's Arrow, Death's Scythe

**AN: ** With the quests done, we are in the home stretch. Thank you to all who have followed and reviewed this story, especially to Shakespira for her continued support. A special thanks to Nithu, who patiently beta-ed over thirty of these chapters.

Bioware owns all. I just play in their said box.

**Chapter 51. Cupid's Arrow, Death's Scythe**

As they left the boarders of Rainesfere, Alistair noticed that Seika looked a bit nervous; he slowed his walk so he would be able to walk next to her. He gave the healer a friendly smile. "Seika, I'm not as familiar as Fergus is with Chasind healing practices. Could you explain it to me, or if you think it's too complicated, could you just give me an idea of what it is? Assume that I know nothing…about healing that is."

Seika was relieved to talk about something familiar. "Wynne and I determined that her healing skills are best for physical wounds, mine would be best suited to illness of the body or mind, and poisons.

"You can heal poisonings without an antidote?" Alistair was surprised.

Seika nodded. "The Korcari Wilds are rife with poisonous plants for which there are no convenient antidotes."

Alistair listened and found himself enraptured by the soothing tone of her voice and the intelligence in her beautiful eyes.

"All healing is done with the aid of songs. There are three stages to a healing. First, the healer sings to determine the exact nature of the problem. If it's a poisoning or an illness, the healer learns the nature of that intrusion.

Alistair arched an eyebrow. "Intrusion. Interesting choice of words."

Seika smiled. "If you think about it, illness and poisons _are_ intrusive. Once the healer diagnoses the problem, their song changes to one that summons a spirit."

"Are these spirit like what we have in the Fade?"

"I have heard of the Fade, but there is another realm, as you have recently been made aware, the realm of essence."

"Ah. I understand."

"These sprits have been gifted to us by our ancestors to act as helper spirits. The healer and the helper spirit work together. If it is an illness, we extract the intrusion. When an illness is extracted, it goes through the healer and the helper spirit destroys its essence. In the case of a poisoning, the healer and spirit would to change the poison's make up, so it dissipates and no longer harms the flow of the body's energy."

"Wow! That's amazing. Do all healers do that?

"We each have our specialty. Obviously I specialize in illness and poisons. Some specialize in healing the physical body. Aya, our chief healer, specializes in all three, which is why she was Fergus' healer. Aya she has been training some of us to be her successor, if the needs arises."

What kind of songs do you sing?"

"They aren't songs in the sense you are used to, these are short, repeated verses, and the speed and rhythm change during the ritual to attune to the patient and to the helper spirit."

"Can you sing one of them for me?"

Seika smiled. "This is the song we used to diagnose.

_In den unruhigen Seele erreiche ich  
zeig mir deine Schmerzen,  
Zeig mir deine Trauer."_

Alistair thought the Chasind language to be a bit harsh, but the way the Seika sang the words it sounded like a gentle breeze feels. Seika's voice flowed over him, embracing him in it's soothing sound.

As this wasn't a ritual, Seika only sang it twice.

"Can you translate it into Fereldan?"

"The lyrics, yes, but not the tune.

_In the troubled soul, I reach.  
Show me your pain.  
Show me your grief,"_

Alistair cleared his throat. "Now, that I have barraged you with questions. Do you have any for me?"

"Yes, in fact, I do, but could we talk about them in camp tonight?"

Alistair smiled. "Yes, I'd like that."

Siobhan who had been watching and listening, smiled to herself. _I believe Seika as made an indelible impression on my Second._

After camp was set-up and dinner had been eaten, Alistair and Seika sat together near the campfire.

He turned to Seika. "Tell me what you already know about our situation and I'll try to fill in the blanks."

Seika looked thoughtful for a moment. "I understand that it is the presence of the Archdemon that makes this a Blight. I know about Grey Wardens, and how only a Warden can kill this demon, and I know you have treaties you are calling on for aid."

Alistair was impressed. "You have all the basics. The Archdemon is one of Old Gods; the darkspawn search them out. When they find the Old God, the darkspawn corrupt it and it becomes an Archdemon. Lore has it that there are seven Old Gods, and as this is the fifth blight. It _suggests_ that there are only two Old Gods left and therefore only two more blights. But I'm not convinced. At all."

"Why are you unconvinced?"

"The one thing I have learned from this experience is that evil always finds a way."

Seika nodded, and noticed the grief in his eyes; she placed her hand on his and hummed for a few moments. Alistair looked at her in wonder. "What did you do?"

Seika smiled, "Just tune that helps sooth the mind."

"Sorry, I have a tendency to brood when I think about Duncan. He was our Commander in Ferelden, and was killed at Ostagar. In many ways he was like a father to me. Your tune lifted my spirits. Thank you.

"Regarding the treaties, we have one with the Dalish, with circle mages, and with the Dwarves. We only have the dwarves left. _Then_, unfortunately, we have to deal with the political mess of the throne, so Ferelden no longer tears itself apart. _Then_ we can focus on ending the Blight."

Seika smiled. "I have another question, but not about the Blight."

"Ask away."

A faint flush colored her cheeks. "Tell me about yourself. I know much about Siobhan from having been around Gareth, but I know little about you, other than you're a warden and a very formidable warrior."

With only a little encouragement from Seika, Alistair told her about his parents, where he was raised, his time in the Chantry and being recruited by the Wardens. Surprisingly for Alistair, he didn't all feel tongue-tied _Who am I, and where is Alistair? _

"What about _your_ life, Seika?"

"My parents both passed on when I was very young; I was _told_ it was some kind of illness that spread through several of our tribes."

"You have doubts?"

Seika sighed. "Yes, I have many doubts about this mystery illness, but nothing concrete."

"That must make their deaths hurt even more."

"Thank you, Alistair. Many of my people don't understand that. Well now, as I've shared the depressing part of my life, I should tell you one of my _mis_adventures. When I was younger I had a habit of getting into trouble, nothing bad, just silly."

Alistair chuckled. "Tell me one."

"I was maybe fourteen summers and I thought the tribe's newest apprentice hunter, Liris, was the handsomest man I'd ever seen." Seika rolled eyes. "I would follow him around the village. Every time he smiled at me, I would blush and giggle…the poor man. Anyway, one day I decided that I was going to get a kiss from Liris."

"What was your plan?"

"I knew the route that Liris took on his solo hunting trips. On the return path, there was a stone footbridge over a stream. The bridge was narrow, only one person wide.

Alistair laughed. "I think I see where this is going."

Seika nodded. "I stood in the middle of the bridge and when I saw Liris, I yelled, 'Someone help me, I've dropped my clan necklace in the steam!' Liris stepped onto the bridge and told me not to cry, that we would find the necklace. He asked where it had fallen and I leaned down to point, making Liris stand right next to me so he could look were I was pointing. His face was right next to mine, so I thought _this is my chance_. I threw my arms around his neck and went in for the kiss." Seika was blushing. "Liris was so surprised that he jumped, I slipped and fell into the water…along with Liris."

Seika's eye twinkled with merriment and Alistair was laughing so hard, he was holding his sides.

"Needless to say, I didn't get my kiss."

* * *

About a week after Siobhan's party left Rainesfere, Zevran and Samuel returned from Amaranthine.

It was early afternoon and Teagan had just come in from the stables. "By the Maker, it's _good_ to see you both! Go settle in, eat, and rest, if you need to. Meet me and Fergus in the study for some pre-dinner drinks and we can talk about what you found out."

"My handsome Bann, it is good to see you as well. I think drinks in your study is a wonderful idea, as we have much to discuss." Looking at his partner. "Samuel, shall we _retire_ for a few hours?"

"I 'm looking forward to lying on a nice soft bed, but I don't feel the least bit sleepy."

Zevran grinned. "Perhaps some time on your back will be refreshing enough."

Samuel nodded. "I think you may be right."

As the two men went upstairs, Teagan shook his head and smiled.

Fergus, who had walked in moments ago, chuckled. "Zevran has a talent for making the simplest thing sound as it it's from an erotic novel."

"It's a gift."

At three candle marks before dinner the four men settled in the study, each with a glass of Antivan Brandy

Fergus put his aching leg on the ottoman. "I hope you both bring some good news. We could use some."

"Fergus, Teagan, I think you will be _quite_ pleased." Samuel smiled.

Zevran turned his glass, watching the color of the fine brandy as it swirled around, then turned his eyes to the men. "It took very little effort to get our dear _Padrona_ to appreciate the gravity of her… predicament; once she did, she was a veritable fountain of information. Samuel, please show Fergus, the documents."

Samuel smiled, excitement in his eyes. "It seems that the _Padrona_ was smart enough to demand the request from Howe in writing, and the job was important enough to Howe, for him to agree." Taking out the documents from his satchel with a flourish, as he handed them to Fergus

As Fergus read through the parchments, the tension in his shoulders lessened. When he looked up, his eye held both anger and relief.

"Fergus?" Teagan was eager to know.

Fergus had been in a trance and started at the sound of Teagan's voice. "Oh, sorry. There are two documents here, one is the request from Howe to prepare the forged confession, and the other is a small sample of my Father's handwriting; probably something Howe stole from father while visiting him."

Teagan was elated. "That's enough to remove the treason charge from the Couslands and implicate Howe."

"Ah, but that is not the _only_ information to spring forth from the naughty _Padrona_."

"Zev, you tease. Tell them or I will spoil your thunder by telling them myself."

"Ah, _Caro_, this is just dramatic effect; later I will show you how I _tease_. It seems that the _Padrona_ has her fingers in other pies. She found out that our dear Queen has been dealing with an Orlesian Bard, who had been working with Howe. Rumor has it that just after Siobhan and Gareth were married, Anora arranged with the bard to blackmail our dear Arl."

Teagan sat back, his eyes wide. "Maker! Anora is playing Howe?"

Zevran nodded. "It was the _Padrona's_ opinion, that Howe and Anora are double crossing each other, and that neither knows what the other is doing."

Fergus looked stunned. "Zevran, you mean Anora and Howe are…working together?"

"So it would seem."

Fergus stood up and paced. "I wish Gareth was here, he would have a better insight into Anora's mind."

Teagan's voice was calm. "Fergus, they will be back soon enough. I know it's hard, but try to be patient."

All Fergus could do, at that point was nod.

* * *

Howe had been visiting Amaranthine when a sister from the Chantry came to his office and closed the door. After some murmuring, Howe's voice sounded loud and clear.

"What do you mean she's _dead_?"

~~~oOOo~~~

Ignacio was back in Denerim, sitting at his desk, penning a note to his contact in Antiva.

_Amico Mio,_

_I regret to tell you, that your mistress fell ill and unexpectedly passed away._

_The healer and I believe she just spent too much of herself tending to too many of the faithful._

_Regards,_

_Naci_

* * *

The chain of command had been established before they left Rainesfere. Siobhan as Commander of the Fereldan Grey would act as Commander for the whole party, with Alistair still as her second. Gareth was directly responsible for Kess, Macht, Seika, Ser Perth and Ser Lorcan.

Fortunately, they had yet to see many darkspawn. The quiet allowed Kess, Macht, and Seika to spend time getting to know the rest of the party. Gareth and Siobhan keenly felt absence of their son, but the thought of having him here with them was frighteningenough to help overcome their sadness.

It was the third night on the road. In their tent_, _Siobhan had head on her husband's chest, playing with his chest hair. Save for the footsteps of Kess and Leliana, who were on watch, all was quiet outside.

Gareth stroked her hair, the chuckled. "Have you noticed Alistair and Seika?"

"You would have to be blind not to notice them. It's sweet though."

"Alistair was raised in the Chantry. While traveling did you get a sense of… um..."

Siobhan laughed. "Yes, he's a virgin. It came up in a conversation about our wedding."

Gareth's kept his voice soft and low. "As we're going forward with Morrigan's plan, if Alistair is the one who has to…participate, I would hate his first time be with someone he so obviously hates."

Siobhan sat up a bit, leaning on her arm. "I'm so glad I'm not the only one who is worried about that."

"Will he consider getting drunk and going…"

"No! Alistair will never go to a brothel, and he will not have sex with someone he doesn't care about."

"A true gentleman it seems."

Siobhan looked into Gareth's eyes. "Perhaps, but no one is the kind of gentleman you are."

Gareth took Siobhan in his arms and rolled her over so she was under him. "And what kind of gentleman am I, my Lady?"

"One who knows when not to be gentle, of course."

"Saucy wench. Just wait till we have a private room with a bed. In the meantime…I will endeavor to be as gentle as possible." Pulling her close they kissed, soon soft moans were the only other sounds in the camp.

* * *

They arrived in Orzammar. A city dug out of solid rock. As they entered, Siobhan was amazed at the majestic carvings adorning buildings, ans how it was impossible to see the ceiling through the impenetrable darkness above.

With the King of Orzamar dead, Siobhan found that they had to wait until a new king was crowned before they could even present their treaty. Siobhan knew that they were going to be here longer than expected, so she set up accommodations for everyone in the Diamond Quarter.

Originally the Dwarves were going to 'give the honor' to the Commander, her Second and the Commander's husband. Siobhan said that she did not want to split up her party and if they could not all stay there, neither would she. Not wanting to embarrass the nobles by having such an important guest stay in the commons, the steward managed to accommodate everyone in the Diamond Quarter.

Siobhan had set Leliana the task of finding out all she could about both contenders for the throne, Harrowmont and Behlen. Leliana took Ser Perth to help her. On the third day, everyone was in the common area of their quarters to talk about what Leliana and Perth found.

"Before we begin, I want to thank Ser Perth and Leliana for gathering the necessary information."

Leliana smiled. "It turns out that dwarves are very open about their political problems."

"Given the right incentive." Ser Perth added.

Siobhan chuckled. "I don't want to know what incentives you used. I just thank you for using them. So what did you find out?"

Leliana began, "There is a clear division between followers of Prince Behlan and Lord Harrowmont. Behlen is staking his claim by being the last living son of King Endrin. Harrowmont is making his claim by saying Endrin _asked_ Harrowmont to take his place, and _not_ Behlen. Of course this conversation was not heard by anyone else. It was on King Endrin's deathbed and only Harrowmont was there.

Alistair chuckled. "That's very convenient."

Leliana smiled. "Indeed. Ser Perth did a lot of research into the political system here." She motioned to the Knight.

"Let's just say that Dwarven politics makes the Orlesians look like amateurs, and let's just hope Orlais doesn't adopt a caste system. Basically, those in the Harrowmont camp are the traditionalists; they want to do things as they have always done. Behlen supporters want change, loosening of the caste system, and opening up Orzammar to trade..."

Siobhan looked at Ser Perth. "Why do I hear a catch in this mire?"

"Dwarves in both Behlen's _and_ Harrowmont's camps think that Behlen's an underhanded bastard, who would sell you water if you were on fire. Let's just say, people may want him to be King, but they don't trust him."

Gareth raised an eyebrow. "Even though his supporters don't trust him, they still want him as King?"

"That's Dwarven politics" Perth and Leliana said in unison.

"So if we want to move this along, _we_ have to choose sides and push?" Siobhan was clearly annoyed.

Leliana nodded.

Alistair sounded resigned. "For once it would be nice if someone said, 'Of course we'll honor the treaty.' Instead of 'we can't honor the treaty until you clean up our shit, that has been piling up for several generations."

Everyone chuckled.

Siobhan looked out over the group. "We will go with Behlen, unless something comes up that is too much to overlook."

The day the treaty was ratified, Siobhan wrote in her journal.

_As long as I live I will never understand why people make their own lives so complicated. In the end it didn't matter who __we__ decided to support, we needed the word of a living Paragon (a very revered dwarf), to break the deadlock. In our case, that would be Paragon Branka, the only living paragon. Problematic as, first, she didn't care who took the throne, and second, we had to kill her. You would think our quest was doomed. Ha! Think again. Our savior turned out to be a paragon that had been alive since the First Blight, Caridin of the smith caste, the oldest paragon._

_Caridin became a paragon when he created the Anvil of the Void, An anvil that turned dwarves into Stone Golems, on a strictly volunteer basis mind you, until a King Valtor wanted more. Caridin ended up a victim of his own anvil and had been trapped for at least a thousand years. He wanted us to destroy the anvil so he could end his life and stop Golems from ever again being made. _

_This is part where we had to kill Branka. She wanted the anvil saved to make more Golems, and it wouldn't have been on a volunteer basis. _

_To make a long, tedious story short, in return for helping Caridin, he crafted a crown and told me to crown whoever I thought best. This is a sort of good news bad news thing. Finally having a king who would vow to honor the treaty is good. That I had to choose the King and abandon any remaining shred of neutrality is bad._

_Then I had an idea. We had been traveling with a dwarf named Oghren, who was Branka's husband. I promise to devote a whole entry to Oghren, for now let's just say… nope, there are no words to summarize Oghren. _

_Anyway, in the end I asked Oghren to make the choice, He shrugged, belched and said that they were all 'sodding nug humpers.' but he thought Behlen at least had more balls than Harrowmont._

_Not the best way to choose a King, but at least a dwarf made the final decision._

_So, after a long trek across the Deep Roads, two paragons, and a hideous creature called a Broodmother, we made it back to the Diamond Quarter, we have a king, and we are leaving tomorrow for Rainesfere. _

_And yes, Oghren is still with us._

* * *

The trip back to Rainesfere was like trip into the void.

About three days from Rainesfere, the party was attacked by over twenty darkspawn.

Siobhan had battle strategies for many situations, including this one. "Alright everyone, let's do it as planned, and kick some darkspawn ass!"

Lorcan and Kess, were near Wynne and Seika to protect the healers. Leliana found a good vantage point from which she coulld shoot arrows into the horde. Shield partners on the frontline were Shale and Perth, Gareth and Macht, and Alistair and Siobhan. Siobhan figured that having the frontline comprised of partners would allow them to be more responsive to the movement of the Darkspawn.

In the middle of the battle Lorcan began to move close to the front line. Siobhan saw him. "Lorcan! Get back to your position NOW."

Just as Siobhan finished her command, Lorcan took an arrow to the chest, and dropped where he was standing.

Wynne tried several spells, and realized that Lorcan was dead before he hit the ground.

After half the darkspawn were killed, Siobhan took another look at the terrain. "Alright, lets push these bastards down hill!" Forcing the darkspawn to fight on the downslope gave the party just enough force to finish off the remaining darkspawn.

As soon as the fight ended, Siobhan turned around. She saw Lorcan lying on the ground clearly dead. Pushing that out of her mind and looking at the rest of the group. "Injuries?"

Wynne reported. "Macht has taken several hits, but none are in vital areas. Seika take care of him and apply poultices. Kess had been hit in the leg and it's badly bleeding, Siobhan, more vials of lyrium. Siobhan thought darkly, _Kess was_ _probably hit by the same darkspawn that killed Lorcan_.

While Seika was applying poultices to Macht, she looked up at the group. _Something's not right. I sense...I sense corruption! It isn't Alistair, or anyone who was at range. The darkspawn have poisoned someone!_

Seika finished with Macht and ran to the warriors. "One of you has been infected with the darkspawn taint."

Gareth paled. "Who? Shouldn't they be feeling it by now?

Alistair was very worried. "Not necessarily. Seika, is there a way you can tell?"

Seika nodded, closed her eyes and sang. Her hair waved in a breeze summoned by her song. When she finished she looked at the group, sorrow on her face, as she was about to speak, when the silence was pierced with "Maker, it's me!"

Everyone looked as Ser Perth fell to his knees.


	53. The Puzzle Unfolds

**Chapter 52. The Puzzle Unfolds**

**AN:** Thank you to everyone who reads, reviews, have set alerts, and have faved. A special thanks to Shakepira for her continued support. as well as Seika. A special thanks to my wonder, ever-patient Beta, Nithu.

I doubt I will have another post up by Christmas, so Happy Holidays to you all

* * *

Siobhan, who was closest to Ser Perth, eased him down to the ground. "Stay with me, Kyle Perth." She looked up at Alistair, the question was clear. He nodded.

Siobhan looked at the fallen Knight, she could already see the veins of corruption start to moving up his neck. "Kyle, there is a way to help you, but it would mean making you a Grey Warden.

Kyle moaned in pain, then looked at Siobhan. "It's either that or dying, right?"

Siobhan nodded. "There is still a chance that you won't live through the process of becoming a warden."

Perth put his hand on Siobhan's arm. "Do what you need. One chance is… better than none. If you and Alistair are examples… of what it is to be a warden…then I would consider it… an honor."

Alistair retrieved some fresh darkspawn blood and handed all the ingredients to Wynne for mixing. "Alistair, it was wise of you to bring the joining supplies."

"Thanks Wynne. I couldn't risk Loghain finding them."

Siobhan looked around unhappily at the large clearing. _Maker's sake,_ w_e're wide open for an attack. _"Alistair, pitch a tent next to me and Kyle." Looking at the rest of the party. "Except for Wynne, Seika and Macht…"

"Commander." Macht interrupted Siobhan as he stood up. "I can stand guard as well."

Siobhan looked at Seika. "Is he ok?"

"Yes, Commander."

"Great! Gareth, _Macht_, Shale, Oghren, and Leliana, in that order; create a five-foot perimeter around the tent, and keep watch. Wynne and Seika, bring Kess within the perimeter behind Shale. Under _no_ circumstances is _anyone_ to come into the tent until either Alistair or I say so. "

Once Alistair pitched the tent they brought Perth inside. Siobhan was praying that they weren't too late. Through the tent flap, Wynne handed Alistair a large vial. When she left, he closed the flap securely.

Alistair knelt next to Kyle with the vial in his hand. "Since the first, these words have been spoken at this ceremony: Join us, brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be forsworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten. And that one day we shall join you."

He handed the vial to Perth, whose hands were shaking, but he held the vial and downed its contents.

He was clearly in pain; he grabbed his throat briefly; his eyes turned white and he fell back into Siobhan's arms. She looked at him and looked at Alistair. "Praise the Maker. He lives. Alistair, can you stay with him while I scout a better place to camp?"

"I should do that."

"No, I want _you_ here when he awakens. You have _much_ to tell him."

"Be careful Siobhan."

Once outside the tent she announced, "Kyle is resting and will be alright. Alistair will let you know if and when he wants visitors." She sensed tension between Seika and Wynne.

"Wynne, could you come with me to look for a better place to camp?"

"Of course." Wynne didn't see the look of relief on Seika's face.

* * *

Rendon Howe paced as he mulled over the news the news of Mother Celwyddwr's death.

_She didn't have a _lung infection_; she was _murdered_. We tipped our hand too far, after Ostagar, showing the confession to the Bannorn. I warned Loghain! _Hetook a few deep breaths to calm down. _The murder was simply a _Cousland-loving thug_ out for revenge. Yes, that's what it was. Although Celwyddwr cannot give testimony… I'm sure Revered Mother will attest to the poor Mother's truth and piety, especially after a…donation in the departed Mother's name. _

_Then there's the matter of correspondence between us regarding the confession. Hag! She practically blackmailed me into putting it into writing. _Howe stopped pacing and smiled. _She assured me that all was hidden in place only she knew and only she could access, perhaps now that she is dead, her secret will die with her. _

A knock on the door interrupted Howe's thoughts.

"Enter."

A young elven servant appeared. "My Lord Grace, Regent Loghain has arrived and requests your immediate presence in the library."

Howe took a moment to run his eyes over her. _She must be one of the new girls Varel hired_. _She would be such a delightful afternoon diversion._ Looking at her face. "I will be there right away. Also, I require your assistance later this afternoon. Be here at two candles before sunset."

The servant looked at Arl Howe, fear clearly in her eyes. "Yes…My Lord."

As she left the room Howe smiled broadly. _The ones who show fear are always the most…exhilarating._

Howe met Loghain in the library. Loghain was the embodiment of rage. The glare in his eyes, the deep furrows in his brow, the thin line of his lips, his stance, and even the way his arms were crossed expressed one emotion, murderous rage.

_I must tread carefully, _"Sire, welcome to my home. I am _honored_ to have you here."

Loghain's voice was calm and deadly. "Were you aware that Eamon recovered?"

Howe stood shocked.

"That's what I thought." Loghain moved fast and slammed the Arl against the wall. "One of the largest thorns in my side _lives_, and I have to find out by _overhearing it from servants_!"

Trying to placate the Regent. "Sire, I..I sincerely apologize. I've…foolishly let my responsibilities in Amaranthine get in the way of my service to you."

"Then you will stay at the Palace. So you can DO YOUR JOB."

"Of course, Sire, my staying at the palace is an _excellent_ idea."

Loghain let go of Howe. "Start packing, we leave in one candle." He left without waiting for a response from Howe.

_Eamon alive! Maker, how? Loghain is right, I can command a better stream of information from Denerim that I can from here. _Howe grinned_. After all I am now the Arl of Denerim."_

* * *

It was early afternoon when a very solemn party, carrying a bier, arrived at Rainesfere. Adler went to meet them. After a quick scan of the party he knew that Lorcan's body was in the bier. He looked to Siobhan. "Commander, where would you like us to place Ser Lorcan's body?"

"For now, bring him into the estate. Bann Teagan will have to make that decision."

Adler gave out two short whistles and three soldiers appeared, one was Connell from Rainesfere.

Adler motioned to Connell. "Please find the Bann and have him meet us in the main hall."

Connell nodded, he too had figured out who was in the bier. "Right away."

Without being told, the other two soldiers quickly relieved Gareth and Macht of the bier and headed towards the estate. Siobhan motioned to Alistair and Kyle. "I will inform Teagan about what happened to you, Kyle. We also need to make the Arl aware of your situation."

Teagan, Fergus, and Udell were waiting for them in the main hall; the bier was already on a stand.

An exhausted Siobhan looked at the three men. "There is much to do and to tell. The most important will be tending to Ser Lorcan's pyre. Teagan, you were his liege lord, let us know what you want done."

"Siobhan, I will take care of Ser Lorcan's pyre, we'll have it just before dusk."

"Thank you Teagan. Right now I want my party to go to get some rest."

"I will make sure baths are available for you all."

"Thank you. I do need to talk with you after supper, but the rest of our news can wait until tomorrow."

Teagan's eyebrow rose, but nodded. "Our news can wait for tomorrow as well. After supper come to my study and we can speak."

Siobhan gave him a tired smile, and then she looked at the party. "I want everyone to go to go rest; I don't want to see any of you until it's time for the Ser Lorcan's pyre."

Siobhan was just about ask Fergus about Bryce, when Aya walked in. "Bryce is down for his nap, but he should be waking up shortly." She leaned towards Siobhan's ear. "Have you dried up yet?"

"Not quite. Do you think I should try to nurse him?"

Aya smiled. "Of course you should try. If you cannot, Lyla is here."

"There are no words for what you and Fergus have done for me and Gareth."

"Well, _now_ is not the time to stand here and think of some, shoo. Go upstairs and see your son." Aya smiled.

Siobhan and Gareth walked upstairs. When they entered the bedroom, Bryce was still asleep. Gareth and Siobhan just stood there watching him. Siobhan slipped her hand into Gareth's and squeezed it. Her voice was a tear-filled whisper. "He's gotten bigger in the short time we were gone." Gareth squeezed back, wiping tears from his eyes.

After standing enjoying a quiet family moment, both husband and wife shed their armor and clothing. The bath had arrived and with Bryce asleep, they sunk into the tub. Gareth sat behind her as they bathed, enjoying the warmth of the water, of each other, and the joy of being clean.

Gareth helped Siobhan out of the bath. As she dried off Siobhan noticed that her breasts were tender. Just then Bryce started fuss. Still naked, Siobhan went to him, he was dry but was obviously hungry. Siobhan sat on their bed and tried to nurse Bryce, milk came out but Bryce acted like he didn't want it or didn't like it. Siobhan looked up at Gareth, who was dressed, her tears filled her eyes. "Please get Lyla."

When Lyla came in, Siobhan was in a robe. She handed Bryce to her and he immediately latched on and nursed. Siobhan stayed while Lyla nursed.

"How has he been feeding?"

"My Lady, he has a very healthy appetite, and he's already longer and heavier than when you left. I think he is going to be a big man."

Siobhan smiled. "Even when he grows up, he'll still be my _wee man_."

After Bryce fed, he began to fuss. "Lyla, let me take him and see if he needs to burp. Thank you again for doing this"

" 'Tis a pleasure and an honor to help, My Lady."

"Please, call me Siobhan."

Lyla nodded and left the room.

Siobhan held Bryce. He looked at her face and cooed in her arms. "_A stóirín_, you are a wonderful sight." She laid Bryce on the bed, and then the she lay on her side curled up next to him. She was playing with and kissing his wiggling hands when Gareth returned. He curled up on the other side of the bed; Bryce was now surrounded by his parents, who couldn't get enough of him. After a while, Bryce started to look sleepy.

"Time for your early evening nap, my wee man." Siobhan rocked him in her arms for a bit, and laid him down just before he fell asleep.

"_Cariad_, it's time for the Ser Lorcan's pyre." Gareth gently reminded her.

"I know."

* * *

Loghain and Howe arrived from Amaranthine via carriage. Loghain had been absolutely silent for the entire ride, simply looking out the carriage window.

Finally, Howe could no longer stand it. "Sire, how is the Queen?"

Loghain turned to look at Howe. His face was stony. "She is…well."

"Sire, is there a problem?"

Loghain let out a frustrated sigh. "Anora keeps demanding me to allow the Orlesian wardens and chevaliers to cross the boarder. Every time I see her she argues in favor of the _Orlesians."_

"Hmm, that _is_ troubling. I would _never_ have thought Anora would champion _anything_ _Orlesian_. Perhaps, once I'm settled in at the Denerim estate, I can extend an invitation to her to visit me. The Queen welcomes the new Arl."

"What would that accomplish?"

"Well, Sire, as you have _so much_ on your mind, the _endless_ fights with Anora must be simply _draining_. A visit with me, will give you a much-needed break. I can also make sure she doesn't take the border situation into her _own_ hands."

"You're right, Anora is perfectly capable of giving an order to have it done and I do need a break. Settle in quickly, Rendon."

"_Of course_, Sire."

* * *

The pyre was held before dusk, Teagan spoke a few words of tribute to the fallen Knight, as did Perth and Adler. After a solemn supper, Teagan and Siobhan met in the study. He could tell from Siobhan's eyes that news wasn't good.

"First, let me tell you that we were outnumbered by darkspawn, Ser Lorcan died in battle." _Because he disobeyed orders._

Teagan nodded.

Siobhan took a deep breath and let it out. "During the same battle that killed Ser Lorcan, Ser Perth was infected with the darkspawn taint. His choices were to die of blight sickness or have a chance by becoming a Grey Warden. He chose to become a Warden, he went the Joining and is now a Grey Warden, and under my command."

"Maker!" Teagan sat back, with a look of surprise. "Kyle Perth, a Grey Warden? From what I know he has to gives up his title and can no longer serve as a Knight of Redcliffe."

"You are quite correct. The question I have is…"

"…how to tell Eamon." They said at the same time

Siobhan smiled. "As Warden Commander the actual information needs to come from me, any advice?"

"Be direct and answer as many of his questions as you can. I take it Eamon cannot refuse to accept Ser Perth's release."

"You're right, he cannot. I'll see the Arl first thing tomorrow, and I'll bring Kyle with me."

"As Ser Per…Kyle was temporarily under my command, I should go as well."

"No, this is a Grey Warden matter, and you bear no fault in this situation. It happened under _my_ Command, this is _my_ job."

"I would give a sigh of relief, but that would be selfish."

Siobhan smiled."Don't feel so bad. If I were in your shoes right now, I would be dancing a jig."

Siobhan stood and stretched. "I am going to tuck my body into a soft bed and sleep. Good night."

"Good night, Siobhan"

* * *

Once settled at the palace, Howe frantically tried to contact Marjolaine. All of his usual contacts came up with nothing.

_Perhaps she's gone back to Orlais? As long as she stays there, things will be fine…no…No! She is a danger to me. She knows all about the forgeries, she was the one who gave me the false information about Bryce. _Thinking back to their time together, Howe slammed his hand against his desk. _Damn, that whore for using her bardic tricks. "Pillow talk" she called it. Maker, I don't even remember what I said._

Even the thought of how satisfied she made him feel, did not relieve Howe's anger. Then he thought a moment. _The Crows own me one for failing to kill the Wardens. If anyone can find her, they can"_

With a much lighter step, Howe went into the bedroom where his regular afternoon diversion was waiting for him.

* * *

Siobhan and Kyle were waiting in the Arl's study. Kyle was nervous. Siobhan put a hand on his shoulder. "Kyle, you have done nothing wrong; you have served honorably. You're going to make a terrific warden."

Just then Eamon walked into the study and sat down across from Siobhan and Kyle. "Greetings to you Commander, Ser Perth. What brings you both here?"

"Arl Eamon, I will get straight to the point. Ser Perth was with us as we battled a rather large group of darkspawn and was poisoned with their taint."

"Blight sickness?"

"Yes. I gave him a choice; die from the sickness or risk a _chance_ of death by becoming a Grey Warden. Ser Perth chose to become a Warden."

Surprisingly, Eamon's eyes were melancholy. He looked at Kyle. "I remember you when you first became my squire. You were, and still are, tough, tenacious and loyal, with a good heart and a level head. You'll be an asset to the Wardens, and I will miss you."

"Thank you, Arl Eamon. It was an honor to be in your service."

"Kyle can you wait outside? I have some additional business with your Commander."

"Of course My Lord, Commander."

Once alone, Eamon looked at Siobhan. "I trust you have all of the treaties wrapped up?"

"Yes, Orzammar was our last."

Excellent! I will call for the Landsmeet; it will take a while for everyone to get to Denerim. However, I would like to get there well before them. Loghain has been in Denerim long enough to strengthen his position. He _will_ have an advantage over us. Have you found any evidence against Anora and Howe?"

"Yes, Eamon, but I won't have the details until I meet with everyone after lunch. Would you like to come to Rainesfere and join us for the meeting? That way you can hear things first-hand."

After the whole issue with Alistair, Eamon had come to respect Siobhan_. _"I believe that to be an excellent idea, may I travel back with you and Ser Perth, I mean Warden Kyle?"

"Of course."

* * *

Kyle, Siobhan and the Arl arrived at Rainesfere. Teagan was out in the stables, but Gareth was inside and received the Arl.

"Arl Eamon, I'm happy to see you."

"As I am you, Your Grace."

"Please call me Gareth. I would rather there be no formalities between us."

"I…would like that as well, please call me Eamon."

Gareth and Eamon grasped arms. "Welcome to Rainesfere, Eamon. I believe your brother is in the stables, would you like to have him sent for?

"No, I hate to interrupt his time in the stables. He'll be back soon enough."

"I invited the Arl to lunch our meeting this afternoon."

Gareth nodded to Siobhan and looked at Eamon. "Given all the items to be discussed, it will wonderful to have your perspective, Eamon. Perhaps we can chat in the library until Teagan returns? Would you like a light brandy?"

Eamon smiled. "That would be an excellent idea."

Once the two men retired to the library, Fergus and Zevran came to Siobhan.

"My lovely Warden, your husband has the Arl eating out of his hand."

"I can assure you that wasn't his _intent_. He said what he meant, the rest was just his natural charm."

"That is a powerful asset, _Cara_, one absent in many rulers."

Siobhan thought for a moment. "It was very helpful to the Teyrnir during the transition from Loghain to Gareth. It will make him a strong Teyrn."

Fergus smiled to himself. "Sis, you have every bit as much charm as your husband, you will also be a formidable ruler."

Siobhan bumped his shoulders. "That's what brothers are supposed to say."

"Really?"

"Well, it should be unless said brother wants to be thrown on a dung heap."

Fergus grinned. "I seemed to have moved up, Pup. The last time you threatened that, you were going to put me _in_ the dung heap."

The sounds of laughter filled the main room.

* * *

The meeting was held in the dining hall. All of Siobhan's party, including Kyle Perth and Oghren, Gareth, Udell, Adler, Kasch, Fergus, Aya, Seika, Teagan and Eamon were in attendance. The lone exception was Samuel, as Eamon was present. Siobhan knew this was going to be a long meeting and encouraged everyone wear casual, _comfortable_ clothes.

She called the meeting to order. "Quite a lot has happened since we left for Orzammar. For instance, we have two new companions, Oghren and Warden Kyle Perth."

Everyone waved or said welcome.

"From what I hear, we all hold pieces of the puzzle. So let's share what we know. Alistair," Kira smiled mischievously. "could you summarize our trip to Orzammar?"

Alistair stood up. "As the Commander said this is Oghren, late of Orzammar. He swings a mean axe, drunk or sober, and could probably drink half of Redcliffe under the table." Turning to Oghren. "Does that cover it well enough for now?"

"That's _pretty_ good, pike-twirler. You all need to know I've tried twenty-seven different types of ale and learned I'm just the right height to give a human girl a good time. Heh, Heh"

Alistair nodded. "Riiiight, I forgot that part." His tone then became very matter of fact. "A summary of Orzammar. We were surrounded by rock, we marched through the deep roads, killed darkspawn, killed a Broodmother _please don't ask_, found _and_ destroyed an anvil that made golems, helped the ancient paragon, who created the anvil, to die, killed a living paragon, and put a conniving backstabber on the throne, whose supporters believe he will be a good, progressive King. Actually, we didn't make _that_ choice, Oghren did."

"Asschabs, the both of them. At least Behlen won't stick his head in the sodding dirt like Harrowmont would."

Everyone laughed, which is how Siobhan and Alistair wanted to start the meeting.

Siobhan gestured to Zevran. "I understand you have some news?"

"Indeed, a colleague and I were _very_ successful in finding evidence that will rid us of those nasty charges of treason. The Sister, who supposedly witnessed the confession, was paid by Rendon Howe to forge the document."

Fergus slapped his hand on the table. "That lying, malignant, bastard!"

Aya put her hand on Fergus'

Zevran looked a Fergus, nodding. "Indeed he is, amico. The _good_ _sister_ kept the correspondence between her and Howe detailing the job, as well as a small sample of Teyrn Cousland's handwriting.'' Zevran placed the parchments on the table. "And now…they are ours."

Eamon and Teagan were delighted and Fergus wore a satisfied grin. Teagan who was seated next to Zevran patted the elf on the back. "Great work, Zev!"

"Ah, but that is not all. The Sister was also involved in several other…_activities _that are of particular interest. Gareth, your insights would be helpful in interpreting some of this."

"If it has to do with Loghain or my sister, then yes, I might."

"Excellent. The Sister, in her dealings with Howe, discovered that the Queen had or has dealings with an Orlesian Bard. She is the same bard who had been working with Howe to provide Loghain with the false information about Teyrn Cousland's Orlesians activities. The Sister said, and I believe her, that just after Siobhan and Gareth were married, Anora arranged with this bard to blackmail Howe."

Siobhan was in shock. "So, if your information is correct, Anora has been using Howe and Howe has been using Anora?"

"So it would seem, my Warden."

Eamon cleared his throat. "Is there any evidence to prove this?"

"Alas, not in writing."

Leliana, who had been looking at her hands, looked up. "I think I know who this bard is. My old mentor, Marjolaine."

Gareth leaned back. "Leliana, can you contact Marjolaine?"

Siobhan who knew Leliana's story, interrupted. "Leli, do you know _someone_ who can contact her on _my_ behalf?"

Leli nodded. "However, it may be necessary to make Marjolaine find _me_."

Siobhan cleared her throat. "Alright, let me summarize. We have documents that will make the treason charges vanish and directly implicate Howe. We have _heard_ that Howe was working with an Orlesian bard, and that the Queen met with this bard and convinced her to blackmail Howe. Leli suspects that the bard is named Marjolaine and may be able to contact her."

"You have summarized it perfectly, my Warden."

Eamon was stunned. "I can believe Howe of such treachery, but _Anora_? This is something for which we must have hard evidence."

Siobhan nodded. "I agree. We can _easily_ discredit Howe, and then there is the matter of the massacre of my family, which I witnessed. Howe, _will_ go down. Hopefully, Loghain's close association with him will help weaken Loghain's position. We must have evidence to connect Anora to Howe."

Gareth had been silent so far, but Siobhan knew that he was angry. After a minute Gareth's voice, sounded deep, calm, and controlled. "I just _cannot_ shake the feeling that Anora has some kind of plan up her sleeve. Cailan told me of his fights with Loghain and Anora, and the huge fight over the Cailan's trip to Orlais.

"According to my father, Anora feared being put aside. My father _believed_ that every time Cailan left the palace, he was seeing other women. In actuality, Cailan was working on a trade agreement with Orlais. That trade agreement was to be the culmination of many Orlesian trips by Bryce and Eamon as well as correspondence between the Cailan and Celine."

Gareth voice became horse. "He was _so_ proud. He told me he'd finally found a way to have a lasting peace with Orlais."

Gareth reined in his emotions. "The trip Cailan took to Orlais was to meet with Celine and finalize the wording of the agreement. The documents found at Ostagar calling for a more "permanent alliance" were referring to _that_ trade agreement; Cailan was going to invite Celine to Ferelden so they both could sign it. Then the Blight happened. Orlais was willing to help, but of course my father refused."

"Before Cailan left for Orlais, he said he'd written a letter to Anora explaining where he was, and why, and when he would return. Loghain descended on Cailan as soon as he came back from Orlais and directly accused him of infidelity. Clearly. Anora had _not_ mentioned the letter."

"After after Loghain's ambush, Cailan went to see Anora and asked her about the letter. Cailan said that she turned on him like a 'viper.' She told him that, she threw the note into the fire and never showed it to anyone. She called him 'stupid' for 'negotiating _anything_ on his own.' Cailan told me that was moment he realized there was no action he could ever take, to make Anora proud. That any independent actions Cailan took, Anora would see a threat to _her_ 'rule.' Cailan told me that he'd given Anora a choice, he could set her aside, freeing her from a marriage she clearly found onerous, or she could remain Queen. Anora chose to remain queen, and Cailan banished her from his bed.

"My sister _intentionally_ led my father to believe that Cailan had relations with Empress Celine. Anyone one who knows my father would know that news like this would send him into a murderous rage. It was shortly after that, Duncan arrived and Ostagar happened. It was my thought _then_ and _now_ that Anora is trying to usurp the throne, and she is using my father to do her dirty work."

Eamon patted Gareth on the shoulder. "It seems clear to me that Howe and Anora are both playing on Loghain's paranoia regarding Orlais. If Anora has this bard on her side then she is playing Howe, at the same time he is playing her.

"How can we prove this?" Siobhan asked

Leliana's voice was flat and resigned. "Marjolaine."

Alistair had been listening intently. "Let us _assume_ that we have all the evidence we need. Do we just show up at the Landsmeet and lay it all out?

"Whatever we decide we must _break_ my father in front of the Landsmeet."

Siobhan was shocked. "Break him? Gareth, he's your _father_."

"He's a monster!"

Siobhan went on. "Made in part by my conniving sister-in-law, that murderous Howe. I know your father's grief over loosing you was real and _that_ broke him. You've always told me how he _despises_ Orlais with every bone in his body, and we both know _that's_ his weakness, _that's_ his blind spot. Howe and Anora have used as a tool to manipulate your father. Even though his actions are reprehensible, he loves _you_ and he loves Ferelden. He feels that failed to protect you, he's convinced himself that he is the only one that can save Ferelden. Loghain is the _Hero_ of River Dane, that deserves respect and should be included in weighting the scale of your father's fate."

Gareth ran his hand through his hair; his face showed the rage he felt. When he thought of what happened to Siobhan and what she has had to deal with because of his father, he couldn't even see straight. "Excuse me, I need to leave the room for a little while, I believe you have all the insight I can provide." He strode from the room without a backward glance after a few moments everyone heard a door slam hard, sending a slight tremor in the dining hall.

Siobhan had never seen him this angry. The wife in her wanted to run to him, but she was the Commander, running this meeting. She had to be _here_.

Alistair looked at Siobhan and leaned toward her so no one would hear. Not one person in the room would blame you for going to him right now."

Siobhan looked dubious.

Again, Alistair whispered, "Do you want me to put it to a vote?"

Siobhan slowly shook her head, looked out over the group. "If you will excuse me, Alistair will run the meeting until I return."

Alistair looked at Eamon "Arl Eamon, could speak to us about the timeline for the Landsmeet?"


	54. Monsters and Manipulators

**Chapter 53. Monsters and Manipulators  
**

**AN:** Thank you to all who alert, review, fave, lurk. Special thanks to Seika and Shakespira for their support. An a big thank you to Nithu, my awesome beta.

Happy Holidays!

* * *

Siobhan left the meeting and looked around; one of the servants came up to her. "My Lady, His Grace went outside."

"Thank you." Siobhan hurried out to find Gareth. She looked in the inner courtyard, the outer courtyard, and the gardens. Nothing. _Think Siobhan_._ Where would he go if he were fighting… mad. Maker, I'm an idiot. _Siobhan went to the practice field; sure enough, there was Gareth. He had destroyed one practice dummy and was working over a second one.

She slowly approached; he was too focused to notice her. As she got closer, she heard him yell. She watched him strike the dummy as he emphasized his words.

"I will make you _pay_ for _every_ tear Siobhan has shed. _Every_ wound, _every_ _night_ spent sleeping on the ground. _Every_ _damn_ step she's taken across this country trying to _unite_ what _you_ and my _bitch_ of a _sister_ _have_ _SUNDERED!"_

His last shot turned the dummy into a pile of straw. He dropped his weapon and fell to his knees. Looking up at the sky, his yell came from his very soul. "Maker forgive me, _I_ failed her! _I _failed her!"

"Gareth!" Siobhan called as she ran to him. He put his hands out, shaking his head as if he were waving her off. She ignored him and she knelt on the ground in front of him, taking her hands in his, pulling him close.

"Gareth, look at me."

He shook his head

She shook his hands. "Look at me!"

Gareth looked up, his face streaked with dirt and sweat, his voice hoarse from yelling. "Forgive me."

"Whatever for?"

"For not protecting you. For leaving you at the mercy of _bastards_ like my father and Howe."

Siobhan kissed his hands, clasped them to her chest. "You have _not_ failed me. You have _never_ failed me and you _will never_ fail me." She kissed his hands, as she emphasized her words. "None of what happened is your fault."

"_Cariad_…I…" Tears began again.

She pulled him closer. "Shhh. No more. We will not let the Blight infect _us_."

Gareth put his arms around her and held tight. "_Cariad_, I would have gone into the void itself to prevent all this."

"I know, just as I would for you. My dear one, you have given me nothing but love and joy, _and_ you have given me a beautiful son. You have not failed _me_ or anyone else."

Gareth looked into her eyes. "Love is such an inadequate word for what I feel for you, _Cariad_." He pulled her in close, and kissed her with a hunger and need that matched her own.

* * *

Eamon was explaining the timing of the Landsmeet. "I will call the Landsmeet, but it will take close to a month before everyone is assembled. However, I would like us to leave for Denerim as soon as possible. We must uncover any and all evidence we can use against Loghain."

Taking Gareth's place during this discussion, Adler stroked his chin. "Arl Eamon, what about the armies?"

"The Redcliffe army will stay here; they are too numerous for Denerim. However, the Chasind-Rainesfere troops can be accommodated."

Alistair thought about it. "While in Denerim, Gareth would have to stay completely out of sight."

"My Denerim estate is large enough to hide him." Eamon smiled.

Alistair continued with is questions. "Adler, I know you're Gareth's second in command. Kyle, were you Ser Lorcan's?"

Kyle nodded.

Alistair looked to Teagan. "I suggest Adler command both armies…"

Adler interrupted. "If Gareth agrees."

Alistair nodded. "If Gareth agrees. Teagan, I would like Perth, to serve as Adler's second, for now, but you should be the one who decides who should replace Ser Lorcan."

Teagan and Eamon were both very proud of how Alistair was handling this meeting.

Alistair looked to Leliana. "Leli, is it possible to lure Marjolaine to Denerim?"

Leliana's face, usually open and friendly, was closed and guarded. "There are…perhaps you, Siobhan, Zevran and I could talk about it later?"

Alistair, having never seen Leliana like this, nodded. "Sure, that would be fine.

Zevran, can Marjolaine give us the evidence of the connection between Anora and Howe?"

"Yes. We'll make sure the Orlesian bard sings the right songs."

Teagan thought for long moment. "If Gareth's suspicions are correct, in the months before Ostagar, Anora was planning to rid herself of Cailan so _she_ would rule alone, but she _had_ to know that there would be opposition from Bryce and Eamon."

Eamon frowned. "I suspect this is where Howe slithered his way in into Anora good graces."

Fergus was so angry he almost growled "That smarmy bastard has always coveted Highever; a fact I could never get father to believe."

Zevran nodded. "Howe wanted the Orlesian Bard to make up rumors and 'evidence' he could use to convince Loghain that Teyrn Cousland was a traitor"

Teagan sighed. "One of the items that must have come from this Bard, the 'message' from a Chevalier to Bryce."

Zevran leaned back in his chair. "Then Howe does his little dance with the Sister, and Loghain has the note, _and_ a signed and witnessed confession."

Eamon put his head in his hands for a moment, and then looked up. "So Anora convinces Loghain that Cailan's been…intimate with Empress Celine, while Howe is feeding Loghain 'information' on an Orlesian/Cousland plot?"

Zevran nodded.

Fergus was tense and angry. "I bet Howe _volunteered_ to remove the 'Cousland traitors', as a _favor_ to Loghain. The Couslands would be removed, and Howe takes over Highever leaving one less barrier to the Throne."

Alistair interjected, "Then there's you, Eamon. Jowan, told us that Loghain took him away from the templars, and told him that he would fix things with the Circle if Jowan poisoned you."

"With my family, Eamon, and Cailan out of the way, Anora would be sole ruler. Loghain's serves as her regent during the war, and Blight."

"Remember," Zevran began. "Anora does not know that Howe covets the throne and has most likely been behind many of Loghain's… atrocities."

Everyone nodded.

Siobhan walked back into the meeting, she had some mud on her tunic and trouser knees.

"Alistair, please continue. I'm just going to sit and listen."

Alistair raised an eyebrow at Siobhan and slightly shrugged his shoulders. _Is everything all right?_

Siobhan gave a quick nod.

Eamon picked up the discussion. "Loghain is a barrier to both Anora and Howe. It seems our Queen believed that Loghain would simply to step down as Regent, and instead he starts a civil war. Anora now needs to get _rid_ of Loghain and Howe needs to get rid of Loghain _and_ Anora…"

Zevran leaned forward, his face lacking his usual humor. "If Howe is as clever and determined as he appears, he has _already_ convinced Anora that the only way to remove her father from the Regency is to push him far enough so he lashes out at her, like he did with Siobhan, Anora would have him arrested and she ascends to the throne. I'm quite sure our slippery Arl has assured Anora he will keep her _safe_ from any real harm. Once Loghain is out of the picture, Anora will die, from an _accident_ of course."

Eamon looked at the elf in disbelief. "How can you be sure of all that?"

Zevran shrugs his shoulders. "It is what I would do. This will leave _no one_ between Howe and the throne."

* * *

Alistair and Siobhan were alone in the dining room; he had summarized what she missed, and saw she was deeply troubled.

"How is Gareth doing?"

"He…he's better."

"I can't imagine what's he's going through. How _are_ you doing?"

Siobhan hung her head for moment. After a while she looked up at Alistair. "Am I wrong, Alistair?"

"Wrong about what?"

"Wrong in not wanting to flay Loghain alive, wrong to not think of him as a monster?"

Alistair, who had been struggling with his own anger toward Loghain, was caught off guard by her questions. "Why _don't_ you think he's a monster?"

Siobhan thought back to Ostagar, when she stepped quietly into his tent to see him out of armor, unkempt, dirty and smelling like stale ale. "When Cailan told me about Gareth I ran to Loghain. _I saw_ a broken, grief-stricken father, whose world had just ended. I _can't_ get that image out of my mind. Now we know just how much of a pawn he's been. To see the grief-stricken father _I saw_ being manipulated…" Siobhan couldn't go on, she put her head in her hands.

Alistair pulled her into a hug and rested his chin on her head. There was nothing he could say, but there were plenty of things for him to think about.


	55. Women and Thier Men

**Chapter 54. Women and Their Men**

_**AN:** Big thanks to reviewers as well as those who have added their fave and Alert list. Biggest thanks to my beta, Nithu._

**Happy New Year!**

* * *

Before supper, Leliana, Zevran and Siobhan were meeting to talk about about Marjolaine. Alistair was needed elsewhere, so Siobhan would fill him in later.

Leliana's normal ebullient self was absent. In its place was the haunted look of someone whose had endured great suffering. Her voice reflected her mood. "In Denerim, there's a small apartment Marjolaine used whenever she came to Ferelden. I…I can send word through channels that I am going to be affirmed, meaning I would have to confess _all_ my sins." Leliana's voice and face became more withdrawn. "Marjolaine knows what that means. She _will_ come to stop me."

Siobhan shook her head. "That's using you as bait."

"Perhaps, my lovely song bird, it would be better if our _Commander_ sends a message to Marjolaine. Something like 'we have a mutual enemy. I can help you make them go away.'"

Siobhan smiled. "The problem being our _beloved_ Queen."

Zevran grinned. "Of course. The letter tells Marjolaine we know who _she_ is, and we know her _well_ _enough_ to know her enemies, and that we have a common interest, but leaves doubt as to _exactly_ who."

A bright smile appeared on Leliana's face. "That is brilliant! Marjolaine _never_ could stay away from a mystery. Thank you so much, Zevran!" Leliana threw her arms around him, and hugged him.

Zevran returned the hug. "You know, there are other ways you can show gratitude, my luscious Leliana."

Leli pulled back. "Of course, how silly of me." She smiled and kissed Zevran on the forehead.

Zevran sighed. Siobhan laughed.

* * *

When Gareth did not come down to dinner, Siobhan went to their room; the door was ajar and she heard Gareth's deep voice talking softly. She didn't hear another voice, so she tiptoed into the room. Gareth was sitting on the bed, holding Bryce and talking to him. "…your Grand Da and I would go into the forest and camp, just the two of us. He taught me how to hunt, and he told me all sorts of stories about his Da and his own Grand Da. Did you know that your Great Grand Da was taller than me?"

"Taller than _you_?" Siobhan asked as she leaned against the wall.

"_Cariad_, I didn't hear you come in. Why so quiet?"

Siobhan approached the bed. "interrupt you talking with our son?"

Gareth chuckled. "Like he can understand what I say."

Sitting on the bed, lightly rubbing Gareth's back. "He may not understand the words, but he can sense when you're happy…or sad. Has he been fed?"

"Fed, burped, and changed, by me…well the burping and changing part."

Siobhan stroked Bryce's head. "_A stóirín_, time for you to go to bed."

Almost as if on cue, Bryce's face split into a huge yawn. "All right little man, I get the hint." Gareth stood up and put Bryce to bed. He fussed a moment, then settled in to sleep.

Gareth's back was to Siobhan, looking down at his son. "Life is simple at this age isn't it?"

"It is, but it's also less interesting."

Gareth quietly stood there, his back still to Siobhan.

"Turn around, love. Please. Talk to me."

Gareth still wouldn't turn around. "What is there to say? The only two living members of my family have disgraced the Mac Tir family name and betrayed our country. How do we tell Bryce about that? How do we tell our _son_ that _my_ father saw to it that his mother's parents were murdered, that he killed the King of Ferelden? _I_ can't even comprehend it, how…how do we tell _him_?"

Siobhan padded over to Gareth. _Maker, he is such a good and honorable man, how can this be happening?_

She hugged Gareth from behind and rested her head on his back. "As he grows up, we will open and honestly tell him only as much as he can understand. Dear one, let us talk somewhere more comfortable? Besides, we don't want to wake him."

Gareth nodded and the two of them curled up together on the sofa near the fireplace. For a while they simply watched the flames dance.

"Explain to me how I feel as though I could cheerfully put a knife through the hearts of both my father and sister; yet, _you_ _defend_ my father. Why?"

She smiled without mirth. "If you recall, I _did_ try to put a blade in your father's heart."

Gareth chuckled darkly. "I only marvel that you missed."

Siobhan simply shrugged. "I am _more_ angry at Anora than I am at your father. _Anora's_ motives were power and pride; your father's were to defend our country."

Gareth was quick to anger. "The ends _never_ justify the means, Siobhan! I don't _care_ if your _Wardens_ embrace the concept of 'by any means necessary' _I _don't!"

Gareth's sudden anger and implications stunned Siobhan. "The _Wardens_ would disagree with you, _but I don't_. Dear one, I'm not saying that his actions were _justified_. Not at all."

"Then what _are_ you saying?" Gareth's eyes narrowed.

Siobhan was quiet while she thought about her answer. Gareth leaded forward and stoked the fire. Satisfied with the level of heat he leaned back, his expression dark and brooding. She attempted to stroke his hair, but he jerked his head away.

Siobhan's famed temper started to come to the surface. "Stop brooding and listen to me."

Gareth turned to her. "Brooding? Do you really want to _argue_ about this?"

"No, I don't. But I also don't want you _putting_ words in my mouth or _ascribing_ beliefs to me that I don't have!"

Gareth stood up to leave. Siobhan looked at him, her face unreadable. "Don't you _dare_ walk out, you're better than that."

Gareth slowly sat back down; his mood still black.

"Do you want to know what I see, when I see your father?

"Other than a murderous monster?"

Siobhan ignored the comment. "_I_ see a man who is fiercely loyal to his country, who survived seeing things that no child should _ever_ see. I see a man who willingly spilled his own blood, repeatedly, to liberate this country from _decades_ of oppression. I see a man, fighting to defend it, to help its untested ruler grow into a _King_. I see a man who has fought for so long, that he's _unable_ to trust peace. I see man, who is as fiercely proud of his son, as he is his country "

Siobhan's voice started to break. "I see a man… who _died_…when hearing about the death of his only son. A son that meant the world to him, a son that stopped him time and again from falling into the abyss of his past. "

Siobhan looked a Gareth, his face no longer looked as dark. He was still listening.

"On the other hand, there's Anora. I see a woman who never wanted for anything, who was the toast of Denerim, who married a prince and became a queen. I see a woman, who was willing to destroy her _own_ father to feed her _conceit_ and her _limitless_ lust for power! Were Loghain's actions traitorous? Yes, as were Anora's, but how can you ask me to view their actions through the same lens? Justice _needs_ to be blind. I don't."

Siobhan stopped talking and looked at Gareth; she reached for his hand, which he gripped tightly. Looking up at her, he brushed a tear away from her cheek. "You are neither blind nor unjust. You see, what's there." Then Gareth smiled. "You see to the heart of the matter, and Maker help anyone who gets in your way, _cariad_."

She gathered him as close to her as she could. "My life ended the same day as your father's, the only difference is I got you back."

Gareth held her face between his hands. "Thanks to you, he _will_ get his son back." He kissed Siobhan passionately. After a while he slid a hand under her tunic. Siobhan felt his warm hand caress her body, setting her own skin ablaze. Gareth stood up from the sofa, and slowly removed her tunic and trousers, then his own. Pulling her soft, nude body to his, he again claimed her mouth.

Siobhan pulled away and led him to the bed. As Gareth laid her down, he whispered in her ear. "I am going make love to you until neither of us can _remember_ the world around us. If it takes all night, then so be it."

As Fergus climbed the stairs to the bedroom, he remembered seeing Aya late that morning. She had Bryce lying on a blanket on a rug near the fireplace. He was on his back wiggling about. Aya, brought her mouth to his little belly and blew, raspberrythat made Bryce wiggle more. He was too young to really smile, but his little squeals showed that he was very happy.

_I remember when Oren was that age. I was afraid to touch him; afraid I would break him. Oriana was so patient with me. By the time Oren started to smile, I was able to play with him, much like Aya was and I was rewarded by smiles and belly laughs._

He went to the bedroom and found Aya, curled up by the fireplace, reading. She looked up from her book, gave Fergus a radiant smile and patted the area next to her. "Come sit, _mien helle salle, _you look both troubled _and_ happy, which is an unusual combination for you."

Fergus scratched the back of his head. "You mean I have _usual_ combinations?"

"Of course."

"What are they?"

Aya smiled. "What, give away my secrets?"

Fergus sat down grinning. "You do that 'woman of mystery 'thing _so well_. But I can see past that."

"And what do you see?"

Fergus leaned close, his hand against the side of her face. "Behind the emerald eyes, and sultry smile, lies the strongest, most gentle of hearts that beats for the most extraordinary woman I've ever known." Before Aya could react Fergus kissed her.

* * *

The next morning, Fergus and Alistair went to Redcliffe with Teagan to speak privately with the Arl.

Preparations were in full swing at Redcliffe when the three men arrived. Upon seeing them, Eamon looked alarmed. "Has something happened?"

Alistair was taken aback for a moment. "Oh…no… nothing's wrong. We just needed to meet with you about the Landsmeet."

Eamon was unconvinced. "And you needed a Teyrn, a Bann, and a Grey Warden to do so?"

"Brother, yes, it is about the Landsmeet but it is _very_ sensitive information."

Eamon chuckled. "The expression on your faces…please, don't ever play Wicked Grace. Come, let's go to my study."

They settled in the study with drinks. "So what is this sensitive information?"

Teagan knew his brother very well and he couldn't escape the feeling that Eamon was humoring them.

Alistair spoke first. "When I decided that I really wanted to remain a Grey Warden and not take up the Crown, and as it became abundantly clear that Anora is not really an option, I started to think. If not me, then who?

Eamon nodded. Teagan was now sure that they were being humored. He was about to call his brother on it, when Fergus caught his eyes gave Teagan a small shake of his head.

Alistair continued. "I agree that we should have a temporary regent, until after we defeat the Archdemon, but after the Blight, we will need strong, compassionate and wise leadership to help Ferelden back on its feet. So, after giving this much thought, and consulting Fergus and then Teagan, I have a candidate I suggest we put forward."

Eamon's eyes twinkled. "Just one?"

"Well no, but."

Eamon couldn't stand it any longer. "You want to put forth Gareth and Siobhan?"

"I knew you were humoring us!" Fergus chucked.

Teagan laughed. "Yeah, I figured that out too."

Alistair looked at the three men. In the past, he would have just blushed and stammered. Not now. "Given the twinkle in your eyes Eamon, it seems that you've already thought about this option _and_ you agree with it. So now we can go straight to the question; how we can make this happen?"

In unison, Fergus, Teagan and Eamon looked at Alistair, all three wearing the same stunned look. Alistair just sat back and smiled.

* * *

The three men arrived back at Rainesfere. All was quiet as everyone was taking an afternoon break. Having not spent the morning involved the hustle and bustle, Alistair had more energy and a bit of a spring in his step, so he walked around the estate. As he neared the gardens he heard Seika singing.

Alistair was already entranced by her voice and stayed back to listen. _This is a song I actually recognize. The stable master's wife would often sing this on sunny days, but never in winter._

_"The violet and the primrose too  
Beneath a sheltering thorny bough  
In bright and lively colours blow  
And cast sweet fragrance round.  
Where beds of thyme in clusters lay  
The heath rose opens its eyes in May  
And cowslips, too, their sweets display  
Upon the heathy ground."  
_

Alistair strolled into the garden singing, as Seika turned to him. _  
_

"_Here shepherds meet at close of day  
To chant their merry roundelay  
And chase unhappy thought away"**  
_

Blushing Seika took his hand and laughed. "You have a lovely voice, Alistair. How do you know this song?"

"When I was growing up, the stable master's wife often sang it. It's actually one of the few songs I know, outside of the Chant. As for the lovely voice, compared to you, I sound like a frog, but I get by. The bigger question is where did _you_ learn this song?"

"Udell taught it to Aya and me when we were small. Even though the garden slumbers at this time of year, the sunny day just made the song bubble up to the surface."

Alistair looked at her and marveled at how much Seika's vibrant spirit made him feel relaxed and free. Holding out his arm, he smiled. "Would my lady care to stroll through the slumbering garden?"

"I would love to, and you can continue to tell me about _your_ life. The last time we spoke, you changed the subject and I ended up telling you how I humiliated myself in front of a young man."

Alistair shook his head. "It's just, I'm not really used to talking about myself. Actually, not used to people really wanting to listen."

Seika smiled and laughed. "I don't tell embarrassing stories about myself to just _anyone_, Alistair Theirin. I very much want to know all I can about you."

"It's a boring story."

Seika stopped and looked at Alistair, who noticed that he didn't have to bend his head down to look her into her eyes.

"The man before me is _not_ a boring story."

Alistair was about to object when Seika put a finger softly to his lips. "Please?"

Alistair smiled. "All right, all right. I'll do it. What kind of gentleman would I be to refuse a request from such a beautiful woman?"

* * *

It was the grand foyer of the Arl of Denerim's estate. In the estate, Anora stood with a small complement of her guards.

"Your _Majesty_, I am honored that you accepted my _invitation_."

"The honor is all mine _Teyrn_ Howe. After all, it is only proper that the Queen pay a visit to your Denerim estate."

"Do you require all of your escort or will my guards be sufficient?"

"I felt the escort necessary. Difficult times make for desperate people. However, I know I will be _safe_ in your company." Anora dismissed all but one of her guards and her handmaiden, Erlina.

"I am _honored_ by her Majesty's trust…I will endeavor to make your stay _memorable_."

**traditional welsh song Blodau'r Grug (Flowers Of The Heath)


	56. The Road to Denerim

**AN:** Wow, we are almost ready for the Landsmeet! Thank you again for all who have followed, alerted, faved and lurked. Special thanks to Seika and Shakespira for their thoughtful reviews**,** and my wonderful Beta, Nithu**  
**

* * *

**Chapter 55. The Road to Denerim**

It was the evening before their departure for Denerim. Eamon and his retinue had already left. Siobhan had given everyone the evening off. Fergus, wanting a chance to speak with Gareth and Siobhan, found them along with Aya, in the family room. Bryce was nestled in-between his parents.

Fergus was needed at the Landsmeet and Aya was needed by the Chasind army. Given the uncertainty of the location of the main Darkspawn horde, Gareth and Siobhan decided it would be better to bring Bryce with them. It was a risk, but they thought it was safer than leaving him here with untested care. Relieved at making what they felt was the right decision; they were both somewhat more relaxed.

Fergus was relieved to see happy faces; the three were having a lively conversation over Fereldan's rather sexually repressed society.

"Honestly, how can the women here wear so many layers of clothes _all _of the time? I can see it when it is cold, but when it's warm? "

"We Fereldan women are generally raised to be very modest about our bodies, and three layers of clothing is _supposed_ to achieve that. "

Gareth chuckled. "I have to say how lucky I am, _cariad_; you can make any mode of dress seem _immodest_. "

"Thank you…I think?"

Gareth smiled at his wife. "It's all in the attitude, not the clothing. For example…"

"Stop." Fergus entered the room holding up his hand and smiling "Spare a brother from hearing an example of his _sister's_ immodest attitude."

Everyone laughed. Aya smiled. "So, are you done with your errands and secret meetings, or will I have to tie you to the chair to get time with you?"

Fergus looked thoughtful and tapped his chin. "Well, depending on the kinds of restraints..."

Siobhan put her hands over her ears. "Not listening, not listening."

Fergus smirked. "Gotcha!"

Drinks arrived arrived. Fergus sat back with his ale, letting the conversation flow around him. He recalled his earlier meeting with Udell.

"_Fergus, how can I help you?"_

_Fergus sat down, clearly nervous. Udell simply watched him._

"_I…I don't know how to say this."_

"_Then you must take your time. I will wait."_

_Fergus took a deep breath and looked directly at Udell. Fergus thought he noticed a small twinkle in the older man's eyes, but it was gone so quickly, he thought he'd imagined it._

"_Udell…I formally ask your permission to marry your daughter."_

_Udell smiled. "Tell me Fergus, have you already asked Aya?"_

_Remembering Gareth and Siobhan's courtship, he lowered his head. "I'm sorry, but yes, I already have."_

"_Lift your head Fergus. We are not as your Fereldan nobility. Permission is not required of the parent, as long as both people are adults. What was Aya's response?"_

"_Yes."_

_Udell smiled. "Then yes, you have my permission to marry my daughter! Although, I suggest waiting until we are all safe before you join houses."_

After a few pulls of his ale, Fergus stood up and motioned Aya to his side, where he held her hand. "Aya and I have an announcement. I have asked Aya to marry me!"

Aya, Gareth and Siobhan wore the same amused expression, leaving Fergus looking very puzzled. Aya laughed and looked lovingly at Fergus. "You left out one important detail."

Fergus looked at Aya. "What?"

Aya put her hand gently on the side of his face. "You left out the part about my saying yes."

* * *

Siobhan and Alistair led the way as they marched out of Rainesfere. Teagan had loaned them several horses, which Siobhan and Gareth gave to Udell, Byrti, Aya, and other two Chasind healers. Gareth chose to march with the army. A few days before, Teagan, who was traveling with Eamon, had relinquished command of his troops to Gareth, allowing him to command both armies as one. Bryce traveled in Bohdan's cart with Lyla and Zevran. Four scouts traveled ahead.

With such a large contingent of soldiers, finding places to camp was difficult. The first night, they were able to find a campsite that had water on one side and a large wall of rock on another. The soldiers set up their camp around the site to protect the unarmored people and Siobhan's party, who camped near the rock wall. Gareth felt he should camp near the soldiers as he and Siobhan previously discussed.

"_I would love to sneak into your tent at night, but I want to have Bryce with me."_

_Gareth put his arms around her. "I would like nothing better than to sleep with you and Bryce, but as commander my place is with the troops."_

_Siobhan stroked the side of his face. "I completely understand, but we will sleep together in Denerim."_

_Gareth gave her a wicked grin._

"_Dear one, we __will__actually_ need to sleep…at some point."

Once Siobhan and her party had set up _their_ camp, Alistair set up the watch schedule and assigned camp chores. Everyone noticed that Siobhan was delegating more and more responsibilities to Alistair, who handled them with aplomb.

Morrigan and Leliana, in particular, noticed how much Alistair had changed from the grieving young junior warden they saw in Lothering, to the confident man they saw before them. Morrigan, of course, gave all the credit to Siobhan, saying, "Without her, he would have dug a hole of grief into which he would have happily buried himself."

Once Siobhan was in her tent, Lyla brought in Bryce. He was awake and fussy from all the noise.

"How did he do in the wagon?"

"He did very well. It wasn't until we set camp that he started to fret. He's been fed for the night, and burped…very well. In fact, Zevran who wasn't looking at the time, thought it came from Oghren."

The two women laughed. "Lyla, you are off-duty, just go and rest."

Lyla smiled and then it was just Siobhan and Bryce. She laid him down in her bedding, curled up next to him and softly sang. Gradually, he quieted and watched Siobhan's face while she sang. After a while, Alistair poked his head in the tent. Seeing Bryce he whispered. "Siobhan?"

"Yes?"

"Supper is ready, do you want to come out or have a bowl brought to you?"

"Bryce is a sleep; I can get a bowl and bring it back."

"Nonsense, I'll bring you one."

Relaxing in her tent, she took a bite of the rabbit stew. _Thank the Maker, Alistair is no longer doing the cooking._ She ate while watching Bryce sleep. She knew she should make an appearance, but she was just so tired. Still, once she finished eating, she made sure Bryce was tucked in and left her tent.

Their campfire was about four feet away so she could watch the tent and hear if Bryce woke up. Her companions, including Morrigan, were all looking well, and even happy. _Probably because we're finally heading to Denerim to get the rest of this over with, I know I'm relieved that we have no more treaties to deliver._

Zevran stretched, and grinned "Samuel, this is the life. Here were are, surrounded by a luscious bard, an exotic raven-haired witch, and a mature woman with a wondrous bosom. It would only be better if they were all naked in our tent, yes?"

Samuel blushed a bit, but a twinkle came to his eye. "I don't know, Zev; you _still_ don't know how to share."

~oOOo~

Seika and Alistair were on the other side of the campfire. Siobhan noticed their heads were together and they did a lot of talking and laughing.

Alistair had finally told Seika about his past, about his father and his mother. Through it all, Seika simply held his hand and listened.

_It is so easy to talk to her. I can't remember ever being this relaxed near a woman I found attractive…accept for Siobhan…but that's not really the same thing….shit, I even ramble in my thoughts._

"You know, usually at this point in the conversation I've stammered about twenty times and have no idea what to say next, but with you, I don't feel that way. Is it because you're a healer?"

Seika smiled. "No, it isn't because I'm a healer. You give yourself too little credit. What you're feeling is called confidence. I'm sure you've heard of it?"

Alistair looked intensely thoughtful for a moment. "No. No, I don't think I have."

Seika laughed and lightly punched him in the shoulder. "Alistair!"

"Ouch. I'm very delicate you know." He tried to keep a straight face and failed miserably. "Ok, I'll give. I know what the word means."

Seika stopped laughing and looked into Alistair's eyes. "You really _don't_ see it do you? " She held his hands in hers. "I wish you could see you through my eyes."

Alistair was about to give a flip remark; the look in her eyes stopped him. "How…how do you see me?"

Seika felt that words would be useless, so held his face gently between her hands and kissed him. Forgetting where he was, his arms slipped easily about her slender waist and pulled her close. They broke apart, when Zevran stood up and applauded. Alistair looked to Zevran and smiled. "I'm glad you enjoyed the show. Just so you know I _do_ know how to share…but I won't."

Zevran's grin was from ear to ear. "No need to, my tempting templar. What you have is too amazing to share."

Alistair looked at Seika and grinned. "For once, I actually agree with the assassin."

* * *

While on the road, Alistair and Siobhan got to know Kyle Perth. They filled him in on _all_ the warden secrets as well as the decisions that have been made about killing the Archdemon. At one point, Siobhan's eyes briefly glanced in Morrigan's direction. Kyle took it all in and seemed unaffected.

Alistair had to ask. "Kyle how is it that you don't seem to be bothered _anything_ we've told you?"

Kyle smiled. "I became a Knight because I wanted to serve my Liege Lord. As a Grey Warden I will serve all of Ferelden, and it's a cause for which I am willing to lay down my life. Facing seemingly insurmountable challenges is part of devoting your life to service."

During their next night at camp, Siobhan pulled Alistair aside. "Alistair, I need to go through the Joining when we get to Denerim. We really can't put it off any longer."

"No, Siobhan! Not before the Landsmeet. Too much of a risk."

Siobhan sighed as she pinched the bridge of her nose. "All right, then right after the Landsmeet, full stop." She walked away before he could respond.

* * *

Along the way, they had some skirmishes with Darkspawn, but they were easily dispatched. As they passed Amaranthine, Zevran and Leliana, split off from the group. The night before, Siobhan had written the message they carried. She had refused to let them read it and told them not to peek, either.

_Marjolaine,_

_We have not met, but we have a mutual problem. I have a solution that will help us both. Please meet me in Denerim. Leave a message at the Pearl when you arrive; I will find you. Time is of the essence._

_Brevity, and the last shreds of self-protection, forbids me from giving you more details._

_As a gesture of good faith, I will not be anonymous._

_Siobhan Cousland Mac Tir_

Leliana and Zevran were worried about what was in the letter, Siobhan simply said,  
"Please, trust me as I trust you."

* * *

Anora's visit with Rendon Howe had been surprisingly relaxing. It was a nice change from the tension at the palace. She and Howe began planning their final moves. When Anora returned to the palace, she would set up an argument with her father that was sure to push him over the edge and force him to take action against her. Rendon would 'rescue' her. That had been the plan all along, and Anora was happy to finally implement it.

She was sitting in her room at the Denerim estate, relaxing on the settee thinking about her last planning meeting with Howe. She would need to return to the palace tomorrow, however, to prepare for Eamon's ill-advised Landsmeet.

_While Eamon is a nuisance, he cannot hold up to a Queen who had escaped death at the hands of own her father and exposed his complicity in killing Fereldan's king. Once I have exposed my father, the civil war will end and all will be united under the banner of their brave and resourceful Queen. _

Anora smiled as she sipped her tea.

_As soon as I am Queen, Howe will be executed for his massacre of the Couslands, just as my father will be for Regicide. Then there will be __no one__ to challenge my rule, not even Alistair could dethrone me. I will have tested my mettle and will not be found wanting by __my__ subjects. I will be unstoppable._

She finished her book and wanted to take a walk through the library, however, when she tried to open the door to her room it wouldn't budge.

Anora realized she had been locked in.


	57. Be our Guest

**AN**: Thank you so much to all who follow this story. A special thanks to Shakespira and Seika for their reviews, and to the most patient of betas, Nithu

_There are a couple lines taken verbatim from the game, they are marked with and asterisk._

* * *

**Chapter 56. Be our Guest **

Siobhan was relieved to safely arrive at the Arl's residence. _After what happened on the way back from Orzammar, I thought for sure we would run into part of the horde. Maker, be praised._

It took most of the rest of the day to settle in the army, as well as everyone else. The residence was much larger than Rainesfere's; Siobhan was happy that there were enough rooms.

It was agreed that Gareth and Fergus would spend their days with the army. Gareth would have anyway, but it really was the best way for Gareth and Fergus to stay out of sight until the Landsmeet. At night, they would sleep in their rooms.

Siobhan wanted either Zevran or Samuel check the Pearl for a reply from Marjolaine. Zevran didn't expect anything for a couple of days, but he went the day they reached Denerim. Surprisingly, there was a reply.

Even using stealth, Zevran made record time getting from the Pearl to the residence.

Siobhan opened the note.

_Siobhan,_

_Your note and your honesty intrigue me. I am in Denerim and await your visit._

_Marjolaine_

"Leliana, where is Marjolaine's apartment?"

"You are not taking me?"

"No. I wouldn't use you as bait. Why would I even _consider_ having you come along? In fact, the only one who I want to come with me is Samuel."

Then the protests broke out; _no one_ wanted Siobhan to meet Marjolaine with only one guard. Gareth and Alistair were particularly vocal their opposition.

"Andraste's ass! _I_ am the bloody Commander!"

The room fell silent.

"Thank you. I _need_ Marjolaine to trust me, it's the only way I can ensure her cooperation."

Leliana pleaded, "Marjolaine carries no allegiances except to herself. Please, Siobhan, I worked with her, and she betrayed me. Trust me, you cannot go with one guard. You will look naïve."

"Yes, that _is_ my intent."

Leliana and the rest were stunned into silence.

Zevran chuckled. "It appears our lovely commander is more versed in The Game than we thought."

Siobhan simply smiled. "My father was very well versed in The Grand Game. He and Eamon had to be, in order to make the trade contacts they needed."

"Ah, _amora_, you are so much more than a beautiful face."

Gareth cleared his throat. "Yes, Zevran, _my wife_ certainly is."

Zevran looked at Gareth and waggled his eyebrows. "_Amico mio_, so are you."

Gareth blushed and the room broke out into peals of laughter.

Siobhan leaned close to Zevran. "Thanks, I owe you one."

* * *

The day after they arrived in Denerim, Loghain unexpectedly showed up at the residence. He was accompanied Howe and Ser Cauthrien. Eamon accompanied by Siobhan _and_ Alistair, met them in the main hall. Eamon and Siobhan wanted to make sure Loghain _believed _that Eamon was going to put Alistair forward as King.

Eamon looked calm and collected. "Regent Loghain, your presence honors me. _Arl_ Howe, kind of you to call as well."

Loghain had stopped short and his eyes widened at seeing his former daughter-in-law. Looking directly at Siobhan. "You have been dogging me since Ostagar. I should have known you would be here."

Howe looked at Eamon, his voice clearly smug. "_Arl_ Eamon, you must not have heard. Iam now Teyrn of Highever, as well as Arl of Amaranthine, and recently appointed as the Arl of Denerim." Howe paused and smiled. "I have been blessed with so many titles no one knows how to address me. To make things…_easier_ for you, you may address me, as Teyrn Howe or Your Grace would suffice. "

Eamon arched an eyebrow. "Interesting consolidation of power, Loghain. It must make controlling your lackey that much easier."

Loghain eyes narrowed. "Enough! I am not here to cater to your vanity, Eamon."

Eamon seemed unaffected. His sounded…_bored_. "Well then, perhaps you should tell me why you _are_ here?"

"Let us not play games, Eamon. I'm here because your gall to call a Landsmeet demanded it! Do I need to I remind you that we're facing a Blight, or has your recent illness addled you?"

Siobhan looked at Loghain; trying to keep her voice steady and only carry a hint of the scorn she felt. "Loghain, I find it interesting that you refer to the Arl's poisoning as an illness. Have you forgotten that you had the arlessa hire the blood mage that poisoned him, or has the death of your soul _addled_ you?"

"Curb your treasonous tongue, Warden Cousland!" Loghain's eyes traveled to her flat stomach and back to her face. "Tell me, have you successfully birthed your bastard?" He looked to Alistair, perhaps it also carries Theirin blood?"

"I gave birth to Gareth's son,your grandson, and my surname is _Mac Tir_!" Tears started to spring to Siobhan's eyes, as she fought to stay calm.

Eamon stroked his beard. "If you are done yelling at the Warden Commander? I called the Landsmeet because we need a leader to unite Ferelden."

"Ferelden has a strong leader, its Queen and I lead her armies." *

Alistair arched an eyebrow. "Really? Lead her armies to what, cowardly retreat? That strategy worked sowell at Ostagar."

As he looked away, Siobhan caught a glimpse of the same grief she'd seen at Ostagar. After a few moments of silence, Loghain looked at Eamon with a more conciliatory expression. "I had _hoped_ to convince you back down. _Yes_, our lands are divided. _Yes_, the Blight threatens us all. All the more reason we should work together. Just like your father and I did against the Orlesians, like Maric and your _sister_ did. Would you divide Ferelden and destroy everything we worked for by demanding that we put your upstart bastard on the throne?"

Siobhan looked at Loghain. "You can unite this country rightnow_,_ Loghain. Step down as Regent, and work _with_ the Grey Wardens to end the Blight."

Loghain's eyes were like like daggers. "May I remind you that it was your order that led Cailan to his death."

Eamon eyebrows furrowed. "Loghain, what you have done to my country and my family is unforgivable and I will fight you with every fiber of my being. You _will_ loose, Regent_._ "

"The Emperor of Orlais also thought I could not bring him down. Expect no more mercy than I showed him. There is nothing I would not do for my homeland."*

Loghain turned and walked out of the room, Howe and Cauthrien following him.

Alistair ran his hand through his hair. "Well, that was such an exciting way to spend a morning."

Eamon gave Alistair a faint smile. "I would have used _bracing, _but you have the gist of it."

Siobhan let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, and wiped the tears from her eyes. "I know people have trouble with their in-laws, but this takes the cake."

Eamon smiled.

Alistair gently nudged Siobhan's shoulder. "Hey, I thought I'm supposed to be the comic relief."

* * *

Siobhan found a quiet part of the residence. She just needed to be alone. Being in Loghain's presence brought back all the gut-wrenching fear and rage she felt during those horrible days.

An image of Flemeth came unbidden to her mind, and she recalled the witch's words when she told Siobhan that Gareth lived.

"_A capricious thing, Destiny; but to fight against it will only ensure an early grave for both of you. If you want Gareth to live and if you want to be reunited, then you must embrace your destiny now and go forward."_

Siobhan began to rub her forehead. "You ancient hag, get out of my head!" _For Morrigan's sake, I'm grateful that Alistair was able to take a small group on a side-trip to the Wilds and kill you! I just find it hard to believe an ancient bitch like you is truly dead._

Feeling bitter and unsure, Siobhan continued to reflect on Morrigan's ritual. _Now all we need is for Kyle or Alistair to jump into Morrigan's bed and we're good to go. _

She looked at the ceiling as she ran a hand through her hair. _ I don't worry so much about Kyle. When we told him, he seemed _worldly_ enough to think of this as nothing but a dalliance. But, Alistair…Maker, I don't want his first time to be with Morrigan. _

Her emotions turned to rage. _Duncan, I want to bring you back to life, so I can kick your ass! How could you __not__ to tell us about the Archdemon? Alistair was a warden for six bloody months and he still wasn't told! You had us go after the maker-forsaken treaties, because you __knew__ we would need them, but you repeatedly failed to mention that a __Warden__ must make the ultimate sacrifice. It isn't even that long a conversation to have. When were you __going__ to tell us, the night before we battle the Archdemon? Maker, forgive you; I'm not sure _**_I_**_ can._

Siobhan put her head in her hands.

* * *

The next morning, Samuel and Siobhan left for their meeting with Marjolaine. It was still an unpopular decision, but they all found it in them to support her.

When they found the apartment, Siobhan knocked. A very large, armored man opened the door.

"I am Siobhan, this is my bodyguard; I am expected."

He nodded and gestured the two of them inside. Across the entryway, was another door guarded by two other men. Siobhan and Samuel were ushered into what looked like the main room. Standing in front of them was a woman with shoulder back length hair, wearing an Orlesian-style dress.

Siobhan bowed her head slightly. "Marjolaine, thank you for agreeing to meet with me."

"After reading your mysterious note, how could I not?" Looking at Samuel. "Is this your guard?" She had a thick Orlesian accent.

"Yes, he is."

"My dear, don't you realize how silly it is to meet someone like me with only one lightly armored guard?"

"Silly, why? We'll just be talking." Siobhan tried to project a sense of naiveté.

Marjolaine looked at Siobhan the way a hawk looks at its prey_. _"Yes, we will be talking, but what if I don't like what I hear?

_Got her, she now she thinks she has the upper hand. _"How about we burn that bridge when we get to it?"

Marjolaine chuckled. "Alright, what isour mutual problem?"

"Actually, our problem is more of a _who_; Queen Anora and Rendon Howe."

Marjolaine was taken a bit aback at Siobhan's words. "What makes you think that Fereldan's queen and Rendon Howe would be problems for me?"

"May we sit down?"

"Of course." Marjolaine motioned to the two sofas.

"You haven't tried to kill Leliana, even though you've had ample opportunity. So, I asked myself, 'what could possibly stay her hand?'" Siobhan leaned forward. "It became clear to me that someone, other than Leliana, knows what happened that night in Denerim and they're threatening to expose you."

Marjolaine arched an eyebrow, but said nothing.

"May I take your silence as confirmation of my theory?"

"Perhaps, but I still do not see what this has to do with Anora and Howe?"

_Seems she is trying to find out how much I know. _"I know that Anora has a good spy network, and she's ruthless. I'm thinking she found out about you and Leliana, and then blackmailed you into blackmailing Howe. I also know that _you_ supplied the false note to Howe that implicated my father. Anora knows it as well."

For a brief moment, Marjolaine looked surprised. "Ah, Siobhan, is that not reason enough for _her_ to blackmail Howe directly?"

Siobhan shook her head and smiled. "Anora can't blackmail Howe because they're playing each other. Anora thinks Howe will help her be queen; Howe is going to kill her once they have removed all obstacles to the throne.

"How could you _know_ this?"

_Bingo – confirmation! _Siobhan grinned. "Because, my sources are far better than Anora's. Trust me, Anora will void your agreement once she's on the throne. You would be her last loose end."

"But, if Ireveal her arrangement with Howe…"

"Oh come now, Marjolaine, are the people of _Ferelden_ going to believe its Queen or an _Orlesian_?"

Marjolaine's eyes narrowed. Throughout this whole conversation, Siobhan had been impenetrably calm and matter-of-fact.

"You are so naïve, Siobhan. I know Leliana is one of your informants. I can get you to do anything I want, simply by threatening your precious friend's life."

"Yes, that's true. But you won't."

"And why is that?"

Siobhan gave her a big smile. "Marjolaine, Leliana isn't your enemy. Having her killed is simply petty revenge, and unworthy of the Game. For a Bard of your stature, there is more satisfaction in destroying two people who are trying to destroy each other, yes?"

Marjolaine sat back. She studied Siobhan for a while.

Siobhan was perfectly comfortable with the silence. _She is trying to rile me. Silly woman. That trick never works._

Siobhan wore the same matter-of-fact expression she had worn through this whole conversation. Still Marjolaine extended the silence.

Siobhan took a chance. "Leliana in not a threat."

Marjolaine's eyes grew wide for moment. "As long as she lives she can turn on me at any time. I cannot take that risk."

Siobhan and Leliana had already discussed this possibility and Siobhan's answer.

"I am not offering her up as a sacrifice, but if you feel you must silence her, then go ahead."

Marjolaine clearly wasn't expecting this. "You wear innocence as a mask, quite well. But I can see you are both cunning and ruthless, I applaud you."

"So, can we get to the business at hand?"

"Indeed, you are fortunate that I have documents detailing my dealings with Howe. As for the Queen, proof of her visit was quite easy to obtain, as she is so unkind to her handmaids."

"Wonderful, would you like to watch the festivities? If you're with my party, you can walk right into the Landsmeet."

"What about Leliana?"

"You must wait until _after_ the Landsmeet to take care of your business with Leliana."

Marjolaine looked thoughtful for a moment, then she looked at Siobhan and smiled. "You have a deal, Siobhan. Pierre, bring me the parcels from my trunk."

Evidence in hand, Siobhan got up to leave. "Thank you, Marjolaine."

Marjolaine smiled. "It has been a pleasure to work with a Fereldan who knows the Game."

Samuel and Siobhan left the apartment, when they were out of earshot. Samuel pulled Siobhan aside. "You didn't really mean what you said about Marjolaine killing Leliana, did you?"

Siobhan smiled. "Why do you think I invited her to the Landsmeet, which, by happy coincidence will be attended two assassins?"

Samuel grinned.

* * *

Siobhan returned to the residence in a good mood, until Alistair told her they were urgently needed in the Arl's study. When they got there, an elven woman, clearly a servant or maid was standing next to the Arl. She looked very frightened.

Eamon looked at Siobhan. "Thank the Maker, you're here. Erlina is Anora's handmaid. Please tell the Warden Commander what you told me."

Erlina's Orlesian accent and her fear turned her words to babble.

Siobhan gently touched Erlina's shoulder. Please, I will help the Queen, just slow down and tell us what happened?

**~oOOo~**

Alistair and Siobhan walking through the residence helping the servants gather their companions

"Siobhan, this is nothing but a trap!"

"I know that, Alistair, but you cannot go. We can't afford to loose the only warden who knows the joining ritual, something we need to talk about when we get through this. Now, back to the plan. We need Anora and Howe, alive…

"You want Howe, alive? You're kidding right? Have you talked to Fergus?"

"Fergus is not in command, nor is he one of my wardens. _Warden_ Alistair, can I please get through a complete sentence?"

Alistair shut his mouth and exhaled through his nose. "Yes, Commander."

"Thank you. The entire situation with my family was a gross miscarriage of justice. I am not going to stoop to his level; Howe will be taken to the Landsmeet and face justice as any other Fereldan subject would. I also want Howe to turn on Anora during the Landsmeet." Smiling at Alistair; her eyes twinkled in the candlelight. "For that I need you to receive some special coaching from Zevran."

Alistair snickered. "I have to admit, I do like that gleam in your eye. All right, what will Zevran be coaching on?"

Siobhan smiled. "He is going to teach you how to make Howe an offer he can't refuse."

Alistair looked stunned for a moment, and then nodded his head in agreement.

~oOOo~

Once the group was assembled, Siobhan quickly got down to business. We will break into two teams. My team will rescue Anora. The other, lead by Kyle, will be responsible for bringing in Howe, alive. My have Leliana, Kess, and Wynne. Kyle's has Samuel, Morrigan and Sten. We will enter the estate in teams, join up then split once we have a clear idea of the situation. If Howe has set a trap, I will make sure Anora gets back here safely. Kyle, it has to look like Howe died; that _we_ killed him. Anora cannot see Howe.

"You want Anora to think you're her protector?" Kyle asked.

Siobhan nodded. "Yes. Remember, all I know is that Howe, at Loghain's command, kidnapped my_ poor_ sister-in-law, my Queen, the last living connection to my dead husband."

The group laughed.

Before they left, Gareth came into the residence. She pulled him out of earshot of everyone.

Gareth looked worried. "I came as soon as I got the message. You're going to rescue Anora and kidnap Howe?"

"That's the gist of it. I want you to take Bryce, Lyla, Seika, and Aya to the barracks. You and Fergus have to stay here and stay completely out of sight. I need you to protect our family. You are the only one who can."

Gareth nodded. "I know this is probably a trap, but I understand why you're walking into it. But I swear to you, if you...if …you…just know that I will destroy that trio and everyone else involved." He pulled her into a kiss. Siobhan hugged him and said softly, "I will see you soon, my love."

"You'd better."

* * *

Escorted by two guards, a man limped into the residence. He was swarthy, with shoulder length dark hair and a full beard. Alistair, who had felt the taint, met them in the main hall.

The taller guard nodded to Alistair. "Ser Alistair, this man claims to be Grey Warden."

Alistair looked at the guard who'd spoken. "Yes, he is. Thank you for bringing him in… Roland and Jacob, right?"

"Yes, Ser." They were both chuffed that the Warden Commander's second remembered their names. Roland nodded at the dark haired man. "Do you need help getting him settled?"

"No, Jacob. Thank you for asking."

The Guards left. Alistair looked at the dark-haired warden. "You were present at my joining! Your name is…Riordan, right?"

Riordan nodded. "Yes, and you are Alistair, and a wonderful sight to see. I don't know what I would have done if your companions hadn't arrived when they did.

* * *

Perth and his team were the first to return. Sten was carrying a long sack, containing an unconscious Howe. They all looked banged up and a bit worse for wear, but otherwise all right.

Zevran looked at Sten. "Please put our …guest in the room we have prepared."

Sten nodded.

Once Howe was shackled to the couch, Zevran and Samuel set special traps and Morrigan sealed the room. Sten stood guard outside the door until two of of the Rainesfere/Chasind soldiers arrived to relieve him.

Zevran and Samuel quickly pulled Alistair into an empty room. "Is Anora back yet?"

"No, you're the first to arrive."

Samuel looked very worried. "Siobhan saw the guards filling the front entrance. She said she would take care of them, so they would not notice our leaving through the servant's entrance."

"_Braska!"_

Alistair's eyes widened.

Just then they heard another commotion. The three men went to find out what it was; they saw Anora, Leliana, Kess, and Wynne. Alistair looked at Anora.

"Where is Siobhan?"


	58. The Offer He Couldn't Refuse

**Chapter 57. The Offer He Couldn't Refuse**

Anora was about to speak, when Kess stepped forward. "The Commander surrendered to the Loghain's soldiers so that we could all leave unharmed. She is accused of murdering Howe."

Anora's face was a perfect blend of anger and sorrow. "I'm glad that snake is dead, but I wished it didn't mean _sacrificing_ my sister-in-law."

Alistair's blood was boiling. He towered over Anora. "You _let_ her be captured to save your _own_ hide?"

"What _else_ was I supposed to do? She came there to rescue _me_. What use would it have been to _anyone_ if they just captured me again? If you want to save her, you need to act fast. They would have taken her to Fort Drakon."

Morrigan had brought Eamon downstairs, where he heard the last of Anora's comments.

Eamon gave Anora a slight bow of the head, enough to not be considered out right rude, but clearly expressed Eamon's disdain. "Your Majesty, I'm glad to see you unharmed. Did I hear you correctly, Siobhan is at _Fort Drakon_?"

Anora put her hand over her heart. "Yes, I'm afraid so, Eamon. She surrendered herself to save our lives."

Eamon placed his hand delicately on Anora's arm. "Please let me escort to your room so you can rest after your harrowing experience." He looked back at Alistair, his meaning was clear. Alistair nodded.

Once Anora was out of earshot. Alistair looked at the group. "I want Wynne, Zevran, and Kyle to come with me."

Morrigan looked upset. "You should send me, I will be better in battle than the Circle Mage."

"Morrigan, I'm bringing Wynne to help _heal_ Siobhan, if necessary, and Maker, I hope it isn't. Remember, everyone, Howe is at the other end of the residence from Anora. She absolutely must not know Howe is _alive_. Those coming with me get your gear and let's go."

* * *

Siobhan slowly came back to consciousness. It took her few moments to realize she was lying on a stone floor and even longer to realize she was only wearing her smallclothes. As she sat up, her head pounded and the room began to spin making her stomach roil. Nauseous, she tried to make it to the corner of the room to vomit, but she didn't; the pain in her head and body was just too much. Wiping her hand across her mouth, she slowly looked around. Becoming more and more alert.

_Ok, I'm not chained. I'm in cell, alone, in my smalls. _Wincing she checked over her body to see if anything was broken. She panicked when she at the bruises on her thighs_. No. No. Please, no! _Then she relaxed and concentrated. _Praise the Maker, that's one thing they didn't do. A rib or two are broken and my ankle seems badly sprained. Everything else is just cuts and bruises._

Still feeling queasy, and having a blinding headache, Siobhan slowly started tending to her ankle. She nodded at the man in the next cell. _I know they'll mount a rescue, but I have no idea if the guards are going to continue talking to me with their fists. I have to escape now. _

Taking off her breast band, she used it to wrap up her ankle, well enough, so she could put some weight on it. Then she stood and steadied herself

"Guard, please, I'm ill. Help!"

Moments later, she heard the key in the lock; her muscles tensed.

"Eh? What you whining about?"

Trying to look weak, she covered her breasts with one arm and with the other pointed to where she'd vomited As the guard came closer to examine it, she removed her hand from her breasts; that was enough to distract the Guard, so she could knee him in the groin. As he doubled over in pain, Siobhan slammed her fists into the back of his head and he fell to the ground. Siobhan grabbed his dagger and knifed him in the back. She felt badly about it, but thought _now he can't come after me. _

She tried to walk normally. She wanted to scream, but gritted her teeth instead. The man in the next cell told her that her things were in the trunk by the door.

Pain; lanced through her body; she took the guard's keys, helmet, and sword, then limped out of the cell. _Maker, I can't be seen limping. _She opened the cell next to hers so the man could escape. Then she went to get her armor.

Getting into her armor quickly and quietly was almost impossible. It was very painful fitting her swollen ankle into her boot, and settling the breastplate against her ribs.

_Between the binding and my boot, I can barely bend or feel my ankle, at all. Maker, the breastplate feels very… different with out having a breast band there. All right Siobhan, save the observations for later, get moving._

She drank a couple of healing potions, which helped enough to get her going.

Fortunately, she found a guard uniform in the armory. The disguise, a little luck, some small fights and more healing potions, Siobhan made it to the entry hall. Between her head, her ribs and her ankle, she moved in a haze of pain, but the door was in sight.

Suddenly, she heard footsteps behind. She turned towards the sound, holding up her shield. Then she heard a voice that _sounded_ like Wynne's.

"Thank the Maker. Alistair, there's she is."

Her vision started to get very blurry as she saw a two large man and a grey haired woman approach her. She tried to focus, but couldn't. To be safe she kept her shield up and bashed the larger man. Alistair staggered back.

"Siobhan, it's me, Alistair. We need to get you out of here."

Her vision cleared briefly and she saw them. "Alistair… is Anora all right?"

"Yes. Come on, we need to leave."

Siobhan tried to step forward. But the relief of being rescued brought back the all the pain. For Siobhan, the room spun and everything went black.

* * *

Zevran brought Fergus and Gareth into the Barracks and told them the situation. Gareth's voice could be heard outside. "Fort Drakon! She surrendered to save…my…The _Queen_! I have to…"

Zevran noticed just how intimidating Gareth could be when angry. His height, eyes like ice and his face a mask of rage. It required Kasch and Kyle to hold Gareth's arms and stop him from leaving.

Zevran's voice was one of command. "Gareth! You _must_ stay here with Fergus. Even as we speak, Alistair has gone to Fort Drakon to rescue her. You _cannot be seen_ and you certainly _cannot_ waltz into Fort Drakon. Please, _amico mio_, for Siobhan's sake you _must_ wait here."

Fergus was almost as angry as Gareth. "So, we saved Anora? What about Howe?"

Zevran was quiet. _What should I tell him?_He knew Siobhan's plans and they didn't involve keeping Fergus and Gareth in the dark.

Fergus was getting impatient. "Zevran! What. About. Howe."

"Siobhan had him captured. He's in the residence, heavily guarded."

Fergus was now in a murderous rage. Gareth came out of his enough to put his hands on his brother-in-laws shoulders. "Fergus, you know Siobhan. Revenge isn't in her. I know how she thinks; Howe _will_ see justice, as will the Queen and Loghain. I promise you."

Zevran nodded. "I need to go back to the residence. I will send for you as soon as they return."

They arrived with Siobhan in Alistair's arms. Zevran suggested they take her to the barracks, so Gareth didn't have to come into the residence. Alistair sent word to the residence to inform Eamon of what was going on. They had almost to the barracks when Gareth and Fergus met them.

Seeing his wife, limp in Alistair's arms, Gareth thought his world was coming to an end. His voice was a strained whisper. "Alistair?"

Alistair smiled. "She's alive, just banged up pretty well."

Gareth felt his heart continue to beat. He showed them to them to the officer's barracks.

Wynne shooed Alistair out and back to the residence. Gareth refused to leave his wife's side.

"Gareth, I need you to get her undressed."

Tears streamed down his face, when he saw the extent of her injuries. Aya arrived to help. Wynne, noticing the bruises on her thighs, made Gareth turn his head as she examined her.

Between the Aya and Wynne, they mended her ribs and sprained ankle, removed the worst of the bruising and healed all of the cuts. She had a severe concussion, but Aya was able to lessen it. Instead of being unconscious, Siobhan just slept.

Gareth was sitting on a chair next to Siobhan's head. Wynne put a hand on his shoulder.

"Gareth?"

"Wynne?"

Her voice was very soft. "You wife was not violated."

Gareth put his head in his hands in wept in relief. After a while, he looked up at Wynne and rubbed his face. "Why are you smiling?"

There is a saying I heard once. "Nature always finds a way."

Gareth looked puzzled.

"Gareth, Siobhan is pregnant."

* * *

It was nearly dinnertime; Siobhan had been brought back to the residence. Howe was awake and Alistair decided to bring him his dinner.

Howe was now shackled to a chair with his hands free so he could eat. Shale stood behind him. Alistair sat near him.

After Howe uttered a stream of invectives, Alistair could see that Howe's hunger got the best of him as he tore into the food.

After he was sated, he looked at Alistair. "Why am I alive?"

"Would you rather be dead? That _can_ be arranged." He gestured towards Shale.

Howe slowed his breathing; he looked confused.

_Ok, here goes. _"I would like to make a deal with you."

"I'm listening."

"You understand that you will _never_ be Fereldan's king, right?"

Howe growled. "I am still _Teyrn_ of Highever and Arl of Amaranthine, and of Denerim."

"Do you think that the Landsmeet will let you _live_, much less keep those titles?"

Alistair saw Howe's expression change to one of acceptance. "You have a point."

Alistair tried to keep his voice relaxed as possible. "Anora was rescued from of your estate in Denerim, and she has been blaming you for _everything_ that happened to her. She told us that it was all _your_ idea to manipulate her father's loyalties, how you and Loghain were the only conspirators and how she was just an innocent bystander."

Howe struggled with his bonds, nearly foaming at the mouth. "That lying _bitch_!"

Alistair scratched the back of his head. "That's about how I thought you'd react. What if I were to tell you that you could publicly humiliate her _and_ Loghain, and have them executed for their crimes?"

"Aside from the obvious…_enjoyment_, what else would _I _get?"

"Your life."

Howe looked at Alistair. "All right, what is your offer?"

_Here goes. _"The offer is this: after the Landsmeet names me King, I will have you spirited away; you will take all of your gold from Amaranthine and Denerim, a few, _attentive_ servants, then you will board ship bound for Antiva. Zevran, as you recall, is an Antivan Crow, and I had him set you up with a place to live and some contacts. _I _will tell everyone here that you've been executed, and you can start a new life _well_ _away_ from Ferelden.

"Why are you willing to do this? Surely your _Commander_ will object?"

"She supports _my_ bid for the throne, besides, you will be 'executed,' remember? Siobhan will think that justice has been served, while you're on the way to Antiva. As to _why_ am I doing this? I want Loghain defeated, _utterly_ humiliated, and executed for killing my brother."

Alistair could see the surprise in Howe's face. "I always _assumed_ you to be simply a naïve chantry boy. "

Alistair threw his head back and laughed. "Oh, I _was_ a chantry boy, and no one knows how to manipulate people better than the Chantry. I was training as a Templar, but had a few _extracurricular_ studies. Besides, was it _Loghain_ who told you I was naïve and untested? Do you actually think he was telling you the _truth? _What better way to bend you to _his_ will than by keeping you in the dark and feeding you shit? Tell me, just how much has he fed you over the past year? "

Howe was silent.

"Would you like me to tell you _why_ Marjolaine blackmailed you?" He paused for effect. "_Anora _told her to. Loghain wanted to 'break you in.' At least, that's what Marjolaine said."

Howe remembered the meeting with Loghain when he came to Amaranthine to talk about his troops.

Howe's lips curled over his teeth. "Apparently, _longer_ than I thought."

Alistair pulled up a chair and sat in front of Howe. "You help me take my Father'sthrone and I let you live with enough money to start a new life _anywhere_ in Thedas, _except here_. As a bonus, you get to take down both Anora _and_ Loghain publicly. Considering your current circumstances, it _is_ a mutually beneficial agreement and a far sight better than losing your head." Alistair stood up and stretched. "I know this is a lot to take in; I'll give you some time to think about it."

Alistair could see in Howe's eyes how his anger was nearly overpowering his reason.

"I have to admit, there is a certain _poetry_, for Loghain's downfall to be at the _hands_ of Maric's son. You have a deal…_Sire_."

Alistair nodded. "I will have your restraints removed, but you cannot leave this room until the Landsmeet, the element of surprise is critical. We must let Anora spout her lies first."

Howe nodded. "Wise."

Alistair left and met with Zevran and Samuel.

"A brilliant performance, my dear Templar."

Alistair smiled, feeling very self-satisfied. "It _was_ pretty good wasn't it? Zev, you're sure he can't get out of that room?"

"Howe cannot leave his cage. I will not tell you all that we have done to prepare the room. Howe won't be able to leave until Sten and Samuel take him to the Landsmeet."

"Thank you, Zevran; I couldn't have done it without your coaching."

"Yes, I know. Perhaps later we can discuss how to _express_ your gratitude?"

Alistair laughed. "You never do give up. What I really need now is a bath, I feel _unclean_."

Zevran nodded. "Please, let me know if you need help reaching your back?"

Samuel laughed. "Zev, how many times have I told you? _You_ have to learn to share."

Zevran's voice was as smooth as silk. "Perhaps, you can teach me some more."

* * *

**AN:** A big thank you to all who have been following this story. Special thank yous to Shakespira, xSeikax, and kdarnell2 for you reviews. Hugs and thanks to my awesome Beta, Nithu.

Yes, the tile was a reference to the movie "The Godfather." Shakespira's wonderful story, "With Noble Intent," is chock full of pop-culture references. So this is my small homage to her.


	59. And I, You

**AN: ** The next chapter will be the Landsmeet. This is the calm before the storm for our three couples, and I thought they deserved their own chapter. **  
**

**Chapter 58. And I, You**

Siobhan was under strict orders, enforced by her husband, to stay in bed for the remainder of the day _and rest_. Behaving, "for once," she was lying down comfortably, curled up next to Gareth, who had Bryce on his lap. They were taking turns tickling him. He had just started to laugh, what Siobhan called a "whole-body giggle," and she and Gareth indulged themselves, shamelessly, in finding ways to make him laugh. Bryce's current favorite was having a raspberry blown on his tummy.

Siobhan took great joy in these moments, her small family together and happy. When Bryce started to fuss for his dinner; Lyla came and took him into the other room.

Gareth lay down, Siobhan moved into his waiting arms, resting her head on his chest. After a few moments, Gareth cleared his throat. "I have something to tell you."

Arching her eyebrow. "Am I going to like this?"

"I think so, yes."

"Okaaaay." Siobhan raised her self up on one elbow and looked at her husband.

Gareth smiled. She was surprised to see _tears_ in his eyes. "Siobhan, while Wynne was healing you…she found out that you're pregnant."

Siobhan was in shock. She didn't think it was possible to get pregnant so soon after Bryce was born. After a few moments, she started to laugh and cry, and threw her arms around Gareth and he held her tightly. Siobhan looked up and chuckled. "It seems, my beloved, that nature finds a way."

"That's what Wynne said. I love you, _cariad_."

"And I, you."

* * *

When Fergus came into the room, Aya was brushing her long dark hair. He quietly closed the door, and leaned against the wall, just watching. _Maker, I don't I deserve to be this happy, but I'm grateful that __**you**__ think I do. _

Aya didn't turn around. "You know, it's not polite to stare."

"Oh, I'm not staring, my love; I'm admiring and worshiping, but not staring."

Aya was wearing one of Fergus' favorite nightgowns; it was an emerald green that brought out the green in her eyes, and made her tan skin glow. After a few moments, she put down her hairbrush, slowly rose from the chair, and walked, seductively to Fergus. Gently sliding her hands up his arms. "You know, you don't have to worship me from _afar_."

Fergus lifted her chin up and looked into her eyes. "So, how _does_ my goddess wish to be worshiped?"

The smile Aya gave Fergus was so full of desire that he almost took her there, against the wall. Instead, he picked her up and laid her down on the bed, settling himself along side her. "You have not answered my question."

"Well, I am not the kind of goddess who likes bowing, offerings, or sacrifices."

"Good, because I had something more _enjoyable_ in mind."

"Oh?"

"MmHm," Fergus hummed as he started caressing her body, her breasts, the flat plane of her stomach, the warm skin of her inner thighs, before resting his hand on her hip. He felt her pulse race as he kissed her neck, along the side of her jaw, then he gently took her earlobe between his teeth and whispered. "I'm going to worship _every_ inch of your body; I want to make you moan and writhe beneath me." He gently brushed her lips with his, then looked into her eyes. "I love you."

"And I, you."

* * *

Alistair was tired. He'd already bathed and was about to climb into bed when the, ever-present, Grey Warden hunger intruded, and overruled his body's desire for sleep.

_Andraste's ass! I just ate two candles ago. _Alistair continued to grumble and mutter as he slipped on his tunic and britches, then he, quietly, padded down the stairs. On his way to the larder, he saw Seika, sitting in the kitchen, having a snack. She started and looked up. "Alistair! I would have thought you'd be asleep. Are you all right?"

Alistair smiled at the genuine concern in her voice and nodded. "Yes, just fine."

Then his stomach loudly rumbled.

"I think your stomach disagrees."

"It's a Grey Warden stomach; it isn't happy unless it's _actually_ having food shoved in it. I'm beginning to think it's its own entity."

"Just like having a ungrateful guest, who never leaves."

His stomach rumbled, again. Alistair rolled his eyes then looked at his abdomen. "Did you hear the lady? You're just an ungrateful bugger."

Again, it rumbled.

Seika came over to Alistair, gently put her hand on his abdomen and hummed. Alistair was so surprised to feel his stomach calm down; he forgot to be awkward at Seika's touch.

Seika quickly stepped away, blushing. "I'm…I'm sorry for assuming…"

Alistair reached out for her hand and brought it to his lips. "Don't be…I'm not."

Alistair, looking at her eyes, could see her emotions go from embarrassment, to surprise, to happiness. _Maker, she can just about talk her eyes_. Feeling emboldened, he kissed her hand; just a brush of his lips.

Seika blushed again; Alistair released her hand, and they simply looked at each other.

Then Alistair's stomach rumbled, again. He hung his head. _Shit._

Seika smiled. "It seems that we need to satisfy your unwanted guest. The larder is stocked with a wonderful white cheddar, and a variety of other cheeses."

She took his hand to pull him to the larder, but Alistair gently pulled her back towards him, until she was in his arms. He gently brushed a few strands of her hair out of her eyes. "You are amazing, Seika. Around women, I've always been awkward and nervous; I talk too much, say the wrong things, or at least think I do, but when I'm with you, I feel confident, comfortable in my own skin. Does any of that make sense or am I rambling again?"

Seika gently caressed the side of his face. "It does make sense… and when I'm with you, sunshine fills my soul."

Alistair gently lifted her chin to and kissed her. Seika's arms slid around his neck as Alistair's pulled her close and cradled the back of her head. The kiss grew more passionate as she opened her mouth to him, and they began a gentle dance of tongues. Seika nipped at his bottom lip, Alistair kissed the side of her jaw, Seika moaned, and her breath hitched. Then she pulled away. "I'm sorry, that was probably too soon, I…." Alistair put his finger against her lips. "We won't do anything that you're not ready for, just know that I care for you, deeply."

"And I, you."


	60. The Landsmeet

**AN: **A heartfelt thank you to _all_ who have followed and reviewed this story. A special thanks to my beta, Nithu**  
**

**Chapter 59. The Landsmeet**

The next morning, Siobhan went to visit Anora. As soon as she walked in the room Anora fussed over her like a mother hen. Despite Siobhan's protests, Anora made her lie down on the couch and had some warm cider sent up, before she would consider sitting down.

"Siobhan, before I say _anything_ else, I want you to know how _devastated_ I was when I heard about your family." Tears came to Anora's eye. "You and I have lost so much, our brothers, our husbands. Even now I can't believe Cailan's…gone. I was so upset; I named my father regent until I could get on my feet. _Clearly_ he had other plans."

Anora dabbed her tear-filled eyes. "And your _family..._last year, I could not have _believed_ that my father and Howe were capable of such a _despicable_ act. Poor Eleanor and Bryce. I really enjoyed getting to know them when I came for that visit. I don't know how you've been able to stay so strong."

_Impressive performance. _"It's my duty to defeat the blight. I _must_ to protect my country. That helps. How have _you _been able to keep going?"

"Very much as you have, by working to protect Ferelden. Which is why I confronted my father; of course that's why I ended up as Howe's prisoner. If you hadn't arrived, I…I don't think I would have come out of there alive."

_Well, at least that much is true. _"Anora, you _have_ to tell this all to the Landsmeet."

Anora nodded. "I will, but I need your help. I know Eamon wants to put Alistair on the throne, but I don't believe that to be in Ferelden's best interest. Sure, he's biddable enough, but that's the problem. Ferelden needs a leader who can stand up for themselves and not be so easily swayed."

"Well, Alistair is _less_ biddable than you think, but what else do you have in mind?"

"I should _remain_ Queen. I have been running this country since I _married_ Cailan. I was raised to _understand_ Fereldan politics. Can you say the same about Alistair?"

Siobhan pretended to think over Anora's words, as if she were taking them to heart. "You do raise some good points, but…"

"You know, I would be a better ruler than Alistair. Does he even want to be King?"

Siobhan hung her head. "No, he doesn't."

"All the more reason to support my bid for the throne. We don't even have to sway Eamon; we just need to convince the majority of the Landsmeet. We are a _family_, Siobhan, as sisters we will form a united front. The Mac Tir and Cousland women would be a hard team to ignore."

_I like the way she now uses 'we.' _ "To sway the Landsmeet, Anora, we're going to have to expose your father's actions and link him to Howe."

Anora nodded. "We need to do what is best for Ferelden, regardless of our _personal_ feelings. I assure you, Siobhan, we can do this, _if_ I have your support."

Siobhan sat up and held Anora's hand. "You're right, I can't abandon family." She was able to bring tears to her own eyes. "I…owe it to Gareth…to protect his homeland and to my father to clear our family name. I will support you Anora. You're quite right; together we are unstoppable. One thing, Eamon will not consider anyone but Alistair for the throne, and up until now, he had my support. I think it's best to let him keep on thinking so. We _need_ to keep Eamon in the dark, until the Landsmeet."

Anora smiled. "Indeed, _no one_ should know about this until then."

"I can connect Rendon Howe to _many_ things, but are there specific things we can tie to your father?"

Anora looked thoughtful. "I understand there is some unrest at the alienage and I'm sure my father is behind whatever it is."

"All right, Alistair and I will check it out. If there's anything else, please let me know. One thing though…" Siobhan looked sheepish.

"Yes?"

"We will have to tell _everything_ to the Landsmeet. They need to hear all about Howe's actions and how he manipulated your father, and their conspiracy to keep you, o_ur Queen_, as a prisoner!"

Anora smiled. "I see you and I are of a like mind. We will have more than enough information to bring Howe's nefarious schemes to light and how _he_ conspired with my father to accomplish them."

Siobhan smiled, innocently. "You know, after your visit to Highever, I wrote to Gareth about how much it felt like we were sisters…I…hoped that you felt that way too."

Anora put her hand gently on Siobhan's shoulder. "I do, I really do."

Siobhan smiled_. _

* * *

After his encounter with Seika, Alistair went to bed a happy man. He woke up feeling a sense of…_pride_. He had accomplished many things in the last year that he could ever have imagined when he was just a warden recruit.

_Now, I see the world as it really is. Not some fantasyland where idealism reigns. I know that, in reality, life gets messy. Things don't always come together neatly and aren't always fair, and sometimes the line between good and bad can be blurry. _

Alistair looked up to the ceiling, _Duncan, forgive me for putting you on a pedestal, I know you would have hated it. You're human just like me, flawed, as are we all. While I will always be grateful for the care you showed to me, I need to make my own path. _

A knock interrupted Alistair's thoughts.

"Enter."

Riordan stormed through the door and the set of his jaw told Alistair that the Senior Grey Warden was not happy, at all.

Riordan's voice was like a whip's lash. "Siobhan _does not_ carry the taint! Yet _she_ is Warden Commander! What in the Maker's name have _you_ _done_?"

"Please, Riordan let me explain."

"It had better be a good or I will put her through the joining _right now_!"

Alistair calmly explained how Siobhan came to the Wardens and the deal made with Duncan."

"But she has already given birth! _Why_ have you delayed the joining? _Why_ have you gone against your agreement with Duncan?"

"Riordan, I was the _only_ warden left in Ferelden and Loghain wouldn't allow the Orlesian wardens to cross the boarder. I didn't have _half_ the tactical and leadership skills Siobhan has. At _my_ request, she, reluctantly_,_ became Commander and I was her Second. As for my agreement with Duncan, I broke it because it was made not knowing that _any_ of this would happen, and I felt it was in the best interests of fighting this Blight."

"_You_ think you know more than, _Duncan_! You have been going all over Ferelden as the _only _Grey Warden! What happened if you'd died? "

"Siobhan would have gotten the information and supplies from my pack and recruited more wardens."

"Well, now the Archdemon has shown itself and I'm here. Either you or I will step in to the Commander's place."

"Damn it, Riordan! You just don't get it! If it weren't for _her_ leadership, we wouldn't have a _chance_ against the horde, much less the Archdemon! She _will_ lead the troops into battle; it's _her_ they will follow. If we put her through the Joining now and she dies, then what?"

Riordan was still angry; his mouth was a thin line. "I see _why_ this has been done; I see the logic. However, if she dies from the Joining, than I think _you_ can step in and lead the armies yourself, with little problem. We _must_ put Siobhan through the Joining right after the Landsmeet, or else."

"Or else _what_, Riordan? "

"She must be prevented from sharing Grey Warden secrets."

Alistair remembered what Duncan did to Jory. _Would Riordan actually kill Siobhan?_

Riordan's voice intruded in to Alistair's thoughts. "Do you know what it takes to kill an Archdemon?"

Alistair cringed inside. _If Riordan doesn't like Siobhan knowing Grey Warden secrets, he is going to hate our plan to kill the Archdemon._

"We know that a warden must make the ultimate sacrifice, so the Archdemon _actually_ dies, and we know why…it was something we were able to wheedle it out of Duncan before the battle."

"Well, then you should know that it is _traditional_ for the senior warden to make the sacrifice. If I cannot, it will fall to Siobhan as the Commander, then you, then to Perth."

"I understand, Riordan." _But I won't let it happen._

~oOOo~

Siobhan was having a private lunch with Eamon. Anora elected to stay in her rooms for the day. Siobhan told him about the liberation of those locked in Howe's dungeon, including the torture of Bann Sighard's son. "Eamon, I also found the templar who was waylaid while taking Jowan to the Circle. When we found him, he was _out of his mind_ with Lyrium withdrawal. Turns out he is Bann Alfstanna's brother."

"That is unbelievable! Will you make contact with Bann Sighard and Bann Alfstanna, today? We will need their support at the Landsmeet."

"I will. We also have to look at the unrest in the Alienage. Anora seems to think it's somehow Loghain's doing."

~oOOo~

Siobhan and Gareth only told the family, including Alistair, about her pregnancy. While everyone began hugging each other, Fergus, Gareth, and Alistair were particularly pleased. As _they knew it _would put off Siobhan's Joining. After hearing the news, Alistair went straight to Riordan.

"She's pregnant, we cannot put her through the Joining, Riordan."

"Riordan looked at Alistair, his eyes narrowed as he studied the younger man. "Rather convenient. Are you sure?"

"_Don't you dare_ impugn Siobhan's integrity, _ever_! I don't _care_ if you are senior warden, if you try to force the Joining on her now, I _will_ kill you. Are we clear?"

The venom in Alistair's voice and his threat was so unexpected, that Riordan took a step back. It told him more about this woman's worth than he'd originally thought. "All right, stand down, Alistair. If Duncan would not put a pregnant woman joining, than neither will I. I only hope that we are not dooming our fight against the Archdemon.

"Riordan, at the risk of sounding conceited, we were ready to face and destroy the Archdemon, _before_ you arrived.

~oOOo~

Siobhan took Alistair, Morrigan and Leliana, to the GnawedNoble so Siobhan could speak to Bann Sighard and Bann Alfstanna. Both Banns recognized her as a Bryce's daughter and were quick to mention that they never doubted her father's loyalty. They were also so grateful to Siobhan's for saving Sighard's son and Alfstanna's brother, that they pledged their support andto spread the word of Howe and Loghain's actions to the other Banns and urge them to support the wardens.

Feeling a sense of accomplishment, the group went to the Alienage, to find that elves were being _sold_ to Tevinter slavers. When they found the blood mage who led the slavers, Siobhan was so mad, that she practically eviscerated him. They searched his corpse and found the agreement between the salvers slavers and Loghain, and released all the elves being held there, but there was nothing they could do for to the ones that were already taken to Tevinter. The whole experience weighed heavily on Siobhan and her group as they returned to the residence.

When Siobhan returned, she told Eamon and Anora about the Alienage. Anora seemed genuinely disgusted by it, and railed against her father.

Eamon was stunned. "Loghain, the one who fought with the Night Elves, was selling elves into slavery? Surely, he has gone mad."

Dinner, that night, was very tense; the Landsmeet was the next day and its outcome would decide how and when they would fight the horde and the Archdemon.

* * *

The morning of the Landsmeet, Siobhan, Alistair and Riordan met to review the plans. Siobhan looked directly at Alistair. "I want to be clear on this, I _will_ attempt to have Loghain conscripted, we need all the Warden's necessary when we face the Archdemon. Can you accept that?"

Alistair nodded. "I think if it were a few months ago, I wouldn't have, but now I understand _and_, more importantly, agree with the reasons. Duncan would have done the same thing in this situation."

Riordan, who had been mostly silent, nodded then, spoke up, "Siobhan, you know that I wanted you to put you through the Joining, as soon as I found out you didn't carry the taint?" Siobhan nodded. "Now that you're pregnant, that is no longer possible. But I find myself agreeing with Alistair, _no one_ should take your place as Commander. "Taint or not, Lass, you've restored some of the pride the wardens have lost."

"Thank you, Riordan. That means a lot to me."

~oOOo~

As planned, they arrived at the Landsmeet while it was already in progress. It would make it much easer to bring in Howe and Marjolaine. Unfortunately, they encountered Cauthrien, guarding the door. She was ready to fight them to keep them out of the Landsmeet.

Siobhan put down her weapon, put her hands out, and stepped forward. "Ser Cauthrien, you have fought for the Teyrn for many years. I don't think there is a single person in this kingdom who has displayed the kind of loyalty to their liege lord as you have. Surely, you _must_ have seen the changes in him? You could not possibly be blind to how his fears for Ferelden's safety have become twisted and paranoid. Let me help him, please."

Cauthrien bowed her head. "Stop him, Warden. Stop him from betraying everything he once loved. Please...show mercy. Without Loghain, there would be no Ferelden to defend."

When they opened to door to the Landsmeet, Siobhan heard Loghain. "The _better_ question is who will pull the strings?"

_Perfect timing. _Siobhan and her party had entered. Siobhan and Alistair in front followed by Wynne, Leliana and Morrigan, Sten and Kess with a helmeted Howe between them, and Marjolaine, who hid in the shadows.

Loghain watched Siobhan walk up the hall. "Ahh, here we have the puppeteer! Tell us warden, how will the Orlesians take our nation from us? Will they send their troops, or simply issue their commands through this _would be_ prince. What did they offer you? How much is the price of Fereldan honor?"

Siobhan was calm, her voice clear and sounded every bit like the noblewoman she was. "You would know better than _I_. You _sold_ _your honor_ it to an _Orlesian_ Bard, and an _Antivan_ spy. How much _Ferelden gold_ did it cost you to obtain the forged letters you used against my family?"

Those assembled sat in stunned silence

"Surely Loghain, you _must_ remember this?" Siobhan up one of the parchments, and read it aloud. "Wasn't this what you used to _justify_ Rendon Howe's _massacre_ of my family?" Siobhan turned to face the assembly. "Lords and the Ladies of the Landsmeet, I am here as both a warden and a Cousland, and I formally request that charge of treason against my father, be expunged. I have proof that this note was purchased from an _Orlesian_ Bard, and letter of confession was purchased from and _Antivan_ spy.

Loghain hissed, "Warden, you make a mockery out of these proceedings. This has no relevance to the issue at hand."

Siobhan spoke to Loghain directly. "I give you one chance, Loghain Mac Tir; read this correspondence from the _sister_ who purportedly witnessed my father's confession, then tell me _who_ is mocking this assembly."

Loghain looked through the papers, including the correspondence between Howe and Celwyddwr. He visibly paled. "I acted on the information of my advisor, Rendon Howe. Howe, it seems, _intentionally_ misled me. He will answer to the Maker, for his crimes, as must we all, but _you_ know that, you were the one who _murdered_ him. Whatever Howe had done he should have been brought before the seneschal!

"Interesting, that my father wasn't afforded the same custom."

Loghain's voice laced with disdain. "I formally withdraw the charge of treason."

"A little too late, but I'll accept it. Let us return to the true issue at hand. You chose _Rendon_ _Howe_ as an advisor? So he's the one who _advised_ you to steal a Blood Mage away from the templars, so you could poison Arl Eamon? He _advised_ you to hire an Antivan crow, to assassinate Alistair and me? He _advised_ you to sell the elves into slavery? Did your _advisor_ inform you of the people he tortured during his short term as _Arl_ of Denerim?"

Bann Sighard, Bann Alfstanna, as well as the Grand Cleric, had plenty to say about Howe's torture chambers, and interfering with a templar's duty. Then, before Loghain had a chance to speak, Siobhan read aloud the agreement between Loghain and Caladrius about the elven slaves.

When she was done, she looked pointedly at Loghain. "You mean to tell us that you followed _every_ suggestion from your advisor, and never questioned it? Either you are incompetent or complicit. Neither is a quality one wants in a Regent; wouldn't you agree?"

Loghain was undaunted. "Whatever I have done, I will answer for it, _later_. Tell me, Warden, what have you _done_ with my daughter, our Queen! Is she even still alive?"

"I believe I can speak for myself." Anora entered the chambers. "Lords and ladies of Ferelden, hear me. My father is no longer the man you know. This man is not the Hero of River Dane; this man turned his troops aside and refused to protect your king as he fought bravely against the Darkspawn. This man seized Cailan's throne before his body was cold, and colluded with Rendon Howe to perpetrate acts of unspeakable depravity.

Anora started to cry as she continued. "'Rendon Howe's only desire was the power to take the throne. He manipulated my father into doubting _me_ and doubting Cailan. Howe and my father _conspired_ to lock me away, so I couldn't reveal their treachery. I would have already been killed had it not been for this woman, who is both a Grey Warden and my sister-in-law."

Siobhan looked at both Loghain and Anora. "Hmm, I don't believe that this is the whole picture. What say you, Arl Howe?"

On queue, Sten and Kess released Howe who walked straight up to Anora, then took off his helmet. Anora and Loghain looked liked they were seeing a ghost. Anora looked towards Siobhan, who merely smiled.

"You lying, traitorous, whore! You _repeatedly_ lied to your father to make him _think_ that Cailan had been _unfaithful_ to you. _You_ fanned flames of your father's anger against our King, hoping he would kill him, giving _you_ the throne. It was _your_ idea to force your father to strike out at you, so Loghain would be held responsible and be removed as Regent. That's why _you_ _came_ to my Denerim estate that's why _you_ _asked_ for me to detain you!" Howe slowly shook his head. "_Poor girl_, you _really_ thought that _I _was helping _you_ take the throne. Yes, I played my part; but you _cannot_ proclaim your innocence, Anora. You sold out your father like a fishwife sells her wares."

Howe looked at Alistair, who nodded, and faced the Landsmeet. "I'm sure all assembled would all like to know that _our Queen_ failed to mention that Cailan kicked her out of his bedroom, after she emasculated him for having visited Orlais. The boy was _so hurt_, it tugged my heart." Howe paused then continued. "Cailan gave her a choice: If she was so unhappy, then he would let her out of the marriage, or she could continue being Queen and know her place. Anora, obviously, chose to _remain Queen_."

He looked at Anora, his voice full of venom. "How did it _feel_ when Cailan took you like a whore that night? He didn't pay you in sovereigns like a common whore, did he? He paid you with _power_."

Anora's face showed her surprise and her guilt, but Howe wasn't done. "Yes, you manipulative shrew. I _heard_ that, as did several of the palace staff. I _taught_ you the art of subterfuge, and you _excelled_ at it! You _wanted_ that power! You could _taste_ it! You and your pathetic father were never a match for me! Were it not for this meddlesome Grey Warden, I could have taken _everything_. The throne and the power to bend this country to _my_ will!

The Seneschal assigned guards to Howe.

After that, with the exception of Bann Ceorlic, the Landsmeet sided with the Wardens.

Siobhan looked at Loghain. "It's over, Loghain. Step down, gracefully, please."

Instead Loghain went into a murderous rage. "Traitors! Which of you stood against the Orlesian emperor when his troops flattened your fields and raped your wives! _None of you_ deserve a say in what happens here. _None of you _have spilled blood for this land the way as _I have_. How _dare_ you judge _me_?"

Siobhan took her shield from her back. "I didn't want it to come to this. _You and I_ must settle this, here and now."

Loghain looked weary but confident. "Yes, let us _end_ this. A man is made by the quality of his enemies, Maric told me that once. I wonder if it is more of a complement to you or me? "

Siobhan's voice was gentle."I have _never_ been your enemy, Loghain."

Loghain ignored her words. "Will you face me yourself or do you have a champion?"

Siobhan was about to say no, when a voice called from the back of the hall. "_I_ will be her champion."

"Who is this, another _Orlesian_ perhaps?"

Siobhan slowly shook her head._ This was never part of the plan._

Up the hall strode a tall, broad-shouldered man in dragon bone plate, he projected confidence, and his presence rolled out before him like a wave.

The man took off the helmet. "No. I am your son."

Those assembled looked on in stunned silence. Loghain looked in disbelief, then the reality set in. "Gareth? No, this is a plot. Gareth is dead. _Who_ are you?"

"I'm the one, whose _wife_ you tried to destroy, while she was carrying my son. I'm the one whose best friend you let _die_ at the hands of the Darkspawn. Regrettably, I am your _son_!"

Loghain tried to stand firm. "No. No. This is wrong. This isn't possible."

Gareth's temper erupted. "Andraste's sake, old man, trust your eyes! Look around you. Do you _remember_ when I warned you about fighting Anora's battles, about blind spots existing where you _least_ expect them? You thought _you_ were using _Howe_. Look at the evidence, who _exactly_ was using who?"

Gareth looked at Bann Alfstanna. "Name the terms of the duel."

"By custom, the duel will continue until one side yields. The Landsmeet will abide by the outcome."

Siobhan looked at Gareth, her voice a whisper. "Why are you doing this? This is my fight?"

Gareth spoke softly. "Shhhh, _cariad_, this is necessary." He turned away for Siobhan and looked at his father. "Prepare yourself." Gareth put his helmet back on.

Silence filled the Landsmeet; it was so quiet one could hear a pin drop. Loghain hung his head, and then looked at Siobhan. "No! I will not duel you, Gareth." He looked towards Siobhan. "I have deeply wronged you, Siobhan. I let my prejudices blind me to reality, and as a result, I let myself be led astray by those I thought I could trust. There is strength in you that I never took the time to see, but fortunately, my son _did_. I yield to the Landsmeet for judgment."

Bann Alfstanna looked down at Siobhan. "We have no king or queen to exercise the right of High Justice."

Siobhan stood before the Landsmeet. "Lords and Ladies of Ferelden, I ask that you select a regent to _unite_ us as we battle the Blight. I ask that this regent only hold the throne _in trust_ for whomever _you chose,_ once the Blight is over. Lords and Ladies of the Landsmeet, you can do what you were _meant_ to do"

The Landsmeet cheered.

Howe's eyes widened and he yelled. "Alistair is of _Theirin_ Blood. He should take the throne!

Alistair smiled. "While I am flattered, Arl Howe, I have _no_ intention of becoming king."

"You bastard, you tricked me."

"I did, didn't I?"

Howe face pinched in disgust. "Why you…"

He was cuffed by one of the guards then gagged.

Siobhan urged. "Name a regent. They will carry out the right of High Justice."

Bann Ceorlic sneered at Siobhan. "Without Loghain you have _no_ chance to defeat this blight."

"You know, Ceorlic, my father was always amused at how much of a Loghain lackey you were." Fergus called as he walked into the hall. Those at the Landsmeet thought they had seen their third ghost of the day.

Fergus proudly smiled at the crowd. "My sister has gathered an army of Dwarves, Elves, and Fereldans; my brother-in-law has united the Chasind under his banner. All to defeat this blight, and defeat it we shall!"

Ceorlic scoffed. "Chasind, united? That's impossible."

Fergus smiled. "Bann Ceorlic, I can tell you, first hand, that it is not only possible, but is reality. Gareth Mac Tir has united a force of Chasind soldiers, representatives of _every_ tribe. They are committed to ending the Blight and have sworn their swords to join the Warden Commander's army as she leads it to _victory_!"

The Landsmeet cheered.

The Seneschal looked at Gareth. "Your Grace, as Teyrn of Gwaren, and the highest ranking noble here. What will you have us do with the accused in the meantime?"

"Take all three into custody; place them in the palace dungeons, in separate cells. Thank you, Seneschal Arlan."

The Seneschal nodded his head and smiled. "You're welcome, Your Grace."

Siobhan stood. "As Commander of the Fereldan Grey Wardens, I would like to you to recognize one among you who has gone above and beyond the call, has given generously of his lands, soldiers, wisdom, and support: Teagan Guerrin, Bann of Rainesfere."

The applause was genuine. Many remembered that it was _Teagan_ who asked the hard questions of Anora and Loghain during that meeting after Ostagar. It was Teagan who had been instrumental in caring for the Arling during his brother's illness.

Siobhan bowed before the assembled. "Please, choose your regent so that we may move forward and defeat the Blight."

Siobhan sat down, Teagan shot her a look, but Siobhan pretended to look elsewhere.

Siobhan leaned over to Garth. "Why did you champion me? I didn't need it."

"_Cariad_, I _failed_ to protect you at Highever and at Ostagar. I could not be with you for most of your journey through these blight-ridden lands. This time, I _would not_ fail."

For a bit over two candle marks, the Landsmeet was engaged in discussion; many names had been bandied about.

In the meantime, Siobhan walked to the back, to Marjolaine who had been looking on. Siobhan smiled. "Wasn't that worth the trip?"

Marjolaine smiled and nodded. "It was quite satisfying to see that conceited woman brought down." She looked toward Leliana. "After the Landsmeet, yes?"

Siobhan nodded her head and walked away. Sam and Zevran took their positions. As soon as Siobhan turned, they easily subdued Marjolaine and took her out of the chamber. Siobhan walked over to Leliana, and gave her a hug. "It's over my friend."

Finally, Arl Eamon stood before the assembled. "I praise everyone all for the discussion and quick decision. Bann Sighard would you please to us who has been chosen?"

"We have selected Bann Teagan Guerin to sit as _Regent in Trust_. It would have been unanimous, save for the stubbornness of Bann Ceorlic. However Ceorlic w_ill_ abide by the decision, lest he be stripped of his lands."

Teagan looked around in wonder, while the Landsmeet erupted in cheers. Eamon wore a huge smile. Standing before them, Teagan put up his hand for silence, his face solemn. "First, we must address the crimes of our prisoners. Seneschal, please see that they are brought to us."

Soon Anora, Howe, Loghain stood before the Landsmeet. Anora looked at Siobhan, her tear-stained face flushed with anger and fear. Howe struggled in his bonds, Loghain stood at ease, as a soldier would.

Teagan gestured to the three. "We have heard and seen proof of their crimes, any one of which is punishable by death. However, it is the law that each of the accused may have one person speak in their favor."

The Seneschal stood near Howe. "Arl Rendon Howe, you are guilty of the massacre and usurping of House Cousland, conspiring to commit Regicide, the torture of Fereldan subjects, and conspiring with Anora Mac Tir Theirin to destabilize the throne. Your sentence is death."

Teagan looked to the assembled. "Is there anyone who will speak in favor of Arl Howe? Howe looked to Bann Esmerelle, who averted his gaze.

Teagan nodded. "Since there is no one willing to speak for Arl Howe, the sentence stands."

The Seneschal moved to Anora. "Queen, Anora Mac Tir Theirin, you are guilty of conspiring to commit Regicide, conspiring with Rendon Howe to destabilize the throne, and treason in your dealings with an Orlesian bard for the purpose of blackmail. Your sentence is death.

Teagan looked about. "Is there anyone who will speak for the Queen?"

Loghain raised his hand. "May I speak?"

Teagan nodded.

"It was _my_ decision to order the retreat of my troops. I was the one _responsible_ for denying the Blight. I created a Civil War, and then_ I_ sold elves into slavery to fund it. I …_failed_ to teach my daughter about the nature of duty and to warn her against the trappings of power. I take full responsibility for her crimes."

Teagan looked about the room. "Would any one else care to speak?"

The Grand Cleric stood. "Loghain, it was not her _upbringing_ that drove the Queen's actions. Just look at the fine example we have in your son. The Queen's actions were driven by a lust for power; _her actions are her own_."

Teagan nodded to the Grand Cleric. "Is there any further discussion?"

Anora turned her blue eyes to Gareth. "Brother?"

Gareth's looked her straight in the eye…and said nothing.

"The sentence stands." Anora fainted.

The Seneschal moved to Loghain. "Chancellor Loghain Mac Tir, you are charged with Regicide, selling elves into slavery, falsely accusing a sitting Teyrn of treason, interfering with a templars' sworn duty, and attempting to assassinate Eamon Guerin, Arl of Redcliffe. Your sentence is death. Is there anyone here who will speak for Chancellor Mac Tir?"

Siobhan stood up as those in the Landsmeet took a collective gasp. "While I know his crimes are grave, and he has admitted that his actions were his own. I would like to remind everyone that our very way of life, our ability to come _together_ in such an assembly, would never have been possible without the actions of _this man_. He is and will remain, the Hero of River Dane." Siobhan paused to let what she said sink in.

"I would like to conscript him into the Grey Wardens. The caliber of his martial and tactical skills is without question. Let him face and fight against the very Blight he refused to recognize, let him face the Archdemon, and _understand_ the warnings that should never have been ignored. Let him fight for and live among the Order whose purpose and loyalty he besmirched. I only _ask_ this of the Landsmeet. If you choose decline, I will not press forward with the Conscription."

There was much murmuring among the assembly. Then they quieted down. Teagan spoke, "Given the rather unique request by the Commander. I suggest we put this to a vote. Those in favor of the Commanders idea say 'Aye.'"

The assembled yelled, "Aye!"

Those against, say 'Nay?'

Silence.

"I release Loghain Mac Tir into the custody of Commander of the Ferelden Grey, and her fellow wardens. The sentence shall be carried out forthwith. For the other two, their sentences will be carried out at dusk. Warden, the royal army is at your command. May the Maker be at our side as we fight the demons ahead. I hereby bring this Landsmeet to a close."

The entirety of those assembled stood and applauded.

* * *

Siobhan and Gareth were catching a moment alone, holding each other.

"Thank you seems such an inadequate word to express how grateful I am for all that you did to bring this about, _cariad_."

"The credit really goes to all of my group. I _did_ think I had everything covered. Then you, my amazing husband, came and championed me."

"There was no way I would let you fight my father. If he had not yielded, I would have dueled him"

Siobhan smiled. "Now, all we have to do is find the horde and kill that pesky Archdemon."

Aya and Fergus came up to them, practically out of breath. Fergus looked at Gareth and Siobhan, fear clear on his face.

"Brother, what is it?" Siobhan tried to keep the alarm out of her voice.

Fergus looked to Aya. Aya nodded and turned to Siobhan. "My father had a recent…_journey_. He knows more of Flemeth's plan, and said that Morrigan _must not_ perform the ritual."

Siobhan was shocked. "But Flemeth is dead; Alistair killed her."

Aya shook her head. "Only that piece of her is dead. She still lives, but that is not the only reason why Morrigan must not perform the ritual. Please, we must get back and speak with my father."


	61. The Joining

**Chapter 60. The Joining**

**AN: **_Thank you to all who have alerts/faved/followed and review. Special thanks the Shakespira and xseikax for thier encouraging reviews, and to Nithu, my beta, who has been my rock during this story._

* * *

_Siobhan was shocked. "But Flemeth is dead; Alistair killed her."_

_Aya shook her head. "Only that piece of her is dead. She still lives, but that is not the only reason why Morrigan must not perform the ritual. Please, we must get back and speak with my father."_

_"We will, but first I have to tend to Loghain's joining. We'll be at estate afterward."_

* * *

In an upper-floor study, Siobhan, Alistair, Riordan, and Kyle stood before Loghain.

Siobhan watched her father-in-law; at Siobhan's suggestion he had removed his armor, and was just wearing his britches and arming coat. To Siobhan, thinking back on Ostagar, he looked much older than merely a year; the circles under his eyes were darker, the lines in his face were deeper, his shoulders a bit hunched. _He looks defeated, like he's given up. Maker, let him live through the Joining. For his sake, let him find redemption along his path as a warden._

Siobhan cleared her throat gently. "Loghain, is there anything you'd like to say, before we proceed?"

Loghain shook his head. "No. I think we've said all that's needed."

Riordan, Joining Chalice in hand, stood before Loghain. "Since the first, these words have been spoken at the ceremony: Join us, brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be forsworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten. And that one-day we shall join you.

Loghain Mac Tir, surrender yourself to the taint for the greater good. From this moment forth you are a Grey Warden."

Loghain, without comment, drank from the chalice. After a moment, he fell to his knees, clutching his throat; his eyes were white, then he passed out. Riordan, checked for pulse. "He lives. We should get him on a bed so he can rest."

Siobhan's sense of relief was palpable. She thought for a minute. "There's an empty bedroom, two rooms down. I'll let Gareth know. Between the three of you, you should be able to carry him."

Alistair chuckled. "I'm just glad he's not in his armor."

~oOOo~

Siobhan found Gareth sitting in the library; he was looking at his hands. Siobhan had seen that look before and she knew Gareth had turned his thoughts inward, was unaware that she was even in the room.

Not wanting to startle him she spoke softly. "Gareth?"

No response.

Siobhan put her hand on his shoulder. He still didn't respond, so she spoke in a normal tone. "Gareth?"

Gareth started, then looked up. "What is the news?"

"You father lives; would you like me to take you to him? "

Gareth merely nodded.

When Siobhan and Gareth arrived, Riordan and Alistair were still in the bedroom, with Loghain. Gareth looked at his father. "You're _sure_ he's alive?"

Siobhan took his hand. "Yes, he is."

Gareth still watched his father. "It always amazes me that he doesn't look any less imposing without his armor."

Siobhan smiled. "Rather like his son."

"I would like to be with him when he wakes up."

"Of course, love, but I also want Riordan to stay and make sure all is well when he awakens. Riordan, you can answer Loghain's questions better than I."

Riordan nodded.

Siobhan turned to Alistair. "Once Loghain is up and around, we need to collect everyone and go to the estate so we can meet with Udell."

~oOOo~

She found everyone in the room behind the throne room. Teagan entered shortly after and everyone knelt before the Regent.

Teagan gave them an embarrassed smile. "Arise. Please, there is _no_ _need_ to do that."

Siobhan looked at Teagan, her voice gentle but without humor. "Regent Guerrin, while you _personally_ can be as informal as you like, as _Regent_ you simply can't. You're now ruling Ferelden, the throne commands an extra measure of respect and formality."

Teagan nodded. "You're right. People have to have confidence in their Regent-in-Trust." Teagan stood taller and smiled. "Siobhan, the armies are gathering at Redcliffe, the Royal army is ready to leave for Redcliffe, tomorrow."

"Regent, I'm not _completely_ sure that we should go to Redcliffe. We've been all around that area, and with the exception of the attack on our way to Orzammar, we never had a large darkspawn encounter in western Ferelden. The only major attacks were between Lothering and Denerim, through the Bannorn. Tonight I want to study a map of Ferelden so I can mark when and where we had all of our major darkspawn encounters. I'm hoping that will give us a truer sense of the direction the horde is headed. I need to send word to the troops at Redcliffe to be ready to leave on a moment's notice."

"I will take the message, Siobhan." Morrigan offered. " Surely 'twould be the fastest way?"

"Thank you, Morrigan."

Riordan had walked in a few moments earlier. "Warden Loghain is awake and will need to eat. I can find out the direction of the horde and determine if the Archdemon has shown himself."

"All right, Riordan go now, report back to me at the Arl's estate, _tomorrow_."

"Riordan nodded as he left. "Yes, Commander."

Alistair chuckled.

"What?"

"He _actually_ called you Commander."

Siobhan snickered. "Will wonders ever cease? I'll see how Loghain is feeling and if he's ready to go to the estate. If so, we will leave within two candle marks."

* * *

Riordan asked Gareth to step out side when Loghain awoke, so he could speak to him about "warden matters." While Gareth was in the hall, he couldn't help chuckling; _That self-important, prig will never realize that I know a lot about the "warden matters" he and Da will discuss._"

Riordan left and Gareth went back in. Loghain was sitting up, and watching Gareth.

Neither man spoke as Gareth pulled a chair close to the bed. They looked at each other for several long moments.

Finally, Loghain broke the silence.

"You've managed to unite the _Chasind_?" Loghain shook his head. "Your grandfather was like that, a natural leader. He would be proud, as am I."

"I wonder what Grandfather would have thought about _your_ actions?"

Loghain looked surprised, and then hung his head. "I deserved that."

"You deserve worse." Gareth sat back; his eyes were like ice. "Ignoring Ostagar, Cailan, and the year that followed, when I first found out that _my wife_ had barely escaped the massacre of her family, that was at yours and Howe's hands_, _that _you _accused her of treason, and stripped her of her rightful, title, essentially called her a whore, and _then_ had the temerity to have her _arrested_ for assault on the Crown, I wanted to _gut_ you and make you _suffer_ for what you did to her."

Loghain looked his son in the eyes. "And now?"

Gareth sighed as he stroked his chin. "I have to admit, Da. I'm at a loss. That I'm able to speak to you, at all, is because of Siobhan's words and guidance. _She's_ been your champion, so to speak."

"What? _Why?"_

"She saw you in a much different light than I did, and she convinced me that her view was the better one. She told me about seeing you in the tent and looking into your eyes. She knew you had died inside, because that's the way she felt. She knew, during this whole horrendous year that there _had_ to be more going on. You don't simply grasp for power. That's was my sister's way of life, not yours."

Gareth couldn't sit any longer so he stood and began to pace.

"Siobhan figured out that Howe was manipulating you, but what really sent her over the edge was when she found out about _Anora's_ complicity. She knew then, that your loyalty to Ferelden and your fears about its safety were being twisted and manipulated by the two of them. She said to _me_ that in you she saw a man who had 'fought for so long, that he is unable to trust peace.' She knows your actions were traitorous and I won't repeat what she said about Anora, but she said to me that she couldn't look at yours and Anora's actions the same way. She said, 'Justice _needs_ to be blind. I don't.'"

Loghain stood up to face his son. He put his hands on Gareth's shoulders to stop him from pacing and held him at arms length. Gareth didn't resist and simply stared at his father.

"Gareth, the punishment handed out by Siobhan pulled me up short. I never expected mercy from anyone, _especially_ from her. Her mercy reminded me so much of one of the many things I loved about your mother, and you. You all listen to your heart, and are capable of showing emotion without feeling diminished. Anora never learned that, as I never did. Now I feel that your examples are something that I want to _try_ and live up to, although I doubt I'll get there before I meet the Maker."

Gareth was surprised by his father's words, and couldn't suppress the small grin. "Well, it's good to have goals."

"Indeed it is, my son. Indeed it is. I am proud of you for being Siobhan's champion, although I could tell that it was not part of the plan."

"You're lucky you yielded. I wouldn't have gutted you, but I would have kicked your arse all over the room."

"Maker bless you, you sounded exactly like my Da. I'm sure you would have. I yielded because I was not man enough to be worthy of your blade. Maybe one day I will, and I'll let you try to kick my arse."

"Oh, I'll do more than try, old man."

Gareth pulled his father in for a hug and for the first time in Gareth's memory, his father really hugged back.

* * *

They all returned to the Arl's estate. Udell, Aya, and Seika were waiting for them. The relief on Aya and Seika's faces was clear. Fergus gathered Aya into his arms. Seika went to Alistair; they looked into each other's eyes. Then Alistair pulled her into his arms.

Udell looked at the two young couples with a twinkle in his eyes. Then he turned to the rest of the group; he was surprised to see the Mac Tir standing before him, and it didn't take long for Udell to realize that he had become a warden.

Loghain looked at Udell, then looked at Gareth and back to Udell.

Udell cleared his throat, sensing the questions behind Loghain's eyes. "It is good to see you again, Mac Tir. We will talk later."

Loghain nodded his head with wry look. "You are the last person I expected to see, Udell. It would seem we do have much to discuss."

Udell turned to the rest of the group, with a sense of urgency. "We are all going to the dining hall, now. I have already asked Kasch and Macht to guard the doors so we are undisturbed _and_ unheard."

Siobhan's whole group settled into the room, including Gareth and Fergus. Udell could feel the tension radiate off of everyone. All eyes were turned to him."

"We were wrong about Flemeth's plan, and about Flemeth, herself."

Morrigan, eyes wide. "What!"

Udell held up his hand. "I have been making periodic sprit journeys in order to get a sense of Flemeth's real plans. Something had been bothering me since Gareth and Fergus arrived in our village. Now, I think I know enough, to know that Urthemiel's soul _must_ be destroyed."

Siobhan looked at Loghain. "By way of explanation, if anyone other than a Grey Warden kills the Archdemon, its soul would just travel to the nearest darkspawn. As darkspawn are soulless, the Archdemon never really dies. If a Grey Warden slays the Archdemon the soul will travel to the warden-"

Loghain finished the train of thought. "As we are not soulless, I take it that the Warden who kills the Archdemon, dies."

Udell nodded. "There are two rituals that could prevent that; it _had_ been decided to use both. Once involves trapping and killing the soul as it briefly passes through the essence realm, the other involves a ritual that leads to the conception of a child. If this ritual is done on the eve of battle, the child could…safely absorb the soul, and would be born with the soul of an, untainted, Old God. In this case,Urthemiel, God of Beauty."

Loghain looked at Siobhan and Alistair. "I…I had no idea. Why didn't Duncan _explain_ this?"

Siobhan arched an eyebrow. "Would you have _believed_ him, if he had?"

Loghain sighed. "No. I suppose not."

Morrigan still looked surprised. "Udell, _what_ did you find out about Mother?"

"First, Flemeth is not dead. It appears that she can exist in many places at once. Somehow, she left only a piece of herself in Ferelden and sent another piece well away, before Alistair arrived to kill her."

Alistair looked incredulous. "That was no _piece_ of Flemeth we fought."

"No, it _was_ Flemeth. Perhaps, 'piece' is not the best word for it. Flemeth can manipulate her _essence_ in such a way that she can be in more than one place at the same time. Morrigan, it was _never_ your mother's intention to possess _you_. She planned on merging a part of her essence with that of the child's. Essentially merging with Urthemiel."

The room was silent, Udell watched as the implications sank in. "Morrigan, _that_ is why you cannot perform the ritual; Urthemiel, _must_ die."

Siobhan looked up to the ceiling and closed her eyes for a moment. Then she looked at Udell. "What, exactly, _is_ Flemeth?"

Udell rubbed his forehead. "I'm not entirely sure. I have a theory. Let me first say, she is _not_ possessed by a demon; I've known that for some time and Morrigan would have known that too. _I_ did not know, until recently, about her ability to manipulate her essence. That _cannot_ be achieved by magic."

Aya interrupted, fear on her face. "The only ones that can do that are, demons, which she is not, spirits who are benevolent, or…_gods_. "

There was a collective intake of breath as Udell nodded his head. "She is not as powerful as you would expect a god to be. I believe she was born of a human and a god."

"So, she seeks to merge with an Old God?" Siobhan said, shaking her head.

Morrigan was silent and expressionless. Udell leaned over to her; Morrigan, are you all right?"

Morrigan started at the sound of Udell's voice. "I…sorry…I am just thinking about how this would explain some of the mysteries that are my Mother."

Udell smiled in sympathy. "I _believe_ that Flemeth is the daughter of a Tevinter Magister and Andoral, the God of Slaves.

Alistair ran his hand through his hair. "That was the Archdemon slayed over _400_ years ago by the warden, Garahel. " Then he sat back. "Well if there was one Old God that a Magister might want, it would be the God of Slaves."

Leliana scoffed. "How is this even _possible_? The Maker imprisoned the Old Gods underground."

Udell nodded. "So your Chantry teaches. Does it not also teach that it was from the Fade, that they taught Magisters how to enter the Golden City?"

Leliana nodded. "But how could a human _mate_ with an Old God?"

"I have learned that among the Tevinters, and some of the Elvhen, there are those called Somniari, dreamers. The Somniari can manipulate the fade; what is _less_ known is that they can also manipulate their own essence. I _believe_ that Flemeth was 'born' when the Somniari Magister and Andoral merged part of their essences."

"Are you saying I was birthed by a Dragon?"

"No Morrigan, Flemeth did give birth to you. She is real in both forms."

Wynne's normally calm voice carried a tremor of fear. "I have heard of these…dreamers. Irving was trying to find out more about them, though he did not share his reasons with me."

"Wynne," Siobhan began. "Perhaps that's why Irving had Flemeth's grimoire?"

"While I know not what Mother would gain from a child with the soul of an Old God, I do know that t'would not be something good."

Siobhan stood up and began to pace, then looked at Udell. "So basically Flemeth could be part Old God, part Magister, and she seeks the untainted soul of Urthemiel?"

"Yes. A succinct summary, Siobhan."

Siobhan nodded in thanks. "The thing that bothers me the most, is that Flemeth didn't just hatch this plan when the Blight began."

Loghain, who had only been listening, spoke up. "Maric and I met with this Flemeth in the Wilds during the early stage of the rebellion. I believe she may have told Maric that the blight would happen in Ferelden. Regretfully, she foretold several other things that came to pass. Udell, could she posses the ability to see into the future?"

"No I don't believe she can actually see into the future. If she knew there was going to be a Blight in Ferelden, than she almost certainly had _some_ hand in creating it. But that remains a mystery."

Siobhan eyes took in the whole group. "That means we can only rely on Udell's ritual, if that does not work, the Warden who slays the Archdemon will make the ultimate sacrifice. Unless anyone else has questions for Udell or me, I suggest we adjourn, dinner will be after sunset."

* * *

It was just before sunset. Gareth had taken his father outside, where they stood in the courtyard, by the well. They both knew Anora's execution would be soon. The setting sun painted the sky, in a brilliant red-gold. Gareth sighed. "This was always Anora's favorite time of the day."

"Indeed. When you were both younger, your mother never served dinner until after sunset because Anora always refused to come inside until then."

They watched in silence as the sun slipped down the horizon. Loghain hung his head in sorrow.

Tears came to Gareth's eyes. "When we were kids, she was always patient with me. I remember the time I stuck the end of her braid into an inkwell. She was napping, and didn't notice that I was using the end of her braid as a paintbrush. I don't remember _what_ I was painting."

"As I recall, you were painting the arm of the couch Anora was napping on." Loghain chuckled at the memory."

"When she woke up, she was more concerned about the couch, than she was about her hair. She could have told mother, but she didn't. All it took to admonish me was Anora's disappointed look." Gareth paused to wipe his eyes. "I hated disappointing my sister."

"You were _such_ a scamp; why Anora never just throttled you was beyond your me and mother."

"I know. When we were kids, she was always kind and patient with me _and_ my friends." Gareth spoke while fighting back tears. I don't know…where _that_ Anora went."

Loghain's voice was almost a whisper. "Neither do I. I only know that failed you and Anora in so many ways."

Gareth put his hand on his father's shoulder. "Da, you were doing your duty. Mother understood that, and she made sure Anora and I understood that as well. You didn't fail me, and you didn't fail Anora."

Tears streamed down Loghain's face. "If I have not failed her, then _why_ is shebeing_ executed_?"

"Da, children aren't clay that you can shape. Anora wanted to rule and protect Ferelden, but she was_ willing_ to sell her soul, and nearly destroy you and I, to do it. You and mother fostered in her a sense duty. It was _Anora_ who decided what she wanted do with it. That is not _your_ fault, Da

Loghain wiped his eyes. "How can you defend your sister, after what she's done?"

"I'm _not_ defending the Anora of today; I'm defending the memory of the Anora who _used_ to be. Da, remember Anora as that six years old, with pigtails and skinned knees. Mourn _that_ Anora."

Loghain pulled his son into a tight hug, as if Gareth was his lifeline. Gareth returned the hug as both men mourned Anora's death.

* * *

Siobhan remained indoors; she didn't want to intrude on a difficult moment for both men. She thought it was better for each to help the other, and Siobhan was not mourning the woman who almost took down her family and her country. In the mean time, she was in the library working on a map of Ferelden. About a candle mark later, Alistair came in the room.

"Siobhan?"

With out looking up. "Yes?"

Alistair was surprised at her less than affable greeting. "Are you mad at something?"

Siobhan lifted her head. "If I had undergone the Joining when I was _supposed_ to, we would have _one more_ warden. I should have _ordered_ you to administer the Joining to me."

Alistair crossed his arms. "Your order would have been _disobeyed_."

Siobhan stood up and faced Alistair; she looked as angry as Alistair had ever seen her. "S_pare me_ the 'only I could lead the armies ' tripe! I could have died any one of a dozen or more times on this journey. Yet, you didn't hide me from battle. In the Maker's name, _why_, have you withheld the Joining?"

"Because you are more valuable to Ferelden, alive and _un_tainted."

"To the void with that, Alistair! I am no, more or less, valuable than _any_ of you."

"Andraste's sweet ass, Siobhan! You're not some milkmaid from a remote bannorn. You are a Cousland, one of Ferelden's most powerful families. You are _also_ the Teyrna of Gwaren. The idea that you are just like everyone else is idiotic. You need to survive Siobhan, _you and Gareth need to survive_!"

Alistair watched Siobhan as her eyes practically bored into him. _She knows I'm hiding something._

He waited for Siobhan to call him on it, but she didn't. Instead she shook her head, and sighed. Sitting down she looked up at Alistair, her voice sounded as tired as she looked. "Alistair, once Gareth and Loghain return, please bring them and Kyle here. We need to go over this map."

~oOOo~

The four of them were bending over the table looking at the map. Siobhan had marked it to indicate where they fought darkspawn, how big was the attack and when they had the encounter.

Siobhan stretched. "As I read this I determined that, with the exception of the attack on our way to Orzammar, all of the a large darkspawn encounters occurred between Lothering and Denerim. Looking at when we had those encounters leads me to believe that the horde is heading to Denerim. The Archdemon is supposed to be intelligent; Denerim is a far better target to cripple Ferelden. What do you all think?"

All three men were nodding their heads; Loghain spoke first. "I think your logic is solid. If the Archdemon is intelligent, coming up from the south and moving west, allows them to destroy most of Ferelden. From there, they can easily move west, taking out the last parts of Ferelden and head, unchallenged to Orlais, from there Tevinter, Nevarra, the Free Marches and Antiva"

Siobhan smiled. "That was my thinking too; it's nice to have it corroborated. If we don't hear back from Riordan within the next day, I am going to order the armies at Redcliffe to leave for Denerim at once. As far as what we have here, we have the Rainesfere and Chasind armies, in addition to the Royal army, which is readying itself, as we speak. "

Alistair asked. "Are there things we can do in Denerim to prepare?"

Kyle looked pensive for a moment. "We need a couple of places to where the vulnerable populations can retreat. The Chantry is one, perhaps we can also use the Pearl and the Arl of Denerim's estate?"

Alistair arched an eyebrow. "Why the Pearl, of all places?"

Siobhan smiled. "It's large, has bedrooms, and a kitchen. It is can serve the south east part of Denerim, and is close to eastern shore. The Chantry is far enough north of the rest of Denerim and can serve the less populated northern Denerim, the Arl's estate is large and sturdy and can serve the southwest corner Denerim. Loghain, is there a plan in existence on how to evacuate Denerim?"

"Nothing formal, no."

Alistair said, "We have enough soldiers here, I suggest we send out the Royal army to let people know where to go and why. That might mean less panic."

Siobhan nodded and smiled. "That's also a good idea. Fortunately, tomorrow is a rest day so people will be closer to their homes. In the morning, I want Kyle and Alistair to go to the Chantry and the Pearl and let them know what we think is happening and to prepare for evacuees. Loghain and I will brief the Royal army, who will fan out and execute an orderly evacuation. I will have Gareth and his men prepare the arl's estate. Any thing else?"

Everyone shook their heads.

"With the exception of Loghain, you are dismissed."

Loghain stood still. "Yes, Commander?"

Siobhan smiled. "No, right now, I'm your daughter-in-law. Would you like to meet your grandson?"

Loghain looked both sad and pleased; his voice was halting and hoarse. "I…I would like that…very much."

"Then go to the library; I'll meet you there."

~oOOo~

Siobhan could here the giggles from outside of their bedroom, Bryce was awake and being tickled by his father.

"Gareth, love, I hate to interrupt."

Gareth picked up Bryce. "You're never an interruption, _cariad_."

"I have a lot of plans to talk over with you, but in the meantime, I thought it might be nice for Bryce to meet his grandfather."

Gareth's face darkened for moment, then it passed. "Your right. He should."

~oOOo~

Loghain stood up as Siobhan and Gareth entered the library. He saw Siobhan carrying the baby, as she walked up to him. "May I present your grandson, Bryce Gareth Mac Tir. Would you like to hold him?"

There were tears in Loghain's eyes, and he nodded. Siobhan placed Bryce in Loghain's arms, and with practiced hands he cradled his grandson. As he silently stroked Bryce's hair, Loghain's face suddenly glowed with a look of pure joy and wonder. "You look so much like your Da and your great-Grand Da. They are both good men, the best men I've ever known." Bryce looked up at Loghain, who tickled his stomach, making Bryce giggle and laugh, then he reached for one of Loghain's braids and pulled it to his mouth. Loghain sat down and pulled it free. "I don't think that would be very good to eat, my wee lad…" He held Bryce to him; Siobhan and Gareth saw Loghain's shoulder jerk while he cried.

* * *

It was late at night. Sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace in his room, Alistair told Seika all about the Landsmeet; what had happened, and how.

Seika smiled and laughed. "Alistair, it sounds like you did a great job setting-up this Rendon Howe. I can only imagine what he thought when he realized you weren't taking the throne."

Alistair scratched the back of his neck, looking a bit sheepish. "I think I enjoyed the look on his face more than I should have."

"Nonsense! Everything I have heard about the man is so awful, it's hard to believe, and what about Anora? Poor Gareth, dealing with her execution, _on top of_ dealing with his father."

"I honestly can't believe I'm saying this, and if you tell _anyone_ I'll deny it, but I almost feel sorry for Loghain. What Howe and Anora did to him was heartless, calculating, and evil. I think Siobhan was right to recruit him, as much as I _hate_ to admit it, but there is justice in being made a part of an order that he hated and never trusted." Alistair wore a sly grin. "I think it would be even more fitting if he was stationed in Orlais."

"Siobhan is a very wise woman, Alistair."

Alistair put his hand to his chest as if he were shocked, but smiled. "What about _me_! I'm wise too, you know, and about more things than just cheese."

Seika just laughed. To Alistair, her voice was like the clear sound of bell. Every time he heard it, the music would wash over him like a warm breeze. More than that, he loved her perceptiveness, her innate kindness, and that she and Alistair had similar views on many things. _She has brought me light and warmth and joy, and I…I…love her._

He took Seika's hand in his. "Seika, I… don't know if this is to fast, but…I love you."

Alistair feared that he _was_ moving too fast, until he saw the look on Seika's face. She literally beamed and threw her arms around him, leaning her head against his chest. "Alistair, I love you, too."

She looked up at him with a bit of shyness in her eyes, but not in her voice or her words. "Alistair, could we spend the night together, in your room?"

"You mean…?"

Seika nodded. "Unless…you don't want to."

"No, I do. I _really_ do, but I have to tell you, I've never done...that before."

Seika smiled. "Then we shall learn together."

Alistair stood up, and gave her a smile that was all love and desire. Clasping her hand, he pulled her into an embrace. His lips met hers in kiss that was as gentle as it was passionate. Standing in front of the fireplace feeling the warmth from the fire and the warmth from within, they began their discovery of each other's passion. Alistair carried Seika to the bed. Their touches were hesitant at first, then became more confident. What started out as gentle grew to an intensity that washed over them. Their need for one another joined them in a consuming wave of pleasure and joy .

Lying in each other's arms after, Alistair could feel Seika smile.

* * *

Riordan arrived the next morning, and corroborated Siobhan's conclusion. The Horde was headed to Denerim, and would arrive in about three days.

"One thing." Riordan began. "The Archdemon is leading the Horde."


	62. The End of All Things Part 1

_**AN at the end**_**  
**

**Chapter 61. The End of All Things **

**Part one  
**

Riordan arrived the next morning, and corroborated Siobhan's conclusion. The Horde _was_ headed to Denerim, and would arrive in about three days.

"One thing," Riordan began. "The Archdemon is leading the Horde."

Siobhan nodded. "One advantage of having an apostate shape shifter: I've just sent word for the armies at Redcliffe to march. They're ready to go, but even at a forced march, they probably won't get here ahead of the horde." Siobhan then filled Riordan in on the evacuation plans for Denerim.

"Siobhan, you will need to speak to all the army commanders."

"That _was_ my plan."

"Good, you will lead the armies and I will lead the wardens against Archdemon."

Siobhan blinked in angry disbelief. "You will lead _my_ wardens against the Archdemon?"

Riordan's voice was smoothly dismissive. "I am as the senior grey warden"

Siobhan's anger erupted. "I don't care if you're the second coming of the Maker and can you shoot lighting out your arse! I _will not_ relinquish command to you! You think you can waltz in here and take over because you carry the taint and I don't? You _arrogant_ bastard! _Killing_ the Archdemon _requires_ the taint; successfully commanding the wardens to _reach_ and _fight_ the Archdemon, does not! While you are _in_ Ferelden, you are under _my_ command, and you will do as _I_ say, or I will kick you insubordinate arse, so hard, I'll send you to your Calling! Do I make myself _clear_?"

Riordan felt Siobhan's voice cut him like sharp knives. She was taller than him, and tilted her head down slightly to look him straight in the eyes. She said nothing, but he could feel the force of her will bearing down on him.

Siobhan still stared at him. "Think _carefully_, Riordan."

Riordan realized that this woman had just cut him down, and instead of feeling angry, he was feeling a grudging respect for her. _Without her, we would not be where we are now. _He hung his head. "I apologize, lass; I will not contest your leadership, again."

"Thank you. One last thing, you _will_ address me as Commander, not 'lass.' "

"Yes, Commander."

Siobhan nodded and without another word, she turned and walked away.

~oOOo~

Evacuations were going fairly well. Each evacuation center had a Chantry sister or mother, and would be protected by Templars and the City Guard. Siobhan requested that Sergeant Kylon and his best guards assist the elves in defending the Alienage.

Siobhan anticipated Kylon's concern. "If you encounter any resistance, tell Shianni or Valendrian, that this was at _my_ urging."

Kylon bowed his head. "Of course, Warden Commander."

Sanga, as it turned out, was a miracle worker. She tasked her workers with ensuring that all the beds had fresh linen and creating more temporary bed space; her cooks were hard at work making large quantities of soup and bread. Sanga also sent two of her four cooks to the former Arl's estate, as well as several of her workers, who also carried additional bedding. Gareth along with Oghren, Shale and Morrigan were already there. They sealed all the entrances to the dungeons and went through the living space, cleaning out all of Howe's…_personal_ items.

Oghren looked around and spat. "To bad that sodding bastard could only die once."

~oOOo~

The next day was a hive of activity, as more and more people arrived at the evacuation centers. Teagan opened the Palace as well, taking in people when the three centers filled. There had been several small skirmishes with darkspawn that were easily put down. Teagan also announced that Siobhan would command all the armies and Gareth and Fergus would serve as field commanders.

Later that evening, Siobhan felt that it was time to discuss and set up for the ritual. A suite in the lower level of the Palace was chosen; Udell brought the supplies, and Aya brought bedding. The main room was for the ritual and they had an adjacent bedroom.

In the study, where they were assured of privacy, Udell and Bryti, sitting with Aya and Seika, explained the ritual. "In addition to me; Aya, Seika and Bryti will take part."

Alistair interrupted Udell, worry clear in his voice. "But, Aya and Seika are _healers_, how can they help _destroy_ the Archdemon's soul?"

Udell held up his hand. "Alistair, I understand your worry. All will become clear, just let me continue." He turned to the group. "We will enter the essence realm as we always do; Devdan is hale and healthy and will assume his duty with the drum. Bryti is our _Schiff der Ahnen, _the closest translation would be 'Ship of the Ancients.' He has the ability to channel our Ancestors' strength. Though him, they will guide us to the Archdemon, and will then serve a conduit for their power to help us safely destroy its soul.

Once the Archdemon arrives at Denerim, I will 'attune' myself to its essence. Once I have done that, I'll be able to feel when the Archdemon's death is imminent, and the instant it occurs. Once I'm focused on Archdemon, Seika and Aya will create a 'net' of strong healing magic. It will draw in the Archdemon's corrupted essence for a brief period of time, as its unbound soul passes into the realm on its way to another tainted being. Once its essence is in the 'net,' Bryti will channel the power of the Ancestors and destroy it"

"One question, Udell?" Siobhan asked.

"Only one?" Udell's eyes twinkled.

"Is Flemeth _at all_, aware of what you are going to do?"

"As of my last spirit journey, I don't _believe_ so, but there is no real way of being sure. Morrigan has been very good at remaining focused on performing her ritual, even though _we_ know she won't. That _will_ change, either when the night passes without conception, or while the Archdemon is being fought. Fortunately, she doesn't know this _particular_ ritual; she will only know that Morrigan didn't conceive a child. I sense she has some other kind of plan, but unless she becomes aware of the ritual, we should still be successful."

Alistair looked a bit pale. "What _if_ Flemeth finds out about the ritual?"

Udell frowned. "We will have a conduit to the power of our ancestors. If Flemeth tries to somehow destroy our ritual, Bryti will sacrifice his essence to protect the ancestors from Flemeth, and I will sacrifice my essence to kill the Archdemon's soul."

Gareth frowned. "How will your essence kill the Archdemon?"

"To kill its essence, I will need to join mine with it, destroying us both, much like what happens when the Archdemon's soul and the soul of a grey warden meet."

Wynne asked. "What happens if your essence dies? If a mage dies in the fade, they become tranquil, non-mages simply wake up."

Udell slowly shook his head. "No, the death of one's essence means death of the body as well. The Chasind use essence and soul interchangeably."

Fergus, who was holding Aya's hand, squeezed it. Alistair put his arm around Seika as she leaned against his chest. Udell wished he could alleviate their fears, or use different healers, but Aya was the best and Seika was almost her equal. Together, they represented their best chance for luring and capturing the Archdemon's soul.

~oOOo~

It was the third day. Siobhan and Zevran were taking their turn as lookout at the top the Palace. An eerie blackish red haze began to extend out from the horizon. Siobhan was about to mention it, when suddenly she saw flash. She could have sworn it was the sun glancing off armor. She pointed it out to Zevran. Squinting they began to see the front line of the Redcliffe troops, well ahead of the horde.

"Zevran, the Maker may indeed be on our side today."

"_Mi amora_, was there any doubt?"

When they reached the palace entrance, Siobhan was surprised to see Alistair standing there waiting for her.

"Alistair, the Redcliffe troops are here! We need to ride out to meet them."

Alistair smiled. "Well, then it's lucky there are three horses saddled and ready. Gareth has the troops ready to move out at your command."

Siobhan smiled. "Thank you, Alistair…. _Three_ horses?"

"The Regent is riding with us."

Siobhan rode up to Gareth. "We will go forward to meet the main army. Do you want to address the troops before we move out?"

Gareth smiled. "I already have."

"Then let's be off."

Siobhan found a rise from which Teagan could be seen and hopefully heard. When the larger army arrived, Teagan stood waiting. The Dalish leader Lanaya, and her First, Veassen, Dwarven Commander Titholm, and the Arl's commander, Ser Quentin, all walked up to Siobhan.

Lanaya spoke first. "Warden Commander, the Dalish are ready and are at your command'"

"As are the dwarves," rumbled_. _Titholm' deep voice.

"Redcliffe and Rainesfere stand ready for your command." Ser Quentin bowed.

Teagan stood on the rise and raised his hands for attention. He looked out over the massive army Siobhan had assembled. "As Ferelden's Regent, you have my gratitude and the gratitude of my country for helping us battle the Blight that is ravaging our lands. We also fight for those lost at Ostagar, and for Ferelden's king who died too soon. Leading us, is the woman whose indefatigable efforts have enabled us to make our stand, Warden Commander Siobhan Mac Tir!" Teagan motioned her up.

As Siobhan stood on the rise with Teagan, loud cheers erupted from the troops; Siobhan used her hands to bring down the noise so she could be heard.

"Brothers- and Sisters-in-arms, we stand united. While, the treaties may have brought us out of our lands, it is the _Blight_ that has brought us _together_. We now stand as _one, _to battle the Blight and we _will_ _stand_ as one to celebrate victory! For each of us draws strength from the other, forging us into a force that will ravage the darkspawn, as they have ravaged us. Victory _will_ be ours! Fight for each other, fight for our lands, fight for our very lives! Join me! Let us prepare to give our enemy a fitting welcome!"

Again cheers erupted. Siobhan mounted her horse, took out Starfang, and held it high, glowing bright in the setting sun, then she pointed it straight ahead. "For King Cailan, and the Grey Wardens!"

As Siobhan planned, Gareth led a large group of troops to northwest boarder of Denerim. Fergus led a similarly large group to the area, near the City gate, as well as the area around Fort Drakon. Archers went to the tops of the city walls.

Riordan spoke with urgency. "Commander, I must split off from you. As close as I am to my Calling, I have a better chance of drawing the Archdemon's attention away from you."

Siobhan nodded. "I understand. Maker be with you, Brother."

Riordan gave Siobhan a half smile as he turned to leave. "And with you, as well, Sister."

Siobhan stationed her group at the City Gate. Morrigan, in bird form, brought back reports from the other areas of the City. Once the Horde arrived she would be back in her own form.

Siobhan watched and listened. The haze overshadowed the light of the setting sun, and all was quiet. But it was an unnatural quiet, neither the sounds of animals nor the rustle of trees could be heard. To Siobhan, it was like the land itself was holding its breath.

~oOOo~

As Siobhan suspected, the bulk of the horde hit between the armies at the northwest side of the City and the armies at the city gate. Thus, flanking the darkspawn.

But Alistair could sense the presence of darkspawn generals, as they made their way into the city.

"They're in the Market District _I think_." Alistair frowned. "It's hard to tell, with so many darkspawn around."

No sooner had Alistair finished his sentence, than they saw the Archdemon fly high, overhead, fire raining down from its maw.

~oOOo~

Siobhan looked at her group. "Kyle, Loghain, Alistair, Wynne, and Sten, you're with me. Morrigan, Leliana, Shale, and Zevran you stay and help guard the gate. Oghren I want you at the gate too. You're in charge."

Oghren looked thoughtful then stood in front of Siobhan. "Then this is it, Warden. 'When from the blood of battle the Stone has fed, let the heroes prevail and the blighters lie dead.' As one of the blighters, I sodding salute you. Let us show them our hearts, and then show them _theirs_."

"As I salute you, Oghren."

Morrigan came up to her. "You have taught me the meaning of courage. I know not where my path now lies, but I hope 'twill cross yours again."

Siobhan smiled. "I will miss you, Morrigan."

"So, I am to be left here? _Mi amora_, you know I would have followed you into the void and back. Please, tell our templar to make sure nothing mars your beauty or I will be quite wroth with him."

"Zevran, you are a good friend. I assure you that Gareth has already issued the same warning to Alistair."

Leliana came up, the two women hugged like sisters. Leliana looked at Siobhan. "I expect you to come back; do not disappoint me."

"You are like a sister to me, Leli, never forget that."

Even Shale came up to Siobhan; though they had not spoken much, each respected the other.

"It faces impossible odds, yet I find myself believing that it will succeed. It is unusually brave for a flesh creature, but please do not allow itself to be eaten, as irony dictates the dragon will fly over me –"

Siobhan interrupted and smiled. "No worries Shale, I have no intention of becoming dragon shit."

~oOOo~

In the secluded room at the Palace, Bryti, Udell, Aya and Seika readied for their journey. Devdan was there with his drum. Udell lit the oil-soaked sage sticks and Devdan began; each one focused their minds and their heartbeats on the beating of the drum and the sent of the burning oil and sage washing over them.

~oOOo~

As Siobhan and her group entered the Market District, Alistair tried to keep his fears for Seika in the back of his mind. Fergus, who was Teagan's shield partner, prayed to the Maker that he and Aya would survive the night.

The clash of the armies was bloody, the cacophony deafening. Siobhan and her group moved through Denerim, killing ogres, emissaries, and all four of the darkspawn generals. Feeling the approach of the Archdemon, Alistair and Kyle looked up to see Riordan jump on the back of the beast. Siobhan looked up and watched Riordan's valiant, attempt to slay the Archdemon.

Alistair pointed. "Look he is on its wing."

They took a collective gasp as they saw Riordan slice his blade through the Dragon's wing and then fall to his death, while the Archdemon fell on the top of Fort Drakon.

Siobhan looked at her group. "It looks like the top of Fort Drakon is where we will make our final stand. As Oghren said, 'Let us show them our hearts, and then show them _theirs_.' To victory!"

Alistair yelled. "For the Gray Wardens!"

~oOOo~

Udell and his group had located the Archdemon. Udell focused on it; creating a connection, that took all of his concentration. Soon a blue net coalesced beside them. Aya and Seika's working together to imbue the net with all the healing energy they could. Bryti's essence flared as bright as sun as he channeled the power of the Ancestors.

A raspy voice then sounded. "Well, well, what have we here?"

~oOOo~

Nothing had prepared the wardens for the sight of the Archdemon. Spines protruded from every inch of the largest dragon they had ever seen. More than its appearance or deafening roar was its all-encompassing malevolence spreading a feeling of despair over the entire top of the Fort. Siobhan managed to signal to the mages and the Dalish archers to fire, subjecting the Archdemon a sudden, massive attack of arrows and magic.

While that was happening, Siobhan noticed the ballistae that were all around the roof and she fought through the Darkspawn to reach one. Siobhan with Alistair protecting her, managed to use the ballista to attack the Archdemon with large, powerful arrows.

When Siobhan looked over the battlefield she saw that the mages had been decimated. So she gave the signal for the Dwarves and _humans_ to begin their ground assault.

Siobhan called her party to her. The ground attack was going well. She and Alistair would remain paired. Siobhan had Kyle and Loghain to operate a nearby ballista. Sten served as protection for both Kyle and Loghain, and Siobhan and Alistair, as needed. Wynne moved to a place where she could focus on healing the group.

They could see the Archdemon beginning to weaken, when more darkspawn flooded the roof to engage the human and dwarven fighters. Siobhan signaled Titholm to keep his dwarven troops focused on the Archdemon, and Ser Quentin to focus his on the darkspawn. Siobhan led her group away from the ballistae to join the ground the dwarves.

~oOOo~

Around the perimeter of Denerim, the majority of the armies continued to flank the darkspawn. Gareth sent reinforcement's to areas where the darkspawn were trying to breach the city walls. Then, after watching the Archdemon fall, Gareth led a small squad to Fort Drakon. Fergus led the troops that were part of the flank near the City gate. Casualties were fairly heavy for the armies and the darkspawn.

~oOOo~

Flemeth essence coalesced before Udell. "Imagine my surprise to find that my Morrigan did not performed the ritual. So I wondered, 'why would she give up so much power?' Then I realized it must be _you_, Udell, who convinced Morrigan of the danger of having this child. It appears, you found out one of my best kept secrets." Flemeth laughed. "You _do_ surprise me sometimes. Udell! Would it surprise you to know that Morrigan's ritual was my back up plan? Oh Udell, such a brilliant man you are. You are bringing the essence of the Old God _here_, something I hadn't thought of, but will make my plan that much easier."

~oOOo~

Blood poured from the many injuries the Archdemon sustained. Alistair told Siobhan he could sense it weakening. Siobhan ordered Loghain, Kyle and Alistair to move with her to assault the Archdemon, with Sten and Wynne providing protection.

~oOOo~

Udell could sense the Archdemon's immanent death as Flemeth continued to taunt. "I can feel it too, Udell. Soon the soul will come to us and I will bind my essence to it, and there is very little you can do to stop me."

~oOOo~

Wynne, who had no mana left, collapsed. Siobhan saw that the Archdemon was barely able to stay standing and had left open the underside of its neck. As she charged, Siobhan yelled to Kyle, Loghain and Alistair. "Be to be ready to strike."

She pierced the underside of its neck and, as she slid the blood and gore, sliced open the entire of length of the Archdemon's neck. Alistair saw her try to roll out from under the Archdemon as it fell to the ground. Alistair was already on the move, his sword aimed at the Archdemon's skull.

~oOOo~

Bryti tried to keep Flemeth away from the Ancestors. Aya and Seika continued to focus their energy on the net. Udell knew that time was running out.

~oOOo~

When Alistair plunged his sword into the Archdemon's skull a powerful, explosion of light shot up to the sky, the Archdemon was barely alive, as Alistair give his sword a final twist.

~oOOo~

Udell sensed the Archdemon's death. Bryti was still engaging Flemeth. The Archdemon's essence began to appear in the net. Aya and Seika successfully closed the trap, but could not hold it for very long. Udell reached the net as Flemeth destroyed Bryti 's essence. Udell yelled, "_Vorfahren nimm mich, Ancestors take me_" as his essence went through the net.

~oOOo~

When the Archdemon died, an explosion of light and power knocked down everyone on the roof; everyone in Denerim could see the shock wave spread out from the tower. The darkspawn ran away and the battle-weary troops began to cheer. Fergus was silent, and could only watch and pray as the shock wave from Drakon's roof slowly dissipated.

* * *

AN: Thank you to my awesome beta, Nithu. As well as xseikax, Shakespira, Zukafew119 for your reviews and thoughts and support.

Thank you to Dr. Tolkien for the title of this chapter. BioWare owns all, I just play with their toys


	63. The End of All Things Part 2

**Chapter 62. The End of All Things**

**Part 2  
**

Loghain and Kyle slowly regained consciousness. Morrigan ran to Alistair. _He's breathing; Udell's ritual must have succeeded._ A healer arrived and checked on Alistair, who was banged up, but nothing serious. In the distance, she heard Gareth call for Siobhan, but there was no answer.

~oOOo~

Aya and Seika woke up. They turned to Udell and Bryti; both men were still. Seika knew they were dead. When Udell and the Archdemon's souls filled that net their essence lit up, brighter than any day, then exploded. Pushing Aya and herself back into their bodies. Seika didn't know what happened to Flemeth, although she doubted that she was dead.

Aya, immediately, bent over her father's body and began singing, trying desperately to revive him. She sung until she was hoarse, crying and shaking in shock. "Father? Father, wake up. Wake up!" Realizing that he was really dead, she cried out, "No! NO. It wasn't supposed to happen this way! Please..._please_ Ancestors bring him back! Bring him BACK!" She collapsed in tears on her father's cooling body.

Seika began to hum a soothing tune as she gently moved the hair from Aya's eyes. "Aya, you know there was no other way. With Bryti dead he _had_ to make the sacrifice."

Aya sobbed uncontrollably: Seika stayed next to her, holding her. After a while, Aya was hiccoughing, but managed to sniffle a bit and looked up at Seika. "How…could he have been _wrong_ about Flemeth?"

Tears filled Seika's eyes. "Because your father, like all of us, isn't perfect. We knew that he had concerns about Flemeth. He didn't voice them to everyone but you and I _felt_ them."

In the blink of an eye, Aya's faced became a mask of pure fury. "I have lost _both_ of my parents to that…that _DEMON SPAWN_!" Then Seika saw a chilling emptiness in Aya's eyes as she turned to Devdan.

"Start the drum. I will light the sage sticks."

Seika grabbed her arm. "_Aya, what are you doing_?"

"I am going hunt her down and destroy her."

Seika turn to Devdan and gave a small shake of her head; facing Aya, Seika began to hum, energy coalesced about her, the light surrounding her was a brilliant blue, then she directed it at Aya, yelling, "_Geist, schlaf!"_

As if she were boneless, Aya dropped to the floor.

Devdan looked at Seika, "You put her _spirit_ to sleep!"

"Devdan, there was no choice; please carry her to the adjoining bedroom."

When they settled Aya on the bed, Seika turned to Devdan. "Please, find Alistair; if…if he lives, tell him that I'm all right. Then try to find Fergus; if he's alive and able, please bring him here."

Devdan nodded.

~oOOo~

Upon hearing Gareth's voice, Loghain looked around wildly for Siobhan. They kept calling her name, only to be answered with silence. They finally found her crumpled, like a broken doll, against the side of the Archdemon. Gareth yelled "Siobhan!" as he dropped to his knees next to her. She was covered in blood and gore, and he couldn't tell how much of it was hers. He placed his hand to her mouth; she was breathing. Wynne arrived with another healer and began working on her.

Loghain pulled Gareth back up. "Son, you'll just get in Wynne's way. Take heart, Siobhan is a very strong woman."

Gareth could hear the desperate concern in his father's voice, as it mirrored his own. After a few moments, Gareth put a hand on his father's shoulder. "Da, thank you, but you can't stay here with me. You now have other duties and concerns you must tend to. I'll send word if anything…changes."

~oOOo~

Pulling away from the healer, Alistair stood up and looked around the roof; the battle had taken its toll. He went to Kyle and Loghain "I need you both to keep watch here; make sure _no one_ goes near the Archdemon or any of the darkspawn corpses. Once the healers and the injured are gone, you both need to clear the roof of _everyone_ else and guard the body until I return."

Kyle nodded. "Consider it done…I hope all is well with Udell's group."

Loghain placed his hand on Alistair's shoulder. "Commander, a moment?"

Alistair nodded.

"We...we found Siobhan. She was unconscious, crumpled next to the Archdemon...Wynne is working on her; Gareth is with her.

Alistair paled. "Please, Loghain, let me know as soon as you know _anything_!"

"Aye, Commander."

Alistair gave a curt nod and quickly walked to the door leading down the tower.

He found Fergus waiting for him at the entrance, his face was pale, and Devdan was standing beside him. "Alistair, Seika is all right."

Afraid of the answer. "Fergus how is Aya?"

"I don't know. Devdan is taking me to her."

When Alistair and Fergus reached the room, Seika was stepping out; tears running down her cheeks. Fergus fell to his knees; his heart is in his throat. "Maker NO. NO. Not _again_!"

Seika turned and quickly knelt next to the distraught man. "Fergus _listen_ to me. Aya is _not_ dead. Do you hear me? She is _not_ dead. I just need your help. Udell and Bryti are dead, as is the Archdemon."

Alistair helped him to his feet, and they followed Seika into the room. Aya was lying on the bed, as if asleep. Fergus looked puzzled. "Seika?"

"When she woke up and saw Udell, she didn't want to believe he was dead. She tried frantically to heal him. When she _realized_ the truth, she became inconsolable; then she was furious, which quickly turned into a deadly calm. She was going to take a spirit journey to hunt down and destroy Flemeth. I had no choice but to put her _spirit_ to sleep. I hoped and prayed that you were still alive so I could safely revive her."

Fergus' eyes widened as Seika spoke, when she was done, Fergus looked resolute. "What do you want me to do?"

"Lie down next to her and hold her."

He lay down next to Aya and held her as close as he could. He nodded to Seika, who put her hand to Aya's forehead and hummed a soft tune.

Aya slowly opened her eyes.

~oOOo~

After what seems like an eternity, Wynne stood and turned to Gareth, smiling. "Siobhan will be fine as will the baby. By the will of the Maker, she does not have the Blight sickness."

Gareth was so relieved; he staggered a bit, and then regained his footing. "Wynne, there are no words. May I hold her?"

"I'm sorry Gareth, not yet. She has several broken bones we have just started to knit. We need to use a litter to take her to the Palace." Gareth knelt next to his wife, her face was pale; blood covered her armor, and was matted in her hair.

Her eyes slowly opened, but they seemed unfocused; her voice was barely a whisper. "Where is Caradog?" Gareth looked at Wynne in fear.

"Don't worry Gareth, she's not completely conscious. Just answer her and perhaps it will bring her out of it."

"_Cariad_, Caradog died the night Highever was attacked. He's dead love, he died protecting you."

She became more awake. Seeing Gareth, she stroked his face; She was too weak to speak much, but Gareth saw in her eyes what she wanted to know.

"_Cariad_, you will be fine. The baby is fine. Da, Kyle, and Alistair are fine, which means the Archdemon is dead. Fergus is fine, as is Teagan. Alistair has taken over and is making sure no one goes near any of the darkspawn. "

Siobhan nodded her head and, once again, closed her eyes.

~oOOo~

Aya felt Fergus' arms around her. Then she looked into his eyes, her voice a whisper. _"Mien helle selle_, where am I?"

"What's the last thing you remember?"

After a moment, tears streamed down her face. "My…my Father and Bryti are _dead_!"

Seika went to the side of the bed. "You became hysterical…then you wanted to hunt Flemeth's essence and kill her. I had no choice but put your spirit to sleep, so you would not dream and be tempted. How do you feel?"

Aya's voice was weak. "Grief-filled… and joy…joyful." She moved as close to Fergus as possible and fell asleep.

"That's a real sleep." Seika reassured Fergus. "I'm going to see if they need healers. If you need it, there is a strong sleep draught on the bedside table, behind you. Give her the whole dose."

Fergus nodded.

Seika and Alistair left the room. Alistair, covered in blood and grime, couldn't pull her into his arms, so he removed his gauntlets and held her hands. "Thank the Maker you're alive, my love."

Seika hummed and healed some of the injuries he was trying to ignore, then she held his face in her hands and kissed him.

~oOOo~

It took time to clear the tower and set guards around the Archdemon's corpse, until Loghain, Kyle and Alistair could harvest its blood. Alistair had taken charge and was directing the cleanup of the tower roof. Once the Archdemon's corpse was secure, the three wardens left for the Palace; Loghain looked at Alistair, his voice gruff. "You…did well."

Alistair smiled wryly. "So did you."

Kyle laughed. "What about _me_? "

Alistair smiled. "You did well, too, Kyle. I'm…I'm proud to call _both_ of you brothers. Lets get back to the palace. We will need to soak in water for hours to get all this crap off."

~oOOo~

Siobhan eyes opened and immediately set them upon Gareth. "You're all right?" Her voice was a strained whisper. Gareth laughed tears of joy stroked the side of her head. "I'm _fine, cariad_; I was worried about _you_."

Siobhan smiled. "I told you... we Cousland women…are tough."

Gareth gathered Siobhan in his arms and chuckled. "Indeed you are."

A few moments later, Bryce was brought in and placed in her arms. For the first time since she left Gwaren, Siobhan felt truly whole.

~oOOo~

The Chasind lost a quarter of their men, including, Adler. Aya and Seika prepared Udell and Bryti for their pyres, as the rest of the army prepared their fallen. Unlike Fereldans, the bodies were wrapped in white cloth, closed with a ceremonial set of stiches. Aya explained to Alistair and Fergus. "The stitching represents the joining of the tribe and the Ancestors so they may both guide the deceased to their place among the them."

The Chantry, the Pearl, and the Denerim estate were relatively unscathed, and saved many of Denerim's residents. Teagan visited each place before returning to the Palace. The Chantry bells began to chime. Denerim was safe; the Blight was over.

~oOOo~

After a day, Siobhan refused to lie in bed any longer. Limping, she went to Aya, who was alone in her and Fergus' room, sitting by the fire.

"Aya?" Siobhan didn't want to startle the woman.

"Come in, Siobhan. Join me."

Siobhan sat in the chair next to her. "Aya, I'm here if you need me."

After moments of silence. "How did you manage to go on after your parents' death?"

"The unhealthy way. By pusing it in the back of my mind to deal with later."

"Have you?"

Siobhan sighed. "Probably not as much as I need to, but I manage. It's not a method I would recommend."

"I thought losing my mother was the worst thing to ever happen to me, but this feels so much worse than when she died."

"You didn't have to watch your mother die."

Aya nodded her head. "True."

"Aya, you need to give yourself time, just as you did with your mother. You need to reach out to those who love you and hang on for dear life."

"At least I have someone to hang on too."

Siobhan reached over to take Aya's hand. "You have many people to hang on to. Remember that."

~oOOo~

Two days after the fall of the Archdemon, Siobhan met privately with Alastair.

"You never planned on putting me through the Joining did you?"

Alistair looked directly at Siobhan. "True. I didn't and I still don't."

"Can you at least tell me the truth about why?"

Alistair shook his head. "No. Not yet."

"Alistair!"

"All I can ask is that you trust me, Siobhan."

After a few moments. "I have always trusted you, Alistair."

~oOOo~

At a prearranged time, Loghain, Kyle, Teagan and Gareth came into the room. Alistair looked a little puzzled. Siobhan stood up. "I have assembled the Fereldan Grey Wardens, along with the Regent, and the Teyrn of Gwaren to serve as witnesses. The men shuffled about, waiting to hear what Siobhan wanted witnessed.

"I, Siobhan Cousland Mac Tir, step down as Warden Commander, and formally appoint Alistair Theirin, to replace me as the Grey Warden Commander of Ferelden. Smiling at Alistair. "Congratulations, Commander. Who do you choose as your second?"

Without a pause. "I would like Loghain Mac Tir to serve as my second."

Relief was as clear on Kyle's face as confusion was on Loghain's. Loghain looked at Alistair. "Permission to speak freely, Commander?"

"Please do."

"Is this another part of my punishment; to serve under you?"

Alistair smiled. "No. You are a general of renown and I would be immature and foolish not to take advantage of that."

Loghain nodded.

Teagan smiled. "Well, now that the leadership of the Wardens has been resolved, I need to shed this Regent's title. The Landsmeet had been called for a week from today, as most of the nobles are still here."

Neither Alistair nor Loghain could withhold their groans. Siobhan didn't know what was funnier, the groans or the expression of the two men realizing they had _both_ groaned. Siobhan could not stop from laughing, nor could anyone else in the room.

~oOOo~

The day before the Landsmeet, Teagan, Fergus, Eamon and Alistair had several private meetings.

Gareth caught Eamon as he came out of the most recent meeting. "Eamon, do you need either Siobhan or I at these meetings?

"No, no, Gareth. Fergus and Alistair just wanted some advice about what to expect during this Landsmeet. One thing: Teagan will need to formally step down as Regent before the discussions of the Crown can take place. After Teagan steps down, you, as the highest ranking noble, will preside over the Landsmeet. The Seneschal will actually conduct the meeting.

Gareth laughed. "I already figured that one out for myself, Eamon. Tomorrow is going to be an interesting day."

Eamon smiled. "Indeed it will."

~oOOo~

It was the day of the Landsmeet. Alistair dressed in his dragon plate armor and carried Duncan's shield, befitting the Warden Commander of Ferelden. Loghain and Kyle were also turned out in their best armor. Loghain opting for a set of plate that wasn't his Chevalier armor.

Siobhan had figured on wearing _her_ armor to the Landsmeet, but Fergus flat our refused to let her. "You are the _Teyrna_ of Gwaren and you will dress like one. Besides, wouldn't you rather wear one of your own dresses?" Fergus presented her with a royal blue velvet dress,

When Siobhan saw the dress, her eye grew wide. "Fergus, this…this is one of the dresses Mother gave me when Gareth and I came to Highever! They were meant as a wedding gift. Where did you find it?"

"Apparently not everything at Highever was destroyed. Several of yours and mother's clothes were in trunks that were missed by Howe's men."

"Wait, how did _you_ get them? You haven't been back to Highever."

"Guardsman Ryan lived through the attack, and went back to Highever after Howe died. He took down everything even remotely related to Howe, and found the trunks. When he heard that we were alive and in Denerim, he brought them here."

"Guardsman Ryan? Wait, he was the one whose post was always near our private quarters. He was older than father, but a better guard I've never known. Is he still here?"

Fergus shook his head. "He went back to Highever to watch over it until we return."

~oOOo~

Gareth and Siobhan were dressing for the Landsmeet. Siobhan wore the blue dress. It was royal blue velvet with a neckline that showed the tops of her shoulders. The sleeves were narrow to the elbow then flared out in a sheer blue fabric. The fitted bodice had a dark gold satin stomacher decorated with beading, and lace made from gold thread. The skirt fell straight to the floor with a very slight train. Siobhan had been letting her hair grow and it was now shoulder length; Leliana fixed it in such a way to frame her face.

Gareth was wearing his dress armor, which his father had brought back from Ostagar. It was dark, almost black, plate with gold edging, and the Gwaren wyvern on the breastplate

Once Leliana was done with Siobhan's hair, they put on the gown. "Leli, it has been so long since I've worn anything other than armor. I'm surprised that it still fits."

Leliana smiled. "Remember, you have been marching all over Ferelden for the last year, losing weight. During your last months of pregnancy you merely gained back what you had lost. Now, I need to go and put on my own dress."

Siobhan met Gareth, just as he came out of Bryce's room.

Gareth stopped and drew his eyes over his wife. "_Cariad_, I cannot think of any words to express just how stunning you look."

Siobhan blushed. "Those will do" Then she kissed her husband.

~oOOo~

Attendance at this Landsmeet was record breaking. It seemed that every noble who wasn't _already_ here came to Denerim. Teagan made sure all the nobles who attended contributed to the Chantry, to help feed and clothe those who had lost everything. The Grand Cleric was all smiles and told each noble as they made their contribution that they were blessed in the Maker's eyes. Teagan chuckled as the nobles preened.

Teagan called the Landsmeet to order. "Lords and Ladies of the Landsmeet, I ask that you recognize Teyrn Gareth Mac Tir as the highest ranking noble in attendance. Once I step down, he will preside over this Landsmeet."

The Landsmeet roared in approval, surprising Gareth.

"Lords and Ladies of the Landsmeet; I, Teagan Guerrin, formally step down as Regent. I relinquish all authority granted to me by the Regency, and hold no claim to the throne of Ferelden."

Gareth cleared his throat. "As Teyrn of Gwaren, I believe I can speak on behalf of all. Ferelden owes you a debt of gratitude for being such a capable leader during our darkest hours."

Cheers rose from the Landsmeet.

Gareth took the seat next to the throne, as the Seneschal took over. "Lords and Ladies, first, we must address the the issue of the Teyrnir of Highever. At the previous Landsmeet, it was shown that Rendon Howe was responsible for the illegal massacre and plundering of House Cousland. I put before you the following question."

"Should Highever be returned to House Cousland? All in favor say, Yay." A loud roar of yays rose up.

"Any opposed?" Silence.

The Seneschal looked at Fergus. "Fergus Cousland, are you willing to assume the duties of Teyrn?"

Fergus nodded. "Yes. I am grateful for the opportunity to take up my father's duties as Teyrn of Highever."

The Seneschal turned towards the Landsmeet. "If anyone has good reason that Fergus' Cousland should not be Teyrn, please raise it now or be ever silent."

After dead silence, the Seneschal turned to Fergus. "Once we have a ruler, they shall make the formal proclamation."

The Seneschal continued, "We will now go about the task of selecting Ferelden's next ruler. Alistair Theirin, as the only blood relative of King Cailan, what say you?"

"Seneschal, Lords and Ladies of the Landsmeet, I relinquish _any_ claim I may have to the throne. I am now the Grey Warden Commander of Ferelden, which is where my true calling lies."

The Seneschal looked out. "Is the Landsmeet in agreement with this?"

The yays far out-stripped the nays.

"Once a ruler has been chosen, you will make the same oath."

Alistair nodded. "Yes, Lord Seneschal."

"Arl Eamon Guerrin, Arl Gallagher Wulff, and Arl Leonas Bryland, do any of you have candidates you would like to put forward?"

Siobhan noticed Alistair and Fergus. _They look like they are practically vibrating._

Gareth saw where Siobhan eyes went. _I wonder what those two have up their sleeves?_

Siobhan smiled to herself. _Those two are peas in a pod. What ever it is, I sense mischief._

Arl Eamon stood. "Seneschal, may I take the floor?"

The Seneschal nodded. "Lords and Ladies, the floor recognizes Eamon Guerrin, Arl of Redcliffe."

Siobhan tensed_. Damn him! I thought he agreed to leave Alistair alone._

Eamon came before the Landsmeet. "Lords and Ladies of Ferelden, long has our throne been held by the line of Calenhad. However, our beloved King Cailan had no heirs of the body, and we are left in a unique position. Even though I have supported and fought to keep a Theirin on the throne, I have now realized that perhaps we should embrace change."

Collective gasps and a scattering of applause came from the assembly.

Siobhan frowned. _What is he doing?_

"Lords and Ladies, during the last year we have warred against mindless beasts as fervently as we have warred against each other. We faced being forever divided by _our own_ hands, and then ravaged by the Blight. While we were warring against each other, there were those who fought to _unite_ us, not only to unite Ferelden, but to unite Ferelden with it neighbors: the Kingdom of Orzammar, the Dalish, the templars and mages of the Circle, and the tribes of the Chasind. _N__ot only_ did they _unite_ us, but they _saved_ us, from the Blight and from our own short-sightedness."

The Landsmeet cheered.

"I put forward Gareth and Siobhan Mac Tir to rule as King and Queen of Ferelden!"

The room was silent for a moment, the erupted in a frenzy of cheering and applause.

Eamon looked to Siobhan and to Gareth, who were stunned into silence. Then began to shake their heads, and stood up. Siobhan raised her hand for quiet. "Lords and Ladies, we were not alone in our efforts to protect Ferelden."

"My father and my sister were punished for their crimes _against_ Ferelden. My sister was _executed_ for them. Surely you are not considering putting a _Mac Tir_ on the throne?"

Alistair came forward. "If I may, Your Graces, Lord Seneschal?"

The Seneschal nodded.

"Teyrn Mac Tir, you are correct, your father and sister nearly destroyed our country. In fact, I carried a hatred of Loghain Mac Tir so fierce it almost consumed me. Then I met you, Your Grace. Never in my life have I met a man so devoted to his country, to its people, and to his family. And you, Teyrna Mac Tir, you rose from the ashes of Ostagar, to gather and lead, what _was_ a party of three, that grew into a force of hundreds. You led us to the Dwarves, the Dalish, the Mages and the Templars. You always assisted them in their troubles and earned both their respect and their loyalty. You are every bit as devoted as your husband. Together, you are a force to be reckoned with; a force for peace and for prosperity."

"Well spoken, Warden Commander." Arl Eamon gave Alistair a small bow.

Bann Sighard stood. "Seneschal, may I share the floor with Arl Eamon?"

Arl Eamon nodded. "As Arl Guerrin agrees, please come forward."

Bann Sighard looked at Siobhan and Gareth, and bowed. Then he looked at the assembly. "Lords and Ladies, my son was _tortured_ as a result of Loghain Mac Tir and Rendon Howe. I have more reason than many to refuse to have a Mac Tir on the throne. However, time and again, Gareth Mac Tir has shone, through his words and _actions_, that he is _not_ his father. Gareth Mac Tir is a leader who has strength, intelligence, and heart. I, for one, would be proud to have Teyrn and Teyrna Mac Tir as my King and Queen."

Gareth looked at Siobhan, she nodded. They stood, hands joined, and addressed the assembly, Eamon, Sighard, and Alistair.

Siobhan smiled. "We are truly humbled by your praise, my Lords and Ladies. If the Landsmeet wishes it, we will serve. However, we will not serve without a unanimous vote; we do not wish for our rule to start out with a house divided."

The Seneschal held up his hand. "Those who _oppose_ the bid for Gareth and Siobhan Mac Tir to be our next King and Queen please speak now."

A joyful silence filled the room.

**~Fin~**

* * *

**AN:** There will be an epilogue posted tomorrow, but we have come to the end. I have been writing this story for the last year and two months. It is my first story and I've learned so much, and come to know many of the authors, that I have always admired.

Thank you to Shakespira, Aya001, xseikax, Eva Galana, Jinx, and RandomWittering, not only for your reviews, but your thoughts, advice and support.

Special thank you to Nithu for her unending support, whose awesome beta skills are directly responsible for the improvement of my writing.

Thank you one and all


	64. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

_4, Bloomingtide, 9:38 Dragon_

_Valaria Hawke, Viscountess of Kirkwall_  
_Viscount's Keep_  
_Kirkwall_

_Dear Valeria, _

_Or should I say Viscountess Hawke? I find it hard to believe it's been nine years since I met you and Bethany, in Lothering. A memorable meeting indeed! Imagine my shock at receiving a letter from "Valeria Hawke, Viscountess of Kirkwall." _

_I've thought about you and your family often over the years, but with the complete destruction of Lothering, I had no hope of finding out how you all fared. While I'm grateful that you were able to escape the Blight, I'm so very sorry for the losses you suffered. I know starting out in Kirkwall couldn't have been easy. _

_I don't keep abreast of the Warden roster or I would have recognized Bethany's name. However, after I received your letter, I went to see her at the Vigil. Once she got past my title, she and I had a wonderful visit. She really is a gift to the Wardens; I'm just sorry that it happened the way it did. As for Flemeth…let's just say that I'm glad she saved you. When I see you in a few months, I'll recount the full tale of how the Archdemon was killed. That is a story best told, not written._

_I'm thrilled that you're happily married and expecting your first child. Fenris sounds amazing and, from you letter, it seems that he truly loves and supports you. I know from Bethany, your position as Viscountess came at a steep price. Alistair is still furious over Anders' actions and regrets ever having conscripted him. I agree with you, we need templars to protect and defend Mages, and we have worked very hard with the Fereldan Circle to change the jailor-like attitude of the templars and the Chantry. Unfortunately, Anders' actions stirred up a hornet's nest for the Chantry, for Orlais and for all of Thedas._

_You said that you wanted to hear __all__ about what happened after the Blight. Well, after our coronation, we made several important decisions. The Arling of Amaranthine was given to the Grey Wardens, the Warden Commandeer serving as Arl. We gave land in the Brecilian forest to the Dalish, and the ruins and lands around Ostagar to the Chasind. The Chasind already rebuilt parts of Ostagar, and it serves as a place for all Chasind tribes to gather together. Gareth was worried that given Bryti and Udell's deaths, the Chasind would once again become warring tribes, but that hasn't been the case, at all._

_Working closely with the elves in Denerim, the Alienage was rebuilt from the ground up, with the __Vhenadahl__ in the center of what now looks like a lovely village. An elven woman, Shianni, was named "Bann of the Denerim Elves" (through mutual agreement, we dropped the word __Alienage__). So far, so good, the Elves now have a place they can call home that isn't dilapidated and over-crowded. They can maintain their traditions and no longer be considered second class subjects. Attitudes towards elves are beginning to change, but it's a slow process._

_Gareth and I have kept up the alliances that were forged during the Blight. We have convened them as a formal group called the Grand Council of Southern Thedas. The members are, the King of Orzammar, the Dalish Keepers, tribal representatives of the Chasind, the Knight-Commander and the First Enchanter of our Circle, the Grand Cleric, and Gareth and me. What started out as awkward has become a strong group of leaders who look out for our corner of Thedas. It has allowed our different cultures to share and learn from one another. We also present a united front against the other parts of Thedas, like Orlais. In fact, Orlais is now far less eager to retrieve their "lost province" Thank you so much, for the information you included on the events in Kirkwall. It was invaluable to the Council. We are preparing for the uprising of the Circles. Thedas, it seems, is facing a holy war._

_Alistair is a formidable Commander and Arl. Under his command, the Wardens have flourished, swelled in numbers and have the full respect and support of Ferelden. Yes, this is the same Alistair who managed to lose __all__ of his socks in his __own__ tent. It turned out that all of his socks were __under__ the bedroll he had just slept the night on. I was so grateful that your brother had a spare pair. _

_Alistair's now married to a wonderful woman named Seika, who is a Chasind healer, and they have a lovely daughter named Aya. She's seven and our son, Bryce, is eight and a half. Already they're the best of friends and both of them have said that when they grow up they're going to get married. Thank the Maker they're still children, I'm not ready to be a mother-in-law! _

_I'm not surprised that Leliana has become the left hand of the Divine. It's suits her talents and beliefs, perfectly. I think it's ominous to hear that Divine thinks she needs a 'left hand.' If circumstances are such that you speak to Leliana again, send her mine and Gareth's love. I miss her, terribly._

_On a more personal note, in addition to Bryce, Gareth and I have been blessed with Celia, who is seven, and twins, Leliana and Cailan, who are five. Celia is a songbird, she has the most beautiful voice. Currently she is very interested in learning about the Chantry, and loves singing the chat. Leliana, on the other hand, is just like I was at that age. She __refuses__ to wear dresses and prefers tunics and trousers. She also prefers playing in the dirt and staging mock battles with her two brothers. Of course, as I write this, I can hear my mother in the back of my mind laughing hysterically. She always told me 'wait until you have your own.' So, I've learned __not__ to fight Leli about her clothes. I just make sure her tunics and trousers are made for __her__, as opposed to her borrowing Cailan's. Speaking of whom, Cailan shows talent as an archer, even at his early age. The Dalish Keeper, Lanaya, has invited him (two years from now) to stay with thier clan, and learn from their hunters. You know the Dalish, this is a rare opportunity. Naturally, Cailan gets very excited every time the subject comes up._

_I look forward to having you and Fenris come to Ferelden for a visit after your baby is born. I understand Fenris has never been here, so you will have whatever you need at your disposal, if you want to show him some of Ferelden. I love your idea of leaving the children with their fathers and seeing if we can recreate Barlin's special drink. Although, we should come up with a better name than Lothering's Lament! _

_I shall close this letter, as I fear it has become an epic. Please, send our regards to your friend, Varric, and tell him he and his tales are welcome here any time he'd like to visit._

_I wish you all the best._

_Yours,  
Siobhan_

As she sealed the letter, Siobhan looked out her window and reminisced about the other things that had happened after the Blight.

_Fergus and Aya married, and after some lively discussions with the nobles, Aya was invested as Teyrna. Castle Cousland is still rebuilding and Highever is prospering. Fergus and Aya are well-loved by the people, who will occasionally refer to Fergus as their 'Minstrel Teyrn,' a nickname Aya has let flourish, although I also suspect she started it. They have been blessed with 'five children and counting,' Maeve, Udell, Rory, Eleanor and __Raelyn. Granted, four of them, Maeve and Udell, and Eleanor and Raelyn are twins. Fergus says that Rory and Udell feel the need to stick together as they are 'surrounded by sisters.'_

_Zevran stayed at the Palace, and is in charge of Palace security. He has thrived, and as a result we are safe and don't feel like prisoners. He's still with Sam, who was the caretaker of Rainesfere__ while Teagan served as Chamberlain. Teagan, it seems, did it , in part, to get back at his brother for sending Sam to spy on us during the Blight. _

_Just three years after the coronation, Eamon unexpectedly passed away. Teagan left his position and to become the Arl of Redcliffe and Samuel was named Bann of Rainesfere for his services during and after the Blight. _

_Connor joined the circle and passed his harrowing in record time. Now that mages are allowed to have visitors and, with templar escort, leave the Circle, we see Connor often, as does Zevran. Connor said that being with us, was like having a second home. No. I will not think about Isolde. I will not think about Isolde._

_Morrigan left after the final battle and we've had no word from her._

_Arl Gallagher Wulff was elevated to Teyrn of Gwaren. He has proven to be a capable and well-like Teyrn.  
_

_Loghain reached his calling early; Gareth and Alistair returned just last month from accompanying him to the Deep Roads. He was a wonderful Grand Da, and the kids miss him very much._

Siobhan was still looking out the window, when she felt a warm hand on her shoulder. She turned and smiled at her husband. He still looked every bit as amazing as he did the day she met him. "Hello my love. How was the meeting with the King Bhelen?"

Gareth gently stroked her hair. "I think we'll be able to make a deal on lyrium. But that's not why I'm here."

"Oh?"

Gareth pulled Siobhan into his arms; his answer wasn't in words.

**~Fin~**


End file.
